Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread: Tell Me Some Good News

Well, I’m back in the hospital, as of last night. Apparently, not all the bacteria was killed off when I was in the hospital in St. Louis two weeks ago and it’s now spread. I started feeling really ill again (actually, as I alluded to earlier, I never really felt 100% better), so I came to the hospital (in Brooklyn) yesterday and was admitted, and it looks like I may be stuck here for the whole weekend. I’m feeling very sorry for myself today — much more than I was last time — probably because I’m in a serious ghetto hospital this time around and don’t even have a room yet.

I’ve seriously been camped out in a hallway for hours and hours and have no idea when I might get moved somewhere a little less third world. But at least I’m not in labor like the poor woman lying next to me, just moaning and groaning in pain. This is where I was supposed to give birth in October and since there’s no way in hell I’m going to let that happen now that I’ve seen what it’s like, I have to find a new doctor and a new hospital — maybe one of them fancy schmancy ones in Manhattan where laboring women actually get their own rooms!

Anyhoo, I’m going to leave this weekend’s open thread up to you guys to discuss whatever you want, though if you want to share happy, good news or a funny joke or something, I sure could use a pick-me-up. As always, feel free to discuss whatever relationship issue you might have that you’d like advice and feedback on from other readers. And send healing thoughts my way! I want to go home sooo bad!

147 comments… add one
  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom August 5, 2011, 5:07 pm

    Your situation at the hospital sounds absolutely ghastly! I can’t imagine trying to get well in that type of situation. The only good part is that it is saving you from coming there to deliver your son. Everyone deserves better than that. I’ll be sending healing thoughts all evening and through the weekend.

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  • avatar

    Kerrycontrary August 5, 2011, 5:11 pm

    If you have internet access (which I’m assuming you do because you wrote this), google “Funny looking pugs”. This ALWAYS cheers me up. But seriously, we all hope you feel better soon Wendy! Think about the positives like your wonderful husband and the beautiful baby boy that you will get to meet in October.

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    • avatar

      Quakergirl August 5, 2011, 5:30 pm

      Hehehe! I love pugs. So goofy. Quakerboy likes to send me videos of otters doing silly things when I’m down/stressed…I think this started somewhere in the delirium of thesis-writing– also highly effective. For instance, see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5usIxO_beYw&feature=related

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    • avatar

      Rachel August 5, 2011, 5:35 pm

      Or basset hounds running!

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        Painted_lady August 5, 2011, 6:22 pm

        Omg! Looked it up, and it made my day (and I’m not even having a bad one!). The ears! The jowls! The tongues!

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    • caitiebug

      X August 5, 2011, 10:16 pm

      this is a favorite of mine when I’m having a down day!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_sfnQDr1-o

      The song is so catchy

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      • avatar

        Genevieve August 7, 2011, 4:08 pm

        Oh.My.God. I havent laughed this hard in a long time. I think it was so hilarious because I had no idea what it would be, and at first, I _had_ no idea what it was, but those lyrics, that baby monkey running after the piglet to jump back on, and backwards…. Totally made my day!

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  • thatswhat-she

    Meg August 5, 2011, 5:13 pm

    Oh wow, Wendy- that sucks! I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with a less-than-ideal hospital situation, along with feeling awful enough to go to the hospital in the first place- I can’t imagine how miserable that must be, and scary. That said, hopefully the doctors will get you fixed up soon enough (and at least now, as much as the hospital sucks, at least you don’t have a long trip home ahead of you when you do get out of there).

    That last blog post you referenced above (about being at 28-weeks) was beautiful- it makes me so excited for you (and honestly, a little antsy to be able to write something similar myself in a couple years). Wendy, you’re right- you are ready to take that next step in life, and you will make a great mom. This is just one more hurdle you’ve got to pass on your way there. And as much as it sucks now, I imagine that in hindsight it will be a lot like many women describe childbirth- horrible, but totally worth it and easy to forget the details of exactly how horrible in the end.

    I’m sure Drew is there with you and spoiling you like he should. Hopefully he can keep you supplied with lots of good books, snacks that you’re allowed to have, and other such distractions? Maybe have him invest in a couple seasons of a favorite show (or soon-to-be favorite) on DVD to watch on your laptop? I guess what I’m saying is that being stuck in the hospital definitely sucks, but if you can use the “opportunity” to indulge in some things that you actually like, that you may not have time for in the coming future, it’ll suck a little bit less.

    Hang in there. This too shall pass- and in the end you’ll barely remember. Except when it’s time to tell your son that he’d better be nice to you, for all you went through to get him here! 🙂

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  • avatar

    Emsz August 5, 2011, 5:16 pm

    I’m probably being annoying right now, but:
    not all the bacteria was killed off – was needs to be changed into were, as far as I know, because it is multiple 🙂

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    • avatar

      napoleon1066 August 5, 2011, 5:27 pm

      Also, probably needs to be deleted from the previous comment.

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    • avatar

      Maracuya August 5, 2011, 5:59 pm

      Time and a place. 😛

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    • avatar

      Stephanie August 5, 2011, 6:12 pm

      “Probably” being annoying? You had doubt? What is with the grammar police?

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    • katie

      katie August 5, 2011, 8:31 pm

      omg. people type fast and things get mixed up from brain to fingers. get over it. some people actually have a life to live and more important things to do other then picking apart advice columns…. you should probably check that out

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    • avatar

      EB August 5, 2011, 10:29 pm

      Wendy is PREGNANT and in the HOSPITAL for the SECOND time TWO WEEKS and the thing that concerns you most is improper grammar?!?!

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    • avatar

      Elizabeth August 5, 2011, 11:31 pm

      Dear Wendy – I was recently horrified by this girl who felt the need to correct a wonderful person’s grammar while the wonderful person was confiding a traumatic experience. How do I tell her she’s being a jackass and needs to consider a situation before commenting on it? Signed, Compassion Before Grammar

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    • kaluu

      kati August 6, 2011, 12:04 am

      yeah it was rude, but maybe not a typo? i never knew that it was plural so maybe she was just sharing interesting info with wendy? i mean if commenter knows its plural shes probably corrected other people and they were probably like, Oh My god i didnt know that!

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      • avatar

        EB August 6, 2011, 2:34 am

        As much as I am loath to defend any part of that comment, bacteria is the plural form of bacterium.

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      • avatar

        EB August 6, 2011, 2:39 am

        Not that it matters; in my mind, being sensitive and compassionate> being right about things of no consequence.

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    • avatar

      Emsz August 6, 2011, 9:00 am

      I’m sorry, I didn’t think when I was posting, and I now realise that it was insensitive of me to post this. Please accept my sincere apology.

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      • avatar

        Miriam August 6, 2011, 3:22 pm

        Sincere apologies are always accepted (though in this case it’s up to Wendy, though she might have more important things on her mind to even notice). So, no harm, no foul.

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      • avatar

        EB August 6, 2011, 5:14 pm

        Personally, I think apologizing was the classy/adult thing to do and I don’t know why you are getting thumbed down for accepting blame and trying to rectify the situation.

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      • avatar

        Maracuya August 6, 2011, 9:57 pm

        🙂

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy August 7, 2011, 3:38 pm

        Don’t sweat it. We’ve all been guilty of foot-in-mouth disease. And you are right; bacteria is plural, but this probably wasn’t the best time to be policing the grammar.

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      • avatar

        MsMisery August 8, 2011, 8:20 am

        *wonders if foot-in-mouth-disease is bacterial or viral… or maybe fungal…*

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    • avatar

      Kiwi August 6, 2011, 10:21 am

      Are you kidding me???????????

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    • avatar

      rsBella August 9, 2011, 8:15 pm

      I have never commented before, but I needed to because I find that “grammar correction” hilarious. Not sure where Emsz is from (because in British English, that correction would be accurate), but here in the United States, “bacteria was killed off” is correct, just like “the cereal was eaten” is right, as opposed to “the cereal were eaten” or “bacteria were killed off.”

      It’s that tricky less/fewer rule.. “less bacteria is living so I am having fewer infections” or “Less cereal is in the box so I am eating fewer bowls now.”

      So irrelevant, but I couldn’t help it. Feel better Wendy! I love your site and wish you and your family the best!

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  • avatar

    Dave Yognaught August 5, 2011, 5:34 pm

    Get better Wendy. We love you and all that you do! You are loved! Visit http://www.cuteoverload.com if you need a cute fix.

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  • avatar

    Rachel August 5, 2011, 5:38 pm

    So sorry you’re sick Wendy! I hope you feel better soon!

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  • avatar

    MiMi August 5, 2011, 5:42 pm

    sorry to hear you are punky again, Wendy. hope you (and the poor laboring woman next to you) get a decent place to rest soon!
    try: http://www.royalcollection.org.uk for online exhibitions from the British Royal family’s collections – art, furniture, Faberge eggs, jewels, early photographs, etc. that might distract you for a few moments during this enforced quiet time…

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  • avatar

    meaghan August 5, 2011, 5:42 pm

    Billy Bob and Jethro are sitting on their porch when a truck filled with sod comes rolling down the street. Billy Bob thinks for a second and says, ‘If I was rich I’d do that too.’

    “Do what?”

    “Send my grass out to get mowed.”

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  • avatar

    Quakergirl August 5, 2011, 5:43 pm

    Aww Wendy that’s horrible! I’ve been in sketchy/ill-equipped hospitals while traveling and its really awful. But at least you know about it now and not while you’re 10cm dilated and don’t have too much in the way of choice about where to give birth. And Manhattan has pleeenty of shmancy hospitals to choose from, so I’m sure you’ll find one you love and that makes you feel comfortable.

    In the baby-related good news category, there’s a really adorable photo of Neil Patrick Harris and his fiance with their baby twins in life vests in People: http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20515850,00.html#20997510 . Their son is so cute in that newsboy cap, but I’m sure your son will be even cuter and definitely gingerier!

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    spanishdoll August 5, 2011, 5:46 pm

    Oh no Wendy! I hope you’re back up and at ’em ASAP…or at least if you’re not up and at anything, I hope you get your own private room!

    For open thread, I do have a problem I need help with! After going through a major breakup just three weeks ago, I’ve thrown myself back into the dating pool (woot!) but I’m fumbling through all this dating etiquette. For instance, I went on a first date with a guy last night who was sweet, but not really my type. He asked me out again for next weekend. Should I go out on the second date just for the hell of it, or tell him immediately that I’m not interested? We had a fun time, he’s just not really my type on multiple levels.

    Any help would be sooo appreciated! 🙂

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      Katie August 5, 2011, 6:27 pm

      Tell him immediately. Its harder to play along for a second date and you will just end up dreading about having to tell him the truth that you arent interested. Trust me that you arent doing anyone any favors by pretending to be interested when you already know you arent.

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    • avatar

      Lydia August 5, 2011, 6:32 pm

      Tell him. What good is a date if you’re not interested in the datee?

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      spanishdoll August 5, 2011, 7:01 pm

      Yeah, you guys are right, I’m just having trouble trusting my own instincts while I’m still getting over this breakup. Thanks for the advice!

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph August 7, 2011, 2:21 pm

        I think you’re rushing into dating. I did exactly the same thing after my ex and I broke up. I thought that moving on required me to date, but I was just faking interest in these guys in some effort to “win” the breakup.
        I regretted it later. Not only did I waste my time and energy, but it wasn’t fair to the guys either.
        Give yourself some time to heal. You’ll know from that familiar “crush” feeling when you meet a cute guy that you’re ready to get out there.

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    • avatar

      Miriam August 6, 2011, 3:25 pm

      ‘Multiple levels’?
      – Just say no.

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  • avatar

    Rachel August 5, 2011, 5:46 pm

    Ok- here’s one of the only jokes I can usually remember:

    A bus full of ugly people crashes and everyone on board dies. They all line up at Heaven’s pearly gates, and St. Peter tells them that he will grant them one wish as they enter Heaven. The first guy to go through asks “Can you make me handsome?” and Peter grants his wish. Seeing this, the second woman says “Wow, that’s amazing! I want to be beautiful!” This goes on for some time, with each person choosing better looks as their wish, and after a while, the man standing at the end of the line starts snickering to himself a bit. By the time his turn in line comes, he is nearly doubling over with laughter. St. Peter asks, “Alright, I’m curious, what is so funny? What is your wish?”, and the man says “Make ’em all ugly again!”

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    • avatar

      anonymous August 5, 2011, 11:07 pm

      That TOTALLY sounds like something my elder son would do. I can’t wait to tell him this one!

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  • avatar

    Amber August 5, 2011, 5:56 pm

    One of my friends just had a baby on Long Island, her labor/delivery room was amazing. It looked like a really really nice hotel room. Might be just a little too far away though 😉 Hope you’re feeling better soon!

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  • avatar

    AKchic August 5, 2011, 6:00 pm

    All I can say is: I’m in a bitchy, grumpy mood. In lots of pain. It’s been raining for 6 days (we did see a little sun yesterday, but the transition was still painful for me), and my pain is affected partially by weather.

    My broken foot isn’t healing because I’m not sitting down like I’m supposed to be (gee – you think I get to sit with four kids? Nope :)). My lower back is flaring up thanks to the uneven gait of having a cast on my foot, and my neck is flaring up thanks to the weather. Hello extra pain pills and hello PMS – what great companions! 😛

    11 more days until 3 of my kids go back to school and the same day my mom gets a full hysterectomy so I’m stressed out on top of everything else and need to help prep my mom while prepping the kids. Can I get a clone to help me for a while?

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    • avatar

      anonymous August 5, 2011, 11:09 pm

      Time to use the square babysitter & hang out on the couch with the little ones. Order pizza in, or use frozen (more economical). Take it as easy as you can! Even if they’re young, they can understand that you need a little more help.

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      • avatar

        Miriam August 6, 2011, 3:29 pm

        Disney movies – lots of ’em! Stock up at Blockbuster… Sunday rentals are 49 cents each! Order pizza in (and order in something else each day for the next several days). And get some good books for yourself from the library. One trip – to the movie store and library – that’s it.

        You gotta be a good role model to your kids –

        A role model of loving self-care in this case!!

        Feel Better soon!

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      • avatar

        Katie August 8, 2011, 1:05 pm

        where in the world do you live where sunday rentals are only 49 cents each?? just curious because I live in CA and have never ever seen any deals even close to that.

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  • avatar

    Katie August 5, 2011, 6:24 pm

    Well some good news in my life…. I put in notice to quit the job I have hated for years, and I am running off to Alaska with an army guy I really really like and who wants to marry me. When he is done in Alaska he will be stationed in NC and we are going to move there and buy a nice little house near the ocean 🙂 I am sooo happy about this turn my life is taking. Here even a month ago I thought I would be stuck in this crappy office job in Sacramento forever dating CA guys who doent know what a real relationship is haha. I am so in love with life all over again. I am glad I am a risk taker!!!

    I hope you feel better soon! There is an end in sight!!!

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    • avatar

      Quakergirl August 5, 2011, 6:49 pm

      Congrats! I quit my awful job this week too! I got an amazing offer last week and decided to go for it. It’s so, so liberating knowing your days in career hell are numbered.

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        Katie August 5, 2011, 6:54 pm

        thanks! its exciting to know there is a new begining right around the corner isnt it <3

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        anonymous August 5, 2011, 11:09 pm

        Tell us the love story! How did you meet? What do you like to do together? Give us more!

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:24 pm

        @anonymous:

        Thanks for showing interest instead of just trying to rain on my little parade 🙂 We actually met a year and a half ago at my sisters wedding. He was the best man because he is my brother in laws best friend and they grew up together. We had an amazing week together on the shores of North Carolina. He drove me all around and showed me the light houses and the sand dunes and the wild horses. He showed me the house he planned to buy from his unle someday that is near an ocean inlet with a little dock and a big green yard. I had an amazing time with him but unfortunately I had to come back home to my job and obligations in Sacramento. We have talked for the last year and a half since then but nothing ever came of it because we live so far apart. I kept dating CA jerks and he dated girls from there but neither of us ever found the same happiness that we had when we were together. After hitting my wits end because I hate CA and I hate my job and I love NC and I am so happy with him I decided to throw it all up in the air and see where it lands. I leave for Alaska in a few weeks and we will be there together for 3 years (if all goes as planned) and then move back to NC for our happy ever after 🙂

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        Red_Lady August 8, 2011, 6:17 pm

        Awww, cute story!

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        soandso August 6, 2011, 12:26 am

        y’all only met a month ago?

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        ForeverYoung August 6, 2011, 9:53 am

        My thoughts exactly….how many letters have we gotton from people who married army guys after knowing them less than 6 months only to find out their abusive/suffering from ptsd/just plain jackasses?

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:07 pm

        I have known him for a year and a half. wow you assume a lot!!! Our entire families know each other. He grew up with my sisters husband. Thay have been best friends for over 20 years. Done assume so much SHEESH!!!

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        ReginaRey August 6, 2011, 4:38 pm

        yeahhh. This sounds EXACTLY like something my army friend would do. He’d absolutely meet a girl, proclaim to want to marry her, sweep her off her feet, and the moment he realized that it was REAL and she was taking him seriously and that he actually had to get MARRIED, he’d panic and ditch her. Girl, after all the letters Wendy gets about girls who run off with guys they’ve known for a month in order to escape crappy parts of their life that they weren’t willing to make better on their own, you really should think twice. Girls expecting guys to make their lives better, instead of making them better on their own, is so frustrating. Good luck, you are going to need it.

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:27 pm

        DELETED BY ADMIN.

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:57 pm

        Ive known this guy for a year and a half, both of our entire families know each other, and my brother in law has been his best friend for over 20 years…. I think I can say I know him 😉 you are very quick to pass judgement and assume all guys are the same.

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        EB August 6, 2011, 5:05 pm

        Traditionally, when people get married they vow “to love and to cherish”; I don’t know if “to ‘really really like’ and to cherish” would cut it for me…

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        SpaceySteph August 7, 2011, 2:26 pm

        Hah exactly what I thought as I read the original post. Run off and live in Alaska if you feel young and adventurous but PLEASE don’t marry him unless you really really love him.

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:08 pm

        where in my post does it say I would marry him if I didnt love him??????

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        EB August 8, 2011, 7:40 pm

        You said he wants to marry you(which made it seem like talks of marriage were already on the table) and that you “really really like” him. The combination struck me as odd because people don’t usually consider marriage without first being in love.

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:10 pm

        you dont know what you are talking about based off my one happy paragraph…

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      • avatar

        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:07 pm

        We meat a year and a half ago

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom August 6, 2011, 10:32 am

      This sounds like you’re not really running away to Alaska but instead your running away from Sacramento. Running away usually doesn’t work so be cautious, especially if you’ve only known this guy for a month. At a month he’s still a stranger.

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:08 pm

        ive known him for a year and a half beezy. thats nice you are trying to pick apart my happy story.

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        fallonthecity August 8, 2011, 12:14 pm

        What in the world does “beezy” mean?

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:26 pm

        DELETED BY ADMIN

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        fallonthecity August 8, 2011, 12:41 pm

        Wow. I know you’re upset but that was a little over the top, don’t you think?

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:55 pm

        thats why I said beezy instead of the other 😉

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      Jess August 6, 2011, 6:20 pm

      go for it i moved to europe to be with my guy after 2 weeks in person and a few months on skype and 2 years later we;re super happy together. risks can be worht it!! whats the worst that can happen, you move back? totally worht the risk

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 12:09 pm

        thanks chica!!! I swear some of the women are only on here commenting because they hate their own lives so they wana pick apart everyone elses LOL

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      AKchic August 8, 2011, 1:11 pm

      Which base/post are you being stationed at? If at Elmendorf-Ft. Richardson Joint Base – then you’ll be in Anchorage (with me!).

      Anchorage has plenty of decent places to visit, granted – everyone says there’s not much of a social scene. I wouldn’t know – I don’t go out much, if at all. But – I can be a great tour guide!

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        Katie August 8, 2011, 1:32 pm

        Yes I will be in anchorage!!! wow we need to meet up haha

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  • Chaotonic

    Chaotonic August 5, 2011, 6:33 pm

    If you have time, Wendy, you should check out http://www.zooborns.com. Baby animals galore! Its so awesome.

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      spanishdoll August 5, 2011, 7:21 pm

      Oh god, I just lost 30 minutes of work time on this site giggling over all of the pictures!! So cute!

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      • katie

        katie August 5, 2011, 11:33 pm

        well, thats like a whole hour of time lost looking at cute baby animals between the two of us, then…. oh but they were sooooo cute!!!

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    • avatar

      Fairhaired Child August 7, 2011, 6:59 pm

      here’s another:

      Dailybunny.com

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  • avatar

    Erin August 5, 2011, 7:00 pm

    Wendy, this sucks. Hugs for you, and Drew. And, if there is anything positive in this, it’s that you don’t have to labor and give birth in that nasty hospital!

    Also, what is with all of the advertisements in your comments! Should be full of get well wishes!

    If there is anything (that can be mailed) in AZ that would cheer you up, let me know! I’ll send a care package for you. 🙂

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    • avatar

      Katie August 8, 2011, 6:15 pm

      what advertisements?

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  • avatar

    EmmieEm August 5, 2011, 7:25 pm

    Get well soon, Wendy!
    I always watch this kid when I’m feel grumpy, guaranteed to bring a smile to your face:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnCiTSzYHRM

    And for my good news, I’ve landed my first big girl job (since graduating college) this week! I start Monday!! Woooooooo! 🙂

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    • avatar

      callmehobo August 5, 2011, 8:41 pm

      Thank you for that video! Right now I’m in a foreign country and sick- but that video totally put a smile on my face! (PS- congrats on the job!)

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        EmmieEm August 5, 2011, 9:01 pm

        Thank you!! You get well soon, too! 🙂

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      Rachelgrace53 August 5, 2011, 11:48 pm

      PEOPLE DO THE WEIRDEST SHIT IN APPLE STORES! That being said, this is hilarious… And I want to be bff’s with this kid. Wendy, if you like this video, watch the Whip My Hair one too! He knows the dance! And does it waaay too well.

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    • avatar

      fallonthecity August 6, 2011, 12:14 am

      Congrats!!! I just got my first grown-up job, too! It’s a good feeling.

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  • avatar

    Britannia August 5, 2011, 6:30 pm

    I hope you find a better hospital! It’s a good thing you’re finding out about its’ poor management skills now rather than in October, right?

    I have lots of good news! I turned 22 last weekend without incident. I had new x-rays taken of my spine and my doctors are incredibly pleased – my fractures have completely re-fused and my mobility is getting better at a rate none of us could have even realistically hoped for. I got my old job back and it has been very difficult to be on my feet, working the salesfloor, but I am so happy to be off the couch and interacting with customers again (many who remember me and are happy to see me back) that the extra pain I’m experiencing is totally worth it.

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    • avatar

      EB August 5, 2011, 10:34 pm

      Happy belated birthday!

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      Rachelgrace53 August 5, 2011, 11:39 pm

      Yay! That is all great news!

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  • fast eddie

    fast eddie August 5, 2011, 7:26 pm

    Totally and completely no way to treat anybody especially you. I’d be happy to come over there guns blasting and whisk you away to accommodations that are far, far better. OK that’s not practical cause airport security has no sense of humor or anything else but here’s a feel good site that always picks me up. (hugs)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4&ob=av3e

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  • avatar

    BeccaAnne August 5, 2011, 8:28 pm

    Here’s my good news: I adopted a kitty last weekend! She is purrrrrfect! And already her favorite thing to do is sit on my computer keyboard. Cat, amiright?

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  • avatar

    Eagle Eye August 5, 2011, 8:30 pm

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  • katie

    katie August 5, 2011, 8:38 pm

    i have some good news to share- my boyfriend has (sort of) gotten a promotion!! he is a chef, and right now he is just on the line, cooking, but one of the sous chefs (kind of like an assistant manager, in case you dont know kitchen lingo lol) quit, and they are taking the position and changing it a little bit, but they have basically told Jake that the position is his, they will be filling it in october, and so he will be doing the job from now until october, and if he is doing it well when they go to fill it, he gets it! so he is basically getting a 2 month try out for his promotion! yay! we are super excited, but we arent celebrating until its official. dont want to jinx it, lol.

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  • avatar

    Lulu August 5, 2011, 8:56 pm

    I’m sorry to hear you are in the hospital again, take it easy and focus on the good things. Get well soon!

    My good news is that next week it will be a year that I started dating my boyfriend! We get along so well and are a good match.

    I was wondering though does one give a gift to a man for this occasion or not?

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    • katie

      katie August 5, 2011, 9:26 pm

      i think that totally depends on your relationship, and the types of persons you are. i dont think you have to treat it like a birthday, though… i always liked anniversaries where you just spend the day together doing fun things. seeing a movie, getting coffee, having some dinner, whatever, just a day with just the two of you.

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      Red_Lady August 5, 2011, 9:50 pm

      Only give a gift if you think he’d appreciate it. If you’ve talked about your upcoming anniversary, then it might be appropriate. Personally, I don’t agree w/ giving gifts for dating anniversaries. I’d recommend just having a special dinner, go somewhere that reminds you of how you met, or splurge on a nice bottle of wine or something.

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      Quakergirl August 5, 2011, 10:29 pm

      Quakerboy and I don’t really do anniversary or Valentine’s day presents, but we usually do something extra-nice for one another and I always make him a card and write a note reflecting on the past year for our anniversary. I dunno, we’re just not that big on gifts– only for birthdays and Christmas– but I know some couples do Valentine’s and anniversary gifts, too. Just depends on your relationship. But a nice card or homemade dinner or other thoughtful gesture to mark the occasion is never out of place, regardless of whether you get a gift.

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      EB August 5, 2011, 11:03 pm

      My boyfriend and I didn’t really do anything for our first couple anniversaries because we’re both pretty laid-back and didn’t have a clear cut date to celebrate on (is it the day you met? first date? first kiss? when you stopped dating other people?). Eventually, about 2.5 years in, we had a “super-romantic” discussion where we just picked a date to be our “official” anniversary 😉

      That being said we both tend to like experiences or activities over gifts. For example, on Valentine’s day I would much rather try a tasting menu at a really nice restaurant or have him cook dinner for me than receive flowers or jewelry. For other special occasions in the place of gifts we’ve taken trips, gone skydiving, spent a night at a bed in breakfast, gone to concerts/baseball games, etc.

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        EB August 5, 2011, 11:05 pm

        Oh and congratulations on finding such a great guy and making it to the One year mark!

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      HmC August 6, 2011, 1:25 am

      Weird, next week is my one year anniversary being in an official relationship with my guy too! For the record, we’re celebrating the day he asked me to be his girlfriend (we knew each other for a couple months before that). My old roommate celebrates the anniversary of her current relationship as of the day they first kissed… which irks me a little, not only because she’s sort of padding the amount of time they’ve been together (they weren’t official until months later) but also because she *had a boyfriend* at the time she kissed this new guy! So her anniversary is before she broke up with her ex. Just, ewe. Wow that looks kind of high school and bratty of me all written out, like why should I care? Ha.

      ANYWAYS… so I am in the same predicament as you, deciding whether I should get a gift, and, if so, what the heck to get. I find buying gifts on cue for people to be utterly difficult (I’m more the spontaneous, buy something for someone because it’s perfect and you know it will make them happy, not because I feel obligated kind of person). My boyfriend is not so much into gift giving on cue either. But I feel like he might get me something for our anniversary, and I wouldn’t want the gift giving to be one sided. I was thinking of getting him a nice card and a small gift, and if he doesn’t get me something then just give him the card and save the gift for his upcoming birthday. But that feels kind of dumb and manipulative for some reason.

      Also, my boyfriend is specifically difficult to buy for. He’s not into having tons of stuff, and the things he does spend money on he had already purchased. He’s also kind of picky when he does decide to buy something.

      Any ideas for how to proceed are welcome! He’s an outdoorsy guy, kind of hippie-esque….

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        EB August 6, 2011, 3:27 am

        May I ask where you live? Do you happen to have an REI near you? If you do, I’d say just go in and approach some one who works there and tell them a bit about your boy and they will be able to point you in the direction of a dozen or so cool items geared towards camping, hiking, biking, paddling,skiing, boarding, climbing, or any other activity you could possibly do outdoors. I am by no means an outdoor enthusiast but give me 10minutes inside an REI and I have the sudden urge to buy half the store and go out to bond with mother nature “Into the Wild”-style.

        Does your boyfriend have a nice pocket knife? If not I might suggest a Swiss Army knife. They have a ton of models that range anywhere from $20-100 in price. I actually own one and have used it WAY more than I ever thought I would. It’s also great for travel (I think I might have used the corkscrew appendage more than any other one…it made me quite popular when I was backpacking in South America and was often the only person in an entire hostel who could open a bottle of wine!).

        ^jxBrand%2CSwiss+Army

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        HmC August 6, 2011, 11:23 am

        Both genuinely great ideas! Dear Wendy’s readers are so smart. 🙂 Thank you!

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        EB August 6, 2011, 5:16 pm

        You are welcome and I hope you have a great anniversary!

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        Miriam August 6, 2011, 3:36 pm

        How about a beautiful picture of you, framed and inscribed to him – or a pic of both of you together.

        Or a thoughtful book, inscribed to him.

        Or a poem, framed.

        Or a book of ‘coupons’ with pictures drawn by you ( for back rubs, home-cooked meals, etc)

        Or a crafty item, made by you, that he can use (non fancy, but thoughtful).

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom August 6, 2011, 10:47 am

      The best way to know whether to get a gift or not is to talk to the man. Ask him whether he would like to celebrate this milestone and if he says yes then discuss what you’d both like to do. Guessing what you think he would like to do often leads to disappointment when you build an idea in your mind that doesn’t exist in his. If you ask him if he’d like for the two of you to plan something special (activity, gift, meal, etc) you share the fun of deciding together what to make of your special day and that makes you even closer.

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      Ginelle August 7, 2011, 10:51 am

      My man and I aren’t too big on gifts. I asked for a chees-y romantic date night for our one year, which he’s following through with this weekend (we’re celebrating it a bit late). I believe he’s making dinner, and we’re watching a romantic comedy before we take our midnight walk to the beach to watch the meteor shower. I like to cook and he likes beer so he’s getting home made Guinness ice cream and ICB cupcakes (Guinness chocolate cake, Jameson Gauche, & Bailey’s Cream frosting).

      We aren’t doing anything too crazy, but no real gift exchange either. We found things that we liked and got a little creative with them. But I think to gift or not depends what type of couple you are.

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    Red_Lady August 5, 2011, 9:54 pm

    That sucks Wendy! But it’s good that you’ve found out that it’s not a good place to give birth. Good luck finding a nice hospital!
    My good news – I went out wedding dress shopping yesterday, and the lady helping me was amazing! She was able to help me figure out what I wanted – a sheath style ivory dress, with a v-neck or sweetheart neck line, and short lacy sleeves. Unfortunately, the perfect dress that they had was $1200. WAY too much for me. But, they were having a $99 sale at there second location, so I went to check it out, and ended up finding my perfect dress! The weird thing was, it was not at all what I was looking for – white, strapless, A-line. But it fit so perfectly, I just had to get it! Plus, they had veils for $35. Score!!

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    • katie

      katie August 5, 2011, 11:31 pm

      i am so terrified to one day go wedding dress shopping… lol good for you for finding one, and a cheap one at that!

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    Jubietta August 5, 2011, 10:05 pm

    Shortest joke I know:
    What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
    Spelling!
    Take that grammar police!
    Get well soon, Wendy. I hope their taking excellent care of you and your bump!

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    • fast eddie

      fast eddie August 5, 2011, 11:02 pm

      groannnnn….

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    Ceren 80 August 5, 2011, 11:27 pm

    Wendy, I hope you get to feeling well really soon your in our families prayers. Just to let you know I stumbled upon your colum and since then I been addicted. Thanks for giving such wonderful advice to others as well as myself. Lol it just helps me to know that everyones lives are not perfect like we think. Relax and Get well soon:)

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    Amanda August 6, 2011, 12:01 am

    Wendy, I hope that you feel better soon!

    I have some good news. I am going on vacation next week! I’m a grad student and I haven’t had vacation since May 2010. I am really looking forward to some time away from the grind with my fiance. It should be fun (hopefully!) We are going to Gettysburg for 2 days and then DC for 4 days. I’m hopeful that the weather will be nice.

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  • caitie_didnt

    caitie_didn't August 6, 2011, 12:16 am

    Take good care of yourself! I’m finishing a long course of antibiotics myself, so I know all about how nasty those little microbes can be (and the side effects of the antibiotics can suck big time, too).

    And to cheer you up, if you’ve never seen the “Corgi Flop” video, you are seriously, seriously missing out:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glii-kazad8

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    cmarie August 6, 2011, 12:22 am

    Feel better soon!!!
    My good news: I bought these A dorable yellow kitten heels today. They made me sooo happy.

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    Rachelgrace53 August 6, 2011, 12:35 am

    When I’m down, my boyfriend puts me in bed with my favorite pillow and blanket and turns on one of two things on and I totally melt because it’s super sweet: an episode of Glee or a video of Maru, the wondercat! Might I suggest this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPzNl6NKAG0&feature=relmfu And also this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XID_W4neJo

    I will inevitably think of other happy things, but I’m exhausted so I’ll probably just come back and add later.

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    Ginelle August 6, 2011, 2:08 am

    Tomorrow will be my first day on the job after a year out of work. This job also happens to be my first “career” job, I’m finally a teacher! Next weekend my Army-man boyfriend will be in town for my birthday, and it’ll be the first time I’ve seen him since December! As of today we have a month and 15 days until out LDR is over! My dog has found himself an abandoned kitten that he his mothering, and I’m keeping her. Oh and to top it all off I made the most delicious sea salted caramel ice cream this evening! Good News all over!

    And to make you laugh, it’s the stupidest joke I’ve ever heard, but it makes me laugh every time some one tells it:
    What kind of cheese isn’t yours??
    NACHO CHEESE.

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      Painted_lady August 6, 2011, 12:59 pm

      Congrats on all of that!!! I’m a teacher – this is my second year – and I absolutely love it. Don’t take it too, too seriously and you’ll have a blast. My students are some of my favorite people. What grade level are you teaching?

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        Ginelle August 7, 2011, 1:57 am

        I’m so excited! I found myself a job at a charter school this is their first year as well. I’m teaching history and science to a 5/6 combo class. I’m beyond excited, really nervous. I know the week before school starts I won’t be able to sleep at all. I just got my credential in April but I found two long term gigs that lasted me until the end of the school year and I absolutely loved it! I can’t wait to have fun with these guys! What grade level do you teach?

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        Painted_lady August 7, 2011, 3:56 am

        I teach grades 7-10 (I’m fine arts, so they spread me out between two schools). I was a long-term sub year before last for 5-6 and they’re hilarious. Some of my favorite kids from that year are going to be in 7th grade at my current school, and I’m so excited to have them back! I couldn’t sleep last year, either, but you’ll get into a routine really quickly. This is the first time in my life I’ve really looked forward to going to work most days, so I’m excited for you!

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        Ginelle August 7, 2011, 9:42 am

        I figure the not sleeping thing is routine for pretty much all new teachers. I love when you get to have the kids you had before for a second round. It’s crazy to see how much they change in just a few years. The thing I’m most nervous about is the grade I’ve never worked with kids younger than 7th grade. So you just reassured me!

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      Miriam August 6, 2011, 3:39 pm

      So much good news!!

      I’m happy for you!!

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    • fast eddie

      fast eddie August 7, 2011, 7:47 am

      Great for you with all that wonderful news. I’m having a delightful imaginary vision of your dog and HIS kitten. He’s a man after my own heart for sure.

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        Ginelle August 7, 2011, 9:50 am

        Oh the kitty is very much his, if you are playing with it he will lay right next to you to and watch her. They slept cuddled together in his dog bed last night. At some point last night the kitten crawled up to my bed to play with my hair, and my dog pulled her off of me put her between his paws and gently put his head on her so she’d sleep. It was by far the cutest thing I’ve ever seen at 3am.

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    SpyGlassez August 6, 2011, 2:34 am

    Hm, good news? Um, I’m no longer ravenous while on the diet.

    Here are a couple of cute facebook pages for baby and toddler stuff! (I’ve been perusing for gifts for friends lately.)
    http://www.facebook.com/FascinatingBaby
    http://www.facebook.com/AliceLovesEtsy?sk=app_167969729896883

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    MJ August 6, 2011, 2:42 am

    Here’s my joke. It’s dirty, so if you’re not into that, here is your warning to skip…and don’t purple thumb me.

    A man walks into a watch shop and lays his penis on the counter.

    Shopgirl: Sir! What are you doing?! This is a watch shop!
    Man: I know. I want two hands and a face on this right now!

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    lumpie August 6, 2011, 4:09 am

    Awww Wendy!! I hope your feel better soon. No fair at all that you’re back in hospital. Sending big warm hugs and healing thoughts!

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    Mainer August 6, 2011, 8:12 am

    I got a few. They’re all sexual in nature because, well, those are the only ones I know.

    A lady is teeing off at a golf course. Her drive pulls a little to the left and she sees it heading toward this man. She yells “fore!” but it’s too late. It hits him and he goes down. She runs up and sees he is cusping his hands at his groin and kneeled over moaning. Oh my god, I got him in the nuts she thinks.

    “Sir, are you okay?”
    “I think so,” he says.
    “Let me try and help.” She reaches down and starts to put her hand down his pants. He jumps back. “Sir, it’s okay. I”m a professional massage therapist, I do this for a living. Trust me, it will help.”
    “Ah, okay.” So she goes on massaging him. When she finishes she says “There, I told you. How does it feel now?”
    “Oh, that felt great” he says, “but my thumb still hurts.”

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    Mainer August 6, 2011, 8:17 am

    This guys dies one day and finds himself in hell. He’s all bummed out and is just sitting on a rock moping. The devil sees him and walks up. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
    “Well, I’m in hell. Not exactly pumped. I heard some bad things about this place.”
    “Oh, it’s not that bad. You like drinking and smoking cigars?”
    “Yeah, I was known to drink a little. Never got into cigars though, worried about my health”
    “Well, on Monday all we do is sit around and drink. And on Tuesday, we just sit around and smoke cigars. Don’t need to worry about any health problems, you’re already dead! You like to golf and play poker?”
    “Yeah, I love it!”
    “Great! Wednesday is golf day, we do nothing but play golf. Thursdays is poker day. You’re dead, so can’t exactly throw away your earnings.”
    “Awesome!” the guys says.
    “Are you gay?”
    “No.”
    “Oh. Geeze. Well, you’re gonna hate Fridays.”

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    Mainer August 6, 2011, 8:24 am

    Three guys are at work one day, hung over as hell. They gather around and talk about how drunk they got. Each claims they got more drunk than the other, so they make a contest of it. They each throw in $20 and who ever had the story of being the drunkest wins.
    The first guy is just really quiet, looks like death. “I got so drunk last night I stumbled home and blew chunks.”
    “That ain’t nothing!” the second guy says. “I got so drunk I drove home and hit a telephone pole. Took out power to half the city and I got busted for DUI.”
    Third guy says “Pff, nothing. I got home and found my wife in bed with another man. I went to throw him out and in the tussle I knocked over some candles and burned my whole apartment down.”
    First guy slowly moves in and takes the money and starts walking away.
    “Wait! What was so bad about your story?”
    “Well,” the first guy says, “Chunks is my dog.”

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  • avatar

    Schwinny August 6, 2011, 7:44 am

    Wendy, I’m really sorry to hear you are stuck in the hospital again. I hope you feel better quickly and completely.

    Good news? How about some cuteness:
    Puppy and otter playtime:
    Puppy meets kitten: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BnPQRDo-IQ

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    Morgan August 6, 2011, 12:12 pm

    I’m so sorry you’re back in the hospital Wendy. I spent the past week in the hospital with an infection and then recovering from surgery, and it really is miserable. I can’t imagine being pregnant on top of it.

    I don’t have any especially funny jokes I can think of, but here’s a link that always makes me happy:

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    Temperance August 6, 2011, 2:16 pm

    I am so sorry that you are stuck there! Here is something to cheer you up:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11xs9mFKObs

    It’s a video about a penguin that lives with a family in Japan and wanders around the small town where he lives. It’s so cute.

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      Katie August 8, 2011, 6:26 pm

      omg that was soooo cute!!!

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    LT August 6, 2011, 3:34 pm

    Feel better!

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    Painted_lady August 6, 2011, 5:49 pm

    Feel so much better, Wendy. In the meantime, http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/party.html

    They’re all pretty hilarious, but this one is sort of related to your situation.

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      ape_escape August 9, 2011, 6:06 am

      ahhh I love hyperbole and a half! every “story” literally makes me cry from laughing so hard.

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    LTC039 August 6, 2011, 8:10 pm

    Wendy! Hope you feel better! I’m praying for a speeding recovery!
    Here’s a website that’s quite comical & might cheer you up, if you haven’t heard of it already.
    http://www.peopleofwalmart.com

    Get well soon!!

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      Katie August 8, 2011, 6:27 pm

      haha I shop at wal mart soometimes and I totally see people like this!!!

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    Quakergirl August 6, 2011, 9:00 pm

    Oh, also check out if you have a love-hate relationship with Yelp and a mostly hate relationship with Yelpers.

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    Annette August 6, 2011, 11:15 pm

    Sorry for the re-lapse and I hope you feel better soon too!!

    Here is a link for a picture that always makes me smile… http://www.lolroflmao.com/2011/07/03/is-this-some-sort-of-trick-question/

    🙂

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    Annette August 6, 2011, 11:19 pm

    Sorry for the re-lapse and I hope you feel better soon too!!

    Here is a link for a picture that always makes me smile… http://www.lolroflmao.com/2011/07/03/is-this-some-sort-of-trick-question/

    🙂

    And if you like to read and get a chance, try Once Bitten, Twice Shy by Jennifer Rardin, it is a good one, kind of a cross between James Bond and Buffy the Vampire Slayer… I couldn’t put it down!!

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    Jshizzle August 7, 2011, 12:13 am

    I saw this super old timer comedian that my 83 year old grandma found to be hilarious tonight.

    I went to the laundromat the other day…the sign says, “when the light goes out, please remove all clothing”

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    MissD August 7, 2011, 1:41 am

    I hope you get better soon, Wendy! I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to be back in the hospital again. Sending good thoughts and well wishes your way! Also, I do have some good news to share. I went on my first post-divorce date…and it was lovely. My date was an interesting, accomplished man with whom I have a lot in common, and he was a gentleman. I think there will probably be a second date. It was so refreshing to be out with a nice guy, enjoying myself on a Saturday evening! I think being single is going to be fun…

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    Skybird August 7, 2011, 11:15 am

    Wendy, healing thoughts coming your way! Something I always look to make me laugh is giggling babies on youtube. And some of my feel-good songs (and cool videos) are Fireflies by Owl City, This Afternoon by Nickelback, and Rhythm of Love by the Plain White T’s.

    Take a deep breath Wendy, close your eyes, and imagine a pure, beautiful white light infusing your entire being with healing energy. Imagine this white light knocking out the bacteria in your body. Draw the healing energies from the Earth.

    And it’s not unheard of to change doctors or hospitals. I had a bad experience with my doctor at 30 weeks along with my son, and I changed my doctor, and I was so immensely glad that I did. I was also very lucky that my doctor was the doctor on call when I went to the hospital to have my son.

    Take care, Wendy, and feel better. You and your little guy continue to get better.

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    Chouette August 7, 2011, 1:43 pm

    Wendy, I hope you feel better very soon!

    This is the cutest kitten video I’ve seen to date:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka2Q0vGVmTw

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom August 7, 2011, 2:37 pm

    My good news is that today is our 24th wedding anniversary!!!

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  • Dear Wendy

    Wendy August 7, 2011, 3:35 pm

    Thanks for all the well-wishes, jokes and happy distractions, everyone! I was released from the hospital this morning after a traumatic three-day stay. I’m trying to find a new OB and hospital, but I’m due in 11 weeks and at risk now for pre-term labor, so I have to work fast. I’m just so happy to be home and and hoping everything will fall into place and the rest of the pregnancy will be smooth. It’s been a rough few weeks!! Thanks, again, for keeping me in your thoughts. It really did cheer me up to read your sweet and funny messages.

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    themintyness August 7, 2011, 8:33 pm

    Aw, I’m sorry, Wendy. I realize I sound totally weird, but you should come live with me in Vermont, I’m in Burlington where we had a scandal where the chair order an over-expansion of the hospital (I’m not kidding), so the hospital here is bigger than we need and almost every admitted patient can get their own room.

    I hope you’re not too hard on myself, and I know you might want to slap me for saying this, but at least you’re finding out now rather than later not to give birth in that hospital? I guess I’m kind of just repeating what you said.

    Hope you take care of yourself and your baby!

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    melikeycheesecake August 8, 2011, 10:10 am

    Oh no! So sorry Wendy! I’m praying for you!

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  • becboo84

    BecBoo84 August 8, 2011, 10:53 am

    I will say that the silver lining in all of this is that you realized it now, as opposed to when you were arriving to deliver the baby. All hospitals should have tours for expecting mothers, and it’s also possible that your current doctor delivers at multiple hospitals.

    Anyway, so sorry to hear that you’re sick (again), and I hope you are on the mend soon!

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