Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

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Brooklyn is all abuzz — well, at least our home is — over the first winter storm of the season that we’re expecting tomorrow. I think it’s ridiculous when New Yorkers freak out over the promise of snow and stand in 3-hour lines at Trader Joe’s and Fairway as if every bodega on every corner won’t have toilet paper and milk and bread, but I did stock up on essentials this morning simply because we happened to be out of those things and I’d be shopping anyway, regardless of what weather was coming our way. And I’ll probably make a quick trip to the liquor store later to stock up on tequila and whisky and bubbly because the bodegas won’t have that stuff and to risk running out and not being able to get to the wine store around the corner while stuck inside with a restless 4-year-old and a teething baby is not something I want to mess with. (I doubt we’re going to get enough snow to shut down the liquor stores, but one should never be unprepared for such an occasion.)

Jackson can’t wait to wear his “Snow Big Deal” shirt and build a snowman and drink hot cocoa with mini marshmallows. And he doesn’t know it yet, but I bought a cool sled for him early last month, since his sled from last season broke, and it’s been hiding under the bed waiting for the perfect day to make its big debut. I foresee a snowy trip or two to Prospect Park this weekend for slides down the hill. And if we can enjoy some quiet time at home in between, I hope to finish my new book, When Breath Becomes Air, the beautifully written memoir by the young neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi, who published two moving essays in the New York Times about facing his terminal cancer diagnosis, before he died last March at the age of 37.

Besides books and booze and snow, this weekend also marks a big milestone: Dear Wendy turns five on Sunday! I published the very first post on January 24th, 2011, and it’s been an honor and a privilege and such a thrill to watch the site and the community grow into what it is today. It wouldn’t be what it is without you, of course, and your support, as always, means so much. Thank you to those who lurk quietly and to those who comment prolifically. Thank you to you who share your own stories and narratives and offer advice and guidance to others. Thank you to my mom for copy-editing and to the rest of my family for their general cheerleading. Thanks to those of you who send in Friday links and like DW on Facebook and click through my Amazon affiliate link before you shop and turn off your ad blockers on DW and donate to help support the site. Thank you to those who send me letters asking for advice and to those who update afterward. And thank you to my brand new volunteer forum moderator, a longtime reader of the site (who shall remain anonymous), who has an eagle-eye and a fierce determination to keep the forums as troll-free as possible. Every one of you helps make DW more than just a blog; you help make it a community. And for that, I am very grateful.

Have a wonderful weekend!

38 comments… add one
  • avatar

    RedRoverRedRover January 22, 2016, 4:08 pm

    Congrats on the anniversary! And it seems like the site has been picking up lately, based on all the new people in the forums and some comments you’ve made. Great job!!! 🙂 And thanks for being here!

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  • honeybeenicki

    honeybeenicki January 22, 2016, 4:09 pm

    Happy birthday DW!
    I hope Jackson gets to use his new sled. I hate winter and snow and cold. But now that we have the kid, I think I’ll have to suck it up here and there. We have an amazing sledding hill at a park that’s a 10 minute walk (or 2 minute drive) from our house and I look forward to taking him sledding next year.

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover January 22, 2016, 4:21 pm

      Speaking of sledding, does anyone know of a good sled that an adult can ride with a toddler? We have a good toboggan hill right across the street, but my son’s not even 3 yet and the hill is pretty steep. Plus there are a lot of bigger kids. It’s not going to be safe for him to go alone, so I want one that my husband can ride with my son in front.

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki January 22, 2016, 4:44 pm

        When I was younger we had those long sleds that you could have an adult sit on with their legs straight out and the kid would sit between their legs.

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        RedRoverRedRover January 22, 2016, 4:50 pm

        Yeah, we had those too, the aluminum kind. We could fit all five of us kids on there. 🙂 My parents might even still have it! I wonder if it would be too long for just my husband and son though? Although we’re having our second in May, and she’ll be too young next winter but the following winter all four of us could climb aboard. Maybe it’s worth looking into!

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  • avatar

    ktfran January 22, 2016, 4:10 pm

    Happy, happy 5th year! That’s amazing.

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  • gigi

    gigi January 22, 2016, 4:11 pm

    Thank you Wendy for all you do. I found DW probably about 5-6 months after you began, after my husband walked out on our family. I was looking for support somewhere – anywhere! I was mostly just a lurker for a long time, but it helped to read about other peoples problems & things they were going through.

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh January 22, 2016, 4:13 pm

    Five years! Crazy. It is so funny to me to read those first letters and see how my perspective has changed in that time. The most unexpected thing commenting here has given me is new friendships!

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  • avatar

    shakeourtree January 22, 2016, 4:15 pm

    The storm has already started where I live, and since we are Southerners and have no idea how to handle snow and ice, the whole state just basically shut down. It’s mostly ice here, but my mom texted me a pic from her house this morning, and it’s straight-up blizzard conditions in the mountains. I don’t drive in the snow, so I did the obligatory Trader Joe’s run last night and stocked up on food and wine…mostly wine. I think the biggest challenge ahead of me this weekend will be not strangling my roommate. I’ve already won the thermostat battle. I guess those three years of law school weren’t for nothing.

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  • avatar

    MissDre January 22, 2016, 4:20 pm

    Wow, can’t believe it’s been 5 years…. And I’m still reading every single day!! So happy I have DW 🙂

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  • othy

    othy January 22, 2016, 4:28 pm

    Happy birthday DW! Thank you for keeping me from being super bored at work 🙂

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  • avatar

    anonymousse January 22, 2016, 4:39 pm

    Happy birthday DW! We have so much snow here in Park City, UT. And Uber helicopters circling overhead for the elite Sundance attendees.

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    • othy

      othy January 23, 2016, 3:23 am

      I’m braving Sundance for the first time in Sunday. I’ve lived in SLC for years and I’ve never made it up there. Doing a happy hour with some fellow alum from my school, and I figured I’d go up a couple of hours early to try and spot some celebs.

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      • avatar

        anonymousse January 23, 2016, 9:42 am

        A friend of mine saw Jeffrey Tambor!
        I’m jealous.
        Have fun!

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      • othy

        othy January 23, 2016, 2:42 pm

        In my last job, I spent a lot of time shuttle people to and from the airport. I loved going during Sundance because it was an excuse to spot celebrities. I saw Molly Shannon and I was very excited.

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  • mandalee

    mandalee January 22, 2016, 4:44 pm

    Happy 5 year anniversary Wendy! I found this site at such a weird twenty something crisis time in my life (moving to a new city, friend drama, changing careers), and I remember loving the community and advice so much. I was a casual commenter back in the day and am mostly a lurker these days thanks to nursing school owning my life and the fact that my school has deemed this site “adult content” lol but I still read everyday.

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny January 22, 2016, 4:58 pm

    Happy anniversary DW! I can’t believe it’s been 5 years- wasn’t it just recently 2012?!
    I was in a snowstorm once in NYC- My friends and I went out walking one night after it stopped snowing for awhile (our first night) and the streets were so empty and quiet. And we had a snow fight. So fun. Then we went back to the hostel to discover there was no power or heat, and no hot water the next morning. Out here it’s supposed to rain all weekend, which means snow in the mountains! My concept of snow revolves around the mountains and skiing/snowboarding, and driving with chains. Which is totally different from everyone in urban areas just trying to get home from work. I hope everyone stays safe and has enough food and drinks to make it through the weekend!

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  • Stonegypsy

    Stonegypsy January 22, 2016, 5:10 pm

    Wow, happy anniversary DW! I found this site totally by accident, sometime around 2011, while idly searching google for my own name. This community has gotten me through some extremely confusing and difficult times.
    Stay safe and warm during the storm, Easterners!

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  • veritek33

    veritek33 January 22, 2016, 5:19 pm

    Happy birthday DW 🙂

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  • avatar

    Miss MJ January 22, 2016, 5:24 pm

    Ah, Wendy – a woman after my own heart. I give zero fucks about running out of milk and bread during a storm (usually tropical, not snow, but still), but JFC if you run out of booze, then it’s a disaster!

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    • avatar

      Miss MJ January 22, 2016, 5:25 pm

      Also, I can’t believe it’s been 5 years!

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  • Lianne

    Lianne January 22, 2016, 5:31 pm

    Aw happy 5 year anniversary, Wendy! I’ve been here since day 1 and love this little community! It’s such a wonderful place and I’m happy to be a small part of it.
    .
    I hope the snow isn’t so bad in New York. For those in the DC area good luck! I’m hoping the snow fall in the Boston area is minimal, especially since I don’t have wine to get me through this year.

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  • avatar

    Rangerchic January 22, 2016, 5:39 pm

    5 years!! Awesome 🙂
    .
    I’ve been reading since then and though I don’t comment much I have loved reading about all the changes many of the commenters share…babies, marriages, love, loss, and everything in-between!
    .
    It is supposed to be nearly 60 degrees tomorrow where I live so I’m going to get outside and soak up the warmth and sun. Hope everyone can stay warm and dry in the East!

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    girltuesday January 22, 2016, 6:33 pm

    Happy birthday, DW and thanks for everything, Wendy. Stay safe out there, East Coasters.

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    Lissa January 22, 2016, 8:13 pm

    Congrats on 5 years from a (mostly) lurker! 🙂 I followed you from the frisky oh-so-long ago and have actually stopped reading things over there, but you’re still on my morning rotation. Thanks so much for staying with us!

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  • avatar

    stickelet January 22, 2016, 8:22 pm

    Happy Birthday Wendy! I rarely comment but I read almost every day. I even won a pair of shot glasses from you! I also have followed you from The Frisky and once you left the site I stopped going to it. I love the community here. I feel a part of it even though I never comment. I love hearing about everyone’s lives. It feels like we’re all friends here. Hope you survive the storm!

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray January 22, 2016, 11:18 pm

    Happy birthday, Dear Wendy! I can’t believe it’s already been 5 years, that’s nuts. On the other hand, it feels like I’ve had DW and this wonderful community as a resource and for support for a lifetime; can’t remember life pre-DW! I definitely feel like I know myself better and am a better friend to others and person in general thanks to DW. I’ve learned so much here!

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark January 23, 2016, 3:24 am

    Congrats, everyone. I am MIA as I am on location Production Designing a tiny, but ambitious feature film called HOSPICE up in Ojai, California and we have no wi-fi at either the location — or the hotel. (Okay, I am being too cheap to pay for wi-fi at the hotel but after a looooooooooooong day set decorating — I am to exhausted to get my money’s worth.) Anyway, HOSPICE has a Facebook page we are on IMDB if you wanna check it out. I also posted an absurd pic of me with a gun in front of a bathtub full of blood on my wall so if you wanna see what I’ve been up to for the past 8 days… this is a good indication…

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy January 23, 2016, 6:19 am

      I was wondering what happened to you! Thanks for checking in. Have fun on set!

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    • avatar

      keyblade January 23, 2016, 12:02 pm

      That’s awesome. Congrats on the awesome gig.

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  • Dear Wendy

    Dear Wendy January 23, 2016, 6:28 am

    Thanks, everyone! I feel very good about five years of DW, and its future, and am heartened to see how many people who were here at the beginning are still checking in every day. I think we might just all grow old and gray together. Instead of announcing our own engagements and pregnancies, we’ll be announcing our kids’ engagements and our own retirements.

    Anyway, we woke up (at 5 am, per usual) to a blanket of snow outside and lots more coming down hard and fast. The forecast is for continued snow until 11 or 12 tonight, with at least a foot coming down altogether (and if it continues at this pace, I’d say two feet is more likely). We’re invited to our friends’ place later for chili and a fire in the fireplace, but we’ll have to see if it’s walkable outside by this afternoon. Now I’m wishing I’d gotten more wine yesterday.

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    • avatar

      Kate January 23, 2016, 8:39 am

      Oooohhh, sounds kinda nice, and I’m sure you can walk for more wine! A wonderful lady named Michelle at the United counter in Newark got me an exit row seat on the last flight to Boston last night. They were already canceling many flights including mine. stay warm and safe!

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  • avatar

    keyblade January 23, 2016, 12:04 pm

    Happy five years, everyone.

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  • avatar

    Laurel January 23, 2016, 4:11 pm

    Happy birthday! I rarely post but have been reading for all these years! Crazy that it has been that long. Also FYI the “moderator” status is visible to me.

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  • avatar

    d2 January 24, 2016, 3:07 pm

    Congratulations on the anniversary!
    .
    No bad weather where I am. This is usually the coldest time of year here, but temperatures are hovering around freezing today (unusually warm for us), so the snow we have is actually melting a bit.

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  • Raccoon eyes

    Raccoon eyes January 25, 2016, 8:56 am

    Oh, goodness, I cant believe it has been 5 years either! Congratulations, Wendy!!! This community is absolutely amazing, and I am so glad to be (even a small) part of it! You have helped so many people- I wish this had been around back in the day when I was committing all my Crimes Against Proper Dating. 😉
    *
    Looking forward to many more!!!!

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  • avatar

    rocketgirl January 25, 2016, 9:40 am

    Hard to believe it has been 5 years!! Awesome job and site, Wendy. Don’t know how else to start my day without Dear Wendy and coffee.

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    _s_ January 25, 2016, 11:11 am

    Congrats Wendy! Don’t know what I’d do without my daily DW fix, even though I mostly just lurk.

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