It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Type A” who was tired of what she considered her fiancé’s lack of responsibility and was looking forward moving 10 hours away for a fellowship while he finished his last year of law school. Keep reading to see whether they’re still together and how they’re doing now.
The forgetfulness is something that my husband had noticed about himself as well, and we put many of the ideas from the forums to good use (he has a planner, makes notes to himself and sets reminders in his phone, etc.)!
In my letter I wrote that I was going to be relieved to get away…which I now see as ridiculous. I would give anything to be living together again. Being apart has also made me realize that, while he may have been (and is) dependent on me for certain things, that I was also (and am) dependent on him for certain things. Basically, we’re partners and we complement each other. I don’t know if he’s the one who has changed or if it was just my perspective that has become clear, but I view our relationship now as one of mutual responsibility. We take care of each other. Truth be told, I’m a little embarrassed to go back and read what I wrote to you–I think much of my frustrations stemmed from my lack of perspective, and overreaction, rather than from any lack of responsibility on his part.
On a happy note, we had an awesome wedding and I am incredibly excited to move back in with my husband in 2 months and 29 days (not that I’m counting…)!!
Thank you so much (and to the DW community as well) for all of the support and insight!!
Thanks for the update and congrats on your recent marriage! Best wishes to you and your husband for a happy and long marriage.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.