Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread: “I Love You”

One of the most common questions I am asked in the letters I receive is, “When/how should I say ‘I love you?'” I’m not sure if there’s any other phrase that causes as much anxiety, except maybe, “Shit, I’m a week late.” And yet, it’s a phrase so many of us long to hear and, when we finally do, that first utterance is often etched in our memories like initials carved in a tree, reminding us that once, if not now, someone thought enough of us to take an emotional risk.

Drew and I dated almost eight months before he told me he loved me. (It was as I was boarding a bus to the airport after visiting him in New York for a week). Another boyfriend told me after only three weeks. And I had one boyfriend who said it only after I did first. There’s no right time or right way, though I once famously argued that a woman should never say it first (eh, I’m a bit more flexible on that argument now, especially when it comes to lesbian relationships…).

Anyhow, what are some of your l-word memories? How many significant others – if any – have you said it to or heard it from? Have you ever said it and not gotten a response? Or, conversely, has someone said it to you before you were ready to say it back?

* If you’ve got a suggestion for a future open thread topic, email me at [email protected]

202 comments… add one
  • avatar

    ChemE June 8, 2012, 3:07 pm

    I don’t know that I’ve ever had a dilemma saying I love you. But then I’ve only said it to two people, one was my first boyfriend and the second was/is my husband.
    My husband said it first, and somewhat under stress of boot camp in letters. He even proposed to me in a letter! Once I saw him again after that, it just came naturally. Same as when I realized I wanted to marry him, it just sort of happened. And by that point he had already asked a year or so prior, so I knew how

    I’m sitting in a day long meeting at work, getting ready for a weeklong workshop next week. I’m dying here. I can’t wait to get home! And get snuggley with my husband at the drive-in tonight. And have a drink.

    Reply Link
  • JK

    JK June 8, 2012, 3:13 pm

    I´ve only said it to one person (my husband) on our 1st anniversary dating… I actually wrote it in the card I gave him, then said it as well. And got nothing.
    A few months later I moved in with him, and a couple of months after that he said it really casually. I told him it was about time he said it, and he told me that he already had. SO ROMANTIC!

    Reply Link
    • katie

      katie June 8, 2012, 3:15 pm

      aw, that just means he was thinkin it forever before then… haha. he just didnt let you know about it.. lol

      Reply Link
      • JK

        JK June 8, 2012, 3:20 pm

        That´s a sweet way to look at it 🙂 He is one of the least expressive people there is though. At least he´s a bit better now (and probably says I love you back like 50% of the time haha)

        Link
  • avatar

    kerrycontrary June 8, 2012, 3:13 pm

    My now-boyfriend and I said our first “I love you” on New Years eve after about 4 months together. It sounds really corny…but we were at a bar and I leaned over to kiss him and it just slipped out and he said it back! It was nice because it was my first time visiting his hometown and his family. I’ve only said it to 2 people total, but I know that you can love different men in different ways and with different intensities.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    cporoski June 8, 2012, 3:18 pm

    Yea, So the first time My husband said I love you was the night he met me. We met through my Sorority Sister at a bar when I was 23. We drank alot and started making out (Because I am classy) and he pulled back and said “I love you. Wait, I can’t say that yet…but I love you”. No joke. He actually said it two dates later sober, too. we were smitten.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Muffy June 8, 2012, 3:33 pm

      That’s cute. My dad asked my mom to marry him on the second date. Sometimes these things work. That being said they were not in their twenties

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      amy June 8, 2012, 4:18 pm

      awwww!!!

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    bethany June 8, 2012, 3:24 pm

    I’ve said it to a few guys over the years, and I meant it each time I said it, although looking back, I loved them all in very different ways…

    I think my most memorable first “I love you” was with a guy I dated about a year before I met my husband. I met him at a bar, he was a friend of a friend, he asked for my number and actually called the next day. We went out a day or 2 after that, and proceeded to get very serious very fast. We met at the beging of December, and he told me that he loved me on New Years Eve, and it was really special to me- I was ecstatic! We had one of those quick/passionate relationships… it was over by March! Oh well 🙂

    With my husband, I knew almost right away that he was someone I could fall in love with, and a month or so into it I got drunk and told him I was falling in love with him. It’s funny, because for me “I love you” is pretty much the ultimate statement in terms of how you feel about someone, but for him, the ultimate is “I like hanging out with you”. The first time he said that to me, I was borderline offended…. Like, “I just told you I loved you and that’s all you’ve got?” But then he explained to me that you can love people you don’t even really like all that much, and he’s really choosy about how he spends his time and who he spends it with… So for him to say “I like hanging out with you”, it’s like the ultimate compliment. He’s so cute when he says it, too… He gets all serious and looks me right in the eyes… I love him for that, and I like hanging out with him, too 🙂

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    MissDre June 8, 2012, 3:25 pm

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and he still hasn’t said it. The most I get out of him is “Yeah… me too.” But, he’s very affectionate in other ways.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      HelloJello June 8, 2012, 3:43 pm

      “Yeah… me too” is better than “Oh, that’s nice” though! At least you know he feels it, even if he won’t say the actual words 🙂

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        MissDre June 8, 2012, 3:51 pm

        Yeah… I get really nice hugs and kisses. And I really like it when he puts his arm around my waist. And every Sunday night when he goes home after spending the weekend with me he always tells me that dinner was really good and that he had a really good time. So I don’t worry too much about hearing the words.

        Link
      • JK

        JK June 8, 2012, 4:21 pm

        yeah, it reminds me of Patrick Swayze in Ghost with “Ditto”

        Link
      • avatar

        HelloJello June 8, 2012, 4:33 pm

        Oh, Patrick…

        Link
  • avatar

    brendapie June 8, 2012, 3:27 pm

    My immediate family doesn’t verbally express affection so I have never been comfortable saying the words “I love you” or being openly affectionate towards anyone. I also take relationships very seriously and I open myself up to others very slowly, at a snail’s pace.

    This has resulted in guys falling in love with me while I’m still figuring out if I even like them. I know I should be blessed that men have expressed their feelings so early on but it has only resulted in a lot of heartbreaks and headaches. One memorable event was in high school with my boyfriend at the time who told me he loved me. I felt pressured somehow to say I loved him too, which I did but I instantly regretted it. I told him the next day that I was sorry but I wasn’t really in love with him yet and while I did like him a lot, I wasn’t ready yet for love.

    He took it well at the time but we went to mass later that day (catholic high school) and when we sat together he started sniffling and crying. All I could do was hold his hand during the mass but I felt mortified and very awful for making my boyfriend so upset. I promised myself to not say those words unless I truly meant them.

    Like ChemE, I also got a boot camp letter “I Love You” which was very sweet. I must have read that letter a hundred times although I haven’t touched it since the relationship ended. I had another guy send me a Build-A-Bear with a voice recording of him saying “I love you Brenda”, which was kind of creepy but somehow sweet at the same time.

    I have the classic LOVE stamps from 1973 (!!!) and the perfect blank greeting card from Papyrus stored away for a special moment. I hope to one day write a confession of love to someone special although I’ll probably have to keep buying love stamps to afford the rising postage rates. Maybe it’s cheesy but I think love letters are absolutely wonderful.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      MissDre June 8, 2012, 3:32 pm

      I am IN LOVE with Papyrus cards. They are so creative and beautifully made.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 4:17 pm

      Bear saying I love you. Yea, creepy.

      Love letters are wonderful. Any handwritten card is I think. I menmtioned this before on here, but I have saved every card I’ve ever gotten. I love looking through them every now and then, especially from people who passed away.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Lynn June 8, 2012, 7:30 pm

        In high school, I knew a couple and the guy got the girl one of those bears. They ended up breaking up when she went off to college (she was one year older than us), but they were still crazy about one another. It was one of those cute, intense, perfect high school relationships… anyway, during our senior year he ended up in a horrific car accident and died. She was incredibly heartbroken (I’m sure she still is), but she still had that bear… so he can always tell her that he loves her.

        Link
  • avatar

    lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 3:29 pm

    I’ve only said it twice, but meant it both times, so that’s good.
    Several months into our FWB situation, it came bursting out of my mouth during a passionate moment, he slowed down for a second, but then we kept going so I assumed (and hoped) he didn’t notice or didn’t take it seriously. Well a long time later, we became a “real” couple and after a great day with him and my daughter, we were at my place and he said “I love you guys, and I’ve loved you for longer than you’ve loved me.” I didn’t understand because I hadn’t even said it back yet. Then he told me he did hear it that time in bed. And then I said I loved him too (for technically the second time).

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Muffy June 8, 2012, 3:30 pm

    I told an ex-boyfriend that I loved him and he said he loved me back. And then a week later he said he didn’t mean it but he liked me (what a lovely lukewarm sentiment). So I broke up with him because I can’t go backwards.

    I was so angry at him but now I know that he probably just didn’t know what to say back. That being said we had dated for nearly a year at that point so my decision to break up with him was also because I figured enough time had passed and if he didn’t love me by then well it was just a dead end relationship

    Reply Link
  • Betsy

    Betsy June 8, 2012, 3:31 pm

    We had known each other for 10 years, but it had been about a month since our first date. After some sweet lovin’ I sighed “Darling, I adoore you” so he smiled and said “I can do you one better..”

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Christy June 8, 2012, 3:54 pm

      Love this!

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 4:37 pm

      That’s REALLY cute

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    *HmC* June 8, 2012, 3:33 pm

    Ah, the L word. Ironic that a word meant to express the most beautiful feeling that human beings are capable of would be so wrought with expectations and potential disappointment.

    Personally- I’ve been truly in love with two men in my life (one of whom I am still with). In both cases, I knew them as friends for several months beforehand, then ended up exchanging “I love you’s” within weeks of starting a romantic relationship. Once I said it first (when I was young and naive, haha), once he said it first, but both times it was immediately reciprocated. Both went on to be very happy and successful long term relationships. This is the context that I have for the L word, and I feel very fortunate. And I’m attracted to sensitive men (by my definition, of course). So for me, I have a very hard time imagining a man that I’d want to be in a relationship with who would put off expressing his love verbally. And I truly do think that not saying “I love you” after a year COULD be a sign that person is hesitant about their partner, or commitment in general. It would definitely bother me.

    HOWEVER

    I certainly can make allowance for the instances where people have some particular hang up about expressing themselves verbally in that way, and are still very invested in the relationship and their partner. See examples above, like with MissDre. She seems genuinely happy in her relationship and able to understand her boyfriend’s feelings in a way that she does not harbor resentment. For some, “I love you” may be equivalent in their mind to “you’re the one”, or something equally as serious. And if it works for the couple, then it works.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Muffy June 8, 2012, 3:35 pm

      I’m with you on the verbal expressing thing. I like to hear it. And I like being with someone that says it (and doesn’t take it back lol)

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      MissDre June 8, 2012, 3:35 pm

      You always have my back 🙂

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Jillie z June 8, 2012, 3:34 pm

    I remember fondly the first time budj said ‘I love you’ to Addie pray 🙂

    Reply Link
    • JK

      JK June 8, 2012, 3:38 pm

      Don´t we all, Jilliez?
      I just wish those crazy kids would hurry up and make it official, already 🙂

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 4:19 pm

      Shit, he said it to me? Did I say it back? $5 to whoever can find it so I can print it off and frame it in a not-pyscho-at-all sort of way.

      Reply Link
  • Kristina

    Kristina June 8, 2012, 3:36 pm

    I’ve said it to 4 people, but only meant it 3 of those times. I had a boyfriend that told me he loved me after only a month, and I didn’t know what to say so I said it back–and I sort of believed myself, until I broke up with him a few weeks later. I was immature.

    My boyfriend told me he loved me over the phone the first time about 5 months into the relationship. It was too soon for me because we had a major issue going on at that time. Then when I was ready, I waited to tell him in person. We’ve known each other a long time because he is a family friend, so our relationship moved very quickly at first, and I knew that this time, the love was and is real. All the other times I’ve told someone I loved them, it never felt as real since all of my serious relationships were such unhealthy and toxic ones. For those first 3 months or so, I was really, really sick and he was amazing during all of it. He knew at the time that the health issues I was having were never going to go away completely, so I really love him for sticking with me when it was the worst I’ve been so far. Now we’re just working on trying to end the distance for good.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    HelloJello June 8, 2012, 3:37 pm

    I’ve only said it the one time, to my fiance. He said it first. When we first started dating we did this really cheesy “I like you”, “I like you more”, and so on, thing. One night after I said “I like you more” he said “I love you”. And my response? “Did you just say that?” I’m so romantic. I did end up saying it back that night though. This is similar to our proposal story, now that I think of it….

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      bethany June 8, 2012, 3:48 pm

      You should prbably share that, too 🙂

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        HelloJello June 8, 2012, 3:59 pm

        Oh, the poor guy… we were spending a nice long weekend in Niagara-on-the-Lake in a beautiful hotel/resort place, and our last night there we went for dinner and he asked the waitress if we could take our wine glasses to the garden. We were in this lovely little gazebo, then he got all serious, came over to my side of the table, got down on one knee and said all sorts of beautiful things about wanting to spend the rest of his life with me, and asked me to marry him. And I said “Are you serious?”… Then I said yes.

        Link
      • avatar

        amy June 8, 2012, 4:01 pm

        awwwww… exactly how I responded too, “are you serious?” lol.

        That sounds so sweet <3

        Link
      • avatar

        HelloJello June 8, 2012, 4:06 pm

        I blame it on both the surprise of it all… and the wine.

        Link
      • avatar

        amy June 8, 2012, 4:24 pm

        I was shocked too, he had the ring, but I was still like… “are you serious?” sometimes things come out before we even know what we are saying lol. the poor guy had to ask again

        Link
      • avatar

        bethany June 8, 2012, 4:16 pm

        I’m pretty sure I said the same thing… But I was wildly flapping my arms up and down at the time!

        Link
      • avatar

        HelloJello June 8, 2012, 4:19 pm

        Now, when you say you were flapping your arms… was this in reaction to the proposal, or was there some other reason? Perhaps you were in the middle of an impression of a seagull?

        Link
      • avatar

        amy June 8, 2012, 4:25 pm

        I must say, I am a HUGE fan of your cat picture lol.

        Link
      • avatar

        bethany June 8, 2012, 4:48 pm

        Thank You!! That’s my one true love, Calzo 🙂

        Link
    • avatar

      ktfran June 8, 2012, 4:16 pm

      Adorable stories hellojello!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        HelloJello June 8, 2012, 4:45 pm

        Well, thank you. See what happens the day after an open, to be deleted thread. Brings the lurkers out of the woodwork. 🙂

        Link
  • avatar

    Caris June 8, 2012, 3:43 pm

    I’ve been with my bf for 4 years. I don’t remember when we said it or who said it first 🙂

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    steeze June 8, 2012, 3:44 pm

    my very first boyfriend) cried when i told him i loved him the first time. he joked that there was something in his eye to not seem like a complete baby… but it was a sweet moment.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Rachel June 8, 2012, 3:53 pm

    I’ve said it to 3 guys, and meant it each time, though when I think back my feelings were definitely different for each guy.

    With my boyfriend, it was about 3 months in. He started to say something, stopped himself, and said, “what the hell…I think I’m falling in love with you.” My response “Good”, kissed him, “me too”. Then we actually said “I love you”.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    amy June 8, 2012, 3:59 pm

    My ex said it to me first only a few weeks in. I have some really bad relationship anxiety so I didn’t say it back at that time and he pitched a bit of a fit. I eventually said it back a few hours or a few days later, I don’t remember. I will remember the smile on his face forever, but needless to say, the relationship failed. Eventually, I would say it, and he would say “I hmnashdflasfs you too…” lol. There was no “love” in that sentence.

    I will always remember the first time my fiance’ said it <3 it was the night before Christmas eve, he wanted to wait until Christmas eve but it just slipped out during a very romantic cuddle session about a month into our relationship. It was perfect.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    ktfran June 8, 2012, 4:07 pm

    I’ll never forget my first “I love you” from a boy. It was New Year’s Eve. We were both seniors in high school and had been dating since homecoming. A huge group of us were staying at a friend’s house. We were both in sleeping bags – separate – on the living room floor. He looked at me and said those three words. I didn’t say it back. Instead, I said “do you need a pillow?” We broke up a month later.

    My next boyfriend, my senior prom date, said I love you, I’m not sure when in our relationship. I said it back. Not because I loved him, but because I thought I should. I broke up with him a few months later.

    The next one didn’t come for three years later. I truly loved that boy. And I know he felt the same. There is only one other boyfriend I’ve uttered those words to. My ex-fiance. And I meant it.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 4:16 pm

      Your high school “I love you’s” were funny.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        ktfran June 8, 2012, 4:19 pm

        Do you need a pillow? Seriously? That was my response? No wonder he dumped my ass.

        Link
      • avatar

        HelloJello June 8, 2012, 4:23 pm

        I can’t give you my love… but here, have a pillow 🙂

        Link
      • avatar

        Matcha June 8, 2012, 5:52 pm

        I was in the junior leagues of insensitive I love you fails. In middle school, one of my BFF’s confessed he liked me. My response was, “…Okay.” Then I ran away.

        Link
  • Lili

    Lili June 8, 2012, 4:13 pm

    I love you Addie Pray. There I said. She’s the first person I’ve said it to all year ( not in the drunken OMG I love you! kinda way too) wow that kinda makes me sad about my life.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 4:14 pm

      Aw shucks! I love you too, Lili.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 4:13 pm

    Great thread! I’m loving these stories. I can’t believe we haven’t had this thread yet.

    I’ve got nothing to add. I’ve never said it, except to Budj on DW. I’m an “I love you” slut with my family and friends though. I’ve told girlfriends “I think I love him” about guys, but, that’s it.

    What you guys may or may not know about me is this: I have a very, very hard time opening up, intimately, and sharing my feelings. I know, it’s weird, because I am very clear about my feelings re: Joanne’s Fabric, cats, white wine, etc., and I am very open about bad dates with religious men I met on the el, bowel movements, and other personal things. But that’s the easy stuff. I’m working on this. I didn’t even know this about myself until I started seeing a therapist and Regina last year about career woes and whatnot.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      HelloJello June 8, 2012, 4:26 pm

      I have a similar issue… other than with my immediate family, I’m not good at sharing my feelings. I can’t even give people nice cards… I always go for the joke cards.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 4:32 pm

        I’m best at sharing my feelings with strangers so it seems … I’m *really* bad at it with my friends and immediate family. I mean, I can “yea yea I love you” but sharing my gut feelings? It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I’m not sure what my feelings are.

        Everything is wrong in me. But I can make people laugh. 🙂 And I use emoticons liberally.

        Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 8, 2012, 4:40 pm

        AP! I would like to share some gut feelings with you right now. Call me back. My life has done a 180 since the last time I talked to you!

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 4:48 pm

        Whaaa? What happened?

        Also, you do realize I can see that you prefer Addie over me, right?

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 5:21 pm

        Well, she friend-requested me on FB, so we were able to get to know each other better, something you keep refusing to do…. If you don’t friend request me, how will I ever really be able to tell that the tingling sensation in my pants is lust for you and not just the result of me playing with my belly button? (You know what I mean.)

        Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 8, 2012, 7:05 pm

        OMG absolutely not LBH! You’re like twinsies in my heart. I pretty much was unemployed for a horrendous (okay – fine – totally awesome booze filled week and a half) and now I have all these crazy opportunities popping up and I can’t handle it. I was looking forward to being unemployed until at least July.

        Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 8, 2012, 7:07 pm

        P.S. – LBH – remember when we used to fight and now we are kind of in love? Like the true, unconditional, irrational, DW love?

        Link
      • avatar

        HelloJello June 8, 2012, 4:41 pm

        Oh, I know what you mean… if someone asks how I feel about something, I go blank, and usually respond with sarcasm of some sort.
        And I think emoticons are quite helpful. Also, cute.

        Link
      • JK

        JK June 8, 2012, 5:20 pm

        I totally suck at that as well… my husband called me out on that the other day.
        Pretty much the only people I tell I love them often are him and the girls.

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 5:22 pm

        I wish I said I love you more to other family and friends.

        Link
      • JK

        JK June 8, 2012, 5:25 pm

        In spanish there are actually 2 terms for love: like you say “te amo” to your SO, and “te quiero” to friends, family, etc.
        I actually think it´s the te quiero that´s harder for me.

        Link
      • JK

        JK June 8, 2012, 5:26 pm

        And now I´m tearing up. Jebus I´ve been sentimental lately.

        Maybe us coldhearted people should do group therapy sessions together.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 5:26 pm

        Do you te quiero me?

        Link
      • JK

        JK June 8, 2012, 5:31 pm

        Pero obvio, AP 😉
        We share our love of emoticons!

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 5:39 pm

        love of emoticons and typos and… constructive negativity! haha.

        Link
    • avatar

      Caris June 8, 2012, 4:28 pm

      I was like that too, but with pretty much everyone, until I met my now bf.

      Maybe when you meet the right guy for you, you won’t have a hard time opening up? :S

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 4:43 pm

      I hope someday, when I am a real lesbian and you finally admit you are too and you’ve been watching lesbian porn all along, I can be your first I Love You.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    cdobbs June 8, 2012, 4:17 pm

    i said it first once by accident…i had been dating this guy (who was a total player i might add) and we were exchanging christmas presents (i should mention he lived in a basement, didn’t pay child support and smoked weed everyday)…anyway I gave him his present and then he gave me my present….a paint by number kit from WallMart! i was so taken aback…i meant to say i love it (the gift) but instead i said i love you…and he basically just said….ooooooh, thats nice….ugh! we broke up shortly after that when i caught him cheating on me! blech!

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 4:44 pm

      Did you uncancel your date?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        cdobbs June 8, 2012, 7:19 pm

        i’m still thinking about uncancelling…trying to do the right thing and get over the married guy…its hard…any advice?

        Link
    • avatar

      SweetPeaG June 8, 2012, 4:44 pm

      Bullet dodged!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        cdobbs June 8, 2012, 7:20 pm

        agree 100%

        Link
  • avatar

    MellaJade June 8, 2012, 4:18 pm

    I’ve said it twice in my life so far. The first time was with my first bf in college. We were on the phone and were saying good night and without even thinking about it I said “ok, good night, love you” and of course he wouldn’t let it slide. This would’ve been about 2-3 months in but for the life of me I can’t remember if he said it back. He must have.
    Anyway, the second time, my then boyfriend (who became hubby but now is ex-hubby) said it to me in a diner. Here’s the convoluded story. We had been out with work friends and as a joke, I had let a guy do a body shot off my neck (classy, I know). So after we had left them we were eating in a diner and he was telling me that he didn’t like watching another man doing this to me and I asked, ‘why not?’ (I was like 21, so don’t judge). He replied ‘because i love you’ and I was speechless. Literally. I became shy and couldn’t say anything back to him. But I got up, slid around the table and sat next to him for some canoodling. I was able to say it back to him later that night and I’m sure I meant it but I was just caught unaware.

    Anyway, today I’m dating a great guy and we’ve been together for 2 months now. We’re both divorced and in our late 30’s. I’m starting to really fall for this guy and hoping he’ll say it first…

    Reply Link
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle June 8, 2012, 4:24 pm

    I’ve said it to… 3 or 4 people? I used to be super-stingy with it, because I was afraid of my feelings getting hurt (so obviously, never said it first either)

    My current boyfriend said it after we’d been dating for a few months– we were playing beer pong at a party (ugh, I know) & he suddenly turned to me like “Fabelle, I have a terrible confession. I’m madly in love with you.” I sort of giggled and hugged him, as he explained further (which included more “I love you”s) and then finally went, “Is it a bad sign that I’ve said it already like ten times, and you’ve yet to say it back??” So I did!!

    (I’d already been thinking it long before that moment, but I just got caught up & forgot to say it back. Oops)

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      HelloJello June 8, 2012, 4:31 pm

      That’s cute.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      SweetPeaG June 8, 2012, 4:40 pm

      Adorable 🙂

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      amy June 8, 2012, 4:54 pm

      awwwwwww

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    jlyfsh June 8, 2012, 4:28 pm

    The only time I’ve said it and really meant it is with my husband. We had been dating for about a month and we both knew that we loved the other one by then. He wrote me a poem (I don’t get as many poems these days as when we first started dating!) and it ended with him telling me he loved me 🙂

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    amy June 8, 2012, 4:29 pm

    Anyone feel like talking about proposal stories? 😉

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      amy June 8, 2012, 4:51 pm

      I will start with mine, maybe people will join in. I am having a particularly rough day and can use some gushy reminising.

      Last November my fiance’ was home from Colorado for Thanksgiving, and I called him when I was on my way home from work, like two days before Thanksgiving. I absolutely hate checking the mail, so he told me to stay on the phone with him while I checked the mail box (I found out later he was timing my return to the apartment) to make sure that I picked up the mail. I came into the apartment, and he told me to go and pick up the cat because the cat was purring like crazy. I picked her up and was petting her, I didn’t notice the ring on her collar because she has long fur, so he came over, took the ring off of her collar and got down on one knee.

      As I stated above, my first response was “are you serious??” Then he asked again and I said yes.

      I always thought I would cry but I didn’t. I just felt like I couldn’t breathe, like it wasn’t real. I didn’t know what to do lol. I just started making phone calls and then the excitement began to build after that. Maybe I was in shock?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 5:00 pm

        I’ve always been afraid I will have what appears to be an unexcited attitude. I have totally lost it when friends have announced their engagements, like flailing arms, hysterical crying. I hope I don’t disappoint for when my time comes.

        Link
      • avatar

        amy June 8, 2012, 5:04 pm

        His family thought I would pass out, and so did I if I ever thought about it, but it was surreal. I don’t think anyone knows how they will really react lol. Hopefully it’s something you’ve wanted, I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t want to marry him. I don’t know how I would have said no if I wanted to

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 5:09 pm

        I’ve had to say no twice. Not fun.

        Link
      • avatar

        amy June 8, 2012, 5:10 pm

        OY! I’ll bet that wasn’t fun at all

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 5:15 pm

        Well, the first wasn’t that bad. I think I was doing him a favor and we are still best of friends to this day.
        I was laying in a hospital bed, with my newly born baby in the bassinet next to me, just the two of us. He came to visit us for like the 3rd time on the day she was born. Starts crying and gets down on one knee with a ring. Sweetest thing ever. He just wanted to give me what he thought I wanted because I was all alone. A truly amazing friend.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 5:18 pm

        The second?

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 5:20 pm

        Eek, the one I’m with now! I just wasn’t ready. And let me tell you Ms. Pray, that ring was Gi Nor Mous. But it was the best thing to do at the time.

        Link
      • katie

        katie June 8, 2012, 5:24 pm

        i had to say no once when i was like 7 to a ring pop.

        …i still took the ring pop though.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 5:24 pm

        Lol. Oh we’ve read your diary. You were a busy little girl.

        Link
      • avatar

        amy June 8, 2012, 5:25 pm

        Oh… My… God. That is adorable. Good job taking the ring pop though lol

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 5:30 pm

        You are awesome!

        Link
      • avatar

        Rachel June 8, 2012, 5:39 pm

        I was proposed to by a slightly creepy disabled old homeless man when I was in Vegas a couple years ago. I sad no. Wonder what my life would have been like…

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 5:24 pm

        Oh wow, so he has already proposed! I think you need to propose to him the second time.

        Link
      • avatar

        amy June 8, 2012, 5:24 pm

        It’s a good thing you weren’t sold on the ring = a love for someone. Some women are. The bigger the ring, the more the guy loves them. I grumble at that. So he proposed but you declined and you are still together? just not ready yet?

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 5:31 pm

        Still together, very happily. That was quite a while ago. I said in the deleted thread that I am finally ready to say yes 🙂

        Link
  • avatar

    Katy June 8, 2012, 4:30 pm

    I remember the first time I said it to my soon to be fiance…we were in the middle of our long distance portion of our relationship and I was just leaving at 5am to drive the six and a half hour drive back down to California to work. I remember waking up and thinking, I really feel like I need to say it before I go. So when I bent down to kiss him goodbye, I softly said “I love you” and he immediately replied “Love you too”. Best moment EVER.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Amanda June 9, 2012, 9:31 am

      Awwww this is so sweet!

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    SweetPeaG June 8, 2012, 4:32 pm

    Three significant others have I exchanged those words with. I have always been too afraid to say it first.

    The first guy who said it to me a few months into our relationship. While we were naked… which is always a little suspect for a first time “I love you”. He was my first real relationship. I was in my early/mid twenties, but very naive. I hate to say someone in my life was a mistake… but he was. It was a pretty bad four years, but I held on because I thought once spoken, love can’t be taken back. The further away from that period of my life I get, the more I realized how lousy and borderline abusive he treated me. I actually have no doubt he loved me. But, he has no understanding of how you treat someone when you love them. He had a terrible upbringing, so I understand where it comes from. But, it’s still no excuse. And about a year ago he tried to “get me back”. He said he still loves me and will still be waiting for me when he’s an old man. But, he is also a great bull shitter… that’s how he gets anything he’s ever gotten.

    The second guy was one of those whirlwind type of things. He was passionate, emotional, interesting, a little weird, and pretty different from anyone I’ve ever known. I knew it was wrong from the start, but I couldn’t resist letting myself fall into the disaster. From the start, I told him I am a pretty old-fashioned woman. I am really the opposite of anything cool. And I like things very traditional. He was the opposite… sexually, much more experimental than I will ever be. Fond of open relationships, etc. Me, the country bumpkin. Him, the experienced city boy. I think we both fell for the novelty of each other. When he told me he loved me, I loved him back and I said so. But, inwardly, I was screaming at myself that accepting his love would only bring us both pain. In the end, I broke it off with him after a minor argument. I told him that we would never be what the other one wanted. I missed him a few weeks later and tried to convince him that we should give it another go. It was kind of pathetic. But, he’s a pretty smart guy and told me no… we broke up for a reason. It’s still crazy for me that “love” can develop and end all in the span of four or five months. Right now, I know there are things I loved about him, but I don’t know if I loved HIM. If that makes sense.

    And the last one is my current fiance. He told me a few weeks into us being official. He told me that he didn’t want to scare me, but he is falling in love with me. It was outside of our local pizza place/bar. Our favorite hole in the wall. I have been friends with this guy for about ten years. I still wonder how someone so perfect for me hid right in front of my eyes. It feels so natural. And I feel so relaxed about our love. No more questions. No more distrust. I think I finally understood that whole “love is patient, love is kind” verse from the Bible. Love makes you feel GOOD. You don’t sit there worrying, wondering, and feeling negative about it. You rejoice in it.

    Woah, that was longer than I thought. I guess it was a thought-provoking question for me.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    evanscr05 June 8, 2012, 5:03 pm

    I’ve only been told “I love you” by two boyfriends. The first was a college boyfriend who told me after a week – freaked me the hell out and I didn’t return it, though he tried to convince me at one point that I did. The second was my husband, after two weeks of dating, and in the middle of, well, you know 🙂 We are such a good match, though, that even after two weeks I was dying to hear him say that, so it wasn’t weird at all.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      amy June 8, 2012, 5:06 pm

      awwww. when you know it’s wrong, you know it’s wrong. And vise versa 🙂

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        evanscr05 June 8, 2012, 5:11 pm

        Pretty much. Always trust your gut when it comes to love!

        Link
  • mandalee

    mandalee June 8, 2012, 5:19 pm

    I said it to three people, only one of which I regret.

    With my husband, we were dating for about four months at the time and were seniors in college. We tip toed around the whole I love you thing for awhile and it was driving me crazy. We were walking home from happy hour and I was a little tipsy. I kept telling him we needed to just “address the elephant in the room already”. He had no idea what I was talking about, which I didn’t understand (guys don’t read girls minds? what?). After some more drinking at my apartment with my roommates, I burst into tears and stalked over to him and said “The elephant in the room is that I love you. How do you not know that already?!” After laughing at my drunk girl outburst, he returned the sentiment. Not the most romantic way, but oh well.

    The one I regret is saying I love you to this guy where I can only define our relationship as the worst Dear Wendy letter ever. It was unhealthy and messy and never quite defined as anything. When I told him I loved him a few years into our “arrangement”, he told me he didn’t know what love was because he was never cared for as a child and that he may never have the capacity to love anyone. The next day I found out from a friend of a friend that had a long distance girlfriend for the past year. I called him to confront him and he told me that he didn’t love her either, so not to worry. Even at 20, I knew I was an absolute idiot for ever getting involved with him.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 8, 2012, 5:26 pm

      Aw how charming that he didn’t love her either. Man what an idiot!

      Reply Link
      • mandalee

        mandalee June 9, 2012, 12:36 am

        I know, right? I wish MOA was a phrase then. I would have needed it tattooed on my head.

        Link
    • avatar

      amy June 8, 2012, 5:29 pm

      The one with your husband is straight out of a rom-com. There is romance there AND hilarity. I love it.

      The elephant in the room is that I love you!!!

      I love it 🙂

      Reply Link
      • mandalee

        mandalee June 9, 2012, 10:25 am

        Thanks! I was a pretty dramatic and over the top when I drank in college, so I don’t know my husband put up with me haha He still brings says it when we argue sometimes to break the tension, and we both end up laughing.

        Link
  • rawkmys0cks

    Sarah June 8, 2012, 5:28 pm

    I was the one to say I love you to my boyfriend first, even though I had always told myself I wouldn’t be the first one, but in this case I had been dying to say it for over a month, and I couldn’t take it anymore. It was exactly two months since we made our relationship official (three months since our first date), and we were lying naked in bed, cuddling. I started giggling really nervously because I knew that I had to say it right then, but it took me a couple minutes of weird nervous giggling before I could get up the nerve. He asked me what I was laughing about and I said “I’m laughing because I have to tell you something.” He said “go ahead” because obviously he knew what it was…and when I said it, it was one of the best moments ever. He said it back immediately, got the biggest grin on his face, embraced me and whispered the words into my ear over and over. It was like, seriously beautiful, and I still get gushy thinking about it.

    We’ve since discussed how we fell in love with each other, and we both say that it started on the night we met.

    Reply Link
  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny June 8, 2012, 5:50 pm

    I’m loving these stories!
    I have actually never told anyone, aside from my family members, that I love them. And no guy has ever said it to me. I’ve also never felt in love with any of the guys I’ve dated, even the 1 relationship I have been in (which lasted a year). I just never felt it, so I never had any reason to say it, and none of them ever said it to me. I mean, I’ve been very fond of and cared deeply about some of these guys (especially the 1 ex bf) but that’s as far as it went. I dunno. Now I feel left out.

    Reply Link
    • Lili

      Lili June 8, 2012, 6:07 pm

      I love having you as my new FB friend!

      Too soon/creepy?!

      Reply Link
      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny June 8, 2012, 6:27 pm

        Naw!
        I love that we’re FB friends too! 🙂 We should FB chat sometime.

        Link
  • avatar

    Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 5:53 pm

    Heree Heree (how do you spell that?),

    I am not moving to Charlotte. I am not taking that job. I am taking a job in Chicago. I’m staying in Chicago. I am. That’s what I’ve decided. For real this time. Carry on.

    From AP.

    Reply Link
    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny June 8, 2012, 5:59 pm

      Hear ye, hear ye?

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Caris June 8, 2012, 6:07 pm

      Did the fabric factory thing (?) in Charlotte scare you out?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 8, 2012, 6:11 pm

        That and the horrible date with the North Carolina religious freak from the el. To his credit, he wasn’t “loud” about it. Just calmly said he is part of an organization that excludes women and minorities. There, that’s the nicest thing I can think of to say. So, those two things did not paint a good picture. But then there was an offer that came in this morning what was TOO GOOD TO REFUSE. SO I REFUSED TO REFUSE IT. But I haven’t accepted it yet. But I’m boldly declaring Chicago and then seeing how I feel about it in the aftermath. That’s what my therapist told me to do.

        Link
      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny June 8, 2012, 6:28 pm

        That sounds awesome!
        Er, the job, not the dude.

        Link
      • avatar

        Witchmom3 June 8, 2012, 9:19 pm

        That’s awesome! Go with your intuition and don’t over think it. Good luck!

        Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray June 9, 2012, 9:09 am

      Nope, it’s official, moving to Charlotte.

      Reply Link
      • katie

        katie June 9, 2012, 9:19 am

        wait for real?

        you cant keep switching this its driving me crazy!! lol

        Link
    • avatar

      Amanda June 9, 2012, 9:41 am

      Congratulations AP!

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Susanne June 8, 2012, 6:23 pm

    My now ex took a long time to tell me. When he finally did, what he said was “I love Downton Abbey. And I love you.”
    I cried. Not only because he loved me, but also because he loved downton abbey!
    It turned out we weren’t right for one another, but I still love him, as a friend. And he does me. (And downton abbey …)

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Lindsay June 8, 2012, 6:54 pm

    I’ve never said it to anyone. Well, I don’t know. I had a boyfriend while studying abroad, and he said it, and I said it back. But I’m pretty sure it was in an “I care about you” way. At least, on my end. Regardless, we’d already established that our relationship was ending when we both went back to our countries, so no harm done, either way. Plus, it was in German (and neither of us is German), so it felt like it didn’t count.

    I’m not super comfortable saying it to anyone, really, except my mom. At least, without prompting. I think because a large portion of my family members don’t say it ever, so it feels awkward. So, I’m pretty sure it’s going to have to be the dude who says it first when I get into a serious relationship.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Lynn June 8, 2012, 7:42 pm

    Umm I’ve kind of said it once. Yesterday in the deleted thread, I wrote this long thing about how I’m hopelessly still in love with my ex. Sometime last year when we were on again, I said, “I think I probably love you.” I obviously loved him, but for whatever reason I can’t say, “I love you” to a boyfriend. I can say it no problem to my family and friends, and I actually say it a lot, but not to guys I’m dating. I’ve been told “I love you” before by other guys… I just never said anything back I guess.

    So yeah, the closest I’ve come is, “I think I probably love you.” And right after I said it, I told him not to say anything… so he didn’t.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Anna June 8, 2012, 7:50 pm

    My most recent ex is the only guy I’ve ever been on an “I love you” basis with. Not long after we started dating (don’t know how many “dates” because we basically spent every day together), we were getting hot and heavy in the back of my Jeep and he just suddenly said it. I still remember the elated feeling I had in my heart when I heard it, because I got that feeling every single time he said it over 9 years. I was head over heels for him. And of course I said it back, and we basically said it every day after that for 9 years.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Witchmom3 June 8, 2012, 8:52 pm

    I have a hard time saying “I love you” – “love you” yes, but “I love you” – Yikes! Anyway, my husband said it like on the second or third date. Me, it was close to a year later. We’ve been married for decades and I’m glad he loved me enough to wait till I was ready to say it.

    Same thing with my son. His theory was that girls went psycho when told “I love you” (we had to take a TRO on one in particular) so after that episode, he vowed never to say it until he proposed. Fortunately (thank you God) he met an amazing girl (I loved her at first sight) and she waited THREE years. One day he took her to Catalina Island, got down on one knee and proposed. That was three years ago and to this day she says she doesn’t know what was more shocking, hearing him say “I love you” or “Will you marry me?” LOL

    On a side note, I’ve had several of my attorneys tell me they love me – HAHAHA, hey, after working long hours, you’re their right hand (wo)man and you become comfortable with each other, it’s not surprising. They mostly all occurred after phone conversations telling them their deadlines, calendar schedule, updates, etc. and then they do the “Geez, what would I do without you! Ok, thanks, love you, bye” Hahahaha, awkward, but it’s happened so many times, with several of them, that I don’t bring it up.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Something More June 8, 2012, 11:38 pm

    Me: I really like you.
    BF: I really like you, too.
    pause
    Me: I think I’m falling in love with you.
    BF: You’re falling or you are in love with me?
    Me: I’m in love with you.
    BF: I’m in love with you.

    This was at around 4 months after we started dating. I call him my HB. It stands for Honey Bear – something my best friend came up with that kind of stuck.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    quixoticbeatnik June 9, 2012, 12:24 am

    Well, I don’t have a cute story, but my story is kinda funny. I knew I loved my current bf when we had been dating about 8 months, but I didn’t say it to him until just before my birthday 4 or 5 months later, because I had to work up the courage to say it. He didn’t say it back, but I hadn’t expected him to, because I knew what his feelings were on love, and that he had never said it to any past gfs before – and I hadn’t said it to anybody I dated before, either.

    Anyways, when we had been dating about a year and a half or so, I had been talking to one of my friends on his FB account and had said goodbye with an “I love you!” He saw it later and freaked out because he thought he had said it and forgot or something, but then realized it was me.

    So then I was like “well, if you had said it to me….would you have meant it?” And he was like “what are you talking about, I’ve said it to you twice before” – OOPS. Apparently I didn’t hear him both times. In my defense, I am hearing-impaired and he has a tendency to talk to me when I can’t really understand him all that well, like when I’m driving or something, but still – to miss an “I love you” TWO times? Embarrassing. I tried to play it off like, “oh right, I figured you had…”

    Now we say it regularly. Not all the time, just once in a while, because I feel like it cheapens the sentiment when I say it all the time. I’m more of an “affectionate actions” kind of person than a verbal person. Five love languages, y’all!

    Reply Link
    • AnotherElle

      Laura June 9, 2012, 12:40 am

      Aw, I think that IS a cute story 🙂

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    bilbette June 9, 2012, 12:29 am

    Okay, the timing for this topic was too good for me to not post!

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two months now. About two weeks ago, we were lying on the floor of his apartment cuddling when he pulled back, got very shy and awkward, and told me he loved me. I panicked and stared at him for a minute (but felt like an eternity), trying to come up with something to say that was less pathetic and more appropriate than “Thank you”. I think I managed to blurt out something about how I really liked him, but that it was still too early for me.

    Since then, I’ve felt myself falling for him, and I almost feel ready to tell him. His birthday is about a week away; would that be a good time if I’m ready?

    Reply Link
  • AnotherElle

    Laura June 9, 2012, 12:35 am

    Wow, this thread makes me feel like an “I love you” whore…Granted, it took me a long long time to really understand what it means (romantically speaking), and I’m still figuring some stuff out. I have never said it first, but have said it back when I should not have. To the ones I actually meant it, I have meant it in all pretty different ways.

    I remember one person, who I dated off and on for 4 years, said it ONCE, after about 3 years. It was the night after my 21st birthday I believe, and I was visiting him in Chicago. We had a lot of champagne the evening before, and woke up a little hungover. While still in bed, he whispered it in my ear. I should have been elated, but we just didn’t have that kind of relationship. It was sweet, but unexpected. We never mentioned it again. Heh, and I believe it was that night or the night after we went out and I had waaaaaaay too much to drink and spent that night naked on the bathroom floor, crying hysterically while I periodically barfed into the toilet. Not one of my finest moments. I will never purposely drink tequila again…

    One “winner” couldn’t tell me properly, so he kept saying “olive juice” because your lips move the same. He was pretty wasted when he finally said I love you. Heh, that was also an interesting night for other people in the apt. I also should have known then that things weren’t going to end so well.

    My most recent ex said it to me while we were in my driveway, in his car. I could tell it took a lot of courage for him to do so. I wasn’t ready to say it back at that point (about 3/4 months after we met, a couple months after we were official), so I just gave him a huge hug. It took me about a month or so to say it back, but it kind of just popped out at random. It took another few months for me to truly feel it, in a whole new way.

    Reply Link
  • Lyra

    L June 9, 2012, 1:40 am

    I want to chime in here because tonight I had a nice reminder about just how much I love my boyfriend. He’s here at my place so we can play the music for our friend’s wedding tomorrow and then head up to our summer job early next week. We went to the Twins/Cubs game tonight (he’s a huge Cubs fan, I’m a huge Twins fan) and had some awesome conversations on the way to and from the game. I think I’ve been so stressed out about all the changes that have been happening in my life that I’ve taken him for granted the past couple months. I haven’t been seeing the big picture lately. I’m a very lucky girl. He loves to cuddle and gives the BEST hugs. I can talk to him about anything. He is loyal and dedicated to me. He loves me very much. And he will drive in the city because I HATE it. 🙂

    OK, I’m done bragging. I’m going to go cuddle with my guy. 🙂 Have a great night everyone!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Amanda June 9, 2012, 9:58 am

    Of the two people that I have dated in my life, my ex-boyfriend and my fiance, I have said I love you countless times. I don’t remember who said it first or when it was said in either relationship. The relationships, and the love that I feel/felt, are so different that it’s impossible to compare the feelings. I’m just happy that I can share my life with my fiance, my dearest love and favorite person on the planet.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Christy June 9, 2012, 11:29 am

    So I’ve only said it to my gf, after 3 months of dating.

    We were out for St. Patrick’s Day, and we were both drunk. She was drunker than I was but we were both pretty far gone. We were making out on a park bench (did I mention the alcohol) and she starts talking about how wonderful I am, things like “God, you’re amazing” and the like, and at one point she says “I love you” and then immediately says something like “Oh shit, don’t count this, I didn’t want to say it for the first time when drunk.” I just smiled and kissed her, since I didn’t want to count it either, but I felt great knowing that’s how she felt. (By this point, I’d been thinking it about her for a long time, but didn’t know how to say it, didn’t know if it was too early, etc, etc.)

    So we cab back early to the hotel room (that we’re splitting with FOUR other people) and fall asleep. Around 2 am, my BFF from high school and the other 3 get back. My BFF starts puking in the bathroom and I make the boy clean it up. (I’m really really not good with vomit. I’m not a sympathy spewer, but the reason I don’t get too drunk is because I HATE vomiting.) So I’m watching all this take place, and I know I have to say “I love you” back to my gf (since I’d been thinking it and she’d said it, I was just waiting until we were sober/it was the right time). I wake my gf up, and say something like “Listen, I need to tell you this. You know how I know I live you? Because I totally wouldn’t mind cleaning up your vomit, and I won’t even clean up [BFF]’s vomit. So I love you.” (I am incapable about saying anything serious without some painfully awkward and long lead-up.) And she smiles, kisses me, and says “I love you too.”

    Come to find out she doesn’t remember saying “I love you” drunk on the park bench. So it’s like neither of us had to say it first? IDK, I think it’s a pretty good story.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Christy June 11, 2012, 10:02 am

      She was kind enough to remind me that I also wrote her an epic note on her phone about how she said I love you and how I hoped she remembered and how I really wanted her.

      BECAUSE SHE CHECKS DW, GUYS. THE JIG IS UP.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Christy June 11, 2012, 10:10 am

        BTW gf, should you be reading this, I really would love to know the origin of the phrase “the jig is up.”

        Link
  • avatar

    Woman of Words June 9, 2012, 12:15 pm

    My best friend and I live on different continents. We always joked that if we ever managed to meet up and both our love lives still majorly sucked then we would get together.
    You can probably guess – we met, and yes, since our love lives were non-existent, we spent a passionate 4 days and nights together. At one point, lying in the darkness together, I just couldn’t help myself and said, ‘Don’t freak out, but I love you’. He was great, very tender and not dismissive but didn’t reciprocate (I think I would have freaked if he had!).
    Fast forward a couple of years, back to our normal lives on separate continents, still sharing everything… He had been telling me for some time he had something to tell me. I had no idea and when he finally did say ‘I love you’ I was speechless and momentarily scared for what it meant to our relationship. Quickly followed by elation, and that has not changed to this day, more than a year later, still on different continents. He’s still my best friend, too. So now we say it every day, multiple times. ☺ We’re making plans to be on the same continent permanently.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Man of Words June 9, 2012, 2:38 pm

      I wasn’t freaked out when she told me, but I was surprised, and very happy. Our first four days together were wonderful and something I’ve never regretted. I would have loved to have been able to say ‘I love you’ back, but the timing wasn’t right and I didn’t want to raise hopes or be misleading. I waited a couple more years until I could no longer resist it and have never looked back. Because the great oceans and life separate us, most of the time we only have words to share. I can never say I love you to her enough, sometimes it’s all I can say I’m so overwhelmed by her love for me and the length of our separation. We had a fantastic three weeks together in January which confirmed everything that I feel and hoped for. We won’t see each other again until December, and although I can’t bear us being apart, I know that we when can be in each other’s arms again, the pain of waiting will evaporate and every second will last forever.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Witchmom3 June 9, 2012, 4:02 pm

        THIS. LOVE!!

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 9, 2012, 4:29 pm

        Aw, my god you two are killing me! But now I’d like to know: how did you meet? why are you on different continents? why do you have to wait until December? i’d like you to be together now! do you think i should move to Charlotte? are there any Babies of Words?

        Link
      • avatar

        Man of Words June 10, 2012, 3:50 am

        Addie,
        I have no experience of either Carolina nor Chicago, but given the song ‘Sweet Home Chicago’ and me being a big Blues and the Blues Brothers fan, I’d say Chicago.
        As for us, we met through a website for creative people and have known each other for nearly five years now. So like many people, the internet introduced us but our mutual interests drew us together, even though we’re about as far apart as you can get and still be on the same planet. 🙂 We have to wait for December because of holidays, but we’ll have a few wonderful weeks together, which isn’t enough but is better than nothing. It’s difficult to have a relationship like this, so it’s important to appreciate what you do have, while working to minimise what you don’t. We talk to each other almost every day and have a number of other things going on that tie us together and reinforce our relationship.
        We also wish we were together NOW!, but know we have to wait, which is hard work at times. There won’t be any Babies of Words (except in a creative sense) but it’s a lovely idea, and one we both would have like to have had, but that time has passed for both if us now. It will take at least another year for us to be together permanently, you’ll will know when it happens because the fireworks of joy and passion will light up space for a very long time. 🙂

        Link
  • fast eddie

    fast eddie June 9, 2012, 11:31 am

    During the post hippie sexual revolution of the 70s I said it often but most of the time it was just wanting to get laid or to express my appreciation for it. I love my job/home/car/cat/food/family etc. But to say those 3 words to someone of the sex your attracted to it has a different meaning and has the potential of endearing or repulsing, depending on the context and circumstances. I didn’t say it to the woman I eventually married for a few weeks and qualified it by admitting that I wasn’t sure what I meant by it. She too was uncertain but we both let it roll off our tongues. As time passed we came to realize that we how much we loved each other and wanted to share or lives into the future. It isn’t what you say at the height of passion but what you do over time that counts.

    A friend of mine went to the office of a plumber to pay a bill that was clearly over priced. As he was leaving the young woman that gave him the receipt said “I love you”. He did a double take and looked her quizzically. She then said “Well, I like to hear that when I get screwed”. They both laughed and he left smiling.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray June 9, 2012, 12:13 pm

      Any post that begins “During the post hippie sexual revolution of the 70s….” is one I want to read.

      Reply Link
      • fast eddie

        fast eddie June 9, 2012, 7:05 pm

        I love to relive those golden years but with more money. LOL
        It would be great to not make the mistakes of yore.

        Link
  • avatar

    Addie Pray June 9, 2012, 12:50 pm

    I A M M O V I N G T O C H A R L O T T E, N O R T H C A R O L I N A, P E O P L E.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray June 9, 2012, 12:52 pm

      W H A T T H E F U C K

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Trixy Minx June 9, 2012, 12:53 pm

      M A K E U P Y O U R M I N D. W H A T E V E R I S B E S T F O R Y O U. W E A L L L O V E Y O U.

      Reply Link
      • katie

        katie June 9, 2012, 2:33 pm

        E X A C T L Y T H A N K Y O U !

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 9, 2012, 3:38 pm

        I C A N N O T. I T I S I M P O S S I B L E.

        Link
      • avatar

        Trixy Minx June 9, 2012, 5:09 pm

        Y E S Y O U C A N.

        Link
    • MackenzieLee

      ColorsOfTheWind June 9, 2012, 1:10 pm

      One word: cookout. You will learn to love that place

      Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy June 9, 2012, 1:11 pm

      That’s where the Bachelorette is from.

      You’re going to love it!

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      jlyfsh June 9, 2012, 1:17 pm

      yay! the weather is gorgeous in the carolinas today! let me know when you’re up for a trip to the beach!

      Reply Link
    • katie

      katie June 9, 2012, 2:32 pm

      yesss!!! im excited!!!

      but can i ask, why the switch?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 9, 2012, 2:52 pm

        Well, two things: I had dinner with a friend who used to work at the place in Chi and said horrible, horrible things. Plus, my friend in Charlotte said the men to women ratio is 2 to 1 on account of all the NYC and Boston banker transplants. … Those poor lonely guys.

        Link
      • katie

        katie June 9, 2012, 2:55 pm

        haha nice!!

        you will love it, im sure. ive been to the “south” (south and north carolina) three times now and each time it was amazing. the people there are just so nice. ah, case in point- at my boyfriends brothers wedding I had to get some dowels at hobby lobby. as i was checking out, the lady in front of me let me go in front of her because I only had one thing (she only had like, 5…). ive never had that happen to me in new york or chicago, and even very rarely in denver. southern hospitality, ya know?

        oh, and, the best farmers market ive ever been to was in north carolina.

        im excited for you!

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 9, 2012, 2:59 pm

        But, like, I don’t know.

        Link
      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo June 9, 2012, 4:48 pm

        OH MAN. Think of the adventure, Addie! I’ll have to come visit you.

        Link
      • katie

        katie June 9, 2012, 4:59 pm

        exactly!! get an adventure book like in UP and fill it up with your new southern experiences!!

        Link
      • avatar

        painted_lady June 10, 2012, 2:44 pm

        Addie, seriously, I know you’ve got this idea of Southerners, or at least people who live in the South (because in most major cities ANYWHERE, the people who live there are not from that city), but two points I want to make:

        – Southerners, in my experience, are neither inherently more awesome nor inherently less so than people from elsewhere. They are inherently people, and that’s all I can say about it in any real way. There are assholes, but I’m pretty sure Chicago has those, too. I mean, the guy you had the one date with – not saying he wasn’t awful, but I doubt he’s the only bad date you’ve ever had, right? Plus, think of all the awesome Southerners on DW…we’re not the only ones, trust.

        – A lot of where you’re getting your ideas about the South is from Hollywood, of course, which does a really good job of lumping people into categories. “Normal” people are from LA and NY, and sometimes Chicago. New Englanders are stoic and pragmatic, midwesterners are overly nice, and southerners are stupid. I’m not saying that’s all you’ve seen, but it informs how you look at different parts of the country.

        Link
      • avatar

        painted_lady June 10, 2012, 3:00 pm

        Oh, and also, big cities? Pretty similar everywhere, in my experience. You find someone who loves that city, and you get them to show you around. I’ve heard so many people say how they hate Houston – the traffic sucks and the city stinks, but then if I get the chance, I talk about all the culture (more theatre seats than any city except NYC, great live music scene, film societies that have film festivals in the summer and show classic movies in public any other time of the year, massive cultural festivals that shut downtown down every weekend for a month), the amazing food (any nationality, just name it, and we have the greatest Tex-Mex in the world, plus our gourmet food trucks out for lunch during the week and lunch and dinner all weekend), and then on top of that the stuff we have that no one else has (Johnson Space Center! Galveston – beach and historic district! Texas history out the ass!). And yeah, it’s sort of true that the city can sometimes smell, although no more than most major cities because of the pollution, and yes, oh my god, the traffic BLOWS, but every city has a downside as well. So if you end up in Charlotte, find someone who loves it to show you around, and you will, too.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 6:04 pm

        And btw, I know I’ve been hard on the south… you know, wondering if they were all republican and religious and stuff. Hey, some of my best friends are republican *and* religious, so I know that is not all bad. 🙂 And hell, let’s be honest: I’m from Missouri, though I’ve spent about 8 years in Chicago and feel like a Chicagoan, I spent my formative years in small town, missouri doing things like jumping off bails of hay and riding my bike down dirt rolls, sans helmet, and waiting for the ice cream truck to bring me one of those red, white, and blue popsicles that got mostly on my face and not in my mouth. … But, you know, I’m 33, and I think: well shit, if I have a hard time meeting men in Chicago, am I about to make it even MORE difficult by heading to Charlotte? But the thing I need to remember is…. this is temporary!! I over think things wayyy too much. You should see how long it takes me to order brunch.

        Link
      • avatar

        painted_lady June 10, 2012, 6:13 pm

        Hahaha! Well, if you don’t go, it’s totally cool, though I don’t think the people or the culture should sway your decision like the career choice should.

        Also, as far as meeting men goes? Painted Dude has never lived anywhere but the South, either. Southern men can be really kickass.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 5:57 pm

        Thanks, painted_lady. And thanks to everyone for your commons and advice and listening to me whine about having two great options…. It’s been all-consuming the past week. I’ve actually been sick over this – so I am sorry for dragging everyone down with me! Your comments have all been really, really helpful. Right now, my decision is: Charlotte. And I even found subletters to take over my lease… so this is happening.

        If Option 2 hadn’t presented itself last week, I’d be over-the-moon excited about Charlotte, exploring the SE, meeting new people, etc. But this other option popped up and was a serious distraction because of the stability of it, and the pay. I mean holy shit, I’ve never ever dreamed of making that much money. And I’m giving it up for a temp job in a city I’ve never been to because this could be an awesome career move, or one that falls flat. No way to know if I don’t try! …. So, the responsible person in me was pulling for Chicago. Especially because, though I don’t have kids or a spouse to support, I do support my family, and I have a sick nephew and so…. Well shit, I should pick Chicago. Fuck.

        Link
      • avatar

        painted_lady June 10, 2012, 6:23 pm

        Oh, other thing is, you found two jobs really quickly. I think that speaks to your talent. I think no matter what you do you’ll land on your feet, so do what sounds best to you, temporary job or no. Don’t like Charlotte? Something tells me you can go back to Chicago, or someplace else equally appealing, as soon as you want it.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 11:44 pm

        Thanks, painted_lady. I’d like to think it’s about my talent, but I’d just be kidding myself. For me it’s about 1 part luck and 1 part good interviewing skills (after lots of practice) – which is more about knowing what they want to hear and less about actually having talent! 🙂

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 7:10 pm

        I see your point but I just want to say: that guy I had the bad date with? He was here on business…. from North Carolina. Haha, so your point doesn’t really work here. But I get it….

        I was kind of thinking that maybe I’ll have better luck dating in Charlotte. My friend who lives there was telling me the ratio of men to women is 2 to 1. That’s a good start. Next, I picture all the women there being pretty and proper and conservative and polite and …. lady like. I was thinking there must be a market for the opposite. Like, think of all the dudes that want a girl who is the opposite of those things? I could tap into that market. 🙂

        Link
      • avatar

        painted_lady June 10, 2012, 7:28 pm

        No, that’s what I’m saying – yes, you had a bad date with a guy from North Carolina. And he’s the only guy who’s ever acted like an asshole on a date, amiright?

        And again with the stereotypes. We in the South live in the South. Not, you know, 1956 😉 We’re totally facebook friends now. Remember all the tea parties in my photo album? And the finishing school I have listed under “education?” The ladies here? Totally also just people. But your odds with a 2-1 male-female ratio sound pretty good 🙂

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 7:36 pm

        Hey, I’ve seen The Help. I know what *all* the south is like now. 😉

        Link
      • avatar

        painted_lady June 10, 2012, 7:44 pm

        Sorry, I’m being unusually argumentative – it’s kind of a pet peeve of mine, the Southerners-are-all-hicks-or-genteel stereotype. I try to argue it out, and really, it’s just like, “Hey! Knock it off!”

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 11:41 pm

        It’s like how I feel whenever people assume beautiful people are assholes. Some of us are pretty *and* nice.

        (I’m drunk. Lately, just ONE glass of wine gets me drunk. It’s the up-side to not sleeping I guess.)

        Don’t worry, painted_lady, I know I will love it and find lots of great people. I usually do.

        Link
      • avatar

        painted_lady June 11, 2012, 1:35 am

        Well, that I can categorically call as untrue because I adore you AND you’re stunning. Also, I deal with the same thing…it’s a curse, being this beautiful 😉

        Link
    • avatar

      Christy June 10, 2012, 9:13 am

      One of my best friends is from Charlotte! She’s a teacher there! It’s a really cool city. I think you’ll love it. And not just in a general sense, like you, Addie Pray, will actually really enjoy it.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Trixy Minx June 9, 2012, 12:51 pm

    Oh gag me now

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    mBookish June 9, 2012, 11:30 pm

    My current boyfriend said it very casually after two weeks. I was caught off guard and told him not to be crazy. Two months later, I said it after I’d had too many drinks. However, alcohol just coaxed it out, it’d been on my mind for two or three weeks.

    I’ve said it a few times to other people, but this is the first time I’m certain I do. We just mesh. I STILL feel caught off guard by it.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    vizslalvr June 9, 2012, 10:57 pm

    I can’t lie … it sorta bums me out the number of people who have only said “I love you” once or twice to another human being. And I’m not an old, grizzled veteran of love or anything. But damn. Really … you only loved one other person (or none other person) before meeting “the love of your life”? How do you compare the “love of your life” to nothing?

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Trixy Minx June 9, 2012, 11:20 pm

      This whole thread bums me out.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Christy June 10, 2012, 9:11 am

      Personally my gf is literally the second person I have ever gone on more than two dates with, and the only person I’ve dated for more than like a month. I also wasn’t really ready to date until after college–I had to sort my sexuality out first and then I had to figure out flirting and self-confidence. So yeah, I’ve only been in love with one person. But I still know that I love her.

      How many people have you been in love with? I’m just curious, I know my perspective is really shaped by my own experience.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      vizslalvr June 10, 2012, 10:12 am

      I’ve been in love with four people. No two experiences were identical but the failures of those previous relationships/semi-relationships taught me a lot about myself and relationships generally.

      I guess my comment was pertaining mostly to the people who have said “I love you” only to their husband or only to one other person before getting married. I have the total opposite reaction to all of the “squeee so cute!”, is all I’m saying. But I understand that everyone has different experiences, especially as far as dating and relationships go.

      Reply Link
    • JK

      JK June 10, 2012, 5:16 pm

      I really don´t get the problem… I am one of the people you refer to, it´s not like I lived in a convent, came out and married the 1st guy I laid eyes on. I had previous relationships, all different, but what I have with my husband (and feel for my husband) is far different than anything I had experienced before. And we have a great relationship thankyouverymuch.
      Should I have dumped him years ago to try and find someone else to love to have more points of comparison?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        vizslalvr June 10, 2012, 5:25 pm

        I just don’t find it super-adorable to have only said “I love you” to one other person, is all. Speaking from my own personal experience, I have found the experience of being in love with (and saying it, and having it returned – and not) several people integral to me knowing I am truly prepared to spend my life with my fiance. Not everyone would feel that way, and I didn’t say you should. I didn’t say that it means you don’t have a great relationship. I just think it’s hard to define the love of your life if you’ve never been in love before. Doesn’t mean you should dump him. Your (presumably rhetorical) question strikes me as incredibly defensive, however.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 5:52 pm

        You know what I find super-adorable? JK.

        You know what else I find super-adorable? C H A R L O T T E, baby!

        But in all seriousness, by saying you’re able to better able to “define the love of your life,” I guess you mean understand it, recognize it, appreciate it, love it back? Which I guess is logical. Kind of like, the more you date, the more you know what you want and don’t want out of relationships. Intellectually what you’re saying makes sense, it’s logical. But it doesn’t mean someone who marries after dating A SHIT TON is going to have a better marriage than someone who got married young, does it? I mean, I don’t necessarily see that trend. So really what you’re saying is that for YOU it helped to have loved before and/or lots. For YOU this was ideal, it’s what you needed to be able to appreciate your fiancé now, or something like that. But it would be really myopic of you to assume whatever you experienced is what others experience. I dunno.

        Also, C H A R L O T T E, B A B Y!

        Link
      • avatar

        *HmC* June 10, 2012, 6:51 pm

        I can understand why JK would be defensive; your entire first comment was about what other people are doing, not about what your personal experience has been and what works for you. I understand and appreciate your further explanation. But I agree with Addie- in my experience, it’s not the people who dated the most people who had the happiest marriages/long term relationships. Some people need to comparison shop, so to speak, to understand and appreciate their feelings. And that’s perfectly healthy and valid. But I think it can also be perfectly healthy to meet someone when you’re younger and recognize true compatibility and love when you find it. When you think about it, you’re just as likely to meet a truly compatible person when you’re on the younger side as you are when you’re older, it’s just that some people aren’t equipped to recognize that compatibility when they’re young, or they have growing and changing to do before they’re ready to settle down. But, people can vary greatly in this regard.

        Link
      • avatar

        *HmC* June 10, 2012, 6:53 pm

        P.S. And I think cultural/value differences can be a very major part of how prepared someone is to recognize genuine compatibility and healthy love at a young age, and be prepared to settle down at that age. Waiting until you’re older, like I said, is a very valid way to live (it’s what I’ve chosen for myself), but it is a decidedly Western, modern way to view love and marriage, which is not the only way.

        Link
      • avatar

        vizslalvr June 10, 2012, 7:03 pm

        I’m getting married in two months at the relatively young age of 25, so I agree that age doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with it. And I wasn’t speaking just to JK or to her in particular – there were several of people who posted that they had only said “I love you” once or twice and are now married/engaged. I’m not judging, it just kind of bums me out personally that people seem to find that a badge of honor rather than possible – not necessarily – missed opportunities. I didn’t say it should bum them out or make them second guess their relationships. I just find the sentiment and the reactions off-putting. I apologize for having an opinion that makes people defend their relationships. I’m sure there are choices I’ve made that would bum people out, too. You’re entitled to judge the shit out of them. I would not waste a whole lot of time explaining to you why you are misguided. Because like anything else – and like I have said, repeatedly – it depends so much on your personal experience and personality what works and what doesn’t.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 7:07 pm

        I see what your’e saying. I guess I didn’t read their comments as a badge of honor. I read them just as a matter of fact they only said it once or whatever. But the truth is I just skimmed – I skimmed to conversations about Addie Pray and Chicago and Charlotte. I’m very self-absorbed right now.

        I have said it to no one and I admit that with the opposite of a badge of honor. What’s the opposite of that? A badge of self-loathing.

        There, now everybody’s happy.

        Link
      • katie

        katie June 10, 2012, 7:38 pm

        i have to agree with viz.

        –im not in any way saying that this is what anyone on here said or even implied–,

        but i see the whole only one person loved as a form of slut shaming and i think its an extension of the virginity myth. you know? a girl saying, oh well i have only ever said i love you to my husband…. versus a girl saying i have said i love you to x amount of boyfriends in the past, and im in love with my current boyfriend. the praise that the first girl gets is no different then the supposed praise she would get if she waited to have sex til marriage… and theres the idea that someone only has so much “love” to give and so why give it to *just* anyone… i just see the mirroring of the two concepts.

        i dunno, i see what she is saying. i see it happen… its a good point.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 7:41 pm

        your mom’s a good point.

        (i dunno.)

        to the extent people say “I’ve only said it once” as a badge of honor like viz took it, I agree with Viz. I don’t think it makes anyone better or worse.

        Seriously, let me teach you parallel parking. You’ll be dropping the “I love you” bomb to me left and right, like a little tart. 😉

        p.s. I love you, Katie.

        Link
      • katie

        katie June 10, 2012, 7:49 pm

        it doesnt make anyone better or worse… it would just be nice if everyone thought that, i guess… lol

        please teach me parallel parking!! and lets hang out before you move!! and what happened to the rooftop pool party you were going to host!! when are you moving, anyway!!

        i love you to, AP.

        Link
      • katie

        katie June 10, 2012, 7:50 pm

        btw, way to mix facebook and DW. extra points.

        Link
      • JK

        JK June 10, 2012, 9:56 pm

        But that´s just the point, itps isnpt better to have loved heaps of guys or just one, just like sleeping with lots of guys or just one. Everyone has to make their life what they want it to be.
        As long as you´re happy with your own life why do you have to say what you think about other people´s lives (generic you, not you, katie,of course)

        Link
      • JK

        JK June 11, 2012, 7:54 am

        Ugh, sorry about all the typos, I dashed that off just as the baby woke up last night, so I didn´t get a chance to read what I wrote.

        Link
      • JK

        JK June 10, 2012, 6:51 pm

        I did actually think I was in love with the guy in a past relationship. But it was complicated as hell, so I never said anything to him.
        Turns out I was wrong, at least what I felt for the other guy pales terribly in comparison to what I feel for my husband. So I´m glad I never said anything.

        And no, I´m not defensive at all about my r/ship, we´ve been going strong for nearly 10 years, with a whole heap of crap thrown at us. And a lot of great things, as well. It does make me defensive that someone should say that I´m wrong about thinking I´m with the love of my life, because he is the 1st. Maybe I just got lucky, and didn´t have to sort through a pile of crap to reach him.
        Whatever it is, I make a point of not judging people by their beliefs, or choices.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 6:59 pm

        Oh I judge people by their choices all the time. Like, pretend there’s a woman drinking white wine. I’ve already judged her and she’s a made up person. Now, pretend she is driving in a gas-guzzling truck and drinking white wine at the same time…. and pretend the gas-guzzling truck as a bumper sticker that says “I love Sarah Palin.” And, oh, I dunno, her dog is strapped to the hood of the truck. … I’d judge he by her choices. But I probably wouldn’t judge her for having said “I love you” to only 1 person. But if that 1 person were, like, I dunno, that guy I went out with last week, yea, I’d judge her.

        I love judging. I kind of want to be a judge.

        Link
      • avatar

        rachel June 10, 2012, 7:59 pm

        Addie, last night I was cooking with white wine, and then I had an open bottle of white wine. Do you judge me for drinking it? I would not have chosen to drink white wine in normal circumstances.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 10, 2012, 11:38 pm

        I do. You’ve been judged. (Don’t worry, there doesn’t seem to be any repercussions when I judge people.)

        Link
      • avatar

        jlyfsh June 10, 2012, 8:20 pm

        i’m another person who has only said i love you to my husband and i definitely didn’t say it in a judging way. i too *thought* that what i had felt for someone else i dated was love but i was wrong. when i met my husband and what i felt for him was so different than what i had felt for other people i had dated, specifically the person thought i was in love with. and i don’t really feel like i missed out on other experiences because i was 27 when i met him, and i had dated many people and lived a lot of life before him. so really it’s just so individual to the person and their own experience.

        Link
  • avatar

    LANY June 10, 2012, 3:16 pm

    Freshman year boyfriend said it after about 2 months… Other college boyfriend was about 3-4 months, but I think I might have said it first… Long term post college boyfriend (6 years) was after about 3-4 months.

    Current boyfriend (who I am certain I will be marrying) and I decided to move in together before he ever said it (after about a year and a half of dating). I knew he loved me (actions = louder than words in this case) and didn’t need to hear him say it. At one point, he asked me something, and my response was, “because I love you.” He said, “I love you too” and all I could say was, “then WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO SAY IT, YOU MORON?!?” He claims it just didn’t occur to him. Boys. Now I get it at least 1-2x/day.

    Reply Link
  • SweetsAndBeats

    SweetsAndBeats June 10, 2012, 3:54 pm

    I can’t remember when the first time my boyfriend and I said ‘I love you’ but I do remember our first kiss very well, it’s my number one memory of our early days… We were hanging out in his room, had just gone through an epic tickle fight in which I ended up clocking him on the side of the head. We were laying on the floor, talking about our (individual) dreams for the future. We got onto the subject of weddings, and I told him that I was the sort of girly girl who has even tried to imagine what the kiss at the altar will be like with my as-yet-unknown future husband. He said something like, “Oh, yeah? Would it be something like this?” and gave me the best, softest, most perfectly executed kiss of my entire life. I melted right then and there and there were no more questions about loving him.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Trixy Minx June 10, 2012, 6:39 pm

      I love this story.

      Reply Link

Leave a Comment