Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

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Tomorrow! Tomorrow is the first DW cross-country virtual meetup between San Diego and New York. If you are in or close to either of those places this weekend, go to the meetups, make some new friends, and bask in the glory of late spring wonder. I’ll be holding down court in Sheep Meadow in Central Park from 1 PM on. I’ll try to find a shady spot nearish the west side entrance, not too far from the bathrooms (close to where we were for last year’s picnic โ€” pic above โ€” for those of you who were there and remember). Look for a big bright pink blanket. We’re going to attempt a FaceTime chat with San Diego DWers around 4:30 PM EST. Fun times.

On Tuesday, Drew, Jackson and I head to Missouri to see my family. We’ll be in Springfield for four days (DW Ozark Meetup?) and St. Louis for two days. I probably won’t be online too much, and in the event I’m not able to line up as much content as I’d like before we take off, posting might be on the light side for the next week or so. I’m sure you’ll all manage. Just repeat to yourself: This too shall pass.

I’m hoping to make a big dent in reading “My Husband’s Secret” while we’re away, if not on the plane, then lounging by the community pool in my parents’ neighborhood because, you know: toddlers + air travel and toddlers + community pools = lots of leisurely reading time.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Can you believe it’s June starting Sunday? JUNE!

PS I was looking for sandals and wedges to wear this summer and found these… in case you are looking for a shoe that will get you noticed.

116 comments… add one
  • avatar

    AKchic May 30, 2014, 4:09 pm

    I wish I had more time for reading. The last week I’ve done nothing but sleep. And gain 15lbs.

    This weekend is busy setting up our site at the Ren Fair and watching Power Rangers with the youngest. That’s his latest craze.

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  • avatar

    kerrycontrary May 30, 2014, 4:11 pm

    I’m sad I won’t be in new york with you all, but I’m going to Vancouver on Thursday! Yay! I’m busy prepping for my trip. My fiance is pretty much moved in (his lease officially ends tomorrow). I’m hoping that in July we’ll finally find out where we’re moving to. This weekend I have the itch to exercise.

    Oh, and I had a total meltdown on Sunday because none of my shorts fit even though I exercise/watch what I eat. Not sure if it’s because working out is making me hungrier, I’m building muscle in my butt/thighs, my body is changing (my sister went from hour glass to pear at my age so it’s plausible), or I’m just gaining weight. But I cried and cried. And the thing is, I really like how I look naked right now and I think my body looks pretty good, especially my arm muscles. So the solution? BUY BIGGER SHORTS. So that’s what I’m going with right now. As long as my wedding dress fits we’re good.

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    • avatar

      TECH May 30, 2014, 4:21 pm

      You’re working out and eating right. That’s all that matters. Women should be concerned about muscle mass. Most women don’t have much muscle. I know I’ve built up a little muscle since I started kick boxing. You look good naked, that’s what matters, right?
      Someone women don’t weight much, but they’re weaklings, and that’s not healthy either.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary May 30, 2014, 4:24 pm

        Yeh I think I’m just afraid I’ll be one of those people who keeps gaining as they get older and I don’t want to be overweight/unhealthy when I’m older like my parents are. In july my fiance and I are arranging our schedules so I can go to Spin once a week so that should help too. It’s just hard to switch my thought process on weight/body type/fitness.

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland May 30, 2014, 4:47 pm

        I’m a weakling. ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • lemongrass

      lemongrass May 30, 2014, 4:35 pm

      Have fun in Vancouver!!!

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary May 30, 2014, 4:39 pm

        Thanks I am soooo excited for my vacay days there. I have it all planned out (weather dependent–but I’m bringing a rain jacket of course). The professional conference days are going to be very long days, but it’ll be a great experience.

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass May 30, 2014, 4:49 pm

        Definitely bring a rain jacket!

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    • veritek33

      veritek33 May 30, 2014, 4:56 pm

      I actually saw my doctor to day and had blood drawn because I’m having the same problem. Working out like a fiend and watching my calories, cutting back on alcohol, not eating fast food or junk food etc and I’m not able to lose a pound!
      They’re testing my thyroid and metabolism. My Doctor said “you’re doing everything right.”

      So I feel you Kerry, I feel you. But if you look good naked, that’s awesome too!

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary May 30, 2014, 5:11 pm

        Yeh I see my neuro soon so I’m going to ask about the current medication I take and my weight. Basically I’ve gained 10lbs since starting this medicine. But the issue is that this medication has helped my migraines, so having frequent migraines is not worth losing weight…I’ll ask my PCP about thyroid when I see her this fall.

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    • avatar

      snoopy128 May 30, 2014, 8:52 pm

      I feel ya! I’ve put on so much muscle and gotten so much stronger since my surgery almost 2 years ago..but I’m the exact same weight, with more muscle…but all my old pants are quite snug. I put on my ‘work pants’ this summer and I have to be very careful when I sit down. I want to tell myself it’s just the added muscle mass, but I’ve been trying so hard to ‘cut back’ a bit…and nothing changes. But I like how I look naked, too.

      Screw this sizing thing. I hate buying bigger clothes..but it’s not like I feel good in the too-tight stuff.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    No Pants May 30, 2014, 4:36 pm

    Was anyone else in high school in the early and mid 90s? I read a style article the other day and the girl said, “I just read somewhere that tying a flannel shirt around your waist is ‘in,’ so I decided to try it today. I’ve never heard of that.” AHHHHH. I guess I’m finally old enough that styles that were popular when I was a tween/teen are coming back.

    Reply Link
    • cmary

      cmary May 30, 2014, 4:38 pm

      My mom referred to anything tied around the waist as “The Adolescent Ass Wrap,” and it was not allowed.

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      • avatar

        No Pants May 30, 2014, 4:41 pm

        Hahaha love it. I am pretty sure I had either a flannel or denim shirt tied around my waist from 1992 – 1997.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra May 30, 2014, 5:13 pm

        I had a denim cat shirt. And I used to wear my awesome flannel shirt over all my cat shirts. Evidently I started my crazy cat lady tendencies early.

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    • avatar

      HmC May 30, 2014, 5:09 pm

      Haha, also, Birkenstocks and Doc Martens! Yes!!!

      Reply Link
      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny May 30, 2014, 5:16 pm

        I still have my Doc Martens from 1998!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy May 30, 2014, 7:06 pm

        I still have my doc martens from 1993! Booyah.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow May 30, 2014, 7:39 pm

      One of the “older” people in my nursing class makes fun of me for dressing 90s all the time. She’s like, “My 12-year-old daughter would LOVE your outfit right now!!”
      .
      Yeah, maybe I dress like a tween. But I was in high school in the 90s and I still like that style. Seriously, I want to wear, like, crushed velvet babydoll dresses with combat boots every day.

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      • avatar

        Banana June 1, 2014, 2:04 pm

        I LOVE that the 90s are making a comeback. I ditto your style desires, and add that I’ve been buying a ton of clothes as I find them that are in the 90s grunge style. So far I picked up a black babydoll dress with buttons down the front, two tiny-print floral ones, and a plaid sheath dress. Babydoll dress with biker shorts underneath? YES!

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 5:44 pm

        YES, YES, and YES!
        .
        Soon I’ll start dressing like Blossom.

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  • lemongrass

    lemongrass May 30, 2014, 4:37 pm

    Those shoes are the creepiest things I have ever seen.
    I’m buying a new dishwasher this weekend because the one in my house is old, small, loud and the door creaks when I open it. I feel spoiled for buying a new one when it works just fine but whatevs.

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    • Miss MJ

      Miss MJ May 31, 2014, 11:15 am

      Yes, those shoes are the stuff of nightmares! Also, I am jealous of your new dishwasher. Our place doesn’t have one, and putting one in would use up a lot of the cabinet space (gotta love a tiny condo kitchen!), but I’m awfully tired of hand washing dishes. I’m contemplating getting a portable one, but that seems silly and unnecessary.

      Reply Link
  • veritek33

    veritek33 May 30, 2014, 4:55 pm

    I’d come to an Ozarks or St. Louis DW meetup!!

    Reply Link
    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow May 30, 2014, 7:41 pm

      Float trip!! Let’s DO IT.
      .
      Also, Wendy, one of these days we need to do a STL meetup when you are here.

      Reply Link
      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy May 30, 2014, 9:04 pm

        I know! We do. I’m just always in and out so quickly.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow May 30, 2014, 9:30 pm

        And I’m always so busy. But I bet if we plan it in advance, some out-of-towners can come too, like Veritek. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  • katie

    Katie May 30, 2014, 4:58 pm

    Soooooo real quick poll- boudoir photos done by a former high school classmate who is now a photographer (/director/actor) in la and coming to chicago for a week …..?

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest May 30, 2014, 5:04 pm

      Are you more comfortable because its your friend? If so, then go for it. I would probably be more comfortable with a stranger though. Yay sexy pictures!

      Reply Link
      • katie

        Katie May 30, 2014, 5:09 pm

        Yes, actually. Like I’ve always wanted to do this but the random groupon deals for it always seemed weird to me. So I feel better/safer about it this way. Plus it’s not like we are friends, I haven’t seen him since graduation, and won’t after this you know?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest May 30, 2014, 5:14 pm

        Sounds perfect then.

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    • veritek33

      veritek33 May 30, 2014, 5:16 pm

      I’ve done boudoir photos and I thought it was a great and fun experience. Go for it!

      Reply Link
    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow May 30, 2014, 7:42 pm

      Why not? I did it with a friend of a friend and it was OK.

      Reply Link
    • katie

      Katie May 30, 2014, 8:47 pm

      NEVERMIND I’ll be out of town for work that week. Dang! I really want to do those!

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass May 30, 2014, 9:22 pm

        You won’t regret it. I am so glad I got them done especially now that I’ve had kids and my body has changed.

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  • avatar

    Painted_lady May 30, 2014, 4:58 pm

    iseeshiny, THOSE SHOES ARE STALKING YOU.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      iseeshiny May 31, 2014, 8:53 am

      EVERYWHERE I GO, THERE THEY ARE. STARING.

      Reply Link
  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny May 30, 2014, 5:17 pm

    Those shoes make me think of those haunted house paintings- wherever you go, eyes are watching you. Yikes.

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  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland May 30, 2014, 6:46 pm

    Guys I bought my first maxi-skirt! I realized that I’m probably going to want something not-farm-y to wear around town on my Vacation (I mean… externship… yeah…) so I stopped at Target on a whim and ended up getting a ridiculously flattering swimsuit on sale AND a maxi skirt that makes me feel like a mermaid. Also why did no one tell me that maxi skirts look awesome on 5’10” skinny girls? And that somehow miraculously the maxi skirt was long enough for me?

    It’s this one, except in this pretty sage green color: http://www.target.com/p/mossimo-women-s-trumpet-maxi-skirt-assorted-colors/-/A-15152429#prodSlot=large_1_1

    And then my swimsuit is kinda like this, but not crochet, and more ruffled, and in periwinkle purply-blue: http://www.target.com/p/mossimo-women-s-crochet-hanky-swim-top-isle-green/-/A-14757365?reco=Rec%7Cpdp%7C14757365%7CClickCP%7Citem_page.vertical_1&lnk=Rec%7Cpdp%7CClickCP%7Citem_page.vertical_1

    But it makes my boobs look bigger without loads of padding and it seems like it will stay on well so win for me! And it was $14 for the top and the bottom!

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow May 30, 2014, 7:46 pm

    My weekend is dedicated to homework and belly dance practice.f
    .
    But I’m drunk right now. I only had 3 beers but I have the hiccups.
    .
    In other news, I visited the floor I’ll be “working” on with my preceptor this summer, and it’s….scary. Admittedly, I’ve never been on any type of ICU before. But it was kind of like “House” where all the walls are glass and there aren’t really doors so you can always see the patients. Each patient had a nurse sitting right outside their room, just watching them (The ratio is 1:1 or 2:1). I’ve never seen so many machines and tubes coming off one person before! And my preceptor, when I went to visit, showed me that her patient still had her chest wide open after heart surgery. She was like, “If I pulled this bandage back, we’d see her heart.” SCARY!!!

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow May 30, 2014, 7:47 pm

      But my friend (a nurse) told me, “After this, you will be prepared for ANYthing.” So… yay?
      .
      Ugh I’m going to kill someone. Probably by tripping over a cord/tube.

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    • avatar

      AliceInDairyland May 30, 2014, 10:08 pm

      OMG SO COOL.

      I watched heart surgery (PDA) on a puppy once. It was insane. I put my finger on its tiny little beating heart. Who knows, you could fall head over heels for critical care and ditch women’s health. Enjoy it so much for me!

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 9:04 am

        I’m actually glad I went with something other than OB so I can learn more. And who knows, maybe I’ll get hooked! I just have to get over feeling intimidated by it.

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow May 30, 2014, 7:51 pm

    Oh, and can I say how insanely jealous I am of everyone doing the meetup??? I’ve met: iwannatalktosampson, addie pray, katie, and iseeshiny. And they are all awesome. So it makes me want to meet more!!! Fab and LBH, text me or something so I feel included. ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • lemongrass

      lemongrass May 31, 2014, 10:33 am

      I’ve never met anyone ๐Ÿ™

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow May 30, 2014, 7:52 pm

    AND I HEREBY DOMINATE THE SIDEBAR.

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  • avatar

    Taylor May 30, 2014, 10:30 pm

    Those shoes freaked me out.

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  • Lyra

    Lyra May 30, 2014, 11:46 pm

    Tonight has been low key. I’m done with regular school stuff for the year and that’s really exciting! It’s been such a good year. I’ve been cleaning, DWing, reading, catching up on podcasts… It has been quiet and awesome and good.
    .
    Navy Guy is doing political things for part of this weekend so I’ll see him tomorrow night and Sunday. His niece’s birthday party is on Sunday. I’m not sure if I’ll get her something — maybe I’ll get her some yarn and a crochet hook and teach her how to crochet? But she’s only 4 so…maybe next year haha. Any ideas? I want it to be cheap and maybe homemade. Or maybe I’ll just help NG find something if he hasn’t already and sign the card. Hmm.
    .
    Next week is my “summer break” since I start my part time jobs the week after. I’m going to enjoy it as much as possible. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ll have some time off during the summer, but not as much as normal teachers get. Yay summer!

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    • Ella

      Ella May 31, 2014, 7:59 am

      Do you know what she likes? My nephew is turning 4 and he loves the Avengers so I just bought him some Avengers coloring books – maybe some sort of cute themed book or puzzle? Your crochet idea is great but she might be a little too young.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra May 31, 2014, 11:23 am

        Yeah the crochet idea I think I would need to wait a couple years. I know she does like Dora the Explorer. For Easter I picked up a cheap stuffed animal that she LOVED and carried with her everywhere. She has a lot of stuffed animals but I think she’s like I was when I was her age and she wouldn’t mind getting another. ๐Ÿ™‚ Although coloring books are also fun. Hah! I could totally make Navy Guy + brothers color with her. That would be the cutest thing everrr.

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    • katie

      Katie May 31, 2014, 10:57 am

      Coloring book and crayons. Always a good choice for kids

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      • Lyra

        Lyra May 31, 2014, 11:24 am

        Yeah I think I’ll go with that…

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  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland May 31, 2014, 8:16 am

    Guys I got into a drunk fight last night (kind of, as close as I can get to fighting in public) with a guy because somehow we got on the topic of opening doors for people. And I mentioned how Benjamin will open the first airlock door for me, and then I will open the second airlock door for him in buildings. And then he told me that opening a door for my boyfriend was emasculating him.

    Fuck. That. Noise.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      iseeshiny May 31, 2014, 8:50 am

      Word. You know what is emasculating? Cutting off a dude’s genitals. That is literally the only thing that is emasculating.

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland May 31, 2014, 1:56 pm

        I actually own a tool that is literally called an emasculator. It’s for cattle and horses… But I kinda feel like I need to keep it in my purse for show and tell in these sorts of situations.

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    • katie

      Katie May 31, 2014, 11:00 am

      It’s ok over Memorial Day I got into a religious debate with some apparently real *southern* southerners. Way more embarrassing to do that with family friends then with random strangers.
      .
      BUT I DIDNT BRING IT UP! It was not my fault.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 3:35 pm

        uhhh so can you use descriptions of what the people were like rather than just being “southern?”

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 8:42 pm

        Please. You know what she meant. I know stereotypes suck, but I’m sure there are plenty of southerners that would take the implication of “conservative Christian” as a compliment. Just because it doesn’t apply to you, you got bristly. If by “southern” Katie had implied “had exceptionally good manners” I doubt you would have cared one bit.
        .
        And for someone who is used to an urban northern area (like Chicago, in katie’s case), they get used to being able to say certain things without anyone blinking an eye. Going to another region can be like culture shock.

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      • katie

        katie June 1, 2014, 9:06 pm

        Culture shock is a good word for it. Jakes brother lives where they still fly the confederate flag and the people I was arguing with think that black people and white people marrying is “interbreeding”. And that is normal there according to jakes SIL, who is a very liberal southerner. Talking with her, after they left, just the two of us, was interesting, learning about what is “normal” there, because she is a very liberal coughed dr. She is like a lone wolf.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 9:25 pm

        Dude, it’s almost culture shock for me when I encounter those types of people too. They’re nightmares. I get in those type fights on a regular basis, although I’ve learned to just stop associating with people who have those opinions, family or not. You shouldn’t be embarrassed. You should be proud you said something, because not everyone will confront someone’s bigotry, and it can be really difficult to do.

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      • katie

        katie June 1, 2014, 10:06 pm

        Yea I mean, I tried not to say a lot, honestly, because they are family friends -they introduced jakes brother and his wife, jakes SIL and the lady have been friends since they were 5- so I wasn’t like mean or anything. And like I said, she brought it up, I didn’t! And I will give her credit, even after that she gave me aloe for my sunburn. She they are good people, just good people who are racist and bigoted…. Sigh….
        .
        Also I’ve been drinking so sorry about those typos. I couldn’t even tell you what I was trying to say haha

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:15 pm

        It’s cool,my autocorrect is screwing me over tonight.

        “They are good people, just good people who are racist and bigoted.”
        .
        God, this issue is SO complicated here. Seriously. Like you don’t want to get into a real fight with someone who is nice to you because then you’re shitty, and then politically people confuse nice with good for our state/country, and then it’s “rude” to talk about your opinions or confront someone else’s, and then a bigot wins. It’s probably one of our major cultural problems that gets us where we are politically. People don’t think they should debate or challenge each other, and then it goes downhill from there, and sooner or later, our “nice” politicians vote on horrible things that most of us don’t agree with, but too many people are afraid to speak up. Also I’m drinking too, so that’s not like my ultimate analysis of that cultural point or anything. Just an alcohol induced theory.

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      • katie

        katie June 1, 2014, 10:26 pm

        Yep, and then, as my SIl says, “welcome to the south!”.
        .
        I mean I hope it changes. I hope that it’s not just a known thing that the south is what they are known for now. That their maps will become different colors during elections, ect. And it will happen if more people like you, actual southerners who live there, and like jakes SIL, speak up, because I am so sure that on the car ride home they were like “that liberal Chicago bitch bla bla bla” about me. Like I bring absolutely zero credibility because I live in a probable “liberal hell” of Chicago, haha

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:38 pm

        Hahaha, “liberal hell.” I really hope someone uses that phrase in seriousness because that is hilarious. The south is very much changing though. Our numbers get bluer all the time. It’s a slow process, but I kind of love it because I know that every trip to the voting booth makes a huge difference. Every letter I send is heard, and my liberal perspectives are actually fresh. I think there’s a lot of hoping for our generation to get new, open minded people in office and make big well-informed changes.
        .
        Where were these people from, out of curiosity?

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      • katie

        katie June 1, 2014, 10:42 pm

        I don’t know exactly, somewhere outside of Greenville, sc.

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      • katie

        katie June 1, 2014, 10:56 pm

        Oh also zero credibility because I admitted that I think the bible is just a lot of stories. I’m sure I lost lots of points with that one.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 11:08 pm

        Hahaha, Katie kAtie Katie. Rule number 1 in arguing with those folks: pretend to be a Christian and use the bible to make your argument for you. You’re right. There’s no credibility if they don’t believe you’re playing for the same team. (TEAM JESUS!)
        .
        I never actually say I’m a Christian. I just don’t say anything about it, and if I mention something like “Jesus said to love one another first,” then it’s like I’m just speaking their language. Maybe it’s questionable ethically, but it’s a tried and true technique. Haha

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 9:21 pm

        Asking someone to not generalize about you is not being “bristly.” I made my point in a very respectful way actually. I don’t think Katie meant anything wrong by it, which is why I just kindly pointed it out instead of jumping on her for it like I could have. You wouldn’t agree that someone should just suck it up and understand that race or gender or orientation based stereotypes don’t apply to them. This isn’t as severe, but it’s still unkind and judgmental, especially to those of us down here fighting the good fight every fucking day. And your right. I wouldn’t have cared if she generalized in a positive way, because that’s not insulting. Obviously.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 9:26 pm

        *you’re not your.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 9:29 pm

        I’m saying you accept the stereotypes that YOU think are positive and use them to defend your region but deny the other things that you personally disagree wit. Going to the south from another region IS like a culture shock. I know not *everyone*down there is a conservative Christian Republican, or a racist, but it was clear by Katie’s comment what she was referring to. She didn’t say, “Oh I argued with all these SOUTHERN people about being SOUTHERN,” but made it clear it was about religion. And to deny that the south isn’t dominated by conservative Christians would just be false.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 9:38 pm

        Yeah, everyone is okay with having things attributed to them when they’re positive and not when they’re negative. No newsflash there, but you brought up the politeness thing anyway. I’m not even starting on that.
        .
        I’m not arguing that it’s not culture shock? I totally get that. That doesn’t mean that “very southern”= bigoted asshole, okay? I’m also not denying the area has lots of conservative Christians. I live here every day. But identify them as conservative Christians, not as being “very southern.” Being southern does not mean conservative christian. (And again Katie , I really don’t think you meant it in a nasty way, and I was just trying to point out the difference to you.)
        .
        Do you realize that you could change your argument around for so many other nasty generalizations? “Black man = criminal, because lots of them have been incarcerated. Just get over it and know it doesn’t apply to you if your record is clean because you knew what they meant.” Obviously that’s not okay. I’m just asking that people think about what they’re saying about southerners as a group of people too. It’s not on the same level, but it’s the same principle at play. Identify who you are referring to, rather than a whole group of people.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 9:44 pm

        So you’re assuming that “religious argument” = “bigoted asshole?” That’s very telling.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 9:51 pm

        Very telling about what exactly? That’s what the implication seemed to be because it almost always is with southern stereotypes. If it wasn’t that, then maybe I don’t know what she meant after all, which just strengthens the need for clarity. I don’t know why you’re so passionate about this, Cats.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 10:28 pm

        I’m saying that some people would consider that a “good” stereotype – yes we DO uphold conservative Christian values! But since you don’t want to be lumped in with it, you are arguing against it, even though it IS the majority of that region. But when someone talks about “southern values” everyone knows what it means and doesn’t question it.

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      • katie

        katie June 1, 2014, 10:33 pm

        Yea this is very true. “Southern values” are a real thing real thing and a lot of people are very proud of that…

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:40 pm

        Well you have two people here questioning it, so…

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 10:24 pm

        “Good” stereotypes are never good. Saying that all Asians are good at math could be perceived as good, but it still isn’t. I’m saying you accept the things you like, but fight against everything else.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:29 pm

        So you’re just analyzing me as a person and what I’m willing to accept and not accept? That’s cool. I’m not saying I’m not flawed. But since I perceive politeness as a quality I want to have, I’m not offended by that. If someone said I was polite, I wouldn’t be offended. But you brought all of that up, and I don’t understand why because it’s completely irrelevant. If you don’t think “positive” stereotypes are good, then don’t use those either. Don’t use their acceptance as a reason to use negative ones too.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 10:42 pm

        So if everyone makes a generalization about the south that you personally agree with, it’s OK?

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:45 pm

        Cats, you are the ones that brought up the positive generalizations, not me. They are irrelevant as far as I’m concerned, and you’re only using that argument to justify mean spirited comments toward other people. I’m not responding to the “positive stereotype” issue anymore, because you’re literally not going anywhere with that, and I’ve already responded plenty to it.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 9:42 pm

        All I’m saying is, if you’re ok with “positive” stereotypes then why not others? A lot of people wouldn’t consider “everyone is Christian” as a negative stereotype. i know not everyone in the South is the same. But saying that you are more likely to encounter one type of person in a certain region of the county isn’t at all the same as generalizing based on race or gender. Brooklyn might have been a hipster mecca, but that doesn’t mean I believe that Wendy herself is a hipster (If you are, Wendy, no shame). It just means that if someone was like, “Whoa I encountered a total Brooklynite” that everyone would know what they meant.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 9:49 pm

        Well for one thing, Brooklyn stereotypes (whatever they are) don’t carry nearly the weight as the nasty southern ones do. It really sucks to be grouped in with bigotry, slavery, evangelism, sexism, barest, toothless, incest, and hatred every single day. It’s not like it’s one negative stereotype in a bunch of positive ones. It’s two positive ones (manners and friendliness) in a sea of nasty stereotypes that hardly apply to everyone down here. There are more people here that aren’t those things than people who are, so it doesn’t make sense. If you don’t understand why it sucks to be looked at that way, this is a pointless conversation. I’m just asking that people be slightly thoughtful about what they’re saying, but for some reason you think that’s just way too much to ask.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 9:52 pm

        *barefeet, not barest. Auto correct is stupid.

        Oh yeah, lack of education too.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 10:00 pm

        What i’m saying is that by Katie’s description, “southern” clearly meant “conservative Christian,” so she wasn’t implying toothless barefoot inbred anything, She was implying a religious standpoint that is clearly dominant in the south that she might not always encounter in Chicago so it took her off-guard. I understand that you don’t want to identify with those other stereotypes, but she didn’t imply any of those things.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:04 pm

        If she implied conservative Christian, then she did imply things that I don’t want to be generalized to me, and that many southerners wouldn’t want either. I get what you’re saying, Cats. You think people should just suck up things that are negatively generalized to them just because they belong to a group of people. Makes total sense.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 10:26 pm

        Not at all. In fact, everything we’re talking about can be applied to Missouri. Look at how many votes TODD AKIN got! If people want to generalize the political or religious leanings of my state, I can be like, “But not me!” or accept that it’s the majority.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:43 pm

        But we’re not talking about Missouri, and your feelings about it don’t mean that no one else can feel differently, or that anyone with different feelings should just get over them.

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      • Miss MJ

        Miss MJ June 1, 2014, 10:12 pm

        “But saying that you are more likely to encounter one type of person in a certain region of the county isnโ€™t at all the same as generalizing based on race or gender. ”

        So, you’re saying that in your opinion, it’s okay to perpetuate certain types of harmful, ignorant and uninformed stereotypes because you just can’t possibly imagine how they could be offensive to those people and therefore, because you can’t imagine it’s offensive, then “it isn’t at all the same thing.” Yeah, no. That’s not how it works. How about, since you “know not everyone in the South is the same,” then you stop trying to say it’s okay to generalize them as if they were because, since we’re NOT all the same, implying that it’s fine to use the word “southern” as synonymous with racist, conservative and backward is fairly insulting to those of us who don’t take any of those terms a compliment.

        Also, I can’t believe this is actually a conversation.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:16 pm

        THANK YOU!!!

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl June 2, 2014, 8:40 am

        Just want to say, as a person who’s adopted the south as my home (and part of my identity), I’m with you and MissMJ.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:26 pm

        And sorry to piggy back off of you, but there’s a major difference between pointing out that you’re more likely to find conservative Christians in the south and equating us all with that. Stating a fact looks like: “Statistically, the south has more conservative Christians than any other demographic.” Not generalizing us all.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 10:29 pm

        But I wasn’t equating all southerners with conservative Christians! I was saying that given Katie’s context, it was obvious what she was referring to and I didn’t understand your defensiveness.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:33 pm

        What you don’t get is that I wasn’t being defensive to begin with. I always seem to get called that around here though. I simply asked Katie to clarify what she meant instead of just saying “southern,” because it’s a conversation worth having to those of us who belong to that generalization. You are the one that made this argumentative. You are spending a lot of energy defending negative stereotypes instead of just taking it as a tiny, microscopic learning opportunity in how to be more sensitive.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 10:39 pm

        Well, when it comes to something like etiquette or manners, you’re like, “That’s just how people are down here” no questions asked, but if it’s something YOU perceive as negative (conservative Christian), then all of a sudden it’s the worst thing in the world to make a generalization.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 10:39 pm

        But I do understand where you’re coming from.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 10:51 pm

        Yes, because I’m talking about my personal life and the culture of the people I’m friends with. Very different. And calling someone polite is a compliment, not an insult.
        .
        I think if you understood where I was coming from, you wouldn’t be arguing for being nasty to southerners. If you’re saying that you literally only wanted to argue with me to point out what you perceive as a personal flaw (willingness to compliment my friends and an unwillingness to insult entire groups of people), then I guess I don’t understand why that personally matters to you so much.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 10:56 pm

        I wasn’t arguing FOR being nasty to southerners. I’m against generalizations, in general (ha?).
        .
        I just think if you’re admitting one stereotype to be true, and not finding an issue with it, then why get SO upset when someone mentions another one? To me it’s either both or neither. And I’m arguing for neither.
        .
        But also I’m just drunk and arguing technicalities for some reason (“if good stereotypes are ‘true’ then why aren’t ‘bad’ ones?? and ‘it was obvious what katie meant) so I apologize.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 11:02 pm

        For real, though. I hate stereotypes, I’m just being a drunk asshole for some reason.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 1, 2014, 11:03 pm

        Well because speaking about my personal experience as a southerner and an actual distribution of the characteristics of the people I know isn’t the same as an “All Asians are good at math” generalization. It’s my personal life. A real description of my friends and family. Not a negative stereotype from an outsider. If Katie had said that she was arguing with southern conservative Christians, I wouldn’t have had a problem with it because she would have been identifying people she knew rather than generalizing all of us without knowing us. Does that make any sense? It’s partially a proximity issue, and a personal vs. everyone issue.
        .
        I wasn’t SO upset in the first place, but thanks for apologizing, and I’m sorry for being nasty to you here. What you’re saying down here doesn’t sound like what you said up thread, so it’s okay. Are we cool, bro?

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 11:09 pm

        Cool, bro. I won’t be an ass anymore, I promise.

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    • LlamaPajamas

      LlamaPajamas May 31, 2014, 1:06 pm

      That’s such bullshit! My parents raised my sister and me to hold the door open for whoever is behind us, and they would have raised their sons that way if they’d had any. At least half of the men I’ve held doors open for in my life have refused to walk through in front of me because “ladies first”. I force myself to smile at them and tell them it’s their turn for common courtesy, but in my head I’m like “stop trying to force society’s lame ass definition of what it means to be a man on me and walk through the effing door, you mofo.”

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  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland May 31, 2014, 2:01 pm

    PS I’m in Indiana!! And my audiobook is SO GOOD. Everyone, it is called The Running Game by Stephen King. Now gonna get an iced coffee and get back in the car and go!

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    • avatar

      stickelet June 1, 2014, 2:03 pm

      Aw, where in Indiana were you? I’m in Fort Wayne.

      Reply Link
  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray May 31, 2014, 4:32 pm

    Addie Pray and Moose just Face Timed with Wendy et. al. in New York at their meet-up in Central Park – boom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest May 31, 2014, 7:44 pm

      Yea well I just facetimed with Addie Pray on Wendy’s phone. Boom!

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    • avatar

      rachel June 1, 2014, 12:17 am

      So did me and Classic and Laura! So there!

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      • avatar

        rachel June 1, 2014, 12:19 am

        FaceTime was kinda glitchy but I saw a few lovely ladies and lil and Jackson looked adorable.

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      • Classic

        Classic June 1, 2014, 2:09 am

        Yeah AP we FaceTimed too! I got to see Rachel and Laura! They are brilliant and tiny and beautiful. What a great day.

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      • avatar

        rachel June 1, 2014, 12:03 pm

        You’re awesome Classic, it was great meeting you!

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle June 1, 2014, 12:46 pm

        CLASSIC. The FaceTime was laggy, but I saw you for a second!!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray June 1, 2014, 12:09 pm

        rachel, we need a full report, what was Classic and Laura like in person?!

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      • avatar

        rachel June 1, 2014, 5:35 pm

        They were lovely. Classic told us about living in Del Mar, and Laura and I bonded over our love of brunch.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow June 1, 2014, 9:08 am

      I’m jealous of all of you!

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    • theattack

      theattack June 1, 2014, 3:52 pm

      Can anyone confirm that LBH is real, not a hairy 70 year old man, and not a celebrity?

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle June 1, 2014, 4:08 pm

        She is real!! We were surprised, too ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  • avatar

    Sunshine Brite June 1, 2014, 5:55 pm

    We were thinking of going into NYC for our layover during our honeymoon. Where in Manhanttan should one go for one evening to eat? Neither of us has ever been

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