Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Getaway, a Success

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Here’s a picture of where Drew and I spent a wonderful, relaxing 46 hours this weekend. Just 75 miles or so north of Manhattan (I’d call it “upstate,” but people who really live upstate would probably laugh), this serene spot is home to an old Victorian mansion-turned inn, a spa, a farm, and a delicious restaurant. The food there was off the hook and I ended up gaining back the four+ pounds I’d lost over the last couple of weeks. All we did was eat and sleep and lounge around; it was awesome.

If you have small kids and have never gone away without them, I highly recommend doing so. I felt a little guilty, especially when I heard that Jackson was crying out, “Mommy! Mommy!” every time he came home from being outside and about and realized I was still gone (oh, the guilt!), and Drew thought it was especially hard to leave him behind. But it was worth it. It’s worth it to have a day or two to enjoy your partner’s company without the distraction of a kid who needs endless attention. It’s worth it to just shut off the parent-side of you a little bit and escape in your own daydreams or a good book (I started reading Life After Life, which I’m really enjoying), a whole entire newspaper, and an entire meal in which you do not have to pick up food that fell out of your child’s mouth all over the floor.

I will say, though, that we were so… what’s the word, wound-up, like two people who hadn’t been out in public in years and had forgotten how to behave like civilized people, that our waiter actually advised us to slow down and chill the fuck out (well, he didn’t say “fuck,” but he may as well have the way he was looking at us like we were barnyard animals). It was our second night at the restaurant. The first night, I was so excited to just be out of the city and have two whole days to relax and stuff my face, that I could not eat fast enough. It was like, the faster I ate, the more fun I could stuff into my weekend. So I was just shoveling food in my face like I hadn’t eaten in weeks. I ate so much, so quickly, that I literally had to leave the restaurant before we paid and go lie down, leaving Drew alone to finish his meal. I mean, one minute, I was all, “Oh my god, this steak, these potatoes, this bread! This margarita! NOM NOM NOM.” And then next minute, I was clutching my stomach, unable to sit upright a second longer or I was going to explode. And then I ran out of the restaurant like a maniac and fell face-first on the bed where I passed out until Drew woke me up 15 minutes later to take out my contacts. So much for a romantic evening.

The next night, after a relaxing day walking the grounds, and sitting in the sauna, and taking naps and a long, warm bubble bath, I was a little more together, but our dinner waiter — the same waiter we’d had the evening before — still felt the need to advise me — both of us, actually — to relax, slow down, and you know, chew our food. It was good advice, too. I even managed to finish dinner and dessert without planting my face in my food.

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Here are a couple photos of Drew and me on our second night, after a whole day of doing nothing, celebrating seven years together. If you squint, you can even still see traces of those crazy kids we were the night we met. People probably wanted to advise us to slow down then, too, but I’m glad we did it our own way.

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And just for fun, here’s a new favorite of Jackson, taken while we were away. See? He survived, and he looks like he’s even having a pretty good time. Despite being scarred for life because his mommy wasn’t home when he got back. The guilt!

31 comments… add one
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle May 6, 2013, 12:18 pm

    So pretty, Wendy! (& where did you end up going, again? I think you mentioned it somewhere else, but I forgot)

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle May 6, 2013, 12:19 pm

      Oh, & I love that detail about Drew waking you up so you could take out your contact lenses. That’s love 🙂

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy May 6, 2013, 12:22 pm

      An inn in Milton, NY.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster May 8, 2013, 1:02 pm

        Oh Milton is a cute little town! But I didn’t know you could take a train there; I didn’t think it went that far up! Though, no, Milton is NOT upstate. Haha. Not even close. But I do that whole “upstate” thing too. I’ve been known to refer to Yonkers as upstate. If I have to get on Metro North and go, ya know, NORTH, I’m going upstate in my mind!

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    lemongrass May 6, 2013, 12:20 pm

    That looks beautiful! I already look forward to going away without E although I don’t see that happening for at least a year. Right now I’m just enjoying that he is asleep by 7pm and that gives my husband and I some time to just be a couple and not parents. It is so nice to reconnect like that. And after several weeks of bad nights (you called it, Wendy) he is back to his old schedule of 2-3 night wakings and things are going good again. Couple time and time alone have never been so important.

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    lets_be_honest May 6, 2013, 12:28 pm

    I love this Wendy, and am so glad you enjoyed the weekend and didn’t regret it. I’ve only spent 1 night away from my kid ever, and the calls filled with crying killed me. This was when she was 6 I think. Teaching them early on that you will come back if you leave is so great. I wish I had done that (but I never really had the money or purpose to leave her overnight when she was little).

    Anyway, you’ve inspired me! My sisters are visiting my brother out in San Francisco this summer and have been hounding me to join them. My summer is pretty filled up with trips already, and I hate paying for summer camp that she’s missing a week of (its over $3k, crazy right?!). So after your open thread this weekend, I asked her how she would feel about staying with grandpa for a couple nights while I went to visit my siblings. The idea of them all being together and me missing out sucks. She was cool with it, so I’m thinking about booking a solo trip for a couple nights. I can’t even imagine how weird it’ll be, or how amazingly fun it’ll be. It is far though, so now I just have to get myself cool with it.

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      lets_be_honest May 6, 2013, 12:31 pm

      Also, that picture of Jackson just makes me want to hug/squeeze him. So cute!

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        lets_be_honest May 6, 2013, 12:34 pm

        ps Peter had the big bachelor party weekend away this past weekend. He was supposed to be away til Sunday afternoon and surprised me Saturday night by coming home early. Said he didn’t like being away from us for too long. Made me think of your weekend away.

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        GatorGirl May 6, 2013, 12:39 pm

        That is too cute.

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        lets_be_honest May 6, 2013, 12:43 pm

        He was pretty funny about it. I tried not to call or text him so he could just have fun and not worry about replying to me, but when he got home he was sad that I ‘just forgot about him and went on with my life.’ Lol. You can’t win. At least we both had a nice night away from each other.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle May 6, 2013, 12:55 pm

        Haha aw, that is adorable

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      • FireStar

        FireStar May 6, 2013, 2:00 pm

        It really is adorable.

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      bethany May 6, 2013, 12:46 pm

      Do it!! One day she’s going to leave your house forever, so it’s good to get some practice being away from her.

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        lets_be_honest May 6, 2013, 12:49 pm

        Jeez bathany. Just scare me to death why don’t you?! I’ve already told her she’s not allowed to go to college or ever leave home. I purchased a lovely padded cage in the event she attempts to leave.

        You’re so right though. It doesn’t upset her finally, but I really need to ease into it. God I sound seriously co-dependent on my kid right now. Eek. I think this SF trip is a perfect time for me to just do it. We were there last year, so I won’t be thinking about how much she would’ve loved to have seen X, since she already has.

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        lets_be_honest May 6, 2013, 12:51 pm

        For the record, I spend plenty of time away from her. I work full time, and go out with friends plenty…just so we don’t sound like the most co-dependent family ever.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom May 6, 2013, 3:13 pm

        She’s hitting the age where all of the birthday parties become sleepovers and she’ll get lots of experience being away overnight and she’ll love it. My daughter spent Saturday night at a birthday party sleepover and she’ll do it again in two weeks! We love getting the break.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy May 6, 2013, 1:52 pm

      Do it!!

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  • Classic

    Classic May 6, 2013, 12:32 pm

    This is wonderful! I’m so happy that you had such a nice weekend. I love when you post photos, and these are great!!

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    bethany May 6, 2013, 12:39 pm

    Wendy, you have perfected the closed mouth smile! I can’t smile like that for the life of me. I look like an idiot. Anyway, I”m so glad you had a great weekend!

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    GatorGirl May 6, 2013, 12:41 pm

    I love that y’all had such a great weekend! You look so calm.

    We spent Sunday re-charging and re-connecting. We’ve both been so so busy lately and are about to spend a week apart (and then a month apart), so we slept in, cuddled extra long, just lounged around with no tv on. It was great. Then the cat escaped outside in the dark, fun stuff. (We found him.)

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  • Just Max

    Just Max May 6, 2013, 12:53 pm

    Love this!
    You guys rock. 🙂

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    kerrycontrary May 6, 2013, 1:11 pm

    I’m glad you had such a great time! My boyfriend and I were discussing this in vacay this past week and we decided we’re doing vacations sans kids until they are potty trained. Unfortunately, it rained or was overcast for 6 of the 7 days of our vacation!Oh well, we were forced to disconnect (no cell phones or tv) and we read a ton. Plus we didn’t kill each other after being together 24/7 for 7 days, so I think that’s a success.

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    Boosker May 6, 2013, 12:48 pm

    My parents never went away together until my sister and I were pretty old, like older elementary school age. I remember thinking at the time, “Geez, that’s lame. What took you so long?” While my mother, on the other hand, was worried we’d spontaneously combust if she and my dad spent more than a dinner away from us. My mom was an amazing parent, but it makes me a little sad looking back to see how much she allowed us to take from her. I know there’s a lot I’ll want to emulate when it comes to her parenting style, but not allowing myself to have any time outside of motherhood (either for spending time with my husband, my friends, or just plain myself) is not something I’m interested in.

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      savannah May 6, 2013, 1:16 pm

      My mother was the exact opposite while still very supportive and loving. We were twins and (apparently) therefore everyone in my parents community offered to take us for a few afternoons and nights here and there from the we were newborns. They even left us in the hospital one night when we were 3 days old to go out for Indian! (my mother justifies this by saying we were left in the most competent hands ever/shout out to nurse appreciation week!) She could never understand or sympathize with moms who waited years to leave their kids with someone else for one night and then felt that it was really hard. 26 years later, you can still see this in my parents marriage. While they like the three of us kids alright (i mean a ton) they still have the most fun with each other and its good too cause that’s whose around now. I worry I wont be like her though and that I’ll be more of a clingy mom, all my friends who have babies are and I can see the appeal both ways.

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  • LK7889

    LK7889 May 6, 2013, 1:51 pm

    You deserved a nice peaceful weekend Wendy. I’m glad it was a success! 🙂

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  • FireStar

    FireStar May 6, 2013, 2:09 pm

    I am already planning a trip for when the baby will be about six months old and I was telling my mom we have to pack up all the baby gear when we go (such a change since we always travel light) and she was all confused why we would take the baby on vacation. Wasn’t the point to relax? So looks like the baby will stay with granny for the week. I feel if I do it from jump it won’t be such a big deal later on? And since my mom lives with us it won’t be such a shock to the baby? Wishful thinking?

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      MissDre May 6, 2013, 2:34 pm

      I’m so excited for you!!!

      Are you going back home for some pineapple?

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      • FireStar

        Firestar May 6, 2013, 4:42 pm

        No – my mom goes home regularly to keep me stocked with real pineapple. My husband doesn’t have a burning desire to go back. And I’ve been so many times…maybe when the little one is older we’ll go back and show her her roots!

        We are thinking either Hawaii or Spain. This year we didn’t get our regular two vacations since I had doctor appointments during the time we normally go in February and in September I’ll have a brand new newborn so this year’s vacation is just going to be long weekend in Charlotte over May 2-4. So for next February we want to go somewhere nice and relaxing – with good food!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy May 6, 2013, 2:42 pm

      Smart thinking! Definitely start early. Drew had trouble this time, but when I told him that we’re teaching Jackson that when mom and dad leave, they come back, he felt better about it. This is a good lesson for a small child to learn.

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      • FireStar

        Firestar May 6, 2013, 4:47 pm

        I hope it works out as nicely as I’ve planned it. I agree with you – it’s a good lesson to learn and I think it helps with overall confidence.
        But there is always that thing about the best laid schemes of mice and men….

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    Jillie z May 6, 2013, 5:10 pm

    That picture is so beautiful it looks like a painting! Glad you had a wonderful time, and I know tons of my parent friends could use a little couples time away, just to reconnect. I’m glad you enjoyed and didn’t guilt trip yourself too much! The pic of Jackson is adorbs, btw!

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