My fiance and I are moving to South Carolina in a about a month because I was recently offered a new job. My fiance has been searching for a job as well and has found a few prospects, but none of them come with health insurance. We’re contemplating marrying in front of just immediate family before we move, so that he can be on my insurance, and then having a celebration of our marriage either later this year or early next year where we invite the rest of our families and our friends. My question is: how do you go about telling people that you’re going to do this? Do I wait until afterward to tell people, do I tell people before, do I tell everyone via a phone call, do I send out an announcement? I want to make sure that everyone knows how much we want to celebrate with them but that we were unable to have a wedding with everyone we wanted to be there on such short notice.
I have told my two best friends, one of whom is very pregnant and out of state and can’t come, and the other, who will be in attendance, suggested that I videotape the first wedding and show that at the celebration along with a slideshow and send a photo of us on our wedding day to friends and family with a small letter explaining what we did, etc. I want people to know that we love them and want to share in this next step of our lives with them but had to make tough decisions based on what was best for us. — Fast-track Bride
First of all, congratulations on your new job, your move, and your upcoming marriage! What an exciting time in your life. And because your decision to marry early for insurance purposes, let alone marry at all, is a personal one, however you choose to share the news is totally up to you. No one has to know the reason you decided to marry early, but if you feel more comfortable sharing that piece of information, go for it. There’s no right or wrong way to go about sharing your news, as long as you let the people you love know how much their support means to you and that you look forward to celebrating your marriage with them at a later date.
I love the idea of taking a photo of your first wedding day and sending it as an announcement (you could even make it a postcard announcement) to your friends and loved ones saying something along the lines of: “We wanted to start our new life together in South Carolina as husband and wife, so on [date of wedding] we made it official! We are incredibly happy and excited about this new chapter, but won’t feel it’s completely started until we’re able to celebrate our marriage with the people whose love and support mean so much to us. We’d be thrilled if you joined us at a formal gathering later this year, and look forward to sharing more photos of our special day with your then. We’ll share more details about that event soon.”
Don’t be surprised if people want to send you cards and gifts right away, so be sure to include your new address in your announcement, and start a wedding registry if you haven’t already. I would not include wedding registry info in your announcement, but it’s good to have one started if someone specifically asks for it. Make sure your mother or other close relative or friend knows that particular information to pass along to anyone who might ask. And, again, congrats and best wishes.