Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

I heard this song, “Sing to Me,” on NPR’s “All Songs Considered” the other day and I’ve already played it like 79 times. I like everything about it, including the title which makes me think of Jackson because every night, as he goes to bed, he says, “Sing to me?” Last night I tried to sing this song, but he wasn’t crazy about it and said, “No, sing ‘Night Night, Kiss me,'” so I acquiesced and sang his favorite, “Dream a Little Dream” for him. Sometimes I stop singing after a verse or two just so I can hear him say in his sleepy little voice, “Stars shining, next. Stars shining.” (My heart will break a little when he stops saying that, and when he stops requesting a bedtime song altogether).

Next month, Drew and I celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary, but, if we weren’t already married and if we were having a wedding instead of just celebrating an anniversary, I’d play “Sing to Me” for our first dance. It’s so sweet. My favorite part starts at 1:43 where Karen O sings: “I like all of you/ I’d like to roll up in a ball of you/ I’d like to breach the castle wall of you/ and sing the concert in the hall of you.” Romance! And then there’s yodeling! Perfect wedding song, if you ask me. It’s from a brand new album from The Walkmen’s Walter Martin called “We’re All Young Together,” a “playful collection of family-friendly folk songs” featuring singers from various indie bands. It’d make a lovely gift for a new baby.

Anyway, happy Friday, and Happy Father’s Day this weekend to all you dads, especially my own father and my favorite baby daddy, Drew. Tomorrow, we’re doing our usual Saturday morning routine (a 3-5 mile jog — depending on how energetic I’m feeling — for me + the farmers’ market + meeting the guys at the playground afterward), then a birthday picnic for a friend of mine in the park in the afternoon. In the evening, I’m babysitting one of Jackson’s friends (as part of our sitting swap), and we’re spending Sunday with Drew’s family at his dad’s place in Manhattan, hopefully on his building’s rooftop deck if the weather is nice. I also have to finish planting our terrace garden (I have a few pots still to fill).

Also: prosecco. Of course.

44 comments… add one
  • sobriquet

    sobriquet June 13, 2014, 4:46 pm

    Aww, I can’t wait to sing to my future children. I’ve even written a few lullabies over the years. It’s funny- I was actually randomly singing one of them in the shower this morning. I originally wrote it a few years ago when I was toying with the idea of writing and selling country music, so the song has some twang to it, but this morning in the shower I was playing around with different styles. My showers take forever whenever I start singing.
    .
    I have a pretty busy weekend planned- which I suspect will be the case for the majority of the summer. Tonight I’m going out with my husband, which will be nice because we haven’t had much 1-on-1 time this week. His cousin moved to Austin on Tuesday and we hung out with him (and my brother-in-law) the last 3 nights in a row. Luckily, sister-in-law has a new job waiting tables at a sports bar and works almost every evening/night, so she hasn’t been a factor in this new set-up, yet. Anyway, tonight should be nice. We plan to get some mexi-tini’s at Trudy’s. I’m really looking forward to it.
    .
    Tomorrow morning we’re going out of town (a 2 hour drive there and back) for a post-wedding luncheon hosted by my dad. There will be a ton of people there and it will be a long day, but it will be nice to see my extended family. Then on Sunday we’re getting up and going tubing down in New Braunfels with some friends and then watching the Spurs potentially grab the title!

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 13, 2014, 4:55 pm

      We need an update on the SIL!

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  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl June 13, 2014, 4:55 pm

    Wendy, the photo’s you posted of your terrace make me swoon. It looks amazing!!
    .
    We’re not doing anything this weekend. I might hit up a book store and the natural vitamin shop, but other wise we’re laying low. 6 weeks of travel has exhausted us both and we just want to snuggle at home.

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  • lemongrass

    lemongrass June 13, 2014, 5:07 pm

    I felt so awkward singing to E at first but I love it now and he loves it too. I can’t wait until he sings with me.
    On sat we are putting up the last of our baby proofing- locks on the bathroom cabinets. My bathroom and bedroom are covered in tampons because E was playing pick-up sticks with them. I let him while I laid on my bed since I was really tired. Then I’m baking Mr. Grass a cake. I think we’ll go the beach and have a weenie roast for Father’s Day. We did it last year and we both loved it. I got Mr. Grass a mug with a pic of E on it and the caption “World’s Okayest Dad” that I plan to fill with candy.

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  • theattack

    theattack June 13, 2014, 7:07 pm

    Wendy, you have to have Drew get a secret video of you singing to Jackson and him singing back to you. That is the sweetest! (And then of course, you have to post it to DW because we’re all obsessed with Jackson)
    .
    I have a weekend to myself, and I haven’t even thought of what to do with it yet. I might read by the pool and do some LSAT studying, but I don’t know what else. Any cool suggestions of things to do alone for this rare opportunity?

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    • avatar

      McLovin June 13, 2014, 10:19 pm

      1. eat Chinese food out of the box. Repeat as necessary.
      2. put Luke Bryan on repeat and get ready for a GREAT show when he comes to your town.
      3. help me finish my position paper on technology within Health Care. I’m stuck on the same shit that I always talk about.
      4. smoke a bowl and call a friend you haven’t talked to for years and remember why you don’t talk much anymore because people come and go in your life.
      5. dunk 8 oreos in milk and count how many bubbles it takes to create your perfect cookie.
      6. ask 10 people to donate clothing to your favorite charity.
      7. offer to babysit for a couple with young kids that you know could really use a night out.
      8. listen to Luke Bryan again.
      9. find the nearest Sonic and try the brownie milkshake and see if it doesn’t change your world entirely.
      10. call someone that you love and tell them that you love them.
      11. change the oil in your car, finally.
      12. give yourself the best orgasm you’ve ever had by yourself and tell your spouse that he gets to watch a repeat if he does the dishes when he gets home.
      13. pick a spot in the world that you want to see and then figure out a way to get there within the next year.
      14. go through your closet and figure out what you don’t wear anymore and give it to charity.
      15. re watch season 4 of That 70’s Show.

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  • Lyra

    Lyra June 13, 2014, 8:12 pm

    I had such a tough week. My dog died on Wednesday and I haven’t cried that much since…well, since my last dog died. I haven’t been 100% myself since then, but I’m doing better than I was on Wednesday. Navy Guy has been so great through this all. He’s such a sweet guy. Like he gets it. He gets me. That feels so good.
    .
    It will be a low key weekend for me. I hope to hang out with friends, and I will probably go to my parents’ house to celebrate Father’s Day. Tonight I will read Harry Potter on my deck while drinking wine. I need to get a run or two in this weekend. And next week I start with my marching band so I’m excited for that.

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    • avatar

      TECH June 13, 2014, 9:31 pm

      All dogs go to heaven. I really do believe that.

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    • theattack

      theattack June 13, 2014, 9:41 pm

      I’m so sorry about your dog, Lyra. 🙁 It’s so hard to lose a family member – especially one who’s been nothing but loving, fun, and loyal to you. Dogs truly love us unconditionally. I’m thinking about you.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra June 13, 2014, 9:56 pm

        That’s so true. Her and I had a special dog/human love. 🙂 We bonded immediately when we got her when I was in middle school. She was never happy whenever I moved out for college and she always jumped up into the van whenever she found a spot that was just her size and she would lay down as if she wanted to come with me. Even when she couldn’t move around that well in the past few months my mom said when I was walking around the yard my dog would basically watch me to see where I was. And she truly was the best dog. Loyal to a fault, sweet as can be, and she loved us so much. 80 pounds of nothing but love. The UPS delivery guys would come out and they would often ask us if they had to worry about the big black dog in the yard. We would just laugh because she seriously loved everybody and was friendly to all people. I cried so much on Wednesday. When I got to my parents’ house in the morning, I went over to where she was sitting and just sat down, hugged her, and sobbed. She just put her head on my lap as if to say “I’m here”. I’ll never know how she knew when I needed her most, but she did. My dad took her to the vet mid afternoon so I got to spend her last hours with her. Annnnd I started crying just writing that. Dang.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 13, 2014, 10:01 pm

        Well I started crying reading that, so obviously you should be crying lots right now. It sounds like you loved each other a lot. I’m glad you got to spend her last hours with her. It doesn’t make it easier, but it’s something.
        .
        <3

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      • Lyra

        Lyra June 13, 2014, 10:36 pm

        Yeah me too. My dad didn’t want me to take off work for it, but I shut him down because I wouldn’t have done ANY good at work that day. And seriously, Navy Guy is so freaking amazing. He lives an hour away from me, so he drove down, drove me to my parents another 50 minutes away, and drove all the way back in the same day. Not to mention he saw me ugly cry no fewer than 15 times but he didn’t care. I think in a fit of sobs I told him “I won’t be pretty at all today” and he told me that didn’t matter to him at all, he just wanted me to be ok.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra June 13, 2014, 10:39 pm

        Prior to our last dog, I think I asked my dad every day for a year if we could get another dog. It was a daily occurrence and I’m sure I was a super obnoxious 13 year old. It was hard for me to wait so long, but I think we were meant to wait so long so we could have her as our dog. She was literally a PERFECT fit for our family and what we were looking for. Dad was super sneaky…he went to see her at the Humane Society by himself without even telling my mom. I understand not telling me because he didn’t want to get my hopes up, but Mom was surprised too haha. I hope they get another dog sometime.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 13, 2014, 11:03 pm

        Navy Guy sounds like a real keeper. It’s awesome that he understands what you’re going through. Not everyone “gets” being heartbroken over losing a pet.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra June 13, 2014, 11:16 pm

        The coolest thing is that he’s actually never lost a pet before but he still gets it. He’s not as big into animals as I am, but he makes a huge effort to understand it. I did forewarn him when we found out that my dog wasn’t doing very well that I would probably be at my worst when I lost her and sure enough I was. Yet he did everything that I needed him to. He’s not huge into dogs overall, but he really liked my dog. We agreed that should this become a forever train thing we would get a dog like her…because for me it’s not an option to not have a dog at some point. 🙂

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  • theattack

    theattack June 13, 2014, 9:48 pm

    Why aren’t there more comments on this? Where is everyone? Someone entertain me!

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow June 14, 2014, 1:01 am

      If you wanna hear about my crazy day, go to the Drunk DW 2.0 forum. I don’t feel like typing it out again, haha. (Not that it’s entertaining. But it’s something?)

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow June 14, 2014, 12:56 am

    LOVE THE WALKMEN. Listening to this album now. Thanks, Wendy!

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  • kare

    kare June 14, 2014, 3:08 am

    My plans for the weekend were to go to this awesome club and have my own suite at a fancy hotel with my friends and boyfriend for my birthday. This was my boyfriend’s idea and he offered to pay for it. Today I went to happy hour with my coworkers and we decided to extend it to an all night thing. (I wasn’t drinking though since I will probably drink tomorrow.) So he got pissed off I went out when he told me he didn’t think it was a good idea, cancelled all the reservations, and may have broken up with me over text message. He has never been so controlling before, so I’m really thrown for a loop. Happy birthday to me?

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    • LadyinPurpleNotRed

      LadyinPurpleNotRed June 14, 2014, 9:01 am

      Whoa…what? That’s crazy!! I’m so sorry

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle June 14, 2014, 9:56 am

      Aw kare, that’s so nutty (also….wtf??)
      .
      Hopefully the friends of yours that were supposed to come will still want to go out somewhere else? Wishing you a fun birthday despite all the shit 🙁

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    • Lyra

      Lyra June 14, 2014, 10:32 am

      Oh wowza. Sorry kare. 🙁 That sounds so horrible. At least he’s showing you his true colors. I hope you can sort it all out and find some clarity in all the crap. I know it’s not easy. Personally even a one-time incident like that would be a deal breaker for me. Good luck as you sort through everything.

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  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland June 14, 2014, 10:46 am

    I’m back from 2 weeks near the East Coast! And it was really awesome and wonderful and fun but also I just missed my people (okay, Benjamin) and the animals so much. I think I’m really a homebody and could never do a job where I traveled a lot. I just like the feeling of being settled, even if I could handle being elsewhere and constantly meeting new people/seeing new things I don’t really *want* to. I want to stay on our pretty little farm and have a cute tiny little family full of animals and maybe little people and just enjoy what we have where we are. So that was a good realization for me.

    I got to pick up hay bales with Benjamin yesterday, and today I am reviewing some stuff for my next rotation where I get to give puppies and kittens vaccinations. I may be going to my friend’s sister’s (also my sister’s friend’s) birthday party tonight if I’m not totally exhausted. And then working the farmer’s market tomorrow and father’s day lunch or dinner?

    Right now I’m in a coffee shop drinking an iced coffee sweetened with maple syrup and it’s amazing. And I don’t want to study, all I want to do is read Gone Girl because I’m almost done and totally got sucked into it. And I hate road tripping but I love reuniting. 🙂 The end.

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  • Lyra

    Lyra June 14, 2014, 11:01 am

    Yay! Glad you’re home safely. 🙂 I totally feel you on the homebody thing.

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  • othy

    othy June 15, 2014, 1:32 am

    I’ve been crazy busy the last two days, and I’m so glad I have nothing to do tomorrow. We played poker/drank last night. I had 2 long islands, which pretty much did me in (even still, I took second).
    .
    After going to bed a 2 am, I got up crazy early to go running before it got hot. I was planning on doing 12 miles. I somehow managed to go 13.5 (damn places that don’t have sidewalks!). Hung over. With less than 6 hours of sleep. Because I’m crazy.
    .
    Once I got home, I had an hour to get cleaned up, Then my in-laws came over for a father’s day BBQ. And Othello was still super hungover, so he wasn’t much help in prepping everything. The BBQ was awesome. We made tacos, grilled veggies, salad, and tarts. But then my niece wanted me to play tag with her. For an hour. While I was still slightly hungover and exhausted for my run.
    .
    As soon as we kicked everyone out and finished cleaning up, we went over to a friend’s house who was doing another party involved a drinking game (a super nerdy one at that). So now I’m hammered two nights in a row (I haven’t done that in years), exhausted, and looking forward to passing out tonight. But, it was an awesome weekend.

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  • avatar

    Painted_lady June 15, 2014, 1:55 pm

    Ugh, y’all. Worst Father’s Day ever. So I know a lot of you know I have a pretty fucked up relationship with my dad – he’s kind of awful to my mom, he was either abusive or absent (at work – weekends, holidays, family vacations, he worked, though he works in warehouse operations, not, like as an ER doctor) for most of my life, but he made this turnaround with me the last few years and has been a really supportive figure for the most part…but again, this is recent, so I don’t really trust it.
    *
    Anyway, Wednesday night, Walter and I got officially engaged. And not that this is ever going to be the crowning achievement of my life, but it is a big deal. A couple of family members met us after for champagne at a bar, and Walter and I talked about when we were going to call my dad. Part of how my dad’s obsession with work plays out is that he goes to bed at like 7pm so he can get up at 3 am so he can go be at work from 4 or so till 6 pm. Seriously. So we knew he was in bed and decided we’d call him together when Walter got off work the next afternoon. Between that night and the next afternoon, we found out….my dad knew. My mom had called him to see if he wanted to meet us for champagne, but he was already in bed. And he didn’t call the next day, never asked my mom about it, nothing, just really didn’t give a shit.
    *
    I know my getting engaged isn’t the biggest thing ever, not for everyone, and I don’t expect it to be. But a phone call, asking my mom to let him know how it had gone, I didn’t need him to even show up…but he forgot all about it the next day because apparently there’s work drama, as I found out on his voicemail where he called to apologize. And if so many of the major events in my life weren’t replaced with apologies instead of him actually taking part in my life, maybe this wouldn’t seem so bad. If it weren’t a lifetime of having to be asleep by 7 for work, then I could probably forgive this. And another voicemail he left (I quit listening to them) was an angry one. He’s angry at me because I won’t let him apologize and have done. Which, you know, would make him feel better.
    *
    I’m not doing Father’s Day this year. I’ve asked my mom and my brother to give me space with regards to talking to or about him. I don’t know when I’ll want to talk to him again, but I’m not deciding right now. I’m too hurt and angry to make a good decision. I should probably call my therapist and make an appointment. I’m staying off Facebook because seeing all these “Happy Father’s Day, Dad! You were there for every blah blah and loved taking me to blah blah and you’ve been there whenever I needed you!” posts make me want to hit something, and I’m trying not to be bitter about it. But today sucks a lot.

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    • LlamaPajamas

      LlamaPajamas June 16, 2014, 10:21 am

      I’m sorry you had such a shitty day, PL. My Father’s Day was pretty rough, too (although for different reasons), and I hope you got through the day with minimal frustrations and drama. I’m so excited for your engagement and I hope you had a wonderful champagne celebration with your family!

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  • Lyra

    Lyra June 15, 2014, 5:27 pm

    This Father’s Day weekend has been a win — I found the perfect card that made my dad cry AND I found a Groupon for a custom canvas. I ordered a really adorable picture of my dad and our family’s dog. And the Groupon was only like $25 for a 16×20! Woot.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest June 15, 2014, 5:40 pm

    I’m pregnant with a food baby. And about to go to my third Father’s Day meal. Anyway, happy dad’s day Drew, diablo, desidad, tax geek, Mr Atterberry and any other Dw dads I’m forgetting.
    I tried to go all out for Peter who, in typical fashion, one upped me and got me a fathers day gift and card that said “for all the years you were Dad…” Very sweet. Reminded me of calls I used to get today before Peter came along.
    Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend!

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow June 15, 2014, 9:39 pm

      Speaking of food babies, I took a pic of my giant belly – pushing it out, making it round and plump – and sent it to my ex in a text that said “happy Father’s Day!”
      .
      I AM HILARIOUS.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 15, 2014, 9:42 pm

        And we had sex in… March? So it would make sense. Oh and also we are friends and texting happens semi-regularly, SO DON’T THINK I’M EVIL. His response was “LOLz Oh booo…”

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      snarkymarc June 15, 2014, 11:09 pm

      LBH: I’m so hurt!!! Diablo’s not even a dad and you remembered him but not me! I’ve even told you stories about my daughter’s reading habits. I know I haven’t been posting much lately, but didn’t think you’d forget about me that quickly 🙁 But I had a great Father’s day, so I can’t complain.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 16, 2014, 9:32 am

        I KNEW I was forgetting one of my favorite DW Dads! Dammit. All my love snarky! Glad you had a great day!
        Here is a funny parenting story to redeem myself: I heard a mom-to-be say she won’t need a highchair because “it will just clutter the place, so she’ll just hold the baby any time it needs to eat.”

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass June 16, 2014, 9:53 am

        Hahahahaha. Thank you for that. I hope she gets an eater like E, who everyone I know says they’ve never seen a baby shovel food in like he did, double handedly sweeping food into his face.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 16, 2014, 9:59 am

        Oh lemon, not her baby. Her baby will eat like a delicate flower. Only weird babies make messes with food. haha. I wish you had heard all her other comments. I just sat there smiling and trying to not roll my eyes.

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass June 16, 2014, 10:20 am

        You know, I can’t even get irritated when people make comments like that, it’s just too funny knowing what is coming to them!

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  • avatar

    Ella_ June 15, 2014, 5:51 pm

    My boyfriend and I put down a deposit on an amazing apartment this weekend! Right across the street from the largest park in our city, and the bedroom and office have walls of windows which face the park. It also has a fireplace, washer and dryer, and a dishwasher!!! I haven’t had a dishwasher since I moved out of my parents’ house ten years ago! Hopefully they check our references quickly because I want to sign this lease!

    Also, I am not getting very much work done lately because of the World Cup, but I’m okay with that (for now). Most of the games have been really exciting so far!

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow June 15, 2014, 9:40 pm

    I’m drunk but I have to do homework. Mehhhhh. I blame my dad. He told me super short notice that he was coming to town, so we went out to eat and then I took him to my favorite bar. I mean, Father’s Day? You gotta drink to that shit, right??

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