I got a question from a reader this week that I thought would be a great prompt for our open thread this weekend. She asked:
“How did you and your readers know when the one is the one? I’m young, but can pinpoint the exact moment when I knew that everything about this relationship was fulfilling and meant to be in my life for the duration. How did you and your readers know? Was there a moment? A culmination of moments?”
Well, I don’t believe there are always moments “you know.” It’s a romantic notion, but I tend to think the knowing happens over the course of a relationship, through a series of ups and downs that bring a couple closer together and signal they’ve made the right choice in one another. That said, I did actually experience a “moment” with Drew when I knew he was it.
It was in October 2006, six months after we’d met. Up to that point in our relationship, we’d been long distance the whole time — with him living in NYC and me in Chicago, and the two of us flying back and forth every few weeks to see each other. The distance was hard and taking a toll on me (and him, too, of course). I wasn’t sure if there was a future for us knowing I’d have to make so many sacrifices to be with him. He’d made it clear he was not leaving his hometown of New York, while I’d always said I’d consider relocating. But being faced with the reality of that decision was difficult and I didn’t know if I could do it — if I wanted to do it. Was Drew worth it?
Well, in October 2006, on one of my visits to New York to see him, I decided that maybe I didn’t think he was. I told him I couldn’t see him anymore and that this visit would be my last. It was all very sad, and saying good-bye was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. I cried all the way to the airport. At the gate, waiting for my flight, I met up with my BFF, who’d also been visiting NYC for the weekend (he stayed with some other friends). I told him what happened, crying the whole time. We were so engrossed in the story that we missed the boarding call for our flight. In fact, it wasn’t until the plane was leaving the gate that we even realized we were the only two people left sitting there.
Long story short, the plane left without us and without any other flights leaving for Chicago that evening, we were stuck spending another night in New York. Chad went back to his friends’ apartment, and I called Drew and asked if I could stay at his place one more night. He was hesitant at first, considering the way we’d left things, but as soon as I stepped off the bus and saw him, all the doubt, worry and sadness I’d been feeling disappeared. I had been so heartbroken thinking I was never going to see him again, and now here he was, just a few hours later with that big, warm smile on his face and I knew in that moment, I’d made a mistake. He was worth it. He was totally worth it. He made me happier than I’d ever felt and I was a fool for almost throwing it away. I told him so, and we’ve never looked back. The rest, as they say, is history.
So, what about you? When did you know the one was the one? Was there a moment? A culmination of moments? Are you still waiting to know? Are you still waiting to find him or her?