Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

ktfran

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  • in reply to: Acne meds #729337
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    ktfran
    Participant

    I developed adult acne a couple different times. Once mid 20s, another time, early 30s. With mid 20s, I used Proactive and it was a success. With the early 30s bout of acne, I cut down on dairy intake, particularly milk, and I started using Kiehl’s products. That helped tremendously. I also started using an aztec clay mask once a week. You can get it on amazon or Whole Foods. Actually,this was my routine:

    Gentle face wash in the morning and night. I use Nuetrogena Natural
    Kiehls Ultra Facial Cream after each wash. If I notice my skin is dryer than usual, I slather that shit on.
    Once a week, Aztec Clay Mask, which I mix with apple cider vinegar per the instructions. This stuff is amazing. https://www.amazon.com/Aztec-Secret-Cleansing-Original-Bentonite/dp/B0014P8L9W
    I also started using Kiehls pineapple papaya facial scrub once or twice a week. I love that stuff.

    My acne was never really cystic though. It was just lots of breakouts on my cheeks and chin. Since then, with the above routine, I’ve been able to keep my skin at bay. I actually had a facial earlier this year and she said she could tell that I’ve had some problems with acne, but that my skin is really doing good now. I know you’ve said you have tried lots of products, but I wanted to mention a combo that worked for me.

    Good luck!

    in reply to: We are not kids anymore #729227
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    ktfran
    Participant

    Yeah. I’m confused. This is what I gather.

    LW just ended a bad, traumatic relationship.
    She shared details with a whole bunch of friends, excluding one.
    That one found out from people gossiping. Is hurt. And is pulling away.
    LW is mad that friend is hurt and is pulling away because she’s going through a lot.

    Did I get this right? Is that basically what is happening? Because honestly, if I were your friend, LW, I wouldn’t know what to say to you because:
    1. All I know is what mutual friends have told me
    2. I would feel purposefully excluded and hurt
    3. Of course I wouldn’t reach out because I’m not even supposed to know what’s going on!

    I understand that you don’t want to tell this friend certain things. Not everyone has to know everything. But, by not reaching out to her AT ALL and letting her know you’re going through something huge and need some time, you have alienated her. So yes, you have a right to your feelings, but she has a right to hers. And you’re mad at her for being hurt?

    I do think the onus is on you to repair the friendship.

    in reply to: This whole Trump situation just gets worse and worse everyday #729161
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    ktfran
    Participant

    What Ron said.

    Trump won Alabama by a huge margin in 2016. The fact that a democrat was able to close the gap, and win, is big! Jones did well among the college educated too.

    From the Guardian:
    “Jones also made significant inroads among college-educated whites. He won well-educated Madison county by a margin of 57-40. A center of the aerospace industry, the county voted for Trump by a margin of 55-38 in 2016.”

    I’ll take this win.

    avatar
    ktfran
    Participant

    You can definitely have a conversation. Also, go ahead and insert yourself a little more! It’s ok! Ask people open ended questions. Ask to play a game. Or go for a walk with your boyfriend.

    If you want to have a conversation about being left out, you could say something like “I feel a little left out at family gatherings. I’m shy (or whatever) and have a hard time joining in on the conversations. Could you help me out a little?”

    avatar
    ktfran
    Participant

    Oh my god, DO NOT stake your claim and embarrass the 18 year old sister just to prove some kind of point. What would that accomplish exactly? A fight between you and your boyfriend. All of his family wondering what was wrong with you. And a hurt sister who will likely never warm up to you. Geesh.

    I do find her sitting on his lap a little odd. I think it would be ok to ask your boyfriend about it. Find out how affectionate his family truly is, or if she is acting a little jealous. If it’s the former, you can certainly decide you aren’t comfortable and MOA. If it’s the later, you and your boyfriend can talk about boundaries to set and ways to get his sister to relax a little bit.

    A few years ago, a youngish coworker mentioned to me and our boss that she and her married brother (who was a year or so older than her) would sleep in the same bed on family weekends if his wife wasn’t there. I thought that was super weird and a little uncomfortable. But really, who was I to judge? They apparently had a closer family than I grew up with. Anyway. Good luck!

    in reply to: Engagement part or wedding? #729001
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    ktfran
    Participant

    I’ve been to one engagement party, and it was pretty much like you described @spaceysteph. In lieu of a shower, or titling an event a CoEd shower, my cousin and her fiance had an “engagement party.” It was in the evening. There were no games. There was food and wine and beer. They were getting married at a winery, so they had wines from that place and people could vote on their favorite… and the winners were what were served at the wedding.

    Anyway, I’m pretty sure not every bridesmaid and groomsmen was there.

    I personally think it can be done appropriately, but I do think it’s tacky to have tons of wedding “events.” Choose what’s most important and limit it!

    My vote is still to choose the wedding.

    in reply to: Engagement part or wedding? #728940
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    ktfran
    Participant

    However, if you’d prefer to go to your friend’s event and if your fiancé is ok with it, that’d be fine. I suspect that’s not the case since you’re writing on here.

    in reply to: Engagement part or wedding? #728939
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    ktfran
    Participant

    I disagree. If you had a prior engagement, especially another wedding, you should attend. Go with your fiancé. It’s not like you’re flaking on your friend. She should understand and if she doesn’t, shame on her.

    If it were that important her that you attend all wedding events, she would have run dates by you.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #728756
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    ktfran
    Participant

    We didn’t have anyone stand up with us either.

    I hate posed looks, so we hired a photographer that kind of hung back and followed us and took candid photos of our wedding celebration. My favorite photo, and the only one I want framed, is when walking across the street on Michigan Ave. in Chicago, my dress got caught on my shoe and the husband had to help me out of it. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION! The photographer took a brilliant shot!

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 2 days ago by avatar ktfran.
    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #728744
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    ktfran
    Participant

    I should have noted, you only have to do those events if you want to. We didn’t have engagement photos because I personally have no use for them. I know others feel differently. I didn’t have a bridal shower, but I did have a bachelorette. AND IT WAS FUN! We went to cocktail classes at a fancy schmancy speakeasy. The husband didn’t have a bachelor party. We didn’t have an engagement party. We didn’t even have a typical, traditional wedding!

    Anyway, my point is, you can do as little or as much as you and your fiance want!

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #728730
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    ktfran
    Participant

    That’s so pretty! I think some kind of belt or sash would look really pretty.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #728722
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    ktfran
    Participant

    @thehizzy, for $112, I’d totally buy it. Since it’s so inexpensive, if it doesn’t fit exactly right you could take it to a good seamstress. Or, if it’s not “wedding dress” enough for you, you can use it as a party dress for one of your wedding events!

    @missdre, your mom is so cute. Don’t fill silly! Well, maybe a little silly. Buy hey, to each their own. You would have regretted not buying it and then consistently thinking about it and then maybe not finding something quite like it for that price when you are engaged.

    Congrats on your first show being a success @LadyE!

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