Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread: I Like Memorial Day Like Flies Like Their Honey

Happy Memorial Day Weekend (for my American readers, that is)! I’ll probably spend the weekend eating too much crap and feeling bad about myself because of it, especially since I’m going to be wearing a bikini in public in T-minus eight days. I’m also going to finish reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which has been somewhat difficult for me to get into on account of the fucking god awful, atrocious writing. Seriously, I start reading it and I think about how maybe I should go trim Jackson’s toenails or clean out the litter box or something else equally productive but disgusting, which is probably not at all the point of reading an erotic novel. But, you know, now that I think of it: maybe it IS the point of an erotic novel? Apparently the book has sold more copies than McDonald’s has sold hamburgers and maybe the point is not to get housewives all over the world in the mood to sleep with their husbands again, but to motivate them to do things like trim their babies’ toenails and shake the crumbs from their toasters (so to speak?) just to have something else to do besides read another page of, “And then he pressed his thumb against me and I flushed.”

Anyhow, what’s up with you guys? What are your plans this holiday weekend? What are you most looking forward to this summer?

* If you’ve got a suggestion for a future open thread topic, email me at wendy@dearwendy.com.

52 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Addie Pray May 25, 2012, 4:06 pm

    I’m so happy that you find that book as painful as I do to get through. In fact, imma go try to finish it up at the pool Wendy, come join me. We can read passages to each other and laugh. (Nope, not weird at all.)

    This weekend I have: a Saturday hike at Lake Geneva, Wisc (didn’t go earlier this week), then Bike the [Lake Shore] Drive on Sunday, then a BBQ at Young Ball’s. And I’m determined to finish that freakin’ book too. Mostly because I have to return my friend’s Kindle (think I’d actually buy 50 Shades myself? No, silly) by next week (so if I don’t finish it this weekend, it’ll never get read.)

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    • avatar

      Witchmom3 May 25, 2012, 8:38 pm

      LOL good suggestion Addie, read passages to each other and laugh.

      I still stand by my theory that if 50 Shades had a “Romance” guy on the cover ripping some poor girl’s clothes off and the title changed to something like “Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down” no one would have bought it!!

      But I too have fallen victim to reading it because of all the hoopla. I’d rather live it than read it! Yawn

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    • katie

      Katie May 25, 2012, 9:48 pm

      My radio station did a feature for a little while where they read passages out loud and replaced the bad words with fruits and vegetables. Hilarious.

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    • avatar

      Christy May 26, 2012, 11:58 am

      My gf and I would read it out loud to each other. Hysterical but not at all sexy.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray May 27, 2012, 6:19 am

      Upate:
      *Still no progress made on 50 Shades – I’m stuck on 13. I keep finding other things to do like Facebook and text.
      *I hiked Lake Geneva! Everybody in Chicago and Wisc. (and I guess the rest of Illinois but I forget you exist), you’ve got to “hike” that beautiful like. (I put “hike” in quotes because it’s more like a long leisurely walk through manicured lawns of the most beautiful homes ever along the prettiest, cleanest, sparkliest lake ever, especially compared to Lake Michigan.) I did 1/2 of it (10 miles) yesterday, then had 2 beers in the sun, then had to bike the 10 miles back to the car. … My feet and ass kind of hurt today.
      * This morning is Bike the Drive in Chicago. You know, where they block off Lake Shore Drive and open it up to cyclists. I wasn’t able to find anyone to do this with me, so here I go, alone. …. Waaa, waaa. …

      In short, the weekend is off to a good start. Oh, and on the way to Lake Geneva I passed by a gazillion Super Targets. … And I want to share “Addie’s Favorite Things” with you: Meyer’s hand soap. Try it! It’s awesome. (Ok, that was just one thing.)

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray May 27, 2012, 6:19 am

        Meant to say, “I’m stuck on ‘chapter’ 13.”

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray May 27, 2012, 6:32 am

        Update No. 2 – Eh, maybe I’ll skip Bike the Drive and eat a breakfast burrito. … That’s better. Ok, carry on.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray May 27, 2012, 10:27 am

        Update No. 3 – Eh, I biked the drive in the end. So this weekend is off to a perfect start. I now everyone wanted to know.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson May 27, 2012, 10:55 am

        Can you have left over chinese food for breakfast?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray May 27, 2012, 11:05 am

        Yes you can, you just can’t reheat it. (One of my least favorite things in the whole wide world is reheated food.) So go for it. Besides, it’s dinnertime somewhere, probably in China, so it’s kind of appropriate that you eat the Chinese food for breakfast. And there you have it. I’m the most logical person in the world.

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh May 25, 2012, 4:20 pm

    I’m packing my apartment up. We’re moving on June 3rd. Closing hasn’t been finalized yet so we’re either moving in to a hotel for a week or in to our house, I’m hoping that we’ll figure that out next week. I’m dealing with this by being in extreme denial. And I work Monday because I work for a college so they give us certain holidays in December so we have off the entire time the school is closed for Winter Break. I keep forgetting it’s a holiday for that reason.

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  • BriarRose

    BriarRose May 25, 2012, 4:22 pm

    I think the best story I have about 50 Shades of Grey is that I was discussing it with my mom, telling her how poorly written it was, and she said, “Oh, your father read that and said it was the most boring book he’s ever read”. That was just hilarious on so many levels.

    This weekend will see me and my daughter hanging out with friends and just generally relaxing (she and I both deserve it!)

    And everyone remember to think a good thought about the members of the military, who are the whole reason we are celebrating this holiday. Think about all the deceased service members who, whether or not you argee with why they were fighting (in past and present wars), have nonetheless made the ultimate sarcrifice for their country, and by extension, each of us.

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  • Lili

    Lili May 25, 2012, 4:22 pm

    YES Addie and Wendy! I agree about that book being awful. Although for me, it just makes me hungry WHY is Christian so obsessed with whether or not she’s eaten? And OMFG being so helpless that one can’t even remember to feed herself. What is up with that. I always find ways to feed myself. Even if its just red wine, Lili does NOT handle hunger well.

    About this weekend I’m super excited to be celebrating my two best friends’ joint birthday Extravaganza! We’re going out tonight to kick start with just me and my closest friend, then tomorrow is a huge party bar hop/fancy dinner night. Sunday is a pool party BBQ all day kinda thing. And monday is Boozy Brunch. Hopefully I’ll be able to work on Tuesday. Cheers!

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  • Shell

    Shell May 25, 2012, 4:23 pm

    I’m heading to Michigan for the weekend tomorrow morning, excited to get out of town for a few days! This summer, looking forward to my cousin’s swanky wedding in a few weeks in Orlando, seeing family that I rarely get to see, moving into my new apartment in July and Chicago summer festivals.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark May 25, 2012, 4:37 pm

    I’d be ALOT happier about Memorial Day if we hadn’t just this week hit 3,000 dead U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan alone… It’s really not supposed to be all about BBQs, people.

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  • avatar

    GatorGirl May 25, 2012, 4:48 pm

    I’m spending the weekend taking engagement pictures and relaxing! Maybe hitting up a brewery or two 😀 Also I’m getting married in one year from today!!

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  • Crochet.Ninja

    Michelle.Lea May 25, 2012, 5:18 pm

    I totally want to read that book, but I’ve heard so much about the bad writing I dont know if i want to or not. And if I can just let go and read the thing without dissecting it.

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow May 25, 2012, 6:45 pm

    I don’t have plans. I wish I had plans. I also wish I had a pool, dammit.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest May 27, 2012, 1:29 pm

      Wine. Baby pool. I was gonna add a third but you don’t really need anything else.

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  • Lyra

    L May 25, 2012, 7:12 pm

    Oh I have nothing going on besides…MY BOYFRIEND IS COMING HOME FROM ABROAD THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!! 😀 😀 😀 He’s been abroad for 3 months (TOO LONG) and even though we’re long distance normally, it’s not cool that I can’t pick up my phone and call him. His flight takes off from New Zealand in 4-ish hours and then he’ll be on his way hoooommmme! He’ll be traveling for something like 23.5 hours, but since he gains a ton of time flying back, he leaves there at 3 pm New Zealand time and gets here at 10 pm Central time on Saturday. Crazy. If you couldn’t tell, I’m BEYOND EXCITED that he’s finally coming home. We’ll be hanging out here around my place until Monday and then we’re going to drive over to his place and I’ll stick around for a day or two. Then in a couple weeks he’ll drive back here and we’ll go up to our summer job to be together all summer!!! And then we’ll both move for our jobs next year and we’ll be within 75 or so miles of each other ALL THE TIME. Aaaahh, so much good change!

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  • Kristina

    Kristina May 25, 2012, 8:05 pm

    I didn’t realize it was Memorial Day weekend already (my school never gives us Monday holidays so I lose track easily) until I headed out for a few errands and hit really horrible bumper-to-bumper traffic both ways. It’s in the 90s where I am, and I would love to be outside all weekend, but I have to work on my finals projects all day, everyday. There is a huge jazz festival a few blocks from me this weekend and I really wish I had time to go to that.

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    • avatar

      iseeshiny May 26, 2012, 8:15 am

      One hour away from your desk this weekend will not mean the difference between passing or failing your finals… I’m just sayin’… 😉

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      • Kristina

        Kristina May 26, 2012, 4:38 pm

        Oh, I know. I actually went to a bar last night 🙂

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  • avatar

    Kristen May 25, 2012, 8:26 pm

    We’ll be in New York, touring wineries in the Finger Lakes all weekend (in other words being tipsy all day starting at 11 am!)

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    • avatar

      Something More May 25, 2012, 9:05 pm

      Oh, I LOVE the wineries up there!! I haven’t been in awhile, but I really want to go back soon.

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    • avatar

      iseeshiny May 26, 2012, 8:25 am

      Me too! Well, not in New York, but one of our friends just had his thirtieth and we’re all going to the St. Genevieve wineries. In fact, we leave in like two hours, and I’m morning-coffee DWing in my underwear because I don’t want to get dressed yet.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest May 25, 2012, 8:27 pm

    We were going to go up to Maine this weekend but didn’t so were making a stay cation. Killed a bottle of santa margherita sitting at a restaurant on the water. Great food. Great view. Happy memorial day weekend!

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  • avatar

    Michele May 25, 2012, 7:34 pm

    We are headed to Massanutten for a beer/wine/music festival. And horseback riding. Also, I am glad I am not the only one finding the awful writing to be a major issue in Fifty Shades Of Grey.

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  • avatar

    Pamplemousse Rose May 26, 2012, 12:41 am

    Our long weekend was last week so we babysat my nephews overnight, celebrated my dad’s 60th birthday and cleaned up our backyard from all the winter debris.

    I’m alone this weekend – my fella’s away for a work trip – so I plan on reading 50 Shades (finally got it as a ebook from the library wait-list) in all its awfulness…

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  • avatar

    Sunshine Brite May 26, 2012, 7:42 am

    I’m looking forward to graduating and getting my social work license this summer!

    This weekend I’m staying at a local hotel and going to a Twins game. Then might head to a nearby town tomorrow, still unsure. Then hw and chores and possibly something grilled Monday. I also try and remind myself to spend a few moments in Memorial mode and remember some of the people who’ve gone before me, especially soldiers. I’m not always successful but I try to be mindful.

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  • JK

    JK May 26, 2012, 9:34 am

    Here it´s a long weekend, as well (yesterday was a holiday), but the weather is far from nice… it´s been completely grey for the last 9 days, raining on and off. I hate autumn.
    Yesterday we were at my mum´s house for typical food (locro, empanadas salteñas y pastelitos for my fellow argentinians), now I´m trying to catch up on everything I missed on here yesterday, and I´ll see what awaits us for the rest of the weekend.

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  • avatar

    d2 May 26, 2012, 11:02 am

    This Memorial Day weekend, I would like to offer my appreciation to those who serve, both past and present, standing and fallen.

    While there isn’t a special day for family members and significant others of those who serve, your sacrifice and support is appreciated too.

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  • avatar

    Wendy's Dad May 26, 2012, 11:46 am

    Well, Wendy, your mom and I have been checking out petting zoos and “Tierparks” where we can take you and Jackson when you come next month. We also scoped out some wineries as well. That’s not for Jack, however. If we were back where we used to live when you were in HS, we might have gone to the American cemetery in Luxembourg or the one in Margraten, NL, to honor the war dead. Instead. we just drove around Unterfranken and got ready for grandbaby’s visit.

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow May 26, 2012, 12:58 pm

    So since I have no plans, is it ok to start drinking……….now? In my underwear? Some vodka with my turkey bacon and coffee? Or how about wine, a book, and a bubble bath? Whaddya say, DWers?

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    • Lili

      Lili May 26, 2012, 2:09 pm

      Go for it! Bloody mary’s count as breakfast 😉 And lets revive the Drunk DW thread. I’m sober, but always chatty!

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  • avatar

    WatersEdge May 26, 2012, 1:00 pm

    Whatever, haters! 50 Shades of Grey is the worst writing I’ve ever read in print by FAR but the things it has done for my impoverished sex life make it well worth it. There are time when I am just too damn busy or tired for sex, but reading a few pages of that book put me right back in the mood. It’s not literature, it’s porn.

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    • bittergaymark

      bittergaymark May 26, 2012, 1:17 pm

      Then maybe you should ALL just go buy some decent porn… Seriously.

      It cracks me up that women (and yes, I am deliberately lumping you all into one group as that one group made that lousy book is a SMASHING BEST SELLER!!!) are so desperate to get horned up that they rush out in droves to make shit like Grey a MUST READ. Although almost nobody I know thinks it’s an easy or even fun read.

      Really. Trust me. There is FAR better written word erotica out there… But instead everybody makes this total hack writer and her curiously judgmental, sex phobic book a success that demands movies and sequels so you all get caught up in what is frankly a pretty lousy message.

      Oh, and that message? It’s that being kinky proves you are fucked up.

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      • Lili

        Lili May 26, 2012, 2:17 pm

        Did you read Savage Love this week? I loved the letter where Dan Savage ripped the middle aged LW a new one for now wanting to get kinky, but her husband refused and Dan said that the only thing she really could do is go back to her 20s and give the guy with a few kinks a chance. I know I def will because life is too long for vanilla sex all the time. And I don’t think a guy with kinks is ‘messed up’ but I also am not reading this book for anything other than the funny sex scenes.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark May 26, 2012, 2:54 pm

        I did. I totally agree.

        Regarding Grey… Now, I admit, I only skimmed the book at a store the other day — as it is SO straight, not to mention so badly penned, I wasn’t going to waste much time with it, but I did read a lot of the end and was profoundly annoyed with it.

        PS –There was another letter on Savage recently — on his blog or SLOG as he calls it — all about Grey… It’s hilarious and of course echoes my own thoughts on the book which I why I like it. 😉

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark May 26, 2012, 2:55 pm

        PS: SAVAGE LOVE should be a MUST READ for ALL twentysomethings…

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      • Lili

        Lili May 26, 2012, 3:27 pm

        YES! I credit Dan Savage to opening my views on sexuality and sex shame/slut shame. I’ll admit I am totally a product of a slut shaming and sexually repressed society (family, extended circle of friends, society at large and my ex bf as well) who all perpetuated/reinforced this idea that women shouldn’t explore what they like sexually lest their number get too high. Its sad but up until fairly recently I too subconsciously believed and behaved in a way that almost confirmed this idea that women should just wait and be told what they like sexually by the bf/future husband. Because if I explore it myself, I’ll get too high a number and then be unwifeable and doomed to be single just because I was a curious ‘slut’ i don’t deserve a ‘good’ man.

        Listening to the Savage Love podcast and reading his letters expanded all that. I did occasionally have to take breaks because too much mind expansion is hard to take in all at once. But now, I’m back on the Savage Love Bandwagon and more self assured of myself, how I define sexual equality and in general more promoting of a liberated and equal sexual ‘sluthood’ to my close girl friends 🙂

        Oh, and a thought I had which I think you might agree with..do you think so many women stay in shitty situations because its ‘easier’ to deal with the Dbag they’re with than go out there and DTMFA to each guy who mistreats them, but then get a ‘hugely’ high number and have the small minded society label them ‘town whores’ thus unable to ever be deserving of a ‘nice’ man?

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark May 26, 2012, 7:42 pm

        I don’t quite know what I think of your last paragraph. I would HOPE that isn’t true — as it seems so ludicrous to me to think that way… But then people often do think in ways that I find simply absurd, so who knows? You could be onto something there.

        I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who has this severe Madonna/whore complex and he is a bit messed up. (You know, one of those friends who you aren’t exactly surprised is still single at 35…) Anyway, he went on and on about how this girl he liked admitted to having been with 18 guys and he was a wee bit freaked out by it. (He has been with an alarmingly small number of women, I think, at 4) But I was like” “Dude, wait? She’s 36, right? So basically that’s like one a year since she became sexually active? That hardly makes her a slut.” I mean it’s one thing to have 18 partners at 36. Quite another at say, 19.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark May 26, 2012, 7:44 pm

        Do you ever listen to the podcasts? He’s even more fun to listen to than read, I think…

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      • avatar

        Trixy Minx May 27, 2012, 11:57 am

        Ive been reading savage love for almost ten years! All my friends ask me for sex advice lol

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow May 26, 2012, 2:29 pm

        Yeah. I’m not reading it for those reasons.

        I think the only “erotic fiction” I ever read was “The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty” by Anne Rice as her pen name. Not bad, although I have nothing to compare it to.

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      • avatar

        WatersEdge May 27, 2012, 11:57 am

        So Bittergaymark… what written erotica do you recommend? I think a lot of women read 50 because they don’t know where to get the good stuff. Me included!

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      • avatar

        WatersEdge May 27, 2012, 12:45 pm

        “Mark Reads 50 Shades of Grey” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhWrsVlNgVo&feature=youtu.be

        This is HILARIOUS. the 2nd half is best.

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  • mandalee

    mandalee May 27, 2012, 3:37 pm

    Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone! I attended a wedding of one of our college friends to a Marine, so it was full of current and retired Marines, so I not only got to celebrate but thank some of our amazing veterans firsthand.

    Tomorrow I am off to Ochos Rios Jamaica for a very belated honeymoon, and I am looking forward to doing nothing all week but plopping down at a bar stool by the beach and drinking and eating everything I want. haha

    As for this summer, I’m most looking to getting some major surgery over and done with. I’ve obsessed over it, researched it, and I just want it to be over so I can put it behind me. I’m also pretty excited about my birthday (I love birthdays!). My birthday is 7/11, so there is always picnics, fireworks, and festivals surrounding it, and it’s hands down my favorite time of the year.

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray May 27, 2012, 5:01 pm

    Did you guys know that Easy Cheese is an excellent source of calcium? It says so right on the can. I’m stickin’ with that.

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    • katie

      katie May 27, 2012, 5:42 pm

      Ohhhh don’t betray your lovely cheeses by going to easy cheese!!

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  • avatar

    GertietheDino May 29, 2012, 11:27 am

    Friday – Dinner with The Man’s ex GF – she’s awesome and lives in Nepal
    Saturday – Creek Fest, dinner and movie with friends
    Sunday – Shopping (me), hockey (him), Captain America (had to be done, we’ve seen all the other Marvel movies)
    Monday – Watch other people run a 10K, 6 mile hike

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