Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

By the time this is scheduled to post, Drew, Jackson, and I will be boarding a flight to Austin, Texas to attend a friend’s wedding and visit my sister. I don’t think my friend would mind me telling you that the man she’s marrying is an old high school acquaintance whom she reconnected with on Facebook several years ago (so, there, Facebook IS good for something!). They both grew up in Texas and he still lives in the state, albeit in a different city now, while my friend has spent the last seven years pursuing a PhD at Columbia. Their relationship has been, for the most part, long distance until just a few weeks ago. As someone who successfully navigated a long distance relationship-turned-marriage, I’m so excited for them and wish them lots and lots of happiness.

Anyhow, their whole situation brings up several open-thread-worthy discussions. First, have any of you reconnected with old friends or former flames on social media sites and had love blossom? Second, who else has successfully turned a long distance relationship into a marriage or happy live-in coupledom? What challenges did you face and how did you work through them? Finally, since this will be my first โ€” and likely only โ€” wedding of the season this year, let’s talk favorite wedding memories you have as either a guest or participant. (Sadly, I missed both weddings I was invited to last year due to hospital stays from pregnancy complications. I would definitely not count those as “favorite wedding memories,” though I won’t likely forget the experiences for a while).

Also! Reminder that there will be a DW Meetup in Austin on Sunday. I’ve made a reservation and hope to meet at least a couple of you.

59 comments… add one
  • avatar

    lets_be_honest April 27, 2012, 3:16 pm

    We were never long distance, nor reconnected on Facebook, but I’m partnered with someone I had a huge crush on in high school. We were friends then, and remained friendly over the years, but it turned into a relationship many years after high school.

    Last week we were wandering through some trails with my daughter and he reminded me that we once did that together while I was pregnant with her. She thought that was very cool that he knew her when she was in my belly ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • FireStar

      FireStar April 27, 2012, 3:31 pm

      Adorable!

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    • rainbow

      rainbow April 27, 2012, 4:26 pm

      That’s a very sweet story =)

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      Addie Pray April 28, 2012, 6:55 am

      Sweet!

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    LANY April 27, 2012, 3:20 pm

    My dad was one of my moms TA’s in med school… They never had a friendship / relationship, and reconnected over dinner at a mutual friends house in NY years later. Dad was living in NY, Mom in Chicago. She was in town for a medical conference. Dad asked mom out at the dinner, and they made a date.

    He was 3 hours late. She was still there (pre-cell phones, he’d had an emergency at the hospital). As he was driving her home to their friends house (where mom was staying), he started singing “Some Enchanted Evening” from South Pacific. He got to the line, “Once you have found her, never let her go…” and proposed. She thought he was nuts. She went back to Chicago.

    He called her every day for a month and asked her to marry him each him. A month later she said yes. 3 months later, she moved to NY the day before their wedding (which my dad planned). They celebrate 34 years this July.

    My parents are awesome.

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      LANY April 27, 2012, 3:21 pm

      (asked her to marry him each TIME)

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      lets_be_honest April 27, 2012, 3:23 pm

      WOW! That has got to be the coolest story ever! I agree, your parents are awesome.

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        cporoski April 27, 2012, 5:01 pm

        amazing. MY story isn’t that amazing. But my husband said he loved me the night he met me. I always thought that was pretty neat.

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      Witchmom3 April 27, 2012, 9:38 pm

      Love your parents’ story. Because long-term dating and long engagements are the norm now, people forget that back in the day a couple could meet, fall in love and get married all within a few months. I know a few older couples that that happened to and they’ve all been married 40+ years. Seems pretty romantic to me ;D

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  • avatar

    Taylor April 27, 2012, 3:22 pm

    Indeed, your parents are awesome!

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    Taylor April 27, 2012, 3:27 pm

    Safe travels Wendy!
    My favorite wedding memory … let’s see, when one of my dearest friends got married, I was a bridesmaid. When I was walking up the aisle, my Mom popped up with her camera (I think she was worried it was the only aisle she’d see me walk down) and took pictures. Awkward, but very cute. I have this great picture of her, me and my sister from that wedding – Mom (at 70 yrs) had gotten pink streaks in her hair (from henna, which FYI can turn white hair pink), my sister had blue streaks, and was wearing Mom’s old fur stole that made her look about 80, and I had an unfortunate bridesmaid cleavage. I crack up every time I see it. Stay classy San Diego!

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    kerrycontrary April 27, 2012, 3:44 pm

    I think my favorite wedding memory so far has to be from my sister’s wedding. At that point I had only recently found out that my sister had a tattooed butterfly on her lower back (essentially a tramp stamp as I lovingly tell her). She was 29 but had never told my parents or any of us because my parents would flip out, even though she was a grown woman. I had only found out as we had gone on a trip to Alaska and shared a tent. Anyways, as she was getting into her wedding dress and my mom was going to help her she goes “oh my god no, kerry has to zip it up for me!”. She still didn’t want my mom to see her tattoo! at 29! hahahah.

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      lets_be_honest April 27, 2012, 3:54 pm

      I hid mine til I was in my late 20s too! I just assumed she knew about it at that point and, well, she certainly did not and tried to ground me. When I was living in my own home. With a kid. She’s a funny one. But I can’t blame your sister. Your mom could’ve grounded her on her own wedding night!

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      • avatar

        Taylor April 27, 2012, 3:57 pm

        I’m still hiding mine…and past 30, and my wedding is this June =)

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      • avatar

        Taylor April 27, 2012, 4:01 pm

        p.s. – don’t tell my Mom =)

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 27, 2012, 4:04 pm

        So cute. Isn’t it strange though. I was a labor coach for my best friend, and she was freaking out in the delivery room not about her giving birth, but what if her mom saw her tattoo.
        I still won’t smoke cigarettes in front of my mom either. Parents. What can you do?

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      • avatar

        Taylor April 27, 2012, 4:07 pm

        Yep. That’s hilarious, I hadn’t even thought about potential labor-sightings. I suppose at that point future grandkid ought to trump the tat.

        At some point I realized that she is who she is, and I am who I am, and we’re both happier not sharing everything =)

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow April 27, 2012, 4:10 pm

      I was stupid and got a tattoo on my ass when I was 19. The good thing is that it’s easy to hide, but I think at this point my mom has seen it (maybe when I was in a swim suit)?

      I have 2 more that I thought I would hide, but then I was so proud I had to show them off. Haha. Same thing when I got my belly button pierced at age 18 – it could have been so easy to hide, but I showed my mom anyway. She used to make me show people my “jewels.” She’s weird like that, I guess.

      But she HATED it when I had my lip pierced.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 27, 2012, 4:18 pm

        I’m being super-chatty today, but all these stories are reminding me of things from my past.
        I was such a jerk when I was a teenager. I really admire my mom for not sending me away. I got my tongue pierced on the night before I turned 18, drove straight home, woke my poor mother up and showed her what I could do now that I was a grown-up.
        I honestly don’t think I got it done for any other reason than that, ended up not being able to eat my own birthday cake and took it out after 3 months once it had healed.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow April 27, 2012, 5:01 pm

        Haha. I was a nightmare. Right around age 19 I went through what I now call my pseudo-rebellious phase. I decided to have a small get-together in the basement before I left for college. I only invited a handful of friends, and I told my mom ahead of time. I hinted that we would probably be drinking, and she acted like she was ok with it.

        The problem is, my 21-year-old friend who supplied the alcohol ended up telling a BUNCH of people that I was having a “house party” and then TONS of people showed up. My mom wasn’t home at the time, and it got out of hand. We were doing shots, and then one of my friends started smoking weed. I also put on gay porn just for the hell of it. And wouldn’t you know it, THAT’s when my mom walked in. I was sitting there with a shot of tequila in front of me, a bowl in my hand, and gay porn on the tv behind me. Everyone froze when they saw her. I got up, pushed her out of the door, and then locked it.

        Yep, I’d say I was a nightmare. But somehow we convinced her to let people stay as long as there was no weed-smoking. She was surprisingly cool about it, but obviously most everyone FLED as soon as they saw her, haha. Yep. Those were the days.

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    bethany April 27, 2012, 3:51 pm

    Good friends of ours got married the week before we did, on Block Island in Rhode Island. For those who have naver been, I highly reccomend it! It was a really magical place. Anyway, they got married on the beach in a Quaker ceremony and married themselves, it was really special. Anyway, the time comes to exchange the rings, and they take the ring pillow from their nephew who was about 4 years old, and there’s no ring on it. The ring got lost somewhere between the house and the ceremony. People started freaking out, but the Bride kept her cool- she took off her engagement ring, handed it to the groom and calm as could be said “Here- Use this one”. She just wanted to marry him, and it didn’t matter to her how that actually happened… It was really sweet.
    Someone did end up finding the ring- He was the star of the reception!

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    brendapie April 27, 2012, 3:52 pm

    I still have a hankering for my high school crush. We dated other people during high school but we always had some chemistry together. Nothing ever came of it and our couple attempts during college to spend time together never did work out. This morning he posted on Facebook something sweet about his new girlfriend and my heart just sank. I’ve never been in love with him but I’ve always wondered what if.

    I do wish love could have blossomed between us and reconnecting on Facebook would have been a great first step towards that. But -sometimes- having a Facebook friend who is part of your past, but not your present, serves no purpose. It’s a reminder of a crush that resulted in nothing but a broken heart and a huge waste of time. But it’s hard to delete him on Facebook and let go of a possible venue for connecting in the future.

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    ChemE April 27, 2012, 3:52 pm

    My husband and I were long distance for 4 years. We met in high school, and while he was doing his 4 years with the USMC, I was getting my degree. Lots of letters at the beginning and then daily phone calls.
    My husband is probably the most anti-technology person my age I know, so if we didn’t hook up when we did, I don’t think facebook would have brought us back together. ๐Ÿ™‚
    I haven’t been to a wedding in a while, not since my sister-in-law’s a couple years ago. Must mean I need more friends… But I’d say my favorite wedding moment was mine. And mostly because we handled it so last minute, that it was literally a day, day and a half to let everyone know and get it done. No stress, well almost none. He was home on leave and we had some pretty bad snow storms, so we weren’t even sure we could make it to the courthouse to get the license. Then when we got there, there was no judge, so we had to find someone to marry us. We weren’t sure it was going to happen before he left, 48 hours later!
    Have fun in Austin Wendy!

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow April 27, 2012, 3:54 pm

    I was the maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding. She met her husband in high school and they got married shortly after college, so this was my first time being IN a wedding, and probably the first wedding I’d even attended since early childhood.

    As the maid of honor, I had to give a speech. It was a really cute speech, but I was SO NERVOUS. After the ceremony we went and did some pictures in the park, and from there to the reception. The entire wedding party (and then some) went in this old RV thing – so I was able to have a glass or 2 of champagne on the way there to calm my nerves.

    The bridal party was seated on a stage/platform thingie, with the bride, groom, best man, and MOH on the top tier and the rest on the lower tier. The best man made his speech first, and then they passed the microphone down to me (I was seated on the far right). I took the mic, and then slid my chair back to stand up. As I tried to stand up, I accidentally slid the chair leg OFF the stage. The chair fell, and I WENT WITH IT! I mean, tumbled down onto the floor and FLAT on my ass.

    The entire reception was DYING of laughter. I tried to brush it off and laugh with them, but obviously I was mortified. But what could I do? I got back up there and gave my speech, and it was a damn good speech, I must say. And you better believe I had everyone’s attention after that! Luckily, my friend was in NO way a bridezilla and she just laughed. Yep, that’s my most memorable wedding moment by far. AND it was memorable for everyone else there too!

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    • avatar

      Rachel April 27, 2012, 4:23 pm

      This is awesome, haha.

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    • katie

      katie April 27, 2012, 4:29 pm

      thats great lol…. im glad that it didnt turn out badly for you!

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    applescruff April 27, 2012, 3:56 pm

    When my best friend from kindergarten got married, I looked up a calender from the year we started school, and realized she was getting married on “our” anniversary. It made for a good bridesmaid speech.

    But I think my favorite wedding moment was when my best friend from grad school got married, one of her drunk high school friends insisted she throw her bouquet. Drunk high school friend ended up being the only person on the dance floor while my friend half heartedly threw a centerpiece bouquet. Then another friend tackled DHSF and grabbed the bouquet – saying later she felt like the moment needed a little more drama. Best bouquet toss ever.

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    • avatar

      Taylor April 27, 2012, 4:00 pm

      Great visual!

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      lets_be_honest April 27, 2012, 4:02 pm

      Yea, that’s the best bouquet toss story I’ve ever heard.
      Love the “our” anniversary thing too!

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    AllegroFox April 27, 2012, 3:56 pm

    My cousin had an outdoor wedding in the middle of summer about six years ago. (Maybe seven? I can’t remember exactly. How terrible am I!) Anyway, it had rained the morning of the ceremony, and then heated up to about 30 degrees in the early afternoon. By the time things got underway, everything (and everyone) was covered in a sweaty, sticky, humid miasma. Fortunately I, as unofficial dj (it was essentially a homemade wedding) got to watch everything from the (air-conditioned) vantage point of the gazebo while I worked the stereo. I’m told my volume-knob-turning skills were exceptional. ๐Ÿ™‚
    …Of course, it rained again later and I ended up soaked like everybody else. But it was good while it lasted.

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  • avatar

    Rachel April 27, 2012, 4:26 pm

    I’ve only been a bridesmaid once, for a good friend from college. Her parents had a surprise for her at the reception. They had learned how to tango, to show her how you can always do new things. They’ve been married probably 30 or so years and they performed the tango in front of everyone, rose and everything. It was so sweet.

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  • avatar

    Sami Ami April 27, 2012, 4:29 pm

    My boyfriend and I actually met because of Facebook. He and I were only a year apart in school, so we knew a lot of the same people, but not each other. That “People You May Know Too” feature must have shown up with my picture, and he thought I was cute so he messaged me. We talked for about a week, then met up for dinner, and it was like we’d known each other for years. We talked all night and there was never a lull in the conversation. We don’t really hang out in the same places, so I don’t know that we would have run into each other if it wasn’t for Facebook, but I’m awfully glad he noticed me on there!

    At a friend’s wedding shower last weekend, she mentioned to me how happy she was that we had started dating. She said that in high school she had thought we would have made the cutest couple. So sometimes it’s pretty funny how things end up working out.

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  • katie

    katie April 27, 2012, 4:33 pm

    my favorite wedding story is from my boyfriends brothers wedding where i made the cake. i was so freaking proud of that thing. SO proud. i had the best day that day. no messes, no problems, the cake went up like a dream… it looked so good, and i worked for seriously like 3 or 4 months… i was so happy that i was able to leave a good impression on my boyfriends pretty crazy mom, too! lol.

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    jlyfsh April 27, 2012, 4:47 pm

    my first anniversary is coming up in a few weeks so i’ve been thinking about my wedding/elopment a lot. watching wedding shows and reading letters here about weddings reaffirms that i made the right decision for my wedding. (obviously not the right choice for everyone!). it’s crazy how fast the first year went. we moved for my job a few weeks after our wedding so our first year had a lot of change in it. it definitely feels different being married (Even though we lived together before) and we learned a lot out each other between the move, adjusting to a new city, adopting two dogs together, etc.

    we’re spending our anniversary first in a lawyer’s office signing papers for our first house (woohoo) and drinking a bottle of wine and packing.

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    Friend of Beagles April 27, 2012, 8:09 pm

    My hubby and I met online before there was Facebook (gasp!), via a bulletin board on AOL for people in search of pen pals (or e-mail pals, as the case may be). I was living in NYC at the time–had just moved there, so I didn’t know too many people–and he lived in Maryland. We started writing to each other, then realized we were writing every day. In fact, the day didn’t seem complete without exchanging messages. We kept that up for nine months, throwing in phone calls here and there after the five-month point, then decided it was time to meet in person to see if there was something extra, something romantic there. In a move I would NEVER approve of in my daughter, I hopped an Amtrak train to Baltimore (leaving all contact info with my roommate, should I not return) and spent the weekend with him. Poor guy was so nervous he barely spoke to me the whole weekend. I left on Sunday, figuring hey, it was worth a try. By the time I got back, he had sent me an e-mail saying, “you left your peanut butter cups here, you have to come back for them.” I did go back the next weekend; Attempt 2 went much better than Attempt 1. Anyway, we’re celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary in June. Oh, and our son’s middle name is Reese in honor of the peanut butter cups that brought me back to Maryland for his second chance. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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      Addie Pray April 28, 2012, 7:03 am

      Oh wow – that’s a good story!

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        Friend of Beagles April 28, 2012, 7:54 am

        Thanks, Addie–that means a lot coming from you! ๐Ÿ™‚

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      Taylor April 28, 2012, 8:27 am

      That is too sweet =)

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      Bethany April 28, 2012, 6:12 pm

      Aww!! So cute!!

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    • FireStar

      FireStar April 28, 2012, 6:54 pm

      Love!

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    Witchmom3 April 27, 2012, 9:57 pm

    Embarrasing (now funny) wedding story, I was a bridesmaid for my girlfriend who was having a “Gone with the Wind” theme wedding. Yep, the dreaded hoop skirt! And while you’re supposed to have the hoop skirt collapse over the seat as you sit, I forgot and sat on it, making the front of the skirt popped up and voila, full-on panty exposure! Guess that’s why the ladies back then wore bloomers!

    Hope you have a great time ๐Ÿ˜€

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      Addie Pray April 28, 2012, 7:02 am

      Hahaha – that is too funny. I’m heading to a wedding today… I hope something equally funny happens (to someone else, not me!)

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        Witchmom3 April 28, 2012, 11:24 am

        Yeah, I can laugh about it now! I’m attending a wedding today too in the beautiful OC (in Cali) – but alas, no hoop skirts (I think) LOL.

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        Addie Pray April 29, 2012, 8:32 am

        well, i went to my wedding yesterday – not “my” wedding, but the one for a friend i was talking about – and no falling or skirts popping up. it was pretty uneventful, except for the golf-ball size hail that may have damaged my wittle car. i don’t think it did, but i’ll get a better look this morning.

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        Witchmom3 April 29, 2012, 5:01 pm

        The wedding I attended yesterday was beautiful but uneventful, no one got drunk, no one fell or tried to hit on someone else’s SO. Obviously it wasn’t one of my family member’s wedding. LOL

        Seriously, I have an aunt that fell at like 90% of the family wedding receptions she attended (mine included). Looking back now, it seems that at the ones she didn’t fall, the couple split. Hmmmmm, coincidence? I think not.

        Addie hope your car’s OK. Saw the pictures on TV of the softball-size hail that hit yesterday. Yikes!! (My dauaghter lives in Chitown but doesn’t have a car there, it stays here in SoCal for a reason)

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        Addie Pray April 29, 2012, 7:24 pm

        My car *does* have damage!! I got a better look this morning and oy vey – there are dents all over the hood and top of my car… golfball size dents… from that damn hail. FML.

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      • JK

        JK April 30, 2012, 8:32 am

        Donยดt worry, they should come out OK (if the paint isnยดt damaged). Last year my FIL borrowed my car and left it out in a hail storm, the roof was totally dented, but came out fine (and insurance covered it).

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        Addie Pray April 30, 2012, 9:16 am

        Actually, even though I complained about it here and on FB, I’m not too worried. If anything now I can be a little more comfortable with my brand new car – since it’s already RUINED! (Kidding.) My first thought was: I guess now it’s ok to eat in my car.

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      painted_lady April 29, 2012, 11:38 pm

      Oh god! My best friend planned at one point to have a Gone With the Wind-themed wedding (she’s a costumer and looooves period costumes). I told her that she’s the one person on the planet I’d wear a hoopskirt and corset for, but man was I ever relieved when she changed her mind a few years ago – I was worried about that exact thing happening. Now, she’s still planning on a corset and a bustle, so I’ll still be horribly uncomfortable, but at least I won’t be flashing her parents at any point.

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    Amy April 28, 2012, 10:51 pm

    My fiance and I met when I was dating someone else. I knew that he had feelings for me but I obviously was not interested since I was attached. Fast forward a few years, I am single and we ended up working together and becoming friends. Long story short we had our first date in 2009, 2nd date in 2011 (even longer story) and we are getting married next month! I have a feeling my favorite wedding memory will be made that day ๐Ÿ™‚

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      Addie Pray April 29, 2012, 8:33 am

      i wanna hear all the stories inbetween too!

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        Amy April 29, 2012, 11:59 am

        Well when we met he had a pretty obvious drinking problem. When we reconnected a few years later he was sober and in AA. He needed to deal with his new life and sobriety and I was still sowing my wild oats. This last year has been pretty magical to say the least!

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson April 29, 2012, 11:34 am

      I agree – you can’t make that long story short – this is DW after all.

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  • iwannatalktosampson

    iwannatalktosampson April 29, 2012, 1:37 pm

    I have no cool wedding stories – besides that time I was told on the way to the reception that I would have to give a speech – and this was after 6 shots. That would be embarrassing – except I don’t remember what I said so what I don’t know can’t embarrass me.

    Did everyone have a good weekend? Anyone have any cool vacations coming up?

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson April 29, 2012, 2:36 pm

      Everyone quit ignoring me! I’m bored.

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        Rachel April 29, 2012, 4:36 pm

        I’m at work. But I’m not yet actually working. You would think that by coming in on a Sunday when I don’t want to, I would force myself to actually get something done so it’s worth it. grr.

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    kali April 29, 2012, 1:50 pm

    My boyfriend and I met in a role-playing game and spent hours online playing together then started chatting about real life stuff. Then talking on the phone. It got serious. We lived 1000 miles apart so I took extra time on a business trip and visited him. It didn’t seem possible but we clicked even more in person than previously. There were other things going on so we continued long distance for another 18 months. I didn’t want to move forward and live together until my younger child went off to college, plus I had huge trust issues from my marriage.

    Eventually, he moved in with me as I was more established and had a better job. The first year was a period of adjustment and acceptance but we had built a history of talking about things so we worked it all out. That was 12 years ago and we are deliriously happy.

    It’s a gorgeous weekend in Silicon Valley. He’s house sitting so I’m enjoying a little alone time and pampering myself.

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    GatorGirl April 30, 2012, 8:36 am

    Sorry I’m late to the party! I was at a 3 day Bachelorrette party in Charleston SC for my fiance’s little sister all weekend.

    My fiance and I were long distance for just about 3 years- 900 miles in between. I moved last June to be with him while he finished up his Phd, and we got engaged April 1! ๐Ÿ˜€

    My favorite wedding memory so far has to be at my fiance’s wedding last year I caught the bouquet and he caught the garter. Sure enough we were the next couple to get enageged!

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    • avatar

      Anonymous April 30, 2012, 5:39 pm

      “my fianceโ€™s wedding last year”

      weren’t you guys getting married? who catches their own bouquet and garter?

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