Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread: What Would You Change In Your Life?

Yesterday was kind of an intense day. There was the whole commute from Germany back to New York with Jackson by myself that probably shed a couple years from my life. In addition to sitting on a plane for almost 11 hours (eight and a half of which were in the air), during which time a teething Jack slept approximately 40 minutes and spent the rest of the time clawing my face and pulling my hair and poking and hitting the guy sitting next to us (who managed to avoid eye contact with us for the whole flight), we also had a two hour drive to the airport from my parents’ place and then a 45-minutes drive home from the airport through rush hour traffic. And maybe all that wouldn’t have been quite so bad if we weren’t also dealing with the sadness of saying good-bye to my parents, too.

And that shit’s hard. If you’ve ever lived far from family — and I’m talking thousands of miles between you, not a two-hour drive — you know what I’m talking about. As much as the physical distance sucks, the psychic distance created by the miles and the ocean and different time zones and length of time it takes to get to each other sucks, too. And when there’s a child involved, as there is now in my family, the sadness is more acute. Adults can go a long time between visits and not feel like they’re missing out on too much. You miss seeing each other, sure. But you don’t feel like you’re missing out on important milestones and formative relationship-building moments. But when there’s a young child, you do, and it’s a fucking bummer.

I grew up only seeing my grandparents in the summer, sometimes even going two years between visits. I hope that my son will get to see his grandparents more than that. If I could change anything in my life — besides having more money which, duh — that would definitely be in the top two: having my family live closer. The other would be to eliminate all illness and emotional and physical pain from my family and friends’ lives; does that count as changing something in my life? I think so, since their health and well-being certainly affects me. And then my third thing would be to have enough career success and security that I could support our family and Drew could have career independence to pursue more of what fulfills him (including spending more time with Jack during the week).

What about you? If you could change anything in your life — besides your money situation — what would it be? (It doesn’t have to be something likely or even possible; it can be pure fantasy thinking, like imagining yourself with Gisele Bündchen’s hair or something.).

p.s. The photo above was taken last week in my parent’s neighborhood right before a big thunderstorm. Peaceful, isn’t it?

* If you’ve got a suggestion for a future open thread topic, email me at wendy@dearwendy.com.

172 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Trixy Minx July 6, 2012, 2:07 pm

    I would have gotten help for my depression earlier. I would have realized that I was smart and I do have something to contribute to society. I had a really fucked up childhood that left me feeling throughout most of my adult life(so far) that I wasn’t worth anything and my opinions didn’t matter. My mother kept telling me that I would never be loved because I was fat. Little did I know then when she was telling me that as i kid I wasn’t even fat.
    There is so much of the past I wish I could change but I can’t. Its my life now.

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  • Budj

    Budj July 6, 2012, 2:09 pm

    I would not have a college degree and therefore be more fluid for musical aspirations….

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    • Budj

      Budj July 6, 2012, 2:10 pm

      or just have gone to a state school…haha

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  • avatar

    bethany July 6, 2012, 2:22 pm

    This isn’t really specific to my life, but just “life” in general… I wish someone would just fucking invent teleporting already. It would make EVERYTHING better.

    No more sitting on the train every day going to and from work. I could live wherever I wanted to without worrying about leaving my family and friends behind. I could go see my grandmother for lunch once a week instead of having to spend and entire weekend there…

    I just think that teleporting would be beneficial to everyone, and someone should just hurry up and invent it.

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh July 6, 2012, 2:31 pm

      i so agree with you! then i could see both my best friends one who lives on another continent and one who lives 12 hours away whenever i wanted to. and i wouldn’t have to drive 6 hours to see my family either.

      know anyone who can work on this?

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    • katie

      katie July 6, 2012, 2:46 pm

      stupid scientists… proving that physics exists instead of getting us freaking teleporters!!! lol…

      side note, i have to tell this story- that particle they just found -the “god” particle- a girl on my facebook LITERALLY was like… my lord and saviors existence has been proven!! i am rejoycing in the streets! this is the best day of my life!!

      ….

      literally. seriously. she had no idea what she was talking about and thought science had proven god exists. and i dont mean to make fun of people who believe in god, im just making fun of someone who had no idea what they were talking about and ran with the title. it was HILARIOUS. oh, even better. i posted an article for her i found called “why is the boson whatever particle called the god particle?” and a lady posts underneath me and says “aw, after reading that article and some others it looks like we cant buy into this, X. they are trying to prove the big bang theory.” and i just thought that was funny, because she used the phrase “buy into it”.

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      • avatar

        rachel July 6, 2012, 3:07 pm

        People who don’t “believe in” science make me very sad.

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      • JK

        JK July 6, 2012, 3:09 pm

        I know! Katies comment reminded me of Sheldon´s mother. 🙂

        Off topic, are you anywhere near Snowmass Village? Apparently there´s a (gorgeous) crime spree by some bear cubs, breaking into cars.

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      • katie

        katie July 6, 2012, 3:11 pm

        aww, big bang theory. hilarious show.

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      • JK

        JK July 6, 2012, 3:09 pm

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      • avatar

        rachel July 6, 2012, 3:15 pm

        OMG, that’s so hilarious, and adorable.

        Snowmass is up in the mountains, near Aspen, so a couple hours away.

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      • chicotia

        Amy July 6, 2012, 3:48 pm

        Where do you live Rachel? I live in Denver.
        Rachel is my middle name 🙂

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      • avatar

        rachel July 6, 2012, 3:58 pm

        I’m in Fort Collins. Where you have you been for our 2 sad Colorado meetups?

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      • katie

        katie July 6, 2012, 4:05 pm

        They were not sad they were awesome and there was good nachos!!

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      • avatar

        rachel July 6, 2012, 4:10 pm

        Haha, no, they were awesome, and the nachos were impressive. The turnout was a bit sad. Though I’m very glad to have met you and Sampson 🙂

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson July 6, 2012, 4:44 pm

        What the hell rachel? Are Katie and I not enough to satisfy your DW meet up needs? I’m offended.

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      • avatar

        rachel July 6, 2012, 5:04 pm

        🙁 Don’t be offended, I love you guys! I just meant that I know there are a lot of Colorado people who were no-shows.

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      • katie

        Katie July 6, 2012, 6:50 pm

        no thats true… remember how mad sampson was that we had no lurkers? haha…

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      • chicotia

        Amy July 6, 2012, 4:07 pm

        I didn’t know about them! I’ll try to pay better attention and make the next one.

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats July 8, 2012, 3:32 am

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl July 6, 2012, 3:08 pm

      Amen on the teleporting.

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    • avatar

      MMcG July 6, 2012, 6:27 pm

      I would be completely happy with strategically placed pneumatic tubes to shoot me to and fro;)

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  • avatar

    Anna July 6, 2012, 2:24 pm

    I wish I could suddenly start to love exercising. I don’t consider myself terribly fat but if I got down a couple more sizes to a 10 again it would be awesome. The problem is I really don’t like exercising. Running is like torture to me, and working out in a gym is almost as bad. I like swimming but don’t have regular access to a pool.

    I also wish I lived closer to my middle sister. She’s in Florida and stuck in a really bad/emotionally abusive marriage with an alcoholic. She won’t leave him because they have 3 kids and she thinks it’s wrong to break up the family (good old Christian morals, sigh) for her own happiness. I wish I lived closer so I could be there for her more than just talking on the phone.

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    • avatar

      caffeinatrix July 7, 2012, 12:10 am

      Anna, why don’t you trying biking? I have a hard time being consistent with exercise too, but it was much easier once I started riding a bike to work and to run errands. I don’t ride nearly as much now because I live close enough to everything that I mostly just walk, but it’s a lot of fun.

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      • avatar

        Anna July 7, 2012, 1:10 am

        If I could ride a bike to work or to run errands, that would be awesome. I did that at my last apartment when I lived in a small town (for running errands, not work. My drive to work is about 40 min so there’s no way I could bike that far). Now I live right on a main highway where the 18-wheelers go past my house at about 60 mph and the shoulder is about 6″ wide before it drops down into a huge ditch. It would be very dangerous to ride a bicycle on my road. There are bicycle trails nearby if I found some way to fit my bike into my car. I’ve done that once or twice when I had a pickup truck and it was easy to load and unload.

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      • avatar

        Trixy Minx July 7, 2012, 2:03 am

        The best shape I was ever in was because I rode my bike everywhere. I wish I could do that now but with the 110 degree summers and my work being so far away its too hard.

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      • avatar

        caffeinatrix July 8, 2012, 12:50 am

        Yeah, a 40 min drive would probably be a good 2-hour bike ride, at least. I’m not sure I’d be committed enough to do that regularly either!

        The road I have to ride on now sounds similar to yours- it’s a highway/the main road through town, and people either drive like bats outta hell, or the road is backed up from tourist and commuter traffic. Technically people can ride bikes there, but it can be nerve wracking. What’s really maddening is that there is a bike lane along that main route- it just suddenly ceases to exist when it hits my city, then reappears at the border of the next town over!

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      • avatar

        Anna July 9, 2012, 3:34 am

        It’s very rare to see a road with a bike lane here. The closest thing I’ve seen is in a town about 25 min NE of where I live. This town has a high Amish population so they have special horse-drawn buggy lanes on a couple of the main roads. I’m not kidding. They had to widen the road and add the buggy lanes because motorists were getting really pissed off when they get stuck behind a buggy going 15 mph in a 55 zone.

        I’d be willing to bet that if I rode a bicycle to work it would take over 2 hours, maybe even 3, because the route I take in my car is mostly divided highway where it’s illegal and very unsafe to ride a bicycle. I would have to re-route to only two-lane roads, and that route would take 50-55 min each way to drive. Not to mention I work 12-hour shifts so I’d be way too tired to bike home afterwards.

        I’m looking to buy a house right now and hoping to find one on a quiet side street in the country so that I can actually leave my driveway outside of my car without getting run over.

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  • avatar

    Alecia July 6, 2012, 2:26 pm

    I would have been more financially aware so I didn’t feel bad for still living at home and I also would have mastered a language to make some extra money.

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  • Kristina

    Kristina July 6, 2012, 2:34 pm

    I always have a hard time with a question like this because I truly wouldn’t change much of anything in my life. I’ve gone from rock bottom to pure happiness and I’m grateful for each day I have and all the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I also hate to think ‘Why me?’, but honestly, if I could change it, I wouldn’t be having the health problems I suffer from. It sucks and I never let on to my friends and boyfriend just how much it sucks. I think, I’m too young for this, and I wish I could be more carefree about it all. I’m still in denial about my health issues, and the scariest part is the not knowing.

    I also wish I could gain weight and *finally* get to my goal weight. I have always had a fast metabolism, but I hate how hard it is to gain weight in a healthy way, and how frustrating it is to be stuck like this.

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    • avatar

      Ally July 7, 2012, 5:44 pm

      It’s so ridiculous that a slim person can be constantly told they look like they need a good meal, but almost no one would turn to an overweight person and tell them that they should eat less. It’s situations like yours that show not everyone has a choice about their weight. Really hope you get to your goal and can manage, if not overcome, your health issues.

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      • Kristina

        Kristina July 8, 2012, 1:58 am

        As much as it does bother me when people think it’s okay to ask me about my weight (I’m not even underweight these days, but I am too thin for my taste), the worst is when someone says, “I wish I had your problem”.

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  • katie

    katie July 6, 2012, 2:41 pm

    this is a hard one… i guess i would say that i wish i knew who my family is. i actually have a really big family, but they all hate each other and there was some suing before i was born and stuff so none of them talk. i was actually at my uncle’s lake house this past weekend (he is the only one of my mom’s siblings who will speak to her) and i met my long lost cousin for the first time.. i didnt even know i HAD a long lost cousin! lol.. he’s not a blood relation to me, but he is the step-son of my blood cousin… so like a step second cousin? i dont know. but i didnt even know he existed! and i was thinking about it, he is 19, and his half sister (who is my blood cousin’s daughter) is 8, so he would have been 11 when she was born, and assuming that they had some sort of relationship before she was born, thats probably 10 years he has been in my families life and i didnt even know about it. thats weird, right? does that happen in real life?

    anyway, thats what i would pick. i just want to know them. to just meet them. to decide for myself to cut them out of my life and not have that decision made for me before i was born. that would be nice.

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    • avatar

      rachel July 6, 2012, 2:51 pm

      I also don’t know most of my extended family. My mom’s parents died when I was 8 and 12, and I think they were kind of the last thread holding everyone together, so I haven’t seen or really even heard from most of my family since then. And, of course, it’s due to weird issues between my mom and her family, that I really have nothing to do with.

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      • katie

        katie July 6, 2012, 3:10 pm

        thats the part i hate the most- i have nothing to do with your issues! you dont even know me!! lol, but its true.

        my sister actually decided last weekend that she is going to find all of our other cousins (there are quite a few of them, apparently) and go up to their door, and just say, WTF cousin? were cousins. thats her grand plan.. lol.

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      • avatar

        rachel July 6, 2012, 3:17 pm

        Funny. I’m friends with one cousin on facebook, the one closest to my age, but I still don’t imagine us like, having a big family reunion where we suddenly are super close.

        I have a lot of cousins, and probably they all have kids by now cuz they’re older than me. And I have a half sister, who I can’t imagine would ever want to talk to me because she’s pretty furious with my mom. And then of course, there’s the fact that I’ve never met my father…though I’m not too heartbroken about that one. I think I have a few half-siblings from him too though.

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      • katie

        katie July 6, 2012, 3:22 pm

        having half siblings you have never met seems way crazier to me then never meeting extended family like uncles or cousins… i mean, you share a parent! thats insane. wow

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    • JK

      JK July 6, 2012, 2:55 pm

      I´ve never met my grandfather (on my mother´s side). Supposedly Ipm not missing out on much (he is/was an asshole), but I used to feel like I was missing out on something.
      Arturo doesn´t know a whole side of his family (long story), and he´s not even a little bit intrigued I don´t get it. I´ve even offered to help him search for them (with FB and stuff it must be a lot easier now), but he wants nothing to do with them.

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  • avatar

    mcj2011 July 6, 2012, 2:42 pm

    I would love to be home with my kids,for my husband to work less, travel more, have the straight bouncy hair i have w/out blowing it out for an hour. I too would love to love exercising! I try to love it and when i do it I feel so good about it but it’s the getting to do it part that’s the problem.

    If I could change anything, I would have gone to college not trade school and became a teacher. Biggest regret I have!

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  • avatar

    Christy July 6, 2012, 2:49 pm

    Hmm… life is pretty good right now. Things I would change, though:
    1. Air travel would be more pleasant. The last time I flew, I had strep throat and a double ear infection, and I was cutting a trip short. So my feelings towards flying aren’t exactly positive at the moment, and I’m flying to CA at the end of the month.
    2. Squish DC and Baltimore closer together, and make the culture of DC into the culture of Baltimore. I have people I love in both places, and I wish it didn’t always involve an hour or two on the road (counting my blessings, though–my gf’s family is on the other side of the country). Also I hate DC’s DCishness.
    3. Make it illegal to drive in DC/make metro better/make PEPCO better.
    4. Permanently gorgeous eyebrows/no other facial hairs.
    5. My roommate’s cat would be perfectly behaved.

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    • JK

      JK July 6, 2012, 2:51 pm

      Ooh, can I steal 4?

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary July 6, 2012, 2:57 pm

      MAKE PEPCO BETTER!!!

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    • avatar

      Taylor July 6, 2012, 3:34 pm

      YES to 4!!

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  • JK

    JK July 6, 2012, 2:50 pm

    Holy crap, I thought that photo was a painting at first!

    I´ve always lived far away from someone in my family, at least. Growing up in NZ, my grandmother, aunt and cousins were here in Argentina. Turns out that was no great loss.
    Now I have my father, sister and nieces and nephew in NZ. I don´t have the best r/ship with my dad or my sister, but it is horrible being so far away from the kids, plus they´re really close in age to mine, so I would love for them to grow up close.

    As for everything else (taking out the money to build already, and change my car which we are going to put off until we build) I would make my bones a bit smaller. I am really big boned, but small and flat butt, so jeans always look like shit, if they fit around my hips they´re too big on the rest of me.

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    • JK

      JK July 6, 2012, 4:21 pm

      Thought of something else: I´d LOVE to actually have a good night´s sleep, even if it´s just one a month or so. I seriously can´t remember the last time I got a full 6/7 hours, let alone more.

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    • avatar

      daisy July 7, 2012, 6:35 am

      Just chiming in with Wendy and JK about how hard it is to live far from family. I’ve lived abroad for almost 8 years now, and I guess I just assumed it would get easier with time — but it hasn’t at all! And now my parents are getting older (and my grandma just turned 97!), and sometimes I feel like the worst daughter in the world for choosing to live in a place that’s so far away. I’m thankful that they support me and understand I’m happy here but man, I wish it were just a little closer!

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      • avatar

        Nadine July 7, 2012, 7:11 am

        Ah the living far away! For me its for a limited time but god I wish I could live in London with Auckland just an hour train ride away or something.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark July 6, 2012, 2:52 pm

    Eh, oh, where to start? At this point, pretty much everything. But I certainly would never go chasing after any of my dreams again… That was a profoundly bad idea. Learn from my mistakes.

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    • avatar

      Taylor July 6, 2012, 3:35 pm

      Your moniker is so apt!

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      • katie

        katie July 6, 2012, 3:42 pm

        … youre new here, huh?

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      • avatar

        Taylor July 6, 2012, 3:53 pm

        Nope, but when I read BGM’s comments, some part of my brain often goes “yikes, that’s harsh, or a bummer”. But then I remember that his name is BGM, so I ought not be surprised, bc he’s so up front about where he’s coming from. That internal monologue happens at least once a week when I’m DW’ing, you’d think I’d learn =)

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  • avatar

    rachel July 6, 2012, 2:54 pm

    I wish I had more willpower. Like, I’m awful with procrastination, and I eat horribly and don’t exercise nearly enough. I think if I had more determination with those kinds of things day to day, my life would be better for it.

    I would love to take my mom’s pain away. She is constantly in pain, and is depressed, and really doesn’t do much of anything with herself because of those things. I always feel a bit sad when I experience something new and awesome, because I know she will never do anything like it.

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    • JK

      JK July 6, 2012, 2:57 pm

      Your 1st paragraph so applies to me, as well. I have 0 willpower.

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  • avatar

    kerrycontrary July 6, 2012, 2:58 pm

    I, like Christy, would make Pepco better so that I didn’t lose power and subsequently all the food in my fridge 1-2 times a summer. I would also like to have any outstanding hairs magically removed from my body so I didn’t waste hours and money of my life on grooming.

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    • avatar

      Christy July 6, 2012, 3:11 pm

      Oh! And I’d make the library job market better. Mostly by removing old slash ineffective librarians.

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary July 6, 2012, 3:55 pm

      Oh, I would also not have migraines. This is the biggest thing in my life I would change. Always.

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  • avatar

    Kimothy July 6, 2012, 2:59 pm

    I’d change my genetics so I wouldn’t have any illnesses. Also i’d be taller so that people on the street didn’t mock me for my height.

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    • JK

      JK July 6, 2012, 3:01 pm

      People say things to you about your height? Holy shit.
      I´d change that last part to “make other people realize wtf they´re doing before being such rude, inconsiderate assholes”

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      • avatar

        Kimothy July 8, 2012, 5:40 am

        I would too but then again it would be nice to be able to reach the top shelf without having to ask for help

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      • avatar

        painted_lady July 8, 2012, 2:01 pm

        Tall people get it too. Nothing like being made to feel like a freak show by perfect strangers.

        And yeah, I’d like to find a pair of jeans that don’t become floods after the first wash.

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  • avatar

    bethany July 6, 2012, 3:00 pm

    Now that I’m thinking about it… I’d really like a B Cup–a nice small, perky B. Enough to look good in most tops, not enough to be annoying while running/doing yoga. Like Mila Kunis boobs… That and teleporting, and I’d be set!

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    • avatar

      bethany July 6, 2012, 3:10 pm

      One more, and then I’m stopping, I swear!! I’d like my sex drive back, too. That would be nice.

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  • SweetsAndBeats

    SweetsAndBeats July 6, 2012, 2:03 pm

    I would have a college degree (and a career), and have my arms and legs laser-hair-removal-ed.

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    • avatar

      Trixy Minx July 6, 2012, 2:08 pm

      I am so happy to have blond hair. I am far to lazy to regularly pluck my eyebrows let alone wax any mustache I would have.

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      • Lili

        Lili July 6, 2012, 5:03 pm

        I don’t think I’d ever laser my eyebrows, the trends change so often that its scary to me to think that something permanent could become outdated. I don’t mind the occasional lip wax because its like required MAYBE twice a year for me, and other times I can use at home wax for it.

        Also, I know i’m weird but I don’t mind shaving my legs/underams and using Nair on my arms. Like lasers being pointed at my skin scares me far more than shaving. I also don’t think I could ever get lasik, I’m SO scared of things going wrong…and who knows what the long term effects are of these procedures.

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      • JK

        JK July 6, 2012, 5:35 pm

        Lasik scares me too. I always remember that Simpsons episode where everyone turned out blind in the future because of it. And it sucks, because I have one eye that´s totally fine, but the other is quite myopic, and contacts freak me out too.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh July 6, 2012, 5:39 pm

        i’ve worn contacts since i was 12 and i so wish i wasn’t terrified of lasik. it would be so amazing to wake up and be able to see without glasses/contacts. i haven’t been able to do that since i was like 8 lol.

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      • JK

        JK July 6, 2012, 5:42 pm

        A friend of mine had a degenerative eye disease to the point where she could barely see light, and she got her eyes done years ago and loves it, but now (10 yrs later) she´s started wearing glasses again.

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      • avatar

        rachel July 6, 2012, 5:40 pm

        I’m with you JK. I’ve had glasses since I was 5, due to a pretty bad astigmatism, and I even have a few friends who have had success with lasik. But, the consequences if something were to go wrong are just too scary for me, even to not have to deal with glasses ever again. (I don’t like contacts either)

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      • avatar

        Traci July 8, 2012, 12:12 pm

        I had lasik surgery last August, and I could not be happier with the results. I had bad astigmatism and no other vision correction, but I could never find contacts that worked well enough to be worth it. I now see 20/20 in my left eye and 20/15 in my right eye.

        I actually DID have something “go wrong” during the procedure. My left eye developed “bubbles” across my field of vision right after the initial cornea incision was made. It was no one’s fault; I didn’t move during the procedure and my doctor didn’t do anything wrong. It is a natural occurrence, though a very rare one. I was one of three people in my surgeon’s 15-year history to ever have this problem develop during surgery.

        The only thing to do was sit and wait for the bubbles to dissipate naturally, and then the surgery could proceed. This resulted in me sitting in a dark room while my husband read to me…for FIVE HOURS. The general procedure for lasik is to give the patient vicodin to help them relax, and topical anesthesia (in eye drop form) to numb the eyes. Well, as it turns out, vicodin doesn’t do a damn thing for me, and the anesthesia wore off in about 5 minutes. And since the cut was already made in my corneas, the doctor didn’t want to risk drying out my eyes by adding more numbing drops. As a result, I spent 5 hours in a lot of pain. The nurses were wonderful and did their best to make me comfortable (they even snuck me more vicodin, which didn’t help). Finally after 5 hours of waiting, the bubbles dissipated on their own, and we were able to finish the surgery.

        The actual surgery took about a minute total, just seconds per eye. They put more anesthesia drops in my eyes and I didn’t feel a thing. That is how the surgery normally goes; they make the initial corneal incision, do the corrective surgery, and you’re done in about 15 minutes. Then, with the help of the vicodin, you go home and sleep it off and when you wake up BOOM, perfect vision. That is exactly what happened with me, except I needed to take several benadryl to fall asleep. Waking up was the strangest feeling; I remember looking at the clock and thinking, “Holy crap, I can SEE the numbers!”

        My very long-winded point is this: I pretty much had what everyone fears of having during lasik–something went wrong during my procedure. But I got through it and the results, at least to me, have been 100% worth it. I have better-than-perfect vision, and the healing process was pretty much nothing after that initial 5-hour wait. The worst part was the eye drop routine for the first few days; 4-5 kinds of drops every hour while you’re awake. But it was all SO WORTH IT. Even if I had to go through the whole ordeal, I would absolutely do it again.

        So, if you are interested in lasik and your doctor determines you are a good candidate for it, I say go for it! As for needing to wear glasses again in 10-20 years, any doctor will tell you that is NORMAL. Lasik will correct your vision as it is now, but it can’t prevent your eyes from aging. Aging will happen no matter what, and that is why people end up needing glasses again years after having lasik. Their eyes didn’t “revert” to their old prescription, they simply age and develop natural age-related vision difficulties. I still say it’s worth it; I’d much rather have to wear reading glasses occasionally when I’m 50 than have aging eyes on top of my old astigmatism!

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      bethany July 6, 2012, 2:19 pm

      I highly reccomend laser hair removal! Well worth the $$!!

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark July 6, 2012, 4:49 pm

        I need so much laser hair removal it’s sad.

        Link
  • theattack

    theattack July 6, 2012, 3:06 pm

    1. I wish I enjoyed exercising or could at least make myself do it.
    2. I wish my boobs were shaped differently. I hate how they go to the side instead of being properly in the front. It makes them look smaller than they are.
    3. I wish I had better dental health. My teeth are so horrible, despite six years of braces and dedicated brushing and flossing. I don’t know what else to do for them at this point besides wish that I had better genes and keep filling my cavities and having oral surgeries over and over again.
    4. I wish I were more interesting and could make friends more easily.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      rachel July 6, 2012, 3:08 pm

      UGH. Add the dental health one to my list, too. I still have a list of fillings and crowns that need to be done when I have the time and money, though I’ve been working on it for a few years now.

      Reply Link
      • theattack

        theattack July 6, 2012, 3:11 pm

        It sucks because by the time you save up the money to have the dental work done, the old problems are worse, and there are just a bunch of new problems developed.

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      • avatar

        rachel July 6, 2012, 3:18 pm

        Yes! Like by the time I get the crowns I need, the teeth that now just need fillings will probably be worse and might need crowns!

        Link
    • avatar

      brendapie July 6, 2012, 3:13 pm

      If I had the means, I would just yank out all my teeth and get dental implants. I really wish I had taken better care of my teeth when I was younger because now I’m paying the price. Or I would be, if I could afford to get new fillings and crowns. I actually had an old filling partially break off some months ago but I can’t afford to get it fixed. /sigh

      Reply Link
      • theattack

        theattack July 6, 2012, 3:16 pm

        I was forced to get a dental implant last year when my tooth broke off at the base of it, and now I can’t afford to finish the surgery since it comes in three phases. Ugh. 🙁

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    • MackenzieLee

      ColorsOfTheWind July 8, 2012, 11:52 am

      I’m with you on the dental stuff. Luckily I’m young enough to still be on my parents’ insurance but no matter what I do my teeth get more and more cavities. I have those people who never have cavities without doing anyhing

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    brendapie July 6, 2012, 3:10 pm

    I wish I had made better choices in college. I love what I studied but I never thought about how I would use my degree once I was graduated. I was too caught up in the whole notion of doing what you love. Granted, that is something to aspire to but I didn’t once stop to think about how I would get there. I regret it so much.

    I wish I kept in touch with certain people I’ve met over the years. It’s wedding season and seeing all the pictures on Facebook of happy couples with their friends and family makes me feel so lonely. I miss meeting up with acquaintances to go out to eat or watch a movie or whatever. I spend most of my days alone and while I take care of my family’s dogs during the day, they don’t fulfill all my needs for love and attention.

    I would love it if I didn’t have to deal with facial hair. Ugh! I’m always plucking and I feel very anxious in public that people can see a stray hair that I missed. I would love to get braces again because after my wisdom teeth were pulled out my teeth started to spread out. I feel very uncomfortable with the gaps between my teeth but I don’t have the money to fix it right now.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      brendapie July 6, 2012, 3:14 pm

      once I graduated*

      Reply Link
  • Lili

    Lili July 6, 2012, 3:11 pm

    I Love this topic! I’m currently experiencing a bad case of ennui. Its totally hormonal, I mean I get it like clockwork along with the stomach cramps, the fat bloat and general listlessness that comes with feeling tired and drained all the time. Exercise, that I normally like as long as its a fun class, only makes all my aches and pains worse, so its really hard to work up the energy. So, I guess change #1 would be to change my internal makeup to NOT get these feelings/pains/energy drains when certain hormone levels dip.

    Change #2 would be an overall way to rid myself of all the negative self talk I internalize and change my opinions on myself at the core. I know these negative self views didn’t occur over night, so beating them will not be an over night process. But still, It’d be nice to not always think that deep down in my core, I’m easily replaceable and not special. I see the beauty and uniqueness in others, but turn the mirror to myself, and its like hollow talk.

    Change #3 would be to get myself some motivation. I have a lot of big ideas, but since it involves having confidence in myself to carry out, none ever happen. I’ll gladly sign up to volunteer for any cause, but when the ’cause’ is Lili, i do nothing. Its sad really and I know I also end up resenting people who I feel I invest in, when they don’t do the same.

    Ok those are 3 big things for now. I know they’re all selfish, but hey ennui brings about a very self focused view!

    Reply Link
    • theattack

      theattack July 6, 2012, 3:17 pm

      Yes! Stopping the negative talk totally needs to happen for me too! Which, I guess negates all the other things I want to change.

      Reply Link
    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny July 6, 2012, 5:05 pm

      I am totally with you on the negative thinking stuff. I will talk myself out of things constantly. I think my self esteem goes through various stages of crumminess constantly, and it sucks.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    GatorGirl July 6, 2012, 3:12 pm

    Hmm. Other than wishing I had more money- I really love my life. I wish I could see my family more, which the money would allow. And I would have bought a house a year ago when I moved to FL.

    One thing I would change for real though is my anxiety. I have a history of panic attacks and man do they suck.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Eagle Eye July 6, 2012, 4:35 pm

      Have you looked into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? I used to get really bad panic attacks and while they’re not totally gone (still get a flare up every now and then), I get them much less frequently and they’re not as bad (ie I’m much better at handling them/ brushing them off).

      I know that I did mine through a university so they also had a sliding scale for payment.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        GatorGirl July 7, 2012, 12:14 am

        I’ve got things basically under controll now- maybe one or two panic attacks per year for the past three years, but there were a few years in undergrad that it was an almost weekly occurrence. I was on medal for a bit, but I’ve been off for almost four years.

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  • avatar

    ktfran July 6, 2012, 3:22 pm

    I don’t know that there is a lot I would change. Some people bring up some pretty good points. More money, no illness, etc. But I’m generally happy.

    Family has been talked about here lately. I have two younger sisters. One is two years younger, the other is six. I was mean to the middle sister. Not sister mean, but really mean. I did not like her. And I have no idea why. We have a great relationship now and spend a lot of time together. Heck, she’s my emergency contact. So that is what I would change. Be nicer to my sister. Because I bet I missed out on getting to know a pretty cool kid.

    I also don’t believe in regrets because those regrets shape who we are today. So this question is really hard for me.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    brendapie July 6, 2012, 3:33 pm

    On a more positive note, I would love to date (and possibly marry) a British guy. I’ve always loved the UK and have dreams of living there someday. I love British accents and I think I would just melt if I could hear my name being said with that particular accent. I’ve always wanted to live in a gorgeous English country cottage. It may not be possible to actually move and live there permanently so my more realistic goal is to find a cottage home here in the SF Bay Area. I know there are little pocket neighborhoods with storybook cottages (usually 1mil+ price tag) and I hope that one day I’ll be able to move into one of them.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      daisy July 7, 2012, 6:38 am

      I dated a British guy for a couple years, and he totally ruined the accent for me — I think I’m more bitter about that than anything else that happened in the relationship! 😛

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Taylor July 6, 2012, 3:48 pm

    Great topic Wendy!

    I’d have my people closer to me geographically. We’re in too many state, countries, and continents. I’d live somewhere with more moderate winters (Cleveland, boo the winter). And AMEN to all the facial hair comments above.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Addie Pray July 6, 2012, 3:57 pm

    I wish my sibilings and I lived in the same city. I wish we could have family meals every Sunday, go to the kids’ recitals and whatnot, rely on each other for things like watering the plants while we’re away or watching the kids, and just pop over unexpectedly to see if there’s anything good to eat. Flying here and there to visit family for short but intense 48 hours is draining – physically, emotionally, financially, everythingly. Seriously. What’s the point? You move away and talk about wanting to live close and then at the end of your life you realize you spent it without the people you care about the most and then you die.

    Reply Link
    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson July 6, 2012, 4:39 pm

      This is a really inspiration post Addie.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      daisy July 7, 2012, 6:40 am

      My parents and sister have been trying to convince me to move back to America for 8 years… but AP’s post may have just done it…

      Reply Link
    • othy

      Othy July 9, 2012, 10:36 am

      I know what you mean. My brother’s wife just had a baby, and it’ll be months before I make it up there to meet her! Of course, my family is spread out all across the US, and it would be hard to make everyone move to the same place.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    McLovin July 6, 2012, 4:07 pm

    At the moment I really wish I hadn’t stopped at Taco Bell for lunch. I’m really regretting that decision.

    Bigger picture, I often wonder how I would have done had I gotten in to coaching football after college. I have 2 friends that are relatively successful at it now, but their families suffer from a lack of closeness due to the travel involved in recruiting and all the *special, everyday* things that are missed because of it.

    Otherwise I feel fortunate to have good relationships with friends and family and the ability to laugh at myself when it’s warranted.

    Reply Link
    • Lili

      Lili July 6, 2012, 4:27 pm

      Please tell me you had the doritos taco. That and volcano tacos are the only things I ever eat at taco bell, but man are they good. My stomach can hate me after, I don’t care, but the joy I get from eating orange and red taco shells is unparalleled.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Slamy July 6, 2012, 5:57 pm

        the dorito taco is so good. so. damn. good. especially at 3 in the morning.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray July 6, 2012, 6:00 pm

        kissing people with dorito taco breadth at 3 am is also so. damn. good. [not really]

        it’s super gross when people’s farts smell like dorito tacos. [really]

        i’m gonna stop talking now.

        Link
    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson July 6, 2012, 6:12 pm

      Taco bell is so good. Just the whole place.

      Reply Link
      • JK

        JK July 6, 2012, 6:13 pm

        They don´t have taco bell here either. 🙁

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      • JK

        JK July 6, 2012, 6:14 pm

        I mean apart from KFC, Wendy´s, and I can´t remember what else.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray July 6, 2012, 6:29 pm

        But, you’ve tried taco bell, right? Imma include hot sauce in your daughter’s care package, lol. … p.s. No wonder you’re thin. I blame taco bell for all the fat cells acquired during puberty.

        Link
      • JK

        JK July 6, 2012, 6:33 pm

        Never. 🙁 They didn´t have it in NZ either (not sure if they do now).
        Apparently there´s an investment group that´s going to bring back Wendy´s, bring KFC ad I think they said something about Taco Bell, as well.
        Here´s hoping!

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      • avatar

        Caris July 8, 2012, 2:54 pm

        You are not missing anything. Trust me.

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      • avatar

        MMcG July 6, 2012, 6:31 pm

        I seek out, gorge, regret and then repeat taco bell every so often. It’s almost soothing…

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      • avatar

        MMcG July 6, 2012, 6:31 pm

        I should note, I used to rock Del Taco on the west side. all the joy of taco bell + fries!

        Link
  • chicotia

    Amy July 6, 2012, 4:12 pm

    I would love to live closer to my family but I chose Colorado over NJ for a lot of reasons.

    I also wish I lived closer to my best friend. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and almost 2 year old twins. I hate thinking that they don’t remember me. That being said I wish I had the means to visit more often.

    I also wish that I had a job right now as I am getting pretty lazy in this heat!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    AnotherWendy July 6, 2012, 4:25 pm

    I wish my family lived closer – I’m in New England, a sister in upstate New York, a sister in Kentucky and my parents live in the southwest. I am jealous of spontaneous family dinners that my friends have, and I wish my daughter got to spend more time with her grandparents and Aunts and cousins.

    I wish my ADD had be diagnosed much earlier than my 40s! It explains so much. yes, there are some really great things about having ADD, but I wish I knew I had it to learn how to manage the negative parts of it at a much earlier point in my life.

    I wish I would have been able to be home full time or work part-time for a good portion of my child’s life. I am lucky I have always had a job where my day was flexible, so I know I have spent more time with her than many people who work full time get to spend with their kids. But still, part-time would have been perfect.

    I wish when my ex and I, pre-child, had a chance to do a volunteer program in the Dominican Republic for a year that we would have done it and not talked ourselves out of it.

    And I would totally love to be a B-cup, maybe a C-cup. But I’m a DD-cup, and I”m short,so it’s just too much really. And aging doesn’t help the situation!

    And I wish exercise was just a habit that I had and I did it every day without even thinking about it.

    And that’s it, for now….

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Addie Pray July 6, 2012, 5:29 pm

      “I wish my family lived closer – I’m in [Chicago], a sister in [Boston], a sister [and a mom] in [Missouri], [a brother in Minneapolis and a brother in San Diego]. I am jealous of spontaneous family dinners that my friends have, and I wish my [future] daughter got to spend more time with her Aunts [and uncles] and cousins.” <——-OMG ME TOO EXACTLY (ONCE I EDITED A BIT)!

      We basically said the exact same thing until you mentioned being a DD-cup you bitch. [Sorry, slipped]

      Reply Link
      • Lili

        Lili July 6, 2012, 5:36 pm

        I would change how much DW time Addie gets, so she can be on here like ALL WORK DAY Long I miss her so.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray July 6, 2012, 10:01 pm

        But I’m still here, right? RIGH?? Right. Muah!

        Link
  • LadyinPurpleNotRed

    LadyinPurpleNotRed July 6, 2012, 5:01 pm

    I’m pretty happy with my life overall, I just wish that I was more confident. I can fake it well, but when it comes down to it, I’m thankful if I can muster up just a little bit of confidence.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      McLovin July 6, 2012, 5:41 pm

      I’m curious if you feel less confident about yourself around certain types of people? Or, if you generally feel that way most of the time?

      Reply Link
      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 6, 2012, 5:53 pm

        it’s at its worst around my family, but it’s not much better around people I feel comfortable with.

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      • avatar

        McLovin July 6, 2012, 6:20 pm

        Well confidence comes in so many different forms, let’s focus on what you feel good about and then find ways to apply it in family settings. Bam! By the way, I’m an only child so I’ve always had more than enough attention and affirmation, probably too much at times, but I bet between the 2 of us we can find ways to make family gatherings more easy to deal with!

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 6, 2012, 6:27 pm

        haha well I’ve had the opposite…I have an older brother and between the two of us, he gets more of the attention and I don’t do well when attention is on me.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray July 6, 2012, 6:28 pm

        Alrighty, you two, I approve of this blooming love — not as much as I would approve a blooming onion right now, mmm — but you need not flaunt it, get a room already!

        But first: McLovin, tell us your vitals. I’ve met Purple in person, and she’s lovely. How do you compare? For starters, how old are you? Are you a happily married mother of 2 messing with Purple’s emotions?

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 6, 2012, 6:31 pm

        I love blooming onions so I support that one! and thanks for looking out for me Addie!

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      • avatar

        McLovin July 6, 2012, 7:35 pm

        I’m just saying upfront AP, I’m not paying you for your consulting services on this one! But, the basics are: 43, 6’1″, 185, single/divorced with a 14 year old son and a dog that has serious attachment issues. I mean, I don’t have any problem talking about myself but the more personal stuff, and pictures, or whatever else I’m sure you can – and will come up with – I’m only sharing in private!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray July 6, 2012, 10:05 pm

        Don’t worry, I don’t charge for my match making. Mostly because I suck at it. I can’t get Brad a date to save my life. (No offense to Brad, but come on he’s so cute in his gravatar!) Anyhoo – in this case, McLovin, based on your “fetish,” you should still have a good chance with Purple (or any woman), but proceed with caution because Purple is about 15, give or take 7 years.

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      • avatar

        McLovin July 6, 2012, 10:21 pm

        I’m on it! She’s adorable. Wait, she got carded at the Chicago meetup huh?

        Link
      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 6, 2012, 11:16 pm

        It’s give…I’m 22. And yes I did get carded at the Chicago meet up.

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      • avatar

        McLovin July 7, 2012, 12:50 am

        You know how EVERYBODY gets carded at some places, like even the dude pulling an oxygen thing behind him? My little corner market is like that and I always wonder why customers give the cashier shit about it. It’s like, there’s 15 people in line on a Friday afternoon all wanting to pay for their beer, go home and get their drunk-on, yet there’s always one jackass that has to argue about showing their ID.

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 7, 2012, 8:54 am

        Ahhhhhhh yes, the one jackass…they really should learn to be less jackassy.

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      • avatar

        McLovin July 7, 2012, 12:28 pm

        Quick, don’t even think, what’s the first answer that pops into your head:
        favorite Will Ferrell movie?
        how do you feel about the no-huddle offense taking over college football?
        who would win a staring contest between Vince Vaughn and Jon Stewart?
        best thing about having boobs?
        is it always necessary to say excuse me after burping in line at the airport?

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 7, 2012, 1:16 pm

        Anchorman
        As long as games keep being fun to watch and result in me shouting passionately at the tv, I’m okay with it
        Vince Vaughn
        Picking out awesome bras for them
        Not if the people around you have been rude/are super annoying.

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      • avatar

        McLovin July 7, 2012, 1:24 pm

        Nice. Strong responses. I’d say those were, in fact, confident answers!

        Link
      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 7, 2012, 1:27 pm

        Well I just followed the instructions and didn’t think! If thought was allowed then there would have been waffling and wondering how my answers would have been perceived.

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      • avatar

        McLovin July 7, 2012, 1:43 pm

        I don’t see it that way, you played like a champion. Plus, there aren’t any right or wrong answers. It’s all about perception and I’m percepting that you’re merely hours away from being able to speak in front of large groups of people on any topic, anytime, anywhere, and for ridiculously large sums of money.

        just for shits and giggles, here’s the bonus round

        what’s the #1 rule of wedding crashing?
        true or false, men should never wear those idiotic panama hats? (not even on vacation)
        your ping pong skills could best be described as _________?
        your favorite day of the week is_________, because ______?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray July 7, 2012, 3:24 pm

        You two have completed step 1 of Addie Pray’s 3 steps to true love (ie, spilling your gooey love guts all over an open thread). Step 2 is where you email me your contact info to ninsjunk@hotmail.com, and I put you two in touch so you can continue to spill your gooey love guts in private. Step 3 is where you invite me to your wedding, because despite it all I LOVE going to (open-bar) weddings, especially if I don’t have to be in it. Good luck, McPurple!

        Link
      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 7, 2012, 3:17 pm

        I don’t know if I’d go *that* far.
        I don’t know what the movie says, but I say it’s have your cover story prepared.
        True
        My ping pong skills are non-existent
        My favorite day of the week is Sunday so I can watch football all day.

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      • avatar

        McLovin July 7, 2012, 4:06 pm

        AP I see what you did there. Discreetly implying that I either *go big or go home* and stop wasting valuable DW space that should clearly be used for other purposes. Challenge accepted.

        Link
  • avatar

    AliceInDairyLand July 6, 2012, 4:02 pm

    I have to say that there are not a lot of things that I would change in my life right now, which I am really grateful for… However there are always a few things that I would love to alter.

    1) I wish I had deferred a year after I found out I got into veterinary school. I was/am living my life like a 100m dash instead of a marathon, and it would have been nice to have taken a year to figure out who I am underneath all the stress. I had worked my butt off to not have any undergrad debt, so I wouldn’t have had that hanging over my head, or the stress of doing more to get accepted into school. It will be nice to graduate a year earlier, but I will have debt/responsibilities/stuff when I am finally done.

    2) I would have my Mom and I get along more. We hit a rough patch pretty much once I started dating my BF and it was getting serious. They have very different personalities, and I think my mother is scared to see me growing up and also possibly jealous because her own life is falling apart. I will love her forever, but she lost who she was trying to raise 3 kids and work and have a husband who wasn’t super involved. I hope she finds herself again.

    3) Give Southern WI some RAIN and cooler temperatures this summer. I almost threw up working outside on the farm this weekend I was so sunsick and overheated. My poor BF has been struggling to keep his crops going.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      bethany July 6, 2012, 4:07 pm

      WAIT A SECOND– You’re a Vet?!?! How did I miss this!! Ooh, now I can ask you about all my cat’s various issues! Kidding, I won’t do that, it’s super annoying, I’m sure. As it is, we see the vet every 3 months, so I have lots of time to ask her questions!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        jlyfsh July 6, 2012, 5:22 pm

        i know i saw that and i was like hmm second opinion? don’t want to run her away with random questions about my crazy dogs though 😉

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyLand July 7, 2012, 3:05 pm

        Haha, the operative word is veterinary STUDENT. I just finished up my first year, so I can tell you all about every nerve, organ, muscle, bony protruberance, and physiological or molecular phenomenon your dog/cat has…. I just can’t tell you what to do when something is wrong.

        🙂 Hopefully I figure it out soon!

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh July 6, 2012, 5:27 pm

    other than wishing my family and friends were closer, i’m not sure i would change a lot. i’m very happy where i am in my life right now. sure i wish i could lose a few of those extra lingering pounds and that my hair was straight instead of looking like i get a spiral perm every month, but really i’m happy. so if i did change anything else it would be that i could be more appreciative of what i do have.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      jlyfsh July 6, 2012, 6:32 pm

      ok so i lied after working outside for an hour i would change the climate of south carolina. at this point i’d be happy if the high was only 88. i’d also like to not be allergic to pollen and cats.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        AnotherWendy July 7, 2012, 8:10 am

        I want to add ‘”not allergic to pollen and cats” (and dogs) to my list! I have had so many problems this summer with allergies and asthma.

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  • avatar

    MMcG July 6, 2012, 6:38 pm

    I was going to go with something legit, within my control, that I really should change but am just lazy about (exercise, reading actual from paper books!, smoking) but then nahhhh… let’s go more fantasy: I would kill to have the ability to apply magic ointment and stop hair growth wherever I want. Yes, I know I am one of those complainers that people with thin/thinning hair would kill for. But, I could go without many of the many places I am more apelike than not. Perhaps that’s why it’s so easy for me to believe science based evolution.

    Oh that’s another fantasy, I wish I didn’t have to live in a world of stupid people who didn’t understand things like evolution, science, and the fact that those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it…

    Reply Link
  • Lili

    Lili July 6, 2012, 6:40 pm

    I want an entourage. A makeup artist, a hair dresser, a personal shopper/stylist and a life coach. And I need all 4 of these people to help me look presentable while I sit by the water sipping a mojito and eating nachos. Onion Rings Optional.

    Reply Link
    • LadyinPurpleNotRed

      LadyinPurpleNotRed July 6, 2012, 6:43 pm

      Onion rings shouldn’t be option…they should just be there.

      Reply Link
      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 6, 2012, 6:43 pm

        ahem…be *an* option

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      • Lili

        Lili July 6, 2012, 6:46 pm

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 6, 2012, 6:47 pm

        I want everything there…It’s quite strange. I feel like I should work out, but all I want to do is eat everything in all of the pictures.

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      • Lili

        Lili July 6, 2012, 6:50 pm

        I have dinner plans, but I’m yelping happy hour best onion rings right now and intend to stop in for a drink and rings, by myself because I hate sharing nachos and onion rings.

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed July 6, 2012, 6:52 pm

        Sharing may be caring, but screw you don’t touch my onion rings!!

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  • mandalee

    mandalee July 6, 2012, 8:58 pm

    I wish I could pause my life situation right where it is and stay here awhile. I’m finally in a city I love (Boston) surrounded by great friends, am married to my best friend, love my townhome and have an excellent paying nanny job that gives me time to go back to school and actually have hobbies. I just know this easygoing, amazing time isn’t going to last. My husband is due to get promoted in the next year, I’ll have to move, start over with friends, and *fingers crossed* open my preschool. Life is just going to get so “real” again and messy, that I wish I could just call a timeout and make it last a little longer. I feel like every moment I have to take a mental memory of it to save for the crazier times ahead. It’s doesn’t help that the last few years were a living nightmare, so it makes this time even more precious and rare.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Bethany July 8, 2012, 9:19 am

      I often wish I could pause life, too!

      Reply Link
  • lurkerliz

    Medie711 July 6, 2012, 9:42 pm

    My life is pretty great except I just got diagnosed with MS. I wish I could change that. Super depressing news for only being 27.

    Reply Link
    • JK

      JK July 6, 2012, 10:02 pm

      I´m sorry about your diagnosis. I hope the drs. manage to get your medication right quickly.

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      • chicotia

        Amy July 7, 2012, 11:08 am

        Medie- I was diagnosed with MS in 2007 when I was 30. If you need an ear and want to talk to someone you can email me (amyswain76@gmail.com). It was helpful for me when I was first diagnosed to reach out even though it was scary.

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny July 8, 2012, 1:17 am

      I’m sorry to hear this. My mom has MS, actually. She went through treatment when I was young, but nowadays, she’s doing quite well. I wish you all the best!

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      • lurkerliz

        Medie711 July 8, 2012, 2:52 pm

        Thank you everyone! I appreciate the replies! It has been a roller coaster lately! My family has been great. Some friends have accused me of “making it up” or its “just in my head” and that has added to the difficulty and I haven’t talked to my two closest friends in weeks because of that but mostly everyone has been very supportive. I appreciate the DW support!

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny July 8, 2012, 3:09 pm

        Oh no, that’s terrible that people think you’re making it up. Nonono (*shakes head vehemently*). It might seem to them that you look perfectly fine, but MS affects people in different ways and to varying degrees. My mom can walk ok, but her legs get stiff and she can’t do certain things because her equilibrium is way off. You couldn’t tell that just by looking at her. Have you looked into the National MS Society? I’m not very familiar with it myself, but I know they have local chapters that you can be in contact with to help give you some support.
        We’re here for you!!

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      • lurkerliz

        Medie711 July 8, 2012, 8:59 pm

        Thanks Moneypenny! I have been looking into some online support groups. My doctor is one of the best in the area and is so great and I met another patient in the waiting room and we exchanged info and have been talking because she is close to my age and just got diagnosed too. I SO appreciate the DW support! I’m a long time lurker and I never comment but I love DW community!

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny July 9, 2012, 12:28 am

        That is great!!! And I’m *sure* you will find even more people out there or groups where you can find more support as you go along as well. 🙂

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  • iwannatalktosampson

    iwannatalktosampson July 6, 2012, 9:54 pm

    I wish I had a better relationship with my in-laws. Anything you ever read about the situation is that as long as you’re spouse backs you up it’s all good. Well it’s not. It sucks. And they’re assholes. And the longer we’re together the more I notice how some of their shitty personality traits are genetic – and that scares me. The only major fights we ever have are about his family. But there’s no getting away from them because he will eventually inherit the family business. I hate it. I wish we could fight about money or things within us – instead of forces outside of us that we can’t control.

    I wish I could feel more confident in my life path. Career wise I mean. I love my job right now but I just want to feel stable. I want to know I’ll always love it. I want to know that I will be self-sufficient some day and be able to pay off all my loans and I won’t have those ‘I shouldn’t have gone 100,000 dollars in debt for law school’ regrets so many people have. I haven’t regretted my choice yet – but I’m scared I might.

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  • avatar

    Violet July 6, 2012, 10:32 pm

    That’s terrible, Wendy. 🙁 I really empathize with your travel plight. It seems unfortunate that there was not a way for your parents to visit you instead, at least until your son is older. Traveling that distance with a little one is no joke.

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  • Leroy

    Leroy July 6, 2012, 11:14 pm

    I wish that I’d had the confidence to cut my own hair earlier in life. For too long I had trusted barbers who – no matter what I told them – would give me the sort of haircut that you typically see on an 8 year old. Eventually I just gave up and started cutting my own hair, which isn’t easy. I’d gone through a transitional period – the Mad Max years – when my hairstyle resembled a form of landscape design. But eventually I developed the proper technique, and it was like I’d been dipped in chocolate.

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny July 8, 2012, 1:18 am

      Now I want to see this hairstyle!

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      • Leroy

        Leroy July 8, 2012, 4:06 pm

        You’d really have to see it in the context of my head, or it won’t make sense.

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny July 9, 2012, 12:31 am

        Hmm, perhaps someone needs a new profile picture…!

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  • avatar

    caffeinatrix July 7, 2012, 1:01 am

    So many things I wish I could change in my life right now…

    I wish I could afford a cute little beach cottage, all to myself, within biking distance to a beach where I could ride over and surf every morning before work. But it still needs to have a good size kitchen. I dream of having a dishwasher and a full size stove again. Tropical landscaping around the place would be very nice too. If I walk out the door and around my neighborhood, I can pretend for a little while that I live somewhere else. In reality, unfortunately, I’m stuck in what is simultaneously the jankiest, and also the most incredibly expensive apartment I’ve ever lived in- the downstairs studio of an illegal apartment complex behind one of those cute little beach cottages in my neighborhood. Over half of my electrical outlets are unusable, the kitchen set up is ugly and barely functional as a kitchen, there’s roaches, awful paint, and it goes on. Sigh… so near, and yet so far.

    I wish I had an easier time with dating. The last 2-3 men I’ve dated weren’t interested in anything beyond hooking up, and I don’t know how to stop attracting men who aren’t interested in finding someone to commit to, because I can’t believe they think I who would settle for that- not that I judge anyone’s hookup preferences, but I’ve tried and I know I can’t just casually date and hook up without getting attached and turning into an insecure mess.

    I also wish my family wasn’t so far away- we still all live in the same state, but they’re a 9-hour drive away now. This is the furthest away I’ve ever been from them, and it sucks. On the other hand, my recent move got me away from the family members I didn’t like and the hometown I was feeling trapped in. So, there’s that.

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  • avatar

    daisy July 7, 2012, 6:45 am

    I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. I turned 30 last month, so the fact that I still don’t know is becoming worrisome! I now have a plan to quit my job at the end of the summer, visit my family for a MONTH (hooray!) and then go full speed ahead figuring out what I want to do. Here’s hoping for an epiphany!

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  • avatar

    Nadine July 7, 2012, 9:24 am

    I wish was sure about my decision to become a teacher. I’m pretty darn sure, especially as I have a few extra plans if I absolutely hate it, but since everyone expected me to be one and I always said I didnt want to, I wonder if I’m just giving in. Also, I dont know what else I would do.
    Mostly I wish my boyfriend didnt work nights, but he just so loves being a bartender. He promises he doesnt want to do it forever, but I see how much it enriches his life…..
    Oh and I wish my parents could afford to come visit me, since they’ve never travelled and I miss them dreadfully. So basically scientists should really focus on the teleporter, since everyone in the world would be terribly grateful.

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  • fast eddie

    fast eddie July 7, 2012, 10:37 am

    A lot of things that can’t be changed include finishing school decades earlier then I did, growing up in a functional family, and a long list of regrets. Looking ahead, if my wife’s health were better then it is life would be more fun. Her breast cancer is in her lymph system and the treatment limits us a lot. Her orthopedic issues slow us down to a crawl which is frustrating.

    On the plus side we have a good retirement income, large nest egg, nice home in the country and wonderful cats. The kittens we foster are wonderful but it’s hard to take them back. I we won the lottery I’d buy some property with spring feed ponds to have fresh fish for dinner a few yards away. Except for her health there isn’t anything that begs to be different.

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    • fast eddie

      fast eddie July 9, 2012, 4:00 pm

      I would like to have sex a lot more often.

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  • avatar

    CattyGoLightly July 7, 2012, 9:14 pm

    Though I don’t like to wish for something different, because I know everything I experience now will change me and make me “grow” (whatever THAT means), I would still wish for my brother to still be alive. I am a better, more compassionate, and nicer person due to dealing with his death, but I still miss him every day.

    Other than that, I am changing the things I don’t like right now! I’ve been bored with living in the same place for a while(I love to travel and move new places), but I am moving to the Bay Area soon! I don’t like having a LDR, but moving will end that. I regret not learning Spanish sooner, but I’m taking classes now!

    I don’t want to regret things I could have changed.

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny July 8, 2012, 1:25 am

    I wish I had an easier time with romantic relationships. It seems like I have been saying this for years. It seems like meeting a guy who is (firstly) interested in more than just hooking up is next to impossible, or I meet guys who are emotionally scarred, or something (from their most recent breakup?), and don’t want to get involved in anything serious. I think this describes all of the guys I have dated in the last year and a half (and there were only 4 guys I dated, period, in that time). I sometimes consider moving to another city and starting all over. It seems like so many people move -here- to start over, to find themselves, to follow their dream, etc, but that hasn’t helped my love life, at. all.

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  • avatar

    talia July 8, 2012, 11:51 am

    I wish my partner had a different job. Actually, scratch that, he loves his job and I love listening to him talk excitedly about it. His passion for what he does is something that I really respect about him and find very attractive. I just wish that it wasn’t the kind of job where we might be forced to move without any control over where we go. I love that now we live close to family, in an awesome city with lots of career opportunities for me, and have a great group of friends. I just worry that this great situation won’t last due to his job and we will end up far from family, where I can’t pursue my own career dreams, in a place that isn’t where we would want to live, and I’d have to make friends and establish a social network from scratch all over again. When I think about that prospect too much, it really freaks me out. I just wish that the decision to move wasn’t completely out of our control, so that if we moved it would be because we wanted to and had found a place we really wanted to move to.

    That and I wish my partner and I both didn’t have so many allergies. He’s allergic to cats, dogs, and pollen and I’m allergic to dust, mildew, and a bunch of other things. Between the two of us, one person is pretty much always sneezing in any given situation. 🙂

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