Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

Hey, did you know tomorrow is Valentine’s Day? It is! And those of you who hate it I hope appreciate that I didn’t make a big deal about it this week with listicles and gift guides and cutesy this and thats, but I can’t not mention it at all, so: Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! I happen to like the day because I like love in all its forms and incarnations: romantic love, platonic love, familial love, pet love, neighborly love, the love I feel for a perfectly cooked cheeseburger (hmmm, cheeseburger; I think I just decided what we’re ordering ). I’ve had my share of unhappy Valentine’s Days, sure — those times in middle school when all the other girls got piles of candy grams and the only one I ever got was either from my mom or like the student council who sent one to everyone. And then in college when I lived in a dorm my freshman and sophomore years and the front desk would be FULL of flowers and candy and gifts delivered for residents and there was never anything for me. And then there was the year I had just broken up with my live-in boyfriend of four years and was lonely and sad and decided to freelance for the day at the flower shop I’d worked at the two years prior and it was a madhouse, of course, and rather than distract me, it just made me sadder and lonelier and I went home so exhausted and I ordered Chinese food (or was it Thai?) and watched TV and cried.

So, I know unhappy Valentine’s Days, but I’ve also known plenty of good ones, too, and not just when I’m in a relationship. (That seems to help though I’ve had a few less-than-stellar ones when I’ve had a boyfriend, too). I wish I could go back and tell the me of lonelier times to use the day as an excuse to express love to all the people I cared about and to spend time with friends and make dinner plans with other single pals and not put so much importance on the day and set expectations for more casual relationships that couldn’t be met. I can’t, so I’ll just tell you if you need to hear it: If the day makes you sad, shake it off. Do something nice for yourself. Do something nice for someone else. It’s a Saturday, so, if you have the day off, fill it with the things that make you happy.

It’s going to be, like, zero degrees here and snowing, so we will be spending our Saturday Valentine’s Day indoors. We have good friends coming over in the morning and then I don’t know what we’ll do in the afternoon. Maybe watch a movie or something. (Ooh, that reminds me: We took Jackson to his first movie in a theater last weekend — it was part of the kids’ film festival in Brooklyn — and he loved it and can’t wait to see another movie, so that gives us one more indoor activity we can do with him, which is great because these winter days with a restless 3-year-old are llloooonnngggg). Jack and I are going to make brownies and cookies this afternoon for Drew, which was supposed to be a surprise, but, of course, after I made the mistake of mentioning this plan to him (because I’m an idiot), the second Drew walked in the door, he said, “Daddy! Daddy! I thought Mommy and I could make brownies and cookies for you! I thought you could share! It’s a surprise!”

The song I posted above, “That’s How Strong My Love Is,” is “our song.” Otis Redding sings it, and Otis was a name I was considering if we were having a boy instead of a girl. I also like Owen a lot, too. And I like Blake and some others, but there wasn’t one that really felt right, so it’s a good thing we’re having a girl because there are tons of girl names I love. (We’re pretty settled on one already though).

Anyhoo, I babble. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. I hope you are lucky enough to spend some of it with someone you love. xoxo

49 comments… add one
  • Amanda

    Amanda February 13, 2015, 4:20 pm

    Okay. I have to share. I am SO excited for tomorrow. Cary Elwes wrote a book about the filming of The Princess Bride and my mom and I are going to his book signing tomorrow!!!

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    • Lyra

      Lyra February 13, 2015, 6:42 pm

      <3 Princess Bride. I'm half tempted to ask our officiant if he can do the "maw-wiage" speech at our ceremony…

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      • othy

        othy February 13, 2015, 7:22 pm

        I have been to more than one ceremony where they did this.

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      • Portia

        Portia February 14, 2015, 9:25 am

        Really? That’s awesome. I think if we did this, half the people would be giggling uncontrollably, half would be confused/mortified.

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      • othy

        othy February 14, 2015, 7:32 pm

        I do have really nerdy friends. It seems that if you continue with “Luv, tuw luv”, the maw-wiage part becomes less uncomfortable/confusing.

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      • Portia

        Portia February 15, 2015, 3:46 pm

        True. And it wouldn’t just be friends giggling, my dad loves Princess Bride, but his laugh is one of those booming ones and I think no one would be able to hear. Hm, maybe I should rethink this… Also, I really want someone to do a toast with the quote from the rabbi (aka Mel Brooks) in Robin Hood Men in Tights about drinking all the sacramental wine.

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      • Portia

        Portia February 14, 2015, 9:25 am

        Now I want to do that too! 😉

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      • Pamplemousse Rose

        Pamplemousse Rose February 14, 2015, 3:34 pm

        We did a bunch of movie/TV nods during our ceremony. I walked down the aisle to the instrumental version of the theme from Firefly, when we were signing the register we played Storybook Love (from the Princess Bride) and we walked out to the Throne Room (end of StarWars). Our reading was the passage about Real Love from the Velveteen Rabbit. <3

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      • Portia

        Portia February 15, 2015, 3:56 pm

        Hm, I like this idea of the non-traditional places to look for readings, thanks!

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  • honeybeenicki

    honeybeenicki February 13, 2015, 4:29 pm

    Happy Valentine’s Day to those of you who do the Valentine’s Day thing. We decided awhile ago that we have no need to do anything with Valentine’s Day really, but we are going to have a nice meal with the kids, so that’s something? We’re having lasagna (mmmmm) and a pineapple dump cake (mix 20 oz crushed pineapple and the juice it comes in with 1 box of angel food cake mix until its frothy, pour into greased cake pan, bake at 350 for 30 minutes and voila, its delicious!). So there’s that. But we don’t do cards or candy or flowers or anything like that anymore. The way my husband puts it is that he shows me he loves me every day of the year so there’s no need to buy overpriced stuff that I don’t need/want on a day that doesn’t matter to either of us.

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray February 13, 2015, 4:30 pm

    What I love most about Valentine’s Day (and Easter, for that matter, and Halloween) is buying up all the discounted candy the next day. Have Valentine’s Day, all! 😉

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy February 13, 2015, 4:33 pm

      I sure like that part, too.

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    • honeybeenicki

      honeybeenicki February 13, 2015, 4:41 pm

      Half price candy days are the best.

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    • Portia

      Portia February 14, 2015, 9:27 am

      I always get the half-priced chocolate too.

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      MsMisery February 16, 2015, 1:33 pm

      This. Have you seen the Russell Stover strawberry/chocolate hearts in CVS? The filling is this strawberry marshmallow concoction (at least in part real strawberry because seeds) and a chocolate shell, heart shaped. I am obsessed.

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  • avatar

    ktfran February 13, 2015, 4:34 pm

    I actually think my best V-day’s were spent with my cousin after I moved to Chicago. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her and we proceeded to make a tradition out of ordering Homemade Pizza Co, including a salad and their wonderfully huge cookie, picking up a couple bottles of wine and watching bad TV and dancing in her apartment. It was quite magical.
    .
    This year, I’m day drinking with friends. Then I’ll probably head home, order food and curl up on my couch.
    .
    Tonight, I’m kind of excited, as soon as I leave work in about 20, I’m going shopping at a few store on Michigan Avenue and Oak Street for my Santa Barbara trip. Then I’m going to stop at a swanky bar for a glass of wine. It’s ok to do that by myself, right? RIGHT?
    .
    Anyway, happy v-day to all and to all a goodnight.

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny February 14, 2015, 12:03 am

      Your shopping/wine outing sounds fun! I <3 Chicago!

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  • avatar

    K February 13, 2015, 4:42 pm

    My boyfriend and I are going to the Finger Lakes! We’ve been in need of a getaway, and it was just our one year anniversary/V-day/President’s Day/his b-day is in a little over a week, so it seemed like a good time to do it. We rented a little house and The HIGH on Sunday is going to be -2, but we will be visiting wineries for some wine tasting, and hopefully staying warm! I went to college in that area and always am excited to return. My best ever V-day (aside from last year when my boyfriend and I had just started dating, and it was the first day we had sex!), was in college when my housemates who were single and I all cooked dinner together, I think it was baked ziti, and hung out and drank and had a good time.

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  • FireStar

    FireStar February 13, 2015, 5:22 pm

    We had a seafood, oysters and wine (well me anyway) dinner last weekend as an early valentines day dinner so we don’t get rushed and nothing is crowded. We don’t do anything for the day though. I think one of my husbands favourite married moments was when I told him we don’t have to do anything for valentines day anymore. Tonight we are just taking my SIL out for dinner. Her boyfriend sucks right now. Other than that we just have a play date with a one year old my 18 month old daughter thinks is her baby. It’s stupid cute watching her take the food I give to her and feed the baby and hold her sippy cup for her. Of course part of it is avoiding eating but at least she doesn’t waste it. I don’t know about nature vs nurture for everyone but this baby has had a definite nature from jump. Yesterday baby and daddy dressed up in their matching camo onesies they got for Christmas – is it wrong that that was the best thing I saw all week?

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    • Lyra

      Lyra February 13, 2015, 6:46 pm

      Oh, why does your SIL’s boyfriend suck right now? Those type of situations always stink so much. 🙁

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      • FireStar

        FireStar February 13, 2015, 10:31 pm

        She thought they wanted the same things and were on the same track (after having spoken about it repeatedly) over the last five years but all of a sudden living together is too much of a commitment (but not having kids apparently – he’s still game for that). So he wasted the last five years of her life and wants to waste some more. And these are keys years for her since she wants kids. I had an ex tell me once the worst thing someone could do in a relationship was waste your time. Maybe not the worst but you can’t get that time back or the opportunities you missed because you were with the wrong guy.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra February 14, 2015, 10:10 am

        That’s hard. 🙁 I hope she pulls out of it. As we all know from DW, the worst thing you can do is stay just because you love the person even though there are obvious differences that won’t change.

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  • avatar

    Jane63 February 13, 2015, 6:12 pm

    I’m single and my grand daughter is with her mom this weekend so I have 3 days, 3 days, to do nothing! Who ever thought to piggy back President’s day weekend onto Valentine’s is a genius! Pure genius. Sleeping in, movies, & take out are on my agenda. No one to answer to, no one to attend to – my kind of long weekend. Happy Valentine’s Day to all. Hope you enjoy the day and your long weekend if you are lucky enough to get one. I am and I do. Yes! Oh, and thank you all of the Presidents. Without you this weekend would not be the same;).

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  • Lyra

    Lyra February 13, 2015, 7:03 pm

    I’m not a super big fan of V-Day. I think it stemmed from this HORRIBLE V-Day in middle school (ugh, 7th grade was so bad!!) when a frenemy told me to go check at the office to see if there were any carnations for me sent by other people — knowing full well there weren’t any for me. I was soooo embarrassed and turned a beet red when asking the secretary if I had any and she checked and no one had sent any carnations. The secretary felt bad, so she gave me one where the stem was busted. Ugh, SO BAD. I hated middle school so much. Which reminds me, maybe I should make some belated valentines for my kiddos to hand out next week. They need to know how much I care about them.
    .
    Anyway…my news is that NG paid off my ring!!! I’m so excited that it is all mine!!! 🙂 Yay! Wedding plans are falling together. Next big thing is flowers, so post V-Day I’ll have to set up an appointment with a potential florist. We’re not doing anything big this weekend, I’m just making dinner tomorrow and he has to work. I’m getting over a cold anyway so I’m totally ok with that. Last year we drank tequila and made ridiculously over-the-top heart sugar cookies. We might do that again, because tequila!

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    • Lyra

      Lyra February 13, 2015, 7:56 pm

      Oh, and WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING on Sunday!!!!!!! Eeeeeee!!!!

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      • Portia

        Portia February 14, 2015, 9:32 am

        Have fun! What do you put your odds at for finding the dress on the first trip?
        .
        I think I’m knitting my dress, which on the scale of awesome idea to absolutely insane idea is more the latter… But I’m almost done with the top, so we’ll see what happens (and I think I’ll have a back-up idea just in case).

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      • Lyra

        Lyra February 14, 2015, 10:08 am

        I have one that I REALLY like that I found online. It fits the bill for what I’m looking for and is absolutely gorgeous. I’m keeping my options open, but if that one looks as good as I think it will (I know the style is flattering on my body type), I think I would probably get that one. And it’s on sale this weekend! 🙂

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      • Portia

        Portia February 14, 2015, 11:27 am

        Nice, I love a good deal. And good luck, I hope it works out!

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      • Lyra

        Lyra February 14, 2015, 11:31 am

        Thanks! I showed my maid of honor and my mom and both LOVED it, so we’ll see. 🙂

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      • Lyra

        Lyra February 15, 2015, 10:11 pm

        GUYS I GOT A DRESS.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra February 15, 2015, 10:11 pm

        OMG I’M FREAKING OUT. IT’S SO GORGEOUS.

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny February 14, 2015, 12:01 am

    I have… zero plans for tomorrow. It’s Saturday for me. Sunday, I’m meeting up with my old work friend to catch up and have lunch, then I’m going to see the documentary “Ballet 422” about the choreographing of a new ballet for the NYC Ballet.
    BUT! Today, I GOT A RAISE! So, that’s better than any valentine-ey thing, to me. Hooray!!
    .
    Also, I have this crush on a guy who works at my gym… and I have no idea how to get past exchanging pleasantries while exchanging decent eye contact and smiles with each other. (When he isn’t, you know, distracted by actual working.) Hrmmmm…

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      McLovin February 14, 2015, 12:26 am

      A raise? That’s awesome. Did you do the thing yet where you try to figure out what to do with the extra money? A vacation? Savings? Maybe some new clothes? Or, what about a pet monkey! Like the little ones, at the zoo, that look so freaking cute? I don’t know.

      But hey, way to get a raise on a Friday!

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny February 14, 2015, 1:56 am

        Hey, thanks McLovin! And not just a Friday, but Friday the 13th!
        I have, actually, figured out how much extra per paycheck it will be- it’s not super huge (6.8%, so pretty decent I think), but it’s definitely going to help. At this point, I’m focusing on paying off my credit card and building my savings, so that’s where it’ll go. However, I’ve got 2 trips planned to visit friends (April to Oregon, June to Colorado/Utah) so I will now have a little buffer and more spending money for them! 🙂

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      • avatar

        McLovin February 14, 2015, 2:30 am

        Smart. I like that you combined savings with fun too.

        April in Oregon can be dicey, weather-wise. What do you have planned so far? I think you’re from S.F.? So a little rain won’t bother you. But, it’s so hard to plan outdoor things until late June, sometimes July. I throw a big party in my backyard every year in early July just to be safe.

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny February 14, 2015, 9:54 pm

        I am in SF! I’m going to spend a long weekend (friday night-monday morning) with my 2 friends in Medford. I’m not sure how the weather will be, but my friend has suggested going to Crater Lake which I’m into. (I’ve been before, but when I was like 10.) He also suggested driving to the coast, which I’ve never done. We’ll see, I’ll be checking the weather ahead of time! And it’s been so dry here that I am happy to see rain. 🙂
        .
        And I agree- it’s so hard to plan things when the weather can go many different ways- I tell people that summer doesn’t really start til August/September around here!

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      • avatar

        McLovin February 15, 2015, 12:27 am

        Medford is a fun place to visit. And in April you’ll probably see snow before rain!
        If you like pizza, and who in their right mind doesn’t, then try Abby’s pizza while you’re in Medford. I’m sure your friends know where it is. It’s amazing!

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  • mylaray

    mylaray February 14, 2015, 1:00 am

    Tomorrow I have a burlesque performance and we’re doing a Valentine’s show so my husband and a few friends are coming. Then we’re going to Waffle House because they are doing a v-day thing with white tablecloths, a candlelit dinner, and fake bubbly. Just the kind of quirky and low key night I need 🙂

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny February 14, 2015, 1:58 am

      Burlesque is something I’ve always wanted to try! It looks so fun. Plus I love the vintagey- ness of it. 🙂

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  • avatar

    shakeourtree February 14, 2015, 9:32 am

    Tonight, I’m taking my boy out for a candlelit, reservation-only dinner at…Waffle House. Boy loves Waffle House so much that he had his 30th birthday dinner there, so he almost flipped when I told him about the special Valentine’s thing. Now I’ve got to go get ready for a job interview and will spend the rest of the day hanging out with my best friend before my boyfriend gets off work.

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  • Portia

    Portia February 14, 2015, 11:36 am

    We started off Valentines Day by getting bagels and doing our taxes, and tonight the plan is Indian take-out. Such romantics…

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    • Lyra

      Lyra February 14, 2015, 12:12 pm

      Bagels are great! I’m considering making some this weekend.

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  • Dear Wendy

    Dear Wendy February 14, 2015, 2:22 pm

    Well, here’s someone who’s having a terrible Valentine’s Day: at like 4 AM this morning, Drew and I (and probably jackson) were awakened by a man screaming outside our window (we’re unclear if he was in a nearby apartment or outside on the street). He was yelling at someone: “I’ll fucking yell as long as it takes for you to realize we’re fucking meant for each other! I don’t care about your fucking neighbors! I’m not even from Brooklyn! I’m from California! I’m a fucking surfer from California and I fucking hate Brooklyn and all your fucking neighbors!” And it went on for about five minutes and then all of a sudden, it just stopped, as quickly as it started. Haven’t heard a peep since then, but I’m guessing he and whoever he was yelling at are having a terrible Valentine’s Day.

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    • othy

      othy February 14, 2015, 7:34 pm

      No, she finally realized they were meant for each other, so they’re happily together now. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have stopped yelling.
      .
      I’m glad I don’t live in a big city.

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny February 14, 2015, 10:00 pm

      I am so sorry that happened at *4am*!
      A similar thing happened to me outside my apartment- a man was yelling at the top of his lungs at like, 1am for maybe 5-10 minutes. When I looked out the window, he was across the street, yelling… at nobody. And nothing he said made any sense (that I could understand). He was homeless, so it wasn’t a surprise to me, in my neighborhood. He kept walking along, and eventually I couldn’t hear him anymore.

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  • Pamplemousse Rose

    Pamplemousse Rose February 14, 2015, 4:27 pm

    We are spending one more weekend getting our house ready and then we are listing it this week! It’s bittersweet because I love our house, but it isn’t big enough for our family (as our daughter gets bigger and we hopefully have another).
    *
    A couple of nights ago we went to a wine/cheese tasting where we were both blindfolded at first and I could only try the cheese, he could only try the wine and we had to figure out the pairings by talking about them. It was really fun!! And then we bought lots of cheese. 🙂 Tonight we are going to the hockey game where our favourite teams are playing eachother (I cheer for the home team). I’m looking forward to having a burger and beer at the game and I’m sure we will get heckled in our opposing jerseys.

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  • Lianne

    Lianne February 15, 2015, 4:25 pm

    I hate snow. It’s seriously not funny anymore.

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      d2 February 15, 2015, 8:36 pm

      I was thinking about you guys this weekend – so much snow in such a short period of time. It must be particularly bad in the city with no place to put it all.

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    MsMisery February 16, 2015, 1:35 pm

    I was more excited about Friday this 13th than Valentine’s. There are three this year!! EXTRA CREEPY.

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