ktfran

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  • January 28, 2024 at 5:02 pm #1127909

    Everything @copa said!

    January 28, 2024 at 12:52 pm #1127899

    And then he gets mad at her and makes her feel bad if she doesn’t. That’s controlling.

    So yes, sharing your life is good. Reporting every move, such as leaving your house with who and when, is not good.

    I also don’t tell him every single time I run an errand. Sure, maybe he sees that I ran to CVS but I don’t feel the need to tell him that I left the house between 1:00 and 1:30 to pick up toothpaste.

    • This reply was modified 2 months ago by ktfran.
    January 28, 2024 at 12:51 pm #1127898

    I probably didn’t explain well. The husband and I tell each other about our days. But let’s say he’s at work and decides to eat lunch with a friend. He doesn’t text or call or e—mail prior to say “I’m going out with a friend for lunch. I’ll be an hour.”

    Another example – he has an activity every Sunday in the burbs. If a friend asked me to brunch Sunday morning after he has left, I wouldn’t contact him first and check in. I’d only tell him if I knew I wouldn’t be home around the time he usually comes home so he doesn’t worry. Sure, I’d tell him later, but I wouldn’t check in prior.

    It sounds like this dude wants the LW to check in before doing anything. She doesn’t need to do that. That’s not normal.

    January 27, 2024 at 6:57 pm #1127885

    This whole introvert thing is extremely troublesome and weird. You mention it a lot.

    Opening up and sharing information is not the same as accounting for your every movement. You do not need to tell him every time you leave the house and with whom. You’re not in prison. And it has nothing to do with being an introvert or extravert. I think you need to see a therapist because he has you convinced that you must tell him everything. You don’t.

    I do not keep tabs on my husband. And vice versa. For all I know, he could be lunching everyday with new people. He’ll mention it if there’s something interesting to mention. He’s also not a big sharer, and I’m ok with that.

    Add me to those who agree with Kate and that he probably strays.

    January 16, 2024 at 4:59 pm #1127735

    Will do @Copa. I have a spreadsheet going of all the different cruiselines / ships. I’d be happy to share sometime.

    A friend is going with us. Her last two continents to hit are South America and Antarctica. We’re her only friends that will be doing this trip (Antarctica), so she’s coming with! We actually also asked the gentlemen we met on our Galapagos trip, but the timing doesn’t work out. They were so much fun and make great vacation friends.

    We always make friends on these big trips. The husband still exchanges texts with someone we met in Italy last summer.

    I have to go to Austin at the end of the month for work and am staying a couple days extra. Besides that, we’re not leaving until our annual Hilton Head trip in the spring.

    January 16, 2024 at 4:19 pm #1127731

    @Rangerchic, how fun!! We’re also doing an Alaskan cruise this summer, but not until June/July. We’re going with my parents and my in-laws. They all get along great, so should be a good time.

    And @Copa, we’re doing Antarctica Jan 2025 for my 45th. We’re going on a ship that’s only for like 240 people. We’re booking that by mid-February.

    In 2022, we did Galapagos for the husband’s 40th. That ship hosted 100 people.

    I’m not a cruise person either, but there are certain trips where it makes sense. The only other on my bucket list is a German river cruise in December for Christmas market hopping.

    January 14, 2024 at 12:07 pm #1127608

    Thanks Copa. The only reason I might say something is it happened it the fall too. We had brunch plans on a Saturday. She canceled because she was sick. But was posting the next day while out with friends. Time to reassess that friendship!

    The sushi was delish. And last night the husband took me to Perilla, a place I’ve been wanting to try. It was so good. And the waitstaff was so nice. Definitely going back. We do have some kimchi fried rice and scallion pancakes left over!!

    I’m making soup tonight so might venture to the pastry shop across the street for a baguette. This cold is yikes though. Two pairs of gloves and still that cold. Eek!

    January 13, 2024 at 11:07 pm #1127596

    Off work topic.

    My birthday is tomorrow. Last night, I invited my friends to meet up for sushi and to celebrate. Everyone but one made it, including two from the burbs. Weather has the excuse. Fair. It’s shitty weather. But I feel tonight is objectively worse than last night and she’s posting about a night out with a different friend.

    Like, if you’re gonna cancel, don’t post.

    Sorry. Needed to vent. I was about to send something passive aggressive but I think I’ll send a text tomorrow after I cool down.

    January 2, 2024 at 10:08 pm #1127415

    Maybe my “in” this year should be Tik Tok? Because this is the second time today I’m learning about ins/outs. I had no clue!

    My big out this year would be food waste. My big in would be declutter/decorate our condo that we’ve lived in for nearly 7 years.

    December 27, 2023 at 8:41 am #1127299

    What everyone else said. You can break up with anyone for any reason. I’d break up with him. I broke up with my college school boyfriend because he wanted to follow Widespread Panic or something. I wanted to start a career.

    I wanted to address the line about your life plan though. You said you wanted kids in five years.

    You need to relax your timeline. Life doesn’t always work out the way we want. I’m convinced that if you stick to these strict life milestones like marriage and kids by a certain age, you are more likely to choose the wrong partner. Of course sometimes it works out. A lot of times, it doesn’t and you end up either divorced or miserable. Picking a good partner who matches your values is more important than meeting arbitrary timelines.

    December 25, 2023 at 2:13 pm #1127264

    I spent a little more on my sisters this year, but since their birthdays are Nov/Dec, I combined the two to get them the more expensive gift, a pretty lightweight robe with their birth month flowers. I got one for myself too. 😁

    The nephew got a dinosaur. The three year old niece got a mermaid blanket and jewelry making kit. The 14 year old got a hoodie she wanted. The 18 years got a pair of socks and a pin, but she’s still coasting on her Italy trip. Presents will go back to normal next year.

    The husband and I won’t do presents til I get back home. He still spends Xmas with his fam (as an only) and I like to be with my nieces and nephews.

    December 11, 2023 at 9:14 pm #1127051

    That’s a great question and one I can’t unfortunately answer. My gut says you’re overthinking it. If they didn’t want to interact, they could not answer or do a fade, so I think you’re ok. I think it’s also ok to check in and ask. The older I get, the more I like being direct and asking tough questions instead of constantly over analyzing. It’s sometimes uncomfortable for a moment, but clears headspace.

    I haven’t been in this situation. And nearly all my friends married later, think 35+, and so I weirdly don’t have divorced friends. My husband was married before me, and that ended badly/no kids so he had zero contact with her peeps. He won’t even talk about her to me.

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