It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Still her Stepdaughter?” who wrote in several months ago wondering whether she should invite herself to visit her deceased father’s recent ex-wife, whom she missed very much, despite mixed signals since the father’s/ ex-husband’s death in April ’11. Keep reading to see whether she did, indeed, invite herself to visit her stepmother.
The visit didn’t really give me any solid signs as to what kind of relationship she envisions having with me and the rest of my family since my dad’s death. It’s a little awkward since she and my dad divorced less than two months before he died, and as I mentioned in my first letter, I’m not sure if she considers herself an ex-wife or a widow. Still, I feel better knowing I’m doing my part to stay in touch with Charlene, and that’s a good feeling.
Thanks so much to all of you for helping to make sense of a situation that really was quite simple, but too overshadowed with emotion for me to navigate well. I’m confident that in the future, I’ll continue to show Charlene and that, regardless of the choices my dad made, our family’s feelings toward her haven’t changed.
Thanks for the great update! You sound like a kind and compassionate step-daughter whom Charlene should feel lucky to have in her life.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.