Forum Replies Created
Engagement parties are really stupid. A wedding is the actual event. Go tot he wedding. And god dammit, people, stop having stupid engagement parties. Isn’t an engagement announcement, a shower, and bachelorette party and a wedding enough for one milestone?! People have lives and other commitments!!
You don’t have to do any of that stuff. I personally find most of it ridiculous. Pre-wedding photos? Engagement photos? Why? I didn’t have any of that. No bridal shower. No wedding party. And I’m in less married than anyone who did have that stuff. Why do you think you have to do any of that? Is someone telling you you do? They’re wrong!
I’m sorry, but it doesn’t sound like there *is* a compromise here that will work. You are both pretty set on living close to your families. Your families live far apart, your families are not interested in moving. You may be a “an excellent fit for each other” in every other way, but this is a pretty major issue in which you are NOT an excellent fit. We see this all the time. It’s similar to a two people not agreeing on whether or not to have kids. That’s just not something you can move past. There are issues on which you really, really have to match or compromise on (whether or not to have kids, whether or not to get married, what religion to raise your kids if you have them, and where to live) and issues where it’s ok to differ a bit (whether or not you both like sports, have the same favorite foods, enjoy the same hobbies, like watching Rachel Maddow before bed). You’d be better off being a less excellent match on other stuff and a better match on the where-to-live issue. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. I’m afraid I don’t see this resolving in a way that leaves both of you satisfied. As painful as it is, you probably need to end the relationship and move on.
I did it for you, Kate!
Back by popular demand (and thanks to my server and ad network), each forum post will now allow up to 10 notices of edits made (i.e. the “This topic was modified…”).November 27, 2017 at 1:43 pm in reply to: “My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want me to Spend Christmas with My Family” #727757
Your boyfriend is a controlling dipshit who is dating someone a decade younger because he knows you are malleable and naive and are more likely than a woman his own age to do whatever he says. This will not end well. Dump him now and save yourself the agony of seeing what I mean.
Just go on the trip, honestly. There’s not much to do in the first few days that a baby is born anyway except sit around and look at it. When my now-husband and I first met, his SIL was pregnant with the family’s first grand baby and she was due right around my 30th bday. We were long distance and instead of opting to come be with me on my bday, he stayed local so he could be in town should his nephew be born. His nephew was born the day before my birthday and as excited as my husband was to meet him, i think he felt kind of in the way when he went to visit, and said later than he regretted his decision not to be with me instead.
The flea market is outdoors (it stretches a whole block) and isn’t crowded, just in case you might be on the fence.
Becco IS really good. People raved about the food at our wedding reception, and when does that ever happen?
Anyway, have a great time! I wish my life weren’t currently turned upside down, or I would insist on meeting you for a drink. Next time!
Awesome — have fun!!
Do you like flea markets? If so, you could combine a walk on the highline with a stop at the Hell’s Kitchen flea market, not too far from the highline. There’s also a couple popular brunch spots near there, like 44 1/2 on 10th ave.
The place where we had our wedding reception in 2009, Becco, is on restaurant row in the theater district and a hot spot for the pre-theater dinner crowd. The food is very good, and every bottle of wine is $25 or less (or at least it was when I was last there a few years ago). What show are you going to see?
Check out the library bar at the hudson hotel for a New York-y place to have a drink and wander around. It’s not too far from Central Park. And not too far from the Museum of Art and Design, which is my favorite museum and one that even someone who doesn’t like art museums might enjoy.
Saturday looks to be 50 degrees and sunny — could be a perfect day for a stroll on the highline in Chelsea. And your husband might enjoy touring the Intrepid if that’s open over the weekend.November 20, 2017 at 10:57 am in reply to: “My Husband Says My Weight Gain is ‘Grounds for Divorce'” #727279
Your husband is a total asshole. He doesn’t care about you, your feelings, or your marriage. I would not even bother trying to salvage the relationship. Salvage yourself instead. Divorce the motherfucker, take him to the cleaners, get yourself a great therapist, and I second the suggestion for a personal trainer too (or the pursuit of any kind of formal and regular exercise to help boost your energy and confidence and mental and physical health).
You guys moved in together and he realized that for whatever reason, you are not the person for whom he would want to compromise his feelings about marriage. That doesn’t mean he lied. He probably did think in the beginning that if things progressed well, he could see himself getting married if it’s what you really wanted. Then he realized that, no, he doesn’t see that. And now he’s trying to figure out if he sees any future at all, which is why he wants space and is going to see his family (without you). I would not expect this relationship to last much longer.