Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

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(My mom and me, circa 1977, on my first birthday. My mom always made the best cakes and threw the most fun birthday parties. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!).

Hey, there’s another Wedding Week for the books! Thanks to everyone who wrote in, posted in the forums, and commented on columns and threads. Hopefully we helped a few people have happier wedding experiences . . . or at least deal with the drama a little better.

Anyway, as I’m writing this, it’s Friday morning and I would usually be taking Jackson to preschool, but he has a terrible cough and runny nose from allergies and I didn’t want to subject his teachers and classmates to all that, so it’s going to be a Mommy and Jackson day all day today. And I was up all night with various issues, from indigestion to feeling too hot to regular old insomnia, and, when I finally did fall asleep for a few minutes around 3 AM, Miles jumped on my face, all 24 pounds of him, leaving a trail of blood on my forehead that dried in a perfect big dipper constellation pattern, so that’s fun.

Sunday is Mother’s Day, as you know, and I have requested an egg sandwich in bed and a couple hours of peace and quiet. I will also be thinking of my own mom and wishing her a lovely day, and I’ll be sending warm wishes to all you other moms (and moms-to-be!) out there and everyone for whom Mother’s Day isn’t the happiest of occasions, from those who have lost their mothers or are estranged from them to those women who have lost children or whose desired paths to motherhood haven’t come easily. To all the rest of you, I hope you have a wonderful May weekend and get to spend at least some of it with people you like doing stuff you enjoy. Like drinking margaritas if you have any sense.

62 comments… add one
  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray May 8, 2015, 3:18 pm

    Happy Mother’s Day to Wendy, Wendy’s Mom, and all you other moms. Wait, does a mom-to-be get to celebrate? Really? Because I can support that! And it didn’t dawn on me until now.
    *
    You guys, my doorman called, someone delivered flowers – to me! ME! Who could it be? A secret admirer (who has a thing for pregnant ladies – are there such people?!? That would be great)? Someone who realized that Mother’s Day is for expecting moms too, even though it slipped my mind? My mother who kind of feels sorry for me? A wrong delivery? I can’t wrap up this day and get out of here fast enough. Who could it be, who could it be? I should call the doorman back. The suspense is killing me. I never get flowers!! And I love flowers! Especially when delivered to work so my work crush can think I’m desired by someone. But this will do!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray May 8, 2015, 3:25 pm

      Flowers, you guys!

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      • veritek33

        veritek33 May 8, 2015, 3:38 pm

        who were they from?? is the mystery solved?

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki May 8, 2015, 3:41 pm

        Right? We need to know!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray May 8, 2015, 3:47 pm

        I’m sure it’s my mom. Who else would it be? Cue the pity music. Hahaha.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray May 8, 2015, 3:46 pm

        i’m still at work! Egad.

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki May 8, 2015, 3:55 pm

        Well, leave right this minute. Its important!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray May 8, 2015, 4:29 pm

        It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right? Just gotta finish a document and then i’m gonna run home. Whoever sent it, thank you, thank you – the joy over the last hour of knowing someone thought to surprise me has put me over the moon, even if it’s Ma. Plus it’s Friday! Plus JK has arrived in the USA and will be at my place on Wednesday. Plus the secretary down the hall just gave me half a cake! Life is good. I’m so happy!!!!!

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      • avatar

        Anonymous May 8, 2015, 5:43 pm

        Update: they’re from my “baby bump and Moose”! 🙂
        Adorable

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh May 8, 2015, 5:59 pm

        awww! moose is so good with the cell phone! i guess he’s forgiven you for the bad haircut 😉

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        snoopy128 May 8, 2015, 8:51 pm

        Aww, who knew Moosey would walk across the hardwood floors just to get to the computer to order flowers!

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    • honeybeenicki

      honeybeenicki May 8, 2015, 3:41 pm

      My husband insists that moms-to-be get to celebrate. He used to try to do something every year for me from the bonus kids, but the Sunday after Mother’s Day is Step-Mother’s Day so I told him we’d celebrate then. But this year he is insisting on doing something. I still don’t know what, but I’m taking my mom to brunch on Sunday and then to a play so that’ll be cool. And we’re going to roller derby tomorrow night (my husband and I, not my mom). So it’ll be a long weekend.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom May 8, 2015, 7:44 pm

        Happy Mother’s Day honeybeenicki!

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom May 8, 2015, 4:02 pm

      Happy Mother’s Day Addie Pray!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray May 8, 2015, 4:30 pm

        Thanks! It feels very weird to be wished a happy mother’s day – i like it!

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    • sobriquet

      sobriquet May 8, 2015, 4:11 pm

      My husband will be doing something for me on Mother’s Day, even though I’m not technically a mother yet! Well, I’m a mother of a fetus, I guess. A mother host, if you will. He just told me that he hopes that I sleep in on Sunday morning because he has something planned. I just want a mimosa and pancakes. A really weak, low-alcohol mimosa, but a mimosa nonetheless!

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom May 8, 2015, 7:44 pm

        Happy Mother’s Day sobriquet!

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      Anonymous May 8, 2015, 8:59 pm

      My in-laws gave me mother’s day gifts last year when all I had was a fetus. My husband got me a nice card too, maybe flowers too, I can’t really remember. I thought it was kinda silly because I wasn’t a mother yet. But they insisted that I was already taking care of the baby, and deserved something.

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  • avatar

    Sandy May 8, 2015, 3:20 pm

    I would happily drink a margarita if it didn’t cause my ears to hurt. I’ll settle for sparkling wine. Happy Mother’s Day! I’l be gorging myself at Brunch with family, friends and my boyfriend.

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  • avatar

    Kate May 8, 2015, 5:59 pm

    I’m having my *major birthday* party tomorrow night in a hotel suite. I’m getting a hairdo in the afternoon, then meeting my 3 favorite ladies, including Lianne, at the hotel to set up and get ready and then have dinner before people show up. I just made syringe Jell-O shots, and I have a cake and snacks and lots of champagne. And margaritas, obvs. And Red Bull and pills. And then whatever happens, happens. I’m trying to have no expectations, but I do hope it gets ridiculous.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy May 8, 2015, 6:38 pm

      Fun! Have a great time, and happy birthday!!

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        Kate May 8, 2015, 7:11 pm

        Thanks!

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      Anonymous May 8, 2015, 6:42 pm

      “Pills” like Advil?…

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny May 8, 2015, 7:07 pm

        Ibuprofen?

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      • avatar

        Kate May 8, 2015, 7:13 pm

        I should bring those too, for Sunday morning.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray May 8, 2015, 7:13 pm

        Gummy multi vitamins?

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny May 8, 2015, 7:17 pm

        That totally has to be it. I like the sour gummies myself.

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    • Portia

      Portia May 9, 2015, 3:20 pm

      Happy birthday! Have so much fun!!! Which outfit did you end up going with?

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        Kate May 10, 2015, 12:38 pm

        Thanks! The black feather dress.

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    • avatar

      Anonymous May 10, 2015, 7:56 am

      Well, Security came at about 11:30 and cleared out the suite. I remember a bunch of us hiding in the bathroom, but they waited until we all left. So we went downstairs and occupied the lounge area outside the bar, which was fun until the bar stopped serving at 12 or so. So some people went to a bar across the street and some of us went back upstairs and tried to stay really quiet but security came again and told us to keep it down. At that point we were just out of our minds and ridiculous.

      .
      Prior to all that, it was a happening party. The suite is bigger than my apartment and very fancy with crazy views, and two bathrooms. We filled the tub with ice for all the beer and champagne and stuff, and we had the syringe Jell-O shots in a bucket. Those were a hit! We had a bar set up in the foyer. Someone brought chocolate strawberries and another dude brought about 100 chicken mcnuggets and fries. Then we had cake.

      .

      We need to clean this place up and get out of here. One really stupid obvious thing I forgot was garbage bags. Otherwise, with some planning and strategizing and tipping of a bellman to bring your booze up, it’s not hard to have a hotel party. But you will get busted at some point. I’m surprised it took as long as it did.

      .
      My friends are amazing.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy May 10, 2015, 7:59 am

        Sounds fun! I can’t believe you are awake and coherent this early (did you even sleep yet?). Happy birthday!!

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        Kate May 10, 2015, 8:47 am

        Thank you!! I went to bed at 3 and woke up at 6. We ordered room service and are now cleaning up and recalling all the crazy shit that went down.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray May 10, 2015, 11:59 am

        Tell us about the crazy shit!

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      • avatar

        Kate May 10, 2015, 12:25 pm

        Oh, like everyone popping pills, one of our friends bringing his “new girlfriend” who it turns out is married and he’s actually been dating a year, people with, ahem, a history, hooking up, the wasted chick that no one wanted to deal with, the bust, and some really good mockery.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray May 10, 2015, 3:26 pm

        What a night! Meanwhile, I fell asleep last night around 9pm to Gilmore Girls reruns. You’re winning!

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      • muchachaenlaventana

        muchachaenlaventana May 10, 2015, 8:59 pm

        falling asleep to Gilmore girls reruns is like my ritual and I wouldn’t have it any other way

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      • Lianne

        Lianne May 11, 2015, 8:31 am

        The party was epic!! Kate’s husband posted a pic on FB of she and I standing on their bed, Kate doubled over laughing, and me holding a bottle of champagne in one hand, and a champagne flute in the other, addressing the room. I totally don’t remember that part of the night. I was in a major recovery zone all day yesterday.

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny May 8, 2015, 6:02 pm

    Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms! My mom told me she doesn’t want to do anything. My dad gets home from visiting his terminally ill aunt and chronically ill uncle in NM tomorrow, and she just doesn’t want to make any plans. Ok then! But I’ll get her a card and flowers anyway, not to mention I’ll be hanging out with her.
    .
    Tomorrow, I’m going to see my trainer compete in a bodybuilding contest. Yep. I’ve never been to one, and he’s been working hard at it, and is a sweet guy, so I want to cheer for him. I have no idea what to expect, so it’ll be interesting! Also, hot gym dude (who is not my trainer, but is his friend) will be there too. Which makes me slightly nervous, because I’m not exactly sure what’s going on between us if anything. The date last sunday was fun (update for you Lyra!), 5.5 hours of basically eating and talking (mostly talking), and I came away feeling good about it. But, I can’t tell if I’ve been friendzoned, or if he’s just standoffish, or what. (I’m probably overthinking it, just because we have not made any plans to go out again, nor has he acted any differently.) I’m going to let him know I’ll be at the competition, just so it’s not weird that I randomly show up.

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    • Lyra

      Lyra May 8, 2015, 6:16 pm

      Oooo, was waiting for an update!! Hopefully you and hot gym guy have another date. 🙂

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny May 8, 2015, 7:08 pm

        Me too… I can’t quite get a good read on him though. I don’t want to be pushy, but I also don’t want to have the wrong idea either… Argh!

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  • Lyra

    Lyra May 8, 2015, 6:19 pm

    I would just LOVE to have an extra 8 hours in every day. That would be awesome. Too much to do, too little time to do it.

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      Sunshine Brite May 9, 2015, 8:07 am

      Then you’d find another 10 hours of stuff to do if you did 🙂

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      • Lyra

        Lyra May 9, 2015, 8:35 am

        That’s true! I’d settle for an extra 2-3 hours… 🙂 There’s so much stuff going on this month, it’s insane.

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      • Portia

        Portia May 9, 2015, 11:11 am

        Lol, yeah, I’m with you. Although I’d probably just use the extra hours to sleep.

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    • Lyra

      Lyra May 9, 2015, 4:54 pm

      NG graduated today!! one big item crossed off the 2015 bucket list! 😀

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom May 10, 2015, 9:29 am

        Congratulations to NG!

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh May 8, 2015, 6:44 pm

    We’re having a ‘Tropical Storm’ this weekend. Which so far seems like it’s just going to rain a lot. I plan on meal prepping, catching up on the dvr and trying to convince the dogs they want to go outside long enough to go to the bathroom…..And of course calling my mom and grandmother!

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  • Portia

    Portia May 8, 2015, 7:35 pm

    Aww Wendy, that’s such a beautiful picture!
    .
    Happy Mother’s Day to all! I had the very cool experience of watching a bunch of WW2 bombers fly over the National Mall today. I’m hoping for a relaxing weekend, as my parents are coming to town next week. Time to start cleaning this place up a bit…

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  • avatar

    snoopy128 May 8, 2015, 8:53 pm

    I decided to surprise my mom with a smoothie bar: http://sugarandcharm.com/2015/05/create-your-own-smoothie-with-silk.html

    She loooves smoothies, so I will make 5 different coloured smoothies while she is out on Saturday and then surprise her Sunday morning. It will also be the gift that keeps on giving because there will be tonnes of leftover smoothies for the rest of the week! Win Win.

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    • Portia

      Portia May 8, 2015, 9:32 pm

      Mmm smoothies… That smoothie bar thing looks amazing.

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        snoopy128 May 9, 2015, 5:44 pm

        I made 5 flavours similar to the ones on the webpage today. Now I have to find a way to keep them hidden from her until tomorrow morning.
        Most recipes made a bit more than my containers can hold so I got to taste-test lots 🙂

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      • Portia

        Portia May 10, 2015, 1:42 pm

        If you happen to have popsicle molds, I read somewhere you can just freeze smoothies and make real fruit popsicles. That was my plan for this weekend, but I didn’t like the fruit selection at the grocery store.

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  • Lady_Red

    Red_Lady May 8, 2015, 9:07 pm

    This’ll be my first mother’s day! I’m doing what I’ve done the last several years and taking my mom out to the Mariners game, but this year we’ll be bringing a baby! My husband wants to let me sleep in, but I feel like it’s not worth it because I’d still have to get up and pump. And feeding the kid is much nicer than pumping (and more effective, I think). But I’ll definitely take him up on sleeping in next year!

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  • avatar

    shakeourtree May 10, 2015, 8:16 am

    I graduated from law school yesterday. I’m so relieved it’s finally over! I have a few weeks before I have to really buckle down and start studying for the bar. I don’t even know what to do with myself!

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  • othy

    othy May 10, 2015, 12:10 pm

    Ran a dinosaur themed half marathon yesterday and set a new personal record! And despite the threatening rain, it only rained for about a mile, and not enough to soak me. Afterwards, we visited dinosaur national monument, which has this awesome old quarry of dinosaur bones that they just left exposed in the rock face, and built a visitors center over top of. It’s pretty cool to see.
    .
    Drove back home in pouring rain and sleet and eventually snow. But I got home in time to do dinner with Othello’s family for their Mother’s Day celebration. And I got to hold my week and a half old niece 🙂

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    jlyfsh May 10, 2015, 9:24 pm

    I just got to meet Ika and her family in person! She is awesome. Her kids are adorable and her husband seems very sweet! They get to meet my dogs tomorrow! I’m just beyond excited to meet someone I have texted daily for two years in person.
    .
    Wendy, I can’t thank you enough for providing the platform that gave me two amazing friendships. Not a single day goes by that I don’t text or message these women at least once a day. They’ve helped me through real lows and equal highs. I am so lucky to call them both friends and I wouldn’t have met them without your site. And I can’t explain how surreal and awesome it is to get to hug Ika! And talk to her beside me! Now if only everyone was in one place! 🙂

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy May 11, 2015, 5:40 am

      Awww, I really love this!! I was part of a message board back in the late 90s/early 2000s where I met a good long distance friend I communicated with every day (and eventually met in person several times). She, too, helped me through some lows and highs (we’re still in touch over 15 years later, btw). Part of my motivation for starting this site was to provide a platform for women to connect and support each other in that same way, so it really means a lot to hear stories like this. Hope Ika and her family have a wonderful visit to the states!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray May 11, 2015, 11:39 am

      What jlyfsh said!

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    MsMisery May 11, 2015, 11:29 am

    Wow, Miles is a bruiser! Also kind of a jerk, but so are most cats. Mine wakes me up almost every night sometime between midnight and 4am yodeling out in the hallway. I’ve almost broken him of his need to clang around in the blinds at night (after 10 yrs)…

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