Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

1000

[frozen niagra falls image, via]

Happy, happy Friday! The theme of the week, at least for those of us in the Midwest and on the East Coast, has been COLD. Like, extreme mother-fucking cold. Pardon my language, but this is the kind of weather that calls for it. When I woke up this morning, it was a feel-like temp of -18 outside. Our pipes froze for a second time this week and we had no hot water all morning. But, though it’s cold outside, it’s hot, hot, hot here on DW. This was a record-breaking week in terms of pageviews (well over 200,000) and forum comments. If you haven’t checked it out yet, well, you’ve got some reading material for the weekend. I’m especially impressed that this thread has surpassed 85 pages, well over 1000 comments, and more than 53,000 pageviews this week. And I’m even more impressed with the variety of topics covered: #cinnamonrolls, #whores && #dickchoking, babies and pregnancy, death and funerals, and Addie Pray’s 5 AM trip to the office in her PJs. There’s really something for everyone. I’m also enjoying this thread in which we’re sharing advice for a young woman turning 22 on Monday. (Do you have any words of wisdom to share? If you’re older, what would you tell your younger self if you could?).

Anyhoo, what are you up to this weekend? We have blessedly few plans, so I am going to do some more closet organization because I really know how to have a good time. (It’s smart though: I figure if I get all this boring stuff out of the way that I have to do before the baby comes, then it’ll be mostly done when spring comes and I can enjoy the nice weather without feeling stressed about everything I have to do at home to get ready for our new arrival). Saturday afternoon we’re going to a good-bye party for a neighborhood family we like a lot who is moving to Maine in a few days, and on Sunday evening we’re having a few friends over to watch the Oscars. Any predictions on who will win?

45 comments… add one
  • honeybeenicki

    honeybeenicki February 20, 2015, 4:17 pm

    I think with this cold a few f-bombs are in order. Luckily (knock on wood) my pipes haven’t frozen at all. I pay $25 to belong to our repairman’s “club” where I won’t have to pay dispatch or overtime fees if they do freeze, so it probably won’t happen now that I could afford to cover it.
    .
    This weekend is SUPER DUPER exciting for me. First of all, we’re going to Roller Derby tomorrow night. My husband’s coworker is on one of our teams and I LOVE derby. I want to play, but since I were trying to get pregnant I didn’t want to join (even the recreational league) just to end up quitting when I did get pregnant.
    .
    Ok, so I didn’t lead with what I’m most excited about. We’re getting a 3D Ultrasound done tomorrow. First, because its cool looking and secondly because I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to know what we’re having. I want a boy, he wants a girl, my mom is still holding out hope that there’s a 2nd one hiding in there. So by 1pm tomorrow I should know if we’re getting a new son or daughter!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy February 20, 2015, 4:21 pm

      Yay, exciting! I’m having my anatomy scan done next week (with a 3-d image, as well, I think), which is when we’d find out the sex if we didn’t already find out early with genetic testing. I’m still excited to get another peek at the baby though. It’s such a special thing. Enjoy! And keep us posted!

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki February 20, 2015, 4:39 pm

        Good thing you reminded me because I have to call and schedule my anatomy scan. The one we’re doing tomorrow is out of pocket and is just because I’m so impatient. Plus if the baby doesn’t cooperate so we could find out the sex, I’ll have at least two more chances (anatomy scan and if they can’t tell you at the 3D place you get a free session).
        .
        I had a midwife appointment yesterday and they were running REALLY far behind (over an hour) and it turned out it was because my midwife had 4 people with miscarriages come in a row so I freaked out. She was really cool though and before we discussed anything else, we listened to the baby’s heartbeat just to make me feel better (usually they do it closer to the end of the appointment). Plus they gave us each a $5 gift card to Subway for waiting and right now I eat Subway about 4-5 times a week because the baby seems to really want it.

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      • Pamplemousse Rose

        Pamplemousse Rose February 21, 2015, 7:11 pm

        Did you find out if it’s a boy or a girl?

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki February 23, 2015, 10:20 am

        Sure did 🙂 It’s a boy!

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  • coconot

    coconot February 20, 2015, 4:43 pm

    F!*$ was my response to the winter cold this morning too 🙂 I am also planning some closet organization this weekend, but not bc I’m having a baby, just because I’ve bought too much new stuff recently… I guess that’s the good thing about living in a tiny, tiny apartment: you are forced to cull your junk fairly frequently.
    .
    I’m also considering going to the Chinese New Year’s parade on Sunday with some friends if it is not too cold. I know from experience that it gets super crowded though, so maybe all of the body heat will make up for the freezing temps?

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy February 20, 2015, 5:08 pm

      Sunday is actually supposed to get up to 47 degrees here in NYC, but it’s going to rain (the upside though is the parade probably won’t be very crowded; just bring an umbrella and you’ll be fine).

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  • avatar

    Girlchrisesq February 20, 2015, 4:53 pm

    Long-time lurker, new infrequent commenter. I’m going to see an Opera, The Ghosts of Versailles, this weekend. It’ll be my first time experiencing an Opera! I’m excited! But question, do people still dress up for the Opera? I’ve been both to the theater and symphony recently, and while most of the older people will dress up, there were also people there in jeans and t-shirts. I definitely won’t be going in jeans, but I guess a pencil skirt and cardigan can’t hurt. Seems like a good in-between.

    Also, after reviewing probably about half of the posts (read pages 1-36, then restarted around page 65) on the epic thread, I’m seriously wondering if the LW was a troll. There towards the end it really seemed like she was enjoying the back and forth.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy February 20, 2015, 5:10 pm

      She was definitely enjoying the attention and the back and forth, but she wasn’t a troll. A millennial maybe, but not a troll…

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    • Lyra

      Lyra February 20, 2015, 7:01 pm

      I am a classical musician and I highly highly HIGHLY recommend dressing up for the opera. It is still an expectation. I kind of hate how people get so lax with dress codes these days.

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny February 20, 2015, 9:12 pm

      Yes! Dress up!! I don’t go to the opera much (2x) but I do go to the ballet (at least, more often than opera!) and I love getting the opportunity to dress up. Nothing crazy, just a dress and nice shoes, or skirt and sweater. It feels more special that way, to me anyway. 🙂

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      • Pamplemousse Rose

        Pamplemousse Rose February 21, 2015, 12:02 pm

        I agree to dressing up! Because of a certain famous rodeo in my city, a lot of people think it gives them license to not dress up for things like theatre, opera (even black tie events!) etc. I love dressing up for things like that. We are going to the theatre at the end of March for my husband’s birthday and I’m really looking forward to wearing a nice dress (and not being concerned if I can breastfeed in my outfit!)

        I know I sound snobby about the black tie thing, but if you get an invite to an event and it says black tie (not even optional) I think showing up in jeans/button down/blazer is a bit much – at least wear a dark suit.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra February 21, 2015, 2:51 pm

        Totally agree. I think overall many people don’t adhere to dress codes when they should.

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  • avatar

    Ella_ February 20, 2015, 5:13 pm

    I am OVER winter at this point. We have had so many “extreme cold weather alerts” in my city so far and it’s not supposed to let up anytime soon. I am dying to just get outside and do something instead of being stuck inside all the time because it is way below freezing! And, even though I love staying in and making dinner and watching movies, I am looking forward to some spring and summer date activities!

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  • Lianne

    Lianne February 20, 2015, 5:39 pm

    I am so f*&%ing over winter, too. I was in Atlanta for work last week and it was 60 degrees. Had to come back this week and it’s down to low 20s with flurries. I was trying to escape that shit in Boston!!
    I have a mellow weekend, which is fine by me because I am exhausted from all the travel I have been doing for my new job. At the end of next week, I will have traveled 5 weeks in a row and participated in 7 in-person client meetings. I am so. done.

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  • thewriteway

    thewriteway February 20, 2015, 5:43 pm

    I haven’t been here in a very very long time (Wendy’s pregnancy announcement brought me back!), so I have a lot to say but I don’t want to write a novel here, so I’ll probably just touch on the important stuff:

    -I have been job searching for about eight months. My field which was once my dream and I wanted nothing more than to stay in has started making me miserable, right down to a bout of depression and burnout. I completed therapy a couple weeks ago and my counselor said I seemed to be making good progress. If anything, therapy empowered me to think about the future and showed me it’s OK to consider other things and realize that yes, I can do something else and the world won’t crumble. I’m still dealing with “change is scary!” feelings and nervousness about thinking of more education or going to a new company, but I am thinking about new fields and how I can get some skills. And I figure if my mom is going back to school at 53 to finish her degree, then I can probably change some things too and the world won’t end.

    -I have a separate savings account that I don’t touch to put away money for moving expenses. I thought it might be too challenging to mix moving money with regular savings because I tend to withdraw from my savings account when I need extra cash for payday, so setting up a totally separate account made sense for me. I plan on starting to sell some things soon because once I was sorting out a collection of things, I realized I’m not all that attached to some pieces. Granted, there are some things I will never, ever get rid of, but otherwise I really see how I just have all this “stuff.”

    -I am slowly getting to know some new people, particularly through my yoga studio. I haven’t had much time to make group fitness classes at my gym because of my work schedule, so yoga is a lot more schedule-friendly at the moment. I’m still feeling sad that I can’t socialize more because of work (I work every weekend) and I still miss some things, and it’s hitting me how much I really am missing being at work every Saturday and Sunday, which is part of what’s leading me to a job/career change. My commitment to my field isn’t what it once was and with the work I do, you are either in it for the long run or you’re not. There is no in between because of how competitive the industry is. One of my mentors emphasized this point to me, and I decided I was better off trying to do something else. But I am also talking to a couple of available guys, one on OKCupid and one in person, so I am getting socialization practice between that and yoga. I just want to take things up a notch.

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny February 20, 2015, 9:16 pm

      I remember your posts earlier, and I’m glad things are moving in a new direction for you!
      Making change is hard, especially when you’ve been in one “place” for awhile. But momentum is good, it’ll slowly build and things will hopefully change for the better!

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  • avatar

    Kate February 20, 2015, 6:02 pm

    Tomorrow night I’m going to a party called “Just Dance.” Gotta get there by 10 bc I’m not standing outside for a second!

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark February 20, 2015, 6:38 pm

    East Coasters, Mid-westerners… I feel your pain. So much so that in solidarity I jumped into the unheated pool at where I am house sitting to escape what must be 80 degree California heat… I think the water was like only 60 or so degrees. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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    • othy

      othy February 20, 2015, 8:57 pm

      We got down to highs in the low 50s this week. It’s freezing!

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny February 20, 2015, 9:16 pm

      It was a lovely 72 degrees today, I almost broke a sweat!

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      • avatar

        d2 February 20, 2015, 9:57 pm

        I broke a sweat today! Oh, wait, that was while I was shoveling snow…

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    • avatar

      Sunshine Brite February 21, 2015, 11:58 am

      OMG come on BMG! Do you have a guest room perhaps?

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  • Lyra

    Lyra February 20, 2015, 7:12 pm

    So I stopped into the bridal shop to order my dress today…and wowza. I stopped in around 2:15 because I didn’t think it would be busy…boy was I wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. The poor lady who was helping me got like 5 phone calls in the middle of my transaction, and there were about a dozen bridezilla brides in there at once. I felt bad for the employees. AND THEN my check didn’t go through, for reasons that we couldn’t figure out. Our debit card for that account hasn’t arrived yet so I’m stuck writing checks. 🙁 I had written a different check this past weekend that went through at the shop so I’m not sure what exactly was going down…but it took like 30 minutes to figure it out, and even then we didn’t have any answers. Finally I just put it on my credit card to be paid off by the wedding fund. UGH. Not to mention the other brides were insanely particular…one got her flower girl dresses in (3 FLOWER GIRLS holy cow)…and the sashes weren’t the exact shade that she wanted so she threw a fit. Which in a way I can understand, but be polite about it people. It was actually pretty funny because the employees were surprised when I told them I’m a bride because I was holding my cool so well. A manager asked “what’s the bride’s last name?” and I told them “my last name is _____” and she was taken aback because apparently I wasn’t acting like a crazy bride ha.

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny February 20, 2015, 9:17 pm

      Stuff like that makes me eye roll so hard…

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    • Portia

      Portia February 20, 2015, 9:55 pm

      I’ve been avoiding bridal stores like the plague. But I’m visiting my mom next week (sister’s coming too) and I know they’re going to want to go shopping. Just the description of the craziness of that bridal shop is making me anxious…

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      • Lyra

        Lyra February 20, 2015, 10:31 pm

        Go on a Sunday if possible! I avoided Saturdays when I getting an appointment to try dresses on. I had awesome service and there were only maybe 2-3 other brides in there at once, and none of the crazies that I saw today. Plus my consultant was amazing. I wouldn’t have stopped in the store to order but I was driving right past it today so it made sense. Wasn’t expecting quite so many people to be there in the early afternoon!
        .
        There was another bride today who had bought this veil that was waaaay over the top. Like chapel train on the veil. Plus it had all this lace and sparkly stuff. Plus she was buying all the extra “Bride” clothing all over the store — the tiny satin robe, the sweatshirt with the “I Do” rhinestones on the back, the “Bride” sweatpants, the “Team Bride” t-shirts…all crap that ultimately you will wear maybe once but then throw it in the back of your closet. It was entertaining.

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      • Portia

        Portia February 21, 2015, 1:37 pm

        We’re going to have some weekdays during the day, so I think those stores would be even more dead then.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy February 21, 2015, 6:41 am

        I never stepped foot in a bridal shop when I was engaged. I managed to avoid all the crazy bridezilla/ wedding weirdness and I highly recommend that!

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      • Lyra

        Lyra February 21, 2015, 11:10 am

        I was considering ordering a dress online, but I really wanted the experience of trying on different dresses in the salon. The process was really fun, and there weren’t any bridezillas around when I was trying them on. I love my choice, and wouldn’t have chosen it if I hadn’t made an appointment to try dresses on!

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      • Portia

        Portia February 21, 2015, 2:04 pm

        That reminds me, I got one online but didn’t like it and need to return it (and I only bought it because I knew I could return it easily).
        .
        PS I got some awesome blue sport weight yarn today in the mail and am so excited to knit with it! 🙂 Wool-cotton mix, and it’s pretty soft.

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      • Portia

        Portia February 21, 2015, 1:34 pm

        I want to avoid it, we’ll see if I can survive a week with my mom and sister and follow through with that. They’re both the type that want to do that. Plus, did I mention I’m knitting part or all of my dress? I basically finished the top by now, so I don’t need to buy a dress.

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      • othy

        othy February 21, 2015, 2:19 pm

        I went on a midweek afternoon with my mom (I was on a vacation to visit her, and was off all week anyway). That really helped avoid the craziness!

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    • avatar

      Sunshine Brite February 21, 2015, 10:34 am

      I’m not patient enough, I would’ve had that on my card the second it didn’t go through haha. Stuff like that is why I’m glad I have a flex schedule, I can do all my appts on weekdays and just absorb it into the work week.

      I had 3 flower girls! 3 nieces within 3 years of one another and 1 ring bearer, the nephew.

      We decided against having Mr. Ginger’s nieces and nephews join in since they’re teens & early 20s lol. 2 are married now and one’s engaged.

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  • Pamplemousse Rose

    Pamplemousse Rose February 20, 2015, 8:41 pm

    We sold our house this week! The first people who came to look at it bought it, which means we are now in house hunting mode… I looked at a place this morning and my husband is going to come see it tomorrow. It’s a cute house and I love the location but it would also mean sacrificing some space (home office/craft room) so I’m not quite sure what we will do…
    Tomorrow we are also going to go with my husband’s office to take a bollywood dance lesson as a team building activity. I’m sure I will make an uncoordinated fool of myself, but so will most of us so that’s okay 🙂

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    • avatar

      d2 February 20, 2015, 9:49 pm

      Wow, that’s great news on selling the house so quickly! It’s so much better when your house sells quickly, because now you have control to move on to the next phase of your life.

      I have a friend who has been trying to sell for over a year, and she feels a bit powerless right now because her life is on hold until somebody/anybody buys her house.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra February 20, 2015, 10:36 pm

        Could your friend rent her house out? I know there are a lot of rental companies now where they take care of the landlord stuff for you — maintenance requests, collecting rent, etc. — for a nominal fee. She might get more people interested that way, plus she might make a bit of a profit on it!

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        d2 February 21, 2015, 8:46 am

        I think the rental thing is her best option as you suggest. For whatever reason, she has been reluctant to do that. I think she is going to make a big drop in the asking price and, if it still doesn’t sell, go the rental route.

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      • Pamplemousse Rose

        Pamplemousse Rose February 21, 2015, 12:11 pm

        There are lots of things to think about if you are going to rent out your place and move – do you have enough for a downpayment without the equity from your house? Is the rental market good enough to cover the costs of keeping the property (mortgage, property tax, insurance, maintenance)? If it’s not can you afford to absorb the gap between rent and carrying the property? Can you afford the tax implications (yes you can write off interest, maintenance etc, buy you do have to claim the rent as income)? Do tenancy laws favour the landlord or the tenant (ie. how difficult is it to remove a bad tenant?) Not saying it’s bad idea, because I’ve done it and it’s worked out well so far, but just some things for your friend to consider.

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      • Pamplemousse Rose

        Pamplemousse Rose February 21, 2015, 12:14 pm

        Oh and it will likely be even harder to sell after being occupied by a tenant for a while – the majority of renters just don’t care for a place that well. My husband is currently selling his rental property (in another city from where we live) and the place shows terribly because the tenants are really sloppy, they have a lot of stuff and they don’t clean up very well for showings. It might be hard to get them out before the place sells and when/if it sells, they get 90 days notice to move.

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      • Portia

        Portia February 21, 2015, 1:24 pm

        Yeah, there are a ton of things to consider in renting out the place you own. My parents rented their house after trying to sell and getting nowhere near what they wanted. They don’t have a rental company but have gotten to know the tenants very well and they take care of it pretty well, plus all my parents’ people (housekeeper, lawn person, etc.) that are effectively friends of the family are keeping up the house. And they still know plenty of the neighbors, so if anything were happening, they’d know in a minute. Plus, you need to know what the law says about tenant’s rights in your area. In DC, for instance, tenant laws are very strong and if you want to put a place you’re renting out on the market, the common practice is to pay off your renters (thousands of dollars usually) so they’ll give up their right to buy it and will move out. I think DC is more the exception, but it was something I didn’t realize until it happened to a friend.

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        Sunshine Brite February 21, 2015, 12:00 pm

        I know one person who rented through one of those companies and the homeowner thankfully took back over control after a year and was a great landlord in comparison to that company. They wouldn’t take care of anything as well as the homeowner.

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      • Pamplemousse Rose

        Pamplemousse Rose February 20, 2015, 11:42 pm

        Thanks! We feel pretty lucky. Our house was one of the least expensive in our neighbourhood, which has gotten fairly pricy in the last couple of years, so that definitely helped.

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    • Pamplemousse Rose

      Pamplemousse Rose February 21, 2015, 7:16 pm

      You guys we made an offer on that house! I’m really excited – my husband loved it and I can already see our kid(s) there. We are now in that nail-biting stage waiting to see when they get back to us. The house has been on the market for over 80 days, so hopefully they are anxious to sell. Cross your fingers for me!

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny February 20, 2015, 9:20 pm

    Not many plans for me this weekend, but the weather is supposed to be nice (sorry guys!). I’ll hopefully do some yard work and work on some sewing. (crazy times at my house, clearly!)
    I also have decided that I’m going to jump back into taking dance classes, so I am going to go check out a dance store to buy a new leotard(s) and tights. *Hopefully* I will find something that I like!

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