Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread: Missing You Now

Who are you missing right now? Maybe it’s a former boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe it’s someone who passed away. Maybe it’s a friend you had a falling out with or simply drifted apart from. Maybe it’s even a younger version of yourself. Who is no longer in your life whom you wish you could speak to once again?

 

 

133 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Trixy Minx March 23, 2012, 3:08 pm

    Damn Wendy.. My grandpa’s funeral was this morning and I completely freaked out on the way there and ended up driving back home. I’ve never had anyone close to me die and even though it was expected it still makes me really sad.

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    • avatar

      rachel March 23, 2012, 8:35 pm

      Sorry for your loss Trixy. *hugs*

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 3:20 pm

    I miss my dad. That’s really the only person I miss. The 4 year anniversary of his death was the other day. (4 years already! Weird.) It’s kind of fun/weird to think about all the things he never got to see in his lifetime, for better or worse, such as: the first black President (I know it would have made him cry with joy); Sarah Palin (I know it would have made him cry for other reasons); my apartment (I know the chair he’d want to sit in and drink coffee and just look out the window); my 2-year old nephew (and my dad’s namesake!); and me quitting my job (though he would have lost his shit, I know!). Oh and all the neat little gadgets that he never saw even though they may have been around, like GPS, iPhone, etc.

    Hey, remember that one time Wendy threatened to do away with Weekend Open Threads? I’m glad we threw a fit about that.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      Iwannatalktosampson March 23, 2012, 3:23 pm

      Yeah you can never underestimate the power of a good hissy fit.

      I miss myself 20 pounds ago. I am officially 6 pounds into the overweight category. FML.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 3:26 pm

        Dude, where have you been. When does your road trip with your family start? Also, I’m likely driving through Colorado in April. Wanna get drink with me?

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson March 23, 2012, 3:33 pm

        I am still with the fam actually – but now finally at my parents house. We visited other relatives first and it was like stepping into a time machine. They didn’t have wireless internet – um what? I didn’t realize that was possible. And I’m afraid to turn on my cell phone because I don’t know how to turn off the internet on it and avoid international roaming charges so I am literally living like it’s 1985. But Canada’s pretty and I get to drink a lot so no complaints I guess. And I’m on my third book of the trip. I read Lincoln Lawyer, The Postmistress and now I’m on to Sarah’s Key.

        I ABSOLUTELY want to get a drink with you in April. I stalked your green yoga mat so I am pretty sure I figured out who you are so I’m going to facebook add you right…… now.

        BTW I saw the drunk DW forum – and that was the greatest idea on earth. There are many nights I could have used that instead of just drunken converstations mixed in with some poor LW’s advice.

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      • avatar

        quixoticbeatnik March 23, 2012, 4:53 pm

        Love Sarah’s Key! It was so good. Was the Postmistress good? I was looking at it….

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson March 23, 2012, 6:00 pm

        Um I’ll be honest it was really hard to get into. Already I think I like Sarah’s Key more – but it was a good book in the end! It was just tough sailing at the beginning. It probably won’t be one of those books you pick up and finish cover to cover in 2 days. But it is a pretty cool time piece – so if you’re into that you’ll like it.

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      • avatar

        MissDre March 23, 2012, 3:53 pm

        @iwanna… me too! even just being 6 pounds into the overweight category feels uncomfortable.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson March 23, 2012, 6:03 pm

        Totally! I was bitching just yesterday about how it’s harder to cross my legs and it annoys the crap out of me. Sigh. Oh well summer is coming up and I lose like 10 pounds just staring at the sun it seems like.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest March 23, 2012, 3:44 pm

      Did I miss something? YOu’ve already quit?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 4:07 pm

        One more week!

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow March 23, 2012, 5:02 pm

      Aw, that made me sad. But it was super sweet.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 5:08 pm

      In addition to my beloved dad, RIP, I miss Chevy’s. I’m a sucker for huge Tex Mex chains like Chevy’s that serve food on plates as big as your mom’s ass. They don’t have a Chevy’s in Chicago.

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      • avatar

        Samantha March 23, 2012, 5:37 pm

        They have them in the suburbs though – Metra that shit to Naperville or Oak Park or whatever they call the one with the giant outlet mall (they all sound the same after awhile).

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 6:27 pm

        Oak Brook! What chain does Oak Brook *not* have though.

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  • Lili

    Lili March 23, 2012, 3:30 pm

    I miss my mother every day, but its more of a livable missing now that I’m closer to my step mother. I think about what she never saw a lot like Addie mentioned, also I’m just now grasping at how short her life was since at my next birthday I will have lived longer than her. I can’t imagine dying at this age, I have so much left to do/see/be. Sadly she never got that. Sometimes I like to think I’m doing for her too. She was married, and a mother very young and I always wonder what she’d think of my being single still.

    Also I’m missing the happy, funny and carefree guy my ex used to be. Ever since he started working something about him just changed. Its like he lost his zest for life, his joie de vivre. I don’t miss who he is NOW because to me he looks like a hollow shell of the great guy I had known.

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    • Lili

      Lili March 23, 2012, 5:13 pm

      Oh foodwise I miss Chic-fil-a, In n Out, this lovely little hole in the wall mexican place by my parents house. I miss sushi, damn low carb diet. Although it is shot, so maybe today I can pick up some sushi on my way home…

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      • avatar

        Trixy Minx March 24, 2012, 11:29 pm

        Please tell me about this Mexican food place. I am sick of filbertos.

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    • avatar

      Trixy Minx March 24, 2012, 11:32 pm

      I’m sorry about your mom. Its heartbreaking to know someone who passed away so young.

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    • Will.i.am

      Will.i.am March 26, 2012, 9:06 am

      I miss the carefree person that I used to be. Now I’m an adult and have to shield myself from stupid situations. I also miss my younger days in college. I wish I would have been more involved, instead of just going to class and leaving.

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  • Heather

    Heather March 23, 2012, 3:32 pm

    My boyfriend who’s at AF basic training. He graduates two weeks from today. But after that he still has 6 months of tech school. I miss him every day.

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  • avatar

    ReginaRey March 23, 2012, 3:36 pm

    Lately, I’ve been having dreams where my ex-boyfriend appears. Nothing crazy or strange, he’s just…there. I think I just miss his friendship…I don’t necessarily miss him as my boyfriend, and I’m still very glad that I broke up with him when I did, but I do miss him *as a person.* He really was one of my very best friends, besides being my boyfriend, and I miss the “friend” things we used to do together — Going to the beach with him and his friends, trying out new restaurants, reading new books and talking about them, discovering new shows to watch, etc. He “got me,” so to speak, and it’s sad, even more than half a year later, to not have someone in your life who really “gets you.”

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 4:20 pm

      But we get you, RR. (Not the same?)

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    • Just Max

      Just Max March 23, 2012, 4:53 pm

      I too miss the “friend” my ex used to be. He did “get me,” as you say. Sadly, it’s been three years and I have yet to share with anyone as much as I shared with him. πŸ™

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 5:00 pm

        Don’t tell that to RR. She thinks 1/2 a year is long. .. 1/2 a year is how long I have to wait before I even see guys who is within an appropriate age range and who is single. And chances are I don’t even meet them – I just see them from afar.

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      • Brad

        Brad March 24, 2012, 4:25 pm

        If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t had a S.O. since high school….

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow March 23, 2012, 5:04 pm

        Aw, don’t say that. I can’t wait 3 years to feel that again. πŸ™

        WHY does it have to be so hard to find that awesome connection? I guess that’s why people believe in “The One” and the whole once-in-a-lifetime-true-love thing… because it’s so rare.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 5:09 pm

        Oh it could be a lot longer than 3 years. But it’s ok – the upside is you can become an alcoholic in no time at all if you put your mind to it.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 5:10 pm

        (I’m kidding! For you it will take no time at all, I promise.)

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      • avatar

        Trixy Minx March 24, 2012, 3:11 pm

        I think I’m already there…

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      • Just Max

        Just Max March 23, 2012, 5:29 pm

        I have connected with other people in very meaningful ways. I think what happens in my case is that we did a lot of ‘growing up’ together; and we were together a very long time (9 yrs!). I wouldn’t call him my one and only though. πŸ˜‰

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      • Lili

        Lili March 23, 2012, 5:33 pm

        I totally miss being in love.

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      • avatar

        Trixy Minx March 24, 2012, 3:12 pm

        I love you. Does that count?

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      • Will.i.am

        Will.i.am March 26, 2012, 9:08 am

        @CatsMeow: I think it’s hard because people evolve and change. The more a person gets “burned” the more apprehensive they are to jump into something good. That also means that the moment they decide they want to get in a relationship, it’s likely with the same bad person they have always been with.

        When you get burned, you have to try and step outside the comfort box. A lot of people don’t want to do that, since everything is so different than what they are used to.

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    • avatar

      *HmC* March 23, 2012, 7:26 pm

      It’s sad to not have someone in your life who “gets you”, but it’s even sadder to have someone who doesn’t get you. Being happy and single can be such a powerful time, even if you are someone who ultimately wants a partner.

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh March 23, 2012, 3:40 pm

    i miss the time i took for granted in my early 20s. i was in a rush to get through school and start working, etc etc. i wish i could go back and have that extra time back. especially with my family now that my grandparents are older. i miss my entire family more now that i live 6 hours away (i know it’s not as far as some!), i wish i could see them more often than i do. i also miss my two closest friends from college. we just live so far apart and one of them is getting ready to move to england.

    i also miss the me that thought buying a house was too scary to try. my anxiety has been through the roof this week between inspectors telling me the wiring in my house may be too old to get an insurance agency to cover it and finding termites in two places. i’m dealing with these issues by picking out paint colors.

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  • avatar

    Britannia March 23, 2012, 3:42 pm

    I actually don’t miss anyone.

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  • avatar

    silver_dragon_girl March 23, 2012, 3:44 pm

    I miss my boyfriend all the time, because he’s far away. And I miss my family, who are far away as well.

    But in terms of people I really no longer speak to at all, for whatever reason…I don’t know. I mean, I’m not really sure. I miss both of my grandfathers, but I was never close to either one. I only realized how sad that is too late, and of course now I can’t get to know them. So I guess I miss what *could* have been with both of them.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest March 23, 2012, 3:51 pm

    I miss my youth and having my siblings close to home. BUT, next Friday is my 30th birthday (ugh) and I highly suspect they will all be coming home to surprise me. Fingers crossed DWers.
    I don’t miss the past too much though. I had lunch with one of my sisters yesterday which was so nice. She’s getting so mature and confident. Anyway, she said I just seemed to have a glow about me and I stopped for a minute and realized I am very, very happy with my life right now.
    And to you guys mentioning missing your parents, thank you. It is a good reminder to not take mine for granted.

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    • BriarRose

      BriarRose March 23, 2012, 4:00 pm

      Being 30 is wonderful!! Seriously….think about how much more confident you are now than when you were 20. Think about how you have your hair and your style figured out now. You are probably more secure and happier than you were in your 20’s. I think being in your 30’s is a wonderful, lovely thing, and it’s something that I always looked forward to. Now that I’m 32, I promise: it’s awesome!

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      • avatar

        MissDre March 23, 2012, 4:02 pm

        I’m only 26, but I’m terrified to turn 30. Not because I think it’s old, but only because I’m afraid I won’t have a house and a husband and babies by then. I don’t want to wait too long and find out that I’m infertile or something.

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      • avatar

        slamy March 24, 2012, 5:41 am

        I’m 24. I’m pretty sure I won’t have a house or a husband or babies by then. I’m so scared of it!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 23, 2012, 4:30 pm

        Oh thank you! I was dreading it for a long time but you know what, you are right. I’m in a much better place now than I was at 20. Just never thought I’d be a “grown up.” I remember when my parents were 30 and they just seemed so ancient.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 7:26 pm

        I do the same thing but with Chipotle burritos. E.g., “Wow, that gift card and get you 15 Chipotle burritos – impressive!” It helps me better understand how much money is worth.

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    • avatar

      Eljay March 23, 2012, 4:13 pm

      Yay 30! I remember 30 with a fondness. Ah, the good old days. I want them back! Enjoy this….it sounds like you’re getting 30 off to a great start. πŸ™‚

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 4:38 pm

      For my 30th birthday (um, and 31st and 32nd – skipped my 33rd – sign of maturing, finally?), I had a trolley party; I blasted shitty music and we bar-hopped from 8 pm until midnight. It was So. Fun. What are you doing for your 30th?

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow March 23, 2012, 5:00 pm

      I had a blast on my 30th birthday. I “reserved” a section of my friend’s bar and invited ALL my friends and lined up 3 bands to play. I had my own guest list, haha. And I brought the most AMAZING cupcakes from Jilly’s (they won Cupcake Wars, y’all), and I let my guests use beer tickets for PBR (on me). Classy, right? Then I stayed in a hotel. Oh, yeah, and I fell. But whatever.

      Everyone I know that’s 30 or older tells me how great my 30s are going to be.

      I definitely don’t LOOK 30. On St. Patrick’s Day I was standing in line for the bathroom and this dude was like, “There’s no way you’re 21.” And I said, “Nope. I’m 30.” ………and then he looked horrified, haha.

      But yeah. I thought it was going to be this super big awesome milestone, but then it came and went, and now it’s like…ehh. Whatever.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      Iwannatalktosampson March 23, 2012, 6:06 pm

      Yay for 30! I am really excited about getting older. I feel more comfortable in my skin with every year that goes by that I just can’t wait to see how great I will feel at 30. Plus it seems like you have a lot of things to look forward to about being 30 (cough cough how is that boy/proposal thing going).

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  • avatar

    joanna March 23, 2012, 3:54 pm

    I miss my paternal grandparents; they are both dead now. I would love to talk to them as an adult and hear their experiences now that I can understand them.

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  • BriarRose

    BriarRose March 23, 2012, 3:55 pm

    This is so very timely. More than anything, I miss the man my ex-husband used to be. The way he has acted the last few days has just amazed and astounded me. He is voluntarily taking a military assignment in Europe, an assignment which requires 3 years of training across the country, and then 3 years in Europe. The man he was a few years ago would have never applied for that job. He would never have wanted to be apart from his daughter if the military didn’t make him. The man he is today, applied for the job and didn’t say one word about how it would affect his daughter until I brought it up. The man he is today is leaving his 7 year old daughter behind for 6 years, without so much as a “sorry you have to raise our child alone” to me. The man he is today hasn’t emailed her in 9 days, even though she checks her email every night. The man he used to be was the Dad to a Daddy’s girl. They were inseperable. Now she barely hears from him, and she thinks that Daddy hates her. I miss the man I married. I miss the man I had known since he was 15 and the trust I had before he became a complete stranger to me. But most of all, I miss the loving father of my sweet daughter.

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    • avatar

      MissDre March 23, 2012, 3:59 pm

      What a douche. My dad emotionally abandoned me too. It hurt so bad! Hold her tight and tell her how special she is. I’m sure you already do.

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    • avatar

      Eljay March 23, 2012, 4:21 pm

      Oh, that breaks my heart. She will probably never understand his reasoning (no reason is good enough), but at least she has you to talk this through with and come to terms with the man he has become.

      This sounds just like the relationship my daughter has with her father, and I can’t imagine him doing this to her. To have to see he sheer pain and heartbreak in her eyes while trying to explain it to her in a way that will comfort her and keep me from digging his heart out with a plastic spoon. Good luck to you.

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      • BriarRose

        BriarRose March 24, 2012, 12:10 am

        He’s lucky he is deployed and unreachable right now, because the plastic spoon idea seems quite appealing. I never in a million years thought he would become this type of father either. Sometimes when I’m trying to be generous, I think perhaps he distances himself so that he can manage to function and live his life, because the daily reminder of not seeing his daughter would be too painful. But then I think, too fucking bad. You’re the adult, you deal with the pain–she shouldn’t have to.

        She and I are very close, and she’s a happy, sweet little girl. She’s doing okay. I am trying to figure out the best way to explain to her that Daddy loves her but without teaching her that it’s okay for a man to treat her like this. I don’t want her to grow up thinking that this is what love is like.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest March 23, 2012, 4:35 pm

      Brought tears to my eyes, picturing your daughter checking her e-mail. I wish I had some good advice. Luckily she seems to have a wonderful mom.
      Its stories like this that make me grateful in a way that my daughter never met her father. My dad was in and out a lot when I was younger and it was really hard. At least mine will never have that doubt of whether her parent loves her.
      I’ll be keeping you in my prayers. Stay strong.

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  • Budj

    Budj March 23, 2012, 4:27 pm

    No one really. I was really young when my grandfather’s passed and my parents are still kicking. Everyone else that left my life left for a reason and I have been fortunate enough that none of my close friends passed. I’m either void of emotion or extremely lucky in this sense. I’ll take the latter.

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    • Lili

      Lili March 23, 2012, 4:31 pm

      Just admit, you miss Addie whenever she doesn’t comment for like an hour.

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      • Budj

        Budj March 23, 2012, 4:33 pm

        I’m starting to get nervous. I haven’t seen her name pop up in a while..will she ever come back? I might have to chew through my office furniture separation anxiety style.

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      • avatar

        silver_dragon_girl March 23, 2012, 4:45 pm

        When has Addie ever NOT commented for an hour?

        πŸ˜‰
        Love you Addie Pray…!

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      • Lili

        Lili March 23, 2012, 4:54 pm

        If she doesn’t photoblog her road trip I don’t know what I’ll do.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 4:57 pm

        One day I’m going to not comment for, like, a whole hour – nay, a whole day! And you guys just wait and see – something terrible will happen like … Eh, I’m pretty sure nothing terrible will happen. But you guys would be sad a little, right??

        Budj, I hope at least it doesn’t make you too nervous when I go and do things like divulge to everyone how we dressed up in fruit roll-ups last night. But for the record you never said it was a secret.

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      • Lili

        Lili March 23, 2012, 5:00 pm

        Remember how I missed you when you were on vacation I totally disregarded the poor LW and their problem to talk about how I missed you?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray March 23, 2012, 5:05 pm

        I do! It made me feel loved. Based on that I told all my friends in Mexico that I was a blogger with readers as far away as Argentina. … They believed me for a second. But just one second.

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      • Lili

        Lili March 23, 2012, 5:07 pm

        I tell people I meet in bars I’m a blogger. I wonder if they believe me.

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      • JK

        JK March 23, 2012, 7:08 pm

        You know the HUGE fanbase you have down here!!! πŸ˜€

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  • avatar

    Francine March 23, 2012, 4:29 pm

    Miss my dad like crazy. Just typing those words makes me cry.

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  • Cleopatra_30

    Cleopatra_30 March 23, 2012, 4:36 pm

    I miss my Babi. (pronounced Bah-bee). Worst thing is, to my knowledge, she is still alive. My dad cut off contact with his family about 6 or 7 years ago for certain reasons, and i miss her SO much, i think about her often and the time i had with her when i was younger. I am her only granddaughter, so she was able to share things with me she wasn’t able to with my brothers and male cousins. Maybe i will be able to see he before she passes under better circumstances, but at this rate, that is unlikely.

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  • avatar

    XanderTaylor March 23, 2012, 4:49 pm

    I miss my mom. She died 6 years ago and I still think about her more days than not. I wish she was here to listen to me & build me up. I miss her strength & can do attitute. I miss her unconditional love. I miss her smart a** sense of humor – she was a funny one.

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow March 23, 2012, 4:53 pm

    This should come as no surprise, but I miss my recent-ex-boyfriend. πŸ™

    I miss the time we spent together, especially those times when it was just the two of us relaxing at home. You know, the take-out and movie and cuddle-on-the-couch nights. On the weekends, most mornings we would lie in bed for hours and just talk and laugh and kiss. We had all sorts of special types of kisses that we would do, like the yip-yip kiss and the explosion kiss. I know it sounds extremely lame, but we were like that when we were alone together and no one was around to judge us. And he always cooked me breakfast. Saturday mornings we would usually watch the Supernatural episode that recorded the night before.

    I miss holding him and kissing him and smelling him. I miss his smell SO MUCH. His beard smelled amazing; I would just put my face up to his and take in huge whiffs, haha. I miss the softness of his hands (even though that sounds totally not masculine. But I loved it). I miss his weird food preferences. I miss his cuddliness. I miss the way he kissed my nose.

    We would have so much fun doing nothing. Last summer, when we were super bored, we went and bought a blow-up pool and put it in his front yard and just sat in it drinking beer. One time we got drunk, just the 2 of us at my house, and sang karaoke for HOURS. Sometimes we dressed alike on accident. We always jinxed, or knew each other’s thoughts -even when we first met – because we just connected like that.

    I miss his humor, I miss his warmth, I miss his smile. He had a way of making everyone instantly like him and instantly feel comfortable around him. I miss his voice. I miss the way he made me feel good about myself. I miss the connection we felt when we made love (and I only felt like sex = love-making with him). I could go on…but don’t worry, I won’t. This is already sickeningly sappy.

    I’m confident that someday soon we will be friends, but of course I need the space to get over him first.

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    • Lili

      Lili March 23, 2012, 5:37 pm

      Be careful of the ‘someday soon’ Its a bitch if you haven’t REALLY moved on. And you find out he’s dating a 21 yr old.

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      • avatar

        quixoticbeatnik March 23, 2012, 10:07 pm

        Agreed. I can’t talk to my “ex” anymore because I tried to be friends with him but I hadn’t really ever gotten over him….now, it’s just easier not to talk to him.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      Iwannatalktosampson March 23, 2012, 6:33 pm

      I’ve been wondering how you’ve been doing. I think it’s normal to go through different phases during a break up – like sometimes you’ll be excited for what the future holds – and other times you’ll be looking to the past and sad that it didn’t work out.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow March 23, 2012, 7:29 pm

        Yeah, it was kinda a rough week for me. But overall, I’m fine.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow March 23, 2012, 10:41 pm

      AND now that I’m tipsy I’m going to talk about what I DON’T miss….

      He’s a bad speller.

      His friends annoyed the crap out of me (not all of them, but many).

      He would always go along with his friends even if he clearly wasn’t interested. And he was easily influenced by them.

      Related to that, he could never say no to people.

      Sometimes he was too hyper.

      When he got excited, he would talk SO LOUDLY that it would hurt my ears.

      He always got TOO uncomfortable when I cried around him.

      He responded to my deepest insecurities with anger.

      He didn’t value family as much as I do.

      He thought that if we had a baby I should quit my job for at least a year and stay home (like it would be so easy for me to get back into my career after that).

      He got too competitive with other guys about how much money they make.

      His quirky food preferences, while I miss them in some respects, were annoying. He hated bell peppers and pickles (I LOOOOOVE pickles) and put ketchup on his pizza. Always. And he dipped cheese in his coffee, and cheese in caramel. Gross.

      He was disorganized, forgetful, and frequently misplaced his wallet and/or keys.

      He always yelled at me for smoking. (I’m a former smoker who sometimes smokes when drunk, and I totally had it under control! Plus HE sometimes smoked when drunk. And smoked hookah on the regular).

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      • BriarRose

        BriarRose March 24, 2012, 12:01 am

        After a break up, I make two lists. One is “this is the man I loved” or whatever variation, and the other is “this is the man who wasn’t right for me/broke my heart/whatever”. Write out things for both lists, as much as you can. It’ll probably make you cry. Add stuff when you remember it. When you’re having a low moment, go back to that list that shows you just why he wasn’t the right man for you. You have quite a few items on that list that I think, in time, will show you he truly wasn’t right for you. The three that jump out at me are:

        He responded to my deepest insecurities with anger.
        He didn’t value family as much as I do.
        He thought that if we had a baby I should quit my job for at least a year and stay home (like it would be so easy for me to get back into my career after that).

        One day you will look back on your relationship with a smile, and perhaps a bit of wistfulness for the past (who can resist reminiscing?) but that’s all. That day is coming. I know it doesn’t seem that way right now though. Wishing you strength and peace on the road to that point.

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  • avatar

    quixoticbeatnik March 23, 2012, 5:00 pm

    I miss my old friends at Texas Tech. I miss the life I had there. I’m just lonely these days and I wish I had more friends I saw on a more regular basis. I have plenty of good friends, but they’ve all got their own stuff going on so I don’t see them as much as I would like. If I lived closer to my campus I might have more friends, or if I didn’t live at home I might have more friends. It kinda sucks to know that I’ll be graduating in December and I probably won’t have any good college friends. I miss my friends.

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  • Crochet.Ninja

    Michelle.Lea March 23, 2012, 4:03 pm

    I miss my dad. he died a little over 3 years ago, and i had been living in Canada for several years since then, and I didnt get to go back home as often as i wanted.

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  • mandalee

    mandalee March 23, 2012, 5:23 pm

    I miss my three childhood friends that I no longer speak to. I don’t miss who they are now, I just miss who they were when I met them. We all met between kindergarten and third grade and were friends up until last year (when we were all 25) when they pretty much ruined my wedding and everything surrounding it. They weren’t good friends to me for a very long time, and I’m very happy that we no longer talk, but it’s the type of friendship I had with them a long time ago that I miss. Especially when I see a group of best friends out laughing and in their own world, I miss that.

    I think it’s especially strong lately because I moved to Boston in the last year with my husband and I haven’t developed any close friendships yet. The friends you make as an adult are just different than when you’re longer. I miss being able to live out of my friend’s closet and show up at their house at 3am crying my eyes out and not feeling like I’m intruding.

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    • mandalee

      mandalee March 23, 2012, 5:34 pm

      whoops meant when you’re *younger in the last paragraph.

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    • avatar

      Eagle Eye March 25, 2012, 1:58 pm

      Have you looked into Boston Cares? Its a volunteering/ charity organization that I joined for like a hot minute until grad school started and I became too busy/ made school friends, but I was quite impressed with the program and the general turnout.

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  • avatar

    savannah March 23, 2012, 5:44 pm

    I miss the person I thought my ex was.

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  • avatar

    kittyk March 23, 2012, 5:47 pm

    I do miss my younger self, and some of the friendships I used to have. I miss being closer to my family and friends (distance wise). And I miss the honeymoon phase of my relationship. It hasn’t been butterflies in years, and that was the best feeling πŸ™‚

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  • avatar

    Taylor March 23, 2012, 6:00 pm

    I miss my Dad. It’s been 12 years since he died, and he had Alzheimer’s for several years before then. I wish I could talk to him and hear his thoughts on the person I have become. I have a hard time remembering his voice. I wish he foul walk me down the aisle in June.

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    • avatar

      Taylor March 23, 2012, 6:06 pm

      Could, not foul. Stupid phone.

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  • avatar

    Emma March 23, 2012, 6:32 pm

    I miss my best friend from childhood. She was really my only friend through middle school and most of high school. I just sent her a music video of a song we used to listen to when my mom would drive us out into the country and we’d ride horses together. She’s going to school to be a large animal vet, now! I think that is so cool.

    She’s my only super close female friend, and I think we get each other so well because we grew up living across the street from each other. It was almost like having a sister, something neither of us had.

    I don’t talk to her much now, because she’s busy with school and her boyfriend, as am I, and I live halfway across the country from her now. But, I do think about her a lot.

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  • avatar

    Samantha March 23, 2012, 5:44 pm

    I miss the relationship that I used to have with my parents, even if it was somewhat unhealthy. It was safe and close.
    This past weekend, when they were visiting me, I finally shared with them that my boyfriend had moved in with me. It was the first time I’ve openly defied their belief system (Baptist – no cohabitation before marriage), and the first time I didn’t allow them to lecture and guilt me into changing my mind. While I know it’s for the best, there’s a palpable tension when I call now, and it makes me sad to think that that could be there forever.
    I also miss my little sister. We’ve lived apart for nearly five years now, and she has changed so much. This summer, she will be leaving for Navy Basic Training, and I’ll see her even less. I’m so proud of the woman she is becoming, and I’m glad I got to contribute, even in a small way, to her awesomeness, but I miss her following me around like a Pikachu – my childhood nickname for her.

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    • avatar

      Taylor March 23, 2012, 6:05 pm

      Good for you for standing up for yourself! I get the whole cohabitation thing…it’s a challenging conversation!

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  • avatar

    Colloquielle March 23, 2012, 7:01 pm

    My best friend and I are going to college in different cities. She’s only an hour away, but since she used to be ten minutes away, I still miss her a lot. Her spring break is this week but mine is next week, so finagling time to catch up will be hard. I plan to show off a nice new restaurant which opened last week.

    I also miss my boyfriend. He’s in the military, and also on the other side of the country. He can’t visit, I have college and job prospects have not been forthcoming, so unless something awesome happens I won’t be able to see him for two years.

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  • JK

    JK March 23, 2012, 7:18 pm

    I miss my brother, who is living in the Middle East this year. I especially miss all the help he gives me. And it kills me when my 4y.o. starts crying that she misses her uncle.
    I also miss (in a sense, since I hardly know them) my nieces and nephew that live in NZ. Supposedly theyΒ΄re coming this year, and I canΒ΄t wait!

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  • Lyra

    L March 23, 2012, 7:22 pm

    I really really really miss my boyfriend. As some of you probably know, he’s halfway across the world in New Zealand (and yes I’m incredibly jealous of him… πŸ™‚ ) finishing up his undergraduate degree. Fortunately we’ve always been long distance so this process has been easier for me than I had originally thought. I get to talk to him usually 2-3 times per week which has been really nice. I think the hardest part is that I’m not there to experience it with him.

    But on the bright side, it’s already been 21 days…in 65 days I get to pick him up from the airport!!! πŸ™‚ But who’s counting?

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  • avatar

    BroGoddess March 23, 2012, 7:27 pm

    I miss my family. Even though I love where I live now and it’s very healthy for me to be on my own, I wish I were closer and didn’t feel disconnected from them.

    And I miss my old boyfriend. He and I met when we were both new to the city, and he was new to this country. Even though he and I are from very different backgrounds, he really did “get” me and appreciated everything that I’m about. I miss the silliness and passion for life and discipline all rolled into one. He finished his grad program last spring and he had to leave right away (as per immigration requirements). The technology gap between his country and here is fairly large, so we decided against long distance…however, he does plan to come back when he can. Even if we don’t end up together, I’ll always care about him for the awesome guy he is.

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  • avatar

    *HmC* March 23, 2012, 7:40 pm

    I miss my grandpa. He just died a few weeks ago (the week before I took the Bar, how dare you grandpa?!… kidding!). My grandpa told crazy dirty jokes and drank wine and went bungee jumping like, 3 years ago at 84 years old. He lived a long full life and had like, the entire city at his funeral. We’ve all got to go out some day, and the way he went out is pretty much the most anyone could hope for.

    I spoke at his funeral which was difficult, for all the obvious reasons, plus the fact that all the cliche things that people say about loved ones who have passed on were actually true with him. He had a huge heart and infectious laugh and made everyone he met feel special. So I just told the congregants about how he had told me many times that he wasn’t afraid of dying. He wasn’t really afraid of anything. So when I mourn him, I’m really just feeling bad for myself that I won’t get to see him again. When I think of holidays without him and his grandpa sweaters and his gold knuckle rings (old school Italian), I’m just feeling sorry for myself, not him. Because wherever he is, he is A-OK. Miss you grandpa.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow March 23, 2012, 8:24 pm

      aww…

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    • avatar

      Kristen March 24, 2012, 10:56 pm

      This made me tear up. He sounds like such a great grandpa.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark March 23, 2012, 9:02 pm

    I miss the optimistic person I once was when I (naively) believed you really could make for yourself the life that you want… Lies, lies, lies. And here we are. Ugh…

    Reply Link
    • Lili

      Lili March 23, 2012, 9:03 pm

      I’ve missed your awesome and snarky comments.

      Reply Link
      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark March 23, 2012, 9:08 pm

        Yeah, I’ve been laying low as I regroup.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark March 23, 2012, 9:13 pm

        PS — It IS nice that the universe is desperately trying to cheer me up. I’m depressed, but hey — more Mad Men (Finally!) on sunday and then a new Madonna record (again, FINALLY!!!) drops on monday…

        πŸ™‚

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson March 23, 2012, 10:13 pm

        Well I have for sure missed you! Cheer up on that! And I’m drunk dw-ing again. I still need to facebook add you to scope out your eat pray love pics.

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      • Budj

        Budj March 26, 2012, 9:23 am

        Dude my work day hasn’t been complete without the “debates” you incite here.

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    • avatar

      Trixy Minx March 24, 2012, 11:36 pm

      I hear ya. I used to be such a happy care free person. Then my ex came and destroyed my self esteem.

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  • avatar

    Sara March 23, 2012, 9:08 pm

    I miss my husband. He lives in Washington DC, and I live in Cleveland, OH for work reasons. In 7 weeks, though, I’ll spend 14 weeks in a row with him!

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  • avatar

    rachel March 23, 2012, 9:09 pm

    I miss friends from various stages of my life who I don’t get to see too often. I miss my sister, who I haven’t seen in over a year. But mostly, I miss who my mom used to be, before depression and pain took over.

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  • MELH

    MELH March 23, 2012, 9:27 pm

    I miss all my grandparents. I was lucky in that they all lived into my 20s, and I got to spend alot of time with them. I was probably least close with my maternal grandmother, just because she was the first to pass, and while I was 19 or 20, I think she still thought of my as a “kid”. I wish I had gotten to know her better as a grown up. I still fondly remember her weird worries (once she told me if I swung too high I would flip over the swingset), her not so great but humorous television shopping habit, and her love of her irish heritage. I used to compete in irish dancing, and in college I got a celtic knot tattoo. My mom thought it would kill my grandma, but she actually just thought it was cool I honored her hertitage. She had cancer, and while her death was quick, it was somewhat expected.
    My paternal grandfather was the next to pass. We were spent alot of time together, especially playing cards. He loved to give unsolicited and sometimes tacky advice (such as don’t feel bad about your weight just because your cousins are skinnier), he loved to play cards with my grandma and all his grandchildren, and he loved my grandma more than anything in the world. His death was less expected. He went in for a biopsy, they didn’t check his clotting levels, and he nearly bled out internally. He never really got his strength back, but he seemed to be recovering. He insisted I leave for a trip I had planned, and passed while I was gone, which was upsetting.
    My maternal grandfather died about a year later, and I was much more present, because I was out of college and back at home in law school. My grandpa was good natured to the end, and I helped him with his bucket list. He always wanted to go on the tram up the mountain in Gatlinburg, but my grandma was afraid the line would snap and they would crash to the ground (I told you she worried about weird things), so I went to Gatlinburg with my now husband and we took his picture up on the tram with us. My grandpa started writing his own euology, but all he got was that he hoped he was remembered as a good man, husband and father. After he passed, I finished it and read it at his funeral, which was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And @HMC, my grandpa died one week after finals my first year of law school, and one of my friends commented that it was nice of him to wait.
    Lastly, this is becoming a book!, I miss my paternal grandmother. She was spunky, had a great sense of humor and was strong and independent. I really looked up to her. She was the only grandparent I had alive when I got engaged, and I hoped so badly she would get to see my wedding, but she didn’t make it. Since we knew she was sick, she came with me to pick out wedding dresses. I got stuck between 2, and picked the one she liked best, so I had that on my wedding day. And I know she was safe in the end, because my cousin dreamed that she was sitting with my grandma, who spent her last few days in a near comatose state, and my grandpa was there. My cousin told him in her dream that he could go, she would sit with grandma. He responded, no I’m going to wait with her until she’s ready. I don’t usually believe in that ind of stuff, but it gave us all a lot of comfort.

    Ok novel over!

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    • avatar

      Taylor March 24, 2012, 9:16 pm

      Lovely!

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  • avatar

    GatorGirl March 23, 2012, 10:45 pm

    I miss my family and my family farm. I moved 900 miles away in June from my childhood home and miss it a lot. I miss missing out on my brothers high school years. He’s 16 and had his firs motocross race two weeks ago. I wish I could have been there for that. My sister graduates from high school in June, I wish I was there for senior spring and prom and the like. And I miss our dogs. And sleeping with the windows open and not having to lock the door. Any door. And leaving the car keys in the ignition over night.

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  • avatar

    cmarie March 24, 2012, 12:41 am

    I miss my mom so much it literally hurts. I would give anything to have her back, to talk to her again.

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  • avatar

    Nadine March 24, 2012, 7:44 am

    I miss everyone back home in New Zealand, but mostly my mum. We used to talk every few days, but now with time-differences, and the fact that I get a bit sad when we speak, it doesnt happen very much at all. Sometimes I feel like its not worth being here in an exciting city doing exciting things, but missing out on my parents. I wish I didnt have to trade. And my greatest fear is that she or my dad will die while I’m away.

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  • avatar

    cdobbs March 24, 2012, 8:49 am

    i miss my beautiful dog who died of bladder cancer over two years ago…he was my little buddy and a part of my family…no matter how bad a day i was having he would always cheer me up…its not fair that terrible things can happen to such a sweet inocent little guy

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  • katie

    katie March 24, 2012, 11:46 am

    Well, everyone, I’m on my way to the airport to go to Mexico! So I will be missing DW this week. I mean, ill be on the beach drinking margaritas… But ill still miss DW. Hmm… Beach DW-ing??? Haha…

    Reply Link
    • bittergaymark

      bittergaymark March 24, 2012, 3:19 pm

      Have a great trip. If you are going to the Yucatan, make an effort to see the ruins there… All are very impressive!!

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  • avatar

    Daisy March 24, 2012, 4:33 pm

    Yesterday would’ve been my grandmother’s 100th birthday. She made it until 96 and was pretty healthy right up till the end, so no one could really complain. But it was of course still a huge loss to the family. Actually, sometimes I feel guilty for not missing her more. I think it’s because most of the people I love are on the other side of the world, and I somehow I just think of her as still being there too. Even when I visit the rest of my family I kind of subconsciously tell myself that Grandma is just out of town.

    As my parents and remaining grandmother get older (grandma turns 97 in June!), living so far away from them only gets harder. I guess I just assumed it would get easier with time, but it’s really hitting me lately that 6400 miles is always going to be incredibly far.

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  • Brad

    Brad March 24, 2012, 5:01 pm

    More than anything or anyone else, I miss being at college. I miss being surrounded by people my own age all the time. I miss how many opportunities to meet new people there were on a daily basis. It was so easy then to get big groups together to do stuff, but now it’s so difficult. I really squandered the time I had while in college and wish it hadn’t taken until around my senior year to get over my paralyzing shyness. Had I known then what I know about the dating life after college is like… Oh if only it were possible to go back to freshmen year of college with the personality I have today…

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    • avatar

      Christy March 25, 2012, 12:10 am

      I think that too–I wish I could do college over again, but out of the closet. I love who I am now, and I think I’d have 1. worked harder 2. majored in something else and 3. had more fun in college if I did it with the current me.

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    • Lyra

      L March 26, 2012, 12:56 am

      This may sound weird, but I really don’t miss college. My college experience turned out to be much different than I had expected when I applied. I never got into the “party” scene…50 people crammed in one room chugging Keystone Light just never sounded like much fun to me because I’m a textbook introvert (crowds make me super anxious). Big surprise, my college turned out to be a pretty big party school. Plus things just got too dramatic and weird by the end. People who I thought were my friends turned out to not be my friends and things were just messed up. I was ready to be DONE. Of course the majority of my good friends who I still keep in contact with are all a year older than me. I was really sad when they all graduated. But yes, I do miss the friends I made there. It is a lot harder to get together now, but we do appreciate the time together MUCH more. And…I ESPECIALLY don’t miss living off of a $200 per month work study pay check. That was rough.

      Reply Link
      • Brad

        Brad March 26, 2012, 11:01 am

        See that’s kinda how I was in college too. I’m an introvert at heart too and a bit of a homebody. I love going out and doing fun stuff like skydiving or waterskiing but that stuff only happens a few times a year. Rest of the time I’m prerfectly content to be relaxing at home watching TV, reading a book, playing games, or just spending time with a few friends. First 3 years of college I HATED drinking so I avoided almost all parties, and the times I went to them I usually left early. I was way too uptight for most of college and didn’t start mellowing out until my last 2 semesters. Just wish that had happened earlier because I think with the personality I have today I would have enjoyed the social scene a lot more. I spent most of my time in college either stressing about grades or playing way too many video games, and my GPA frankly should have been much better considering all the stuff I blew off in favor of studying or working on papers, sigh. Nothing I can do about it now though lol.

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    • Budj

      Budj March 26, 2012, 9:24 am

      haha – I had no idea how crappy the dating situation would be post-college either man…same boat as you…

      Reply Link
      • Brad

        Brad March 26, 2012, 10:52 am

        Yeah it’s definitely not fun man. The thing that I’m having a hard time with is changing my behavior with how I go about meeting new women. I really ought to be trying a lot harder than I am to meet new people since I keep saying I want a girlfriend, but if I’m honest with myself I haven’t given it enough of a priority yet. Most of my free time in the last year has gone to either my hobbies (which don’t have me meeting hardly anywomen), or hanging out with my friends. I’ve met and dated a few women through my friends but they never really went anywhere. I really thought when I moved into an apartment by myself last year that having that privacy would make me date more but it really hasn’t had much of an impact. I’ve been wanting to sign up for eharmony but TV, the gym, and hanging out with my buddies has been winning, lol. Shame it’s so easy to recognize when you’re making lame excuses to yourself but still hard to make yourself actually knock it off.

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      • Budj

        Budj March 26, 2012, 11:02 am

        haha – truth be told I could try harder too….I think part of me is just afraid I’ll have to give up things I am prioritizing now…but as it stands most of my friends are coupling up so I may be nearing the end of my single life as I know it anyways. Being the only single guy in your friend group is tough so I might have to step up my game and sort my shit out quick.

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  • AnotherElle

    Laura March 24, 2012, 5:30 pm

    I miss my family and friends. They post often on Facebook about all their parties, BBQs, movies, outings, and get-togethers and I’m sad that I am too far to join them. I don’t have anything like that down here and it gets really lonely. Sometimes all I want is hug. And when I was home and feeling lonely I could cuddle with my dog, but he’s still there so I miss him, too.

    I miss how my relationship used to be and I just miss my boyfriend. Before I missed him because he was across the country, and now he’s only a 40 minute drive away, yet it feels like he might as well be on another planet sometimes.

    Sometimes I miss certain parts of my childhood: thinking that everyone in my extended family got along, having friends to play with, my childhood dog, having my mom take care of me when I got sick, summer vacation, family vacations, my grandma’s house, holidays…things seemed so easy and carefree.

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  • avatar

    Rae March 24, 2012, 9:44 pm

    Definitely missing the younger version of my self: she was daring, didn’t give a rat’s ass about what people thought, and was relentlessly optimistic / dreamy. I loved her!!!

    I also miss my two best friends who are currently out of town. We still talk almost everyday, but nothing beats being able to spontaneously have lunch …

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  • avatar

    Christy March 25, 2012, 12:13 am

    This is gonna sound super trite but I miss my gf. I saw her this morning (when I woke up at her apartment) and I’ll see her Sunday (when I’ll spend the night again) but right now, laying in bed at my mom’s house (up for the night) I miss her.

    It’s also because I’m about to go on a (FABULOUS) 12-day trip and I know I won’t be able to talk to her while I’m gone. So I’m like missing her in anticipation.

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  • avatar

    Something More March 24, 2012, 11:23 pm

    Today, and for always, I will be missing my puppy. Her name was Gracie. She was hit by a car yesterday evening. Thankfully, it was quick so I don’t think she suffered. She “escaped” out of the open door on our way out to the movies. It was my older daughter’s birthday sleep over (her 14th birthday was Monday), so her and her three friends went to get her back and saw it happen. It’s been a rough couple days. She was the sweetest puppy, only 1.5 years old. The apartment is so quiet without her.

    A few weeks ago, the Weekend Open Thread was about our pets. I posted a couple pictures of Gracie Furface.

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    • AnotherElle

      Laura March 24, 2012, 11:32 pm

      I’m so sorry to hear that πŸ™ *hugs*

      Reply Link
    • FireStar

      FireStar March 26, 2012, 10:07 am

      I’m so sorry too. She was adorable.

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  • avatar

    Megan_A_Mess March 25, 2012, 12:25 am

    I’m missing my friend, Mike. We were close my senior year of high school, and stopped talking over a shitty ex-boyfriend I had, and some stupid mistakes I made. He took his own life seven summers ago, I was in love with him and I never got the chance to tell him before he died. I’m still not over it, and I am not sure that I’ll ever really be, but I’m trying to find some sense of closure or at least a way to live with it. I’ve been thinking about applying to some volunteer suicide hotlines, but I don’t have the money for some programs, and most are too far away from me. :-/

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  • Just Max

    Just Max March 25, 2012, 9:53 am

    I miss my sister, and who she used to be. She joined (or, as I sometimes prefer to say: was abducted by) a church, and ever since, we do not have the same relationship. I’m not knocking her search for spiritual balance, or whatever it is that she is looking for. My problem is with her allowing the narrow views of that specific religion change the dynamics of our three decades old relationship. Even simple things such as discussing certain topics are a challenge, or impossible; all because now that she is…whatever it is they call themselves, she ‘sees things differently.’ I can’t even say “oh, fuck, I hit my foot!” because cursing is a bad thing. ::eye roll::

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  • lucia_la

    lucia_la March 25, 2012, 11:33 am

    I miss the beginning of my relationship when we were head over heels for each other and everything was so exciting. I miss how special and loved he made me feel. I miss going to concerts all the time and the group of friends I did it with. I miss my two cats that I grew up with, who lived to ages 16 and 18. Most of all I miss my piano teacher who was more like a member of my family for ten years and died last month after losing a long battle with pancreatic cancer.

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  • avatar

    Lolo Sinks March 25, 2012, 11:40 am

    This thread hit really close to home. I’m missing a lot of people right now. In the last 6 months, I’ve lost my mom, uncle, and grandpa. It’s such a weird and sad feeling to not be able to just call my mom up and chat about life…the cats being annoying, my niece being cute, etc. Thinking about how she will not be there for my wedding, kids, etc. Not sure I’ve even gone through all the stage of grief yet, it’s still so raw. She was diabetic since age 17 and struggled with health problems all her life, but we still weren’t expecting her to go at age 55.

    But there have been some good things going on too, so I need to focus on that. My premature born niece is doing well, I have another niece on the way in June, and I just got a new job!

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    • avatar

      CattyGoLightly March 25, 2012, 1:34 pm

      Sorry for all of your losses πŸ™

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  • avatar

    CattyGoLightly March 25, 2012, 1:33 pm

    I miss my brother. He died a little over three years ago when I was 20, and was the funniest, kindest, smartest, and quirkiest individual I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. He’s already missed a lot since then, and is going to miss a lot more, but I do my best to think of him fondly and often. Missing anyone else doesn’t compare.

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  • avatar

    Anna March 26, 2012, 2:18 am

    I miss my sister. She lives about 1500 miles away in Florida and is very busy with 3 kids (4 if you count her immature husband) and a full-time job so I don’t hear from her much. The last time I saw her was 2010 when my boyfriend and I went on vacay together to see her in Florida. She never comes back to Ohio. She’s the one person in my immediate family that I can have a real conversation with and who accepts me for who I am rather than praying that I become the person they want me to be.

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  • avatar

    bethany March 26, 2012, 10:24 am

    I miss my Grandfather. He died 8 or 9 years ago. He was a huge gardener- He even illegally brought plants to the US when they came over from Italy. Over the past few years I’ve gotten really into gardening, and I know he would be proud of me. I’m sad that I never got to learn from him and share my passion with him.

    Reply Link

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