Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

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We’ve been in Springfield, Missouri, since Tuesday evening visiting my parents. We’re here until tomorrow and then we’ll all drive to St. Louis for a couple days to visit our extended family there. It’s thunder-stormed most of our visit, which is a drag, so we’ve had a lot of down time at my parents’ house where Jackson is keeping busy spelling words with my mother on his brand new magnetic tabletop learning easel (highly recommend for any toddler/ pre-school/ kindergarten-aged kids), and I have kept busy drinking prosecco, eating Pringles, and looking through old photo albums. When it has stopped raining briefly, we’ve gone to the zoo, Bass Pro shop to see big fish, and to a farm where we saw a 4-day-old baby goat who was so cute that I briefly felt terrible for being a carnivore. I found two 4-leaf clovers at the farm side-by-side and my mom said it means I’m going to have twins now. (I’m not pregnant, and also, let’s hope not, God). I also planted some flowers around my parents’ house, and last night Drew and I went to a redneck Bingo hall for some local flavor. Tonight my parents are babysitting again and Drew and I are heading downtown for monthly “art walk” where a friend of mine is exhibiting some paintings.

Anyway, while we were out this morning driving to the farm, I asked my parents, who have been married almost 41 years (and who also read every comment on this site, by the way, and remember every detail of all of you commenters and talk about you and what’s going on in your lives like you are all friends of mine whom they’ve known/ known of for years), if they had any tips for making relationships last they’d like to share with you. This is what they said:

Dad: Spend the first 40 years of your marriage overseas where it’s a lot harder to get divorced.

Mom: Speak the same language. (Me: “Like love language? Or like English or Hungarian?” Mom: Like English or Hungarian.” Obviously, we have both been watching “Louie” this season).

Mom: Get a lamp with a nightlight in it so you can keep different schedules.

Mom: Have stuff in common, but not everything. Like, if he grows a beard, it’s ok if you shave yours.

Mom: Have some smart ass children to prove something to (i.e. “Look at us, smart ass kids! We’ve made it almost 41 years!”).

Dad: Be in love.

86 comments… add one
  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray June 6, 2014, 4:08 pm

    Awwwwwww, I think this should become a feature. “This” being when you interview your parents and share with us their wise words. Except gawd, now how embarrassed are we all?! You guys, PARENTS, including WENDY’S PARENTS, have been reading all of our comments. Even all sex stuff, the poop stuff, and the you-name-it stuff. Egad.

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray June 6, 2014, 4:12 pm

      “This” could also be when you post pictures of Jackson’s cute and SO HAPPY face!

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass June 6, 2014, 4:12 pm

        Could he be any happier? Awesome.

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  • lemongrass

    lemongrass June 6, 2014, 4:12 pm

    Aww, it’s so sweet that your parents read everything. It almost makes me want to be on my best behaviour. Almost!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy June 6, 2014, 4:18 pm

      Yeah, they read all the comments. And they, especially my mom, remember everything. Like, at the farm today I was saying that the baby goat reminded me of AliceinDairyLand and my mom said, “She’s 5’10, you know.” (My mom is 6′).

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland June 6, 2014, 9:37 pm

        HAHAHAHAHA. This totally made my day. (And it’s my birthday today!!)

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      • avatar

        stickelet June 6, 2014, 11:23 pm

        Happy Birthday!

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  • avatar

    captainswife June 6, 2014, 4:18 pm

    Hurray, Wendy’s dad! Being in love…what a great thing to say after so long! Gives me hope..we’re “only” 23 years into it and still in love, so I hope we’re on track.

    Yes, I love the mom & dad interview idea!

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  • avatar

    rachel June 6, 2014, 4:21 pm

    Aw, I love this. Your parents are awesome, and I love how happy Jackson looks in this picture.

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh June 6, 2014, 4:23 pm

    Does Jackson add salt to his tortilla chips? I have friends who do that. I’m not a big fan of salt. I buy no salt chips and get my pretzels without salt too. I also vote for my interviews with your parents!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy June 6, 2014, 4:27 pm

      No, he just salts the table.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh June 6, 2014, 5:47 pm

        good use of salt in my opinion ๐Ÿ˜‰

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray June 6, 2014, 4:28 pm

      Oh you have to put lime on them and then salt them, duh! Jackson knows how the ropes.

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    • lemongrass

      lemongrass June 6, 2014, 4:57 pm

      Salt is the only reason to eat pretzels.

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      • cmary

        cmary June 6, 2014, 6:49 pm

        Word.

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh June 6, 2014, 5:49 pm

      also i love how i can’t type, i don’t want to interview your parents. i want more of them!

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh June 6, 2014, 5:49 pm

      also i love how i can’t type, i don’t want to interview your parents. i want more of them!

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  • Miss MJ

    Miss MJ June 6, 2014, 4:25 pm

    All of this is just so awesome! You have such a wonderful family, Wendy!

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  • avatar

    ktfran June 6, 2014, 4:41 pm

    Oh my god, I love that your parents are huge smart asses! And so effing adorable. Awesome.

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    • avatar

      ktfran June 6, 2014, 4:43 pm

      And this was the BEST “Have stuff in common, but not everything. Like, if he grows a beard, itโ€™s ok if you shave yours.”

      I just love wisdom with an added dose of fun.

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  • leeside

    leeside June 6, 2014, 4:45 pm

    I personally think they should jump in and give advice more often. They have some great stuff to share!

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  • theattack

    theattack June 6, 2014, 4:46 pm

    Whoaa I can’t believe your parents read everything and talk about us! That’s awesome and intimidating and special and everything all at once. So many feels about that. What an adorable photo!
    .
    I get to spend my weekend with 70+ family members, some of whom I haven’t seen in almost ten years, and some I’ve never met or heard of before. Everyone is piling up at my parents’ house, and we’re pitching tents in the yard, and a lot of family members are sleeping in the neighbors’ houses too.
    .
    I bought a karaoke machine last night for the occasion, and I just grabbed a pack of four CDs with random pop songs on them. I also have 50 free songs on iTunes i can download for it. Give me all your favorite karaoke suggestions, please! Even and/or especially your trashy redneck ones!

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    • avatar

      Rangerchic June 6, 2014, 5:13 pm

      I think songs like Pour some sugar on me and every rose has its thorn are fun to sing! Plus any redneck like song will be fun too. When my daughter had her karaoke machine hers came with a pop song with a lot of Brittany Spears songs (this was about the time she was really popular).

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    • Lyra

      Lyra June 6, 2014, 5:36 pm

      I was just talking about this on KKZ’s forum thread. I love me some Shania Twain! Or Aretha Franklin. Respect for the win.

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    • avatar

      rachel June 6, 2014, 5:45 pm

      Ooh, if you want trashy redneck ones you should get Friends in Low Places. That’s a fun one. Classics rock always goes over well…I like doing Guns N Roses. Anything by Shania Twain.
      .
      I also like 90’s hits – Bitch by Meredith Brooks, Love Fool by the Cardigans, Torn by Natalie Imbruglia.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh June 6, 2014, 5:51 pm

        Anything by Alabama, especially Louisiana Saturday Night and Dixieland Delight!

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    • rainbow

      rainbow June 6, 2014, 7:17 pm

      ยฟMaybe some musical theater? My karaoke favorites are Les Misรฉrables, Grease, Rocky Horror Picture Show and Crybaby.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow June 7, 2014, 3:31 pm

      YAY karaoke! I have one too. I like doing Bowie (duh), REO Speedwagon, R.E.M., Talking Heads (And She Was), Boston (More Than a Feelin – hit those high notes!), American Pie, I Got You Babe, Counting Crows (Mr. Jones – my personal fav), any Killers, The Monkees, and Grease.

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  • avatar

    Rangerchic June 6, 2014, 5:07 pm

    41 years is a long time. My parents have been married 39 years this month so they’re chugging right behind!

    We leave for vacation tomorrow! We are driving to Orlando to go to Universal Studios. Me, my husband, two daughters (19 and 14) and one friend of one of my daughters (18). It will be a 17 hr or so drive but we are soooo excited!!!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray June 6, 2014, 5:14 pm

      Better stock up on Cheetos!!! I can’t imagine a road trip without Cheetos. You’ll ruin the steering wheel with Cheetos dust, but it’s worth it.

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      • avatar

        Rangerchic June 6, 2014, 5:16 pm

        Yeah, went to the store earlier today and my daughter was like “let’s get this giant bag of miscellaneous chips”! (Ya know the bag that has all the smaller variety bags which of course has Cheetos!) And I gave in…after all it is vacation and you also can’t go on vacation road trip with out vitamin M as my dad called it (Peanut M&M’s ~ Already have a huge bag!) ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • avatar

        snoopy128 June 6, 2014, 5:32 pm

        I suggest scotch mints. They are my number one road trip friend. Because you can suck on them while driving to help you concentrate. Ooooor….chew up and eat em fast for a great sugar rush when you are falling asleep.

        I would also suggest bringing fruits and veg in a small cooler. Sometimes you just need some healthy crunch ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • avatar

        Rangerchic June 6, 2014, 5:38 pm

        Never had the scotch mints…we’ll have to give them a try. And we are bringing a cooler full of other goodies and some healthy stuff…trying to save money and eat a little better since eating out is expensive and not usually as healthy. BUT we are not watching it to much…just want to have a good time! ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass June 6, 2014, 6:51 pm

        Pringles fit perfectly in my cup holder.

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  • avatar

    AKchic June 6, 2014, 5:09 pm

    I loved the beard comment. Too funny ๐Ÿ™‚

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  • Cassie

    Cassie June 6, 2014, 5:27 pm

    I’m guessing ‘Have a sense of humor’ could also be added to the list. They seem to have that one down pretty well. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  • avatar

    snoopy128 June 6, 2014, 5:34 pm

    So cute! I love you parents’ advice.

    I actually have something to share this weekend! I’m leaving work in 2.5 hours (not counting or anything) to go to this huge beer festival where you buy tokens and can sample allllll the beers from the region. Yay to stumbling home at 10pm hammered!

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    • avatar

      Rangerchic June 6, 2014, 5:41 pm

      Have a great time! This is something my husband would so looovvveee. He loves beer! We had something similar here but it was kind of expensive and we didn’t go (I think it involved more food stuff too which raised the price). Be careful stumbling home!

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      • avatar

        snoopy128 June 6, 2014, 5:59 pm

        I’m super excited. I hope they will have food trucks like last time. I’m celebrating with friends so it will be a group stumble ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • avatar

      rachel June 6, 2014, 6:05 pm

      Ooh, I love beer festivals. I’m now looking up festivals here in SD and I want to go to them all.

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  • Lyra

    Lyra June 6, 2014, 5:43 pm

    I’m headed up to Navy Guy’s apartment once my stupid headache subsides. :p I’m bringing my kitty so he can see if a cat would work in his apartment and then…we’re going to the HUMANE SOCIETY tomorrow! Nigel the 15-pound fat cat is hopefully going to become Navy Guy’s buddy. Nigel! I’m already thinking about all the stupid cutesy names I can use for him. Navy Guy’s niece (Navy Niece?) is 4 and we showed her a picture of Nigel and she wants to come up to visit to see him.
    .
    Sunday is Navy Guy’s dad’s (Navy Dad for short) birthday. Navy Dad wanted to go to the Twins game so that’s what we’re doing. And the Navy Parents are paying for all of us! Yay. I’m excited. Yay for summer!

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    • avatar

      snoopy128 June 6, 2014, 6:00 pm

      I think Nigel is the most amazing name for a 15lb cat. I hope NG can get him!

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      • Lyra

        Lyra June 6, 2014, 6:12 pm

        I agree!! Some of his Navy friends were all “find a different name, Nigel is weird” and I’m all “NIGEL IS PERFECT!” haha. I’m excited!

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      • katie

        katie June 6, 2014, 6:42 pm

        Yea I’m gonna have to remember Nigel for when I name kittens. Whenever I name them all the cute names escape my brain.

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      • rainbow

        rainbow June 6, 2014, 6:54 pm

        I want a brother and sister to name them Ennui and Fotogenia

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      • Lyra

        Lyra June 6, 2014, 9:09 pm

        There’s another cat named Floyd! I’ve always wanted to name a kitty Atticus (after Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird). Or you could name them after Harry Potter characters! Harry, Ron, Hermione, Hagrid, Luna, Parvati, Lavender, Sirius, Remus, etc.

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      • katie

        katie June 7, 2014, 6:37 pm

        Sexed two kittens today hoping for a little Nigel…. And they were both girls. So I named them after my nieces which was cool, but I’m still holding out for Nigel.

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      • katie

        katie June 7, 2014, 6:40 pm

        This is of course assuming my kitten sexing skills were on point this afternoon…

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland June 7, 2014, 6:53 pm

        Keep sexing those kittens, katie. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        I’m horrible. Veterinary school ruins people, ruins them I tell you.

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      • katie

        katie June 7, 2014, 7:20 pm

        Haha. I’m hoping I was good today, because I was like concurrently consulting a website that has good pictures. It was like look at real cat, look at pictures, look at cat, and then I checked again, haha.
        .
        The worst was a boy that came in but was so matted everyone though he was a girl. The vet even opened him up. They can be so tricky!

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    • Lyra

      Lyra June 7, 2014, 1:45 pm

      NIGEL HAS ARRIVED! Navy Guy and I now have his and hers cats!!!!!

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  • rainbow

    rainbow June 6, 2014, 6:15 pm

    I got my last supernumerary boob removed today! I got triggered during the procedure and acted out a bit (ok, a lot) so they sent me home with some vicodin instead of last time’s ibuprofen. Now I’m feeling allright, eating pizza and reading angsty romantic X-Men fanfiction about young Magneto and Professor X.

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  • lemongrass

    lemongrass June 6, 2014, 6:54 pm

    I’m feeling sick today so mr. Grass came home early from work to give me some time off. I’ve been laying on the couch watching the price is right (which E loves and is hilarious) and icing my back. I tested out my bathtub in the new house and it is amazing. It is so deep, extra long and has freaking arm rests. I didn’t realize it was an extra long tub until I got in and could extend my legs the whole way. Really happy about that!

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    • avatar

      snoopy128 June 6, 2014, 7:09 pm

      A large bathtub on is my “must have” list for when I buy my own house.

      I figure if I have enough money to buy a house, I can afford a big tub

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 9, 2014, 9:49 am

      Lemon, you didn’t even tell us you closed. You’re already in the new place?! I need details!

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass June 9, 2014, 10:07 am

        I moved 2 weeks ago! Sorry I found out I was pregnant the day after we closed so that definitely overshadowed the house! 3 beds + and office and den, 3 baths, 2 car garage and 8000 sq ft fully fenced lot. It’s a great yard! E loves it and we have fantastic neighbours. I am in love! It feels very adult to me since our last house was a small starter home where all the finishes were fairly cheap but this house has hardwood and tile and solid wood cabinets. I almost feel like a fraud in here!

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        lets_be_honest June 9, 2014, 10:15 am

        Oh crap, you found out the DAY after you closed?! That’s crazy! My mom has a line about filling rooms with babies, but I can’t remember how it goes now (which is shocking since she’s said it to me a few times since we closed last year, haha). You clearly are following the new house, new baby thing though!
        Dumb question: 8000 sq ft is how many acres about? We measure yards in acres so I have no clue how much that is. Having a great yard is so awesome. I just finally last year got a yard and I think I spend more time in it than in the house. I’m so happy for you. And I know exactly what you mean by a fraud – I feel the same way in our place now, even half a year after living there.
        ps I wanna see some pictures!!!

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass June 9, 2014, 10:31 am

        It’s 0.18 of an acre. We are still getting boxes out of our storage unit, I think it will be another month before I’m ready to take pics!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 9, 2014, 10:36 am

        Well don’t forget to share them!

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  • avatar

    Taylor June 6, 2014, 7:06 pm

    Oh man, your parents read the deleted threads?! But you any talk about them once they’re deleted, right?

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    • rainbow

      rainbow June 6, 2014, 7:18 pm

      I’m screwed. They probably think I’m an amoral whore.

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass June 6, 2014, 7:34 pm

        They probably think I’m boring lol.

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      • rainbow

        rainbow June 6, 2014, 7:45 pm

        Never <3

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  • thewriteway

    thewriteway June 6, 2014, 6:47 pm

    I am visiting family until Sunday and having an early celebration for Father’s Day plus mine and my grandfather’s birthdays! Shopping, baseball game and, of course, good food are all on my agenda. It has been a busy week, as I was in NYC on Tuesday for dinner with coworkers. I’m pretty sure my food plan is now all out of whack and I’m gonna gain weight.

    But on the bright side, not having many chances to exercise this week means I’ve healed from some pain and muscle tightness in the back of my leg.

    I’m also a couple of weeks into my social media internship and loving it. I’m starting to feel more comfortable engaging on Twitter and am getting good praise/feedback from my supervisor. Any doubts I had about interning have vanished, and the company culture is similar to where I work full-time. I’m starting to think about social media as a possible career path, but since I’m not that far in, I haven’t made any definite decisions. But I’m doing early research for sure!

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  • Lady_Red

    Red_Lady June 6, 2014, 9:13 pm

    Oh man, if the number of four-leaf clovers you find = number of kids, I’d be screwed. I think I found 3 or 4 in my front yard a few months ago. Luckily, there’s only one baby growing inside me. Multiple ultrasounds have confirmed that. I’m having a hard enough time imagining taking care of one, I can’t imagine multiples!

    Also, I absolutely LOVE the advice about having stuff in common!

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  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland June 6, 2014, 9:46 pm

    HELLO WENDY’S PARENTS. You guys sound lovely, I’m hoping on a relationship with that sense of humor and love.

    I had the best week of veterinary medicine that I can ever remember. I have gotten to do so many things, and actually learn them without being terrified I was going to make someone really angry or fail. And we eat donuts every morning and laugh pretty much constantly. And I’m totally in love with western Massachusetts! It’s full of tiny veggie and animal farms everywhere you look, I’ve never seen so many hoophouses close together. I told Benjamin that if we ever have to move I vote for this part of New England or New Zealand.

    Tomorrow I am doing semen collection on an alpaca (plus ultrasounding and baby alpaca health checks). Sunday I am going to learn how to shear alpacas, and then I have a few more days on a farm helping out with other alpaca health stuff. And the weather has been beautiful. And today is my birthday. And I castrated an alpaca all by myself. And did 2 jugular blood draws and 1 tail vein blood draw all by myself. It’s just the best! THE BEST. I don’t want to go back and have to stay in a veterinary hospital all day.

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    • lemongrass

      lemongrass June 6, 2014, 10:20 pm

      Happy birthday!

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    • katie

      katie June 7, 2014, 7:23 pm

      Whoop for the blood draws! I did 7 kittens last week, like I did all of them, the right way, 100% success rate of blood draws.

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  • avatar

    No Pants June 6, 2014, 10:07 pm

    I just found out that today is National Donut Day. It’s 10 pm and I’m too lazy to run to the 24-hour Wawa and get one, so I’ll have to eat, like, 5 glazed donuts tomorrow and grow my hips over the weekend.

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow June 7, 2014, 6:50 am

    Over-sharer that I am, I feel the need to inform DW that I just had a threesome.

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray June 7, 2014, 7:12 am

      What? Tell us about it! “Us” being all of is plus Wendy’s Parents.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow June 7, 2014, 3:24 pm

      Wait, this is the deleted thread, right?

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray June 7, 2014, 5:31 pm

        Of course. Plus I messed with the settings so no one but me and you can see – so go on, share. Reply with every detail. Go.

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      • mrmidtwenties

        mrmidtwenties June 8, 2014, 9:14 am

        details Cats, I also messed with settings to get in on this

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 8, 2014, 9:40 am

        Me and a friend, + 1 guy. Don’t worry, I was a stickler for condoms. The rest can wait for the next deleted thread!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray June 8, 2014, 6:43 pm

        And then?

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 9, 2014, 1:15 am

        your mom.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray June 9, 2014, 9:43 am

        well played, well played

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland June 9, 2014, 4:29 pm

        ZOMG deleted thread now, must know.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 9, 2014, 4:59 pm

        Alice! I thought of you this weekend. Went to a little breakfast place on a trip and we’ve been there a few times now and love it. Anyway, they sell local art and we talked about getting something and Peter wanted the goat painting ๐Ÿ™‚

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  • sobriquet

    sobriquet June 7, 2014, 6:22 pm

    So, ever since Nigel and I got married (all of 3 weeks ago) we’ve committed to going out and doing something unique every Saturday (date night, basically) and so far we’re at 100%. I’ve also decided to be more frugal and take advantage of all the wonderful things Austin has to offer over the summer, so tonight we’re taking some mini wine bottles, some snacks and a big blanket out to an outdoor amphitheater to watch a free show. I love free shows!

    Tomorrow we’re either going tubing down in New Braunfels with 4 of our friends, or if that falls through, we’re going to the farmer’s market in the morning and then out to brunch, followed by a body of water of sorts. So it should be a good weekend no matter what!

    On Tuesday Nigel’s cousin (and best friend) is flying to Austin to LIVE here and work for the business. I have all sorts of mixed feelings about it. I’m really excited that he’s coming down here, but he’ll be staying in BIL & SIL’s spare bedroom and therefore living with them for awhile. Things are all sorts of bad with SIL right now, so I’m dreading any awkward interactions. Excitement + dread is a weird mixture of emotions to feel at once. Anyway, maybe I’ll take it to the forums next week- I’m really trying to move past these feelings of anxiety and accept this rotten situation with my SIL, but right now I just have to deal with them.

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  • avatar

    Dietcokeaddict June 8, 2014, 9:42 pm

    Your mom is funny Wendy!!

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  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl June 9, 2014, 8:24 am

    Gah Wendy your parents are hysterical!
    .
    I’m so so tired. We went back home for my brothers graduation this weekend (which is a 3 day event) and then chaperoned a kegger for the grads. It was a very long evening of key collecting, music volume monitoring, refilling toilet paper in the port-o-pot, supplying water and pretzels to soak up the booze. I think I got 3 hours of sleep. Then yesterday I spent 13 hours trying to get home, and my bag got lost somewhere along the way. So now I’m wearing GGuys old glasses with the wrong-ish prescription (since my eyes are too swollen for contacts) and attempting to catch up from 2 days off. I want a nap!

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  • avatar

    MsMisery June 9, 2014, 1:20 pm

    HI MOM AND DAD!!!

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  • Classic

    Classic June 9, 2014, 11:43 pm

    Haha Wendy’s Mom should have her own show, so funny. I love this photo with the big smiles on Jackson and his grandma.

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  • fast eddie

    fast eddie June 10, 2014, 5:22 pm

    WOW 41 years together and raised two wonderful girls. It makes me wish I’d started earlier but then there’s the present 27+ years together and more to come. Life is good but it takes effort to keep it that way. Easy to do when your in love.

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