Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

Screen Shot 2016-05-20 at 9.56.16 AM

I took this picture yesterday afternoon, but really, it could have been any day that Joanie and I pick up Jackson from school. The kids (and teachers) always swarm around Joanie and she (usually) is happy to have the attention. The one thing I hear more than anything from people who see her out and about is what a happy baby she is, and it’s true — she has a smile for everyone and is so easy-going; I really feel like we lucked out. Despite her easy temperament though, this was another rough week in terms of teething. Oh my God, but this is a difficult process, waiting for all these teeth to push through (I don’t remember it being quite so dramatic with Jackson). The last two nights Joanie was up for hours and hours screaming her head off. In fact, last night she was up until 6:30 in the morning! I had to ask a friend to take Jackson to school because I hated waking up Joanie to take him myself (Drew leaves for work too early to help with school drop-off).

Anyway, it sucks because I hate seeing my baby in so much pain and feeling helpless about making it better for her (a precursor to when she starts dating, maybe?), but we’ll get through it. At least there’s alcohol for me in the meantime and a little Motrin for her. And we don’t have anywhere we have to be this weekend, so we can totally work around Joanie and whatever napping she needs to sleep off her teething hangovers. Plus, it’s 75 and sunny here today — finally, a beautiful spring day — so it’s hard to feel too glum.

What are you all up to this weekend? And do you have any plans for Memorial Day weekend next weekend? How is it that the unofficial start of summer is just a few days away?! It’s been so unseasonably cool here in NYC that the summer kick-off feels especially sudden. (I’ll take it though!)

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42 comments… add one
  • honeybeenicki

    honeybeenicki May 20, 2016, 4:03 pm

    Aww Joanie is adorable! Sorry teething is being so awful 🙁 I can’t imagine what it feels like. I remember how awful my wisdom teeth were (though to be fair they were growing in completely sideways!) and I understood what was happening. A sweet little baby knows nothing! I hope she feels better soon.
    .
    This weekend I get to see one of my good friends play Calpurnia in To Kill a Mockingbird at the local theater. She even comped our tickets 😉 and we will be having dinner with another friend beforehand so that’ll be fun (until I have to drag my butt out of bed early Sunday to be at work by 6).
    .
    I’ve spent the past week searching for yet another new daycare. I’m exhausted of this whole situation. Hopefully the new one (signing a contract tonight!) is permanent!

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    mertlej May 20, 2016, 5:06 pm

    My 7 month old has 9 teeth and at least one molar coming in. She’s going to have a full set of chompers before she can walk :-/ All that means that we are exhausted and (as of last night) have resorted to being snappy and unhelpful with each other at 3:30 in the morning, which is all kinds of not great.
    *
    Blech. Bring on the wine.

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray May 21, 2016, 9:43 am

      Wow 9 teeth – amazing! That’s the most I’ve heard of. My boy is 8 months and has only 4. They all seemed to come out at once – or close by – and really fast. I think a 5th one is coming. Fortunately teething hasn’t been too hard on him. Besides drooling a lot. Maybe the other teeth hurt more?

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    RedRoverRedRover May 20, 2016, 5:38 pm

    Sorry to hear it’s so rough. 🙁 It seems like every stage is rough, doesn’t it? Our son is going through a phase of not eating his dinner, not wanting to “be good”, not doing anything we ask, fighting going to bed. And our new daughter was awful last night. Between midnight and 8am, she slept for a total of two hours. The rest of that time was spent breastfeeding. 18 times!!! By 8am I was in tears, my husband heard me and he ran upstairs thinking the baby had been hurt or died or something, I was just bawling, I was so tired and in pain from all the breastfeeding (she’s a chewer too, which doesn’t help).

    Hopefully tonight is better. Not looking forward to it. 🙁 I wonder if breastfeeding is really worth it. If she keeps up like this, I don’t know if I can do it. My son needed a lot of feeding, but he did sleep in between the feeds, so it wasn’t nearly this bad.

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      Anonymousse May 20, 2016, 5:51 pm

      You don’t have to keep going, but it might help to call a lactation consultant or visit your local La Leche League if you want to keep trying.

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        Anonymousse May 20, 2016, 5:53 pm

        And I know this is going to ruffle feathers, but are you cosleeping? It might not be as rough on the sleep if you feel comfortable enough to try that. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time, RR!

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        RedRoverRedRover May 20, 2016, 6:28 pm

        Yeah, I’m not comfortable with that. We have dozed off together a few times, just because I’m so tired, but I don’t want to make it a habit. I wouldn’t mind so much if I could put her beside me on the bed, like a foot or so away. We have a king so there’s plenty of room and she could be far from me and far from the edge (my husband’s sleeping on the pullout for now so he can be awake for our son). But she won’t sleep on her back on a flat surface either. Thankfully we have a vibrating chair that she does sleep in, just not last night. I’d prefer her to go in her bassinette, but at this point I’ll take anything.

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        Anonymousse May 20, 2016, 11:19 pm

        Totally understand that.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy May 20, 2016, 6:13 pm

      The not being able to sleep is really hard. Plus, your hormones are surging. Be gentle with yourself, and give yourself and your baby time to find a rhythm with the breastfeeding. But if you decide that breastfeeding isn’t right for you this time around, that’s ok, too. I didn’t breastfeed either of my kids — aside from 6-8 weeks of pumping — and they’re just fine.

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        RedRoverRedRover May 20, 2016, 6:31 pm

        I know, I was formula-fed too and I agree it’s fine. But I’d prefer to breastfeed because it’s so easy once you can get into it. You always have food with you, you don’t have to prep it, no messing with the temperature etc, no cleanup after. Not to mention it’s free! It’s just such a nice option, and if I give up now I can’t get back to it. So I’ll keep trying.

        My mom’s coming on Sunday and staying for about a week and a half, and I can’t wait! She’ll help with the baby, and hopefully also be able to smooth things a bit with my son. I’m just trying to hang in there till she comes.

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        Anonymousse May 20, 2016, 11:19 pm

        That’s good she’s coming to help you. I’m sending you internet hugs!

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      keyblade May 20, 2016, 7:32 pm

      Oh RedRoverRedRover, I’m sorry its so hard. Ask your husband to bring you warm wet compresses for your boobs every couple of hours. And maybe block out curtains so you can catch some semblance of a nap during the waking hours. And some of these for RedRoverRedRover, daddy.. https://www.milkin-cookies.com/

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    • Pamplemousse Rose

      Pamplemousse Rose May 22, 2016, 12:22 am

      She sounds like my son was… I’m so sorry it’s a rough beginning. Can you have her assessed for a tongue/lip tie? My son had one and they’re just less effective at transferring milk with a tie so he needed to feed more frequently. Since he was gaining weight and I didn’t have pain, they didn’t clip it, until I finally pretty much pushed a doctor to do it at 8 weeks and things got a lot better after that. My daughter had them too and her’s were clipped at 1 week and breastfeeding was easier to get going with her.

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    Anonymousse May 20, 2016, 11:26 pm

    Ahhh! I’m thrilled to death that we are moving! Yeahhhhh! My husband got a job back in the city we love and we are moving ASAP. Hopefully, we’ll have everything packed up and we’ll be on our way in two weeks! I am so excited, I’m barely stressed (right now) about all the details.
    Any tips on keeping a six month old and two year old entertained on a very, very long car trip?

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      RedRoverRedRover May 21, 2016, 2:07 pm

      OMG congrats! Do you have an iPad? We’re not huge on screens, but for long trips it’s worth it for the sanity. There’s a Wheels on the Bus game that our son loved when he was 2. Get an Otterbox or something for it so you don’t have to worry if it gets dropped.

      The six month old should be easier I think? Trying to remember back. 🙂 Probably will sleep a lot of the time?

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        Anonymousse May 21, 2016, 6:35 pm

        Thank you! Thankfully we do have iPads, and the 2 year old loves naming everything he sees…I’m really so excited! She is remarkably easy…I’m actually not too worried about it all. -I say that now…lol.

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        Anonymousse May 21, 2016, 6:35 pm

        I mean the six month old is…

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        RedRoverRedRover May 22, 2016, 12:03 pm

        You know what else is good to have in the car? Just random crap that might amuse him. Like we went on a flight once and we brought pipecleaners, drinking straws, etc. Also raisins can buy you some switches out of bad moods. 🙂 And just recently we had some balloons, which my husband would blow up and then let the air out of, you know with a fart sound, or with a squeak, and my three-year-old thought it was hilarious. That lasted like half an hour till my husband ran out of breath. 🙂

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        Anonymousse May 22, 2016, 2:19 pm

        That’s so true. When we flew across the country a plastic cup and a straw were the best distraction.

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  • Lianne

    Lianne May 21, 2016, 7:36 am

    Sorry about the teething (Wendy) and breastfeeding troubles (RR)!! Sounds awful but as my friends with kids always say, wait two weeks and it should pass. In the meantime, good luck!

    I’m just doing the same thing I’ve been doing…waiting for baby. Had more contractions last night around 7 which stopped then again at 4 am, which stopped. My body is getting ready but it’s such a tease. I’m convinced I’m going to give birth in my house because I’m not going to believe it when it’s really time. It’s a full moon tonight so fingers crossed that pushes things along!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy May 21, 2016, 9:16 am

      The waiting is the hardest! Well, that’s not really true; labor is the hardest. But the waiting is a close second and lasts a lot lot longer! Hang in there – the big day is almost here (I predict 5/28, early morning).

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      • Lianne

        Lianne May 21, 2016, 12:40 pm

        I’d rather go before my due date but 5/28 is only 2 days late and so much better than June something, which one of my friends ssid he hoped for. I told him he was mean. Thanks for the kind words 🙂

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray May 21, 2016, 9:49 am

      Hang in there! I predict May 24. Wee hours of the morning.
      *
      I never had contractions, until labor, I mean. Never had those false contractions. Braxton Hicks? Something like that. I did have a false water break though! It was so weird. My water broke. I mean, it did! Right there on my friend’s couch. Clear water. Then more gushed out about 5 minutes later. That happened like 5 times. We were so excited. Finally, it was time! I went to the hospital and they did a test and said nope, my water hadn’t broken. I was shocked. I mean, they looked at my like I was nuts but everything they describe about water breaking happened! I went back home and the contractions began that night. My water didn’t break until I wAs at the hospital (for the 2nd time) and already had the epidural. But I swear to god it broke the day before!! Ha.

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      • Lianne

        Lianne May 21, 2016, 12:42 pm

        I’ll take May 24th! Funny, Wendy predicts two days after due date, you predict 2 days before.

        The water breaking thing is so confusing to me. Like, what were you leaking then!? I had a few days this week where I wondered if it had happened but then was like, nope just sweat! Which is gross, but it’s been nice and warm here this week – finally!

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      Anonymousse May 21, 2016, 10:06 am

      I had serious Braxton hicks and false labor on and off with both kids…for month, and everyone always said, “you’ll know when it’s real.”
      From my experience, that was very accurate, and real labor pains and contractions were completely different than Braxton or false labor.
      Good luck! And I wish a speedy labor and delivery for you!

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      • Lianne

        Lianne May 21, 2016, 12:44 pm

        Thanks! And that’s what I’ve heard – I’ll know when it’s the real thing. But some of my BH have been painful so then I’m like, WILL I in fact know the real thing!? I hope so.

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        Anonymousse May 21, 2016, 1:31 pm

        You will! And when my water broke, I swear I heard it pop, and it was a gush.
        Awww, so exciting!

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        RedRoverRedRover May 21, 2016, 2:11 pm

        I heard mine pop too, it was so weird! And yes, Lianne, you’ll know. I was feeling the same way, even though it was my second pregnancy, I felt like I wouldn’t remember and wouldn’t be able to tell. But no, you’ll know. And if you don’t, you can always go to the maternity triage and they’ll tell you. 🙂 They’ll send you home if it’s too early, usually.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy May 21, 2016, 2:23 pm

        I heard a pop when my water broke, too (with jackson; I was induced with Joanie and the dr. had to break the water for me, which I was really freaking out about but it turned out to be no big deal at all). Since my labor was so fast with jackson (three hours from first painful contraction to holding him in my arms), I was on super high alert with joanie and ended up going to maternity triage for one false alarm (in my defense, I was having contractions, but they weren’t close or intense enough to signal imminent labor).

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray May 22, 2016, 6:37 am

        3 hours. I still can’t get over that – just 3 hours!! You really should have a hundred babies, you deliver them so …fast! (I mean, no you shouldn’t but why not.) From my first contraction to holding him took about 35 hours. But the first 12 hours of my contractions were light and far apart. (I thought “if this is as bad as it gets I definitely want to do it natural, without an epidural.) But then shit for real. And from that point it took 23 hours to get that baby out. And I got the epidural, no brainer. Lianne, I hope you’re more of a Wendy and less of an Addie when it comes to birthing babies fast!
        *
        I love telling and hearing labor stories. Sorry to those who don’t, ha!

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      • Lianne

        Lianne May 22, 2016, 7:47 am

        I hope I lean towards a Wendy birth. 3 hours scares the shit out of me since there’s no time for drugs.

        My sister-in-law had her baby last week. She started having contractions around 3 am and labored at home until they were about 5 mins apart. She got to the hospital in a lot of pain, but when the doctor checked her, he said she was only a finger tip dilated! She was like, please don’t send me home. I’m in so much pain. A few minutes later, he checked again and she was at 10 cm!! He was like, we need help in here, she has to start pushing. That baby came flying out of her like a canon ball – at a solid 10 lbs. and with no drugs.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy May 22, 2016, 9:33 am

        Holy shit.

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        RedRoverRedRover May 22, 2016, 11:59 am

        That’s crazy! It IS better if it goes slow. My last one took less than an hour from first strong contraction to birth, and contractions were much, much stronger than with my first baby. Like my midwife said, your body has to do the same amount of work either way. If it does it in a shorter time, it’s working much harder during that time. My baby went from not even fully engaged (not all the way dropped) to crowning in like, 2-3 contractions. That’s how strong they were. Imagine how they felt. 🙁 That’s why I didn’t want induction, it forces them to be stronger.

        Of course there are pluses, my first one took over three hours of just pushing, which has some bad side effects. But the contractions were nowhere near as intense. Overall my second birth was harder during but easier to heal from, and my first was easier during but much harder to heal from. A big part of that was the episiotomy though, avoid those if possible. Most doctors won’t do them anymore unless they’re actually necessary though, so you’re probably ok.

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        Anonymousse May 22, 2016, 2:26 pm

        Was that her first baby? My first took forever, and the actual pushing was a lot longer. However, they stripped my membranes and my water broke…so it didn’t start naturally.
        My second, my water broke a minute after I put my son to bed for the night, I started having serious contractions- (those ones I knew for sure. Totally different than Braxton.) I was holding steady at 3 cm dilated for two hours or something, and then five minutes later I was at 10cm, I pushed three times and we had a baby!

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      • Lianne

        Lianne May 22, 2016, 6:09 pm

        No it was her second. She was induced with her first and it took a lot longer.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy May 22, 2016, 9:32 am

        Oh man, that sounds rough!

        I had a different obgyn with my pregnancy with joanie and I warned her how fast my labor with jackson went, so when I was induced with joanie, even though she was on call at home, she came as soon as I was given pitocin, and it’s a good thing because from the point contractions got painful, Joanie was out an hour later (it did take about three hours after I was given piton before the contractions got painful though). I pushed for maybe 15 minutes, I think? It was seriously, no big deal, especially since I had an epidural (which I didn’t have with jackson; what a difference!!!). My doctor and the nurses were all thrilled — usually, with a labor, they’re looking at a long day/night of laborious (no pun intended) work. My doctor also told me I should have five more babies. Ha!

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    Bekahtravels May 21, 2016, 3:59 pm

    You probably know this trick but it worked great for my siblings. Take a washcloth, put an ice cube in the center, tie it of with a rubber band or something else, and let the baby “chew” on the ice cube. It numbs the gums and the baby can hold onto the “tail” of the washcloth and it’s all stuff you already have in your house!

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    • avatar

      saneinca May 22, 2016, 10:35 pm

      A couple more tricks – dip a clean finger in ice water and rub the gums every hour for 5 minutes. This will help in soothing the gums and also helps teeth to break out quickly.
      Also there should be some thing like a gum massager for the baby to gnaw on which could help teeth to breakout quicker.

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    Sue Jones May 21, 2016, 6:27 pm

    Homeopathic chamomilla can help sometimes with teething. My Boo who is now almost 13 had a tough time with teething and that helped. Anyway, this weekend finally it was warm enough to plant my melons and cukes, zukes and squashes. And I also planted some tomatoes and did some yardwork I had been putting off due to the cold rain. Or rather I got my almost 13 year old to do a lot of yard work! Oh and my 24 year old stepson broke both of his arms last week being a dumb 24 year old male… so he is staying with for a while. Luckily he was on a break from school and was going to do odd jobs in between now and summer classes. So it looks like it will just be summer classes which don’t start until July.

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    Kate May 22, 2016, 7:02 am

    Ha. The friend who is staying with us got “super liked” by a chick on Tinder. Yesterday afternoon he went out to meet a guy friend of ours and then we were going to meet for dinner and go to a club. But the guy friend helped him with the Tinder girl to meet her “for a beer” and he never showed up at the club. In fact he just got back here at 8am and said he had a great time. She must know by now that he lives nowhere near here…

    Tinder is nuts. He showed us some screen shots (not from the Boston area). One is a mirror bikini selfie, and it says “*Sentimental momma *Lucky wife *Wannabe cook *Finicky decorator *Constant crafter *Eager reader *Wholehearted Jesus lover”

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    • Lianne

      Lianne May 22, 2016, 8:18 am

      It’s true. Kate sent me the screen grab. I was horrified. So in my estimation, this Jesus lover is a married mom looking to hook up. awesome!

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      Kate May 22, 2016, 12:48 pm

      Well, apparently they really hit it off. I saw her on FB and she’s quite attractive and has a good job. I also heard the text transcript and she was def very into him. He was fortunate to have our friend C there to tell him what to say and not say before they met up. Now he just needs to move here.

      Earlier in the day he was also giving horticulture advice to and flirting with our next door neighbor, an older divorcee with a Cadillac, who it turns out is jealous of me because I got the pots she wanted. She was about to write a check for them and then heard someone else had bought them. Except I got them for free. Our friend was like, you can get more pots and I can carry them up the stairs for you. Ha! Maybe she’ll fly him back here to landscape her deck as well.

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