It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Wants More Support” who wrote in last week after she and her husband went on a weekend getaway with some of his friends, during which one of his co-workers drunkenly hit on and groped the LW after her husband passed out in their hotel room. Later she asked her husband to say something to the co-worker, but he said he didn’t know what to say. “Now I am left feeling like he doesn’t support me or have my back. Am I right in thinking that he should say something to his friend?” she asked. Keep reading to see whether the husband spoke up.
You are correct in guessing all of the things going through my head when the guy was touching me. I was confused, but, most importantly, I was worried that, if I angered him, he might fly off the handle and hurt me (the guy is huge).
After repeated discussions, my husband finally called this “friend” and did talk to him about the incident. The guy admitted that he had been thinking about it since it happened and that WE had been giving him mixed signals all day. My husband asked him how he could have misconstrued anything that happened during the day “as mixed signals.” After a feeble attempt by the “friend” to try to explain how he was getting mixed signals, my husband ended the conversation and the friendship. My husband seemed more angry about this development than he was about his friend doing what he did to me.
For what it’s worth, this incident is over. I’m still not incredibly happy about the incident and won’t be going on any more trips like this with my husband or his friends.
Thanks for the update! I hope you and you husband can move on and let this whole thing go.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.