It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Water Under the Bridge” who was being considered for a dream job on the other side of the country where she’d working under a man she had a brief affair with years ago. “One’s relationship with one’s boss is a critical one and I have this nagging suspicion that he stills hold a torch for me, crazy as it sounds. If I am offered this job, is it reasonable to think that he can put any old feelings aside so that we can work together? Or would I be foolishly placing myself into a difficult working environment?” After the jump, find out whether or not she’ll be working with her old fling and how she’s handling the situation.
The update is that I was not selected for the next (in-person) round of the hiring process so I will not have to face the dilemma after all. However, I did get some answers and some great feedback. Once I knew I had not been selected, I emailed the ex-fling and (politely and professionally) asked if he would share any feedback with me. I explained that I am actively seeking this kind of position and would greatly value any tips (we all know how rare it is to find out what happened behind the scenes of an interview process). He wrote right back and offered that we speak on the phone.
I was really pleased with our call. He was generous and professional in giving me some insight into the process and general advice about my career. It turned out that the hiring committee was impressed with me but I was ultimately beat out by a person with more direct experience. He said he had mixed feelings about it himself because he knows I’d be an asset there and was tempted to push for me but didn’t want to tamper with the process (and I wouldn’t have wanted him to!). He let me know of another similar position in his office that may be opening soon and promised to give me a heads up if it becomes vacant.
Who knows if or when that other position will become available. And I am not sure if I would apply again but our talk did give me some confidence that he is able to be friendly and professional with me and put the past behind us. Not only that, I was reminded of the work philosophy that I always admired in him.
Meantime, my boyfriend and I have started the moving-in process here at home so most of the focus will be on that happy transition for the next few months. Thanks again! — Water Under the Bridge
Thanks for the update! Sounds like it’s all worked out for the best, and at the very least, you’ll have more confidence and insight going into your next job application — wherever that may be. Good luck!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.