It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Uncertain about Friendships” who was upset that her boyfriend wanted to keep plans to attend a female friend’s party the same night she had a friend in town who wanted everyone to go out to a club together. Did the two go their respective events separately? Did they compromise and do both? Find out after the jump.
I wanted to update after reading all the comments. Honestly, when I read back my letter I did sound very bitchy. Let me clarify that I suffer from anxiety and panic disorder and tend to overreact about small things because of my thought process (which is usually negative off the bat). Also, I wrote it in a moment of anger and I guess that definitely came through.
Thank you for your advice — it was what I needed to hear. I appreciate the comments on the post as well, however some were a little excessive… Just to clarify some things: my boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years, and we DO go out without each other many times. I know in my letter I definitely sounded bossy, possessive, etc… but that’s not really how I am. I guess the reason I reacted that way was because I never really take much importance to friends. I do have friends and care for them a lot, but I always have my guard up because I have been screwed over sooooo many times by people I thought were my friends. My boyfriend is not like this. He takes friendships very seriously because his friends have been there for him more than his family. So at the time, when he did not want to compromise, it made me angry he was choosing a friend (that he hadn’t seen in a long time) over me. However, we talked things out and ended up doing both parties because, as you said, he didn’t like the way I approached it and I completely agreed with him!
Thank you again for telling it to me straight and to the readers who took the time to look past the “bitchiness” of my tone & give me some real whole advice.
P.S. the girl was actually very nice and I really got a good vibe from her!
It’s always nice when letter writers don’t get so overly defensive that they can’t hear the good intention of the advice given. You are the perfect example of that and I’m so glad things worked out.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.