Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

This month, Lucinda Williams, one of my favorite musicians, is celebrating the 25th anniversary of her self-titled first album, from which this song, “Side of the Road,” which I love, is from. I just wanted to play it for you.

Join Zipcar and get $25 in free driving

Speaking of “side of the road,” I faced one of my big fears today: I drove to New Jersey and back (and I didn’t have to pull to the side of the road)! A friend of mine came with me this morning for moral support, and I drove through Brooklyn, Staten Island, NJ, and downtown Manhattan (including Chinatown at lunchtime, oy). I drove across scary bridges and through long, long tunnels, and around various road blocks and obstacles. And I survived! And now I can handle anything! Or, you know, just driving to NJ again, which I’m planning to do on Sunday — with Drew and Jackson in tow this time — when we go to our nephew’s birthday party in the ‘burbs.

Next on my list of fears to face is public speaking. I’m thinking some time in the next year I will do something that involves public speaking. And if I survive that, then next on my list is taking a 4-minute elevator ride, because seriously, is there anything scarier than that?

67 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Christy September 13, 2013, 4:12 pm

    Where is there a 4-minute elevator ride?

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Christy September 13, 2013, 4:13 pm

      Also yay for facing your fears! I think my big fear that I should face soon is spending the night alone in my apartment – I still haven’t done that yet.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        kerrycontrary September 13, 2013, 4:18 pm

        omg Christy! You need to do that haha. Once you do it a few times its fine. Unless you wake up with a bat flying around your room, like me.

        Link
      • avatar

        Christy September 13, 2013, 6:24 pm

        LOL I know, I know.

        I’d been trying to figure out my fear that I should face. I couldn’t think of anything until I remembered that. Woops.

        Link
  • avatar

    kerrycontrary September 13, 2013, 4:21 pm

    I’m not really afraid of doing anything. I guess I don’t like being the center of attention, but I can deal with it.

    TGIF! My life has been insane lately and I can’t wait to just hang out this weekend, work out, and clean (who else looks forward to cleaning? or I guess having a clean apartment).

    Reply Link
    • Copa

      Copa September 13, 2013, 4:33 pm

      I love weekend cleaning! I don’t really clean much (aside from obvious stuff like my dishes) during the week. Weekends are when I deep clean everything and I love a clean living space.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        kerrycontrary September 13, 2013, 4:50 pm

        Yeh I feel total relief when everything is vacummed and wiped down. I tidy up every night but I’m like you, no real cleaning during the week.

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 13, 2013, 4:54 pm

        Yep, same. I call it choregasm.

        Link
  • raptor

    gillociraptor September 13, 2013, 4:23 pm

    A four-minute elevator ride sounds terrifying. I hate elevators. I will take the stairs unless it’s horribly impractical. People talk about the idea of a space elevator like it will be the greatest thing ever, and I think it’s horrifying.

    I’m also really scared of walking and driving over bridges. And being on a top floor in a tall building.

    Basically, I don’t like anything that can collapse with me in it.

    Reply Link
    • Copa

      Copa September 13, 2013, 4:32 pm

      What’s a space elevator? It SOUNDS horrifying, whatever it is.

      Reply Link
      • raptor

        gillociraptor September 13, 2013, 4:58 pm

        It’s exactly as it sounds! An elevator to space:

        Nightmare-inducing!

        Link
      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb September 13, 2013, 6:31 pm

        Oh. My. God. You couldn’t PAY me to ride a space elevator.

        Link
      • avatar

        d2 September 14, 2013, 8:47 am

        Oh that is cool! Where do I sign up? Five days up, five days back down. That would be the ultimate destination vacation. (Where did you go on your vacation? Space.) The sights would be amazing!

        For me, ten days at a beach resort or on a cruise ship would be torture – by lunch time of the first day, I would be bored out of my mind. The only thing worse would be spending ten days at a shopping mall. (There are such things as vacation packages to the Mall of America.)

        Link
  • Diablo

    Diablo September 13, 2013, 4:28 pm

    Saw Lucinda at the Winnipeg Folk Festival in 2011. Awesome!

    Reply Link
  • mylaray

    mylaray September 13, 2013, 4:35 pm

    Try Toastmasters for public speaking! I used to be very, very shy and that helped a ton and I met a lot of awesome people through that. Yay for facing your fears though. I have one fear I refuse to face, and I avoid it at all costs. Maybe someday.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      lets_be_honest September 13, 2013, 4:55 pm

      What is it???

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      rachel September 13, 2013, 4:55 pm

      You’re not gonna share? Are you afraid we’ll all try to convince you?

      Reply Link
    • mylaray

      mylaray September 13, 2013, 5:12 pm

      Ahh, I’m just kinda embarrassed about it…I hate hate hate swallowing pills to the point I avoid it at all costs. I don’t know how I’ve made it this far in life. My fiancé keeps trying to get me to try recently, and it’s so hard for me! I had a bad experience as a kid with choking and all that. I know I need to try it someday though.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Christy September 13, 2013, 6:26 pm

        Naw man, it’s ok – my stepmom takes baby aspirin for this reason. At least you can practice with mini M&Ms when you decide to face your fear! Right, bright side, right?

        Link
      • Copa

        Copa September 14, 2013, 9:15 pm

        Does anyone else remember the first time they swallowed a pill? Mine was so traumatizing that I still remember it very clearly. I was 11, my family was on vacation in South America (traveling down the Amazon), and I needed to swallow a malaria pill (but couldn’t). I kept trying and failing. I started crying and my mom, exasperated, told me I was going to die of malaria if I didn’t take it. So I spent what felt like hours attempt to swallow the tablet — it was probably more like 15 minutes, haha — which tasted awful once it started slowly dissolving in my mouth. I eventually succeeded, but that night was so dramatic!

        Tip: practice with small pills (or something comparable?) and full glasses of water. Drink like you’re thirsty (several gulps of water!) and you’ll be surprised that the pills just kinda disappear 🙂

        Link
      • mylaray

        mylaray September 14, 2013, 10:39 pm

        That does sound dramatic! Haha, I think I was also about 11 the first time I tried and it took a really tall glass of water before I was able to do it. It’s funny Christy mentioned M&Ms because I choked on one when I was really young making me so fearful of pills.

        But today I started coming down with some sort of really bad throat and lymph node pain and I’m going to the doctor tomorrow and I’m sure this is a sign I need to try and swallow pills again. So I’m going to try!

        Link
    • avatar

      AliceInDairyland September 13, 2013, 6:27 pm

      My boyfriend does Toastmasters!

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Rangerchic September 13, 2013, 4:52 pm

    My husbands grandmother has the same name! And we are celebrating her 100th birthday tomorrow. I can’t believe she is 100 years old….exciting!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Addie Pray September 13, 2013, 5:06 pm

    Hi guys what have I missed this week? Am I the only one who is shocked Wendy has a fear of public speaking, considering how well she speaks publicaly here? I guess it’s different. I don’t mind public speaking when I’m prepared. I hate it on the spot though because I just drive myself crazy afterward thinking of all the better things I could have said! I had to give a presentation to a high profile client and their workforce the week before last and I made the mistake of encouraging questions – and at the end I got a doozy and I am still thinking of all the better answers I could have given. And add to it the seriousness of the client relationship and ugh. Anyway, yea, it’s scary. But my biggest fear – or most recent one that I had to face – is driving around twisty roads in the mountains, the kind where one mishap could land you in a ravine hundreds of feet below. So scary!

    What else? How’s everyone doing? Happy late birthday, Wendy.

    Reply Link
    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow September 13, 2013, 6:40 pm

      HIII AP, I MISSED YOU.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 13, 2013, 7:04 pm

        Aw thank you! You’re my favorite. I’ve missed you!

        Have I missed anything big? I come home tomorrow. I’m going to miss it here. Oregon is my new favorite state, and I need to find a job in Portland. I thinki was meant to live here! A few years ago I took one of those dumb online tests that ask you a ton of questions, some obvious, some less obvious, and then it spits out the top 10 US cities for you; and I got Portland as the #1 city for me. And now I know why!

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 13, 2013, 7:32 pm

        Yeah, I think I took that too. I can’t remember where it told me to live, but I do remember that ONE of the top choices for me was Henderson, NV. Which is basically Las Vegas. I mean, the Henderson folks think they’re all that and a bag of chips, but whatevz. I’m a Vegas girl. Interestingly enough, St. Louis grows on me the longer I live here. I wish I could transport this city to a different climate, though.

        ANYWAYZ, I don’t know what you missed. I’m bad at summarizing. If you want to know about MY life this week? Well, let’s see, I worked out a lot, and took a lot of baths, and went to belly dance class kinda drunk, and skipped TWO of my other actual classes, and I’m planning some roadtrips while I still have 4 day weekends, and I’ve been watching a lot of X-Files, and I discovered cornichons which are tiny little pickle thingies, and I ate the whole jar in 2 days and then drank all the juice. That’s it in a nutshell!

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 13, 2013, 10:20 pm

        Yes that’s exactly what I wanted to know! I love cornichons. That’s French for pickles. But they do have a different taste than dill… My 3-year old nephew loves them too. He’s so weird, he’ll eat a jar of cornichons over candy any day! He also likes wine I’ve learned. I have to watch my glass around him or else he’ll try to drink it. He’ll so take his dirty fingers and stick them in my glass and suck on them, then dip again and suck, and repeat.

        What else is new? Heard from the Chicago lawyer since your bad sex? I have a date with a guy I met at MG’s wedding when I get back. I can’t wait. We’ve been emailing a bit ever since and he seems so nice.

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 14, 2013, 8:30 am

        Yay for your date! What are you going to do? I haven’t heard from the lawyer, and I don’t expect to, haha. But don’t worry. I am going to make up for all that with good sex. Soon, very soon.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 14, 2013, 9:15 am

        Oh oh with someone new and it’s certain? Or is this just positive thinking?

        We are going to a wine bar after work on Monday. I hope I like him! Wr didnt get to chat too much at the wedding – and most of our convo was across the table with 2 others in the conversation. So we shall see! But I’ve enjoyed his emails.

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 14, 2013, 9:35 am

        I’m going to have ex sex. It is certain.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 14, 2013, 11:46 am

        Get it girl.

        Link
  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow September 13, 2013, 5:17 pm

    I was talking about this yesterday, actually. Growing up, I was never afraid of heights, but I have developed the fear as an adult. The thing is, it’s purely a physical response. Just watching someone on TV or in a movie who is up high somewhere (especially on a building ledge) will make my palms sweat and my heart race and all the other fight-or-flight things. (Thinking about it right now made my palms sweat). Logically, I’m not all that scared, though, and I haven’t avoided heights since my “fear” began. I still go on ferris wheels, and drive over high bridges, and I’ve even been on one of the rides on top of the Stratosphere. I just can’t avoid the physical fear response. I make myself feel it, and I can talk myself through it, but it still happens every single time.

    I get it sometimes now with bugs too, even though I’m not logically afraid of most of them. I screamed today when I saw a spider. It was like an automatic reaction. I never used to do that!

    Reply Link
    • beelzebarb

      beelzebarb September 13, 2013, 6:34 pm

      I’m the same way with heights! I wasn’t afraid at all when I was growing up. I was in Paris a few years ago and I went to the top of the Montparnasse Tower. It was really windy. I almost had a panic attack. I was totally surprised by it since I’d been up there when I was a teenager, also on a windy day, and I just thought it was so cool. What is up with that?

      Reply Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 13, 2013, 7:22 pm

        Right? So weird! It was just like, one day I wasn’t afraid of heights and the next day I was.

        Link
      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb September 13, 2013, 7:56 pm

        Well, I’m definitely relieved to know that I’m not the only person that’s been ambushed by a new phobia for no apparent reason. Another thing is that most people who are afraid of heights say that the worst part is when you look down. For me, I cannot look up. My legs go weak and I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach. Ugggggh. I also NEVER drive in the right lane on bridges. Ever. Even if I’m stuck behind a smoke-belching dump truck that’s going, like, no miles per hour. It annoys the crap out of my husband but I don’t care.

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 13, 2013, 8:26 pm

        Yeah, bridges used to bother me a lot. Not just bridges, but ramps that are up high and curvy. Those are the worst. I have recurring nightmares of losing control of my car and flying over the edge of a tall, curvy ramp. I just kinda make myself deal with it, though. It’s kind of like mind over matter? I feel the fear physically but in my mind I assure myself that it’s OK.

        Link
  • avatar

    Rosie September 13, 2013, 5:28 pm

    Loved this song! Thank you so much for sharing it. I went to buy it and can’t find it on iTunes (or even Spotify). Bummer dude.

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy September 13, 2013, 6:06 pm

      It’s been out of publication for ten years. 🙁

      Reply Link
  • lemongrass

    Lemongrass September 13, 2013, 6:09 pm

    Warning: I’m about to brag. I just bought an ipad and I’m stoked!

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 14, 2013, 4:09 pm

      So do you love it? Do you remember life pre-IPad? I don’t have one. Considering I got my first iPhone less than a year ago, it’ll probably be years before I break down and get iPad, unless you tell me I’m REALLY missing out, am I?

      Reply Link
      • Copa

        Copa September 14, 2013, 9:05 pm

        You’re not missing out! I love my iPhone an embarrassing amount (I only hopped on the smartphone bandwagon in January), but I barely touch my iPad. I received it as a gift and while I love it in theory, I rarely use it as anything more than an alarm clock. I DO like it for travel, but it’s not something I would have ever purchased for myself just for the 2-3 trips I take per year.

        Link
  • avatar

    Holly September 13, 2013, 7:38 pm

    Scariest thing I ever did: walked up a very, very steep escalator (it was turned off) in high, wobbly heels, for three stories. I kept looking back and feeling like I was going to lose my balance. I’m afraid of heights and escalators and those shoes were very unstable. Eeeek.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    sarita_f September 13, 2013, 10:55 pm

    I wouldn’t say I conquered a fear, necessarily. But certainly accomplished something I had been nervous about and dreading – we had to slaughter our rooster tonight. And we did it!

    I used to be vegan.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 15, 2013, 12:19 pm

      Oh man! Did you eat it?

      Reply Link
  • katie

    katie September 14, 2013, 10:58 am

    ah, i just got home from being in PA all week (mon-fri, which is not normal and so long when you finally do it!), and we got the email that we are going back while we were having celebratory margaritas at the airport. damn it.

    at least next week will be short, just mon-weds. and then thurs i have my gyno appointment and then hopefully its going to an IUD for me.

    jake got invited by his regional chef to go a football game tomorrow which is awesome. not only does jake love football, but he will be able to network and schmooze like crazy. except that he will be wearing packers stuff, so in all honesty he might just get beat up. but this means that i get almost all of sunday to myself! which is sad but nice.

    and as predicted, my house is a fucking mess. ugh. maybe sunday will be cleaning day? yuck.

    Reply Link
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle September 14, 2013, 1:49 pm

    This weekend has a lot less things going on for me than previous weekends, & I’m pleased. I’m about to go to my boyfriend’s & sit at his computer so he can clean without getting distracted by the internet—& that plan is totally fine by me (I’m going to burn CDs, because my computer here is not allowing me to do that? I need a new car mix & also I’m in a CD swap on The Hairpin… guyss we should totally do a CD swap one day for DW)

    Err what else? I wrote the first draft of my article for the website I’m doing pro bono work for now, & the feedback was “This reads well, good job” so I don’t even think I need to make any edits? Either I’m awesome, or they’re just happy to be receiving work of any kind. I don’t know, but I feel good about it. haha.

    Reply Link
  • Lyra

    Lyra September 14, 2013, 2:21 pm

    The weekend has been pretty boring. I have SO MUCH work stuff to get done so that’s always fun. I spent last night curled up on my couch drinking wine and watching fluff movies by myself, which was awesome. Today has been cleaning/work stuff. Tonight is my best friend’s birthday festivities. Dinner, drinks, maybe other shenanigans. I still need to bake her cake…hmmm. Tomorrow will be more cleaning and more work stuff. My life is so exciting! Haha.

    Reply Link
  • Copa

    Copa September 14, 2013, 3:36 pm

    So far I’ve spent this weekend cleaning/packing, and debating whether or not I should try to delay moving back out of my parents’ house for another couple weeks in light of an interview I’m trying to line up for this week (or next) in another state. Ho hum. I don’t really want to stay here much longer, but I’ll also feel pretty stupid if I have to pay to break a lease after living somewhere for one week. Hmm. HMM.

    Reply Link
    • Lyra

      Lyra September 14, 2013, 5:12 pm

      I would wait until after the interview. That way you know for sure where you need to live.

      Reply Link
      • Copa

        Copa September 14, 2013, 6:11 pm

        Yeahhh, I’m leaning toward that even though there’s a chance nothing will change. If I stay put (in terms of job), I’ll have to start apartment hunting all over again since I confirmed on Friday that aside from the apartment I reserved (that I’d get the keys to later this week), there are no openings until February at that apartment complex. I think it’ll be worth it, though, in the long run because I know I’d regret not at least interviewing no matter what the outcome. Sigh. Even though nothing has happened, this situation (or non-situation? since nothing has happened yet) is really stressing me out, haha.

        Link
  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland September 14, 2013, 5:46 pm

    I have my first exam Wednesday, and so I am trying to get a head start on that… I also made two batches of Tomato Jam and a batch of Green Tomato Salsa, so that’s productive. Tonight I think BF and I are going to go on a date somewhere, and do something. 🙂 We are so decisive. Then tomorrow an old friend is coming for dinner and to look at all our adorable animals, so that makes me happy.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      vizslalvr September 14, 2013, 8:11 pm

      Good luck on your exam! I know you do all sorts of canning and cooking … so, do you have any recommendations for a jam or other recipe for bad peaches? Like, mealy, not flavorful peaches? I’m sick of taking a few bites and throwing them out because they are so not worth it, and the CSA has insisted on giving me at least half a dozen every week for the past month.

      Reply Link
  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow September 15, 2013, 2:57 am

    I’m gonna put this here so I don’t forget it. I saw a fortune teller tonight. She said she sees marriage in my near future. I told her I’m not thinking about marriage at all. She said I should be open to my friends setting me up, and the guy will be tall with sandy hair, and I will be in a relationship SOON. Also, she said I will get a job soon and I will move out of my apartment, and a trip I am looking forward to will be canceled or postponed! I am planning lots of trips and I want none of them to be canceled. 🙁

    (P.S. I don’t believe in fortune tellers at all, but I’m putting it here so if anything happens later I can be like, WHOA THE FORTUNE TELLER SAID SO. Because life is more fun that way).

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray September 15, 2013, 8:31 am

      Haha that’s funny. How much does something like that cost? I hope you didn’t pay too much!

      You guys, I took four cab rides last night. And I picked up the tab at one of the bars. I’m scared to look at my credit card statement. Also I feel sick this morning. Can someone bring a breakfast burrito to me in bed this morning? I’ll pay our cab fare, which appears to be my new hobby.

      Reply Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 15, 2013, 8:48 am

        Don’t worry, they work on tips. You give what you want, but most people do $5 – 10. My bar tab last night was effing ridiculous, though. Holy shit, I can’t believe we drank so much.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 15, 2013, 9:14 am

        Also how does it work? Like do you sit down with her and does she hold your hand and hum or does she say a chant or does she stare at you intensely or does she just rattle off your fortune right after meeting you? Or does she ask questions first? I have no idea. There’s one a few store fronts up the street from my condo – I should pop on and do it.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 15, 2013, 9:50 am

        I just ordered a pizza. I wonder if the delivery guy minds bringing it to me in my bed.

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 15, 2013, 1:53 pm

        AP, tell me more about this pizza. Describe it in pornographic detail.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 15, 2013, 3:09 pm

        Welllllll, the hour wait between when I ordered the pizza and when it finally hit my mouth was pure torture. Just the anticipation of it got me all hot and bothered. When the delivery guy finally rang I was so excited I forgot to put pants on. It didn’t matter, the exchange was so fast I don’t think he noticed – he slipped the box in my hand, I slipped my cash into his, and he disappeared into the dark stairwell. I ran back inside, shut the front door with my hip and plopped the pizza down on the counter. … I can’t really tell you what happened next. It all happened so fast it’s a blur. That poor pizza didn’t stand a chance; it wasn’t my finest hour.

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 15, 2013, 12:38 pm

        Everyone does it differently. One guy did a tarot reading for me and wanted me to ask a specific question. One lady asked me my date of birth and read my palm. The lady last night asked me my date of birth and then just did a tarot reading. She didn’t tell me to ask a question. I know nothing about tarot, but she made me pick one of the queens first (I chose the one that had a cat on it, duh) and the cards were kind of in a circle pattern.

        Link
    • avatar

      Bethany September 15, 2013, 1:19 pm

      I love psychics! It’s so fun!

      Reply Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 15, 2013, 1:45 pm

        Jesus, I read that like 7 times and each time thought you said you love “physics.” I couldn’t figure out who you were talking to or why you would say that. I guess I killed too many brain cells last night! Yeesh!

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 15, 2013, 5:55 pm

        I read it as “I love physicals!”

        Link
  • katie

    katie September 15, 2013, 12:13 pm

    today is the first real fall day in chicago, i think. its so chilly, i busted out a hoodie!

    and now i dont even want to go do my errands i just want to sit here with my cat under a blanket. thats acceptable, right? and anyway im supposed to be watching the bears game to see if jake gets on camera. how long are football games anyway?

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Sue Jones September 15, 2013, 12:41 pm

    We live near the floods. Our house is fine, but many of my friends had 3-5′ of floodwater in their basement. I have friends who are stranded up canyons in mountain towns, and friends whose house was completely demolished. It is pouring rain again. I have had lots of kids at our house this weekend since our house has fared well in this storm.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Bethany September 15, 2013, 1:20 pm

    I’m home from vacation!!! It feels like I was gone for a month. It’s nice to be home and see my cats, and sleep in my bed. What did I miss over the past few weeks??

    Reply Link

Leave a Comment

Next Post: Previous Post: