Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread: Let’s Catch Up

Hi! How are you? I feel like we haven’t talked in a while. These last couple weeks have been busy and challenging. I threw my back out about three weeks ago carrying Jackson in his stroller up and down a million subway stairs, and I’ve been varying degrees of immobile since then. Drew’s been working a lot of late evenings recently — coming home after Jackson’s asleep, and our wonderful babysitter who watches Jack three mornings a week (and sometimes more if I need her), has been on vacation for the last eight days. I don’t mean to be all “woe is me,” but it’s been a total bitch trying to care for a very active 10-month-old when my back is out and I don’t have the help I’m used to. I don’t want to jinx anything, but this morning was the first time in three+ weeks I didn’t wake up aching. And so far — it’s only 8:30 am as I write this but I’ve been awake for hours — I haven’t been limping when I walk. I’m keeping my fingers crossed I’ve turned a corner.

In other news, I got my hair cut yesterday. I know that isn’t terribly exciting — like, at all — but I have spent the last three months growing out a terrible cut and it feels great to actually be able to wear my hair down and not in the ponytail I’ve been sporting all summer. Also! I made a decision three weeks ago that I was tired of feeling fat (I have lost hardly any weight since Jackson was born) and it was time to do something about it. I bought a new bike and rode it two whole times before I screwed up my back. But now that I’m feeling better, I’m hopeful I can get on it again this weekend. That’s not the best part, though. The best part is that I have given up alcohol … well, six days a week, that is. Ok, maybe five. And I have pretty much stopped snacking between meals. And I stop eating by 7 pm. Even though I’ve been basically immobile for three weeks, just making these few changes I’ve managed to lose six pounds so far. My goal was to lose ten by my birthday, which is still three weeks away, so I think I can do it. Then I am going to shoot for ten more by Thanksgiving.

In addition to all that, Drew and I have slowly been tweaking things around the site. We’re cleaning up the design a little bit, and by popular request, we’ve added a search bar at the top right corner. In coming weeks, I’m going to start writing a regular email that you can sign up for. It will contain tips of the day, inspirational quotes, comment of the day (featuring YOU), additional links to interesting articles, personal updates, and other cool stuff. Keep an eye out for more info. Also! By popular demand, mugs are coming! We have one design ready and are working on a second. They’ll be ready for purchase soon.

All this is to say, I’m feeling a renewed sense of energy today. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that as we look forward to Jackson’s first birthday in a few weeks, I’m finding more energy to focus on, well, myself a little bit again (which includes this site). I’m committed to getting back in shape and nurturing my new friendships and making this space into what I envisioned for it when I launched it. I got pregnant that very same week and my focus has definitely fallen way more on the “motherhood” side of things, and justifiably so. But after almost 20 months of living with Jackson (counting pregnancy), and adjusting to his presence and the demands of parenthood, I’m beginning to find a little more balance. My focus is still mostly on him (as it should be), but there’s a little more breathing room now. I’m hopeful I may even find energy to do more of the kind of writing that brings me so much fulfillment (like the Alphabet Series), and sharing a bit more of myself with you.

There are more exciting things in store (even more exciting than a haircut, if you can stand it). I can’t wait to share them with you. Thank you for all your support. Thank you for reading the site, thank you for your comments and your emails. Thank you for forwarding links to your friends and sharing posts on Facebook and Twitter, etc. Thank you for your donations. Thank you for using the DW Amazon link when you shop. Thank you for sticking it out through the various growing pains we’ve experienced. It means so much that you spend part of your day or week here out of all the millions of websites you have to choose from. Thank you!

Now: what’s new with you? How has your summer been? How are you feeling? What are you excited about in your life? What do you need support with? Let’s hear it.

[image via]

217 comments… add one
  • avatar

    bethany August 17, 2012, 4:25 pm

    Awww! I’m glad things are starting to go in the direction you want them to! I’m really looking forward to the email, and I love the search button (haven’t used it yet, but have wished there was one in the past).

    Things with me are ok… We bought a house at the end of May, and I’m feeling overwhelmed by it. There’s still so much to do, and so little time to do it. We’ve been really busy this summer, and I’ve been out of town almost every weekend. I just need a chance to chill out and relax!! What am I excited about?? Getting every single last box unpacked and every single thing assigned a home!!!

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    • avatar

      Kristen August 17, 2012, 7:41 pm

      I’m completely with you on the unpacking thing. I can’t wait to finally feel settled in this apartment and feel like everything has a place to be put away. I have a huge box full of random bathroom supplies that I can’t bring myself to go through. So many random bottles of shampoo, toothpaste, soap, skin scrubs, etc. And I can’t even look at our huge box of random files that need organized. Moving is so much work!

      I hope you get a chance to relax this weekend 🙂

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      • avatar

        Bethany August 17, 2012, 9:56 pm

        I had that same box of random bathroom stuff and just unpacked it tonight! Only took 3 months! Good luck with your unpacking!

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh August 19, 2012, 1:43 pm

        i have two of those. still have tape on them sitting in a closet. one day i will go through them!

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  • avatar

    kerrycontrary August 17, 2012, 4:40 pm

    I’m glad you are feeling more like yourself, Wendy! My summer has been really busy as I had (have) 3 weddings. My brother is getting married in 2 weeks, which I’m excited about, but it’s taken up a lot of time/energy since his fiance’s family lives abroad so we help a lot. My bf and I haven’t had a weekend to ourselves since July 4th, and now he’s in Canada for some military training. I can’t talk to him because he doesn’t have reception, so that sucks. I will be really happy for life to calm down in September and actually relish in the fact that he only lives 30 mins from me now instead of 3.5 hours like he did for most of our relationship!

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  • avatar

    ktfran August 17, 2012, 4:42 pm

    Wendy, I just have to say that you’re crazy! I met you at the Chicago meetup and I thought you looked great. With that being said, I think it’s awesome that you, or anyone, can see room for improvement and go for it.

    I keep saying I want to strength train, but have not found the right motivation to start.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy August 17, 2012, 4:45 pm

      Aw, thanks.

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    • avatar

      ktfran August 17, 2012, 4:46 pm

      Oh, and I haven’t been excited about a boy in a really long time. I finally am. And it feels pretty great. Like, I can’t stop smiling. That and eating out with friends as usual is what’s going on in the world of ktfran. Oh, and my friend just got us second row tickets to see Ben Gibbard. Well done her.

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  • avatar

    Taylor August 17, 2012, 4:51 pm

    What a lovely letter! I look forward to the new site stuff, and the daily email. Checking DW has become part of my breakfast ritual.

    My post-wedding hair cut is scheduled for Monday! It’s going much shorter than it’s been in AGES. Here’s hoping it’s “sassy youngish professional” and not “oops”. I am impressed by your 6 pound loss, the start can be the hardest! I have cut calories a lot (down to 1600-1700 a day), and nothing is happening (it’s been a couple of months). It’s been frustrating, but I’ve been reading a lot about sugars and wheat, and starting to cut down on them while increasing protein/fiber/veggies. So, here’s hoping that does something, I’m tired of feeling stuck at the weight I’m at. Is it wrong that I’m hoping the haircut knocks off half a pound?

    Now that the wedding is over, we’re talking house and BABIES. And I have a serious case of BABY BRAIN. I get super anxious thinking about all the changes though, and fret about the job situation. I love my job, but I’m on a year to year contract, and my husband wants to leave his job next year, and it makes me nervous to think about baby making in those conditions. But, my eggs, and the rest of me just turned 34 (seriously, how did that happen?) so I don’t want to wait another year to start trying. I suspect I’ll be writing in for advice soon =)

    Anywhoo, thanks for asking Wendy! I hope you, and all the DW’ers, have a wonderful weekend!

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray August 17, 2012, 4:54 pm

    I’m so excited to hear more about all the new stuff! I am most looking forward to purchasing a DW mug. I hope they’re thin-rimmed, those are my favorite. For everyone who is dying to know how I like my coffee, I’ll tell you I like it black, and in a small mug — one you can grip well with one hand — and with an ultra-thin rim. There, now you know.

    As for me, I’m under a whole bunch of stress – and I’ve been handling my stress all wrong. I’ve been handling it with pizza and wine and not yoga. I’m sressed because: (1) I started a new job and am trying to get work, do good work, figure my bosses out and their styles, and make everyone happy; it’s going well but, you know, it takes time to find your groove; (2) I’m going to be homeless in two weeks; (3) the condo i have under contract might fall through, again; (4) I’ve been without garage parking all summer which has proved to be a major, major source of stress; (5) my apartment is a mess and i need to throw stuff out and pack up the rest; (6) my mom fell and broke a lot of bones requiring multiple surgeries and I did not handle it well at the time — like a “oh mom, you’re fine, get up” sort of response — and I feel like the worst daughter in the whole wide world — moving on i’m doing whatever i can to make sure my mother is happy and comfortable and safe for the rest of her life — and if that means i have to watch a million episodes of Law & Order with her and go garage saling with her and watch Antique Roadshow, so be it; (7) I had a little tiff with a brother that makes me really, really sad; and (8) I haven’t been to yoga in 2 months. I can’t bring myself to go. At one point I did Bikram 65 days in a row and now I can’t go once. I’m afraid. I’m scared to see how hard it will be and how far I’ve fallen. I know I’ll be mad at myself. I can’t bring myself to go. And it’s really weighing on me … I guess that covers the big stuff.

    But there’s a few good things to report: (A) Work is going well and with time I will feel more established – and I think I definitely made the right decision taking this particular new job; (B) eventualy I’ll live somewhere (right?); and (C) I’m happy with and loving my network of girlfriends that I’ve created for myself.

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    • Budj

      Budj August 17, 2012, 4:58 pm

      I like my coffee black too…but in a huge mug…

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 17, 2012, 5:13 pm

        perfect. now we won’t fight over mugs when it’s post-cuddling black coffee time on lazy sunday mornings. sigh.

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    • avatar

      Taylor August 17, 2012, 5:01 pm

      Yay for the good things! I get how you feel about the yoga – I feel that about getting back into swimming. And fighting with a sibling is the pits! And agreed on the small rims.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:28 am

        i bought a mug at the Waffle House a few years back because it was so cute and available for purchase for only $5, so of course I had to get it. But it has the thickest rim in the whole wide world and i avoid that mug like the plague unless it’s the last mug standing. It’s like those big grannie undies you only wear when you’re down to your vary last pair. Eh, that made sense, right? (Except truth is my grannie undies are the first I put on – it’s those stupid thongs that i end up wearing on laundry day. There, now everybody knows.)

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 5:53 pm

      totally feel you on the house thing. i didn’t know until the day before whether or not i was moving in to a new rental or the new house. it sucks! good luck!!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:31 am

        it’s incredibly stressful. like, i didn’t realize this uncertainty would be so stressful. the stress of not knowing my job and not knowing what city i’d live in was not nearly as anxiety-filled as this on. i mean, i don’t know if i’ll be living in a condo stuck with a mortgage for life (well, 15 years) or on friend’s couches for while, or back to renting…. at some point i’ll have to put a time limit on the condo and make plans to either continue shopping or move into a rental… oh the agony! waa waa — i mean, i realize there are greater problems in the world. this one is mine. it’s not *so* bad after all.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh August 18, 2012, 12:16 pm

        yeah it might not be so bad but it is stressful! i used to do that to myself, say you shouldn’t be stressed about this it’s not that big of a deal. which made me stressed over stressing, which you know leads nowhere good 🙂 you’re allowed to be a little stressed! and the whole putting a time limit is where we ended up. you have to ask yourself if the house you are going for is worth another month or two of not knowing and potentially getting a short term rental, etc. for us it ended up not being worth it. i’ll cross my fingers things work out for you!

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    • avatar

      Eagle Eye August 17, 2012, 6:12 pm

      Ugh, I know how you feel about your Mom. A couple of years back my sister started complaining about issues with her heart racing. I thought that it was a crock of bull and that she was just being overly sensitive – turns out she had re-entry tachycardia and while it wasn’t life threatening (i.e. it was not Wolf Parkinson White) she still needed to have a procedure where they froze the extra nerve near her heart that would randomly cause it to race at abnormally high frequencies.

      So, I felt like a huge asshole.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:35 am

        yes, that’s exactly how i felt. so after my mom fell and i was dismissive about the extent of her injuries even though she was PASSING OUT in front of me (why, why, why was my instinct not to OVER-REACT? it’s my mom, she’s not young, from here on out, i over-react instead of under-react), i quickly learned in the ER that she hurt herself pretty badly. so i was very apologetic. “Mama, I’m so sorry, I should’ve brought you here earlier, I should’ve exited the restaurant first, I should’ve helped you down the stairs, next time you fall down the stairs I’ll call the ambulance RIGHT AWAY!” … then the next day, she’s complaining about her shoulder hurting. And what do I do? “Oh mom, your shoulder is fine, you just fell hard, it’s bruised.” … Finally she goes to the doctor and no she’s torn her rotator cuff and needs surgery. GOD DAMN ME I’M THE WORST DAUGHTER IN THE WORLD. I need to go call her right now.

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    • katie

      katie August 17, 2012, 6:40 pm

      we will hopefully take care of number 5, atleast a little bit, tomorrow. be ready!!

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    • avatar

      Anna August 17, 2012, 10:53 pm

      I had pizza and wine today too! It must have just been a pizza and wine kind of day.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:40 am

        it’s getting really bad up in here, anna. like, wendy mentioned she’s not drinking 6 nights a week. well shit, i’m not not drinking 6 nights a week! in fact, i can’t remember the last night i had no alcoholic beverage. … really, i can’t think. FML.

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  • avatar

    Trixy Minx August 17, 2012, 4:54 pm

    I <3 Wendy.

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    • SweetsAndBeats

      SweetsAndBeats August 17, 2012, 10:48 pm

      And we <3 you, sweetface!

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      • avatar

        Trixy Minx August 17, 2012, 10:57 pm

        You’re the bestest.

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  • JK

    JK August 17, 2012, 5:06 pm

    After a crappy week (I was sick, now I´m finally feeling a bit better, also it´s been raining pretty much nonstop since tuesday), which followed a month of being computerless I´m so glad that the weekend is here. Plus in Argentina it´s a long weekend, so one more day of rest.
    Also I´m really happy because we´re going to be able to build our new house A LOT sooner than expected. Like meeting with the engineer to start the design next week kind of sooner.

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    • avatar

      Taylor August 17, 2012, 5:08 pm

      Woohoo! A house started early? That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of that =)

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      • JK

        JK August 17, 2012, 5:12 pm

        Yeah, with our typical pessimistic calculations we´d planned on a couple of years before we could start building, but we´ve been saving heaps and had some unexpected income, so it´s full steam ahead!

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      • avatar

        Taylor August 17, 2012, 5:13 pm

        Awesome! Happy building!

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      • JK

        JK August 17, 2012, 5:14 pm

        Thanks!

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    • katie

      katie August 17, 2012, 6:42 pm

      can we see the plans when they are done? and by that i really just mean that i want to know what your going to do with your kitchen. haha

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      • JK

        JK August 17, 2012, 6:50 pm

        Totally, I want an AWESOME kitchen, with lots of space (storage and workspace). 🙂

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    • avatar

      Caris August 18, 2012, 8:28 am

      Ugh this rain is the WORST. I want it to stop already :(. Having to go to school with a million coats just in case sucks. Having to dry clothes on the heater also sucks.

      And YAY for new house 😀

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  • call-me-hobo

    call-me-hobo August 17, 2012, 5:24 pm

    I start my grad program in exactly 10 days, and I am excited/slightly nauseous about it. The first couple of days are only orientation, but we start clinical rotations at the beginning of the second week….when we still don’t really know anything.

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    • JK

      JK August 17, 2012, 5:26 pm

      You´ll be fine! I´m sure everyone will love you.

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo August 17, 2012, 5:31 pm

        D’aww. I’m so glad you have internet again, JK. I’m just nervous because I only have 7 other classmates for the year- which means that there really isn’t any way to slip under the radar.

        Also- Congrats on the building!!!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 17, 2012, 6:51 pm

        Everyone will love you. Your energy infectious!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 12:03 am

        Especially with her adorable accent and adorable self. I worry zero for call-me-hobo. 🙂

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 6:21 pm

      i’m sure you’ll do great! 🙂

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    • theattack

      theattack August 19, 2012, 9:23 pm

      I want to know what school you go to, hobo! I hope you’ll have time for a meetup soon. You’ll do great in your program! And the great thing about starting rotations in the very beginning is that you’ll get to learn in a practical environment instead of learning theory and then having difficulty applying it all later.

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo August 19, 2012, 10:51 pm

        I’m going to be at Vandy! I’m so freaking pumped, because their hospitals have all the best equipment. Their PET lab is one of the best in the country.

        And I will definitely have time to meet up with you! I still have the weekends off, lol!

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      • theattack

        theattack August 19, 2012, 11:09 pm

        Ohh wow! Vandy is the best!!! I went there for my first semester of undergrad. It’s a beautiful campus. You probably don’t have a meal plan since you’re a grad student, but you should check out brunch at Rand on Sundays! It’s seriously the best. When I was there, it would have been worth paying real money for. I bet you’ll end up making friends with some of my friends. Omg, I can’t wait for us to meet up! So are you going to med school, nursing school, or what?

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo August 19, 2012, 11:27 pm

        I’m actually in their Nuclear Medicine Program. I don’t think I’ll be actually on campus though- almost all of my learning is going to be in the hospital/in hospital classrooms.

        My clinical rotations are going to be all over the place, too. I think about half of them are outside the main hospital campus- like the Veteran’s center, the Children’s Hospital, the Cardiac center.

        I can’t wait to meet up, either. Margaritaaasssss.

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      • peppers87

        C-liz August 21, 2012, 3:38 pm

        AH I’m a grad student at VANDY!

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  • avatar

    AKchic August 17, 2012, 5:32 pm

    I don’t know if anyone wants to even hear my stuff going on right now.

    The kids go back to school on Wednesday and I was supposed to get a bonus check on Monday (which I would have used for school supplies). Well, they cancelled the bonus and I can’t afford school supplies (not with everything else going on right now) and I’m pissed. Had I known 1 day sooner, I could have taken advantage of the free school supply thing going on.

    We dealing with the threat of lay-offs and two of my bosses (the newbies) (I have four direct supervisors) think I’m not doing enough, when I’m actually doing 2 fulltime jobs in one (it used to be more, but last year I threw a fit and made them hire a second person). So, now I’m doing daily productivity sheets to account for my every task. The urge to write “Wasting time writing on a prod sheet” is strong.

    We’ve been given a tentative offer to buy a duplex from a friend in an awesome neighborhood here in town for a great deal at owner-finance. I’m trying to nail down details. I wanted to move in October anyways, so this could very well be the best thing to happen this year.

    My sister had her 2nd kid. Missing a finger, stunted arm, heart problems. So, all I ever hear from my mom is all about my sister and this new kid (I think his name is Cody). In the same breath, her and my stepdad are insisting that I have NO MORE kids (it’s not something the SO and I are going to discuss until after we get married).

    The SO finally told his mom about the wedding. Both of his parents have been trying to talk him out of it, but his mom less than we expected. I’m wondering if she’ll fake a heart attack ala Sanford & Son right before the wedding to delay/postpone it.

    I ran out of one of my medications last night, and my doc appt to get refills was supposed to be next Friday. I’ve changed it to Monday, but in the mean time – DETOX. Oh what fun, especially since we’re storming all weekend. Stupid me for thinking I could make a month’s supply last 2 whole months.

    These are the biggies right now. Too much work, nobody trained on my work so I can take time off (I’ve got plenty of vacation time), and too many stresses.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy August 17, 2012, 6:30 pm

      What can we do to help you?

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      • AKchic_

        AKchic_ August 17, 2012, 6:38 pm

        *laugh* Nothing really. The work issues will pass, the kids will get their school supplies like they should (even if it means I won’t be getting other things done), and the rest will either fall into place or not. It’s just frustrating as all hell to have it all come at once.

        The niggling idea to announce I’m pregnant and scare my mom won’t go away… but I really don’t want to give her a heart attack. Just want to shut everyone up. While I’m not pregnant and we probably won’t have any more kids, it’s just annoying that everyone in my family seems so damned invested in my uterus when they have no reason to be. If they were helping me financially, I could see it. If they were my daycare, I could see it.

        The SO’s parents – well, either they get over it or they don’t. We know a lot of the issue is because the both of them have 3 failed marriages (twice to each other) each, so the idea of marriage scares them.

        In other good news – I should be able to take my walking boot off in another two weeks 🙂 Hopefully I won’t break it again.

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      • avatar

        Trixy Minx August 17, 2012, 10:54 pm

        Wow. You guys that is so nice of you to do that for AKchick.

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 6:36 pm

      do you have paypal? i’ve been the kid without school supplies before and had people help out. i would be more than willing to contribute some money. if enough people pitched in we wouldn’t even need to give but maybe $5 a person!

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson August 17, 2012, 6:49 pm

        Seriously! I would love to help. Any excuse to know other people are enjoying new highlighters!

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      • AKchic_

        AKchic_ August 17, 2012, 6:52 pm

        Remind me to post a picture of when my oldest used a sharpie marker to color on his brother (they were 4 and 2 at the time). Head to toe, face, butt, bottoms of the feet, everything.
        The youngest like to “tattoo” himself with markers, pens, whatever comes to hand. He calls it his “two-ee-twos”.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 17, 2012, 6:53 pm

        That’s why I asked. Akchic, I have earned money off all your amazon purchases you’ve made through my link, so I would be very happy to send you that money to help toward school supplies.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 17, 2012, 6:56 pm

        If you don’t want to share your PayPal acct. publicly (if you have one), you could tell me privately. Then, anyone who is reading this and would like to help, could PayPal me with “akchic” in the subject and I will PayPal that amount to you.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 12:29 am

        Wendy, this is so nice of you! You’re the best blogger ever.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 17, 2012, 7:03 pm

        I’d be happy to pitch in as well, AK. In the meantime, I’ll be thinking of you. When it rains, it pours…

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 17, 2012, 7:33 pm

        Everyone, I have akchic’s PayPal account now. if you would like to send her some money for her kids’ school supplies, please PayPal me at wendy@dearwendy.com with “akchic” in the message and I will send the amount to her by Monday afternoon. Thank you!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 17, 2012, 8:13 pm

        I’m not all that familiar with PayPal. If I donate thru your tootsie roll, will that work? If not can someone explain how to do this.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 17, 2012, 8:26 pm

        Yes, send through the tootsie roll link. In the message segmant you can say “akchic” and I will know to send it along to her. I’ll wait until Monday afternoon to see how much is sent for her and then I’ll paypal the total amount to her. Thanks!

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 8:14 pm

        i’ll make a transfer when i get home!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 17, 2012, 8:26 pm

        Thanks.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 11:05 pm

        Done!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 18, 2012, 11:05 am

        Ok me too. Hope it worked.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh August 18, 2012, 12:14 pm

        you should get an email and then you will see a debit on whatever account is linked from paypal! 🙂 i’m sure you did it right!

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      • mandalee

        mandalee August 17, 2012, 11:03 pm

        me too!! I have to figure out how to use PayPal again, but I’d love to help!

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 11:12 pm

        the hardest part for me is remembering my password. after that they make it pretty easy 🙂

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      • mandalee

        mandalee August 18, 2012, 12:20 am

        Yes, I never remember mine either. Then, I have to reset and it’s linked to an old email whose password I also never remember. Basically, I’m lazy and make it more complicated than it is lol But I will figure it out so I can help!

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 18, 2012, 11:04 am

        Sent!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 18, 2012, 11:16 am

        Thanks, everyone! You guys are awesome. By the way, I’ve asked AKChic what the estimated cost is for her kids’ school supplies and I will let everyone know when/if we reach that goal so no one sends more money than what is needed. Thank you!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 19, 2012, 7:42 pm

        Posted down-thread, but I will post here, too, so everyone gets the message:

        Thank you to everyone who has contributed to our collection for AKchic to buy school supplies. We have collected over $200, which I think is enough to cover the supplies. This is a generous community and I’m so happy we can help out one of our members, even in a small way, who could use a break.

        I’m going to close the collection now. Thanks for your generosity!

        Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson August 17, 2012, 7:43 pm

        LBH – where have you been!! We’ve missed you. You were mentioned in a thread at least once a week. How is life? Are you still smoke free? How’s the kid? The boy?

        Link
      • katie

        katie August 17, 2012, 8:45 pm

        psh once a week- once a day? haha

        Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson August 19, 2012, 1:16 pm

        I didn’t want to creep her out. But yes it was probably closer to once a day, haha.

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 20, 2012, 12:48 pm

        Hi! Thanks for all the missing-me love!! I took a DW break after all the dramz a few weeks ago. This nice ‘catch up’ Wendy posted pulled me back in 🙂
        Life is good, no complaints. Still smoke free, believe it or not. Been over 2 months already which is crazy. I still would kick a puppy for one drag though if given the chance (I’m just kidding pet lovers!). Everyone’s doing really well, busiest summer of my life though, but all fun stuff. We’ve done a lot of weekend trips to visit family which is so nice, but then I get so sad when we have to leave them.

        Link
      • JK

        JK August 18, 2012, 8:40 am

        Yay, you´re back!

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:42 am

        welcome back, squirt! i’ve missed having someone confess their love for me on DW. budj, god bless him, doesn’t do as nearly as good of a job as you.

        p.s. it’s one of those moments when clearly i am the only one up and dearwendying because “Addie Pray” now is listed as the last 5 commenters…. and i have that urge to keep on commenting – just. a. few. more. times. – to dominate the comment bar. *WHAT* is that urge about? Do other have it and they just suppress it?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:44 am

        I mean, seriously, does no one else get that urge to dominate the “recent comments” column? b/c sometimes you *oops* accidentally capture the last few spots – so why not just keep on commenting, you know?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:45 am

        I personally would guess that this urge is natural and we all have it. I’m just the only one who acts on it.

        Anyhoo, do you want to know a special skill I have?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:46 am

        I’ll tell you. Give me any color peanut M&M, and I will eat it without looking at it and be able to correctly tell you the color.

        It’s true, I can do it.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:47 am

        For real, I can tell. Without cheating. I double dare anyone to test me. Bring me a packet of peanut M&Ms — they have to be peanut — and I will eat them with a blindfold on and tell you the color.

        I get it right always. or at least 20% of the time.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:49 am

        Awww, all APs on the side. Seriously, it is so satisfying. *What* is that about?!

        Have a good day, everyone. Imma go drink coffee in my thin-rimmed mug that says “David Johstone” on it. A former co-worker. Gosh, it must have belonged to him. But, gosh, it has my ideal rim, so now it’s mine. Bwhahahahahahaha

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  • buttoned

    buttoned August 17, 2012, 4:34 pm

    Congrats on losing 6 pounds! That’s great! (You still look amazing regardless.) And don’t new haircuts feel the best? I feel like a sassy new me after I get a good one that doesn’t make my curly hair look like a pyramid.

    I just started my junior year at college yesterday. It’s so weird! My boyfriend has moved to grad school, and it’s weird not having him here to go out with on the weekends. At the moment, I am bumming, because I feel like I have no one to really hang out with during the weekend, since him and the friends have graduated. I’m back at square one! Not living in a dorm can make it harder to make plans for the weekend with new people.
    So, for now, I’m sitting in my apartment and am tempted to open a tub of ice cream and throw a sob party. Anyone have suggestions of what to do on a weekend alone? I wish I was 21, thus I could hit the bars, but alas, I am not. Maybe I should wander campus..
    GAH I AM A SAD SACK.

    Oh, and congrats bethany on the new house!!

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      kerrycontrary August 17, 2012, 4:41 pm

      Go wander around campus, I always took walks alone in college it’s so serene this time of year! You are in college, do not waste this time of your life missing a boyfriend. Take this opportunity to make new friends through classes, clubs, and parties.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      bethany August 17, 2012, 4:46 pm

      Thank you!!

      Go wander around campus and enjoy college for me!! I miss it so much!!!

      Reply Link
  • katie

    katie August 17, 2012, 5:41 pm

    wow wendy. you are amazing. i definitely need this right now. but first, my responses to you:

    1. haircuts are amazing. i got my first grown up hair cut (with an actual shape and everything) in the spring, and i need a new haircut so bad right now. but, my best friend from elementary school who does my hair lives in colorado, and its annoying that i feel like i need to fly all the way to colorado for a haircut. a haircut, and my gyno. i dont want to give those up just because i moved.

    2. yay for your back being better and yay for finding a nice balance for your life that you enjoy (even if the balance is slightly in jackson’s favor- i guess the LW’s will have to fight for the rest! haha)

    3. i am freaking buying a mug and i hope that they come in the awesome taller mugs because those are my favorite. im still waiting on a “regulars” DW t-shirt though, because that would make me feel like im a super cool part of a super cool club.

    ok, so. what do i need support with right now? omg. let me tell you about that.

    so, yesterday i found out that the townhouse i rent is in foreclosure and my asshole landlord has been going through foreclosure for a fucking YEAR AND A HALF. i am super upset about this. this is the same man who, after we recieved weird peices of mail and multiple visits from his bank, looked me in the eye and told me that everything was fine and he was all current on his mortgage. im taking the day off on weds to look for a new place. my realtor, who found me this place, has a place that he thinks will be perfect for me and jake. the owner bought it with cash and it has gone down in value, so she is already in the hole with it and very ready to get rid of it. she would be open to a rent to own option which would be literally perfect for us, provided that the house is nice and we like it. so now we also have to figure out if we want to buy or lease again. buying will be so cheap for us monthly- we have awesome credit and the reality company we worked with said that we could get a great mortgage super easily, so hopefully that is at least an option. BUT i dont have a lot of savings and buying a house puts me into anxiety about dying in the house that im buying, because thats pretty much what you agree to when you sign a mortgage. but then, renting in chicago is RIDICULOUS!!! like, so so expensive compared to what we would pay for a mortgage. so. i dunno. i hate this. its like super intense life decision on speed.

    so, then my two best friends might be getting a divorce. this is my best friend from when i lived in minnesota, age about 9 and then my best friend i met in 5th grade, so age about 12 or something. they have both been good friends for a lot of years, kind of lost touch with the girl from minnesota, but my family and the guy’s family are super close and i was with him through his mom’s death and stuff… so, two people i am super close too. they met in junior high when she came out to visit me one summer. so, they kept in touch, and i knew for a long time that he was like in love with her, she had a long relationship and a baby with another guy, and when that ended, kyle jumped in. they had a whirlwind romance and ended up fucking getting married before he went back to afghanistan for a year. and now, he is in afghanistan and she thinks that they might have rushed things (you think?) and that maybe they should get an annulment. ohhhh god.

    so, thats my life right now. thank you wendy for letting me vent right now. your the best.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray August 17, 2012, 5:50 pm

      you sure you want to buy? i thought as chefs you move around every two years or so. (didn’t you say that, that if chefs want to move up they have to move around a lot? maybe i made that up). or are your jobs now more long term?

      see, my experience with chicago is that it’s wayyyy more afordable to pay rent than to pay the mortgage for the same/similar piece of property.

      Reply Link
      • katie

        katie August 17, 2012, 6:53 pm

        i dunno, we are really trying to decide. like, jake wants to own so he can do whatever he wants and have a yard and a dog, ect.. and here in chicago, he wont have to move around (hopefully) because there is so many jobs for him here. and (hopefully) my job is here long term.

        and the renting out here is insane! maybe in the city its different, but where i am is crazy.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 5:47 am

        actually, maybe you’re right. i rent a 1-bedroom. but when i look at condos to buy, i look at 2-3 bedrooms, so of course the mortgage is going to outweigh rent in that case. ok, katie’s right.

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    • katie

      katie August 18, 2012, 9:50 pm

      my landlord has filed for bankrupcy. it says right on the notice that we cannot go after him for money or file any new lawsuits against him. so we are screwed. screwed out of my astonomical security deposit, any moving costs, rent, everything.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        iseeshiny August 18, 2012, 10:40 pm

        I would sell the appliances. Am I joking? I don’t know.

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      • katie

        katie August 19, 2012, 9:21 am

        honestly, they are pretty shitty, so it probably would be more trouble to try to get someone to give me actual money for them.

        maybe i could sell them for scrap metal? haha

        Link
  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny August 17, 2012, 6:15 pm

    Ooh, I’m really looking forward to the DW emails! And I’m glad that you’re finding more of a balance in life right now. Especially after having issues with your back and not being as productive as you’d like!
    I’m excited because this weekend (sunday) I’m driving to Yosemite and monday morning am hiking up Half Dome. It’s something I’ve wanted to do and my friend had an extra permit. (It’s an 8 hour, 16 mile hike that climbs a mile in elevation, yikes!)
    Also, I’ve been dating a guy for almost a month, and it’s going really great so far. It’s been really fun and we get along really well.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 6:25 pm

    i got my hair cut not too long ago too. it’s very freeing! i have long naturally curly hair so i feel like i lost about 15 pounds when i got it done. the back of my neck was staying sweaty all day (Gross i know!) because there was just so much hair!

    things are good with me. i’ve lost about 10 pounds so far and feel much better since starting my workout/healthy eating routine. we’re having spinach nuggets for dinner tonight! and my husband was actually ok with it, haha!

    my dogs are still crazy. our male dog is sort of scared of the back yard. we’re working on it slowly. he’ll go if i go with them and some times i have to take him out on the leash. he’s a really big baby. he also has learned from his ‘sister’ how to beg for belly rubs. i now get woken up in the middle of the night by two thumping tails on my back requesting to be rubbed back to sleep.

    i also started playing trivia and last week we won! i felt very smart even though i only knew a few answers, haha. OH and best find of the week the google sky map for iphone. SO much fun! you can point your phone anywhere and see what stars/planets/constellations are there. i like to whip my phone out at random times and be like guess what we’re under the little dipper right now. it’s probably pretty annoying 😉

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 6:36 pm

      i also just caught a pot holder on fire taking the nuggets out of the oven…..oops

      Reply Link
      • AKchic_

        AKchic_ August 17, 2012, 6:39 pm

        It could be worse… the SO went to boil water and forgot to put water in the pot. He also left a plastic stirring spoon in it! I laughed so hard when I found it 30 minutes later, smelling and melted.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 6:51 pm

        haha yeah that would be worse the fire was easily put out in the sink 🙂

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      • avatar

        AKchic August 17, 2012, 7:13 pm

        Being the loving person I am, I have never let him live it down. Much like my friends who have yet to stop teasing me for setting a pizza on fire in my oven during a party. What are friends for if not to tease you for your follies?

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 11:06 pm

        haha yeah i doubt my husband or dogs will let me forget it for awhile. for some reason the dogs flinch every time i open the oven now 😉

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh August 19, 2012, 6:27 pm

      so you know what’s really fun the random things that happened to me at the beach today:

      1. my dogs pooped probably 10 times at the beach, they store it up when they hear the words beach day. what is it about the beach? well it’s really fun when one time they stop and poop right in front of small children who try to play with it. also trying to stop a dog from pooping and drag them away is really hard.

      2. it was kind of windy out there today. you know how you always worry that maybe an umbrella will come out of the sand and hit you. that happened today. my poor dog and i both got umbrella to the face. my friend got the stand portion to the face almost, thankfully it missed her.

      after pooping, getting hit with an umbrella and digging a lot of holes they are both snoring. it’s wonderful.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        jlyfsh August 19, 2012, 6:31 pm

        i blame all the time in the sun on the fact that some of my sentences don’t make any sense. oh well.

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  • avatar

    quixoticbeatnik August 17, 2012, 6:38 pm

    Yay Wendy! I don’t comment too much, but I always love reading your site and think you give awesome advice.

    I totally know what you mean on the haircut – I need one, too. My ends are terrible. I’ve also been looking around for a new shampoo and conditioner and I tried Lush’s Curly Wurly and R&B, which I think Lili and several people on here recommended. So far I really like them! Although they are a bit expensive.

    I am having SUCH a great day and it’s funny because I woke up in a not so good mood this morning. But that time of the month finally showed up for me today, which had been making me freak out a bit, plus I’m getting Implanon on Monday so that I don’t have to do the stupid pills anymore – I’m terrible with them. Plus I think it’ll be totally covered by insurance with just a small co-pay, which I’m SO pumped by. The less I have to think about, the better.

    Also, I found out today that I was accepted for an internship that I interviewed for yesterday which I am SUPER excited about! It is unpaid, but I think the experience I will get will be so, so, SO good for me. I get to work with GIS stuff and do various different things! I can’t wait to start.

    I also found out that I got an A in my summer philosophy class, which I hated. So good things alllllll around. The only not good thing is that the fall semester for me starts on Tuesday. BOO. Actually, it’s probably a good thing because I’ve been bored lately and I think that is making me feel depressed because I have nothing to do during the day and no one to hang out with.

    Conclusion: 😀 😀 😀

    Reply Link
    • ScrambledMegss

      ScrambledMegss August 17, 2012, 10:08 pm

      For your ends, try this stuff:
      http://www.sephora.com/restore-targeted-repair-cream-P309401

      I tried it for a few days last week at my friend’s place and it literally transformed my hair! my ends were horrid, I was sure I’d have to cut off like 4 inches..a little pricey but so worth i!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        quixoticbeatnik August 19, 2012, 2:58 pm

        Ooh, thanks! I might have to go to Sephora and see if I can get a sample of this stuff. I think have a gift card coming my way soon which I plan to use to buy expensive beauty stuff. WOOO

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    • avatar

      painted_lady August 18, 2012, 12:11 am

      Love Curly Wurly – I sang its praises all over the place when I bought it about a month ago. My only complaint is combing out all the coconut, but it smells so good and makes my hair so soft! I’ve also picked up the Veganese conditioner, which smells like lemons and does the trick because I’m mostly doing just a conditioner rinse these days.

      Speaking of, have you ever tried the Curly Girl method? There’s a fairly expensive book out, but some lovely lady posted the Cliff’s Notes version online, and it’s wonderful. It sounds insane at first (just washing with conditioner most of the week?! Don’t comb it except in the shower), but I swear to high heaven it works. My hair’s really thick and fine and more wavy than curly, but it’s always looked kind of fried – especially at the ends – unless I put a ton of product in it, and that does no one any good. All of a sudden I’ve got these shiny ringlets – ringlets, I tell you! – and my scalp actually feels better than it has in, well, ever. If you’re interested, I’ll post the length.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        painted_lady August 18, 2012, 12:23 am

        Link. Not lengths. Dammit.

        Also, you’re in the Houston area, right? I’ve got a bunch of stylists that I’ve used – all budget spectrums, too – who all specialize in curly hair. Hot Tops in Montrose is my all-time favorite, but they’re pretty pricey.

        Link
      • avatar

        quixoticbeatnik August 18, 2012, 1:32 am

        Yeah, I am in the Houston area! I didn’t know there were stylists who specialized in curly hair. I live in the Montrose area, so I’ll check out Hot Tops. Although I am a girl on a budget, haha!

        I smelled the veganese conditioner, but didn’t like the smell too much. I might get a sample of the retread conditioner, since I heard that is pretty good as well! Do you do curly wurly and the veganese conditioner? Or just curly wurly every couple of days? Or is that in the curly gurl method and I shouldn’t be asking you, lol.

        Going to check out the link now…my curls are pretty decent, although they are at their best when I use my curl boost mousse from Herbal Essences along with a bit o’ hairspray. My main problem is frizziness and dryness. Also, one side of my head is a bit more wavier than the other side, which is super annoying.

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      • avatar

        painted_lady August 18, 2012, 2:24 am

        I do Curly Wurly plus Veganese once a week, then just Veganese the rest of the time. Retread and my hair just didn’t get along, which was a shame because I loved the smell, but I have a friend who swears by it, so maybe my hair is just weird. I sort of smell like a margarita now, what with the coconut and the citrus.

        The whole process is pretty simple once you have the products you like. Conditioner wash every other day, shampoo and condition once a week, comb it out in the shower with the conditioner in and then don’t touch it while you rinse, put product in it and dry with a diffuser. I cheat and air dry a lot, though for some reason it makes my hair look greasier on the second day, so I usually wash it every day if I’ve air dried it. I sort of look at it as finding what works for you, but I’ve had really good results so far.

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      • avatar

        quixoticbeatnik August 18, 2012, 12:24 am

        I did see something about that online, but didn’t see exactly what the method was! So yes, I’d be interested 🙂

        Link
      • avatar

        painted_lady August 18, 2012, 1:16 am

        http://www.wikihow.com/Follow-the-Curly-Girl-Method-for-Curly-Hair

        One of my favorite parts, the one that seems to make the most difference for me, is the optional “plunking” bit.

        Link
      • avatar

        quixoticbeatnik August 18, 2012, 1:41 am

        Dang, that’s detailed! I really need to get satin pillowcases. I’ve been saying that for months but still haven’t – mostly because they aren’t exactly cheap. but if it’ll give me beautiful hair….

        Link
  • Lyra

    L August 17, 2012, 6:44 pm

    Thank you Wendy for the chance to vent!!! I. Am. So. Stressed.

    This will probably be the last time I am able to DW for a bit because I start teaching in 4 days. 4. Days. And I’m not even CLOSE to being ready. I moved 500 miles from home a week ago, so that was stressful and crazy busy. On top of that I have been working at least 12 hour days (sometimes close to 16 hour days) for the past 5 days. I will be working through the weekend and on Monday. And it WILL GET DONE. It will it will it will.

    On the plus side, I loooove my coworkers! All of them are so great and have been so helpful for me starting my first year teaching. I also love my boss. She’s super amazing and gets me what I want when I want it. It’s awesome! I’ve already been able to order supplies and I’ve gotten all the tech stuff that I need for teaching.

    It’s Friday night and I’m still holed up at school trying to get things done. I have a separate office from my classroom, so I think when I’m here on Monday with everybody else working I’ll just shut my door… Though I love my coworkers, they LOVE to chat.

    Time to get back to work. Here’s hoping I get home at a decent hour!

    Reply Link
    • AKchic_

      AKchic_ August 17, 2012, 6:50 pm

      Good luck! Our teachers in Anchorage started yesterday (I think).

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      painted_lady August 18, 2012, 12:19 am

      Good luck, L! I’ve been thinking about you all week as I’m getting my rooms together (two campuses = two roomfuls of crap). I totally feel you on the back-to-school stress. I’m on my third year and I still get all worked up about this time. I’ll post my frustrations when I have more time, but you will be totally fine. If you have any questions about what to expect, always, always you can email me at talleymarks@me.com.

      Reply Link
      • Lyra

        L August 18, 2012, 10:56 am

        Thanks, painted_lady!! I’ll likely email you at some point soonish…probably once things settle down and my to do list isn’t as long as my arm. I am very lucky to have a great mentor for my first year teaching and I have a GREAT support system at my school, plus I have a ton of great teacher friends who have offered to help if I get in a pickle. I think right now it’s just my to do list that is getting to me. I have to finish writing my handbooks, decorate my classroom, finish writing out my discipline policy, read the crap ton of paper that I got at in service yesterday, digitize my music library (that’s currently in card catalogs), choose music for the kids, write a pretest so I know where they’re at musically, etc. etc. etc. I feel as though it’s never ending.

        BUT a good thing I found out yesterday: I get my first paycheck the last week in August! I had previously thought it would be mid-September, so that makes me ridiculously happy — it means I don’t have to survive on my savings for those extra two weeks!! 🙂

        Link
  • avatar

    Slamy August 17, 2012, 5:46 pm

    Gosh. I can’t believe I have been reading DW for so long. I remember when you announced your pregnancy. I remember when DW was my favorite part of thefrisky! I don’t even read that site anymore.

    I have some really exciting news today. Not only did I get glasses for the first time ever today (and I CAN SEE!!!), but today I got approved for my student loan and am now enrolled in the paralegal certificate program at a fantastic school in my city. In order to be eligible for enrollment, I needed either a four year degree or four years of experience in the field. I just had my four year anniversary at the law firm I work for. The program is expensive and I have been majorly stressing out trying to figure out how I am going to pay for it. After weeks of hair pulling and cussing at the Sallie Mae website, I have finally gotten approved. I got a loan for half, and I am paying the rest using the insurance money from that horrible fucking hailstorm that destroyed my car a couple months ago. I only have to pay back $50 a month, which is totally doable.

    Anyway, I am so excited about this. I am turning 25 at the end of the year and have been working my job for four years. I’ve spent the last year + months trying to figure out what the hell I am going to do, and I feel like I have a real solid plan to becoming more financially stable. Just the thought of not struggling sounds incredible.

    Oh, AND I quit smoking cigarettes a month ago. I am proud of myself. I can actually run a mile without stopping now.

    Reply Link
    • JK

      JK August 17, 2012, 5:53 pm

      Great update! And isn´t that feeling of finally seeing things the best?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Slamy August 17, 2012, 6:04 pm

        It really is! I read a lot (A LOT!) for my job and I just can’t believe how much easier it is with these glasses. 🙂

        Link
    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny August 17, 2012, 6:20 pm

      Glasses are the best. Shopping for new glasses is one of my favorite things to do! (I don’t do it very often, that’s probably why.)

      Reply Link
      • JK

        JK August 17, 2012, 6:41 pm

        I finally have my new prescription, so I´m probably going to go glasses shopping next week. 🙂

        Link
  • avatar

    Ladybug August 17, 2012, 7:23 pm

    Glad to hear everything’s going so well for you, Wendy! Can’t wait to check out the emails and coffee mugs.

    I just finished my last day at my job, so I’m looking forward to a week off to visit assorted family and friends before I start my new gig. I’m also super excited about the new job–the old job wasn’t bad, but the new one involves a shorter commute, more substantive/intersting work, and a slightly larger paycheck. It also comes with a three day trip to Chicago the first week of September, so if anyone wants to get a drink or anything, let me know!

    Changing things up professionally has me in the mood to improve a few more things in my life, like getting my ass back to the gym to get rid of 10 pesky pounds that are entirely too attached to me. I’ve also decided that it’s just wrong for me to live in an area with fantasitc bike trails nearby and not own a bike. I haven’t actually picked out a bike since my 11th birthday, so I’m going to have to find people willing to let me pick their brains to figure out what would work best for me.

    Reply Link
    • katie

      katie August 17, 2012, 8:53 pm

      ahh plan a chicago meetup!!!!

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Kristen August 17, 2012, 7:38 pm

    I love this thread! It feels like a long string of catch-up emails with friends.

    I got six inches cut off my hair a few weeks ago, and it feels great. I love new haircuts. It feels like you could be anyone or anything and start fresh.

    As I mentioned in a thread a couple days ago, I found out last Saturday that I’m pregnant. We both really want kids, but we weren’t planning on having one so soon. I feel embarrassed to tell people we got pregnant on our honeymoon, like we have to couch it with, “Well, we didn’t mean to, but…” instead of just being happy. And as far as being happy goes, I’m still not there yet. I spent the first few days crying, and the last few just kind of thinking, “What did we do?”

    I know that sounds like such a bad attitude, but I’m mostly just scared and trying to figure out this new life of ours. In the last month, we’ve moved, gotten married, and found out we’re 6 weeks pregnant. That’s a lot of change and upheaval in a short amount of time, especially for someone who has never been good at change and transitions. I was planning on spending this fall settling into our new apartment, unpacking, decorating, trying new recipes, etc. etc., and now I feel like all of that has gotten trumped by preparing for a baby. I know I can still do all of those things, but it doesn’t seem as appealing when you’re in the middle of morning sickness. I LOVE food, but now that I’m pregnant, nothing sounds good. I can barely watch Food Network anymore, which is insane for me. I spend all day eating bananas, peanut butter toast and cottage cheese. Who am I?? haha.

    This is just insane and overwhelming. On the plus side, my husband has been amazing and is really excited this happened. He’s out of town this weekend, so I might go spend time with my parents and just relax. We haven’t told anyone about the pregnancy except my father-in-law and brother-in-law (because they moved to California this week and we wanted to tell them in person). I’m not sure when I’ll feel ready to tell anyone else.

    Oh, and I’m feeling guilty because I didn’t take a pregnancy test till I was already over 5 weeks pregnant, and before that I had lots of tequila for my birthday. Can’t help that now, but it’s not the way I wanted to go into this. I had plans! I was going to read books and take prenatal vitamins in advance. Unexpected pregnancies don’t fit into my Type-A personality, haha. Oh, and I miss my wine. A lot.

    Any words of support would be awesome 🙂 I’m so thankful for this site.

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    • avatar

      AKchic August 17, 2012, 7:45 pm

      You don’t owe anyone an explanation about how or why you got pregnant. Just revel in the happiness. And yeah, it can be hard to be happy when you’re praying to the porcelain gods on a daily basis. It usually does get better, I promise.

      Reply Link
      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom August 20, 2012, 9:33 am

        AK is right, you don’t need to tell anyone the baby wasn’t planned. When you’re ready, tell them you’re pregnant and they’ll congratulate you!!! No need to say oops or accident or unplanned. If you wait until you have an ultrasound photo you can show them that and they’ll be so busy oohing and aahing over your photo they won’t be asking if it’s planned. If they actually ask if you were trying for a baby so soon you can say you just got lucky.

        The morning sickness will probably improve after while. I think mine lasted about six weeks each time.

        Enjoy unpacking and moving in and decorating. You would do it anyway and you’d do it with a baby so go ahead and have fun when you feel like it. I know morning sickness kind of puts a damper on the fun of everything.

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    • Le Pinch

      Le Pinch August 17, 2012, 7:46 pm

      Congratulations! I think you will be just fine, you seem to be a very level headed person, and now that you know you are pregnant, I’m sure you will be doing everything you can to make sure you are taking care of yourself and the baby.

      I can’t imagine forgoing wine, but if you do decide to abstain from any drinking while pregnant, think of it this way: When you finally do get to have that first sip, it will be soo soo good.

      Congratulations again!

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      • avatar

        AKchic August 17, 2012, 7:49 pm

        You are sooo right. That first drink after a pregnancy is awesome. Even better if you went past your due date or had to wait longer because of nursing or medical complications.

        It’s like your first time, all over again. The quick buzz, the feeling that you might get caught by someone and get in trouble (some of us were drinking well before 21, or for those of you law-abiding folks – the first time you went to a bar/bought alcohol after you turned 21).

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    • katie

      katie August 17, 2012, 9:01 pm

      you will get through it. you’ll get it done. you just gotta keep telling yourself that!

      i think a baby is waaaay bigger, but like i have to move in a month now, which i just found out. its hard! im like you. i want to plan, look at all the options, get everything figured out, ect… and then shit just happens and there is nothing you can do.

      and i think you should wait until you are happy with it, and then let others know so they can be happy with you. and its ok to be kind of… scared? weirded out? freaked out? now. i feel like thats very normal.

      you got this mama!! (is that freaky or what! haha)

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      • avatar

        Kristen August 17, 2012, 9:46 pm

        Totally freaky! Thanks for making me feel more normal. I think the scariness comes from realizing the magnitude of this. (What do I know about the world that makes me qualified to teach someone else about it?) What a crazy ride. I keep thinking that if my grandparents had 4 kids by the age of 22, surely we can handle one at 25.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom August 20, 2012, 9:42 am

        Even if you were 35 you still wouldn’t know what you were doing until you learn hands on. The first time I had to change my son’s clothes I felt like I knew nothing, and I didn’t. They are so tiny but so solid and you really have no idea what you’re doing but you learn as you do it and within a week you’re a pro at dressing and changing a baby. It takes longer to learn about your baby and learn what to do for your particular baby. Some babies like to be held and rocked and some want to be left alone. Some cry if they are laid down and some want to be laid down. You have to try things and see what works for your baby and come up with what works. Even experienced parents have to do that with a second or third baby so if you feel like you don’t know what to do or what you’re doing that’s perfectly normal and you can still feel that way with a second baby.

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh August 17, 2012, 11:10 pm

      you’ll going to do great! two of my closest friends got pregnant in the week in between not trying and actively trying. they both drank for the first few weeks because they hadn’t started trying yet and didn’t think they were pregnant! their babies are fine 🙂 happy and healthy!

      and you can tell people when you’re ready. i think the whole waiting until after the first trimester is just as much to let the news sink in as it is to be in the ‘safe zone’. sometimes it’s nice to revel in news like that with just your husband 🙂

      and no matter when you got pregnant people who would have something to judge you for. it’s unfortunate but true. don’t live in fear of their reactions!!

      Reply Link
  • Le Pinch

    Le Pinch August 17, 2012, 7:41 pm

    First off, thank you Wendy for making this site and forum such a kickass place. Though I don’t comment too often, I feel my day hasn’t started until I get my daily dose of Dear Wendy. I look forward to the new emails and mugs. I am also very glad to hear that your back is doing better (back pain sucks!), and hopefully it just continues to be smooth sailing from here on out.

    Summer has been ok for me, there has been a lot of tough stuff going on the past four months, but as painful as its been, I know that every hard thing will give me an opportunity to grow and learn something. I have been amazed at how many people I now know truly care about me, and I want to do my best to make them proud. This summer is giving me a chance to really get back to basics- enjoying time with my friends and family, and hopefully getting on a more healing path-physically and emotionally.

    On a happier note, I am so excited that tomorrow I will be meeting with a few fellow DW’ers at the Ferry Building in SF! Everyone seems so sweet in their emails and on fb, and I am really looking forward to finally meeting them face to face, and just having a good time. Squeee!

    Reply Link
    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny August 17, 2012, 11:25 pm

      Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, Le Pinch!!

      Reply Link
  • mandalee

    mandalee August 17, 2012, 7:51 pm

    Yay, Wendy! I’m so glad to hear you are finding time to focus on you. You and my cousin are the two sole reasons why I think I could handle parenthood, even though I know it’s going to drive me crazy. I love how honest you are with all of us. It really puts a lot of things in focus. I won’t be thinking babies for a few years, but my husband and I got a little tipsy on our anniversary earlier this week and started talking future baby names in the vaguest terms, which is a huge step for us.

    As for what’s new with me, I am still recovering from double jaw surgery and a surprise! nose job. My doctor surprised me after surgery that he “fixed my nose” while he was in there. I never had a problem with my nose, so he unknowingly has now given me a complex about something that was changed without my permission. I think I asked my friends and family about my “old nose” about a hundred times in the last three weeks. I’m also really struggling with looking in the mirror lately. I wasn’t fully prepared for how weird I would feel looking in the mirror and not seeing a face I recognized. Everyone tells me I don’t look that different, but to me, I don’t see me in the mirror. I’m starting to think that the pre-surgery therapy session is something I should have taken my doctor up on lol

    Besides that, this summer has been great. I made new friends, I love the city I live in, and I’ve put some serious roots into my plan to open up a preschool in the future. My only regret is that I haven’t been in the beach once. I lived on the Maryland coast for 3 years, so summer just doesn’t feel real without the beach.

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    • avatar

      Slamy August 17, 2012, 9:26 pm

      Wtf? Is that legal? I am sure you don’t look bad but that just seems kind of messed up to me. Like when you’re getting your eyebrows waxed and the lady says “you want me to wax your mustache too?” and you drive home thinking “…wtf” (only worse)

      Reply Link
      • mandalee

        mandalee August 17, 2012, 11:29 pm

        It is legal, I guess? I hope? lol I know I had to sign a waiver that accounted for “additional medical procedures if needed”, but I assumed they meant like a blood transfusion if needed or fixing a broken tooth. I wasn’t really banking on face changes. They had to move some things around and my nose was “a bit in the way” so they made some changes to it. It looks fine, but just…weird. I now have the only small nose in my big Greek family. lol

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      • MELH

        MELH August 18, 2012, 5:48 pm

        I am pretty sure thats not legal. I would imagine that waiver covers emergency procedures necessary due to the procedure you are having done. I don’t think it covers just doing any cosmetic surgery. I would think about contacting a lawyer, because I do not think that is ok!

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      • mandalee

        mandalee August 18, 2012, 6:44 pm

        Yeah, I think they framed it necessary, I guess. They were moving the upper jaw upward and the nasal cavity was in the way and caused bleeding. So I get why it was done, but I just would have appreciated a heads up beforehand. A simple “Hey, sometimes we run into X and we have to do Y” would have been fine. I’m not mad because I understand it needed to be done, but I guess I’m more upset about not knowing and how he presented it like “Hey, you know you’re big crooked nose isn’t so crooked or big anymore!” Gee, thanks lol

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  • samantha

    Samantha August 17, 2012, 8:15 pm

    So I read this site everyday, but don’t comment much. I love seeing what everyone is up to. I’m getting married in 15 days!!! I’m excited, but I also wish there was other exciting happenings going on. I hate that in the last two weeks before the wedding I’ve turned into “that girl”. You know, the one who can only talk/think about her wedding. I’ll be really glad when it’s done and I can get back to real life!

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    • avatar

      Kristen August 17, 2012, 8:22 pm

      Congratulations! I hope you have an amazing day!

      Reply Link
      • samantha

        Samantha August 17, 2012, 11:28 pm

        Awww, thanks so much! I read your post above and congratulations!! Although I’m on the pill currently, I think I’d be very happy for a honeymoon baby (but it’s not in our current plan). You’ll be great.

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    • mandalee

      mandalee August 17, 2012, 11:35 pm

      Yay congrats, I love weddings! I hope your wedding day is amazing! Getting married is a huge step, so that’s pretty exciting on it’s own. I was the same way as you. I remember being so relieved when I woke up the day after the wedding and realized it was over and we had no more planning to do. Such a relief!!

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    • avatar

      Taylor August 17, 2012, 11:58 pm

      Yay! I got married this summer, and really enjoyed it! Love your wedding, be that girl who soaks it all in. Take moments when you can to really develop a memory of the moment you are in 🙂

      Reply Link
  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark August 17, 2012, 8:28 pm

    Trying to stay positive.

    So I’ve been performing ALOT with my new groovy improv team. Hell, we have three shows this coming week alone. The team name is STUTTERING LUMBERJACK — so go check us out/like us on Facebook if you are in Los Angeles and wanna come out… The shows are all indie and thus CHEAP!

    Oh, and I, too, recently got a new haircut and it can make all the difference. Hell, I’m so hot, I’m jacking it with a mirror again! (…Just kidding.)

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      AKchic August 17, 2012, 8:43 pm

      If you ever play in Anchorage, I’ll definitely stop by.

      Reply Link
      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark August 17, 2012, 9:39 pm

        I would like to get up to Alaska. I envision a vast sea of lumberjacks… Surely one or two of the hottest ones are lonely up there and NOT looking for their Sarah, but instead their Todd.

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  • avatar

    rachel August 17, 2012, 10:21 pm

    Glad for your update Wendy, and for everybody else’s too!

    My life is kind of insane. I just defended my PhD a month ago, and today was my first day at my postdoc. My first day came a little later than I’d been hoping because of some paperwork messes and waiting for other people, but I got a paycheck today which was quite needed. In general I’m excited about the job (though of course secretly terrified that I won’t be able to do it well)! Stresses right now: 1) Money. Now that I’ve finally got money in the bank, I can breathe a little bit, but I need to get a budget underway and try to stick to it so I can pay down some debt now that I make grownup money. 2) Starting a new job is scary and I still have a bunch of work from my phd to finish up (getting papers out and stuff) that I haven’t been motivated to do. 3) The stupid movers lost a bunch of my stuff. SO annoyed. And (shockingly) their claims department has been impossible to reach. I haven’t thought of anything that’s gone that I’m heartbroken about, though some of it I’ll be kind of sad if they don’t find. And of course I’ll get money for it, but who knows how long that will take, so I’ll be a bit short on clothes for a while. 4) I moved to a new town in a new state for this postdoc. So far it seems okay, not exciting, but ok. But I don’t really know many people (the few people I do know are just sort of casual acquaintances) and my boyfriend and I are going to be long distance for probably the next 2 years (at least. ugh).

    I also have this mindset that since I’m starting fresh in a new place that I want to enact some changes that I have been lazy about. I really need to lose weight – like it’s gotten past vanity and I worry for my health if I don’t get my shit together. And there are some other things that I’ve been putting off in my life that I need to suck it up and get to.

    Reply Link
  • SweetsAndBeats

    SweetsAndBeats August 17, 2012, 10:44 pm

    I’ve had a lot of bad effing shit happen in the last 3 weeks. But, I have one good thing:

    I finally got a real job. It’s in an office, actually requires me to use my brain, and will pay me exactly the national median income level. I start on Monday and I’m very, very, very excited.

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    • avatar

      Trixy Minx August 17, 2012, 10:57 pm

      I didn’t know you started so soon. Yaaaaayyy!!! Even with all the bad crap happening something good came out in the end. Don’t give up! <3

      Reply Link
      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats August 17, 2012, 10:59 pm

        Yes! And thank you for being there for me… Honestly, it’s friends like you who keep me from going off the deep end.

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      • avatar

        Trixy Minx August 17, 2012, 11:00 pm

        Some good ol’ tough lovin is what you need. 🙂

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats August 17, 2012, 11:02 pm

        Yeah lol… I have also started going to a therapist again because of the depression, and it’s helping

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      • avatar

        Trixy Minx August 17, 2012, 11:08 pm

        With everything going on I am really glad you decided to do that to work out what happened.
        P.S. you just reminded me that I’ve forgotten again to make an appointment with a psychiatrist for anti-depressants.

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      • avatar

        painted_lady August 18, 2012, 12:26 am

        Yay happy pills! I get mine on Monday!

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  • avatar

    Guy Friday August 18, 2012, 12:22 am

    So these past few weeks have been crazy for me. Hope no one minds the long post I’m about to write, but it’s cathartic and all to write it out. . .

    So, some background: It’ll be three years as of November that I’ve been working at the same firm, and while my boss is pretty much a punch line in the local legal community, it’s a steady pay check, decent benefits, not a huge chunk out of my billables (I give her roughly 47% or so of what I bill, which is not a terrible split for a lawyer in my kind of practice), but this firm is supposed to be a starter firm. Like, you work there for 18 months – 2 years, and then she expects you to quit and move on. And she wants me out, believe me, but right now I’m the only lawyer in the firm making her a profit, so she can’t kill the golden goose, you know? I put the hold on looking for jobs until after I got married a few months back, but now with the economy as it is . . . well, there are a lot of firms that want me, but none can afford to pay me a decent salary. And now my boss has taken to trying to find ANY grounds she can to fire me. Screw up a billing line, don’t file enough motions . . . whatever. She’s looking for a reason.

    So a month ago the Office of the Public Defender (OPD) up here offered a two day training program next month up at the Kalahari resort and water park in the Dells. The training would be for Termination of Parental Rights cases, which are incredibly depressing but insanely lucrative; you get on the OPD’s TPR list, and you can guarantee a steady stream of cases coming your way. So there are 40 spots, and at least 100 applicants, but I wrote a detailed application and begged and pleaded, and they let me in. So I’m thrilled, and then my boss says “The firm will pay for tuition and the hotel” (which is huge, because it’s a small firm, and she NEVER pays for training). So, it being a 3 hour drive to the training, and it starting at 8 AM on a Thursday, I plan on going up Wednesday night and staying two nights. Common sense, right? And, seeing the opportunity, I tell my wife she should come too, have a mini-vacation, which is usually what lawyers do at these kind of conferences. So I book everything, submit the bill to my boss . . . and she proceeds to inform me that she only intended to pay for one night, and that she expected me to drive there Thursday morning, and that my costing her the extra night of hotel makes her seriously reconsider my position at the firm. So I freak out, negotiate a compromise (I bill a few extra hours this year to square away the price difference), and dodge a bullet.

    But here’s the thing: I’m done. I can’t defend this woman anymore. I have to leave. The work environment is literally making me sick. So I’m thrilled when a couple of my friends at the firm, also fed up with the boss, say “Let’s join forces and form a firm!” We agree to put it off for a month to gather some information (and to let me get through the training so my boss can’t pull the plug on it), and then we’ll sit down and discuss how we’d go about it. But as I start gathering information, I just keep getting one piece of crap after another. The perfect office falls through; the building foreclosed and no leases are occurring. Then I find out the OPD is hitting the end of their billing cycle next year, meaning they’re freezing all payments on bills submitted to them as of February 15, 2013 until the new budget in July, meaning if I start a new firm I won’t be getting paid on any of my bills. So I figure I could take out a loan or get a line of credit — new businesses do that all the time, right? — but where’s the collateral? I’m in the best financial shape of the three of us, and that’s because my wife has a large amount saved up for a future house; I can’t take that money from her to invest into this. So I’m just terrified right now, because I can’t stay where I’m at, but I can’t risk not being able to help pay for the bills my wife and I have, and I get more and more overwhelmed thinking about it, and my body just shut down today from the stress. I was in bed for most of the afternoon passed out, threw up everything I ate, etc. It’s been horrible. I sent my wife down to spend time with her dad at their lake house (and I know I sound like a tool when I say that, but I don’t know what else to call it; it’s a house next to a lake) because I don’t want her to see me like this.

    Anyway, I’m calm at the moment. I listened to our first dance song (“Everything” by Michael Buble) a couple of times, and I remembered how that was my ring tone for my wife since basically the first time I met her, and how I made myself sick trying to memorize all the choreography I learned for it so that everyone at the wedding would think I was a good dancer, and I couldn’t help but laugh at myself. Then I went through our wedding photos, and reminisced for a little, and grounded myself in the reality that I still have a lot going for me. But I just don’t know how I’m going to handle this job thing. It’s scary as hell taking that leap into opening my own firm. I mean, has anyone opened their own major business — storefront and customers and everything — that can give me suggestions on how they got it funded and up and running? Not necessarily in the marketing sense, but in the bricks-and-mortar, keeping-the-lights-on sense.

    (Oh, what also helped: listening to Pentatonix. If you don’t know who they are, look them up on Youtube. They’re freaking amazing. And when you’re done with that, look up Kevin Olsula, their beatboxer, doing the classical piece “Julie-O.” It’s ridiculously awesome.)

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      painted_lady August 18, 2012, 12:30 am

      LOVE Pentatonix!!!!! I saw them perform on whatever that show was and saw their “Love Lockdown” performance as my first experience hearing them, and I was hooked. They are wonderful.

      I’m sorry you’re stressed – wish I had any words of wisdom other than that you’re doing the right thing leaving, I think. Your boss sounds insane.

      Reply Link
    • katie

      katie August 18, 2012, 9:13 am

      aw, guy, i dont have any experience opening a business, but i do have experience in a job where everyone was on their toes and being threatened to be fired all the time. its terrible, its stressful, and it should be illegal. your job shouldnt be making you physically sick.

      i say you just take a different job, even if its a pay cut, for your own sanity until your can start your own place.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:55 am

      I’m sorry too Guy that you’re going through this! You can have the greatest job in the world but if the people you work with (or for) suck, the whole job sucks. I agree with Katie – I think you should look for a new job. I have never started my own firm but I know a lot of friends who have. One thing you could do is call up solo practitioners to see if they have any extra space in their office. One of my friends rents an office in a space with a bunch of other solo practitioners and they share a secretary and split other overhead costs. I’d bet there are a lot of them with empty offices that they’d love to rent out to you, you know?

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      • avatar

        Guy Friday August 18, 2012, 10:34 am

        I’ve thought about that, AP. I have. But the reason I’m hesitant to do that — at least as a solo practitioner — is that, silly as this may sound, I take a VERY strict interpretation of the “attorney-client privilege” rule. If I’m out sick or otherwise detained, I can call a coworker to cover my court appearance, because the privilege imputes to the other members of my firm. But if I’m solo, and I do what most solos do — which is they cover each other’s cases — it just feels like the same thing if I asked the guy in the firm across town to cover the case. It feels like a breach of confidentiality. I know, it’s silly to think that way, but I can’t help it.

        Has anyone ever used those “virtual offices” before? I’m looking at them, because they’d come fully furnished and have all the support staff I’d need, but they charge $0.05/copy on the shared copier, and it’s not like I have enough room in the office to put another copier in, you know? Any thoughts?

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      • avatar

        temperance August 18, 2012, 1:28 pm

        I am a law student and I worked as an admin in a shared office space that did virtual offices beforehand. It depends on what you’re looking for, but my advice is negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.

        You can get packages where you’re only using a phone and physical mail service through them (or getting your own 1-800 number, which is what I strongly advise, so you can take it with you when your firm grows) and renting an office on an as-needed hourly or daily rate to meet with clients. You can bring in family photos, etc., and book the offices in advance so that you have the same one so that your clients think that you have the office.

        The sales staff will overprice, so seriously work that shit. Ask me other specific questions if you need to!!

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  • Dear Wendy

    Wendy August 18, 2012, 6:38 am

    For anyone who may have missed this upthread: AKChic’s having some trouble affording school supplies for her kids this year (she has four) since a bonus she was counting on got canceled and things are tight for her right now. I thought we could help and asked if she’d share her paypal address, which she sent to me privately. If you’d like to contribute, please paypal me any small amount to wendy@dearwendy.com with the message “akchic” and I will make sure it’s added to the total amount that I will paypal to her Monday afternoon (school starts wednesday). If 10-20 of us each give a little bit, she’ll be all set. It’s an easy, small thing to do, and good karma, too. You never know when you’ll be the one who needs some help! Thanks, everyone!!

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 9:19 am

      I’m a huge fan of school supplies – so come on, people, a little bit x all of us = a big help to AKChic’s kids! Come on, all the cool kids are doin’ it.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy August 18, 2012, 11:14 am

      Thanks! By the way, I’ve asked AKChic what the estimated cost is for her kids’ school supplies and I will let everyone know when/if we reach that goal so no one sends more money than what is needed. Thank you!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 19, 2012, 7:40 pm

        Thank you to everyone who has contributed to our collection for AKchic to buy school supplies. We have collected over $200, which I think is enough to cover the supplies. This is a generous community and I’m so happy we can help out one of our members, even in a small way, who could use a break.

        I’m going to close the collection now. Thanks for your generosity!

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl August 18, 2012, 11:18 am

      School supplies are one of the best things about being a kid. I spent an hour walking around the Walmart school supply set up the other day and came home with some new markers 🙂 I’m happy to help some one awesome’s (AKChic) kids enjoy the amazingness of a fresh pack of markers!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 6:52 pm

        Fresh markers are amazing. But fresh crayons is what made me swoon. So beautiful, perfectly sharped, so many colors!!!!!!!!!! Ayyyyyyy, I’m going nuts. Seriously, this time a year I wish I had kids so I had an excuse to spent hours in the supply area of Target. I’m sure when I have kids they are going to hate school just to spite me. Those asshole (future) kids of mine.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 6:56 pm

        * perfectly sharpened. i’m drunk. katie tricked me into heavily drinking today.

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    • bittergaymark

      bittergaymark August 18, 2012, 12:01 pm

      It’s a hilariously sad day when our nation doesn’t even pay for school supplies. Seriously. The two major parties have already blown HALF A BILLION dollars on this fucked up election, and yet there is no money for school supplies? Seriously, WTF, America. W.T.F?

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson August 19, 2012, 1:21 pm

        Don’t even get me started Mark. It is so frustrating. I mean how many people actually vote different than their political views? I mean if you’re a democrat you’re going to vote democrat. Even if the candidate sucks because it’s better than the alternative. And if you’re republican you’re going to vote for that yahoo even if he sucks because it’s better than the other guy. So why all the debates? Our country is China’s bitch and we’re arguing and slinging shit like a bunch of 4 year olds. The whole thing is a joke.

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    • avatar

      AKchic August 20, 2012, 12:23 pm

      Hi everyone!

      I don’t usually hop online during the weekends so I can spend as much time with the kids as possible. Especiallly since this is the last weekend before school starts (there was a lot of baking involved this weekend, and laundry, always laundry).

      Thank you all for the support, we all really do appreciate it. We are going to go shopping tonight and I will get pictures of the kids with their new school supplies.

      Again, thank you all so much! *internet hugs and high fives all around*

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  • avatar

    scattol August 18, 2012, 9:03 am

    With respect to get back into shape, you might want to look at this Nova episode: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/marathon-challenge.html where they train newbies for the boston marathon. I posted it in the forum and people liked it.

    The take away is that aerobic exercise will have profound positive effect on your health (watch, you will be surprised) and that everyone can do it (but it takes time).

    Good luck with the bike

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      jlyfsh August 18, 2012, 1:28 pm

      loved that nova special so much!!

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    GatorGirl August 18, 2012, 11:24 am

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better Wendy!!

    This week starts the beginning of an insanely busy 10 months culminating with our wedding. I’m super pumped to do all of the awesome things coming up but am exhausted already. I also took a part time job (in addition to my full time job) and I think it’s just too much for me. Late nights and too many hours- we are fine with out the extra income so I might end up quitting here soon.

    On a super positive note I’ve been realizing more and more each day what a wonderful partnership I’ve created with my fiancé. He is an amazing man and I’m so so excited to marry him. I’ve never had so much trust in or love for anyone.

    Also football is back very very ridiculously soon! DW fantasy league is happening!

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  • avatar

    Caris August 18, 2012, 12:42 pm

    Glad you are getting better!

    Second semester started on the 9th. Which is a good thing I guess because I was getting pretty bored. I’m doing genetics and ecology this semester (34 hours of class between the 2 of them). So far I am liking genetics. Ecology classes are unfortunately boring so far. Hopefully this semester will be better than the last 2. Last year I had to drop out of physics and ended up failing calculus. I re-did physics over the summer and passed (yay!). And then last semester started great but then I dropped out of Biochem because i just could not take it. The amount of stuff we have to learn is ridiculous and I was basically having tests every 3-4 weeks because I was also doing biometry (which I passed yay). What sucks the most is that I actually like biochem :/. But I needed to give biometry priority cause I need it to be able to do genetics and ecology.

    So here it is to hoping that I will do GREAT in both genetics and ecology.

    note: I live in Argentina, and going to UBA (university of Buenos Aires), I don’t have to pay ridic. amounts of money like you ppl do in the US. Downside is that I go to school for (at least) 6 years.

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    • avatar

      Caris August 18, 2012, 1:12 pm

      actually it was exams every 2 weeks at one point

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    • katie

      katie August 18, 2012, 2:11 pm

      if i didn’t cook, i was going to study genetics. I’m super jealous! haha

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    temperance August 18, 2012, 1:22 pm

    I got engaged in early July, which surprised me and made me super happy. I’m switching off from a migraine med that made me gain a ton of weight to one that should help me lose a bunch, which is kind of awesome. We’re supposed to be getting married in March. LOL. We’ll see.

    I’ve had a fairly shitty summer, with my aunt dying due to a drunk driving piece of SHIT hitting her car. I’m not dealing super well, honestly.

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    • avatar

      rachel August 18, 2012, 1:52 pm

      I’m so sorry to hear about your aunt!

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  • katie

    katie August 18, 2012, 2:10 pm

    you guys. OMG. i am currently DW-ing from Addie Pray’s condo in awesome chicago. the air show is going on pretty much next door.

    my life has somehow come full circle or something. we also shared a whole bottle of champagne with breakfast- maybe thats it?

    this is awesome.

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      Caris August 18, 2012, 2:48 pm

      so much envy

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      McLovin August 18, 2012, 2:58 pm

      Nice. You both have about 7 hours to fly out to Portland. The beer garden at the County Fair opens at 7pm tonight and it’s literally about a 2 minute walk from my house. It’s important to travel east to west when drinking and changing time zones, that way your buzz legitimately lasts hours longer.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 6:23 pm

      You guys, Katie is a doll. A gem. The little sister I never had. First, she collected a shit ton of boxes from her work for me, for my upcoming move. Then she brought them to me. Then she brunched with me. Then she sat with me while I cleaned, did laundry, packed, while entertaining me with conversation. Then she humored me by looking at my scrap books from my summer in the French Alps in 1998 and my year in Paris in 1999 – 2000. (Back when my life was really adventurous.) Now we are watching Friends reruns while we (I) drink some fancy vodka with red bull. Meanwhile, the Air & Water show is making loud noises outside my apartment. I’d be in favor of NO Air & Water show and using the money they’d waste in fuel instead to… provide free school supplies! But no one listens to me.

      All in all, great day.

      xoxo, AP

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      • MaterialsGirl

        MaterialsGirl August 18, 2012, 8:06 pm

        And you get to hang out with me tomorrow!

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        painted_lady August 18, 2012, 10:41 pm

        I am so jealous you get to hang out with Katie! You guys should make a trip to the Texas coast sometime so I can hang out with you, too! Also, we have some fabulous bars and restaurants around here, just sayin’.

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      bethany August 20, 2012, 12:44 pm

      I hate you so much right now!
      (but I’m really just jealous)

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    Ravage Maladie August 18, 2012, 3:19 pm

    Hi Wendy, I’m so happy you feel this way!! I’m looking forward to seeing more things like ‘Alphabet’ on here.

    I just got back from a month-long trip to the USA (California: pretty much all the wildparks, L.A. and San Francisco) and I’ve had an absolute BLAST. Now that I’m back here in Holland, I feel so revived and full of creativity. Also San Francisco is our new favorite place in the world:).

    Thank you right back for all the work you put into the site and the advice! It’s really a pleasure coming here (not to mention very informative). THANKS.

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  • MELH

    MELH August 18, 2012, 5:43 pm

    I am having a really tough time right now. I am still at my job with the judge, and I am very very unhappy there. I live in constant fear of making her upset. Its not even that I’m afraid of getting fired. I could care less honestly if that did happen. Its preferable to the torture of living in constant fear of getting yelled at. I have been crying in the mornings before work. This weekend was ruined because I found a mistake I made and now I have to think all weekend about how she will react. Its not even that major of a mistake, pretty much a minor annoyance to her but just compounds a bigger mistake I made in scheduling and overloading us with decisions to do. I am just so over this job. I am hoping the woman I am filling in for comes back soon or I can leave for another job.
    Other than my job, I am really happy with how things are going in my life. I spend so much time at my job though, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I need to keep working because we can’t afford to live on just my husband’s salary. I’m doing my best to just deal with it and try not to let it stress me out, but I am still waking up in the mornings in cold sweats/my heart pounding. I cry alot, especially before work. Any advice on coping with a terrible job until I can get out?

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy August 18, 2012, 6:26 pm

      So sorry to hear that. Are there any other jobs that may pay close to what you make that you could do instead? have you and your husband sat down and figured out exactly how much money you’d have to bring in to maintain the lifestyle you want and then think about what other jobs may pay that and be a match for your skill set? Being at a job that sucks your sole just ins’t any way to live. I know — i’ve been there!

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray August 18, 2012, 6:48 pm

      MELH, I’m really sorry to hear how miserable you are – I remember you mentioning that you were clerking for a horrible judge. By my calculations, you’ve been clerking for one year now – that is enough – that is great – that is a perfectly reasonable time to move on…. one year as a clerk is stellar – fantastic for your resume – something to be proud of and show off, girl! … so I think it’s time for you to take this experience and parlay it into your career. I’d start looking elsewhere – I’d start looking for associate litigation positions – you’re a shoe in! (Unless you want to be a career clerk – but you don’t, do you? If you do, you could apply for a clerkship with a different judge in a different division – like, go criminal if you’re civil or whatnot – and to the extent YOUR judge or THE OTHER judge will find that bizarre that you’re jumping ship so to speak, you explain it’s because of your deep interest in learning [insert the other judge’s area], and voila! No hurt feelings, no awkwardness…. and most importantly, you get away from that evil biatch.

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    • katie

      katie August 18, 2012, 9:48 pm

      honestly, go apply at a grocery store or something. there is no job that is that important. you should not have to live like that. it should be illegal. people should be able to file complaints against bosses like that and they should lose their jobs… its terrible. i hate hearing about it.

      do whatever you can to get out. who cares if the other girl isnt ready to come back? OF COURSE she doesnt want to come back if her boss is so terrible. just go. leave her to be. hopefully she will crumble without anyone and have to be fired or something.

      can you file a complaint against her? arent judges supposed to adhere to a code of conduct?

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    • avatar

      iseeshiny August 18, 2012, 10:36 pm

      Wow, that sounds terrible 🙁 I would send an email that goes along the lines of:

      “Dear Horrible Boss, I did a bad thing and accidentally _____________. I’m sorry, I know this means you have to ____________. I’ve ____________ to fix it on my end, and __________ to keep it from happening again. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

      Owning the mistake, apologizing for the inconvenience, and telling them it won’t happen again. It will mollify all but the most unreasonable people. Sadly it sounds like your boss is not reasonable, so sending it via email means you can get through the whole spiel without being interrupted so she can tell you how she’s miserable and taking it out on you, with the added bonus of documenting the whole situation and being the not-crazy person. Everyone makes mistakes.

      I can’t really help you with the yelling in the workplace, because I have never had a chronic yeller as a boss, but my dad used to yell a lot when he was mad and what I would do is lower my gaze and nod like a bobble-head and appear as attentive and sympathetic as possible, and whenever there was a pause make some sort of apology or agreement. And yes, find another job as soon as possible, because this constant state of fear will begin to affect your health if it hasn’t already. Chances are if she’s been in her field for a long time other people will have heard how hateful she is and won’t hold leaving against you.

      I’m so sorry you’re in such a shitty situation. Remember that her yelling has nothing to do with you or your worth as a person. You are awesome.

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      • MELH

        MELH August 19, 2012, 9:32 am

        Thanks everyone! Addie, I’ve been there for about 5 months, I started in March. I was supposed to be there for 6 months until the regular clerk who took a leave of absence comes back. However, most people doubt she is coming back (I wonder why), and I know for a fact she wants at least another month. Another judge in the courthouse is looking for someone, and I just told her I had committed to 6 months. No one needs to know I know that may not be the case, so I just approach it like I am preparing for being unemployed in September.
        I am looking really hard for another job. I have been applying to everything I can find, I just have not had any luck at all. I mean, I know hiring is terrible right now, but I haven’t even gotten so much as an interview, which sets me into a panic that my choice is going to be stay at this job I hate to keep a foot in the door in the legal field, or leave for anything I can get an try to explain why when I want to get back in the legal field.
        I have emailed her about the mistake, which she apparently is not checking this weekend, so now it will just look weird when I get in on Monday since I never email her at work. I always own up to my mistakes, and I try not to make them again. There’s just so many mistakes you can make when you’re expected to know everything even though you were hastily trained, and you’re expected to be perfect.
        I’m hoping I’ll break through soon and be able to leave, because as happy as I am with everything else in my life, its hard to enjoy that when you spend so much time at a place you hate.

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        Guy Friday August 19, 2012, 10:49 am

        Well, if you read my above novel-like post, clearly I can empathize 😉 Yeah, the market sucks the big one right now, but I think the comments made by AP to mine do apply; you could always hang a shingle out and take cases in your field, or do document review (which is boring as hell but does pay the bills). But as much as it sucks, keep this in mind: don’t underestimate the fact that toughing it out may well be a badge of honor in its own right to firms in the area who know the judge and what the judge is like. I doubt you’re the first clerk to get this treatment and all, right? So there’s a network of former clerks out there who can relate. I won’t deny that I’ve gotten my name in conversations for employment simply on the basis of “Holy crap. You’ve worked for [my boss] that long? And you’ve survived it?”

        I wish you the best of luck. It’s a shame you’re not in my neck of the woods, because I’m looking for a partner for a new firm . . . 😛

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      • MELH

        MELH August 19, 2012, 5:08 pm

        You are right- people do consider it like a badge of honor. Most lawyers know how tough she is on them in Court, but they respect her because she moves her cases on efficiently and she gives well thought out decisions. But I have had people who worked with her former clerks comment that they know how tough it is. It just wears you down after a while.
        Soloing is an option, but it scares me to death! Especially since I am just starting out, I don’t even know how I would get clients! I am just hoping and praying that something comes along and gets me out of here, or that the other clerk comes back, because at this point, I would rather be unemployed than as miserable as I am!

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  • avatar

    Sue Jones August 18, 2012, 5:51 pm

    Glad you are feeling better. The first year of babyhood is pretty much a trainwreck for the mother’s body with the weight gain, lack of sleep, throwing your back out from carrying your baby. By the time the baby is 5 you will feel like you can come up for air…. One thing I did when my son was about 3 is that my husband started working evenings. So I tended to crash out when the baby crashed out and got 12 hours of sleep per night. I did that for about a year to catch up! And where I live they have nice health clubs with childcare for a few dollars for 2 hours. That saved my butt and the extra expense was well worth it so I could work out! I dropped the membership once he was in school because I could find less expensive ways but during the baby and toddler years when working out meant staying in shape and maintaining my sanity, I gladly forked over the money! Hang in there! The first year is as difficult as it is amazing!

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  • avatar

    Caris August 18, 2012, 8:11 pm

    I dyed my hair (my bangs) blue. I’M SO HAPPY 😀 😀 😀

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      painted_lady August 18, 2012, 10:44 pm

      It looks so hot! I miss being able to dye my hair weird colors. Why is that not acceptable for teachers???

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        Caris August 19, 2012, 10:21 am

        There are so many silly rules for teachers 🙁

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  • MaterialsGirl

    MaterialsGirl August 18, 2012, 8:18 pm

    Hey guys. Not too much new here. I feel like my life is always a slight variation of itself. Lots of running, racing, cooking, attempting to find uses for all the veggies in my CSA. I did start swimming at lunchtime, and it’s been fun! I found an outdoor park district pool (50yards) that’s incredibly picturesque. Trying to get SOME muscle tone in my arms. It seems especially this far into the running season my legs just eat all the muscle from every where else on my body. Like my boobs. They are gone. Probably won’t make an appearance again until Christmas. Oh wait, maybe even later than that since I have a half marathon early December. Boo.
    I’ve been very happy to have the opportunity to get out dodge with AP these last two weekends. We had a greAt trip to lake Geneva last weekend and are heading to the dunes tomorrow. I love bein outside!
    Also: apple season is coming up. This makes me smile. I can’t wait to can apple butter
    Other than that: I wish our raises would get here sooner. They were submitted and are retroactive to July first but last year they were lazy or stupid and just whatever and didn’t it the check and make the change until October. Boo!!

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  • avatar

    painted_lady August 18, 2012, 11:18 pm

    So, without dwelling too much, this has been a rough summer for me. Some fun stuff has happened, like my best friend coming to visit a few times and both of us developing wicked tans on the beach and by the pool at my mom’s condo (I have a tan!!! That never happens!). I got to make a trip to San Francisco which was tons of fun, and my mom and I just got back from a trip to Austin that ended rather badly (read the forums and ALWAYS CHECK YOUR HOTEL ROOM CAREFULLY!) but was so much fun otherwise. I got some new clothes for school as I’m trying to develop a little more funky vintage look, and I’m taking care of myself physically – lots of gym time, healthy eating, vitamins, being better to my hair and my skin. Mentally I’m a mess, though I’m on my way to fixing that. I’ve exhausted all other options and finally admitted I need pharmaceutical assistance, which my insurance made me wait over a week to approve just in case I was using it as an aid to quit smoking, which they don’t cover (don’t even get me started). I have good days and bad days. Yesterday was good – nothing was rattling me, Walter and I had a good long walk last night, we laughed a lot, I got some writing done. Then today I was supposed to leave the house to meet up with my mom at a specific time to head to the memorial service for a friend’s husband (didn’t know him at all, just going in support of her), so one of those things you really shouldn’t be late to, and I had a total meltdown over not being able to find a pair of shoes and it being hot upstairs, and I was half an hour late meeting my mom. I start the antidepressants Monday, and honestly, I’m just ready to feel normal again.

    Part of what I think is at least exacerbating the situation is I’ve got thyroid issues happening, and they’re proving really resistant to being fixed. My last blood draw showed that my levels of TRH are nearly double what they were (they were already WAY high), so my thyroid is ridiculously low now. Which would explain why I’ve gained four pounds this summer after hitting the gym hard 5-6 days a week and nearly starved myself. And no, it’s not muscle – I’m up a dress size.

    School starts in a week, and I go back for inservice Monday. I’m split between two campuses, and no one seems to know where I’m supposed to be Monday morning, nor what I’m even teaching at one campus. I was also surprised with the gift of a second classroom, which is great news, except I didn’t know a thing about it when I went out Monday and spent all my classroom budget (out of my own pocket) on supplies for the first room, which I thought was my only room. I was told I’d be sharing a classroom with another teacher, so I’m not sure how I feel about all this. Plus, I can’t even get in the new room as the janitors haven’t finished buffing the floors, so it doesn’t really make a difference anyway. Looks like I’ll be pulling some late nights next week…sigh….

    BUT, on a positive note, I did force myself out of the house today, thanks to some very gentle prompting by Walter, I got to listen to some great blues and drink awesome beer at the memorial service, and I got to see a few friends I haven’t seen in a couple of years. I have plans to put in some more pool time this weekend and next before school starts, and since no one seems to care where I go Monday, I’m going to go to the high school because I have more friends there. Also, Friday lunches begin this week – the fine arts faculty at the high school holds a weekly department meeting which mostly involves the department head bringing in a home cooked meal and everyone else pitching in dessert, and this lady can cook. At the high school, I definitely work with what I’d call “my people,” so that makes life much, much easier.

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    • avatar

      painted_lady August 18, 2012, 11:23 pm

      *TSH, not TRH.

      Also, Wendy, while I totally understand being bigger than you’d like has zero to do with what other people think you look like, I have to say you looked great when we met up in Austin in the spring. I’d read you saying that you’re more of a curvy gal, which usually translates to being on the heavier side, but you are tiny.

      And I’m glad you’re feeling better. Back injuries are the worst – there’s no real way to get comfortable, and every movement can hurt.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 19, 2012, 6:39 am

        Thanks, PL.

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      Ravage Maladie August 19, 2012, 6:06 am

      Hi! I just wanted to say a friend of mine has thyroid issues: at first she had Grave’s disease – where her thyroid worked way too fast – and then, due to medication and loss of function, her thyroid worked way too slow for a while. During that time, she was not only very tired, but also thoroughly depressed. When I read your story I thought of that. Not that it makes it any easier to fix, but if/once you get the thyroid issues under control, hopefully that will help with your mental issues as well? Depression and the thyroid are closely related from what I understand.

      My friend is now on medication to help her thyroid work better. She has also turned into a major health nut and yoga teacher:), which she claims helps a lot with balancing her body.

      Anyway, I hope you’ll feel better soon!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 19, 2012, 6:38 am

        I’ve talked a little bit about it with Painted_Lady, but it’s worth repeating: I was diagnosed with thyroid disease when I was pregnant (Hashimotos, which means sometimes I can be hypothyroid and sometimes hyperthryoid), and it’s been a real bitch trying to find the right dosage of medication post-partum as my hormones settle back down. I have definitely had a couple bouts of depression and it’s no joke. Also, my energy level just isn’t as high as usual, and I’ve had trouble losing weight.

        I hope you can find a treatment that works for you, PL, and get to feeling like yourself again!

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        painted_lady August 19, 2012, 12:05 pm

        Thanks, Wendy! I guess the silver lining in all of this is, I seem to be past my irrational fear of needles that I’ve had my entire life. I’m actually thinking about giving blood at the high school blood drive this year!

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      • avatar

        painted_lady August 19, 2012, 12:00 pm

        Yeah, I know that has a lot to do with it, but my reasoning for picking up the antidepressants as well is twofold: one, I have no idea how long it’s going to take to get my thyroid under control, and in the meantime, I’m going insane. Which, given that I already work in a high-stress job around unreasonable people (kids), is not conducive to having a good school year. I also had an entire year last year of being jerked between two campuses, and it looks like that’s happening again, so I’m going to need something to make me less crazy in the meantime.

        Secondly, I’ve either been hypothyroid for about thirteen years, or I’ve been depressed on and off that whole time and haven’t done anything about it. There’s a million different reasons why I never sought help, but not being able to get off the couch and not being able to stop crying are not new to me by any stretch of the imagination. My doctor and my therapist and I all decided together that once my thyroid is under control for an acceptable period, I’ll try going off the antidepressants, but I still may need to be on them.

        Also, I do yoga or pilates at least three times a week, I swim two to three times a week, and I run nearly every day. As far as my mood goes, it helps in some ways, but in other ways it can make it worse because I’m spending 12 hours a week at the gym and steadily getting fatter. So I feel like a total failure, which has historically been one of my biggest depression triggers.

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    • katie

      katie August 19, 2012, 9:32 am

      you know what makes me sad about this post?

      now that school is starting, painted lady wont be posting as much because she will be too busy teaching those little children stuff. sad day.

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        painted_lady August 19, 2012, 12:07 pm

        I’ll still be around, I promise! Maybe just evenings, weekends, and lunch, but I’ll be around!

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      • katie

        katie August 19, 2012, 1:43 pm

        i know, i know. its just not the same!! summer PL is best!!

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  • iwannatalktosampson

    Iwannatalktosampson August 19, 2012, 1:35 pm

    Wendy you look amazing. I wish every weekend thread would just be a picture of you, Drew, and Jackson or some combination.

    I am so excited for all the new things coming up with the site. Anything to feed my addiction.

    This is what’s going on in my life. I’m still unemployed. Mostly. I’m having a small scale surgery Tuesday that I’m nervous for, but trying not to discuss it because I’m such a baby. I just hate my mouth being numb. It freaks me out and makes me think it’s going to get stuck that way permanently. The good news is I’ll get an excuse to lay on the couch for 4 days and not do anything but read all my library books. Oh and also my doctor is well aware of how much of a baby I am so I will be appropriately hooked up with anti anxiety and pain medication and everything I need.

    I am still lost in life but at least I’m positive about it lately because good things are going on. Like football season, fall, boot season, and cinnamon candles. I thought I was going to get to see my parents this fall in the Okanagan Valley in BC, in other words Canada’s Napa Valley, but it’s not looking good anymore. Which is sad because I miss those old people.

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      jlyfsh August 19, 2012, 1:47 pm

      have you ever tried the cinnamon and clove candles at bath and body works? they are amazing!

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    • avatar

      Clare August 19, 2012, 3:24 pm

      What happened with your part time job, IWTTS? Are you still doing the tax law degree thing? I’ve been out of town for 10 days and feel so out of the loop!

      Reply Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson August 19, 2012, 3:38 pm

        Well I’m still working at the tax firm. And I like it but it’s not permanent…so it feels like I’m unemployed. I know, I know, it could be worse. But I crave stability in my life. I want to wake up everyday and go to the same place for 40 years and then retire. That’s how I want my life to be. And I’m still doing the LLM program – but mostly just as a way to defer my loans for two years, haha.

        But I’m really excited you are even paying attention to my life! That’s amazing. What’s going on with you?

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        Clare August 19, 2012, 3:50 pm

        I’m in the last two weeks of my summer research trip to Spain for my dissertation, and while it is obviously amazing that I get to do this, I am looking forward to getting back and living in my apartment and seeing my boyfriend! Also it is ridiculously hot here with no AC anywhere and I am sweating to death. Maybe a good cleanse sort of thing?

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  • avatar

    Megan_A_Mess August 19, 2012, 6:04 pm

    So I’m not really a regular poster here, but I figured I would write this, and maybe find some common ground among you ladies (and gentlemen!)

    I’m really excited that you seem to be finding your balance Wendy! I always look forward to updates about you, Jackson and Drew. I also just got my hair cut (From shoulder length to short/spikey pixie) and I adore it. I feel ten times better and I don’t use as much shampoo! I’m also really excited for all of the changes coming to the site and look forward to the e-mails!

    So … me? Me. Well, I’m a 27 year old procrastinator who had no idea what she wanted to be when she grew up. And in the last two months, something really changed. I guess maybe … snapped, might be the better word. I’ve tried going to school, working part time, working full time, just focusing on school, joining the military, and having every job imaginable. Most of them have been in food service/hospitality industry. And back in June, I just up and quit my job, without finding one to replace it. Smart, right? Yes, especially in this economy. However, I was only out of work for a month, before I found two part time jobs, that pay me the exact same pay rate, and allow me to work with people outside of the food service industry. After a small cancer scare in May, (which really lead to me quitting, because there was not one thing I liked about my job) I also decided that I was going to cross something off my bucket list this year. So I got a job (one of them, anyway) working at my favorite sports arena (Joe Louis Arena, Let’s Go Red Wings!) and the other job is working at a place called Dream Dinners, which is essentially people coming in to make homemade frozen dinners for their families. (It’s a pretty neat concept, and we’ve been getting a lot of women coming in with their pregnant friends/sisters/cousins/etc. to surprise them with the gift of a few months worth of aggravation free dinners.)

    But, the best part about these two jobs, is that is also affords me the time to go back to college, and do what I really want to do, which is become an American Sign Language Interpreter. Also, my boyfriend and I have talked about possibly getting married next summer, so it finally feels like everything is falling into place in my life. Also, my mom and I joined Weight Watchers, so we’ve been doing pretty well with that program so far, she’s finally sticking to it and my weight seems to be coming off easily, as long as I follow the rules!

    Also, I love the fall. (This summer hasn’t been terrible, but it’s just been ok.) So I’m really looking forward to sweaters and jeans and boots and Starbucks hazelnut hot chocolate (when I can spare the points!) Plus I can’t wait to get pick apples and get some cider, and carve my pumpkin, and just enjoy the crisp smell in the air.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark August 19, 2012, 8:17 pm

    Yikes. Just blew an interview, I fear. It was for a job that was NOT exactly my area of expertise. But it sucks. It sucks bigtime… Especially since I learned that MATHEW BOMER is in this and, yeah, I would have been working fairly closely with him and all the actors on a daily basis, well, for four weeks anyway…

    Oh, well. As doors keep closing there are supposedly windows opening somewhere else.

    The trouble is, right now, I fear I am in a windowless room…

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy August 19, 2012, 8:48 pm

      Guess you better break down a wall, Mark.

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo August 19, 2012, 10:59 pm

        I guess BGM will have to overcome his natural meek countenance.

        BGM- I’m sure you didn’t do as poorly as you think you did. I remember watching “The Booth at the End” and being really impressed with the set. You’re definitely talented! Start breaking down walls and busting some heads.

        When do you hear about the job? Will you let us know?

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  • avatar

    Rachel August 20, 2012, 4:52 pm

    Nice newsy update! Exciting things in the works. September is always a great time of renewal and new starts- Jewish new year. See you soon!

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