Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread: Dating Horror Stories

I’ve been lucky in that I haven’t had too many terrible dates. I’ve had plenty of awkward dates, but terrible ones? Eh, not too many. Once, when I was in college, I accepted an invitation to some media event from a guy I was interning for at the local Fox affiliate. He’d been hitting on me all semester, which was totally creepy, and when he asked me to this event a couple weeks before the end of the semester, I was afraid if I said no it would affect my grade, so I went with him. Plus, I thought it could be a good networking opportunity (it wasn’t). He showed up at my door with flowers, chocolate and a teddy bear, and he told me I looked “delicious enough to eat.” The rest of the date went downhill from there. AND he still just gave me a B for the semester, the creep.

Then, there was this one guy I went out with who got mad when I didn’t kiss him at the end of the date and who proceeded to text and email me over the course of several weeks, calling me a tease, bitch, whore (really? for not kissing you?), and everything else you can think of. This was years ago and I was still new to blogging and hadn’t yet figured out the difference between sharing a persona and sharing myself. The latter may make for more raw, authentic writing, but the former creates some necessary boundaries between the writer and potential stalker guys she didn’t kiss on the first date. Needless to say, this dude took everything I wrote and made it about him, as if every post were a secret message for him to decode, and he continued to send me threatening and insulting emails for weeks before he got bored and moved on already.

Other than that, I’ve dated pretty nice guys who were, at worst, maybe a bit boring, but who, for the most part, were totally harmless and usually decent company for at least one evening. This, of course, doesn’t make for entertaining stories, but that’s where you come in. Surely some of you have some dating horrors in your history. Do share!

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107 comments… add one
  • SweetsAndBeats

    SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:06 pm

    I am so lucky that I don’t really have horror stories about dating. A few shitty boyfriends, sure, but definitely not dates. They always behaved themselves during the dating period.

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    • SweetsAndBeats

      SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:08 pm

      It was pretty embarrassing the other day, though, when I was visiting my boyfriend out-of-town and hanging out with a friend. We had had plans to duck out for a nooner, so friend and I were outside the meetup place saying goodbye and he came up and said to me, “So, want to see my hotel room?” Right IN FRONT OF MY FRIEND! I almost died of embarrassment.

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        lets_be_honest July 20, 2012, 4:12 pm

        A nooner? That’s awesome.

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:17 pm

        I’m laughing so hard right now.

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:27 pm

        I knew you’d know lol

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:31 pm

        He’s not always very subtle.

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:32 pm

        You had that walk of shame when heading to the hotel. I wanted to sing bow chicka bow wow behind you.

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:34 pm

        He was skipping like a kid heading to Disneyland and I was just… mortified… That would have made me collapse in embarrassment, thank you for not doing that!

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:36 pm

        I was concentrating too hard trying not to slip and fall on my ass with those damn flip flops and rain. That would have been mortifying.

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:36 pm

        Mortified together! Awesome. Yeah, the weather sucked.

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:38 pm

        I had a far walk ahead of me. The same distance we walked together. Longest walk of my life.

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        lets_be_honest July 20, 2012, 4:38 pm

        Whoa, whoa, you two know each other? That’s scary! I hope no one in my real life is on here and knows me!

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:41 pm

        I know you but you don’t know me.

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      • katie

        katie July 20, 2012, 4:44 pm

        you know, lbh, ive met DW-ers in two states now. its not weird!! lol

        .. but im assuming you two knew each other before DW? there are two people like that in chicago too.

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:49 pm

        Oh no, we’ve been talking for a while on FB and then did a meetup recently. It was pretty cool 🙂

        And yes, though the downtown area is BEAUTIFUL, that walk sucked. I can’t imagine doing it as many times as you did.

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:50 pm

        It helped that the area was beautiful. Plus the only creepers that came up to me was when you were around.

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:53 pm

        Did I tell you that he went into the convention? I saw him when I went out for a smoke, but boyfriend didn’t come out until after that creeper had disappeared. Boyfriend offered to give him a talking-to.

        I can’t believe there are men out there who think it’s appropriate to say shit like what he did to us… Ick.

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        Jessibel5 July 20, 2012, 6:14 pm

        What did he say to you?

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 21, 2012, 12:15 am

        Jessibel – He noticed my tattoos, asked us if we were going to the convention. I can’t remember verbatim, but we said ‘Yes’ and then he asked if I had any more tattoos “in private places”. WTF. I told him no, they were on my back, and then said, “PARDON US” and started walking really fast. He actually laughed… I don’t know what the hell was going on with him.

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  • BriarRose

    BriarRose July 20, 2012, 4:27 pm

    I’ve been pretty lucky, the worst I’ve dealt with is guys who are boring, watch TV during the date (meeting at a sports bar, for the win!) or just can’t get the picture, even when I flat out say I’m not interested in seeing them again.

    My favorite story though, is from when I was newly out of my marriage and giving online dating a try. I had been emailing this guy for a few days when he suggested lunch. Great! I got there and texted him that I was there and waiting in my car. No reply. 15 minutes go by and still nothing, so I go inside because I’m hungry. I find him inside and he’s already eating! He said he didn’t get the text so he figured he’d just start without me. He gets up and gives me a huge hug in front of everyone, and then I go order (luckily it was a place you order at the counter so I got to escape for a minute). We then had the worst 30 minute lunch EVER, and I was thrilled to escape. He was boring, weird, and creepy all rolled into one. When I got back to work, I had an IM from him saying “I just had lunch with a sexy lady”. Needless to say it was pretty funny to all my friends/co-workers, and provided lots of good jokes.

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  • Tracey

    Tracey July 20, 2012, 4:28 pm

    When I was 19, I went on a double date with a guy and his best friend that was a complete disaster. Here are the highlights:

    1) The best friend and his girlfriend got into a screaming match that ended with the best friend yelling, “Well, f*** you, b****!” out of the car window as we drove off. The best friend was the driver that night (I didn’t know how to drive, and my date didn’t have a driver’s license at the time).

    2) The best friend had a couple of joints in his glove compartment…a fact that I didn’t know (and my date swore he didn’t know) until the Canadian customs agent who searched the car after the best friend mouthed off at him found it. (“Aww, man,” best friend said in defense of the illegal stash, “It’s not that much. Hell, most of it’s only seeds….”)

    3) All three of us were strip searched. As I was searched, the agent asked me, “Just where did you meet these guys, anyway?” (My date and I knew each other from the bus we’d both take home from work. I met his best friend that night.)

    4) After we got turned back from the bridge to Canada and sent home (thank goodness we weren’t arrested), the best friend announced (over my repeated pleas to go home) that we should try the tunnel because “we know the car is clean!” I replied, “F*** you. Take me home. NOW!”

    5) My date insisted on walking me to my door, tried to get a kiss goodnight, and swore “I’ll make it up to you on our next date.” I slammed the door in his face.

    6) My date called me for a week to try and apologize, and when I finally took his call, he couldn’t finish the apology because he was distracted by a topless scene in the movie he had on in the background.

    I can laugh about it now, but I didn’t date for a long time after that.

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    • MandaNoA

      MandaNoA July 20, 2012, 5:07 pm

      Are you from Detroit? I only ask because of the Bridge to Canada bit. I live in the area and I hate dealing with customs but I’m also never hiding weed in my car when I try to cross the border.

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    • lucia_la

      lucia_la July 20, 2012, 6:31 pm

      Did you post this on myveryworstdate.com? I swear i’ve read this same story before. That’s also a hilarious site to read bad date stories.

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      Visharoo July 20, 2012, 11:19 pm

      I saw this exact one on MVRD too! It is good to know that real people submit them!

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        Visharoo July 20, 2012, 11:20 pm

        *MVWD

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    • Tracey

      Tracey July 21, 2012, 11:39 pm

      Yep, I’m in Detroit, and this was on MVWD. The biggest surprise with the MVWD post was that some people thought I overreacted. The ones who did thought it was “only” weed and it was nothing to be worried about. Because being detained by Customs, especially when you’re out with someone you just met, have never been in any legal trouble before, and you aren’t a drug user is no reason to be scared out of your mind, right?

      Anywho, I didn’t try to go back to Windsor for at least a year after that because I was convinced I was going to be strip searched again. On the positive side, I never saw or heard from my date or his best friend ever after the botched apology.

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    Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:31 pm

    I went out on a date with this guy. He seemed really nice but very touchy feely type. Dinner was nice then we walked over to the comedy club and he wanted to sit in the back corner. He kept grabbing me trying to make out and I just wanted to watch the comedians. He’s sitting in the bar stool behind me trying to massage me *creepy* and just way too much pda for a first date. So one comedian comes up and starts making fun of the crowd and starts talking about the creep in the corner who wont let go of his gf. I’m soo embarrassed that someone notices cause everyone turned around but it made the guy stop touching me. He then walks me to my car and tries to make out with me. I give him a quick kiss but he keeps going for more and WONT LET ME GO. He had his hands on my neck trying to massage my neck but it felt overbearing so I put my arms in between us told him I had to go and threw off his hold and he got ass pissed ran to his car and stormed away. Thankfully, that was the last time I ever heard from him.

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    • SweetsAndBeats

      SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:35 pm

      Thank goodness he didn’t bother you again… can we just chalk it up to your animal magnetism?

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:37 pm

        I should have wore something slutty to the convection. Guys love my boobs.

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:50 pm

        I don’t think you could have competed with those chicks with the painted-on bits… they were crazy.

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:52 pm

        I would have a painted arrow pointing to my neither regions. Talk about competition I would blow them away.

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 20, 2012, 4:55 pm

        That could have worked, why is hindsight always 20/20?!?!

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      Anna July 20, 2012, 4:43 pm

      Read mine below. I think we may have been dating the same guy.

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 4:45 pm

        Sadly, I think there are just too many guys like that out there.

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    Anna July 20, 2012, 4:32 pm

    When I was a freshman in college, I met a cute guy in class and we started dating casually. I had never had a boyfriend before so I really didn’t know what to expect or ask for out of dating. We didn’t really go on dates often. I think the best “date” he took me on was coffee at Arabica. Most of the time, we either drove off into oblivion to fool around or he invited me to hang out with him and his buddies ( a bunch of stuck up snobs with rich parents). Their favorite activity was breaking and entering. I learned from him how to open a locked door using a credit card. Incidentally, that skill has helped me a couple times when I locked myself out of my house.

    After I broke up with that guy, I met another guy at school who was even worse. On our first date, we went to the movies and ended up in a theater with no one else. He thought that was a wide open door to throw himself at me aggressively throughout the entire movie. I don’t even remember what movie it was because I spent more time fending off his desperate advances than watching the movie. After that, for some reason I gave him one more chance to hang out but he was way too handsy 24/7 and was smothering me after only knowing each other a week.

    After that awful experience, I vowed to be single for a very long time but ended up only being single for a month or so before I met my most recent ex, who was my first true love and the only person I’ve ever enjoyed sex with.

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    Anonymous July 20, 2012, 4:53 pm

    Oooh, I’ve got a bad dating story for you guys!
    I’d given this guy a second chance– we’d gone to a movie for our first date so I didn’t get to talk with him much. He seemed not like my type at all, but I figured maybe I needed to go out again just to make sure.

    Well, he got finished with work at 4 on a Friday and insisted on getting dinner right away as soon as work was over. Which was…odd, but okay, I could understand that. But then he INSISTED on picking me up from my house, despite my assurance I could meet him there. So we had an awkward car ride in which I struggled to make conversation. We had similar careers but he somehow had nothing interesting to say even though I thought his work was really fascinating.

    It only got worse from there. A friend has recommended a pub to him, saying the food was really good. Since it was barely 5pm on a Friday, there was no one else in the place. Literally, no one. We waited for a good 15 minutes to get a table because there was no one in sight. Then our food came, and was kinda gross. All the while, we were struggling to maintain any sort of conversation. Also, we were planning on going to a music festival afterward, so the whole time I was thinking “oh god, I have to pretend to be enjoying this the rest of the night?”

    At one point he asked me how my food was, and I lied and said “oh, it’s good”. He said his was good too. (Stimulating, right?) But a few seconds later he said “um, actually, it’s… not that good”.
    Now here comes the best part! All of a sudden, he starts taking really deep breaths, with his eyes closed… all the color drained out of his face and he said “yeah… this food is kind of making me sick”. So then I was just sitting there, while he breathed the way you do when you’re trying not to vomit. In my head I was screaming “DO. NOT. PUKE.” over and over. Eventually, he seemed to pull himself together, took a sip of soda and said “ok, ready to go?” I was super relieved even though we left most of our food and the waitress was shooting us nasty looks.
    So we got up and then here comes my second-favorite part: he says “ok, we just have to pick up my cousin on the way”. This was kind of the part that pushed me over the edge. Not only do I have to spend a night with someone who couldn’t maintain any sort of conversation and looked like he was going to loose his cookies all over our dinner, but now we would have his COUSIN along too??

    Luckily right then my phone went off and I made up some excuse about my mom needing me to come over and help her with a party she was throwing for my brother (actually was true, but she wanted me to come over the next day, not right then). Yeah, I totally lied. I felt awful about it and still think I should have just been honest with him, or sucked it up and just gone to the (outdoor, in 90 degree weather) concert with him and his cousin. But hey, I’ve since learned that it’s not a good idea to go out again with someone you don’t really like.

    And oh yeah, then we had a really, really silent/awkward car ride home since he had insisted on picking me up. Good times.

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    Buzzelbee July 20, 2012, 4:56 pm

    I once accidentally ended up on a date with two guys at once back in college. Even at the time it was really amusing. I was 17 or 18 and clearly was not very suave with social situations. I had just finished a semester taking philosophy 101 and ran into a guy that had sat behind me and we occasionally chatted and went for coffee after class. He asked if I wanted to get together for dinner Friday night. I had no idea me meant as a date and had assumed he just meant as friends. I know I was a bit of an idiot to not realize he meant as a date but I had no idea. I had a girlfriend who had wanted to set me up with her boyfriend’s friend and this turned out to be the only night he was free so I suggested we all meet up as a group of friends for a movie and I could meet him then, in the safety of numbers and all that. Well once the guy picked me up for dinner it was clear he thought we were on a date and all of my, no no let me pick up my own dinner was not getting it through to him that I disagreed. Rather than doing the smart thing and calling my friend to call off the movie I went through with it and watched a movie with one date on either side of me. Needless to say I never talked to either one again.

    Just to top off how bad I was with social graces (lets all pretent I have grown as a person), on the first date with my now husband I told him the story thinking it was really funny but he spent the whole time trying to figure out which of the two guys he was supposed to be, the one who was on the date or the one who only thought he was.

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      Guesteriffic July 23, 2012, 1:30 pm

      So you were the bad date. I’m half expecting one of the guys to write in here. “So I asked this girl from Philosophy class out on a date. It seemed like a great idea at the time since we’d gone on a few coffee dates and we had a casual, friendly vibe that I thought could blossom into something more. Anyway, we went to dinner and everything was going well. Conversation during dinner floweda and we had a good time. Right as we were finishing off dessert she mentioned going to a movie with her cousin and a few of her friends after. That was a big, red flag since movies aren’t exactly the most interactive of dates and all, but I went along with it anyway because I reckoned that if she wasn’t interested she would’ve given me the ol’ ‘we should do this again soon’ and hug with pat on the back and sent me packing right then and there.

      Anyway, we go to the movie and get this she had another date waiting for her. I was so pissed. I mean here I was sitting on one side of this gal in the theater and her other date is sitting on the other side of her. I was fuming the entire time. I couldn’t decide if she was ‘food hooking’ or if she thought I was enough of a putz to take her serious after that or what. I know that the other guy was pissed too ’cause we made eye contact at one point and gave each other the ‘is this chick for real?’ look. After the movie I fled the scene. I think the other dude did too.”

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  • MandaNoA

    MandaNoA July 20, 2012, 4:58 pm

    We were just telling dating horror stories at work the other day. My favorite story (it’s funny now but of course wasn’t then) is actually a three parter:

    I was just getting back into online dating and was juggling email conversations with a handful of guys (I only mention this because it may explain why I missed that this guy was weird). “The magician” (he did slight of hand magic, so my friends and I nicknamed him this) and I decided to get coffee at a local coffee house for our first date. We both lived in the same city and he had hinted to me about which neighborhood he lived in, so when he picked a coffee house near to that neighborhood I wasn’t suprised. I ended up getting there about 5 minutes early so I ordered my drink and texted him to let him know I was there. 5 mins later he texted me back saying he was on his way. I was a little peeved because he was essentially saying that he was leaving at the time he was supposed to arrive but I decided to let it going knowing he only lived about 5 mins away. He eventually showed up, ordered a coffee and joined me at my table. We ended up talking for just over an hour. In that time period he kept telling me how much I am like the guy from Breaking Bad (I’m a chemist but I am NOT a meth producer) and how I must be super anal and antisocial. He also checked his phone about every 3 minutes and even used it at one point to look up my online dating profile because he thought I was answering a question differently in person than I did on there. Needless to say I wasn’t having the best time. At one point he asked me a question and while I was in the middle of answering it he said “Well this was fun but I should go. Bye!” and litterally high tailed it out of the coffee house. I sat there flabbergasted for a minute before I decided to chalk it up to a bad first date and left.
    Cut to the next day when I get a text from The Magician saying how much fun he had with me and how much he wanted to see me again. I’m not entirely sure why I agreed to this second date. I think I was just so suprised that he thought it was a great date that I thought maybe I missed someting. Our second date went much better and we actually had a very good time.
    We ended up agreeing to go out again a week later. Once again he was late to dinner and to make matters worse, once he got to the restaurant he “realized” that his roomates were there. He proceeded to go over to their table and talk to them for 10mins and completely ignore me. During dinner he started doing the compulsive phone checking thing again. This time I pointed out to him that it was rude and was one of the reasons that I almost didn’t agree to the second date. He apologized and asked me what the other reasons were. When I told him about the abrupt exit he started laughing. He informed me that that was his “move”. Apparently on all first dates about an hour in he asks the girl a question and before she can finish answering he excuses himself quickly. He said this way he has the upper hand because the girl thinks that she is more interested in him than he is in her. I told him that was a pretty douchie move and his only answer was “Well it worked.” Needless to say at the end of that date I told him I wasn’t interested in continuing this relationship because dumping douchebags was my move.

    To this day he still occasionally texts me to tell me I broke his heart and to ask me for nude photos.

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      Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 5:03 pm

      I love that last line! lmao

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      Jessibel5 July 20, 2012, 5:25 pm

      That last line has such moxie! Love it!

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    • Tracey

      Tracey July 21, 2012, 11:45 pm

      What…the…hell!? The last line is classic. People can be so odd….

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    Jessibel5 July 20, 2012, 5:23 pm

    I LOVE these stories! The one about the weed in the car had me gasping in shock! I have been told before that my dates could be made into a book because I have had a few really bad ones, but three I remember the most, but I’ll split them up in order to not make an epic, long post.

    I was hooking up/hanging out with a guy “Oliver” who was a coworker at the restaurant I was working at (which just…don’t ever do, it’s a bad idea. The whole situation crashed and burned spectacularly because it was worse than a love triangle because there were four people involved and I still blame it on the fact that we were all immature college kids, except for the other girl in the picture, who I still think is a crazy, cheating, b who spread rumors that I was trying to kill myself…but that’s off topic)

    Oliver and I were out on a date one night at a bar, having both just turned 21 within the past few months, so we thought that drinking together was the most awesome date ever. We met up with one of his friends at the end of the night, and they decided that they wanted to go to a house party. So we climb into Oliver’s car, which was brand new. He was always one of those people who it is very hard to tell if they’re drunk or not, but within about 10 seconds I realized he was tipsy and asked him to pull the car over. I was sober (had only nursed one beer throughout the night) and asked him if I could drive. He refused to pull over the car and I kept saying “let me out, let me out, or at least let me drive” He refused, saying it was his brand new car, and no one else could drive it. His friend also kept trying to get him to pull over.

    The friend and I were subtly trying to figure out how to get out of this nightmare, and unfortunately we never came to any red lights. Luckily, we passed a police station, and as we passed it, my date made a left turn from the middle lane to go to a fast food restaurant parking lot. It was late enough that there were no cars around…except for the police car behind us who immediately pulled him over in the parking lot. One pulled him out of the car, gave him the drunk test, while the other asked me and the friend why the hell we weren’t driving since we were sober. In the background, we hear this wailing sound. The cop testing Oliver had decided that he was over the legal limit and was arresting him, and hestarted sobbing, wailing, and begging the officer to please not arrest him. The cop questioning us turned to me and said “can you drive this car? because I want you to come down to the station and wait for him”

    The cops requested that I wait for him until he was released, so I sat in the waiting area for about 4 hours waiting for them to process and release him. The friend and I bonded over this whole situation, and talked about how crazy it was. While we were waiting, the cops had given me O’s phone, and it was ringing off the hook, and texts were showing up from Shelly, another coworker of ours. Turns out that he was hooking up with her too and had told her that he would pick her up in the fast food restaurant parking lot so we could all go to this party together.

    When he finally got released, he was all contrite…until we got outside of the police station and back to his car. At this point it’s about 3:30 in the morning and he goes “okay, let’s get to that house party!” and rubbed his hands gleefully anticipating going. He also claimed that the sobbing and wailing was all an act in an attempt to get them not to arrest him. I just tossed him the keys and walked back to the police station to call a cab.

    The convoluted part of the story is that I ended up dating another coworker, after Oliver ended up dating Shelly. When they broke up, Shelly started flirting with MY boyfriend, who ended up leaving me for Shelly. So I started hooking up with Oliver again. Not my smartest move. The last time I talked to Oliver was right around when I got engaged and he told me that it was a waste for me to get married and a girl like me shouldn’t be settling down. Yeah, okay dude.

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    • Tracey

      Tracey July 21, 2012, 11:48 pm

      Oliver sounds like he’s related to my horror story date’s best friend….

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    soulja July 20, 2012, 5:39 pm

    I actually think the worst dates are when everything is going well and then the guy just throws a curveball that ruins everything. Like mistreating the waitress, bringing up STD’s as if it’s his business, making a misogynistic comment. How about dating a shorter guy who tells you to “wear something nice” for a date and then proceeds to pout whenever you wear heels!

    I went on a date with one guy AGES ago who was so shy, he barely spoke. Like, he asked no questions and only delivered one word replies. Horrible.

    One guy I was really excited to go on a date with. When we met at the hookah bar, the first thing he did was show me a text he got from another girl, and then all he did was talk about the recent dates he had been on. Also talked in detail about a backpacking trip to Europe… that he took 5 years ago.

    Back when I was 19 or so, I accidentally went out with a friend of a guy I had recently gone on a date with. I didn’t realize it until the friend mentioned it, but he didn’t seem to mind. Until it was obvious that I wasn’t going to sleep with him. Then he “negged” me the rest of the night. “Yeah, I’d say you’re a ‘6’ out of 10.” Thanks, asshole!

    Ha, so, so many dating stories…

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      Anna July 20, 2012, 8:42 pm

      The backpacking in Europe story? Haha! Reminds me of Friends. “You only tell the backpacking in Europe story if you’re trying to get some!”

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    Jessibel5 July 20, 2012, 5:41 pm

    My second awful date kind of spins out from the first.

    I was out with friends one night and we ran into some of their other friends. I had just been dumped by Sam for Shelly (Sam was the coworker I dated after Oliver started dating Shelly). The breakup hadn’t happened all that long ago, and I was kind of depressed about it. I started talking to this guy Wayne who was a friend of the friends. I had seen him around school, but didn’t know him that well. We had a really great conversation and he seemed really nice. I told him what restaurant I worked at and he said “omigod! My best friend works there! Do you know Shelly?!” I was diplomatic and just said “oh, yeah, I know Shelly!” (keep in mind also that the mutual friend Wayne and I had had also dated Shelly…who cheated on him).

    Wayne then goes to me “so you also know her boyfriend Sam right? He’s such a cool guy!” I said “yeah, I know Sam” He says “We should totally go out with them sometime, on like a double date, you know?!” I then cut all the pretense and go “yeah, um…that’s probably not the best idea. Sam and I were dating until recently and broke up about a month ago”

    Wayne goes “ohhhhh….you’re THAT girl….”

    Red flag that should have sent me running for the hills. I asked him what that meant and he blusteringly told me that Shelly was very sad because she had really liked Sam for a very long time and it was just that she was sad that Sam was dating me and that’s all it was and she had never, ever said anything bad about me. Riiiight.

    For some reason, I did agree to go on a date with him a few nights later. I ended up picking him up because he didn’t have a car and I did. We drove to get dinner and some drinks, and when the date was done, he suggested we go for a walk around the college campus since we had just graduated about a month before. I had had a pleasant enough time, so I said sure.

    We drove to campus, parked the car and got out and were walking around. We were walking a path next to a building and he turned and kissed me. It was pretty nice, so I let it happen, but then all of a sudden, he grabbed my ponytail, turned me around, shoved my face in to the brick wall and started humping me from behind. I extricated myself really quickly and pushed him away from me and ran back to my car. I left him there on campus I was so freaked out. I don’t actually remember what the outcome eventually was for this situation, whether or not he said anything to anyone else, but I’m pretty sure if I heard from him again I told him to not call me ever again.

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      Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 6:24 pm

      He did WHAT?!

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        Jessibel5 July 20, 2012, 6:35 pm

        Humping me, fully clothed. Using my ponytail as a handle. I know…I know…

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        Trixy Minx July 20, 2012, 6:39 pm

        Was that some sick form of retaliation to get you back for dating sam?

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        Jessibel5 July 23, 2012, 10:30 am

        I don’t think so, I think he was just weird and thought that that was okay. I’d be pretty annoyed if that was the case, since Shelly hadn’t even LOOKED at Sam until I was dating him. That whole “oh, she really liked him for a long time” thing was total bullshit. The reason she and Oliver broke up was because she wasn’t putting out. Which is fine. She wasn’t putting out because she wanted a serious relationship with him. But she was also cheating on him with a guy we knew from school. It was really crazy. I swear any time I was out with friends at a bar or a party, and was talking to a guy, if I mentioned the restaurant where I worked some guy would say to me “oh, I’m hooking up with Shelly, do you know her?” or “oh, my friend is dating Shelly, do you know her?” when I knew full well that that friend WASN’T Oliver and that she was dating Oliver.

        She ended up staying with Sam for about two or three years. She also had him convinced that he took her virginity (I have NO CLUE how she pulled that one off)

        I ran into him after they broke up and he apologized profusely to me for how he threw me to the wolves by dumping me and immediately taking up with her. I ended up having to quit because the gossip and the nasty comments got so bad, and even the managers said nasty things to me. One of them whispered to me “go home, nobody likes you” every time he passed me. Someone started a rumor that I attempted suicide because Sam broke up with me, which was not true at all.

        When I ran into him a few years later he regaled me with stories of how awful she was. Apparently she would flirt with guys in front of him to get free drinks, or if there were no guys to flirt with, would make him pay for her AND her friends all night, and her friends were never not there with them. He said that about 3 months before their breakup he tried to break up with her saying he wasn’t sure things would last, and she convinced him to stay with her and promised that they had a future. Then three months later, she cheated on him and dumped him by text. This girl is seriously bad news bears and I’ve been burned by her either directly or indirectly 3-4 times. I tried to play nice, but if I ever see her on the street now, I’m going to pretend I don’t see her.

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    • Tracey

      Tracey July 21, 2012, 11:52 pm

      Again…what the hell?!? I’m so glad you got away from this freak.

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    jlyfsh July 20, 2012, 6:01 pm

    i’m lucky i haven’t really had any truly awful dates. i did have one guy i met online though that was a little creepy. he was kind of an odd bird, and i know that we shouldn’t judge people by what they wear but his outfit was just a little out there. full length trench coat (When the weather did not warrant one) and a fedora type hat. he was actually ok at first but then he wanted to get in to the nitty gritty of what we wanted out of a significant other. not really first date material. he wanted to know how important sex was to me, what my favorite positions were, etc. the conversation didn’t really flow there either, it just came out of nowhere.

    he sent me a message the next day and asked me if i wanted to go out again. i said i didn’t think we meshed well and that i wished him luck. he went a little crazy. went on and on about how i wasn’t giving us a chance and i should really go out with him again. and why was i so nice the night before. i then blocked him from my plenty of fish account, haha.

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    Jessibel5 July 20, 2012, 6:09 pm

    Third awful date is my favorite bad date story.

    My friend Rick was in the military and knew this guy, who everyone called Murph. He thought that Murph and I would have a great time on a date, so he set up this blind date.

    Murph comes to the door of my house: cute, gorgeous eyes, dressed well (at the time I was a sucker for a guy in a sweater), driving a really nice car. He takes me to his car, opens my door for me before coming around to his side, total gentleman. I am aware of the “girlfriend test” so unlocked his door for him before he got to his side, and he remarked at how impressed he was that I did that. He asks me where I wanted to go to dinner, that he wanted to take me to my absolute favorite place.

    I take him to my favorite Italian restaurant and we have a pretty nice time. At some point during dinner, he says to me “Have you ever been to Camelot?” I told him no and asked what it was. He told me that it was this really awesome bar, and since we had been talking about our love of dive bars, he would really like to take me. He told me that I was going to love it.

    We finished dinner and decided to walk to Camelot, because it wasn’t that far away. We get there and go in….and it’s a strip club.

    I wanted to seem cool, so I stayed with him while he sat down and ordered a bunch of drinks. He proceeded to get really drunk. A cab home was probably about $40-$50, and I was pretty broke at that time, where that amount of money could break my bank, so I was still at that point depending on him for a ride home. We went to leave and I asked if I could have the keys to drive since he wasn’t in any condition to drive. He dangled the keys out of my reach and said “Sure, you can drive home, if you give me a kiss”

    I called for a taxi and decided the $$ was worth not having to kiss him.

    The day after our date, he called me. I didn’t pick up and let him leave a voicemail. His voicemail said something to the effect of that he was so very sorry that he led me on, but he thought that we wanted different things at this time. He didn’t want a girlfriend and felt bad that he gave me that impression that he did and that he thought it was best if we parted ways and didn’t go out again. That was fine by me!

    The next few weeks though, he called me constantly. Talk about sending mixed signals! About a week after his “sorry” voicemail, he left another one saying that he had made a mistake and he realized that we’re meant to be together, and he’s so so sorry for leaving the other message and could I ever forgive him, because he wants to give me another chance (yes, he actually wanted to give ME another chance!!!)

    Another time he called and left a voicemail. Before I had a chance to listen to the voicemail, he called again. When I didn’t pick up that time, he called again about 15 seconds later. He called every 15 seconds for about 5 minutes, which was a lot of ringing. When I finally listened to the message, it said “You know, I’m starting to think that you’re ignoring my calls, and that’s really bitchy of you. I was going to give you a chance! I was going to let you be my girlfriend! Although I don’t know why now that I know what a bitch you are. I’m going to call you again in 15 seconds to try to trick you into picking up. Eventually he stopped calling. I think Rick had to threaten him to get him to leave me alone, which I’m sure went over well in their Army company.

    Rick still feels terrible, 7 years later. He says he’ll owe me forever.

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    • MackenzieLee

      ColorsOfTheWind July 22, 2012, 10:07 am

      I’m intrigued what’s the girlfriend test?

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        Jessibel5 July 23, 2012, 10:12 am

        The girlfriend test is from some movie that I forget the name of. It’s when the guy unlocks the passenger side door of the car first to let the girl in, and while he’s walking around the car to his side, she leans over and unlocks his door for him instead of just sitting there and letting him take the extra time to use his key (that sounds dirty). Keyless remote entry fobs have pretty much made the “girlfriend test” go the way of the dinosaur, but on occasions when I’ve been able to use it, I do. It always seems to impress the boys. I actually didn’t get the chance to use it on my husband until earlier this year, after we had been together for ages. His car died and since he also had a newer, nicer truck, he bought a beater car to just take to and from the office to avoid all the gas usage. It has no air conditioning, and power nothing, and separate keys for entry and ignition. He let me in on my side on the first day he had it and I leaned over to unlock his door and he was like “YOU KNOW THE GIRLFRIEND TEST!!! I KNEW I MARRIED YOU FOR A REASON!”

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        Kelly L. July 23, 2012, 1:33 pm

        My ex used to forget to lock his car door all the time. Then he’d unlock the passenger side for me, I’d get in, and I’d glance over and see that his door was unlocked and leave it alone. He would inevitably try to unlock it anyway, and after a few months of dating he blew up at me about how I never did the “girlfriend test” unlocking. I was like, “BUT YOU NEVER LOCK THE EFFING DOOR IN THE FIRST PLACE.” The light bulb went on in his head, but only for about a week and then he started up bugging me again about my “rudeness.” And because I didn’t have a lot of spine back then, I finally started reaching over every time to fake-unlock the door even if he hadn’t locked it in the first place.

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        Jessibel5 July 23, 2012, 4:22 pm

        I’m glad he’s your ex! What a poophead!

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        2_J July 24, 2012, 7:16 pm

        The movie “move” is from “a tale from the bronx” (i think) and Camelot lol, you’re def in DC aren’t you

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        2_J July 24, 2012, 7:19 pm

        A Bronx Tale …..sorry 🙂

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    Kimothy July 20, 2012, 6:25 pm

    Probably the most awkward one (and shortest one)was a guy that my friend set me up with. She gave me his email address so we started messaging each other. I was 17 at the time and had very little experience with boys so I didn’t realise something might be up. We arranged to meet up to just have a walk about the park and chat. On the day of the date I went online to find a message telling me that he was 13 and asking me if it was alright to still date. Hell no it wasn’t! But it was too late to cancel so I had to meet him and have an awkward silence and “ummm, no not gonna happen”.

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      Amy July 21, 2012, 12:36 pm

      Why did your friend set you up with a 13 year old???

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        Kimothy July 21, 2012, 6:00 pm

        She didn’t know that he was so young. What’s even worse is that she knew him cause she dated him before me.

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    Jilliez July 20, 2012, 6:31 pm

    I have a simple, yet gross date story… I went out with a cute guy from my pottery class in high school to a movie, where he proceeded to chew tobacco, spit in a soda can, and try to periodically make out (still with a wad in his mouth). Sooooo not hot!!

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      Anna July 20, 2012, 8:45 pm

      Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Chewing tobacco is so gross.

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  • landygirl

    landygirl July 20, 2012, 6:43 pm

    I went out with a group of friends, one of whom was a possible love match for me. He drank…a lot…all night long. In the cab ride back to our hotel (4 of us in the back seat, I was to the right of this guy, his cousin was sitting on the other side) his cousin remarked that he wasn’t looking so good. Next thing I know, the entire left side of my body is covered in vomit. The cab driver was pissed off and kicked us out of the cab. I had to walk the rest of the way back to the hotel covered in puke. Good times.

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  • Copa

    copacabananut July 20, 2012, 7:47 pm

    1) When I was 18, I went out on my first date with a guy I’d met in class. It was my first week of college, so we were talking about our respective hometowns. He was from some southern state. I mentioned I thought southern accents were cute; he asked if I’d noticed his, I said no, that I wouldn’t have even know he was from the south if he hadn’t told me. He then proceeded to tell me more about life in the south — in the southern twang he’d begun to fake.

    2) This isn’t necessarily a dating story, but still awkward/funny. When I was 19, I met a guy and we exchanged numbers one while a bunch of us were out in a group. I thought it was harmless enough. We’d get in touch on weekends so he and his friend (who was casually dating one of my friends) could meet up with me and my friends. After interacting with him in these group settings, I realized I had no romantic interest in him, so I decided to stop being the one to instigate contact at all since I knew he was still interested. He continued to reach out for weekend plans, and trying not to be rude, I’d continue to let him know where I’d be with my friends. I thought he’d eventually catch on that I didn’t see him “in that way,” but he didn’t. One evening he asked me to go to his frat’s date party the following week; I told him flat out that I didn’t think it was a good idea because I did not want him to get the wrong idea about what kind of relationship we had. He assured me we could go as friends, so I hesitantly agreed — but about 15 minutes later, cancelled (and apologized PROFUSELY for agreeing just to change my mind) when I double-checked a syllabus and realized I had a mandatory class event the same evening as his date party. I felt pretty bad, but figured things were fine since I’d already explained to him that I just didn’t see him as anything more than a friend. WRONG. A week or two later, we went through our usual routine of meeting up at a party. At the end of that particular night, I decided to walk my friend, an openly gay male, home. I then began to receive texts from my gentleman friend, demanding to know why I’d left with another guy, how could I continue to hurt him that way. I think I responded something like, “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I decided to leave with [Gay Friend]. I hope you enjoy the rest of your night.” When I got back to my dorm room later that evening, I had a bunch of IMs from this guy on AIM (which was, like, soo cool when I was in college haha). The IMs went on and on and on about how he was so through with me, done putting up with me, how I was a terrible person, and how I was only using him as his Baxter (which I then looked up on UrbanDictionary.com). This guy and I never EVEN managed to go out on a date, but he still makes it into my book as an awkward dating story. I truly never meant to hurt his feelings, and part of me will always wonder if, at 19, I was so stupid that I didn’t realize I was leading him.

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    Desiree July 20, 2012, 11:44 pm

    I’ve had some doozies. Some are too absurd to share, but one sticks out in my mind. I had been dating a guy for a little while and my mom was coming into town to visit. The guy suggested that the three of us get dinner, which I thought was considerate. We went out to a really nice restaurant and things were going well. Then, a group of fifteen 20-somethings arrived for a bachelorette party, and they were seated right next to us. My date was DROOLING over them the entire night, even tried flirting/hitting on them. This would have been annoying enough, but he was doing it while seated next to MY MOTHER. It goes without saying that that relationship didn’t work out.

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      Trixy Minx July 21, 2012, 10:14 am

      Well already you figured out what an ass that guy was before you got serious.

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      Trixy Minx July 21, 2012, 10:14 am

      Well atleast you figured out what an ass that guy was before you got serious.

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    Addie Pray July 21, 2012, 7:09 am

    I haven’t had any per se horrible dates – I’ve had several boring dates. I’ve had a few awkward dates, including one recently with a police officer who, I swear to god, was interrogating me throughout the date.

    But here’s one – a long, long time ago I had a *really* bad date, some of it was my fault. I was 16, and this kid from class, Matt, asked me to go to a play. He picked me up and everything and it was very cute. But I fell asleep – like, I was asleep the entire play. I couldn’t tell you a single detail about the play. It may have even been a symphony, no clue b/c I was out the entire time. So, that part of the date was bad. Probably for my date – because I slept great! Afterward when I was good and awake, we went out for Andy’s Frozen Custard. (That part of the date was great.) But then here is where it got really weird. I may have mentioned this on DW so sorry for being repetitive if so and making you read this twice. When we left the frozen custard place, Matt pulled out of the parking lot and cut another car off. Matt didn’t see the car, but no harm, no foul, other than the other guy needing to slam on his breaks. But the driver of that car got REALLY pissed. I could see through the side mirror that he was cursing loudly. A block down the road we were all at a red light, this guy gets out of his car, and confronts Matt at the driver side window. He yanks Matt’s door open and starts punching Matt in the face. The guy was obviously drunk off his rocker and crazy. His girlfriend / lady friend / passenger, whatever, had chased him out of the car and pried him off Matt, and they got back in their car. Matt was shocked – he had no idea what hit him, literally. It was all over in a second, but I was so scared. And when I get scared and nervous, I laugh. So I started laughing, which did not go over well. And then Matt dropped me off at home – at this point it was like 11 pm. Maybe midnight. And we never went out again. That was a pretty bad date.

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    • Budj

      Budj July 21, 2012, 11:41 am

      yowzer. I laugh when I’m nervous too…it’s weird and at times horribly inappropriate even though I’m not laughing at the situation I’m laughing as a bodily response to nervousness.

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        Addie Pray July 21, 2012, 11:45 am

        Me too. Except it looks and sounds like I’m laughing just because I think it’s funny. I wish I reacted differently.

        And for the record the next day at school I apologized for laughing and asked if he was ok. Matt didn’t want to talk about it. We didn’t speak much for the rest of high school though we had friends in common. About 10 years later we were hanging out with our friends in common, reconnecting after all the years, and we talked about that bad date. He’s not still mad at me for laughing. Haha.

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      Slamy July 21, 2012, 1:32 pm

      Ive fallen asleep on more movie dates than I’d like to admit (3). I’ve given up on going to the movies after 10.

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        Addie Pray July 21, 2012, 3:04 pm

        Oh me too. 8-something is the latest movie I can catch. I’ve fallen asleep on a lot of dates. Falling asleep on a first date is probably the worst. But I don’t know why guys take it so personally… Because it just means I’ve had a long day and I’m comfortable.

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      • MackenzieLee

        ColorsOfTheWind July 22, 2012, 10:13 am

        Same here. My friends all like to make bets on how soon into the movie I will fall asleep

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    • SweetsAndBeats

      SweetsAndBeats July 21, 2012, 1:53 pm

      I fall asleep during symphonies, too. Without. Fail. I even had the privilege of a free evening at the San Francisco Symphony and was out like a light 10 minutes in. I always sleep really, really well though!

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    lilypad July 21, 2012, 1:44 pm

    Somebody else upthread said it best…the worst dates are ones where everything is going well and then they throw out a curveball!!

    I had been dating this guy for 6 weeks, and he had so many of the qualities I had been looking for: tall, handsome, sarcastic, successful, outgoing, etc, etc. As much as I liked him, there was a nagging suspicion in the back of my mind that the relationship wasn’t going to work out, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. And then we went out on New Years Eve.

    Before meeting his friends at our destination, we stopped at a bar for some drinks. Where he proceeds to pound back two Long Islands, and then reveal to me his deep, dark secret: he used to manage warehouses that grew pot, and one time he was almost killed at gunpoint in his own home. Oh yeah, and “the most alive he ever felt was when the gun was at his head.”

    I really should have turned and ran in the other direction, but it was NYE, and I figured I’d stick out the night anyway and deal with the red flags in the morning. TERRIBLE IDEA. Over the next 5 hours all of these things happened:

    1) He drank 10+ drinks and got so sloppy drunk that he kept tripping and slobbering on me
    2) He said all sorts of horrible things to me about the other girls in the nightclub, calling them fat and slutty and ugly
    3) He tried to pick drunken fights with at least 4 people, including a bouncer
    4) He threw a tantrum and drunkenly left me alone on the street at 2 AM
    5) Made us go to Jack-n-the Box
    6) Cried on the train ride home about missing his ex-girlfriend
    7) threw up in my bathroom because he at too many jack-n-the box tacos

    Needless to say, we broke up.

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    • Budj

      Budj July 23, 2012, 8:35 am

      That’s not a curveball….more like driving down an intersection and a tractor trailer spontaneously manifests out of no where going in a direction towards / perpendicular to your car and then smashing you t-bone style.

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        lilypad July 23, 2012, 2:24 pm

        Yes, now that you mention it…that’s exactly what that felt like.

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    kay216 July 21, 2012, 5:25 pm

    I have only been on a handful of dates in recent years, but this one was particularly bad/awkward. I met this guy online dating. We had talked a few times on the phone including a pretty awesome 3-hour conversation. I was pretty excited about this date given the phone chemistry. When I showed up to the restaurant where we decided to have dinner I almost didn’t recognize him… first red flag. I’m sure all his pictures online are at least 3-5 years old. But given our phone conversations I decided to be open-minded. Well, things just went downhill. In addition to not looking anything like his online pictures, he started planning our next like 50 dates at dinner! He said he didn’t really like sports and when I said I loved baseball he started looking up the local teams schedule to take me to a game. Oh and he didn’t just smile at you he leered. If the leering wasn’t enough, the absolute worst part of the date was when after we finished eating he reached his hand out across the table for me to hold it… and then lingered there long enough that I tried to laugh it off and say ‘what?’. Ugh! Needless to say, I paid for dinner and said told him it was nice meeting him. He definitely didn’t get a second date lol.

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    temperance July 21, 2012, 6:52 pm

    I dated this guy for a few weeks who told me that he wanted me to meet his mom. I thought that he meant his stepmother, because his birth mother had died like 10 years before.

    Nope. He wanted me to go to the cemetery with him to talk to her, and introduce myself to her grave. After dating for like 2.5 weeks. As you can imagine, I did not let this happen.

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    SpaceySteph July 21, 2012, 7:23 pm

    Not quite as bad as some of these….
    I mentioned last week that I went on a blind date with a friend’s husband’s friend while my fiance (who was then my boyfriend of about 2 weeks) was out of town. My friend called to ask if she could set us up, and I wavered but ultimately agreed. She’s orthodox and its fairly common to go on set-ups like that. She likes to think of herself as a matchmaker.
    So he called me. I offered to drive to meet him, both to have an escape route and because I live way out in the suburbs and he was staying in town. He insisted that he pick me up. Oookay.
    The conversation was so stilted and he was very judgmental. In talking about religion, he commented derisively about how I obviously don’t keep kosher since I ordered chicken quesidillas, and suggested that my parents were bad Jews for not keeping passover. He talked about politics, which you never should on a first date anyways, and we were on complete opposite sides about basically everything.
    Unlike most guys who ask about my work (I control the space station damnit, its cool!) he just remarked on how weird it was that it was such a man’s field. And then wondered aloud that I probably wouldn’t be open to being a stay-at-home mom since I was overly dedicated to my career (because I defended my career choice when he snarked on it).
    It was so weird and insulting. He tried to stretch the date out but I said that I was tired, so he took me home. Totally awkward drive home because (I thought) it was clear that this was going nowhere. Until he tried to kiss me when we pulled into my driveway. I pulled away, thanked him for dinner, and went inside.
    He texted the next day to say he had a nice time and wondered if I would be interested in a second date. In what universe would I be interested in hearing again all the ways that my religion, family, political leanings, dreams, and career are all sub-par? Yikes!

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      Desiree July 21, 2012, 11:38 pm

      I don’t really understand it when guys show further interest when clearly there is NOTHING there.

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      Eagle Eye July 22, 2012, 9:33 am

      Good for you for keeping your cool, I would’ve lost my temper somewhere around insulting my parents/ my career!

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        SpaceySteph July 22, 2012, 9:57 pm

        I might have been more outspoken, but he was my ride and I wanted to get home!

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  • Tracey

    Tracey July 22, 2012, 12:12 am

    Reading these made me think of another funny bad date I had.

    I met a guy through an online dating site. We seemed to click after a few weeks of e-mail messages and phone conversations, so we agreed to meet at a coffeehouse. We both met and began talking just as well as we did over the phone and online. Things were going well until, about a half hour into our date, he announced he needed a cigarette and asked if we could go to the back where the smoking section was. I said sure. He proceeded to chain smoke his way through a pack of cigs and down four triple espressos. The more he drank and smoke, the more hyper he became. By the end of the pack and the last of the fourth triple, he was talking so fast, I couldn’t understand him. And he began jumping up and down, like he was jumping rope. The barista asked me if everything was okay, and the entire coffeehouse stopped to watch this guy, who kept saying, “You know, I just feel like jumping!”

    I decided it was time to wrap this date up and said I needed to leave because I had an early day at work. He insisted on walking me to my car where, as I said goodnight and got my keys out to open the door, he grabbed me, pinned me to the driver’s side door and gave me a kiss that was like being swabbed by an oversaturated sponge that tasted like coffee and cigarettes. I stood perfectly still, not responding, and he stopped and told me I was a great kisser. Whatever…I sped off, leaving him in the parking lot as he lit another cigarette.

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  • MackenzieLee

    MackenzieLee July 22, 2012, 10:50 am

    I can’t say I have any horrible date stories (probably because I avoid dates like the plague for exactly this reason). I did have an ex who would alternately text me that I was a bitch or that I should come and sleep at his house just so he could be near me. Nevertheless, I was majorly creeped out

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    painted_lady July 22, 2012, 5:01 pm

    Oh, I’ve had several terrible dates.

    One was with a guy I met during my six weeks on OKCupid. He was in an open marriage, but I’m open minded and wasn’t looking for anything serious anyway, so I thought it might be a good story to tell at the very least. He was an artist, so we definitely had that in common, and we spent the first half hour or so talking about art in general…but then he started talking about his art, which was edgy, but not edgy in a way that I could enjoy – pretty graphic photos of himself engaging in masturbation and the like. Which is fine, but NOT FOR ME. I tried to hint around at some discomfort, but he seemed clueless, and so I suffered in silence (hint: if you’re talking about graphic sexual content on your first date, and your date isn’t offering up anything in response, STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!). I got out of there as quickly as I could, and then he proceeded to text me all the next day about, “Hey, what are you up to? I’m thinking about working on the table I’ve been building, but maybe I’ll just masturbate.” I was at work, so I couldnt answer until late in the day after many of these texts, but finally I firmly but politely said I didn’t think there was much of a spark. He replied he’d felt the same way (so why…? Never mind), and handled that pretty graciously, so at least that much was smooth sailing.

    Back in college I met this guy on the campus bus, and he seemed cool enough. It was the weekend of my 21st birthday, and I invited him to the party that my friends were throwing, because it seemed like a low enough stakes way to get to know him. He came with his two roommates, and early on in the night the roommates wanted to leave, and he’d driven. He didn’t live terribly far away, and he asked if I wanted to come with him because there was a Whataburger on the way, and he wanted to stop and grab some food. I love Whataburger (it’s a Texas thing – you MUST if you visit), and I was hungry, so I said sure. He drove to his house first, and he asked if I wanted to come in while he got something (you know where this is going; I was a moron and did not). I said sure, and of course the thing he needed was in his bedroom and while we’re there, oh hey, have you heard the new Staind album (STAIND!!!), oh hey, this song is dark and romantic, so let me try to eat your face and then pull you onto the bed, and finally I was like, “DUDE! We just met! I am hungry! I would like a cheeseburger! And the longer we’re gone, the more I am missing of my OWN BIRTHDAY PARTY I THOUGHT YOU WERE REALLY JUST TAKING YOUR ROOMMATES HOME NOT TRYING TO CON ME INTO SLEEPING WITH YOU LET’S GO NOW.” And he promptly began to sulk (which, let me tell you, that is so sexy and always makes me want to jump a guy but quick), so I walked my happy ass the five blocks back to the party. And then he SHOWED BACK UP. AND TRIED TO GUILT ME INTO COMING BACK HOME WITH HIM. Fortunately, the girls who lived there came out and provided backup in throwing his ass out. I got a couple of texts over the next week from him like we’d had a really great first date and he wanted to see me again, but I ignored them and eventually he quit.

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    • Budj

      Budj July 23, 2012, 8:39 am

      That first guy reminds me of an internet video I was “surprised with” by my friends…ew…if anyone has seen it the phrase “pow, pow, pow” will definitely alert you to the video I’m referring to.

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    musiclover85 July 22, 2012, 6:24 pm

    My “favorite” terrible date story is from just a few months ago…

    I was giving online dating a try and not having much success. But this guy suggested we meet up and I agreed. I figured it couldn’t hurt to go out and meet him.

    Night of the date, I have to work until 8 so we agree to meet at 9. He suggested a bar across town, so I have to take multiple subways and transfers to get there, but I still make it about 10 minutes early. It’s a drizzly night so I text him to say “I’m here” in case he was waiting inside or something.

    He writes back “Sorry, just got on the train, be a few minutes late.” Makes me a little cranky, but okay. He gets there 10 minutes after 9 and says “Oh, I think this bar is cash only, do you mind if we run to the ATM first?” So despite the fact that HE picked the place and we had scheduled 2-3 days in advance, he wasn’t prepared. That annoyed me. He also admitted that he was late because he got home from work and was being lazy in his apartment. He said “Yea, I had just started getting ready when I realized I should be leaving.” Dude, don’t admit that! Lie and blame public transit!

    So I’m a bit annoyed but these admissions, but we got inside and get some drinks. We’re waiting for a pool table to open up and chatting a bit, but it’s a very noisy bar. There’s a band playing in one part of the room, pool tables and shuffleboard in another, it’s not conducive to having a conversation. But we go, we play pool, we actually have a lot of fun once the music stops and we can hear each other.

    It’s really warm in this place, so he suggests that we go somewhere else. We wander the neighborhood until we find a restaurant to just grab some drinks. I order a house wine and he orders a mai tai. Not a drink I would expect a guy to order on a first date, but okay. So we’re talking and having a decent time. At some point he orders another drink and we start talking a bit about family. I ask how many siblings he has. He answers:

    “Well I have one sister who is a missionary in Germany. Then I have a brother. He’s got a wife and two kids, but his marriage is falling apart because he’s an alcoholic. Then I have another sister, she’s married and lives in Jersey with her two kids. But her marriage is also in shambles. Then I’m the youngest. What about you?”

    Needless to say, it wasn’t long after that when I realized “Oh my, look at the time, I need to go now.” So we get the check and I say “Since you paid at the first place, do you want me to pay here?” I didn’t actually expect to pay, but I figured it would be the polite thing to do since we went to two places. He already had his wallet out, looks at me and says “Are you sure? Okay” and puts the wallet away. So I ended up paying for his two mai tais and my house wine. (Only about $20, no big deal. I was just shocked he let me pay when I hadn’t ordered much.)

    When I told the story to a co-worker, one of the doctors walked in just to hear the ending. He said “Oh hell no, you can’t go out with him again. Tell him your doctor said so.” I took that advice very seriously!

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      GTR July 23, 2012, 12:37 am

      So to recap:

      He arrived ten minutes late, he admitted to being disorganised, he drank cocktails that you found insufficiently mainstream, he overshared slightly, and he took you at your word when you offered to pay for drinks.

      This isn’t a horror date – it’s just a date. What the hell is wrong with you?

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      • Budj

        Budj July 23, 2012, 8:31 am

        And this is why I always pay regardless of an offer…because you never know if they are just offering to offer… But then there was that one time I was accused of being chauvinistic after the fact when I paid multiple times in a short burst of dating. Can’t win!

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        musiclover85 July 23, 2012, 10:36 pm

        I go by the rule of “Whoever did the asking, pays.” But if we had spent similar amounts at the place, it wouldn’t have bothered me. It was more of the fact that my drink was $3 or $4 and he ordered two drinks at double that price. Yes, it was a cheap bill, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth.

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        musiclover85 July 23, 2012, 10:22 pm

        I have to say, telling me all of his family’s issues is a bit more than “overshared slightly” in my opinion. But to the being late and disorganized- I’ve always thought the first date is to put your best foot forward. Being late and disorganized is not best foot forward to me. I know I have a tendency to run late at times, but especially on a first meeting with someone I always arrive early. I thought that was standard protocol.

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        Rachel July 23, 2012, 11:35 pm

        I can see how those things, especially all in combination, bothered you. I think GTR was getting at the fact that that’s more of a probably not meant to be date than a horror story. Nothing wrong with sharing it though. I don’t think I’ve had any truly horrific dates – the worst that comes to mind at the moment was the pagan guy who told me that Thor was like, his patron god or something. That was a bit odd. And he was in his mid-late 20’s and lived with his parents…like, his weekend summary included multiple outings with them.

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      Addie Pray July 23, 2012, 7:45 am

      I’m with GTR. Sounds like every date I’ve been on. Except I’m usually 10 minutes late.

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    • katie

      katie July 23, 2012, 10:04 am

      just as an FYI, dont offer to do something unless you mean it… because, eventually someone will take you up on your offer. its really tacky to offer things just for “show”.

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        musiclover85 July 23, 2012, 10:28 pm

        I didn’t mind paying the money, in fact I made sure I had money before going on the date just for that purpose. I was just shocked that he said “Okay” so quickly when (1) he ordered more than me and (2) had more expensive drinks than me. Plus, I’m used to the thinking of “whoever does the asking, pays for the date.” I’ve never had a guy actually take me up on that offer before, even though I’ve offered to pay on most first dates.

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        Addie Pray July 23, 2012, 11:03 pm

        I’m with you on that. I always offer to pay – but 1/2 the time guys take me up on it. It doesn’t usually bother me because I think it’s fair. But it *does* bother me when 1) they invited me out, 2) they picked the restaurant, and 3) DEFINITELY if they spent more. So I’m with you on that, 27-year-old lover of music. (See how smart I was there?) But I do think if you thought that date was bad then you must be doing fairly well for yourself. Wait until you’re in your early 30s and everyone turns into shit heads. You’ll just be so happy that they are normal enough to carry on a conversation that you won’t care about their being late, oversharing, or being married…. I’m just sayin’.

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    londonlin6 July 23, 2012, 9:50 am

    Do not go on POF unless you want some pretty bad dates. The worst date i’ve ever been on, I saw a dead RAT on my way to my neighborhood pub I like to meet up for drinks at. I had been talking to this guy from online for a few weeks now, (with the holidays, we were not able to meet up) he was a teacher from the suburbs of Chicago (I will NEVER date someone from the Burbs AGAIN) and I live in the city, so we were meeting on a friday night. I told him that parking was going to be hell, but he said he would take care of it, so cool fine, our date was supposed to be for 7:00, at 6:30 he texts me that he is going to be late bc of traffic, and suggests meeting up at 7:30. I reply this is fine, then he texts “this is going to sound bad, but what is your name?” I was like “what?” then he says that he deleted the message with my name in it, and that i “should not give him shit” for not knowing it.
    I realize I should of cancelled the date, but anyways, he shows up at like 8:00, and I had been in a record store next door, where then he says “you didnt even get us a table yet?” he proceeds to tell me all of his crazy frat guy stories from college, and says that he could never be with a girl that was a lightweight, (which I am) that his ex was a HUGE irish drinker, and he really found that hot. He also had a creepy pedophile laugh. Needless to say, I practically RAN home in the snow to get away from him, and never talked to him again. Of corse now when I go on dates, right before, I tell myself “well it can’t possibly be any worse than that date” and I am right!

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    Jessibel5 July 23, 2012, 10:47 am

    I was once on a date with this guy who had never heard “The Final Countdown”! That’s my jam. Needless to say, there wasn’t a second date.

    Actually, no, it was just an eh date with no chemistry. But still.

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    Ginger87 July 23, 2012, 11:59 am

    I recently just ended a two year relationship. On one of our first dates, we went to a local pub and sat outside to do some people watching. A girl that resembled his ex-girlfriend walked by (mind you, at the time she lived nearly 6 hours away). He got up from our table, LEFT ME to go follow her. He came back 15 minutes later and simply said “oh, that wasn’t her” ….

    Because I was a complete idiot, I let it slide and continued to date him for two more years. (don’t worry – I’ve since found my backbone and would never tolerate something like that again). The straw that broke the camel’s back?? He came up with this elaborate lie about his grandmother having terminal cancer (she doesn’t) and how he had to go back to his hometown to visit her. He actually went back home so he could bang his exgirlfriend. Yes, the same ex-girlfriend from the first date. I cut off ALLL ties and haven’t heard from him since. Best decision ever.

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    bearcat July 23, 2012, 12:58 pm

    Go to http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/ IMMEDIATELY. Terrible dates abound!

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    CrabbyHamster July 23, 2012, 6:19 pm

    How bout some guy perspectives…

    Since separating/divorcing, I’ve been dating like crazy. Fifteen years of pent up frustration will do that and so I have a couple

    One bad date stemmed from every man’s fantasy – the hot girl next to you on the plane. I fly a lot and when I “won the lottery”, I vowed to make it happen. We flirted a bit, hit it off, and proceeded to talk non-stop for the whole flight, both of us laughing out loud and making a lot of dirty jokes about our jobs. Despite being in separate towns, we agreed we’d try a date when I got back to her town.

    And, before the bad date, the texts, the calls and the 5 dates that preceded were awesome. Epic, even. Lot of PDA, fooling around and good conversation. But, then that fateful Thursday night happened. She seemed under the weather and I even offered to stop, but she said “You’re flying out tomorrow, I want to see you”. Ok. We meet. We dine. We drink. We proceed to have ZERO conversation. NADA. The same couple who could talk for two ours about “Ground penetration permits” was silent. As the night wore on, I bluntly said “Hey, if you’re done having fun, just say so. I’m a big kid. We can end it here but I need to hear it from you.” She proceeds to plead that she had a bad day, that I needed to be sympathetic and understanding that as we spend more time together, one of our dates would suck. Taking her at her word, I said ok. Walked her to her car. Kissed her goodnight and went to bed. I made a commitment to myself that I’d give her space. No text. No call. When she was ready, she’d ping.

    That was two years ago. Oh well.

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      Trixy Minx July 24, 2012, 11:18 pm

      That was really rude of you to say that to her. I can understand why she didn’t want to message you again. She wasn’t feeling well but still wanted to see you before you went out of town. Obviously, she liked you enough to have you over when she wasn’t feeling 100%.

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    TheGirlInME July 24, 2012, 9:03 am

    Kinda late to the party, but I wanted to share this gem. I agreed to go out with a guy that was renting at my sister’s house at her urging. She insists that he’s a great guy. I was a bit reluctant because he was younger, but went ahead, because well.. he was HOT. So he shows up about a half an hour late and I say, let’s just keep it low key. We’ll go pick up some beer & a pizza & eat in. So, off we go. Me, the date and my little dog. We’re coming back from the beer store, and Date gets pulled over for running a stop sign. Date says, “Oh ***, I’m going to jail.” I laugh, “don’t be silly, you don’t go to jail for running a stop sign”. It turns out you do, if there’s an outstanding arrest warrant for a failure to appear in court on a DV charge. Soooo… Date gets arrested, his vehicle is impounded, and there I am with no cash on me to get a cab. (ATM card and ID on me, that was all.) I came home from the date in a cop car. Me, my beer, and my little dog, too.

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