It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Tired of Waiting,” whose boyfriend, after five years of dating and even buying a ring, announced he simply wasn’t ready to get engaged yet. “I want to give him more time,” she wrote, “but at this point, am I being foolish for thinking that he’ll ever change his mind? I thought that months of counseling (after over five years together!) would do it, but it feels like we’re back at square one.” After the jump find out whether she’s still waiting, six months later.
Shortly after I wrote you, my boyfriend started seeing a new therapist who was a much better fit for him than his previous one, and he also was diagnosed with and began treatment for dysthymia, a form of depression. Though my six month deadline was rapidly approaching, he made a LOT of progress in the months following my letter. Just over a week ago, he proposed!! We both couldn’t be more excited and are planning our wedding for next September. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend other women waiting for an engagement to do the same in all circumstances, but I do think this goes to show that it can be worth waiting a certain amount of time IF you both share the goal of marriage and IF he is taking real action to get over his hang ups and reach this goal.
So Wendy, thank you again for your advice, it truly was helpful in my approach to this difficult situation. I am so excited to have a happy outcome to report, finally!
That’s wonderful news! Thanks for the update, and best wishes to you both!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at email@example.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.