Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

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Yesterday, my good friend Matt — he used to contribute to the His Take columns — came to visit us from Chicago. He’s in town to perform in tonight’s improv festival but he came in a day early so he could hang out with us, and it was so nice to have him here, even for a short visit. This morning, Jackson and I rode the train in to Manhattan with him and met Drew, who was able to take a break from work, and the four of us strolled through Central Park for a little while, which is where we took the photo above.

I’m biased, but I think New York is the best place to be in the fall, and Central Park, specifically, is where it’s at. There are about three precious weeks of the year when the weather and the foliage are at its peak and right now we are right in the middle of it. It was a great morning.

Then I had to go and totally screw up my good mood by taking Jackson to the Trader Joe’s on the Upper West Side because we weren’t too far away and I figured I could pick up a few things we might need in the coming days. Big mistake. It was so crowded there and they don’t let you take strollers on the escalator so we had to wait for an elevator which, I shit you not, was like a ten minute wait. Which maybe doesn’t sound like forever, but it feels like it when you have a whiny toddler who is tired and just wants to go home (and you have almost an hour commute still to go). I should have just left, but I took the elevator down stairs and put some stuff in my basket and then I had to wait for the damn elevator again and I just… I couldn’t. But there was no way back upstairs. I mean, there was an escalator, but they had a bouncer guarding it like it’s made of solid gold and if I dare even tried to take a stroller on the escalator, we would have been shooed back to the elevator.

I felt stuck. And I can’t stand feeling stuck. So, I started panicking. And, of course, that made Jackson panic. So, he’s crying and I WANT to cry and oh, it was just terrible. Spoiler alert: the elevator finally came eventually, after we waited close to ten minutes again, but I abandoned our basket in an aisle, which I feel guilty about, and literally just ran out of the place as soon as the elevator doors opened and we were deposited near the exit. The thought of standing in line for another 20 minutes waiting to pay for our salad dressing and pretzels while we both continued melting down was just, no. I just couldn’t.

Anyway, I hadn’t had a feeling of panic like that in a long time, so I guess that’s good. I used to get near-panic attacks pretty frequently. Being afraid of crowds and closed-in spaces makes living in NYC a little challenging sometimes, but for the most part I’ve gotten a good handle on my phobias and neuroses. Today was a throwback though. At least we had a nice walk in the park first.

Next week, remind me to tell you about this awesome recipe from November’s Bon Appetit that I tried last night. Plus, my new boots I love. Actually, I think it’s about time for a Fall Favorite post. Next week! In the meantime, what’s up with you and what are your weekend plans?

137 comments… add one
  • avatar

    bethany October 18, 2013, 4:05 pm

    Wendy, you have the best hair ever. It’s not fair. I’m super jealous.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy October 18, 2013, 7:32 pm

      That’s nice of you to say, thanks. I haven’t had it cut in almost five months (my stylist has been really sick and has to keep canceling our appointments and I don’t want to go to anyone else) and it looks bad to me, but I’m glad in this photo anyway it doesn’t look terrible.

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  • avatar

    Morgan October 18, 2013, 4:09 pm

    I’ve had a pretty awesome week. Lot’s of good news about interviews, another law school acceptance letter, and a promotion (with raise!!) at work. So those have been exciting developments. I do work tonight and tomorrow, but Sunday is my day off, so I’ll get to enjoy brunch with friends and then the Ravens-Steelers game which, even if the Steelers definitely aren’t good and the Ravens are probably not good, is still always an exciting game. So I have high hopes for the weekend.

    It has been hard with everything going right (so far. fingers crossed knocking on all the wood, etc) for me with future plans, because nothing has worked out for the bf yet in terms of med school acceptances. And he’s been happy for me as I’ve gotten good news, but I know it must be hard to watch me hear good news after good news when the only news he’s heard so far is bad news.

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    • avatar

      Christy October 18, 2013, 6:02 pm

      Ooh we play the Steelers this weekend? I am SO not on it this year.

      Reply Link
      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 19, 2013, 5:32 pm

        (Football?)

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      • avatar

        Morgan October 19, 2013, 10:48 pm

        Yes, football!

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 20, 2013, 2:05 am

        (I didn’t know that either)

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  • avatar

    TECH October 18, 2013, 4:16 pm

    Ugh, this has not been a good week for me. I’ve had lots of anxiety and stress, and then I came down with a bacterial infection. I’ve been going to work through it but it sucks. I just hope the antibiotics kick in soon. 🙁

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    • avatar

      starpattern October 18, 2013, 4:18 pm

      Aww, I hope you feel better very soon!

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  • avatar

    starpattern October 18, 2013, 4:22 pm

    I am having a great day/week/hopefully weekend. This is my second day back at work from the furlough, we get full back pay deposited next Friday, I enjoyed many days at home/on my motorcycle enjoying the excellent weather, and I am wearing the first ever dress that I made during all my free time. 🙂

    I had forgotten how bad daytime network TV is, though. If I were at home during the day I would have to get cable.

    Tomorrow I’m running a 5k that might kill me because I’m lazy and haven’t been running much, and then eating brunch with my friend.

    Hope everyone has a great one!

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    • mylaray

      mylaray October 18, 2013, 4:38 pm

      That’s awesome you made a dress. 🙂 What type of dress?

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      • avatar

        starpattern October 18, 2013, 5:19 pm

        Thanks! I used one of those Simplicity New Look patterns, very simple sleeveless bodice with a couple pleats around the neckline and a full knee length skirt. I used a linen and it is unlined so it is really more of a warm weather dress… but I was too excited not to wear it, so I just threw on a sweater and wore it anyway 🙂

        Lots of lessons learned, haha. Including: invisible zippers are not like other zippers, and pattern sizing is not always according to the measurements on the envelope…

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      • mylaray

        mylaray October 18, 2013, 5:56 pm

        That’s a nice style. At least you made it despite the troubles. I used to give up so easily because patterns can be so tricky sometimes.

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      • avatar

        starpattern October 18, 2013, 11:12 pm

        It certainly helped that it is such a simple style, so it was fairly easy to make the adjustments.

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      • avatar

        starpattern October 18, 2013, 5:22 pm

        Here’s the pattern! I used view B, but with a regular belt instead of the fabric one.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl October 18, 2013, 7:42 pm

        That is cute! Is the smallest size an 8? Did I read that right? How do people smaller use the pattern? Hmmm.

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      • avatar

        sarita_f October 18, 2013, 8:47 pm

        Hey GG – This may be outdated advice since I haven’t touched a sewing machine in 20 years, but you actually need to look at the measurements on the back of the pattern packet (Hip/waist/bust at least, usually) to figure out the corresponding size. My mom sewed a lot of my clothes growing up and IIRC the sizing used on those patterns haven’t changed in donkey’s years, while vanity sizing in actual retailers is totally a thing. So, if you wear a 2 at Old Navy you may be up to an 8 in dress patterns based on the old static measurements.

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      • avatar

        starpattern October 18, 2013, 11:09 pm

        Thanks! Yeah, what sarita said about sizing – PLUS, I learned it is a really good idea to look up pattern reviews before hand, because even though the measurements are on the envelope, the pattern did not necessarily follow that sizing and you probably have to make some adjustments anyway… I read that some brands tend to run bigger or smaller, etc. This one ran a little small. A lot of patterns are split up though, you can buy like the 6 to 12 version or the 12 to 18 version.

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle October 18, 2013, 4:22 pm

    Oy, my friend is in town, so I hung out with him & my other friend last night, we all went out, & I only had two shots of tequila, but since I got home at 3 in the morning, my body HATES ME today. This weekend I’ll probably see them again & do it erppp (up? sorry) before he leaves, but I need to rest first. The plans for tonight are staying in with my boyfriend to eat & sleep. And hopefully he & I will do fall-related activities at some point, maybe Sunday?

    Also, you know how I’ve been super good not smoking cigarettes? I don’t know what happened, but last weekend I bought a pack (well, there’s what happened…) & smoked one on Friday, one on Tuesday during my Hell Commute, & a bunch last night. And my friend (the one who’s visiting) at one point was like, “Oh, you still smoke menthols? Here!” & gave me a pack. Shiiit

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle October 18, 2013, 4:24 pm

      Also it really feels like the work day should be over, god damn it. Why is it only 4:23?

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    • rawkmys0cks

      rawkmys0cks October 19, 2013, 12:35 pm

      Oh man, that’s how it starts again. I also get back into smoking like that. It’s like oh, stressful thing happening? Let’s just buy one pack…or friend who is smoking while we’re out drinking, let me just have one…and then I buy my own pack while I’m drunk. It sucks. And my fiance and I just feed off of each other. Like oh he’s smoking again because xyz work situation? Let me have one! That happened recently. Or when I was taking the LSAT I took up smoking again and got him back into it. We’re both quitting again now and he just gets soooo grumpy. Not fun!

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  • avatar

    cdobbs October 18, 2013, 4:39 pm

    anybody else a total freak for halloween? this is definitely my favorite time of year….pumpkin flavored everything….halloween with scary movies and mini versions of all the good candy….i’m taking my nephew shopping tomorrow to get his halloween costume (he is 2) so that should be cute (although I have no idea what he should be…..should be a good weekend regardless

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 18, 2013, 4:47 pm

      Yes, I love Halloween! It has all the awesome parts of a great holiday – costumes, good things to eat, parties – without the emotional baggage!

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 18, 2013, 8:50 pm

      YES YES I am obsessed with everydamnthing associated with Halloween. I can’t contain my excitement.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 19, 2013, 5:32 pm

        I think I’m gonna go as Veronica from Heathers.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 20, 2013, 2:06 am

        WHAT! Best. Idea. Ever.

        I approve. And I will totally know who you are even though everyone else will be like, “Wha…?”

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray October 18, 2013, 5:03 pm

    Hurray for fall! My all-time favorite season. I’ve had a bad week myself that I think only this weekend can fix.

    First, I have been SLAMMED at work and even more so because I’m the only one here in my group right now until my boss returns from vacation. So I get called onto all these emergency personnel matters and I got to do it because I’m the only one who can and it’s been one fire drill after another and I’m exhausted. My brain is exploding. I want some mindless busy work, for just like a second. Is that so much to ask? That said, I do love this work and the client contact and the level of responsibility so I am over all really happy with my new job (new-ish, I’ve been here almost 1.5 years already) – I just wish I had like an extra hour for each task, ha. So that’s work.

    But I’m also still sick (finishing Week 3) which has sucked. I’m trying to treat this coughing as my New Normal and go about my life; except I can’t work out because HOLY SHIT it hurts my chest and I can’t breathe. I went to the doctor today – to my favorite doctor – she’s so lovely I just love her to pieces; I wish I could put her in my pocket. She gave me some new meds so let’s see if this works.

    That reminds me I need to go back to the hospital for an x-ray, I almost forgot! I couldn’t get it done when I saw her this afternoon on account of work so I need to remember to do that in the am. Will someone remind me?

    In other news, I had a really shitty date this week that made me cry – I literally was crying as he drove me home because it was just so pathetic. I pretended the tears were “wow, coughing my lungs out is making me teary eyed” tears. But I was actually just quietly tearing up at how pathetic the dating pool is at my age of 34. It’s like self-respect and a relationship are mutually exclusive. Gotta give up one for the other. So singlehood it is.

    Anywayyyyyyy, this weekend will make it better. Why? I have dinner plans tonight at a French restaurant with a French coworker and we will be speaking in just French. So that’s fun. Tomorrow I have… oh my x-ray – who the hell is going to remind me? I need to be on Michigan Ave by 8 am, k? – then I have early dinner plans with a friend who is going to prison (long story) and then after that I’m going to see Margaret Cho – I love stand up!

    Sunday I’m going rollerskating for a friend’s birthday – she’s 39, not 9, but it’s gonna be fun!! I predict I’ll tear my ACL for the 4th time as that always seems to happen when I put on skates. That reminds me I need to wear my knee brace. Who the hell is going to be responsible for reminding me to wear my brace? I need a personal assistant.

    Also, I’m working from home right now and the Viking guy came out to service my oven, which turns out is working just fine, it’s the damn electric socket that was not working. Why? Oh because I needed to click the reset button. Oh. That was an expensive lesson. This is why I should not be a home owner. It’s like when the AC guy came out to service my AC that was rattling and it was b/c the screw to the vent was loose. Oh. Fuck me, I can’t handle home ownership. The good news is that the Viking guy is HOT and oh my god as soon as he left I had to take a shower.

    I have more to say. I feel like I always have so much to say but then when I think about it I have said nothing but it’s like I’m dying to tell you guys more – it’s so weird. I actually have this burning desire to be sure to remember to tell DW about my thought about X, Y or Z – it’s like you are really people. But it’s like the same as me needing to tell close people in my life. I’ll actually think “don’t forget to call mom and DW about X.” See, you guys are like my mom.

    Btw I need a mom so bad. I still have no fucking clue what the difference is between Advil, Tylenol, Aspirin, IB-whatever, etc. I feel like only moms know what those things do. And I have a headache so I just take one of each. (Bad idea?)

    Oh my god I”m so out of breadth from typing, if that makes sense. Sigh.

    Reply Link
    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson October 18, 2013, 5:11 pm

      I <3 you.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 19, 2013, 11:33 am

        I ❤ you!

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    • Lyra

      Lyra October 18, 2013, 5:36 pm

      At least your date wasn’t creep-tastic like mine was this week! A 35-year-old guy who still lives with his mother and sister, doesn’t have a job, texted me 15 times in less than 10 hours, is paranoid of the CIA, is apparently an online preacher (it came out in his weird gobbledegook texts) and is a complete NUT JOB.

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 18, 2013, 6:25 pm

        Oh dear God. That’s…wow.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 19, 2013, 11:38 am

        You definite win (or lose?) as far as bad dates go? Mine wasn’t that bad; mine was just more of a disappointment. But whaddyagonnado?

        I’m already having the best weekend. I’ve had my chest X-ray and now I’m catching a matinee – Enough Said. Then I’m off to Native Foods for a vegan lunch… And per my new fitbit I’ve already walked 3,000 steps. And it’s not even 11 am – yay!

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    • Roxy_84

      Roxy_84 October 18, 2013, 5:38 pm

      Tylenol and aspirin are the same, Advil and Ibuprofen are the same. Advil is the one you should take for hangovers or whatever because aspirin mixes bad with alcohol.

      If it makes you feel any better AP, my dating pool at 29 sucks too. I think it just kind of sucks all around after you’re out of school….

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 18, 2013, 5:50 pm

        Ugh, it’s like impossible for me to get this straight.

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      • avatar

        Christy October 18, 2013, 6:11 pm

        Tylenol isn’t aspirin! Tylenol is acetaminophen – which you can OD on if you take too much. Aspirin, in small doses, can help prevent heart attacks.

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      • Imsostartled

        Imsostartled October 18, 2013, 6:02 pm

        I don’t think Aspirin and Tylenol are 100% the same although they do both work on headaches.

        Also, don’t take too much acetaminophen!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 18, 2013, 6:13 pm

        Wait, what’s acetaminophen?

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 18, 2013, 6:15 pm

        acetaminophen is the ‘drug’, tylenol is the name brand!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 18, 2013, 6:18 pm

        Why can my brain not process this information?

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      • theattack

        Theattack October 18, 2013, 11:02 pm

        You need to pay attention to the ingredients of drugs rather than brand names, btw. It’s much more important so that you notice if you’re taking something twice. For example, if you’re on the pain killer Lortab, it contains acetaminophen (Tylenol) then you couldn’t also take Tylenol because that’s acetaminophen. You could take ibuprofen if needed, however. Also ibuprofen is better for pain and headaches because it reduces swelling in addition to killing pain, so it attacks the problem at the root in many cases, like when you have a pressure headache or if your ankles swell like mine and cause horrible debilitating pain. Acetaminophen is just a temporary bandaid, and if you take too much it can apparently cause weird mood/emotional issues. As in I was nearly misdiagnosed as bipolar once when I was taking too much Tylenol.

        Obviously I’m not a medical professional. All of that is an accumulation of observant experience or advice from my doctor or nurse mom.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 19, 2013, 11:35 am

        Thanks!

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      • Imsostartled

        Imsostartled October 18, 2013, 6:20 pm

        Woops! I forgot to say acetaminophen was tylenol haha. I see how that was confusing AP.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 18, 2013, 8:54 pm

        Aspirin is actually an NSAID like ibuprofen. Tylenol is different. They both reduce pain and fever, but aspirin and ibuprofen are both anti-inflammatory. Tylenol can be bad for your liver, NSAIDs can be bad for GI bleeds. Some people take low-dose aspirin for heart problems.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 18, 2013, 10:49 pm

        Ok this is making it all confusing. How about we do this. Tell me what I should take for each of the following: (1) headache; (2) cramps; and (3) fever.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 19, 2013, 9:39 am

        Ibuprofen (Advil/Motrin), aspirin, and naproxen (Aleve) are all NSAIDs = non-steroidal anti-inflammatories, so like theattack said above, take one of those for anything involving swelling or inflammation. Definitely take ibuprofen for cramps. Take any of those, or acetaminophen, for fever. Kids can’t have aspirin. Don’t take Tylenol/acetaminophen if you have liver problems, and don’t take NSAIDs if you have problems with GI bleeds or renal failure.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 19, 2013, 11:34 am

        Gosh have you considered a career in nursing?? 😉

        I thin what I’ll do is text you whenever I feel like I need something…

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 19, 2013, 11:19 am

        What Cats said, but I take ibuprofen for everything. Sometimes aspirin for headaches, if I want to switch it up. Tylenol just doesn’t even work with me.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 19, 2013, 11:35 am

        I do ibuprofen for everything too. It’s easiest.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 19, 2013, 11:44 am

        i love ibuprofen. it’s my go to for anything that ever bothers me. but never take it on an empty stomach! i might have done that once with both aspirin and ibuprofen. made me feel like my stomach was trying to eat itself…..

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh October 18, 2013, 5:59 pm

      APppppp my dogs can wake you up tomorrow like they do me every day at 6:15 does that work?

      Also you’re awesome and I’m sorry your date sucked!

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster October 18, 2013, 5:35 pm

      Addie! I decided that I want to torture myself for 3 years and be in massive amounts of debt in a bad job market.

      What I’m trying to say is I’m studying for the LSAT. Am I crazy? Well, yes, I am. But am I???

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 18, 2013, 5:40 pm

        I personally LOVED law school. It was just a really good time for me. … But I realize I may be in the minority!

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 18, 2013, 6:24 pm

        I’m in law school right now and I LOVE it too! If you’re in the minority, you’ve at least got company 🙂 TaraMonster, go for it and good luck!

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      • rawkmys0cks

        rawkmys0cks October 19, 2013, 12:39 pm

        Good luck!! I”ve taken it twice so far. I’ll probably do it one more time just because I know I can do better? but yeah, it’s a process! And sometimes the LSAT problems can be fun.

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 19, 2013, 4:48 pm

        Omg, someone else who thinks that LSAT questions are fun!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 19, 2013, 5:38 pm

        Count me in too! So one of my most memorable toys I got from Santa was a stocking stuff that was this plastic thing with one die in the middle and 6 dice around it. And you would shake it and then put it down and the numbers would be all different, and you had to come up with an equation so all the dice on the outside of the circle added or subtracted or divided or multiplied or any combination had to equal the die in the middle. And it was so fun and I’d just sit there for hours and shake it and make up equations and shake it and make up equations… Anyway, when I was studying for the logic questions it was like I kept thinking about that game and how much it directly shaped my logic thinking skills – I mean, they’re not the BEST BEST but i was always really damn good at those. Reading comprehension was harder, haha. I still have that toy. I have no idea where Santa found it but it was my favorite. All the other stuff I’d get so bored with. Oh that and my pogo ball. Remember those pogo balls? I had a pogo stick too but the pogo ball was my favorite.

        Also I just got a big girl hair cut. I usually go to cheaper walk in places like the clip joint or super cuts but today I went to salon that was fancy! … And $100 later, now I realize why I don’t make a habit of that. But my hair got done perdy!

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      • avatar

        Morgan October 19, 2013, 10:49 pm

        Dude, practicing logic games was so much fun!

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      • rawkmys0cks

        rawkmys0cks October 20, 2013, 11:40 am

        The logic games are definitely the most fun. I’m really burnt out right now on the thing, but I’ll go for it again in a few months 😛

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 20, 2013, 1:42 pm

        This is blowing my mind. I seriously thought I was the only one who loves the logic games! Confession – I still do practice questions when I’m bored and I started law school a year ago. AP I had that equation toy and a pogo ball too. I loved both. I definitely have scars on my knees and elbows from the pogo ball. So worth it.

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      • rawkmys0cks

        rawkmys0cks October 20, 2013, 6:07 pm

        They are just so satisfying when you get it…and seeing how quickly you can finish one. I once did one in like four minutes flat. Super proud of that one 😛

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 20, 2013, 8:54 pm

        Nice!!! I love that there are so many super-nerds around here 😀

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster October 20, 2013, 5:22 pm

        I think it’s fun too!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 19, 2013, 5:33 pm

        oh me too – the LSAT was super fun. (No sarcasm.) I just really like logic games.

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  • Lyra

    Lyra October 18, 2013, 5:47 pm

    Tonight my best friend is coming over so we can drink and knit/crochet and watch movies because we’re AWESOME. I didn’t have school today so I took a nice loooong afternoon nap which felt so amazing. And I went to the library today! I love the library. I could live there.

    Tomorrow morning I have to go to a school open house for work. Tomorrow night I’m going on a date with a guy I met last weekend. He’s a nice guy, though we have some major differences — for example, we have completely different political views. He also earns literally 5 times as much as I do, which is quite honestly pretty intimidating. He owns a 4-bedroom house and 3 cars and I feel that I can barely make rent every month. We had a great conversation over coffee last weekend though so I’m excited to see him again. I think on Sunday I’m going to go shopping because I’m in desperate need of some new dress clothes and I want to get another pair of boots…it is fall after all!

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  • mylaray

    mylaray October 18, 2013, 5:52 pm

    I love your top Wendy!

    I have to work tomorrow, which is rare, but I’m going to the LGBTQ conference in town so it should be fun. Last weekend, my fiancé and I went to Pride, and it was awesome, but exhausting. I hadn’t been day drunk (more like wasted) in awhile. Hopefully I can sleep a ton and be lazy on Sunday.

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  • CurlyQue

    CurlyQue October 18, 2013, 6:02 pm

    This week was pretty terrible for me. I’ve mentioned a couple times on here that my mother has (had) metastic breast cancer and two weekends ago her oncologist sent her to the hospital for heart and kidney failure! It was touch and go but she pulled through. 🙂 But she decided that she was done fighting and being in pain and that she was done. So… they stopped treatment and she was taken to a hospice house last week, and yesterday morning we got the call that she had passed away in her sleep.

    And it’s just so freaking hard!! I’m comforted that she was ready to go, and isn’t in pain anymore BUT i miss her, ya know?

    My teachers & work have all been great through this process but i’m behind on everything and i’m not looking forward to going back to everything on Monday. So basically i’m just sad and whining.

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    • Imsostartled

      Imsostartled October 18, 2013, 6:07 pm

      I’m so sorry CurlyQue. I’ll be thinking of you!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray October 18, 2013, 6:17 pm

      Aw CurlyQue I am very sorry for your loss. I love you!

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh October 18, 2013, 6:20 pm

      I’m so sorry CurlyQue.

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny October 18, 2013, 6:39 pm

      I’m so sorry CurlyQue!

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 18, 2013, 6:47 pm

      **hug**

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    • othy

      othy October 18, 2013, 7:00 pm

      I’m sorry for your loss! *Hug*

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy October 18, 2013, 7:36 pm

      Oh, no! I’m so sorry for your loss!! Please be gentle with yourself.

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    • avatar

      sarita_f October 18, 2013, 8:54 pm

      Oh, I’m so sorry CurlyQue. Hugs.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 18, 2013, 9:04 pm

      I’m sorry, CQ. 🙁

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    • avatar

      d2 October 18, 2013, 9:45 pm

      I’m sorry for your loss CQ.

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    • CurlyQue

      CurlyQue October 19, 2013, 12:13 am

      Thank you all so much!! I haven’t had any alone time since the news, and i plan on taking some time tomorrow night to just wallow in it. Go through all my old cell phones and see if i have any voice mails from her to record, turn off all the lights and just cry in bed i think it’ll be really good for me.

      I started seeing a counselor at school a couple months ago, and so far he’s been really helpful about making me be kinder to myself (at least through treatment/hospital/hospice) so i’m sure he’ll be helpful when i tell him monday.

      I also want to say how great this community is. I know i’m 97% a lurker (not 110%, sorry GG 🙂 ) and you guys still offer such kind words and it’s really appreciated. This whole experience w/ my mother has really opened up my eyes to the large support network i have in real life (and that i could have here if i talked more), it’s really humbling.

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh October 18, 2013, 6:02 pm

    TJs is always so crowded. I was close to one last weekend and by the time I could have gone I was done with people and crowds.

    This weekend is going to consist of me, my couch, a bottle or two of wine and season 2 of downton abbey, finally. what are they on now season 5?

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny October 18, 2013, 6:38 pm

      There’s a TJ’s near me and the parking lot is a ZOO. And the store itself is even more of a zoo. It’s just not worth it to me to battle those lines and all of the people who are so wrapped up in themselves that they run smack into you!

      Annnnd Downton Abbey is the best!!! I think they’re on season 4? I can’t wait til it starts up, or when, my coworker gives me her downloaded episodes, whichever is first!

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      • othy

        othy October 18, 2013, 7:01 pm

        My coworker just got back from London, where she was able to watch the first 2 episodes of season 4 (the current). She said it was great, but laughed because the rest of us have to wait until January to see it in the US.

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny October 18, 2013, 7:42 pm

        It’s so unfair!! I want to watch the Christmas episode actually near Christmas, not in February!

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      • avatar

        sarita_f October 18, 2013, 8:56 pm

        I’m with ya, Moneypenny. And I have a lot of close family/friends in the UK & Ireland on my facebook feed. So in order to not have to hide from my feed until January, I invested in a service called Graboid. I have no idea what Graboid is doing to make it all legal, but I’m paying for *something* so I feel that’s legitimate enough…?

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      • avatar

        Jessi October 20, 2013, 1:50 am

        Ha! Graboid is totes illegal. It’s basically Limewire/Kazaa but you pay for it. If you’re doing that, you may as well stream free on vodly or PrimeWire or LetMeWatchThis or movie2k. (I recommend none of those, and wait/find a legal way, but whatever).

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      • avatar

        sarita_f October 20, 2013, 4:25 pm

        I’m going to pretend I didn’t read this.

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      • katie

        katie October 18, 2013, 7:30 pm

        oh that is so sad! my TJ is never that bad!!

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 18, 2013, 9:05 pm

        I’m actually really grateful for my TJ right now!

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 19, 2013, 11:14 am

        yeah the closest one to me is 2 hours 🙁 and despite that I couldn’t force myself to go. I could go for some pinachios and roasted red pepper and tomato soup today!

        ahh yeah i am so far behind m actually gave me seasons 1 and 2 for my birthday last year and i still haven’t finished. one day! i mean i love it so i don’t even know what my problem is!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray October 19, 2013, 11:50 am

      So is that really good, Downtown Abbey? Should I start watching?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 19, 2013, 11:58 am

        Yes! I just saw that season 1 isn’t on Netflix anymore!!! But, you should still buy/rent it from somewhere. And if you have Netflix and you like Downton Abbey you should watch Call the Midwife too. I really enjoyed that. It’s about a group of midwives in post WWII England.

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  • sobriquet

    sobriquet October 18, 2013, 5:15 pm

    We’re having an engagement party NEXT weekend and I’m getting super stoked about it. It’s fiesta themed (since our wedding will happen in Mexico) and there will be fajitas, tamales and margaritas, plus all the wine. A friend of my mom’s has a winery apparently and so he’s furnishing! My mom is hosting it, but I can’t help myself from doing every little thing I can. I made the invitations and a questionnaire for guests to fill out when they arrive. I plan to make some churro cupcakes and a bunch of signs to hang above the food and drink stations, written in Spanish. Oh and we’re gonna blow up a bunch of balloons and hang pictures of us on them. Thank you, Pinterest. OH and I’m wearing this dress:

    The only thing I’m worried about is my soon-to-be SIL, who lives 3 buildings down and has not RSVPed. Her husband (fiance’s brother) RSVPed with zero guests, so. We’re fine that she’s not coming, but I’m worried about the potential awkwardness whenever my fiance’s family comes into town for the party next weekend. I mean, his dad is probably going to STAY with them. We’ll more than likely all get breakfast the next morning. Does she just skip all of it? Feign illness? Start drama (she certainly hasn’t hesitated to do so in the past)? What about the future events, like the couples shower and what not? Does she skip those, too? I shouldn’t worry, but it’s on my mind. I like to be prepared. And then what if she DOES come once she realizes all the family is involved? I don’t know what to expect with her. Oy.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson October 18, 2013, 5:31 pm

      Sob! You can’t tease us like that. You told us a while ago that you were going to fill us in on what went down with the SIL dramz. I need to know! Also that dress is really cute and if I weighed 30 pounds less I would wear it.

      Reply Link
    • Imsostartled

      Imsostartled October 18, 2013, 6:03 pm

      Yeah Sob, spill!

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 18, 2013, 6:45 pm

      Churro cupcakes?!! Recipe por favor!!!

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    • sobriquet

      sobriquet October 21, 2013, 5:08 pm

      Oh man, did I forget to update about that? It was all just a crazy mess that was blown out of proportion due to all the bullshit that had come before it. Is it cool if I update y’all next week? It turns out SIL IS coming to our engagement party and I’d rather not stir up the bad memories right before seeing her. Things have been so nice and peaceful since we’ve moved out!

      Here is the recipe for the cupcakes: http://www.ladybehindthecurtain.com/churro-cupcakes/

      Reply Link
  • katie

    katie October 18, 2013, 6:15 pm

    ok the funniest thing just happened. you know how no one knows anyone’s phone numbers and/or birthdays and stuff anymore because of technology?

    so its my birthday on weds. today there was a livingsocial deal for a massage in my town- perfect, right? so i posted on facebook “its my birfday and im buying myself a massage!” and now everyone is wishing me a happy birthday… haha. i wonder what is going to happen on weds when facebook actually tells everyone is my birthday? hilarious..

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle October 18, 2013, 7:23 pm

      haha dude, I saw that, but I also saw your comment like, “it’s not my birthday yet” so I actually went to go check (in your profile). That’s hilarious

      Reply Link
      • katie

        katie October 18, 2013, 7:28 pm

        lol, i really didnt mean to confuse everyone! i didnt even think this would happen…

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      • katie

        katie October 18, 2013, 7:31 pm

        and honestly, its not even a big deal -im not hung up on my actual, literal birthDAY- it was just so funny to see people react like that!

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    • Lady_Red

      Red_Lady October 20, 2013, 6:34 pm

      Haha. One of my friend’s husband was all paranoid about putting stuff on facebook, so he put in a fake b-day (I think he put something in May, when his real b-day is Groundhog’s Day, so not even really close). Anyways. when it said it was his b-day on FB, everyone started wishing him “happy birthday”, even people that had known him for like 20 years!

      Reply Link
  • TaraMonster

    TaraMonster October 18, 2013, 5:29 pm

    Oh Trader Joe’s… the allure is too great. Your products are so delicious and cheap! But your lines and crowds are TORTURE. I went to the Union Sq one last week, and it wasn’t TOO bad, but I seriously question my own judgment whenever I’m waiting on that line.

    Anyway. Guys. I’m back from Europe and I don’t want to be. Also, I’m mad at my brother because he was watching my cat while I was gone and now she has fleas. FLEAS. She’s never once been sick or had a tick or anything annoying since she was a kitten, but I go away for a few weeks and wham, scratchy scratchy, bitey bitey. I feel so bad for her! I gave her a flea bath this morning (which she was not a fan of) and she’s already scratching again. Plus, I’m scared the fleas are going to infest my apartment… has anyone had to deal with this before? HELP ME.

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh October 18, 2013, 6:17 pm

      Yeah fleas suck. If she has them again after a bath, they probably are in your apartment. You could try cleaning everything in your apartment, washing anything fabric in hot water and then giving her a CapStar which you can get at a pet store or I think your vet. CapStar doesn’t work long term but it will kill any flea on her right then, I think it’s effective for like 24 hours? If you have carpets that can’t be washed you can do a mix of baking soda and salt that you sprinkle, let sit for a few hours and then vacuum up. I think that mix dries out their exoskeleton and kills them? And is non toxic for the pets. Again fleas suck. Sorry!

      Reply Link
      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster October 20, 2013, 5:57 pm

        Thanks for the tips! She’s not scratching very much- a couple times a day maybe. So idk what that means. But I’m worried about her for another reason too. She’s throwing up a lot (and has been since before the bath). But it’s super gross. She literally throws up every time I feed her. Oy. I’m calling the vet.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 18, 2013, 8:58 pm

      I <3 Trader Joe's. I went yesterday but walking in disoriented me to the point where I thought I was in the wrong place. They renovated/expanded! It's great. It felt way less crowded.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        oranges October 20, 2013, 11:29 am

        We don’t have a Trader Joe’s where I am.

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny October 18, 2013, 6:42 pm

    This weekend I’m going to a music festival on an island with my dude who is arriving from LA in exactly 3 hours and 20 minutes! So exciting.
    This week has been crazy, as I’ve been busy working on a deadline, planning a reception for a conference that’s next week, and dealing with stress from my family. Basically- my sister is not speaking to my parents and myself because my parents have other plans for Christmas.

    Reply Link
    • katie

      katie October 18, 2013, 6:56 pm

      Oh god why do happy things like weddings and holidays and stuff being out the worst in people? Geez.

      Reply Link
      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny October 18, 2013, 7:40 pm

        I have no idea!! She (and my bro-in-law) totally blew up at my parents, and were demanding an apology and that they were being insulting. My bro-in-law was straight up yelling at my mom on the phone. All because they didn’t want to drive 3 hours? Or give up what they were already planning to do? I don’t get it. I’m staying out of it, myself, but she’s not even talking to me.

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  • othy

    othy October 18, 2013, 7:03 pm

    It’s my birthday today, and so far it has been lovely. Mr. Othy is taking me out for a fancy dinner. I can’t wait! I got me a new iPhone, and I’ve got dinner with friends tomorrow. Then we’re coming back to my house to play Cards Against Humanity. I’m love that game.

    Reply Link
    • Fabelle

      Fabelle October 18, 2013, 7:23 pm

      Happy birthday!

      Reply Link
    • katie

      katie October 18, 2013, 7:29 pm

      happy birthday almost birthday twin! haha

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      starpattern October 18, 2013, 11:20 pm

      Happy birthday!

      Reply Link
    • CurlyQue

      CurlyQue October 19, 2013, 12:18 am

      Cards Against Humanity is hilarious!! The most terrible things are usually the funniest.

      Reply Link
  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow October 18, 2013, 9:11 pm

    My love for fall and Halloween exploded this week! It finally cooled down and feels like fall. My apartment is about as decorated as it’s gonna get for Halloween, and the next couple weekends will be full of fun Halloween-y stuff. Tomorrow I’m going to a beer potluck party (yay!), wearing a costume of course. Then I’ll celebrate Halloween next weekend, AND possibly go out on actual Halloween since I have Fridays off.

    In less-good news, my school schedule got crazy. I now have clinicals from 7am – 3:30pm M – Th. So next week I have a buncha care plans to do, and I get a cardiac patient and a mental patient and I have to do a project for an adult day care and I’m NERVOUS because I barely got to do anything in clinicals last semester (I took vitals and wiped butts, seriously that’s it besides spoon feeding an old lady her crushed meds in apple sauce), and I don’t know what to DO, dammit. Plus, 7am? That shit kills me, haha.

    Reply Link
    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 18, 2013, 9:18 pm

      Ooh ooh! And we started a new belly dance choreo and I’m super-duper stoked about it! I will perform for the first time in December and/or February!! We’re dancing to Rammstein, haha.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      GatorGirl October 18, 2013, 10:41 pm

      I want to move and be your friend, beer pot lucks!!?? My dream

      Reply Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 19, 2013, 10:35 am

        Move here!! Haha.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 20, 2013, 3:57 pm

      Whoo! She said we had 42 brewers represented with 71 different brews.

      Reply Link
  • theattack

    Theattack October 18, 2013, 11:15 pm

    Yesterday my grandfather said that he was ready to die and be with my grandmother. I left work and then took off today too to be with him. He’s crying because he wants to die so badly, but then he had an amazing day clinically today. Mom seems to think it’s because I was joking around with him and lifting his spirits. He was so happy all day with me and laughed for the first time in six weeks, and then he cried and begged me to kill him. It’s torture. That’s really all that’s going on with me right now.

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    • CurlyQue

      CurlyQue October 19, 2013, 12:20 am

      I’m so sorry, that’s so terrible. 🙁 Death is really flippin’ difficult and i think it’s good you were able to help it not be in the forefront of his mind for a day. 🙂

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    • avatar

      d2 October 19, 2013, 7:46 am

      That has to be hard for both you and him. I worry about someday being in the position that your grandfather is in, having a medical condition from which you cannot recover and lead an active life, where all you can do is wait it out. I think that what you are doing, showing him love and making him smile like you have been, is wonderful. I would hope to have someone be there for me like that.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 19, 2013, 9:51 am

      That’s so sad. Hang in there, and remember that the moments of joy you bring him during this time are really valuable.

      Reply Link
  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow October 19, 2013, 1:03 pm

    Did you all see this gem?

    Gross.

    Reply Link
    • GatorGirl

      GatorGirl October 19, 2013, 1:24 pm

      Yuck. Did you read the other article linked? Just as gross.

      Reply Link
    • Fabelle

      Fabelle October 19, 2013, 1:59 pm

      Omg, poor eljay.

      Reply Link
      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 19, 2013, 2:04 pm

        I mean, to have her comment be used as that writer’s springboard for a “women need a master” philosophy 😐

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 19, 2013, 2:10 pm

        Right! I can’t believe people like that exist.

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 19, 2013, 6:58 pm

        Did you read the post that inspired it? “Don’t ever commit to a woman over 30, and be wary of committing to a woman over 25.” Really?! It creeps me out that someone is lurking on the message board, not because they just don’t feel like commenting but because they want to lift DWers’ comments and use them for misogynistic blog posts. Does that bother anyone else?

        Here’s the link to the original comment thread creeper’s blog post:

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 20, 2013, 2:18 am

        Ew ew ewww.

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      • avatar

        bethany October 20, 2013, 9:11 am

        But isn’t he kind of right in what he says? It’s gotta be pretty shitty for thes ‘nice guys’ to be told that they need to wait around for women to work through the losers and jerks before they’re wanted. I mean, I’m not one to talk, because that’s exactly what I did… But I think it’s sad that guys like my brother had to wait to get a real girlfriend until has mid-late 20s, because no o e wanted a nice guy.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 20, 2013, 9:46 am

        But, I mean does that mean that the opposite isn’t true? How many ‘nice girls’ have to wait around for guys to work through losers and jerks before they’re wanted? I mean it goes both ways.

        At the end of the day it has more to do with finding the right person at the right time. For every guy like your brother, there is a girl in the same situation.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 20, 2013, 10:33 am

        But that’s in no way universally true; it tends to be a school of thought that some dudes cling to in order to stoke their own bitterness. Like, uh, the writer of that blog (yeah @beelzebarb I do find it pretty disturbing that this person is just lurking on here to find comments he can use as a backdrop & argument for his twisted outlook)

        And why it is shitty? I mean, experimenting & sleeping around with jerks (or even just people who aren’t right for you) isn’t a behavior exclusive to women. That post is focusing on, oh, these poor guys who get left with the “dregs”… totally problematic, to put it lightly. Women who’ve slept around aren’t “used up”; that’s a false narrative that’s been created in order to idolize virginal women. Which is what that post is doing… among its other misogynistic themes. Just, ick. Ick. Ick.

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 20, 2013, 3:13 pm

        Right? I guess I’m supposed to feel bad for not marrying Free Northerner when I was 20. I should tell my husband that he made a mistake by marrying used-up, leftover me.

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      • katie

        katie October 20, 2013, 3:17 pm

        i dated nice guys all through high school and college, which means ive only ever dated nice guys.

        its not a “thing”. it doesnt happen. maybe your brother sucks at dating- who knows? i mean you cant pinpoint any one thing that causes someone to “wait” to have a “real” girlfriend. that happens to plenty of people, men and women, for all different kinds of reasons. what about the “slutty” people who have never had a “real” relationship because they are only ever liked for sex? what about them? you know?

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      • avatar

        Taylor October 20, 2013, 1:46 pm

        WTF. Those posts gave me the anger. There’s this sense of entitlement in the angst. I deserve a certain relationship, and not getting it gives me the right to behave in xx manner. Young men deserve to be treated a certain way, so young women must behave a certain way or get punished for it later.
        If you’re young, or middle aged, or old, and you have your heart broken, it sucks, and it always has. It’s nothing new. The heartbreak of young love is certainly not the decline of civilization. Free Northerner, if you’re reading this, you need a bigger world view.

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 20, 2013, 3:02 pm

        Yes!! In the future, if I make a sympathetic comment like eljay’s, I feel like I should address it to Free Northerner.

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      • Lady_Red

        Red_Lady October 20, 2013, 6:48 pm

        I started browsing the “16 commandments” and started thinking it must be commandments for getting laid, b/c it all just sounded ridiculous. But then at the end it says “The closer you follow the letter of these commandments, the easier you will find and keep real, true unconditional love and happiness in your life.” HELL NO! Make her jealous, don’t say “I love you” and keep a few chicks on the backburner definitely does not equal try unconditional love. How are there people out there that are so dumb?

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    • avatar

      eljay October 21, 2013, 9:16 am

      Wow. Just. Wow.

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