Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

MILES HALLOWEEN

Ooh, Halloween is in the air, can you feel it in your hair? Miles can! I think it was my sister who picked up this cat wig (and a matching one for Simone, who no longer lets me post her photos on DW) many moons ago. Every October, I pull them out of the box I store them in and force the cats to wear them long enough to snap a quick picture. This year, Jackson got a kick out of the wigs (which he calls “hats”) and says, “Halloween’s comin’ up!” a phrase Drew uttered a few days ago and Jack has been repeating over and over all week. (Or, because he knows he’s dressing up in an Elmo costume and he doesn’t quite understand the concept of it all, he’ll say: “Elmo’s comin’ up!”). I’ve been trying to teach him to say “Trick or Treat!” and also: “Thanks, but do you have any Tootsie Rolls?” Ooooh! Tootsie Rolls! I can’t wait.

Also! As I said in the forums, Christmas is two months from today, which I know sounds like a long way still, but here in NYC it’s suddenly freezing outside and now winter seems too-close on the horizon. Plus, Thanksgiving is just a few weeks away and for the first time in thousands and thousands of years, (the first night of) Hanukkah falls on Thanksgiving. Soo… for those of you who want to get a head start on holiday shopping, don’t forget about all the gift guides I created over the past year. (I’ll make new ones for this holiday season, but they won’t be ready for a few weeks. And in the meantime, if you have any ideas for stuff I should include on this year’s guides, lemme know.)

Happy weekend, everyone!

159 comments… add one
  • avatar

    bethany October 25, 2013, 4:08 pm

    I’m going camping this weekend. I’m afraid I’m going to die. The low where we’re going tomorrow is 30 🙁 I don’t know why I agreed to this!!!

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary October 25, 2013, 4:12 pm

      Nooo camping when its chilly is so fun! Just bring warm enough clothes, you’ll be ok. I’m jealous I actually would love to camp this weekend!

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      • avatar

        bethany October 25, 2013, 4:28 pm

        You can go in my place! I’ll even let you cuddle with Dave! 🙂

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    • katie

      katie October 25, 2013, 4:16 pm

      geez, camping has never sounded fun to me with warm temps… but with the cold too?? no thanks!

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary October 25, 2013, 4:19 pm

        I don’t like camping as much when it’s warm cause of the bugs. Cold=no bugs. Plus you get a big enough fire and your warm. And once you’re in your sleeping bag its no prob, bob. Hey everyone want to hear a funny camping story? One time my boyfriend and I went camping with 2 other couples. We all drank a lot. And then I had to throw up in the middle of the night, so I did that in the woods. But THEN I had to go number 2, and the bathroom was like 1/2 a mile away and it was in West Virginia and there were bears. So I woke my boyfriend up and made him take me to the bathroom so I could poo. He was not happy. But otherwise it was a really fun camping trip.

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      • avatar

        bethany October 25, 2013, 4:29 pm

        We camped a bit on our road trip this fall- One night I got scared of bears and slept in the car!

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      • Imsostartled

        Imsostartled October 25, 2013, 6:29 pm

        Bring lots of blankets and maybe something like this When it’s below 40F my nose always gets chilly in my sleeping bag, so this type of thing would help.

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  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland October 25, 2013, 4:12 pm

    A chill weekend! For once! We are going to a neighbor’s halloween bonfire for a little while tonight, and tomorrow we are going to a fun bar for a Halloween party/costume contest. I am also hopefully going to meet up with a friend who started a new job as a stripper so hopefully I will get filled in on all the details there because we haven’t been able to talk recently. Otherwise I will just be studying, studying and hopefully making another batch of Quince Jam.

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    • avatar

      AliceInDairyland October 25, 2013, 4:12 pm

      PS I need a good cat halloween costume for my babies. They have christmas sweaters but I feel like they need more clothes.

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      • avatar

        bethany October 25, 2013, 4:29 pm

        Calzo has a cute bumble bee costume! He will only wear it for a minute though. Oh, and you can’t go wrong with the Pirate Hat, obviously.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 25, 2013, 7:03 pm

      What’s your costume, Alice? Actually, EVERYONE TELL ME YOUR COSTUME if you are dressing up.

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland October 26, 2013, 1:10 pm

        Hopefully we will be doing damsel-in-distress-tied-to-train-tracks and evil villain. We will see if we can pull it off.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 26, 2013, 2:02 pm

        That’s so cool! I think I remember you mentioning it before. Awesome idea!

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 28, 2013, 8:58 am

        I’m supposed to be going out with my friend on Halloween, & she’s being a panda bear. SO she told me to be her “sexy bamboo stick”. Let’s see if I can pull that off… haha

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 4:12 pm

    That’s so cute about him calling them hats and saying halloweens comin up. Hope he enjoys it! Mine just declared she will no longer participate in the town costume contest (that I’ve, err, she’s won every year) because “its for little kids.”

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  • avatar

    kerrycontrary October 25, 2013, 4:16 pm

    My friend from college is coming to visit this weekend and I’m so excited!! I haven’t found anyone who fits better with me than my college friends so it’s really nice to be around them. I’m most likely going to laugh so hard it hurts for like 2 days straight. Hopefully we don’t go too crazy because I.am.tired. We’ve had something every weekend this fall and I need to relax, buddy. Tomorrow night is the psu/ohio state game which will be awesome even if we get our butts kicked. On Sunday I’m making chicken and dumplings (is there any healthy recipe for chicken and dumplings? I think not) and maybe baked apples.

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle October 25, 2013, 4:16 pm

    CAT WIG <3

    Also, I need to figure out my Halloween plans ASAP. Halloween is next Thursday, & I might go out to a bar town with my friend with some kind of last minute costume? but I wanted to do something with my boyfriend, too.

    Tomorrow is my grandpa's birthday, so I'm going out to dinner with my family. Then Sunday is the photoshoot thing, so I'll be in Philly ALL FUCKING DAY (& outside too, I think? I need to pack layers)

    Tonight I can possibly go to a "lash bar" event (fake eyelashes? People putting them on you, at a bar? At least that's my understanding of it, I could totally be wrong…) sponsored by this lingerie co. my friend works for, but I don't know. I haven't seen my boyfriend much this week, & I may just want to relax? Rawrghhrhahhg

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  • avatar

    TECH October 25, 2013, 4:17 pm

    So I know this is super boring, but I’m thinking about getting wallpaper for a couple of the rooms in my house. I know a lot of people think of wallpaper as being old fashioned, but I guess wallpaper is kind of back “in” and there are some really pretty, tasteful things you can buy.
    I hate painting, and if I get professionals to install it, I think it would look really nice. Plus, wallpaper lasts longer than paint. Thoughts?

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary October 25, 2013, 4:21 pm

      I like wallpaper that’s done tastefully, and I especially like it on accent walls. I prefer it in dining rooms and formal living rooms for some reason. I wouldn’t put in the bathroom because it never stays, even when you get the proper kind. I would probably wallpaper 3 rooms MAX in a house.

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      • avatar

        TECH October 25, 2013, 4:22 pm

        Yeah, it’s definitely not going in the bathroom, for reasons you just said. And yes, I agree, 3 rooms max. Something understated and tasteful. Lately I just feel like my walls are so “BLAH” even though they’re painted different shades.

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    • MaterialsGirl

      MaterialsGirl October 25, 2013, 4:23 pm

      i love it! i’ve seen REALLY great wallpaper ideas before. We are thinking of having an accent wall done in a textural paper.

      GO FOR IT

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 4:29 pm

      Wallpaper IS back in!

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      • avatar

        TECH October 25, 2013, 4:32 pm

        Yeah, I’m going to a place to browse tomorrow and get some prices. I don’t want to break the bank right now — I hope it’s somewhat affordable to do a room or two.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 4:54 pm

        I’m actually going to pick out wallpaper for my closets tonight, haha.

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      • avatar

        TECH October 25, 2013, 4:57 pm

        Why do you need wallpaper for your closets?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 5:01 pm

        Why DON’T I? haha. Idk. Pinterest does. haha

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      • katie

        katie October 25, 2013, 5:03 pm

        pinterest ideas are LAW. you cant not do them obivously.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 5:04 pm

        Exactly. I’m trying to find super cool shelf liners too, thanks to the big P.

        I love that you’re on the pinterest train now!

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      • katie

        katie October 25, 2013, 5:07 pm

        haha, ive only ever done like…. 3 things from there. i know i have lots of stuff on my boards, but really its all just for show (and work research) lol

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 5:08 pm

        Pssh, as long as you’ve pinned it, you’ve pretty much completed the entire project.

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      • katie

        katie October 25, 2013, 5:08 pm

        oh well then shit- im betty fucking homemaker! look at me go!!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 5:09 pm

        Yep, same here!

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle October 25, 2013, 4:25 pm

      My thoughts are, I just found this: http://www.houzz.com/photos/modern/wallpaper

      and this:

      and this:

      this: http://ecobird.tumblr.com/post/48685897800

      and this: http://www.purewow.com/slideshow/national/7542/Creative-ways-to-cover-your-walls.htm

      There’s loads of options now that don’t look dated; you’re right that wallpaper is back “in”!

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland October 25, 2013, 4:30 pm

        Ahhh… reclaimed barn wood…….

        MOSS. Tech make a moss wall.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 4:54 pm

        Can I have a moss wall too?

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland October 25, 2013, 5:02 pm

        Yes. It would make your house really oxygen-y.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 5:06 pm

        Oooh, added bonus! My bf is super obsessed with non-toxic things, green stuff I guess. We were looking up plants that help with air quality last night (fun, right? haha). He’ll love the moss idea!

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    • GatorGirl

      GatorGirl October 25, 2013, 5:37 pm

      Stencil! It’s easier to change in 5 or 10 years then ripping wallpaper out.

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  • othy

    othy October 25, 2013, 4:53 pm

    I got a bread maker for my birthday last week. So this weekend, I will try making a few different flavors of bread (I already made a 100% whole wheat loaf, but I want to try an Italian herb bread, a cinnamon raisin bread, and a basic white). It even makes jams, so I might make some strawberry jam with it.

    So, after eating all of the carbs ever, it’s a good thing I’m running a half marathon tomorrow to burn off all the calories. The weather is supposed to be in the high 50s, low 60s and perfectly sunny for race day. Much better than 35 and raining like my last race. And I’m hoping to cut a lot of time off my last finishing time. I can’t wait!

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    • avatar

      AliceInDairyland October 25, 2013, 5:03 pm

      Your breadmaker makes jams? What is this witchcraft…

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      • othy

        othy October 25, 2013, 5:44 pm

        Fantastic, huh? I don’t know how good they are, but it sounded worth trying.

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  • avatar

    vizslalvr October 25, 2013, 4:55 pm

    I found out today that I passed the bar exam, which made the killer hangover I had this morning totally bearable. Tonight I’m getting dinner with my husband and parents, then playing Catan. Tomorrow is dinner at the in-laws (my father in law makes the best Chinese food). Annnnd that’s about it. Hopefully I will get a job offer where I’ve been working for the past two and a half years on Monday. That would make me so freakin’ happy.

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    • avatar

      TECH October 25, 2013, 4:58 pm

      Congrats on passing the bar!

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    • avatar

      AliceInDairyland October 25, 2013, 5:04 pm

      YAY

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    • avatar

      vizslalvr October 25, 2013, 5:13 pm

      Thanks, guys! And I just got a call from my direct report congratulating me, asking when I’m getting sworn in, and telling me I would be getting a call from the head public defender either tomorrow or Monday. Fingers crossed that the calls means a job offer!

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    • beelzebarb

      beelzebarb October 25, 2013, 5:31 pm

      Congrats!!! Also, I LOVE Catan! Now I wanna play. Boo.

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      • othy

        othy October 25, 2013, 5:45 pm

        Trade you 2 sheep for 2 bricks.

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 25, 2013, 7:36 pm

        No, but I’ll give you 2 bricks for a sheep and an ore.

        Sidenote: whenever we play with my stepdaughters, they are maddeningly inconsistent about how they phrase trades. Sometimes the first part is what they’ll give you, other times it’s what they want. It leads to mass confusion and unintentional revelation of what cards you’re holding. #catanproblems

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      • othy

        othy October 25, 2013, 11:27 pm

        Deal!

        We made the mistake of playing with this super lovely-dovey couple once. They would give each other insanely good good deals (1 for 1) and wouldn’t give us any good deals (4 for 1). For some reason we never played it with them again.

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 26, 2013, 3:40 pm

        Ewwwww! I’m a jerk to my husband in Catan :p

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      • othy

        othy October 26, 2013, 9:48 pm

        Me too. He’s gotta try harder than anyone else, lest I be accused of playing favorites.

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      • avatar

        vizslalvr October 26, 2013, 10:20 pm

        Our main group is three of us – my husband, his best friend from high school, and me. With a few others here and there. But his best friend (and one of my closest friends by extension) is way way way too nice to his now-wife when we all play. To the point where we discourage her from coming over, even though as a person I think she’s great. And my husband is nicer to his friend than he is to me. Hands down.

        But, c’mon. We keep score. I don’t need bs scores because you feel bad for your wife! She’s also GOOD. We all are. Like, to the point where I would put the four of us against anyone in the WORLD. And I understand you want sexy time with your wife … but why screw over your two best friends by giving terrible trades?!

        And that is #catanproblems. Please tell me one of you ladies lives in Northeast Ohio. We need new Catan blood.

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      • othy

        othy October 26, 2013, 10:47 pm

        Sadly, I live in Utah. It would be a bit of a commute.

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 27, 2013, 5:57 pm

        Florida 🙁 If I lived nearby, I’d definitely come play. We need new Catan blood too.

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      • avatar

        vizslalvr October 25, 2013, 8:44 pm

        Our group of Catan players basically has our own language, to the point where we have to consciously reign it in when we play with new people. For example, it’s always, “I want a bwick, fwiend.” When we build a city we sing, “My d*ck’s all shitty” to the tune of “We Built This City (On Rock and Roll).” Sheep are ba-bas. When someone wins, they have to slam the table with both fists and shout “CATAN!”

        And, because today is the best day ever, my best work friend just called me and told me that our boss told her they are going to hire me. I could lose every Catan game tonight and still be happy (and that’s saying a lot, since we are mad competitive).

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 25, 2013, 10:41 pm

        Both paragraphs are awesome 🙂 Congrats on the job! I’m in law school right now, and I’m hoping that it works out for me the same way. Fingers crossed! Re Catan, I love that you have a whole culture built around it. My husband will never live down the time he said he needed wood for a sheep. Maturity be damned!

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      • othy

        othy October 25, 2013, 11:30 pm

        We have a similar language, and my friends are just as immature. One of our friends turned ‘wood for sheep’ into bestiality, and started chanting “What are sheep for? Fucking!” every time the sheepies were rolled. Anyway, said friend got married a couple of weeks ago, and we managed to find an inflatable sheep sex doll for his bachelor party. (My friends may be a bit twisted)

        Ooh, and it’s exciting your friend can come work with you!

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 26, 2013, 3:41 pm

        Sheepies!

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      • avatar

        vizslalvr October 26, 2013, 10:22 pm

        This makes me so happy, to hear other people have Catan culture like we do. Like, I have had the best weekend ever because of bar results + dream job offer + hearing other people love Catan like I do. All on equal levels … because it is the best game ever ever ever ever ever and I will not hear a word against it.

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      • avatar

        AllegroFox October 27, 2013, 10:24 pm

        My gaming group doesn’t play Catan, but we play Agricola, and we joke on “wood for sheep” too 😛

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  • Pamplemousse Rose

    Pamplemousse Rose October 25, 2013, 5:30 pm

    Miles looks like Anne of Green Gables in that wig!

    I’m sooo glad its the weekend. This has been the most ridculously busy week I’ve had in a long time. Plus I’m leaving for vacation tomorrow. We’re heading down to Phoenix for a week where I plan to mostly sit by the pool and read while my in-laws go golfing (if you have any suggestions of things to do in Phoenix, let me know). I am going to my first NFL game on Sunday, so I’m pretty excited for that!!!

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    • Pamplemousse Rose

      Pamplemousse Rose October 25, 2013, 5:59 pm

      Oh and I’m going to a Halloween party tonight dressed as a minion

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    • avatar

      HmC October 25, 2013, 10:55 pm

      Thumbs up just for Anne of Green Gables reference. LOVE.

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  • beelzebarb

    beelzebarb October 25, 2013, 5:36 pm

    It’s finally cool enough in the evenings here to properly enjoy pumpkin ale, so that’s definitely happening this weekend. I’m going shopping for cat costumes too. Did anyone see the picture of the pug dressed as the Miley Cyrus wrecking ball? I can’t top that.

    Other than that, I’m gonna be lazy. I’m a Bucs fan, so I have a weekend off from getting kicked in the teeth. They took care of that last night. Any other Bucs fans out there? Or sympathetic football fans in general? 🙁

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  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl October 25, 2013, 5:43 pm

    I am so damn tired. UGHHHHH. We didn’t get home till pushing 3am last night (drove back from Tampa post NFL game) and my body woke me up by 8:30. I’m going into my part time job tonight on last minute notice because I’m nice like that.

    This weekend we are laying LOW low low low. We have no plans tomorrow (GGuy does have to work for a few hours but I’m parking my butt on the couch and catching up on shows) and Sunday we have to go out to watch my NFL game. Sunday night we’re carving pumpkins, drinking Oktoberfest beers, and watching Hocus Pocus (Halloween can’t happen if this ritual doesn’t happen).

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  • call-me-hobo

    call-me-hobo October 25, 2013, 6:12 pm

    The bf and I going to look at wedding venue places tomorrow. I’m excited to go, and I’m even more excited that he is really invested in the process as well.

    I’m a little bummed though, because I emailed a nice venue with my budget and they sent me an email that basically said- you can’t plan a wedding for that budget. Which in my opinion, is kind of sucky. All they had to say was THEY can’t do wedding with my budget (even though in my humble opinion, I’m working with a very generous budget). It was just kind of off putting.

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    • Imsostartled

      Imsostartled October 25, 2013, 6:34 pm

      Don’t listen to them. Go to apracticalwedding.com there you will find ways to have a lovely wedding in your budget. Fight the WIC! 😀 Good luck!

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo October 25, 2013, 6:39 pm

        Please tell me that WIC stands for wedding industry circus. Because that’s how it feels. Thanks for the website!

        I know it can be done- I read Wendy’s wedding story!

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      • Imsostartled

        Imsostartled October 28, 2013, 2:41 pm

        Close it’s Wedding industry complex so same thing! 😀

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    • avatar

      HmC October 25, 2013, 10:52 pm

      Omg from someone that is a few months deep into wedding planning, do not listen to those fuckers. I have a pretty nice wedding set up for way less than what is “average” for my area… I had a DJ and other vendors basically laugh in my face… and I went on to find perfectly reasonable alternatives. Resist the wedding mind fuck!

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    • GatorGirl

      GatorGirl October 28, 2013, 8:54 am

      I third that you should ignore them. They where rude to say that too you and people plan lovely weddings on all kinds of budgets. My suggestion would be to make a priority list (say food, then music, then flowers) and spend the most money on your #1 priority and less and less as you go down the list. Good luck!

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  • CurlyQue

    CurlyQue October 25, 2013, 6:34 pm

    We got my mom yesterday in her urn, but i haven’t seen her/it yet because of work & school so i’m going to head over and spend time w/ family and see her/it. For the most part i think i’ve been holding up well, but yesterday was pretty bad when i started looking at her texts. Almost didn’t make it to class.

    Anyways, tomorrow i’m going to a corn maze/pumpkin picking groupon thing w/ my friend that i’m really looking forward to. I bought it weeks ago, and had to keep bailing because of what was going on w/ my mom. Last year we went and it the place was so muddy i threw my shoes away after, basically so terrible it was amazing. 🙂

    After that my boyfriend wants to go to a Halloween party that we were invited to, but i just really don’t want to. The idea of having to socialize with a bunch of people i don’t know isn’t fun for me in general, but is even less fun considering my life recently. But i feel bad getting out of it, because he bought himself a $1200 devil mask& gloves MONTHS ago so i’m going to throw together some easy/peasy costume and he’s already said that we can leave at any point that i want to.

    Besides all of that it’s homework, cleaning and trying to figure out what i’m making for the office potluck next week.

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    • CurlyQue

      CurlyQue October 25, 2013, 6:41 pm

      Oh my gosh that was a freaking novel. Sorry!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy October 25, 2013, 7:08 pm

      Don’t go to that party if you don’t want to. Tell your boyfriend he can wear is $1200 devil mask to a party next year. Or he can go without you. Really, he should stay with you though. Your mother JUST passed away. It’s ok if you don’t want to go socialize with anyone. It’s ok to say, “Hey, I don’t feel like being around a bunch of strangers dressed up in costumes right now.” And someone who cares about you will appreciate that and say, “Of course. Let’s stay in and carve pumpkins and hang out together.” Again, I’m so sorry for your loss.

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      • CurlyQue

        CurlyQue October 25, 2013, 10:51 pm

        Thank you for that Wendy i really needed to hear that!! And thank you also for being such a compassionate person.

        I’ve been trying to be kind to myself during this process, but i also feel this inner pressure and guilt to be “normal” as quick as possible (work/school/friendships/relationship). It was important for me to hear that it’s ok to not go.

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      • something random

        something random October 26, 2013, 11:11 am

        I don’t have much to add. As usual, Wendy said things perfectly. But I’m so sorry you are going through this rough time. I don’t know you but I’m wishing you whatever comfort this brings during this time when your heart is hurting.

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      • avatar

        Taylor October 26, 2013, 11:20 pm

        When my dad died, I felt a lot of pressure to get back to normal as soon as possible. A friend told me – if you broke your leg, you wouldn’t expect to walk on it in a week, and this deserves at least as much time and care for healing as a broken limb. That analogy always helped me. Wishing you a peaceful weekend…

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      • CurlyQue

        CurlyQue October 27, 2013, 12:49 am

        Thank you Taylor that analogy is really helpful and helps me put this into some sort of perspective.

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay October 26, 2013, 5:08 am

        I agree with Wendy. Sometimes people have obligations they can’t change, but going to a party isn’t one of those. I mean, I ditched a party tonight just because I was feeling crabby. We’ve talked in my counseling class about how our society tries to act like you’re supposed to be over loss really quickly, but in reality, we’re one of the few cultures that has that kind of view of grief. So, anyway, don’t go if you don’t want to!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy October 26, 2013, 7:19 am

        I’ve never loss a parent, but several people close to me have, both recently and decades ago, and across the board what I hear is that it takes a long time to process the grief and though you do feel better eventually and the pain does lessen a lot. You don’t really feel “normal” again – not the normal you have always felt anyway. It’s a new normal. And for a while, it’s hard to wrap your head around how the works keeps turnin and for everyone else, everything is the same. But for you it isn’t. I think it is more than ok to pass on any non-obligatory events and activities for a while that don’t make you feel good or that require more energy than you really have to give. You are grieving and the grief will shift a lot, so just pay attention to how you feel and honor your feelings. People who care about you will respect that you are just doing what you need to do to get through through the initial stages of grief.

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    • FireStar

      FireStar October 26, 2013, 8:46 pm

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I haven’t lost a parent but my husband has lost both of his. And as his partner I would have done (and did) anything he wanted/needed. Of course things can’t be normal for you right now and anyone who cares about you will understand that and be supportive. Take all the time you need. Sending you warm wishes.

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      • rainbow

        rainbow October 26, 2013, 9:34 pm

        FireStar! You’re here! How’s everything going?

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      • CurlyQue

        CurlyQue October 27, 2013, 1:05 am

        Thank you all again for your support! When i talked to him yesterday about not wanting to go to the party he agreed to hang out w/ me and paint pumpkins and watch scary movies. I could tell though that he really didn’t want to, and i didn’t want him getting resentful so i told him today to go to the party and enjoy himself w/out me. I think it was the best choice.

        In the beginning of all this i had no idea what any of my needs from him were, i just couldn’t think that much. Now that i’m beginning to work those needs out, i need to communicate them to him so that i can feel more supported.

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      • avatar

        Taylor October 27, 2013, 10:23 am

        Are you being super gentle with yourself? It’s ok to not know how to react to this kind of thing, it’s new, and so tough. It’s also ok to choose what you need right now.

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  • Lyra

    Lyra October 25, 2013, 6:44 pm

    I’M GETTING A CAT THIS WEEKEND!!

    I have wanted to be a crazy cat lady for soooooo long. This week my aunt sent me this super cute calico that is with a family my aunt knows who rescues strays. She’s a bit over a year old, apparently very timid, but is cuddly and playful and ADORABLE. The fee would be less than the humane society and she was found on a farm, abandoned. I’ve been itching for weeks to get one and I finally realized that I just needed to bite the bullet, pay the pet deposit to my apartment, and DO IT.

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    • avatar

      MissDre October 25, 2013, 7:14 pm

      Being a cat lady is wonderful. I have 4 cats. All rescue kitties. I love them so much.

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    • Lyra

      Lyra October 25, 2013, 10:03 pm

      I spent tonight cat prepping my apartment! Toys are opened, scratching post available, litter box filled, food and water dishes filled… Is that nerdy? I’m soooo excited. I haven’t been this excited about something in quite some time.

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed October 25, 2013, 10:07 pm

        Nothing wrong with that! Have you picked out a name yet?

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      • Lyra

        Lyra October 26, 2013, 12:08 am

        The name that her foster family gave her is Opal. I haven’t decided if I will keep it or change it.

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      • avatar

        painted_lady October 26, 2013, 10:39 am

        I kind of love Opal. I’m a fan of old people names for animals. I think you should keep Opal.

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      • katie

        katie October 26, 2013, 10:49 am

        i like opal too. but, you gotta at least see if it fits her. if it fits, keep it. but if she is more of a ….. rosie, or whatever, then change it.

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    • Lyra

      Lyra October 26, 2013, 5:51 pm

      She has arrived! She’s so so so shy, and she seems to feel most comfortable when she’s hiding. Like right now she’s underneath my TV stand and I have no idea how she shimmied under there. I think I’ve traumatized her enough today so I’ll just let her be, despite the fact that I just want to pet her and cuddle with her.

      Reply Link
      • katie

        katiw October 26, 2013, 6:10 pm

        hiding is very, very normal when you bring a cat home for the first time, even for the pretty outgoing ones. give her time to transition.

        i got to name a kitten at the shelter today. i named her Babette. haha, so cute!

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      • katie

        katie October 26, 2013, 6:24 pm

        i left another comment that was being moderated…?

        anyway, its totally normal for her to hide! even the more outgoing cats will hide when you first get them home sometimes. let her transition in her own time. once you find out what she is motivated by (play, food, love, whatever), give her that whenever she comes out so she has good experiences. good experiences is what you want!

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      • Copa

        Copa October 26, 2013, 6:59 pm

        KITTENS! YAY! When I first brought my cat home as a baby, I was totally expecting her to hide for a few days. Nope! She was a nosy little monster from day 1 and just wanted to play. I confined her to just one area of the apartment my ex and I lived in at the time, because I’d read online that it helps them adjust, and she was such a little sneak about trying to get into the “forbidden” areas. She was so smart, she’d know to hide around the corner (in stealthy creeping cat mode) when we were opening a door to get from “her” room the adjacent one, and she’d make a dash at the door whenever it was open. Haha.

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      • katie

        katie October 26, 2013, 8:39 pm

        yea, its pretty rare for a kitten to hide, its just not what kittens do. they havent had any bad experiences yet, usually, to understand the connection between a new space and scariness. we have one right now at the shelter who is pretty timid, actually, the only timid one we have had the entire time ive been there, and i think its because she lost one of her eyes. she had a bad infection or something, and we had to put her through an operation to take it out… so i think that was bad/traumatic enough for her to understand that the shelter is scary… poor thing. but! someone came in today specifically to look at her, and hopefully she will keep her word and come back tomorrow to adopt!

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      • Lyra

        Lyra October 27, 2013, 9:59 am

        Opal has a stealthy creeping cat mode too. It’s pretty funny, but I wish she would stay out long enough for me to just get a picture of her!

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    • Lyra

      Lyra October 27, 2013, 10:09 am

      Cat update! She ate all her food last night so I know she knows where the dish is. She also meowed/cried a couple times last night. 🙁 I felt so bad because she didn’t want me to comfort her so I kept my distance but she just sounded so sad. She’s under the couch now and I can tell she’s curious but still too scared/timid to come out.

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      • katie

        katie October 27, 2013, 1:13 pm

        she just doesnt know that your a source of comfort yet.

        about her food, i dont know if they told you this, but watch how much food you put out for her. if you “free feed” strays, sometimes they have that instinct still to just eat everything in sight because they dont know where their next meal will be, and thats bad for them. weight gain, obviously, but throwing up and stuff too. so, if she is gobbling everything down, youll have to put her on more scheduled eating. some cats cant be free fed at all, regardless of being a stray or not, some strays will grow out of it as they become used to their home.

        but, the flip side of that is that most strays are also very food-motivated, so you can use that to your advantage in bonding with her. have some treats close by, and use them to build up trust!

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      • Lyra

        Lyra October 27, 2013, 1:43 pm

        Katie, you’re the BEST. I really do appreciate all the advice. I wanted to see if she was a gobbler or a grazer so I put out a lot of food last night. She’s definitely a gobbler — I managed to lure her out from under my bed and she just scarfed it down. I’m going to go get some treats later today, and maybe some toys that I know she had at her foster home.

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      • katie

        katie October 27, 2013, 1:51 pm

        oh no problem! i do it every saturday, lol, its becoming second nature now…

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      • Lyra

        Lyra October 27, 2013, 4:23 pm

        OK Katie, one more question: she’s been hiding literally for 24 hours. The only time I really had time with her was when I lured her out with food. Would you recommend I leave her be or try to get her to come out? I don’t want to rush her but I want to encourage her to come out from underneath the couch.

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      • katie

        katie October 27, 2013, 5:38 pm

        you can try to encourage it, but i wouldnt try to like, physically get her out. what she needs is positive experiences- she needs to associate your apartment, and specifically you, with good experiences, like getting fed or getting played with or getting loved.

        if she will come out for food/treats, give them to her a few times a day. start the good association pattern. hopefully she will come out of her shell after she learns to trust you. if she is just over a year (i dont know if your lady knew that for sure or is guessing based on size or teeth), *hopefully* she hasnt been treated badly enough to become a total recluse.

        give her time. if she is especially shy and scared, it will take a good long time- maybe even a few months… you never know. and, honestly, she might just be too shy and scared to be social. that can happen too. sometimes whatever a cat went through in their life is too much and they will never come out of that shell.

        my cat is not social at all, she hates everyone except me and jake, and she *just* has started to come up and sit with us. she is 4, and ive had her since she was around 7 weeks.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra October 27, 2013, 6:17 pm

        You’re my new go to cat advice person. 🙂 I’m new to this whole process of getting a cat adjusted to a new home. I can tell she’s already peed under the couch because it smells a bit. She hasn’t used the litter box yet. Tips?

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      • katie

        katie October 27, 2013, 8:59 pm

        oh yikes… where is the litterbox? you might want to actually just quarantine her with her box. if you have a small room, preferably with hardwood floors, make her a little home in there. put her box, food, make her a bed, toys, ect, and let her get acclimated to that room. let her learn where her box is, ect, and then slowly grow her world to the rest of your apartment. that might help with her anxiety too… obviously you dont want to really “catch” her and make it a bad experience, so i would set everything up and put her food in there, then hopefully you can catcher her in there while shes eating and close the door?

        thats a tough one! hopefully she will start venturing out soon….

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      • Lyra

        Lyra October 27, 2013, 9:58 pm

        She just ventured out from under the couch for about 5-10 minutes. She was cautious, but she looked around a bit more. She’s now back under my bed now though…

        I put the litter box by her food. I know she knows where the food is since the few bits of kibble I left in the bowl were gone when I got home tonight. If she still doesn’t use the box I may try what you suggested, but it would have to be in my bathroom.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra October 27, 2013, 11:49 pm

        Cat update 2!!

        YOU GUYS. She came out of hiding!! She timidly walked over to her food dish in the kitchen. I sat on the floor nearby, excited that she was finally out of her hiding spot, and she walked slowly up to me and started nuzzling my leg. I cautiously pet her and she LOVED IT. She’s sitting next to me on the couch right now all cozied up to the pillow. Baaahhhh she’s SO CUTE. I’m glad she realizes now that pillows and space are more comfortable than a little crawl space underneath the sofa…

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow October 25, 2013, 7:01 pm

    WENDY, I have the same cat wig! I also had a rooster one. My cats predictably hate them.

    HAPPY HALLOWEEKEND EVERYONE!!! I can’t contain my fucking excitement.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 26, 2013, 10:13 am

      EVERYONE. I am like a little kid on Christmas morning. I woke up at 6:30 all excited for Halloweekend, and I’ve already done homework, 2 loads of laundry, and practiced some makeup. I am currently covered in face paint, fake cuts, and liquid latex. I’m watching my collection of YouTube tutorials like I’m studying for a test! Geez, I am such a dork. I’m nervous about my makeup, though, because I haven’t practiced the completed look (just stitches techniques). Eek!

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 26, 2013, 10:13 am

        Also I am listening to my Halloween playlist.

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      • beelzebarb

        beelzebarb October 26, 2013, 7:21 pm

        Oooo! What’s on the playlist?!

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 27, 2013, 8:03 pm

        A lot! Pretty much any song that mentions Halloween, zombies, monsters, vampires, bats, etc.

        Monster Mash – The Misfits
        Thriller, of course
        Everybody – Backstreet Boys (because, remember the video? haha)
        Ghostbusters
        This Is Halloween – Marilyn Manson
        Halloween – Siouxsie and the Banshees
        Dead Man’s Party and Weird Science – Oingo Boingo
        Ghost Town – The Specials
        Halloween – Dead Kennedys
        Pet Sematary – Ramones
        Psycho Killer – Talking Heads
        Dracula – Gorillaz
        Bat Country – Avenged Sevenfold
        bark at the Moon & Mr. Crowley – Ozzy
        Time Warp
        Frankenstein – New York Dolls
        Somebody’s Watching Me – Rockwell
        Dragula – Rob Zombie
        A Nightmare on My Street – DJ Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince
        Werewolves of London – Warren Zevon
        The Twilight Zone – The Ventures
        Zombie – the Cranberries
        Addams Groove – MC Hammer
        Runnin’ with the Devil – Van Halen
        Don’t Fear the Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
        Sympathy for the Devil – Rolling Stones
        Feed My Frankenstein – Alice Cooper
        Bad Things (True Blood)
        Shout at the Devil – Motley Crue
        The Purple People Eater
        Superstition – Stevie Wonder
        Witchdoctor (ooh ee ooh ah ah)
        Be True to Your Ghoul & The Graveyard Shift – The Ghouls
        After Dark – The Evolved (from From Dusk ’til Dawn)
        Midnight Monsters Hop – Jack and Jim
        Strychnine – Fuzztones
        Bad Moon Rising – CCR
        Kiss Kiss Kill Kill – Horrorpops
        Puttin on the Ritz
        Evil and a Heathen – Franz Ferdinand
        The Boogie Man – The Cadillacs
        Dracula’s Wedding – Outkast, Kelis
        Monster – Lady Gaga
        Funhouse – Pink
        Bang Bang My Baby Shot Me Down
        How Soon Is Now – The Smiths (it’s the Charmed theme song, ok?)
        Keepin’ Halloween Alive – Alice Cooper
        Rock Lobster – the B 52s
        Heads Will Roll – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
        Hoodoo Voodoo Doll – Brian Setzer Orchestra
        Trick or Treat – Nekromantix
        Wolf Like Me – TV on the Radio
        Devil Inside – Powerman 5000
        Howlin’ for You – Black Keys
        Magic Dance – David Bowie
        The Floating Coffin – Thee Oh Sees
        Dark Arts – Man Man
        I Put a Spell on You – Marilyn Manson (lots of people sing this but he is the scariest)
        1313 Mockingbird Lane – the Moon-Rays
        The X-Files theme remix
        She Devils of the Deep – Future Bible Heroes
        Among the Dead – Tim Armstrong
        Halloween – The Misfits
        I Want Candy – Bow Wow Wow
        Scary Monsters and Super Creeps – David Bowie
        A Wolf at the Door – Radiohead
        Monster Rap – Bobby “Boris” Pickett
        The Devil Went Down to Georgia
        The Purple People Eater

        Yeah… it’s kinda all over the place, haha.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 27, 2013, 10:08 pm

        You are a genius. That’s all.

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      • Classic

        Classic October 27, 2013, 10:46 pm

        Hah you are so awesome, I can stop twerking in my underpants now.

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray October 27, 2013, 9:48 am

      Cats, you are the BEST at Halloween! I’m in awe of your talent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 27, 2013, 1:39 pm

        Thanks! I was actually really upset because I couldn’t get my makeup to work how I wanted it. I had this wax stuff to make a cut with, and I was going to use real thread for the stitches, but after 7,000 tries and mess-ups I said fuck it and just drew it on. But it had worked for me in the morning! So I guess I was just having an off night. It’s OK, I still looked cool.

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      • avatar

        Christy October 28, 2013, 8:09 am

        You definitely looked awesome! I actually was bragging on your crazy makeup skills/Halloween love to gf this weekend – I showed her all your awesome costumes, and she was definitely impressed as well.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 28, 2013, 12:54 pm

        Yay! Thank you!

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  • thewriteway

    thewriteway October 25, 2013, 7:53 pm

    I’ve been sending out resumes for internships/seasonal jobs for grad school so I can get a head start on building my resume for my career path. I’m in sports management, and you have to do A LOT of dues paying and show crazy ambition to show you want to get ahead, so I figured why not start now? I ended up changing the way I approach my cover letters, and it’s already resulted in three calls…two with interviews set up and one today for an initial screening for a position. I really hope this keeps up!

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Christy October 28, 2013, 8:10 am

      Yay! That’s so exciting! Job searching is crazy, and any time you make a change that works is SO exciting. Good luck!

      Reply Link
  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray October 25, 2013, 10:30 pm

    Hi guys. I’m on my way to MG’s Halloween party sans costume because work has been so busy that I didn’t get a chance to put it together. Also a friend of mind was sentenced to 10 years in prison yesterday. That was rough to say the least. I couldn’t go to the sentencing hearing so my goodbye to him was this past weekend. Man, is that long. I can’t even wrap my head around it. And I wonder if his wife will wait for him.

    In other news I have work to do this weekend but I also hope to squeeze in yoga. I haven’t been since early September. Rough.

    I also feel like I’m going to throw up because I haven’t been taking care of myself and I just are fries and for some reason I want to puke; my stomach does not feel good. Also I had a cigarette which is not settling well. I’m gonna be a bundle of joy at MG’s party.

    I want to move. Im taking active steps to do that. I’m getting a dog, and I’ve started talking to this guy in Philly that seems pretty dreamy. I will meet him next week. I want to cancel cable, and I cut my boob pretty bad. I did it running into an open metal circuit breaker door naked and I think it’s gonna leave a scar.

    So that’s what’s going on with me.

    Reply Link
    • CurlyQue

      CurlyQue October 25, 2013, 10:54 pm

      Ahh hope your stomach and your night get better soon!! …didn’t you just buy your place rather recently? Though a yard would probably be best for a dog. 🙂

      Reply Link
      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 27, 2013, 9:00 am

        I did, I bought it just over a year ago. … But no I don’t want a yard. I’m not responsible enough to handle a yard, ha. I can barely handle 3 bedrooms. Home ownership stresses me out. I’m lucky though in that I have a few options, I can sell now, or rent it out, or just stay for another year to avoid capital gains. I bough this place really low and then for some reason in this past year the prices of comps in the area for more or less identical units jumped like 50k. I want to move for several reasons I won’t go into but I’m talking it over with professionals to figure out what the best course of action is.

        Ok, maybe a LITTLE TINY patch of yard I could deal with. With fake grass, ha.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 27, 2013, 9:46 am

        Well, I mean, I’m happy to go into it – is there anything I don’t discuss here? ha – but it’s boring

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    • call-me-hobo

      call-me-hobo October 25, 2013, 11:32 pm

      What kind of puppy are you getting? Is this your first time with a puppy? I saw the fb picture, but I couldn’t really tell what breed (other than adorable puppy squishyness).

      Also, I’m sorry to hear about your friend. That’s super rough.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 27, 2013, 8:55 am

        They’re Havanese! First time, yes. Growing up we always had dogs, but this is MY first dog. My mom is going to come stay with me for a bit to help out the first month. Ha it’s like I’m having a baby; she’d need to come help with that too.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy October 27, 2013, 9:35 am

        How exciting! Congrats, Addie!!

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    • Classic

      Classic October 26, 2013, 12:14 am

      Hi Addie Pray. You need to take good care of yourself. Please eat healthy foods, drink water, and get eight hours of sleep each night. I do not think you should move right now; just focus on your work, your healthy food, your exercise, and your social fun times. If the cut on your boob looks serious, I think you should go to the doctor. For small cuts and scratches, I think you should get some Neosporin.

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      • Classic

        Classic October 26, 2013, 12:53 am

        I will continue wearing these mom jeans, plus bonus white Keds, for 8 more minutes, until 10 PM Pacific Time.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 27, 2013, 8:54 am

        Thanks, Classic. I stayed in all of Saturday. Did not even go outside. Today I have to go to work and I’m hoping to go to yoga… But I’m also avoiding it because the first day back after many days off is always ROUGH.

        The cut it big – in that it’s like 2 inches long and 1/2 an inch wide…. but it’s not deep. It’ll be fine. It just looks like a boob job scar but without the boob job.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 26, 2013, 10:14 am

      Congrats on the puppy! Why are you moving?

      Reply Link
    • katie

      katie October 26, 2013, 10:23 am

      aw you are for real getting one of those puppies you posted on facebook?? awwwwww!

      i say you get two. they will need a buddy while your at work.

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      • katie

        katie October 26, 2013, 10:26 am

        also, where are those puppies from??

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 27, 2013, 10:43 am

        from a Havanese breeder in Michigan.

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    • rainbow

      rainbow October 26, 2013, 6:15 pm

      Uuuh that’s rough. What did he do?

      Reply Link
      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 27, 2013, 9:06 am

        He made a big mistake – a BIG ONE – and the lesson is NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE, EVER. I don’t care how many drinks you have. Make a rule – if you have just 1 drink, someone else must drive. End of story.

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  • avatar

    Lucy October 26, 2013, 12:07 am

    LOL @ “it’s freezing in NYC” – it was 60F in Brooklyn today.

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  • avatar

    sarita_f October 26, 2013, 1:02 am

    I know this isn’t all that heavy what with what others are going through. But I just got laid off, COMPLETELY out of the blue, about 6 hours ago. From a job that I really liked, that I hoped to stay at for many years to come. I felt like I was where I was meant to be. And also, being in sales, I have (had) a handful of REALLY BIG DEALS that I lined up for my company, that I am 99% certain will lead to big bucks for my now former company. And I was only weeks away from closing these deals, but most likely, my manager or our VP will close them and I was just a cheap pawn in the whole game. And I get zero compensation from them.

    I know I don’t post much but when I do I’ve been pretty vocal about employment issues here in the forum, counseling others to stand up for themselves and not take business issues personally. I’ve always been in control of when and how i left jobs, and this situation is so very foreign to me. I have glowing reviews from my boss and her boss, it’s not a performance issue, all the “newer” employees were cut. And I literally had the best results of the “newer” employees, so I was probably the last to be cut.

    I’ve had such a turbulent few years and I really thought I was set for a while. The rug was pulled out from under me. I’m not one to WOE IS ME but yeah, guess I am for tonight. I’ll probably be embarrassed to have written this when I wake up tomorrow.

    Anyways, I will have to tell my parents tomorrow and they’ve worried so much about me for the last few years and I’ve been all right. Up until now. I’m kinda out of options and I very much don’t want to go back to my previous career. I thought this job was my reward for paying my dues, and saving up before I embarked on the sales thing. I just, last week, put my “once-and-for-all” debt repayment plans into my budget and was going to be FREE with a house down payment in just two years. I’m thirty-freakin’-three. I’m all by myself.

    I’m sad, and I’m scared.

    Reply Link
    • Classic

      Classic October 26, 2013, 1:20 am

      It is heavy, Sarita, and not easy to handle when life changes unexpectedly. You have always been a strong and powerful presence here. Clearly you stand strong on your own, but know that also we are here for you.

      Reply Link
    • Fabelle

      Fabelle October 26, 2013, 9:37 am

      Oh sarita! I’m so sorry (& hell yes, this is heavy) 🙁 Also, you post often enough (& I remember you were very helpful, informative, & supportive to me during the several times I was on here freaking out about job shit, which I appreciate)

      Anyway, this is an incredibly shitty thing to deal with, & I’m sorry this happened. You’re allowed to be “woe is me” for a while, & I’m confident you’ll pull through this :::hugs hugs hugs:::

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    • avatar

      d2 October 26, 2013, 9:53 am

      It’s okay to feel sad and scared because, after all, the ending was completely out of your control. But remember, it wasn’t your fault. Take pride in what you’ve accomplished the last few years. Even though you won’t be at the company for at the final closing of those deals, remember that they happened because of your hard work. I know it’s easier said than done to hold that positive view, but it’s true. I’m sorry this is happening to you Sarita.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 26, 2013, 10:10 am

      I’m sorry, Sarita. 🙁 I agree to remember that this isn’t your fault and you should focus on your accomplishments. It’s OK to be sad, too. If you need to wallow/grieve, go ahead and do it! That’s totally OK. Just do it for a little while and get it out of your system, and then get back to business. I’m sure you won’t have trouble finding work given your excellent track record and stellar recommendations from your bosses.

      Reply Link
    • something random

      something random October 26, 2013, 10:45 am

      I’m really sorry Sarita. I don’t know you, but I enjoy the thoughts and comments you share on this site. Try not to take on your parent’s reaction. And try not to compare yourself with some hypothetical time-line wish list of where you think you should be. It probably sounds hollow but most people aren’t where they at one time thought they would be or should be. Just remember that what you do is not who you are at your core nor indicative of your inherent worth.

      Reply Link
    • FireStar

      FireStar October 26, 2013, 9:40 pm

      I’m sorry Sarita. Unexpected change is always hard…no matter what area of your life… Make sure to ask for a written reference letter. And take a moment to yourself before planning for the future. You aren’t out of options. You have to look into all the new options out there for you…when you are ready. It may be cold comfort but I’ve always found that when I’ve had the rug pulled out from under me where I eventually end up is infinitely better. Feel better soon and good luck in getting a new, even better job.

      Reply Link
    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray October 27, 2013, 9:31 am

      I’m really sorry, sarita! As an employment attorney I can tell you a couple things that may help. THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE. First, it’s possible you are owed commission for those sales. Does your company have a commission plan? I’d first read how commission is earned under the plan. Regardless, depending on your state, you may be entitled to commissions for sales procured by you. I of course have no idea how you earn commission under the company’s plan or practice, what specifically you did or had not yet done related to the sale, or what state you’re in. You could ask about this, make a claim, etc. May be worth looking into. Second, you could maybe get them to pay you a severance for a release of all claims. Employees don’t realize this but there’s often a lot of room for negotiation. How long had you been there? How hard is it to get another job? Could ask in light of [insert whatever facts are on your side] for severance in exchange for a release. Third, you may be owed for accrued but unused vacation or PTO. Again, depends on your policy and your state but just make sure you’re not getting screwed out of anything. NOT LEGAL ADVICE, NOT LEGAL ADVICE, NOT LEGAL ADVICE, BUT SUPER AWESOME ADVICE, NOT LEGAL ADVICE, NOT LEGAL ADVICE. HA.

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      • avatar

        sarita_f October 29, 2013, 7:30 pm

        Thanks Addie! I’m definitely working through the checklist on all of this. I don’t think there is room for the commissions – they’re not earned until the equipment ships. I’d only gone through the Identification of opportunity, quoting and negotiating processes, there wasn’t even a verbal agreement. And we had “Unlimited Vacation” which means there was no PTO accrual. The only thing I can think of that I’d like to go for is small potatoes – they were supposed to contribute to a certain tax-advantaged account and they didn’t start contributing until a few months in to my employment. My boss inquired up the chain at the time but got crickets.

        Anyways, thank you so much! Very much appreciate it!

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    • avatar

      sarita_f October 29, 2013, 7:09 pm

      Hi friends! I just wanted to stop by and say thank you so much for the words of encouragement. Things are looking up and I’m feeling hopeful. I have a few avenues open to me, and one is to stay in the same general area of sales but I have some major reservations about the non-compete-style language in the NDA I signed upon commencement of my employment at my last place. I need to figure out how to find a good lawyer to advise what activities are and are not allowed per that agreement. I am in a “right to work” state but I want to steer far clear of violating this agreement for many reasons, including the fact that this industry is incestuous and I just can’t predict when I may come across my former company. I also want to retain the glowing reviews my direct boss has promised me.

      If there’s any possible way to find this advice for free or low cost that would be VASTLY preferable. But I don’t know how to vet any potential attorneys – anyone know if there are specific certification I should look for (beyond, duh, passing the bar in my state) for this kind of law? Any favorite resources for finding low-cost legal advice?

      Thanks again for the support, guys. Really appreciated.

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  • Classic

    Classic October 26, 2013, 1:17 am

    It is heavy, Sarita, and not easy to handle when life changes unexpectedly. You have always been a strong and powerful presence here. Clearly you stand strong on your own, but know that also we are here for you.

    Reply Link
  • FireStar

    FireStar October 26, 2013, 9:31 pm

    My weekend will be quiet. Just preparing for a city hearing regarding the neighbour who runs a music/recording studio of out his house every day all day long. His wife passed away about 3 months ago and he has a new girlfriend already. This has nothing to do with the studio but holy that’s fast – right? I feel like I might haunt my husband if he moved that fast. Otherwise just hanging out with the little one who just turned 3 months this week. I’m a little beat. Which is normal I’m sure but my husband is getting on my last nerve these days. Anyone else ever contemplate homicide of a spouse? It’s a good thing he is good with the baby. It’s practically all that is keeping him alive these days.

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy October 27, 2013, 7:27 am

      I think when Jackson was three months old, I was ready to kill everyone! I found that starting at two and a half months until we got j sleep-trained around two months later, I was feeling my worst. For me anyway, that is when the impact of sleep deprivation really hit hardest and I had a difficult time functioning in basic ways, let alone being a nice person. It gets better!

      Reply Link
  • katie

    katie October 26, 2013, 10:22 pm

    i helped sex and name 6 new kittens today! so cute. the people who brought them in named one boots and one blondie, so we kept with the B theme and i named one girl babette.

    awwwww babette.

    Reply Link
    • katie

      katie October 26, 2013, 10:27 pm

      also, i just googled how to sex a kitten (i havent done it in forever!) and now im second guessing all my decisions today.

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland October 27, 2013, 10:43 am

        Is kitten sexing like chick sexing? My grandma was always so good at kitten sexing because they had so many farm cats, but I’ve only ever done it with baby chickens.

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      • katie

        katie October 27, 2013, 12:58 pm

        its probably similar, ive seen chick sexing done, but i dont actually know how to do it… and i used to be pretty good too because of farm cats!

        thankfully, we have a medical staff at the shelter that will hopefully be better then me and the other volunteer who just needed to fill out their nametags, haha

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      • avatar

        Nadine October 27, 2013, 10:47 am

        What…what is ‘sexing’ a kitten…..?

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      • katie

        katie October 27, 2013, 12:56 pm

        figuring out if its a boy or a girl by looking at the genitalia.

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      • avatar

        Nadine October 28, 2013, 8:55 am

        Ah. That makes sense. Sorry, I just had a flashback to primary school, where ‘sexing’ or ‘doing sex’ was the common term for having sex, haha.

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  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland October 27, 2013, 10:43 am

    I failed at Halloween-sluttery but I did succeed in boozing this weekend. Friday we went to the neighborhood Halloween Party which was full of people 20+ years older than me but they had amazing cheese and sausage and warm Hallo-wine that I drank too much of and got kind of giggly. So I was probably that drunk 23 year old at the neighborhood bonfire. That’s alright, someone had to do it.

    Then Saturday I was supposed to go to that awesome Halloween Costume Contest at that bar, right? Well, because Benjamin and I are holed up with his mother we would have to sneak out (what is my life?) so we wouldn’t have to show her our bondage-themed-esque costume. But then for dinner she opened some wine and we both got significantly intoxicated off of someone’s homemade White Chocolate Port and then couldn’t really drive/were super exhausted/not sure how to be drunk and sneaky. So we just watched Breaking Bad and went to bed.

    Oh life.

    Reply Link
  • sobriquet

    sobriquet October 27, 2013, 5:47 pm

    Our engagement party was last night and it was SO MUCH FUN. More than I could have ever anticipated. I’m still smiling despite only getting 6 hours of drunken sleep. The party was at 6 and I expected everyone to be gone by 10 at the latest, but almost everyone stayed until 1 in the morning. The weather was perfect so we spent most of the night outside. Instead of playing party games (like the newlywed game) we wrote up a multiple choice questionnaire with a grand prize and it ended up being a huge hit. It was an awesome way for some of my extended family to get to know us better and a really fun way for our friends to compete to see who knows us the best. My bff won! I really recommend it for anyone planning an engagement party or shower or something. I tend to dislike party games because they bore people, but this was interactive without needing everyone’s undivided attention.

    My future SIL came and it ended up being good. She came over to our apartment for brunch this morning, too, and although she did pull me aside for an awkward conversation (i.e. follow me into the bathroom and close the door behind us), I think I’m realizing that she’s just awkward and says and does awkward things sometimes. And after brunch they went home to their own place and that was it! It’s amazing how much not living together can mend the most fragile relationships. It’s nice to know that we can be friendly. She even thanked me for being so kind and welcoming despite everything. I just can’t hold grudges, y’all. I can’t do it. I’ve never been able to. I don’t even hate my ex, who did and said the most horrible things to me. So I think we’re gonna be just fine.

    Oh, and our refrigerator and bar are both stocked for an eternity now, too. Wins all around!

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