It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Tired of Being Lied To,” who was upset that her friend, whom she was planning to move in with in September, was lying about her relationship with her brother. After the jump, find out if she’s still planning on moving in with her friend and how she feels about her potentially getting back together with her brother.
As I’m sure you know, Wendy, there is always much more to the back story than what a LW can put down and not drag on forever. (Pardon me, but I might start dragging on. Apologies!) So, that said, there are at least a dozen other reasons why my relationship with Meg was on shaky ground, some of those reasons were my fault, and some hers. But a good friend should make you feel like a better person. Being friends with Meg, both now and in the past, has left me feeling drained and miserable. I’m not a better person as a result of our friendship. About three years ago, I went through a rough patch, and cut off communication with several old friends, one of them Meg. It worked out for the best — I trained for and ran a marathon, met my current boyfriend (we’ve been together for over a year and a half!), earned my Master’s degree, and made plenty of new friends along the way. You told me to get a life – I do have a life. But I knew that I had matured over the past few years, and I wanted to see if she and I had both changed enough to make a close friendship work. And while we may have progressed in our own personal lives, our friendship regressed back to the way it was before. At least now, I feel as though I am mature enough to deal with it and make smarter decisions – like NOT move in with her. — Currently minding my own beeswax
Yes! Good for you. Often, when I read letters, I have to try to read between the lines and intuit whatever details might have been left out. I know me telling you to “get a life” was harsh (as many commenters pointed out), but I was basing it only on what was shared in the letter and the blanks I was trying to fill in. I’m glad you hear you have a full and happy life and you’re mature enough to step out of a situation (like living with Meg) and take the path of least resistance (and drama).
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.