Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

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A friend of mine had a baby a couple weeks ago and, when I held her for the first time, I couldn’t believe that Joanie — and Jackson, too! — had once been so small (smaller, even). I passed the kids’ pediatrician’s office a few days ago and popped in to make a wellness appointment for Joanie, and the receptionist said, “For her nine-month check-up?” And I was about to correct him when I realized he was right; she’ll be nine months old in two weeks. Yesterday I registered Jackson for kindergarten in the fall, which somehow seems a bigger marker of the passing of time — or at least, a more pleasant one — than scheduling my first mammogram. And look at my little baby here — wearing shoes and the teeniest barrette to hold her hair out of her eyes; she’s playing with other kids at our neighborhood playground now and crawling so fast I can’t take my eyes off her for a second.

And guess what else? Spring starts this weekend (the earliest since 1896, which is confusing the hell out of my calendar-obsessed son, who has been counting days until March 21st, not the 20th, but so it goes). Despite this being the mildest winter I’ve experienced in the nine years I’ve been in NYC, it’s actually supposed to snow on our first day of spring. I can’t complain though. I only had to wear my snow boots, like, five times this year. To mark the occasion, I’ll be going to a bridal shower. What does one wear to a bridal shower on the first day of spring when it’s snowing and you have to walk a mile and take two different subways? Kate? Please advise.

What else? How was your week? What are you up to this weekend? Does anyone have a recipe you recommend? I’m in kind of a cooking rut. I like stuff I can cook, or at least do most of the prep work for, in the afternoon, when I still have some energy, and then heat up or throw together in a pan to cook at the end of the day when I’m pretty dead-tired. Ideas?

48 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Kate March 19, 2016, 7:48 am

    Sorry Wendy, just saw this. I effing hate bridal showers but if I were to go to one under the conditions you describe, I would wear either A) my best jeans and a pretty sweater or B) a warm dress and tights. I would wear warm socks and my snow boots plus my long coat with the hood on to protect my blowout without flattening my hurr. In my bag I’d carry indoor shoes or booties. And change at the door, leaving my snow boots in the hall. And then someone would steal them and you’d go back and let the hostess know and she’d be like tough shit and then you’d have your own shower and register for Manolos because winter is now over and you don’t give a fuck.

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    • avatar

      Kate March 19, 2016, 7:52 am

      If you’d like one of my WWKD bracelets, made of rose gold plate and pave “diamonds” for the letters, lmk and I can overnight Fed-Ex it to you. It would elevate your bridal shower look. Regular price is $250, for you gratis. Just tell people where you got it.

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    • Lianne

      Lianne March 19, 2016, 9:00 am

      Nice SATC reference. Well done.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 19, 2016, 9:02 am

        That was for you, LiLi. Can’t wait for your baby shower!

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      • Lianne

        Lianne March 19, 2016, 10:19 pm

        Baby showers > bridal showers?

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      • avatar

        Kate March 20, 2016, 6:44 am

        Yeah, with wedding showers, you’re going to have a wedding too, with gifts, so I don’t get the shower. Baby showers make sense. You need baby stuff.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy March 20, 2016, 8:02 am

        I agree. I don’t get bridal showers. I didn’t have one and I’ve never been to one. But I’m going to one today. Good news: it isn’t supposed to snow until this evening now, so I don’t have to bother with the snow boots, thankfully.

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  • avatar

    gym5ive March 19, 2016, 8:30 am

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  • Lianne

    Lianne March 19, 2016, 9:04 am

    What a cute baby!!! Wendy, I made the best lasagna last week. I don’t know if you follow me on Pinterest – if you do I have it there on my “comfort food” board. If you don’t I can send it to you. My husband just had some for breakfast because we still have a good bit of it left and he doesn’t want to throw it away. It’s seriously the best. And not the most difficult to make, as far as lasagna a go and you will have leftovers for the week.

    We are in a weekend of dinners out. Last night we went out with friends in the North End in Boston and had a delicious meal. Tonight we’re going to Del Frisco’s for another friend’s birthday celebration. An expensive weekend but we hardly go out these days so it’s ok. I’m excited for a yummy steak dinner. And maybe some red wine. I had some last night and it was so good. I can’t wait until I can drink with abandon again. #10weeks

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  • Nadia

    Nadia March 19, 2016, 10:11 am

    I made this vegetarian shepherd’s pie for a St. Patrick’s Day potluck on Thursday. It was delicious, and you can improvise with whatever you have on hand… I used fresh veggies (a mix of carrots and green bell peppers) and about half-and-half red lentils and black beans.

    http://minimalistbaker.com/1-hour-vegan-shepherds-pie/

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    • othy

      othy March 19, 2016, 5:26 pm

      That pie looks amazing! I love the idea of subbing lentils for ground beef – I ought to do that more often.

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  • avatar

    Kate March 19, 2016, 12:02 pm

    My mother just told me she ran into Elizabeth Warren in the street in Cambridge (she lives near them somewhere), and she looked really cute and had a great new haircut. And my mom said thank you for everything you do, and she said there’s more coming. And my mom said someday youll run for president and I’ll vote for you. She was so excited she couldn’t even handle it (my mom, not Elizabeth).

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy March 19, 2016, 8:46 pm

      I LOVE ELIZABETH WARREN!!!!

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      • avatar

        Kate March 20, 2016, 6:48 am

        So does my dad. He campaigned for her a few years ago and on voting day she came into the polling place to vote and saw him holding her sign, and she touched his arm and said thank you. He will never forget it. My mom told her that, haha. In this primary my mom voted for Bernie and my dad voted for Hillary. My mom was trying to send Hillary a message that she needs to rethink some of her policy.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy March 20, 2016, 8:06 am

        Hillary needs to change a lot if she wants to appeal to a larger base and win over Bernie’s supporters (many of whom have zero interest in ever voting for her). I will vote for her in the general election if she’s the democratic nominee — I think she’s less dangerous than any of the republican nominees, but I’ll resent that I won’t fully be able to celebrate “our first female president” in the same way I would if it were someone I actually respected and admired, like Elizabeth Warren. And if she IS our democratic nominee, which is looking more and more to be the case, let’s fucking hope she’s our first female president because God help us if we get stuck with the alternative…

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      • Lianne

        Lianne March 20, 2016, 5:59 pm

        Yes to all of this. I really don’t think I can stay living in the US with a Donald Trump presidency.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 21, 2016, 6:37 am

        At dinner last night my parents were actually talking about hiding people in their closets.

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      • muchachaenlaventana

        muchachaenlaventana March 21, 2016, 9:13 am

        It really makes me mad/scares me how many Bernie supporters claim they just won’t vote for Hilary if she is the nominee. I mean, I get it, you are bummed, but not voting is NOT the answer. If it comes down to Trump vs. Hilary I hope the democratic Bernie supporters will get their heads out of their asses and show up on election day.

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      • avatar

        RedroverRedrover March 21, 2016, 9:25 am

        Yeah, how will those people feel if it ends up being Trump? Is that really better than Hilary? I get what they’re saying, but come on! They should be able to see it’s the lesser of two evils at that point.

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      • avatar

        anonymousse March 21, 2016, 1:07 pm

        I haven’t seen or heard of that at all. Everyone I’ve talked to or know will vote dem not matter who the nominee is.

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      • muchachaenlaventana

        muchachaenlaventana March 21, 2016, 1:20 pm

        It is a real thing, there is a lot of information about it on the interwebs and just word of mouth as well: http://www.wsj.com/video/poll-33-of-sanders-supporters-wouldnt-vote-for-clinton/69C05055-85FE-4320-8D02-3EAC972CACD0.html

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      • avatar

        anonymousse March 21, 2016, 1:49 pm

        Yeah, but polls aren’t reliable. I mean, he’s got the youth vote…and what youths participate in a wsj/nbc poll? It all remains to be seen. I bet when it comes down to it, they would vote for Hillary if they had to. The alternative is too frightening. I really think the way he is engaging with the younger generation is going to inspire a lot more voter turnout than past generations. Maybe I’m crazy.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 21, 2016, 1:57 pm

        Salon.com is telling people to write in Bernie if Hillary gets the nomination. I just… that seems really dangerous.

        http://www.salon.com/2016/03/21/democrats_you_cant_vote_for_hillary_the_case_for_writing_in_bernie_sanders_if_hillary_clinton_is_the_nominee/

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      • avatar

        anonymousse March 21, 2016, 4:07 pm

        Oh god.

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      • Portia

        Portia March 21, 2016, 2:55 pm

        I have a friend (~40 years old) who’s the opposite: if Hillary doesn’t get the nomination, he’s not voting.

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      • avatar

        anonymousse March 21, 2016, 4:08 pm

        What is wrong with people?

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      • avatar

        Kate March 21, 2016, 6:17 pm

        The guy who wrote the salon article is saying that it would NOT be a disaster if Trump won, because we’d have a Democratic congress and nothing he wanted to do would pass. But it just seems counter to all common sense not to vote for the nominated democratic candidate. I don’t know.

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      • avatar

        anonymousse March 21, 2016, 7:19 pm

        It scares the shit out of me. We’d be the laughingstock of the entire world, basically.
        I, however, would vote for Elizabeth Warren over anyone, even though I feel the bern really hard.

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  • avatar

    RedRoverRedRover March 19, 2016, 1:32 pm

    Hahahah I thought that was a pic of Jackson at first and I was like “why is Wendy showing such an old pic of Jackson?”. They look so alike!

    I’m 40 and I haven’t been told to get a mammogram. Maybe because I’m currently pregnant? But I’ve seen research that’s actually saying that it may do more harm than good. Reason being that there are a lot of breast cancers that are slow-growing, that you could actually have your entire life. There are also lesions that *could* turn into cancer, but may never do so. But once they’re found on a mammogram, you get put into aggressive treatment like chemo, which obviously has other adverse affects. So you may actually have been better off with the slow cancer, or never had cancer at all, and lived a longer happier life. Mammograms are also not great at catching the most malignant tumours, the ones that are most aggressive and most likely to kill you. There are also a lot of false positives. So, yeah. I mean obviously I’d want my cancer to be caught, but then again, I’d hate to go through chemo for a low-risk cancer or a non-existent one. It’s a toughie.

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    • avatar

      Lisa March 20, 2016, 1:00 pm

      You mentioned many factual points regarding mammograms that most women are unaware of (“There are also lesions that *could* turn into cancer, but may never do so. But once they’re found on a mammogram, you get put into aggressive treatment like chemo, which obviously has other adverse affects. So you may actually have been better off with the slow cancer, or never had cancer at all, and lived a longer happier life. Mammograms are also not great at catching the most malignant tumours, the ones that are most aggressive and most likely to kill you. There are also a lot of false positives [].”).

      Contrary to the official narrative (which is based on medical business-fabricated pro-mammogram “scientific” data), there is marginal, if any, reliable evidence that mammography reduces mortality from breast cancer in a significant way in any age bracket but a lot of solid evidence shows the procedure does provide more serious harm than serious benefit (read: Peter Gotzsche’s ‘Mammography Screening: Truth, Lies and Controversy’ and Rolf Hefti’s ‘The Mammogram Myth’).

      IF…….. women (and men) at large were to examine the mammogram data above and beyond the information of the mammogram business (eg American Cancer Society, National Cancer Institute, Komen), they’d also find that it is almost exclusively the big profiteers of the test, ie. the “experts,” (eg radiologists, oncologists, medical trade associations, breast cancer “charities” etc) who promote the mass use of the test and that most pro-mammogram “research” is conducted by people with massive vested interests tied to the mammogram industry.

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        RedRoverRedRover March 20, 2016, 5:09 pm

        Yeah, after I posted it I went online to look up Canada’s policy to see if maybe that’s why I hadn’t been told to take one. In the US, they changed it to women over 50 and then there was some outcry and they changed it back to women over 40. But if you look at the Govt of Canada site they have all kinds of data showing that it’s not helpful. I don’t think we even have a mandatory recommendation age for doctors to tell their patients. It’s up to the individual woman in discussions with her doctor.

        Here’s the link to the Govt of Canada health page on it:

        Look at those graphs near the bottom. If you’re between 40-49, mammograms will save one in a thousand women from dying of breast cancer. But look at the stats just above that. 549/1000 women will have abnormal results at some point in those 10 years. So there’s a way greater chance that you’ll get a result that shows you’re at risk, than that you’ll actually have breast cancer found. If you’re anything like me, you’ll worry about that the rest of your life. And hopefully all of those abnormal results ones get caught and not actually treated, because that would be awful to go through chemo for nothing.

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      • othy

        othy March 20, 2016, 10:15 pm

        In the US, it’s still over 50, but if you’re 40-49 they recommend you talk to your doctor about your risk (family history, number of children, breastfeeding, weight, exercise, etc) and those in a higher risk category should get them. Screening test with too many false positives (i.e. PSA screening and mammography) are always harder to prove that they help compared to screening tests that actually can prevent cancer (i.e. pap smears and colonoscopies). The US preventative task force (the main guidance issuing body) has actually told doctors to stop doing PSA screening – depending on how that impacts mortality, they may follow suit with mammographies in a few years.

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      • avatar

        RedroverRedrover March 21, 2016, 9:18 am

        Interesting, thanks for the info! I think I’m gonna skip mammograms in general. 🙂 I don’t have any cancer in the family, and my boobs are so small that it’s gonna hurt like hell and be harder to actually find any problems. Plus, this is an interesting tidbit I read somewhere – it takes about 40 or so replications (doublings in size) for breast cancer to get to the point where it’s dangerous. A lump that is detectable by touch (by manually examining your breasts) is only one replication away from the smallest that can be detected by mammograms. And the ones detectable by touch are much less likely to be false positives that lead to unnecessary treatment. So as long as you’re doing your manual self-exam you’ll catch it anyway, and you can be more sure that if you go into treatment, it’s for actual cancer.

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      • othy

        othy March 21, 2016, 4:30 pm

        Definitely talk with your doctor first – family history is only a small portion of your cancer risk. Having children later in life (defined after around 28-30) or not having kids at all actually puts you at a higher risk than some family history does. A customized risk assessment is the best way for you to decide if you want to skip mammograms in your 40s. There are definitely some cohorts of women that regular mammograms are literal life savers – you want to make sure you’re not in that group.

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover March 21, 2016, 7:10 pm

        I will. But according to that page I posted, the only risk factor I have is not having kids before 30, and that’s a “minor” risk factor. So she’ll likely agree that I can wait till at least 50. 🙂

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  • othy

    othy March 19, 2016, 5:25 pm

    I got to go to a Bernie Sander’s rally yesterday. Living in Utah, we’re often completely ignored by presidential candidates, but this cycle we actually can make a difference – all of the candidates except Hillary have made their way here. The weather was perfect for the rally (about 60 and sunny), and my boss didn’t mind me skipping out of work early to go. Over 14,000 people showed up, which is great considering it was in the middle of the work day and was very spur of the moment. Also, Trump’s visit only brought about 1,000 so I feel there’s still hope for humanity.

    I broke my wrist just before Valentine’s day, and I’m getting my cast off on Wednesday. I’m so excited, and hopefully my arm has healed well. I’ll be in a brace for a couple of more weeks, but the prospect of stretching my fingers, bending my wrist, and washing my arm all sound wonderful.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy March 19, 2016, 8:49 pm

      Yay, bernie!!

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    • avatar

      dinoceros March 19, 2016, 8:54 pm

      Same for me when Michigan was about to have its primaries! The only candidates who came to my part of the state (or essentially anywhere in the state other than Detroit and/or Flint) were Bernie and Kasich.

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom March 20, 2016, 10:24 am

      Don’t be surprised if your wrist is stiff and won’t bend. When the cast came off my wrist I was shocked to find that it had no flex in it. When muscles don’t move for six weeks they stiffen to the point they don’t do anything. It was a full month before I could turn my wrist enough to receive change in my hand and that still wasn’t the full range of motion.

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      • othy

        othy March 23, 2016, 10:47 am

        So much freedom, but so little movement. They gave me a brace to help transition into using my muscles again, along with lots of little exercises to strengthen everything. And, she prescribed bubble baths to help loosen up the muscles.

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      • avatar

        anonymousse March 23, 2016, 11:48 am

        I’ve broken the same wrist twice, and Epsom salt baths really helped! Did they tell you to take cal/mag/vit d supplements?
        Also….yay Bernie in Utah! Although….gross Cruz!

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    • avatar

      anonymousse March 20, 2016, 9:10 pm

      I’m am thrilled by Utah right now! I love that Trump is scaring all the republicans.

      Still wondering if this will one day be revealed as an elaborate joke and Trump will go down in history as the destructor of the GOP.

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      • othy

        othy March 20, 2016, 10:17 pm

        It’s always nice when I’m happy with my state – not that Cruz is a good choice, but more votes for him improves the likelihood of a brokered convention.

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      • avatar

        anonymousse March 21, 2016, 1:51 pm

        I’m kind of interested to see what would happen if trump did get the nomination. I can’t believe this country is so impaired that he’d win. Then, the fall of the GOP…..but who can really say…this election is nuts.

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  • honeybeenicki

    honeybeenicki March 19, 2016, 7:37 pm

    I went to see a friend who has a 3 week old baby girl 🙂 Got some baby snuggles in while my almost 9-month-old played with her 2 year old.

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  • LadyinPurpleNotRed

    Ladyinpurplenotred March 20, 2016, 8:01 am

    Yesterday I got a mani pedi as a treat for keeping up with workout goals for a month. Today is my 4 year anniversary. We just took our dog out for a long walk. About to play Yahtzee in bed and massages later. It’s going to be a good day!

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  • avatar

    Anonymousse March 20, 2016, 12:16 pm

    I’m planning my first solo adventure since babies! I’m so excited. I’m giving credit to Wendy for planting a bug in my brain. I’m going to Portland, OR to visit my best buds later this year. I seriously cannot wait to have some uninterrupted sleep, some delicious food, lazy bike rides and all the things Portland can offer me. I feel like a younger woman already.

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  • avatar

    freckles March 21, 2016, 4:49 pm

    For a hot second, I thought that was a photo of Jackson. Until I remembered he’s a toddler now. But I think that means they look a bit alike!

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