It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “The Key Issue” who was unhappy that her girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend had a key to her new place. “One day, while I was staying at her place, he was over to see the [twins] and, when he left, he locked the door with a key that I didn’t think he had or needed. This issue has caused problems. Do I have the right to be upset?” she asked. Update below.
I went no contact – blocked her and changed my number. I was slowing getting over her when, three months later, out of the blue, guess who texted me? She got my number from someone, saying she’s just checking on me. She and the new girl are broken up or in the process of breaking up and now she wants to be friends. I think she’s out for revenge because I said some mean things to her — too mean for her to reach out to me. I was happy she contacted me because it gave my hurt ego a boost – BUT my gut feeling is saying “steer clear!”. Also, who comes back and doesn’t apologize for all the hurt and pain, only saying, “Yeah, it could have been handled differently”?
Thank you for your great advice when I first reached out to you about seven months ago. Should I steer completely clear? Or should I be friends but keep her at a distance?
I’d MOA. The ex sounds like a dramatic emotional vampire who doesn’t know how to function on her own and is always lining up the next relationship while “in the process” of ending whatever current one she’s in. She’s not looking for a friend or even a girlfriend. She’s looking for life support. It sounds like your life was doing just fine without her in it. MOA.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.