Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

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First, welcome to any new readers who found this site through my HuffPo posts. You can read about me and the Dear Wendy site here. And you can read archives here. And if you have a relationship question I can help answer, you can email me at wendy@dearwendy.com.

Anyway, Jackson and I went to a farm upstate today with some friends of ours and we just got home and I’m beat. Jackson is so tired he slept for an hour in the car and he continued sleeping as I carried him up the stairs to our apartment and put him to bed. It’s been a half hour since we got home and he’s still asleep. I should probably wake him up or he’ll stay awake all night, but the peace and quiet is so nice and I just want to sit here in our dark, air conditioned living room in silence for just a few more minutes.

Tomorrow I think we’re going to take him to Coney Island, and on Sunday we’re renting a car and driving to the ‘burbs to attend a bris for our friends’ new baby. They just moved up there a couple weeks ago and their older son is Jackson’s best pal and Jackson’s been asking about him every day and asking when he’s moving back and it’s so sweet and so … sort of sad that it just breaks my heart every time. I was putting him to bed the other evening and, as I kissed him goodnight, he yawned and said, “Maybe JJ will move back soon…”

Sunrise, sunset, and all of that.

Today would be my Grandpa Jack’s 91st birthday. I’ve been remembering his 90th birthday party last year β€” the last time I saw him (he died a few weeks later) β€” and missing him today. So, in his honor, I’m going to eat a bunch of ice cream tonight because he loved ice cream and he’d want me to eat a lot of it on his birthday while I remembered him, so that’s what I’m gonna do.

What about you? What are you up to this weekend?

52 comments… add one
  • Amanda

    Amanda August 8, 2014, 4:41 pm

    It’s supposed to be nice, so I’m planning on cracking open my book and enjoying some wine on my patio.

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 5:37 pm

    That’s a very sweet picture. I love that toddler’s skinny capris.

    My friend and her son who were staying with me left today. With them here, plus a MUCH busier than normal work week, PLUS a deleted thread yesterday I tried my damnedest to keep up with (I saw it this morning around 6:00 am when I went into the office – EEK! – and there were just over 600 comments but I haven’t had a chance to read yet), I’m beat. I’m leaving the office in 15 minutes for a facial and then I’m biking biking biking as fast as I can up to Lakeview to meet two friends for an early dinner (byob sushi) and then I’m biking home to Moose and hopefully in bed by 9 – I’m. So. Tired.
    *
    In other exciting news, I rearranged my living room furniture and I love it. But now I really want a new console thing for my TV so I think this weekend I may go furniture shopping.
    *
    Then, on Sunday, 4 of my 12 immediate family members arrive… and in one short week the rest arrive and then it’s PRAY FAMILY VACAY!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 5:41 pm

      604 – that’s the number of comments I last saw on the deleted thread. think any more comments were left before it went bye bye? am i even allowed to be referring to the deleted thread even though i’m not substantively talking about what was said? i feel naughty doing so.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster August 8, 2014, 5:44 pm

        I stopped reading when it was somewhere around 550! I am having a sad that I missed more comments.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 6:37 pm

        I can email it to you bc I copied it – mwahahaha

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      • avatar

        CeeSea August 8, 2014, 7:11 pm

        When/where was the deleted thread? I completely missed it!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy August 9, 2014, 8:23 am

        It was on Thursday. You missed a good one!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 5:48 pm

      really though, how can i rock skinny capri pants like her?

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy August 8, 2014, 6:44 pm

        Cut a pair of old jeans a few inches below the knee and roll them up a couple times. Boom.

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  • JK

    JK August 8, 2014, 5:48 pm

    Little kids friendshps are so adorable!

    I dont have many plans for the weekend yet, tomorrow I am going to a workshop a friend talked me into, To learn sublimation technique printing. I am sooo not crafty, but I think it might be straightforward enough I might not suck! And we do 3 projects to bring home with us, so that will come in handy for the new house!

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    • JK

      JK August 9, 2014, 4:34 pm

      So the workshop was awesome. I highly recommend the technique to anyone who, like me, likes the idea of crafts but sucks at them πŸ™‚

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh August 8, 2014, 5:51 pm

    Happy Hour! Then apparently enjoying a few inches of rain this weekend. Last weekend I baked and cooked for the week, so maybe the rain will inspire me to do the same this weekend. Otherwise I’ll be on the couch reading my books!

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny August 8, 2014, 7:16 pm

      I think I will do some sitting and reading too. Maybe on the couch, maybe on the bench outside!

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny August 8, 2014, 6:17 pm

    My 2-year old nephew is coming over tomorrow!! Along with my sis and bro-in-law in tow of course. I’m excited!! I plan to get some sewing done this weekend as well to get some of these projects finished.

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  • TaraMonster

    TaraMonster August 8, 2014, 5:23 pm

    Granpa Jack and Mio, my grandmother who recently passed, had the love of ice cream in common. She always had a bowl of Neapolitan for you (and herself!) after dinner. πŸ™‚
    .
    My roommate got tickets to Shakespeare in the Park so we’re going to see King Lear tonight. Last week we saw a Queens based production of Cymbelline that was kinda bad, but fun because we had wine and homemade hummus. Tonight we’re going to the real deal (and there will still be wine!). Wooohooo!

    Tomorrow I get to hang out with my friend who was in Zambia with the Peace Corps for two years. I saw him last week for a few hours, but it was at a family party so we didn’t get to properly catch up. We will drink and talk, and do a little writing workshop and probably smoke too many cigarettes just like old times. I can’t wait!

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  • TaraMonster

    TaraMonster August 8, 2014, 5:42 pm

    Oh I forgot to be nosy in my first comment! Since I grew up in the lower Hudson Valley, I have to know these things- what farm did you go to, Wendy?

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 5:46 pm

      So, NYC, is it all “city” for miles and miles? How far out do you have to go before it becomes country or small town (you know, like, where lightning bugs exist and where you can hear crickets and shit and where the night sky is dark)? Like a million miles? In Chi you don’t have to go too far.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster August 8, 2014, 6:19 pm

        Well ALL of NYC is “city” (though far out parts of BK and Queens are suburban, and a lot of Staten Island is suburban and beachy). But what I think you’re getting at is how far from Manhattan do you have to go to get to a place where you can sit out on someone’s back porch and not hear a car? The answer is not far at all. A 45 minute train ride will put you in a number of cute, small towns, which are somewhere between suburban and country (this is sort of where I grew up). If you go another hour north, you will be in a more country-ish area, but with plenty of suburban areas. The farthest you can go using Metro North RR is Poughkeepsie, which is a small city about 70 miles north of NYC. It’s about a 2 hour train ride. Poughkeepsie is technically part of the downstate area, but literally everyone in NYC refers to it colloquially as upstate. If you can get there on Metro North, it’s not technically upstate. NY goes up for another 9 hours or so!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 6:32 pm

        And are those suburban/country towns just 45 min on the train affordable or is everything deathly expensive even in the area outside NYC? So you could be a normal person with a normal job and have a house and a yard and a garage and shit AND work in Manhattan AND only have a 45-minute commute? Why did I feel like that was impossible.

        I don’t know why I’m fixated on this. And I don’t know why but you’re my go to person for these questions ha.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 6:33 pm

        Also keep talking to me bc I’m at the spa place but through a schedule snafu I gotta wait 30 minutes (quel horreur)

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 6:39 pm

        Good news for all following and worrying about my big problem du jour, the nice lady at the front desk comped me a free eyebrow wax – even without me (or maybe bc of) throwing a fit! And the weekend is off to a nice start.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 6:40 pm

        I mean bc I didn’t. Oh you get it. “You” being YOU – and I can’t believe YOU are still reading my “I’m bored waiting for my facial” ramblings.

        Also someone tell me more about NYC commuting and traffic and affordability of suburbs and all that jazz.

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      • JK

        JK August 8, 2014, 6:50 pm

        Maybe she was trying to say something about the state of your eyebrows? πŸ˜›

        Because mine of course are perfectly groomed hahaha

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 10:52 pm

        Too bad I was t naked. Maybe I could of gotten a free Brazilian.

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      • avatar

        scattol August 8, 2014, 6:50 pm

        Well if you want to be near the Hudson it’s not cheap. Now I was there a loooong time ago but I can’t see that this would have changed. Westchester County is pretty homy with 1 acre lots with trees and stuff but also very expensive. Keep in mind that it’s good enough for the Clinton’s so it’s no dump. Putnam county is more affoardable but a good 1h+ ride into the city.

        People commute daily with Metro North and I understand that this train commute can easily be 1h. It’s doable but my hunch is that if you want nice land, nice house and short commute you want to be made partner first.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster August 8, 2014, 6:49 pm

        The short answer is yes it is expensive to live the life you describe, but there are ways to make it affordable. Though I grew up here so affordable to me would probably make a lot of people balk. That’s not because I make a tremendous amount of money, but because I am desensitized to the cost of living here. Also, the 45 minute train ride would not be the entire commute. Driving to the station and then taking the subway to an office tacks on probably another half hour to most commutes. That’s why I live in the city! Well, that and I love it in the city. NYC is my <3.

        I don't know how to sum this up without droning on and on, so I'm gonna leave it there.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster August 8, 2014, 6:32 pm

        Blah. I forgot to specify that those areas are Westchester, Putnam, and Dutchess counties and they are north of the city. But there are plenty of other places surrounding NYC to see fireflies with a 45 minute ride on public transit! East on LIRR takes you to Long Island. West on NJT takes you to NJ. Northeast on the New Have Line takes you to CT.

        TL;DR: About 45 mins any any direction on a rail road and you will get fireflies and stargazing. πŸ™‚

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      • avatar

        scattol August 8, 2014, 7:24 pm

        Well, you can see stars in the city, but real stargazing at 45min from Manhattan? You will see all the details of the milky way. See this list shows pretty much only red for 60 miles around Manhattan http://cleardarksky.com/cgi-bin/find_chart.py?Mn=focuser&type=wmap&radius=60&unit=1&disp=text&title=Charts+within+60mi+of+New+York+City&olat=40.714&olong=-74.006
        .
        Red is usable but really if you are going to travel, you want at least orange.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy August 8, 2014, 6:33 pm

      We went to Stone Barns near Tarrytown. We drove there (my friend has a car) and in morning traffic (even past 9:30) it took hours to get there!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 6:36 pm

        Even in reverse commute traffic? Dang.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster August 8, 2014, 6:53 pm

        It took hours?! HOW?! What roads did you take? Tarrytown is so close! I love Tarrytown btw. Such a cute town.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy August 8, 2014, 6:58 pm

        Traffic was bumper to bumper and barely budged. It sucked.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest August 8, 2014, 7:04 pm

      Glad you’re nosy! I was wondering too. Funny to see places near where I live discussed on DW!

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 6:45 pm

    So deep thought: I decided I don’t like walls painted blue. Blue walls never seem to just blend with the room. Instead it’s like they’re screaming “oh hey look at me I’m painted blue!” Plus blue rooms feel cold. I don’t want to cuddle in a blue room, you know? (I mean, notwithstanding the fact that I’d take cuddles anywhere I can get them). Ok discuss!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 6:46 pm

      I’m. So. Bored. Waiting. It’s been 32 minutes now. Maybe I’ll go potty just to mix it up. Or I could read a magazine.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 6:47 pm

        Update: I decided not to go potty and instead kill time by killing you with my boring deep thoughts.

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    • JK

      JK August 8, 2014, 6:52 pm

      depends on the shade of blue. I LOVE walls painted deep blue with white frame thingies (what are the called?). Andit is possible to find warmish shades of blue.

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    • gigi

      gigi August 8, 2014, 8:18 pm

      My bedroom is blue, a warm sagey almost – green blue, I love it!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 10:53 pm

        Post a pic! I have a blue room too. It’s like aqua – almost teal… It’s ok but

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  • avatar

    Jane63 August 8, 2014, 6:48 pm

    I have my 10 y o grand daughter this weekend. Love, love spending time with her. Shopping tomorrow for school supplies. She is starting middle school in a week. Time sure does fly!

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  • Lyra

    Lyra August 8, 2014, 7:18 pm

    I’ve seen literally like 5 sonograms on Facebook today, including one with a big arrow pointing towards the baby’s crotch with an “IT’S A BOY!!!” across the top. I mean, yay, glad you’re preggers, but when did sonograms on social media become the regular baby announcement??? And I feel like everyone my age is having babies. I’m in no rush to have babies, but it’s kind of like “whoa, we’re still too young to procreate!” haha.

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    • Pamplemousse Rose

      Pamplemousse Rose August 8, 2014, 7:38 pm

      I actually refused (and refused to let my husband) post my ultrasound pics on Facebook. I didn’t really want pictures of my uterus out there for everyone to see!

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      • Lyra

        Lyra August 9, 2014, 12:54 pm

        Exactly! It’s so weird to me. I mean I get that as a late 20-something I’m prime age for the babies to start coming with a vengeance but I’ve seen so many uteruses on social media! Haha. A friend yesterday also texted me “check Facebook!” while I was finishing up work yesterday when I didn’t have the time. I responded “I can’t right now, what’s up?” and she said “you’ll see!” I check it when I get home and SHE’S the one who is pregnant and posted a sonogram. OK….you can’t tell me directly when you text me that you’re pregnant??? It was so bizarre. Not to mention apparently the baby was conceived when her and her husband were on a trip to Europe. She posted “We brought home someone special from our trip to Europe!!” with the sonogram pics. Whaaat??

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      jlyfsh August 9, 2014, 6:01 pm

      I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I love that we can do this now. I have so many friends who live states or countries away. Sometimes this is the only way to share a large part of their lives with other people. And sure I guess they could attach pictures to an email, but it’s just so much easier this way.

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  • avatar

    lindsaybob August 9, 2014, 4:07 am

    We were going to go camping this weekend, but called it off because the weather is supposed to be horrible tomorrow. I think we’re going to have a picnic in the park today and then lunch at my in laws tomorrow. They’re going to babysit our 11 month old son tomorrow afternoon so my husband I can go see How to Train Your Dragon 2.

    Really I’d just like to sleep and read all weekend, but babies don’t let you do that. I love my son but I miss relaxing…

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy August 9, 2014, 7:06 am

      I miss relaxing too. And I’ve been really tired this week (not pregnant, just PMS). Last night I actually went to bed before Jackson at 7:30 (!!!) and I slept until he woke us up at 6 this morning. My body just needed to catch up on some zzzz’s, I guess. I think I probably could have slept all day! That’s the hardest part about having young kids β€” you just never get enough sleep.

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      • avatar

        lindsaybob August 9, 2014, 9:22 am

        Yeah, the idea of getting enough sleep just feels so far off at the moment. Going to sleep at 7:30 one night sounds great, but if i did it once I’d probably start wanting to do it every night!

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray August 9, 2014, 9:14 am

    I’m here to procrastinate and give you a (boring) update on what’s been going on with AP since… since yesterday. I had sushi, I biked home, I played fetch with Moose in the hallway (which, confession: it’s something I do ALL THE TIME and then if a neighbor comes out I pretend like “oh my dog got away from me, we weren’t really sitting here playing fetch” – I mean I don’t SAY that but I ACT like it – whatever, everyone here loves Moose except for this beast of a dog named Musafa who pounced on Moose ounce and now Moose is afraid of big dogs.
    *
    Right now I’m picking up b/c the cleaning lady is coming any minute. She usually comes on Wednesdays for everyone (no one) wondering but today she’s coming today. She’s awesome. One time she left me a dish of food from her native land and it was delicious.
    *
    Speaking of food, so, I’ve been making my dog walker sandwiches every day – in part b/c I want her to stay and chill out with Moose and also in part b/c I just feel so sorry for her. She is this older woman with a couple of screws missing but a HUGE HEART and the thought of her carrying around a sandwich in her fanny pack all morning until it’s lunch time breaks my heart – so I started making her sandwiches – ham and cheese on rye – she eats that every day. But yesterday I noticed the bread in the trash. I think I get the wrong rye!!!! Also I decided I got to stop making the sandwiches because it’s hard to keep up! Because I don’t go to the grocery store regularly and I am always scrambling to find ham and rye. But how do you cut off the sandwiches? I can’t just do it one day b/c then she’ll have no lunch! But to pre meditatively say: starting tomorrow, no more sandwiches – sounds mean! I’m an idiot.
    *
    Ok, back to pre-cleaning-lady cleaning.

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    • avatar

      lindsaybob August 9, 2014, 9:28 am

      I have no advice. I would probably have to keep making her sandwiches for all eternity or else, like, pretend to move house then get a new dog walker, because I can’t think of a way of telling her no more sandwiches without it being super awkward, but I just wanted to say it’s so sweet that you made her sandwiches in the first place!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy August 9, 2014, 9:46 am

      You could leave a fiver where you would normally leave a sandwich and tell her you’ve gotten too busy to make sandwiches but today’s lunch is on you and she should buy a sandwich while she’s out?

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh August 9, 2014, 6:03 pm

      I like Wendy’s idea. I’m sure it’s a treat that you do it, but I doubt many other houses do that for her!

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  • sobriquet

    sobriquet August 10, 2014, 1:53 am

    I’m going tubing (or TOOBING) tomorrow now that the weather has finally- woefully- gotten hot. It’s been a month since I last floated and there are a lot of people going, so I’m excited! I baked homemade honey wheat bread slider rolls to make a bunch of sammies for the river (cucumber tea, spicy pimiento cucumber, ham tomato cheese) and I also made several adult Capri Sun like drinks- basically mixed drinks, poured in ziplock bags and currently sitting in the freezer. I’m gonna tape straws to them tomorrow and it’ll be like Slushy Capri Suns with vodka. It’s my last weekend of drinking for awhile, so I’ve gotta do it up right!
    .
    The only problem is that my SIL is going to be joining us. I don’t want to be around her- especially not while drinking. I don’t want to let my guard down around her. But right now the only other choice is to cancel the whole thing or to tell BIL that we don’t want to be around her (which will just exclude him and push him away while he’s going through a hard time and potentially start more drama), so, fuck. Wish me luck.

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