Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekly Forum Highlights

This week in the forums, we’re discussing:

Newly Dating – He Keeps Trying to Go Through My Phone

LA/California DWers: need help with novel research!

Greece/Mediterranean/Traveling alone

Should we get back together?

In-Law Horror Stories

How do I tell my boss I’m bored at work/ask for more responsibility?

Husband wants divorce

Need advice for casual dating

[My Mother refuses to sleep alone.] Is this Weird?

Is it inappropriate to send my younger sister condoms?

(I just started watching this!) Orange Is the New Black

Online dating and Facebook request?

We’ve Been Dating over a Year and Still Haven’t Met

eHarmony v. Match.com v. OKCupid v. POF

Family Doesn’t Approve of My Significant Other

MEETUPS:

Chi Meetup – Tues. Aug. 27 – TORO SUSHI!

Houston — Aug. 31?

Minnesota — end of Aug/ early September? (hint: if you want to do this, someone pick a date, time and place and those who can make it will come and those who can’t will cry)

Northern/NE Ohio

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].

100 comments… add one
  • avatar

    GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 1:20 pm

    I didn’t feel like starting a whole forum thread about this, but guys I hate cockroaches. Apparently this wet FL summer we’re having is driving them indoors and/or other weird places that they shouldn’t be. I found a mostly dead one in the bathroom this morning and Sunday there where like 5 in our grill cover. F-ing disgusting.

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    • theattack

      theattack August 14, 2013, 1:24 pm

      oh my god, I’m never going to Florida again. That is terrifying, GatorGirl. Ridiculous.

      I’m with you on hating roaches. I become so irrational around them that I honestly think in my panic I would kill myself to avoid one. It’s my only fear about getting a pistol. I think I might shoot a roach and kill someone or just shoot myself. Summer is terrible anyway though. Let’s just hope for a cold winter to kill them all off.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 1:29 pm

        Ha, cold winter in FL??

        Yeah, I was PISSED when they ran out of the grill cover when we pulled it off. We spent the next hour cleaning our already clean porch & grill, and then bug spraying the shit out of basically everything. We used the grill Monday and there where no roach sightings but shit they are NASTY. Apparently the pest control people should be here with in a week and will spray again.

        Living on the first floor definitely compounds our bug problem.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 1:32 pm

        Yeah, first floor apartments are terrible for that reason. I read somewhere that catnip plants keep away roaches, but I don’t know if it actually works. Frank probably thinks it’s worth a shot though. 😉

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 2:04 pm

        I’ll have to look into that! At least the one’s that show up inside the apt are usually on the way to dead, but the super alive one’s out side…barf.

        We had a baby lizard run in Tuesday. He got lost in the closet and I feel bad that he’s going to die in there.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 1:26 pm

      EWWWW. I think I would move. Haha.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 1:30 pm

        haha, we’ll have to move out of state! Cockroaches are just a part of life down here. Hopefully we’ll be moving out of state with in the next two years.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 2:13 pm

        I guess I’m lucky. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen one.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 2:16 pm

        I had only seen maybe one or two until I moved down here. Now, I probably see one a week, mostly outside in the parking lot.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 2:22 pm

        How have you never seen a roach before? Are they not as prevalent up North? If you go into the woods and sit still for a few minutes down here, you’ll probably see one. I find them while collecting firewood every time. Even people with the cleanest of houses find at least one roach a year inside.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 2:26 pm

        They are not nearly as common up north.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 2:32 pm

        the only places you hear about roaches are in like the projects, or a really nasty, filthy house. ants? even the cleanest homes here will have ants once in a while. maybe ants are the north’s cockroach?

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 2:34 pm

        haha, Well we have ants too. I guess there IS a redeeming factor about the North after all. (hahaha, just kidding, chill out) I’ve always said I would never move up there, but I’m taking the afternoon off and packing my bags if there are no roaches.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 2:37 pm

        haha, come on up!
        now watch, I’ll come home tonight and my place will be covered with roaches. haha. well, not haha.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 2:37 pm

        But there are stink bugs up North!!

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 2:40 pm

        Oh really? Like a lot of them? My old apartment had a stink bug problem as well as a later roach problem (neighbors must have brought them in). I’m used to stink bugs. They’re not nearly as terrifying, but they are annoying.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 2:51 pm

        My parents house, which is conveniently located pretty much in a corn field had SO SO many of them the first year. It’s thinned out now but we used to have a major problem with them

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      • avatar

        rachel August 14, 2013, 2:52 pm

        Ugh. Yeah, I guess when any bug problem gets to be like, a ton of them, it’s gross.

        I had a problem with pantry moths in my place in Oklahoma, and it was awful.

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      • avatar

        rachel August 14, 2013, 2:45 pm

        Hm, see stink bugs I see as an annoyance, whereas cockroaches/centipedes/giant spiders are more…let’s go with terrifying.

        Though I’ve got a friend who’s a bit phobic about ants, so I guess it’s all about persective.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 2:49 pm

        Completely agreed.

        Also I have an infestation of brown widows outside all of my windows right now. They’ve been there all summer, but I can’t have pest control come because they’ll see how many cats we have. We’re moving in a week and a half anyway at this point, but I’ve been so scared that one would get inside all summer.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 2:48 pm

        I never see those either! Maybe I just need glasses.

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    • avatar

      bethany August 14, 2013, 2:08 pm

      You’re not alone. I found one in the closet in my bedroom!!! WTF?!?

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      • avatar

        rachel August 14, 2013, 2:09 pm

        I would seriously freak out.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 2:15 pm

        That’s abnormal in that area! We found one in the bedroom closet a while back. We made pest control come in and spray in the closet and they found a hole in the wall by the water heater, which was probably where it came from.

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    • Classic

      Classic August 14, 2013, 2:16 pm

      I think that spiders can hear my thoughts. And those giant cockroaches that are euphemistically called “waterbugs” can do it, too. I can fool all of the other bugs though, I think.

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    • Imsostartled

      Imsostartled August 14, 2013, 2:20 pm

      There was a dead one in my lab at work, and I totally flipped. I have no idea why but I almost faint whenever I see a cockroach. Ugh, I’m freaking out just thinking about them…

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    • Copa

      Copa August 14, 2013, 2:27 pm

      Oh no! I honestly don’t remember the last time I saw a roach (thank goodness). But, if it’s any consolation, I live in the midwest and we get house centipedes (Google that if you don’t know what I’m talking about, guys). They scare the shit outta me every single time I see one. They tend to come out when it’s humid (so, spring/summer), and they’re fast so if you don’t have anything to kill ’em with on hand, it may not be there anymore by the time you find a newspaper/magazine/shoe/bug spray.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 2:32 pm

        Oh my god! Last summer I had to abandon my apartment and live with my friend and her parents because I found a roach in my apartment (see!!!! This is what happens!), and I got kicked out of the guest bed when her brother stayed the night. A house centipede crawled across my leg on the air mattress, so I screamed bloody murder and woke up my friend who also started screaming. She assumed someone was peeping in the window and tried to grab her gun to shoot but thankfully she didn’t make it that far. Her grandma came in and wanted to kill me, and I woke up the whole neighborhood. Yeah, house centipedes are awesome.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 2:39 pm

        I thought it was a demon, and I made my friend hunt it down and kill it for me at like 2:30 am on a week night. They are devils.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 2:41 pm

        Sounds almost as terrifying as the 3.5 inch spider that was trying to kill me in my apartment 🙂

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 2:45 pm

        Oh, spiders. I keep meaning to post a pic to Instagram— but the house my boyfriend has been catsitting at, it’s like a obstacle course of spidewebs to get to the door at night. Those GIANT orb spiders that come out during this time of year? There’s like 5 of them. In their perfect GIANT webs. AHH (& yeah, we leave them there because intellectually, I know spiders are good & keep away the other bugs, but they are scary as fuck)

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 2:45 pm

        what is an orb spider?

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 2:52 pm

        I think they’re just those fat spiders who make those webs on your porch (at least where I live) in August? Like, if you were to draw a spiderweb right now, that’s the kind of web these spiders make.

        Also, according to Google: “The typical orb-weaver spiders are the most common group of builders of spiral wheel-shaped webs often found in gardens, fields and forests.”

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      • avatar

        rachel August 14, 2013, 2:40 pm

        Having a centipede ON ME is probably my worst nightmare.

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      • Copa

        Copa August 14, 2013, 2:40 pm

        That’s so scary!!! Was it a big one? The small ones are bad enough but they can get (or at least appear) HUGE because of their legs. I saw one crawling on my bed a couple months ago and was sooo creeped out. (Luckily, it was a tiny one.) For some reason, I always seem to spot them right before bed, and they’re usually on the wall right NEAR my bed. So. Gross.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 2:43 pm

        I’ve only ever seen the one, so I have no idea if it was big or not. Like two inches long with those giant horribly evil legs on the side. Is that big?

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      • Copa

        Copa August 14, 2013, 2:50 pm

        I think that’s medium sized. I think the biggest I’ve seen is maybe 4 inches. The small ones can be teeny tiny, and I prefer them because (like I said below) I hate killing something so leggy.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 2:42 pm

        I haaaate those fucking things. I saw a baby one the other day (they’re almost worse, right?) & my cat was playing with it (like, repeatedly re-routing its path for her own amusement) so I figured eventually she’d go in for the kill— but then it crawled into some invisible crack under the wall, never to be seen again 🙁 UGH

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      • Copa

        Copa August 14, 2013, 2:48 pm

        Pest control is my favorite part about kitties! 🙂 But I try not to let my cat play with the centipedes because apparently they sting & are poisonous. I’m sure she’d be fine, but I’ve seen her eat a centipede (so. gross.) and do worry just a little about it.

        Also, cleaning them up once you’ve killed them is ALSO disgusting because long, severed centipede legs are gross. I exclusviely kill them with bug spray and then vacuum them up because I hate smooshing something so leggy & gross.

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      • avatar

        rachel August 14, 2013, 2:49 pm

        I am mentally gagging right now. Thanks for that.

        I killed a little millipede in my house the other day. I don’t think millipedes are that gross…but I really hate that I have to put in effort, and like..crunch them. *shudder*

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      • theattack

        theattack August 14, 2013, 2:52 pm

        Oh god… Can I just thread jack one more time and tell one more story? Three apartments ago I lived on the ground floor, and we ended up with a millipede infestation from the rock bed landscape. I was so embarrassed because it started when my now-husband was visiting me for the first time so I was trying to impress him. We killed 400 of them that first weekend and thousands over the course of the summer. THOUSANDS.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 2:50 pm

        holy fuck, seriously?? I thought they were harmless 🙁 (I try to be conscientious about these things, like I don’t let them play with spiders or ants)

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      • Copa

        Copa August 14, 2013, 3:02 pm

        Yep! I’ve heard it’s comparable to a bee sting in humans. I don’t think it could seriously harm a cat, but I try to stop my cat before she eats bugs anyway. I think it’s cute when she stalks them for ages on end, but… I try to be a careful cat mom!

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray August 14, 2013, 2:37 pm

    ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION. I feel like I haven’t been present much this week or last, so I just want to say: (a) work is so busy, (b) i have been going out too much lately and effective TODAY my goal is to never eat or drink again, and (c) don’t forget me ok? b/c i have a lot of busy days ahead.

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    • avatar

      rachel August 14, 2013, 2:41 pm

      We will never forget about you! How is your exciting dating life going? Are you feeling generally better about the world now that you are eating cheese again?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray August 14, 2013, 2:42 pm

        oh thank god for rachel, my favorite commenter

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray August 14, 2013, 2:41 pm

      Hello? I feel so invisible. Is there a movement to not give me attention immediately when I demand it? Because I do not like that movement. I do not, I do not.

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle August 14, 2013, 2:42 pm

      I noticed your absence, AP. We miss you!!

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 2:53 pm

    Can we talk about anything other than bugs? How about sunglass recommendations, since someone punk teenager is probably getting head right now because he gave his girlfriend my nice ones as a gift?

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    • avatar

      rachel August 14, 2013, 2:54 pm

      My prescription sunglasses are like 4 years old and probably out of fashion, so…I’m curious to see what other people have to say.

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    • Copa

      Copa August 14, 2013, 2:57 pm

      Hmm. I have no sunglass recommendations because I used to buy (and break or lose) designer pairs. Whoops! I got the pair I’m using right now at Francesca’s & have gotten a lot of compliments on them, even though I think they’re ugly. (I bought them right after I had my pupils dilated a few months back & basically picked ANYTHING off rack knowing it’d be inexpensive.)

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle August 14, 2013, 2:58 pm

      The last pair I got was $5 at Marshalls, &…checking the brand… apparently from American Eagle Outfitters?

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 2:58 pm

      Raybans!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:01 pm

        Yea, really? Not too trendy? I tried on a pair once, and Lil said I was trying too hard.

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      • avatar

        rachel August 14, 2013, 3:04 pm

        Oh man, my prescription sunglasses ARE raybans. Maybe I’m cooler than I thought.

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      • avatar

        rachel August 14, 2013, 3:24 pm

        Also, my actual glasses are Versace. It’s the only thing “designer” I’ve ever owned, haha.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:01 pm

      Ok, I’ll give myself advice…
      If you go to sunglass hut, they are surprisingly knowledgeable about what looks good on your oddly shaped head. I took my sister there recently to buy her a pair, but she has a very small head, whereas I have a very large head (like the mailman), and he found her a perfect pair that made her head look normal. Actually, when I texted my sister to tell her about the armed robbery (lets make it more dramatic than it is, hey, he might have been armed!), she offered to mail me the sunglasses I bought her. Isn’t she sweet? Too bad she’s got such a small head.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:33 pm

      WOOO, good news! Someone just reminded me that I probably have insurance coverage for the stuff that was stolen (now totaling over $400 worth of stuff!). Maybe I will get a check from ins.

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      • Copa

        Copa August 14, 2013, 3:48 pm

        YAY!

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle August 14, 2013, 3:02 pm

      Okay, here’s an actual recommendation:

      (Or maybe not “actual”, because they’re almost $300 :-|But I’ve always loved these!)

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 3:02 pm

        And look at how many colors they come in!!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:04 pm

        Too funky for me. I like BIG though.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 3:07 pm

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:11 pm

        Ooooh, I like them in tortoise shell! Thanks.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:11 pm

        They actually look really similar to my stolen ones.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 3:16 pm

        Those are really similar to the one’s GGuy bought me 5 years ago and I still wear/have them. They held up really well.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 3:13 pm

        I forgot Ray Bans could look like that, I always think of my boyfriend’s aviators. haha

        LBH, if you want another sad sunglasses story, someone at work apparently broke my bf’s Ray Bans. He saw them do it (they like, slid their backpack off a shelf without looking, taking the glasses down with them) & was like, “Gahh! AHH!” and apparently, the guy just looked at them—big scratch on the lens—& was like, “hm.” And didn’t say sorry?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:15 pm

        Jerks.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 3:09 pm

        Me too!

        or

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:12 pm

        Oh crap. I like ALL of those.

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle August 14, 2013, 3:21 pm

    Okay since there’s more important shit going on in the forums & this is already a mishmosh… does anyone want to help me figure out what I’m wearing to my boyfriend’s work party tonight? He’s a lifeguard for the summer, & the party is at his (parents’) house. So, a bunch of super hot 20-year-olds will be in attendance, & I don’t want to feel like I’m competing with them, if that makes sense? In attempting to make sure I’m not dressed similarly as the younguns, I bought a maxi skirt & shirt that I can tie up, wear backwards, style different ways (it’s a regular shirt, but longer in the back than in the front). Should I go with that? Or should I be more casual & wear, like, denim shorts (basically saying fuck it to my neurotic ideas about “dressing my age”, whatever that means)? I’m 26, if that helps

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    • katie

      katie August 14, 2013, 3:24 pm

      haha, do you honestly think you will be dressing against your age if you wear shorts? come on, that is crazy talk.

      wear whatever you want!

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:32 pm

      I try to “dress my age” really just for Lil, but my 24 y.o sister had a BBQ last weekend and I tried to dress their age and Peter & Lil made fun of me so hard.

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    • theattack

      theattack August 14, 2013, 3:35 pm

      Dude…. at 26 you can still wear whatever the hell you want.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 3:41 pm

        ahh maybe I am overthinking, haha. To give some background, my boyfriend worked at this same place years ago, before we dated, & I used to attend back then (at age 22-ish?) So I guess I’m feeling a bit weirded out at the time passage or some shit?

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 3:42 pm

        I also have issues dressing “casually”—does anyone else? Like if an event is a bit too casual for a dress, it takes me 10 times longer coming up with something appropriate

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 3:44 pm

        You can wear a dress to almost anything! It just depends on the dress and event combo.

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      • Copa

        Copa August 14, 2013, 3:48 pm

        I wear dresses to casual stuff (like my job) all the time! It really depends on the dress and how you accessorize it.

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 3:41 pm

      I think your maxi skirt and shirt sounds cute. Do you have any fun accessories you can throw on? Like a statement necklace?

      FTR I get what you mean about denim shorts and about wanting to dress in a way that distinguishes yourself from the 18-22 crowd.

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      • Copa

        Copa August 14, 2013, 3:46 pm

        I’ve stopped wearing denim shorts because I get mistaken enough for 18-22 as it is. I think I really need to up my wardrobe because it’s gotten to the point that it’s awkward when someone asks me what year I am in school, and I’m like, “Umm, I work full-time. I graduated from college 5 years ago and from grad school 2 years ago…”

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 3:48 pm

        Okay, I thought maybe I was crazy. haha. I do think mayyybe I’m being neurotic about it, but something about being possibly dressed similarly is making me uncomfortable

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 3:55 pm

        Nope, you’re not crazy. The 18 to 22 crowd in our town dresses in the “Miami Beach” style as I like to call it. Booty shorts and tube/tank tops. Lots of neon. I specifically avoid things that are similar to that style so that I don’t get confused with an undergrad (and therefore treated like shit in this town). (Also I don’t like my ass hanging out.)

        I think it’s totally normal to fret about what your outfit says about you to a group of new (or newish) people.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 14, 2013, 4:00 pm

        Ah yes, that’s exactly what I’m picturing…the crowd in my area that’s around that age dresses the same way.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 14, 2013, 4:02 pm

        I think the maxi skirt is the way to go. Still younger but not THAT young.

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    • Paki

      Paki August 14, 2013, 4:12 pm

      Wear you want! I am hitting the bit 4-0 this year and still working on dressing my age. You don’t need to worry about it yet!

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest August 14, 2013, 3:59 pm

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  • bittergaymark

    Bittergaymark August 14, 2013, 4:18 pm

    Damn. I can’t believe how freaked out some get over bugs…

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    • Miss MJ

      Miss MJ August 14, 2013, 4:27 pm

      Ha! Have you seen New Orleans cockroaches? They’re GIANT. They fly. They make this disgusting buzzing noise when they move through the air. They’re nasty. And terrifying. And, you can’t even squish them because of the mess it causes. AND, they’re impossible to avoid entirely, no matter how much you clean because it’s New Orleans and roaches just sometimes happen. Ugh! I hate, hate, hate, hate them!!

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  • paperheart

    paperheart August 14, 2013, 5:10 pm

    Well since this has become a free-for-all, I guess I’ll post this here. B went out of town a few weeks ago for work, and while they were there he helped his boss’s son move. That’s not his job, it was just something he was helping with. Anyway, this was the first and only time he’s ever met the boss’s son (who is roughly our age) and yesterday we got a save the date for the boss’s son’s wedding! What? B says maybe it’s just a “thanks for helping me move” thing. But really, an invitation to your wedding? Do people really invite people they’ve only met once to their wedding? I mean, this isn’t a big deal or anything. We’re not planning on going and it’s no big deal to say no. But I just thought it was really weird thing for them to do. haha

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    • theattack

      theattack August 14, 2013, 5:12 pm

      We have an invitation to P’s boss’s daughter’s wedding, and P has only ever met her once or twice. It’s probably not so much that the son is inviting you guys but that his dad (B’s boss) is inviting him. Are other coworkers invited too?

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      • paperheart

        paperheart August 14, 2013, 5:28 pm

        One other coworker is invited, but the rest of them aren’t. I think it would be less weird to me if they were all invited. haha

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    • bittergaymark

      Bittergaymark August 14, 2013, 5:31 pm

      Um, I’d go. It’s called networking! How do so few today grasp even the most obvious of professional opportunities?

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    • katie

      katie August 14, 2013, 6:12 pm

      eh, its not really that weird. this is like old-school wedding stuff, where weddings are for the parents of the bride and groom to invite all their friends/associates to a big party where they get to see how nice their family is. and in general, inviting coworkers to weddings is just a thing.

      his boss must see something special in him, be a tiny bit closer to him in some way, or just feel the need to include him in this for whatever reason. like BGM, i would absolutely see this as a positive and go schmooze as much as you can. buy a nice outfit, look the part, and help him with it. its a wonderful networking opportunity, and really kind of a special one almost, because he is one of a few who got in the invite.

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      • paperheart

        paperheart August 14, 2013, 10:35 pm

        Huh, maybe you and BGM are right, I guess I didn’t think about it like that, and neither did B. When he told me about the invite, he said that he didn’t want to go but it was nice that they invited us anyway. But maybe if I tell him what y’all are saying he’ll see it that way too. I don’t have a problem with going if he wants to, he just approached the whole thing like it was a given that we weren’t going.

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      • paperheart

        paperheart August 14, 2013, 10:39 pm

        Also, yes the boss does seem to be a little closer to B than some of the other coworkers, even though (or maybe BECAUSE) B is the newest employee. But that’s just going on what B tells me about his workdays.

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      • bittergaymark

        Bittergaymark August 15, 2013, 8:39 pm

        By all means GO to the wedding. You’d be fools not to attend.

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      • katie

        katie August 15, 2013, 8:50 am

        honestly, i take ANY “alone” or one on one or special time that i get with my boss (or boss’s boss or boss’s boss’s boss or whatever) as a super positive thing. forming relationships are at the core of becoming successful at any career. its not what you know, its who you know. hell, i wouldnt have gotten my job (i am severely under-qualified on paper) if it wasnt for networking and forming relationships

        and ill be honest, even if he was an established employee with a great relationship with the person inviting him to a wedding, i would still go. its like a social thing you have to do as a part of being associates. i dragged jake to one of my co-workers weddings and he was all mad about it, but i told him that this is what was expected of him, and vis versa for me too, and that you gotta do it!

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      GatorGirl August 15, 2013, 8:06 am

      It’s not that weird. I invited my boss’s son and daughter to our wedding. Both came and we all had a great time. If it’s convenient for you to go, I would say go and have fun. If it’s not send a timely RSVP in and a nice card (and gift if you can afford it).

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  • Regina Chapman

    Regina Chapman August 15, 2013, 8:07 am

    Hey guys, all cockroaches, sunglasses and fashion advice aside:) : THANKS once again for that awesome help you guys gave me with my research. Ever since I posted I’ve been totally on a roll, writing up to 1500 words/day and just generally living inside the story (which is a good thing, except not so much for my boyfriend and/or social life).

    For those interested, here’s the first paragraph as a Super Mega Bonus TM which you were totally waiting for!! Eh:

    “Los Angeles was sunlight, pounding on concrete, carving man-made shapes out of the hills. Nora sat on the shadowed terrace in front of her Beverly Hills beauty spa and watched the pedestrians come and go from the organic food market across the square. The young girls with their perfectly groomed feet in flip-flops, tanned skins glowing, bodies an immaculate invitation – she felt dark by contrast, problem-riddled. Old. Hidden in shadows while she watched life go by her, sipping Pellegrino through a straw. You’re being ridiculous, she thought, you’re only twenty-nine, but of course twenty-nine was the gateway to thirty and thirty the gateway to a life on the other side, a life that could no longer be sustained by her current identity of young and beautiful, and she had no idea how she was going to live that life.”

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    • bittergaymark

      Bittergaymark August 15, 2013, 8:58 pm

      Nitpicky note. I’d use plaza over square… Everything out here is a plaza. 😉

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