Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

My friend, Sarah Brown, posted this on her tumblr the other day and I thought it was great:
“Pick an age you’ve been and sum it up in ten words or less.” This was hers:
“25: I hope the pizza guy can’t tell I’ve been crying.”

Here’s mine: 28: The box said it was supposed to look natural.

You can read a few others here. Wanna play?

By the way, Sarah is creator and host of the monthly adolescence-celebrating reading series, Cringe, where “brave souls come forward and read aloud from their teenage diaries, journals, notes, letters, poems, abandoned rock operas, and other general representations of the crushing misery of their humiliating adolescence. It’s better and cheaper than therapy.” She is also author of the book, Cringe, which you can probably surmise is a collection of teenage writings from a host of funny contributors.

104 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Taylor September 14, 2012, 4:14 pm

    34: How the fuck did that happen?!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    bethany September 14, 2012, 4:15 pm

    21- Wait- Not everyone walks their guinea pig on a leash?

    Reply Link
  • MaterialsGirl

    MaterialsGirl September 14, 2012, 4:16 pm

    22: summer of the Gym, Rice-cooker, wine dinner dance party

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 4:33 pm

      That’s kind of your current age too.

      Reply Link
      • MaterialsGirl

        MaterialsGirl September 14, 2012, 5:47 pm

        every year is like that!

        Link
  • avatar

    kerrycontrary September 14, 2012, 4:23 pm

    18: Man I love college.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      bethany September 14, 2012, 4:31 pm

      18-rest of life- Man, I love(d) college! 🙂

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      SpaceySteph September 16, 2012, 3:00 pm

      Aw 18 for me was “Man, I can’t wait to get out of college.” Then 22-present is: Why didn’t I appreciate college?

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    ktfran September 14, 2012, 4:23 pm

    30. It’s time to put on my big girl panties.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 4:26 pm

    22: I’m lost. I guess I’ll go to law school.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 4:28 pm

      And this is what led me to that:
      5-18: When I grow up I’m going to be a doctor.
      19: C in chemistry? No medical school for me.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 4:30 pm

      God this is so fun, I can’t stop. How about this one:

      15: Ewww, BJ means what?! I’d never do that.

      Reply Link
      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster September 14, 2012, 4:44 pm

        LOL! My friends and I still have a notebook that we kept in which we signed a pledge to never ever give a BJ (it wasn’t a creepy abstinence pledge we were just like ewwww no!).

        I’m pretty sure I was the first one to make that contract null and void. hahahaha.

        Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 4:42 pm

      20. One day I want 5 kids.
      25. One day I want 3 kids.
      30. I think 2 kids would be great.
      33. You know, just 1 kid would be ideal, but soon.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        scattol September 14, 2012, 5:57 pm

        I though that was pretty much a done deal by now

        Link
  • avatar

    Desiree September 14, 2012, 4:29 pm

    17: I shouldn’t have asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

    Reply Link
  • Lili

    Lili September 14, 2012, 4:30 pm

    26: Holy Hell, I’m responsible for my own emotional well being?!

    Reply Link
  • samantha

    Samantha September 14, 2012, 4:35 pm

    25- So this is THE guy.

    Reply Link
  • katie

    katie September 14, 2012, 4:39 pm

    18- so THIS is what christmas is.

    Reply Link
  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny September 14, 2012, 4:44 pm

    22- The world just got a little smaller!

    Reply Link
    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny September 14, 2012, 4:45 pm

      One more:
      20- the summer all my girlfriends and I were single. It was also the summer I became very very sad.

      Reply Link
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle September 14, 2012, 4:49 pm

    22: But I just went out last nigh– Oh well, see you at 8!”

    Reply Link
  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow September 14, 2012, 4:49 pm

    19: Where the party at?

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    bethany September 14, 2012, 4:54 pm

    18: How’d it get to be 2am already?!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    va-in-ny September 14, 2012, 5:08 pm

    22: Shouldn’t have said yes.. the second time.

    Reply Link
  • Cara

    Cara September 14, 2012, 5:22 pm

    16: Sex is alright. Nothing special.
    17: I don´t want to wear a bikini, I´m too fat.
    18: I must have a low libido, my boyfriend wants so much sex.
    22: MY ex had an unnaturally high libido.
    23: Do I have a high libido? My bf wants less sex than I do. Am I too fat?
    25: Nobody wants to have sex with meeee.
    25: I wish I had my 17 year old body back.
    26: Sex is wonderful and while I could stand to lose a few pounds, I love my body.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 5:37 pm

      Just wait until you hit your 30s! You are going to die. Like, in a good way. Or just be incredibly incredibly incredibly frustrated.

      Reply Link
      • Cara

        Cara September 14, 2012, 6:26 pm

        It get´s even BETTER? OMFG! I die. Literally, that last time I had sex was so good and exhausting I couldn´t even THINK properly. Lily might be able to confirm that.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 7:37 pm

        You had sex with Lili? That’s the best DW gossip evah.

        Link
      • Cara

        Cara September 14, 2012, 7:44 pm

        HAHAHA, well, now you´re jealous, huh!

        Link
      • theattack

        theattack September 16, 2012, 6:52 pm

        Seriously, I think I can speak for AP here and say that we’re going to need some details…

        Link
      • Cara

        Cara September 16, 2012, 8:41 pm

        haha, before rumors start flying; I had amazing sex and THEN met Lily for lunch. There was very much a penis involved in the amazing sex.

        Link
  • theattack

    theattack September 14, 2012, 5:30 pm

    18 – Everclear is clear like vodka, so it must be the same!

    19 – I’ll just sleep out on my boyfriend’s porch so I can hose off the puke tomorrow.

    20 – My professor posted all the notes online, so I never have to go to class again!

    21 – Shit, maybe I should start trying at life

    22 – I’m going to save the world and get awesome jobs with this degree!

    23 – If I give you a sad pouty face will you hire me pretty pretty please?

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Kerrycontrary September 15, 2012, 5:36 pm

      Omg…I’m dying over the first two. Why werent we best friends in college?

      Reply Link
      • theattack

        theattack September 16, 2012, 6:51 pm

        haha, It’s never too late! I feel a new phase of drinking coming on in my life.

        Link
  • TaraMonster

    TaraMonster September 14, 2012, 4:40 pm

    27: I’m single. For the first time in my adult life. NOW WHAT?

    …I’ll be 27 next Saturday…

    Reply Link
    • JK

      JK September 14, 2012, 4:42 pm

      hmm… I think we need an update!

      Reply Link
    • Lili

      Lili September 14, 2012, 4:42 pm

      So its official? Hugs. Been waiting for an update on how you were doing!

      Reply Link
    • Fabelle

      Fabelle September 14, 2012, 4:50 pm

      UPDATE!!

      Reply Link
      • Fabelle

        Fabelle September 14, 2012, 4:51 pm

        (I realize I never posted on that situation, but I was creepily lurking :-\ ha)

        Link
    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster September 14, 2012, 4:50 pm

      I’m so not updating that thread. Lol. Yeah. It’s official. I’m living with a friend temporarily and the goal is to figure out the logistics of the split (furniture, finances, apartment) in about a month. We’re actually on really good terms even if it’s fucking weird as hell that he’s still my best friend and we’re still in love. :/

      Reply Link
      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster September 14, 2012, 5:00 pm

        I just can’t update it because I’m just pretty sure if I go over it one more time that my head will explode. When that feeling subsides, then I will update. Promise. 🙂

        Suffice it to say that I’m OK and just taking it day-by-day. And contemplating moving to another continent to escape him.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 5:10 pm

        Think of the adventure ahead of you and all the sites you will see and all the food you will eat and all the new friends you’ll make along the way! … Exciting!

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 5:12 pm

        *sights. but whatever it’s too late for me to even pretend to correct typos and misspelled words and whatnot.

        Link
      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster September 14, 2012, 5:18 pm

        Not gonna lie- I’m feeling an Eat, Pray, Love journey is in order! Minus all the parts that have to do with love because until further notice, being in a relationship is not on the menu!

        Link
      • avatar

        jlyfsh September 14, 2012, 10:14 pm

        thinking of you, tara! an adventure sounds perfect 🙂 if i was closer i’d meet you for wine and tell you that you’re stronger than you know and you’ll make it through this ok in person!!

        Link
      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster September 14, 2012, 10:42 pm

        Thank you! I know I am and I’ll be ok it just sucks, ya know? And I’d love to meet you for a glass of wine! Idk where you live, but if you’re ever in NYC let’s do it (and if you’re ever in NYC that would be a perfect time for our loooong overdue DW NYC meetup!).

        Link
      • Cara

        Cara September 15, 2012, 10:08 pm

        ahem… I´m going to be in NYC in late October/beginning of November? Meet up then? It would be completely awesome, because I don´t think I´ll get the chance to come to the US again within the next two years…

        Link
      • avatar

        jlyfsh September 18, 2012, 12:37 pm

        i definitely understand it sucking and i’m really sorry! 🙂 the next time i am in ny i will let you know. one of my best friends lives on long island. i know she would encourage any trip to ny she could!! 🙂

        Link
  • avatar

    applescruffs September 14, 2012, 5:51 pm

    25- Dr. What? Oh shit, that’s me, and I obviously know what I’m doing…

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    painted_lady September 14, 2012, 6:04 pm

    19 – I want a man who doesn’t just want to bone.

    23 – I don’t have to date him to have sex? WHEEEEE!

    27 – How did I become one-night stand girl?!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Ladybug September 14, 2012, 6:09 pm

    23–thyroid problems suck
    26–I survived law school and never want to practice, so what the hell do I do now?
    28–If I just keep breathing, sooner or later this feeling that I’m slowly bleeding to death inside will ease up.
    32–Holy shit, somehow I’ve morphed into an actual grown-up who’s happy with her life!

    Reply Link
  • TaraMonster

    TaraMonster September 14, 2012, 5:11 pm

    I broke the rules on my last one with multiple sentence. So let’s try this again!

    17: HOLY SHIT I HAVE BOOBS.
    18: Lots of guys want to touch my boobs, yaaaay!
    19: I’m a feminist so look at my face, not my boobs!
    20: I’m going to get my PH D right away and be an English professor!
    21: If I’m gonna pay Sallie Mae $400 a month I better get a good fucking job.
    22: Having my own apartment is the best fucking thing to happen to me ever.

    I think I may be addicted to this.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 14, 2012, 5:20 pm

      10. I don’t ever want boobies!
      12. I would DIE if I had boobies.
      14. Maybe little boobs could be nice.
      16. I hate life b/c I have the world’s smallest chest.
      18. They say some guys like little boobs.
      20. Gaining weight is not bad, at least you get boobs.

      Reply Link
      • theattack

        theattack September 14, 2012, 5:31 pm

        22. Why didn’t all of that weight go to my boobs?!?

        Link
      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster September 14, 2012, 5:34 pm

        This reminds me to add:

        16: MY MOM HAS NO BOOBS AND I WILL NEVER HAVE BOOBS EITHER.

        Since I think you all know my mom is mentally ill, the following will not surprise you:
        Mom: I prayed those onto you. I told you prayer works.

        She was dead serious. She insists I should thank her for them to this day even though my dad’s mom and sister are DDs, so I think it’s fair to say I got them from his side. I’m shaped just like my mom though so I was CERTAIN they would never grow. I spent a fair amount of my teen years obsessing over my boobs/lack of boobs.

        Link
      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster September 14, 2012, 5:49 pm

        I totally didn’t read the rules. It’s 10 words or less. I just made up my own rules in my head (one line? one sentence?). And I get paid to carefully read and implement guidelines for a living. FAIL!

        Oh well. I’m blaming it on breakup brain!

        Link
  • avatar

    Christy September 14, 2012, 6:20 pm

    19. God I hate my employer, I hope I never work here again.
    23. I was a fool, a good salary and benefits rock.

    22. I may hate library school but I sure like this girl.

    16. OMG I have the biggest crush on Will O’Donnell.

    10-12. Middle school would be the worst even without a back brace.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Sarah September 14, 2012, 5:50 pm

    24 –

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Sarah September 14, 2012, 6:21 pm

      13 – No boy will date me.

      19 – Hey that boy will date me.

      22 – I MUST DATE ALL THE BOYS.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Taylor September 16, 2012, 2:31 pm

        Do you follow hyperbole and a half? Your 22-line reminded me of “Clean ALL THE THINGS”.

        Link
  • avatar

    HmC September 14, 2012, 6:51 pm

    19. My jeans keep shrinking in the wash!
    20. Oh, no more chili cheese fries at midnight. And run!

    27. I can’t live without him.
    30. I can totally live without him.

    Reply Link
  • Classic

    Classic September 14, 2012, 6:55 pm

    30: Hey, I finally totally feel like a grown-up.
    40: Did he just call me “Ma’am”?

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    applescruffs September 14, 2012, 7:12 pm

    22-Relationships are stupid and I’m a free spirit!
    27-Wanna maybe think about getting married someday? A little?

    Reply Link
  • Tracey

    Tracey September 14, 2012, 7:54 pm

    45: I finally am the confident woman I always knew I could be.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Sue Jones September 14, 2012, 7:59 pm

    19 – I am following the Grateful Dead with my new boyfriend.
    23 – What took me so long to break up with my boyfriend?
    23.5 – I met the love of my life!
    25 – The love of my life dumped me, pass the kleenex!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    LS September 14, 2012, 9:36 pm

    13-19: OMG MY LIFE IS OVER.
    20-23: Oh life goes on huh? That’s cool. This is awesome!

    Reply Link
  • FireStar

    FireStar September 14, 2012, 10:06 pm

    24: I forgot. What name are you using tonight?

    Reply Link
    • Cara

      Cara September 16, 2012, 1:56 pm

      Weird. I only forget which name I use. Or which accent.

      Reply Link
      • FireStar

        FireStar September 16, 2012, 8:39 pm

        Oh I’d forget my “name” too!
        My best friend and I sucked at it though. We would still call each other by our real names (both distinctive) in front of the guys we gave wrong names to.

        Link
  • avatar

    aibhlinn September 14, 2012, 10:54 pm

    45: (today) my family has no idea how much it hurt me that they all forgot my birthday

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy September 15, 2012, 12:12 am

      Happy birthday, fellow virgo!

      Reply Link
    • chicotia

      Chicotia September 15, 2012, 12:20 am

      Happy birthday!

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      bethany September 15, 2012, 12:37 am

      Happy birthday!!!

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Sarah September 15, 2012, 3:21 am

      Happy Birthday!!

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 15, 2012, 7:12 am

      Happy happy happy birthday, aibhlinn!

      Reply Link
    • JK

      JK September 15, 2012, 7:49 am

      Happy Birthday!!!

      Reply Link
      • JK

        JK September 15, 2012, 8:48 am

        ps. You share a birthday with the boyfriedn I had when I was 15, he was such a sweetie!!! So good people must be born that day 🙂

        Link
    • avatar

      Amanda September 15, 2012, 11:31 am

      Happy Birthday! 🙂

      Reply Link
    • FireStar

      FireStar September 15, 2012, 12:20 pm

      Happy Birthday!!!

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Taylor September 16, 2012, 2:32 pm

      Felicidades!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        aibhlinn September 17, 2012, 1:02 pm

        Thanks everyone! 🙂

        I admit to being in the midst of a pity-party of one when I posted that. A good night’s sleep and knowing it wasn’t intentional helped put it all into perspective. Life happens sometimes, things and events get in the way and I do have a pretty spectacular family…all of whom love me a ton. I have nothing to complain about! Except turning 45, which in itself is a whole other post ha!

        Thanks again 🙂

        Link
  • avatar

    bethany September 15, 2012, 12:34 am

    31- I gOt drunk tonight with my parents at wine club… Is that ok?
    Ps- I am drunk 🙂

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Bethany September 15, 2012, 10:28 am

      27 – He LEFT me because he didn’t feel “in love?”

      29 – We were going to adopt and now he wants a divorce?

      31 – I’m making out with a 25 year old by the river….I rock!

      31.5 – He is a doctor, who owns his house, pays his bills, and cooks?! Sign me up!

      34 – WHAT I am MARRIED for a second time?!?! It’s okay, I got this…. 🙂

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        bethany September 15, 2012, 9:10 pm

        I can’t handle 2 bethanys!! 🙂

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 16, 2012, 6:36 am

        What, me neither! It’s like that time we had an Amber and amber – I can’t deal with this.

        Link
    • avatar

      Amanda September 15, 2012, 11:33 am

      I don’t know what a wine club is, but it sounds fabulous! I’m jealous 🙂

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Blitzen September 15, 2012, 12:40 pm

    16- the best version of me I ever was
    24- why the eff did i do medicine?!?

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Wendys Dad September 15, 2012, 1:27 pm

    66-Glad to be here. Looking forward to the rest.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 15, 2012, 3:18 pm

      WD, you know what would be fun for everyone? If you were to tell stories about Wendy – you know, the funny/embarrassing things that she did. Like, the one time she did that one thing in front of you know who and so and so was so mad! If Addie Prays Dad were still alive – and knew what a blog was and how to comment (ha!) – he’d tell you that I used to eat dog food under the table and that I used to hide food behind my dresser so it would be there later when i was ready to eat it. Your turn, except tell us the really scandalous stories you have. If you reply to this comment it will be kept private – she won’t be able to see.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Wendys Dad September 16, 2012, 4:56 am

        Oh, my dear, sweet Addie Pray. It’s true that I was born at night, but it was not LAST night. I think I’ll leave those stories for Wendy to tell. After all, I’m counting on her to take care of me in my old age.

        BTW, as you know, I go way back. Do you know what we used to call Stephens girls?

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 16, 2012, 6:33 am

        Oh those Stephens girls… do tell!

        Link
      • avatar

        Wendys Dad September 16, 2012, 11:32 am

        Actually, AP, it wasn’t so much what we called the girls but what we called the institution. It was known as “Stephens School for Nymphomaniacs”. Well, I guess that was also what we were calling the girls. Alas, I didn’t go to school in Missouri, so I missed out on all the fun.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 16, 2012, 12:25 pm

        Ahh, I’m understanding better now why my brothers (who did go to Mizzou) always had girlfriends from Stephens. 🙂

        Link
  • avatar

    Witchmom3 September 15, 2012, 5:46 pm

    18. Yes I’m married and NO, I’m not pregnant.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    flobobjenrob September 15, 2012, 6:59 pm

    38: Am I brave enough to change my whole life?

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Taylor September 16, 2012, 2:34 pm

      Yes.

      Reply Link
  • katie

    katie September 16, 2012, 8:52 am

    22- wow my friends are shitty

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Anna September 16, 2012, 12:37 pm

    28 – Who knew living alone was this awesome? Ooh, he’s cute.

    21 – I’m still conscious on Saturday night. Time to drink more.

    18 – If I sign here, I get this new Jeep? SWEET!!!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    SpaceySteph September 16, 2012, 3:03 pm

    22: The year I was fucking stupid. And fucking Stupid.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      rachel September 16, 2012, 5:13 pm

      I wish I was only fucking Stupid for one year

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    quixoticbeatnik September 16, 2012, 11:36 pm

    18 – I can’t wait to go to college!
    22 – I can’t wait to graduate from college!
    Also at 22 – I wish I had more friends who live near me.

    College has not been the greatest experience for me. But whatever, I still got the rest of my life to make awesome, I guess.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    E September 17, 2012, 12:14 am

    18: I hope people like me.
    20: More than a little self-righteous towards a relative/friend.
    21: Eh. People fuck up and make bad choices. The world isn’t black and white. There’s a whole lotta bad and good in all of us. Ditched the self-righteous attitude.
    22: Never want to go home. Love living abroad.
    24: Happy in my hometown of Los Angeles, but kind of want to move to another big city just to try something different. Feeling the urge to wander again. Employment situation not stable, but financially stable so a move would be feasible. Need to stop drinking red wine and reading Dear Wendy on Sunday nights when I should be cleaning/doing laundry 🙂

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Jamie September 17, 2012, 8:56 am

    31 – Seems so much younger than 30.

    Reply Link

Leave a Comment