It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “The Key Problem” who wrote in last week about her uneasiness with boyfriend’s close friendship with his ex-girlfriend, especially how he still held on to a key to her apartment and was her go-to guy any time she locked herself out or needed help with anything. Keep reading to see whether he got rid of that key yet.
I agree wholeheartedly with what you said and many of the readers reiterated about my boundaries and acceptance of a situation I am not comfortable with. In my past, I was in an abusive relationship and could not speak up about my feelings without reprisal. I am not in that kind of relationship now, and I need to remember that it is normal and healthy to communicate my feelings, especially my discomfort. I do think he is a great person, and I am going to continue the relationship while setting better boundaries for myself and demanding respect. The reason why I am going to stay is because I am happy 90% of the time. Let’s just say for the sake of argument that it doesn’t work out: at least I will have given myself the opportunity to have worked on my personal boundaries and respect issues. This keeps in line with my motto that I am always trying to be the best version of myself and can only control the things in my life that I am responsible for: my actions and my decisions.
So…last night my boyfriend’s ex called him and asked again if he could unlock her place. This is the second time in two weeks! He told her that he no longer had the key and that she needed to call one of her good friends. She tried to object and asked what he was doing later because she might still need “rescuing.” He said we would be busy and that she should probably buy a hide-a-key rock in case this happens again. 🙂
Good for him.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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