Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

What Your Sleep Position Says About your Love Life

If you sleep with a partner — like, sleep-sleep, I mean, in bed, with your eyes closed — do you spoon each other? Face one another without touching? Sleep with your backs to each other? In another one of those super scientific studies — this one conducted by Travelodge, of all things — researchers pinpointed exactly what different sleep positions say about people’s love lives. Keep reading to see where you and your partner stacked (and singletons, you aren’t safe from this study either…).

THE MOST POPULAR SLEEPING POSITIONS AND WHAT THEY MEAN
1. LIBERTY: Back to back but not touching (28%)
This couple feel connected whilst independent enough to sleep separately. They are used to each other and accept each other’s sleeping habits.
2. CHERISH: Back to back but touching (18%)
This couple are comfortable, intimate and relaxed with each other. A popular position in a new relationship.
3. SPOONS (MALE): Male spoons with the female on the inside (13%)
This is a traditional position, in which the male takes the lead and protects his lover. Couples sleep side-by-side each curled up with each other in the foetal position. Traditional spooning is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship or marriage. It shows both a strong sexuality and feeling of security in the relationship
4. PILLOW TALK: Face to face (7%)
This position represents an intimate need for one-to-one contact and conversation in bed.
5. LOVERS KNOT: Face to face, legs intertwined for 10 minutes then couples separate to sleep (8%)
This position demonstrates a loving independence, it’s a sign of intimacy, love and sexual activity – even though the couple separate and sleep apart.
6. SPOONS (FEMALE): Spoons with the female on the outside (5%)
In this position the female takes the lead and protects her man while he is sleeping.
7. THE LOVERS: Face to face with legs intertwined all night (4%)
This is love’s young dream position where you cannot bear to be separated as each moment together counts. A position for the born romantics.
8. THE ROMANTIC: Woman lying with head and arm on man’s chest (1%)
This is the popular Hollywood movie bed scene position. An intimate pose much favoured in a new relationship or after love making. It represents new / rekindled love.
9. SUPERWOMAN: Woman lying in star fish position with man hanging off the bed (1%)
The woman rules the bed in this position, she likes her space and the man takes a secondary role and lets her take it.
10. SUPERMAN: Man lying in star fish position with woman hanging off the bed (1%)
In this position the male is king of the bed, he likes to have his way and the female is happy to oblige.

Is anyone else bothered by the phrases “starfish position” and “hanging off the bed”? People, if you are literally hanging off the bed while your partner is hogging the whole thing, I hope you don’t need Travelodge to tell you you have problems in paradise.

Single friends, here’s how “research” says your sleep patterns reflect your love lives:

AND WHAT ABOUT THOSE THAT SLEEP ALONE?
Symbolically curled positions in sleep mean ‘I want to trust others and feel safe’.
Bodies stretched out in sleep mean ‘I want to take charge and experience adventure’.
Hands curled inwards mean “I want to cuddle and connect’.
Hands wrapped around a pillow can indicate a cuddly nature. If hands and/or arms are held, or pressed tightly, or straight down at the sides it means ‘I want to be alone’.
Sleeping on your stomach temporarily typically shows you are anxious or feel things are out of control and need to protect the vulnerable front of your body.
An individual who always sleeps on his/her stomach but with arms bent and hands up around the head in a crown position is showing she/he is persistent, goal oriented, compulsive and stubborn.

Remember, this is all super scientific. Travelodge would not lie!

[via Daily Mail]

60 comments… add one
  • avatar

    artsygirl October 16, 2012, 1:11 pm

    Anyone else notice that in the Superwoman position the man ‘has to take it’ that the woman is dominate while in the Superman, the woman is happy to give up her half of the bed. Double standards much?

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray October 16, 2012, 1:27 pm

      Good observation. This scientific study blows chunks.

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    • avatar

      Schwinny October 16, 2012, 2:24 pm

      Double standards indeed. Welcome to the joy that is the Daily Mail. 🙂

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    • avatar

      j.walker October 16, 2012, 6:15 pm

      It says “let’s her take it” not “has to take it,” unless it has been changed since your comment…

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    • avatar

      Riefer October 16, 2012, 6:16 pm

      That’s the sole reason I came to the comments section. Let’s all reinforce gender roles!

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  • avatar

    bethany October 16, 2012, 1:19 pm

    I wonder what spooning your cat with your back to your husband means??

    God, I’m pathetic.

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh October 16, 2012, 1:27 pm

      that’s ok one of my dogs spoons me and the other does the romantic on my husband, haha. we’re just as pathetic 😉

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      • avatar

        bethany October 16, 2012, 1:33 pm

        My cat “Romantics” me sometimes, too… It’s the best!

        Typically I’m all over the place when I sleep. I think I have that restless leg syndrome thing, so I’m moving, kicking and turning all night long. 🙁

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray October 16, 2012, 1:58 pm

        I’ve never seen a cat penis. Are we sure cats have penises? Are they furry? Do they look like dogs’ lipsticks? (That’s what I used to call my dog’s penis when I was a kid – “oh no, mom, toto’s red lipstick is coming out and it’s scaring me!)

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      • JK

        JK October 16, 2012, 2:01 pm

        Apparently they have like spikes or something, that hook in the inside of the female cat´s vagina, to ensure the sex finishes. I´m glad I´m not a female cat.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray October 16, 2012, 2:04 pm

        So they’re designed to be rapists…. Reason 183 why cats suck.

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      • avatar

        bethany October 16, 2012, 2:09 pm

        I have seen one, actually. They’re normally inside them, so you typically can’t see it. One of my cats has a lot of tushy issues that occasionally require me applying ointment to his area, and it popped out once when I was doing that! It was weird.

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      • avatar

        Riefer October 16, 2012, 6:18 pm

        Yeah, they’re like dog lipstick, except way smaller. Just a little red tube. My cat’s comes out sometimes when he’s cleaning down there, it’s gross.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 16, 2012, 2:17 pm

        Oh, good, Bethany. I was beginnig to think I was the only one that thrashes wildly in her sleep. I’d say when I have a partner, we do all of these positions except for the spread-out bed-hogging ones.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 16, 2012, 2:36 pm

        there’s no moving in my bed, unless it’s movement that involves rubbing one of the dogs. if you do move and cause one of them to move because of it you get all kinds of moaning and the evil eye. if you sleep with them you best pick your position wisely, haha 😉

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      • avatar

        artsygirl October 16, 2012, 3:39 pm

        I actually have a cure for restless leg syndrome. My grandmother suffers from it and she swears putting a bar of soap (she uses Ivory) under the sheets where you legs will be and then going to bed. No one can explain why it works, but apparently it does.

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      • avatar

        Rachel October 16, 2012, 4:00 pm

        I move a lot in my sleep too. My boyfriend complains of abuse when we sleep in too small of a bed.

        I’ve heard that quinine is good for restless leg syndrome. It’s in tonic water usually, so an excuse to drink more gin & tonics.

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    • avatar

      Caris October 16, 2012, 1:29 pm

      lol

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    • avatar

      MissDre October 16, 2012, 1:32 pm

      I’m the same way! Back to my bf, spooning my kitty!

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary October 16, 2012, 1:48 pm

      Yup, we are a Liberty with a dog in the middle. Which says we are super secure about being apart and separated by an animal?

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray October 16, 2012, 1:32 pm

    I can’t figure out a good position to sleep in with my new lover. When I sleep on my back I snore (allegedly) and when I sleep on my stomach I fart atomic bombs (allegedly)… That my new lover still wants to make whoopee *and* sleep with me all night long means I need to hold on to this one and never ever let him go.

    (Sorry if this was TMI but for fuck sake we are all best friends by now, right?!

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    • avatar

      ktfran October 16, 2012, 1:47 pm

      I personally prefer no. five – lover’s knot (i effing dislike that name) with someone I enjoy having sex with. All I need is ten minutes of intertwined closeness then the rest of the night can be spent in comfort, with backs facing one another.

      Try it. It’s comforting, but also let’s you get a good night sleep. Then, back at it in the morning.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray October 16, 2012, 1:49 pm

        If I sleep with my back to him, my (alleged) powerful farts might catapult him from the bed. Maybe I’m fixating on the wrong issue. Instead of worrying about my sleep position, I should stop eating so fucking much right before bed.

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      • avatar

        ktfran October 16, 2012, 1:51 pm

        Wow. I just busted out laughing. Awesome visual. Well, not really. Kind of gross.

        He needs to sleep with his back to you too. And with a gas mask apparently.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray October 16, 2012, 1:55 pm

        If we both wake up on the floor then I’ll know it is because we farted each other off the bed at the same time. Aw, that’s true love – a match made in heaven!

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      • avatar

        ktfran October 16, 2012, 1:59 pm

        Good thing nobody joined my conference call while I read this.

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      • SarahKat

        SarahKat October 16, 2012, 2:03 pm

        I just spit up oatmeal at my desk…I didn’t even know you could spit up oatmeal.

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  • SarahKat

    SarahKat October 16, 2012, 1:42 pm

    Here’s a couple personal ones from my boyfriend and I:

    The Burrito Platter: One partner slowly but surely wraps themselves in the comforter, while the other sleeps blanketless, unawares until very late in the night and unsuccessfully tries to yank back said blanket from its unyielding hold, eventually giving up, and wrapping themselves in a tiny corner left over from the burrito.

    This is the ideal position for lovers! Especially lovers who have strong upper body strength that can wrestle a blanket from underneath their limp lover’s body!

    The Pink Flamingo: One partner sleeps on their back with one legged crossed in the air and the other shoves him until he switches position because it freaks her out that said partner can do that and still sleep.

    This is the ideal position for lovers! Especially lovers that can’t sleep with such questions on their mind such as “Seriously, how can he sleep like that? He doesn’t even sit like that when he’s awake”.

    The HOLY SH*T IS SHE POSSESSED: One partner, who moves and talks in her sleep, wakes the other by holding his face with one hand while saying nonsensical words like “Please don’t do that rockinghorse” and “Don’t be sad mister shhhhhh”, all with her eyes wide open.

    This is the ideal position for lovers! Especially lovers that don’t mind that one is a vessel for the anti-christ when she sleeps.

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    • avatar

      applescruffs October 16, 2012, 1:49 pm

      Thank you so much for that.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray October 16, 2012, 1:50 pm

      Seriously, how did we manage for so long while you were gone?

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    • avatar

      Rachel October 16, 2012, 1:51 pm

      Hahahaha. You are awesome

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    • JK

      JK October 16, 2012, 2:03 pm

      Ugh I HATE the burrito Platter.Especially in winter. I get cold. Stupid Arturo.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson October 16, 2012, 2:07 pm

      I don’t even remember what I used to laugh about before you came back.

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    • avatar

      Eagle Eye October 16, 2012, 2:16 pm

      I Died! Also – Burrito for the win!

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    • avatar

      SweetPeaG October 16, 2012, 3:23 pm

      I always wake my fiance up when he burritos me so that he can’t deny it. He always tells me I burrito him, but you can’t claim that shit in the middle of the day. Where’s the proof?! It must be pointed out in mid-burrito. However, when I woke him for such accusations, he told me I framed him. Like, I woke up and rolled him in all the blankets. How would I even manage that without waking him?

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    • bagge72

      bagge72 October 16, 2012, 2:34 pm

      Ugh I get burrito’d all of the time in the winter! It sucks!

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    • avatar

      artsygirl October 16, 2012, 3:44 pm

      I just had to close my office door because I was snort/giggling, my co-works probably think I am insane now. Of course we are all art historians so we are all likely looney banana in a coconut tree.

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      • avatar

        artsygirl October 16, 2012, 3:49 pm

        that meant to say “looney as a banana in a coconut tree”

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    • avatar

      vizslalvr October 16, 2012, 4:38 pm

      Hahaha my husband always says my sleeping position is The Burrito!

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster October 16, 2012, 4:55 pm

      Excellent! I’d posit that you probably wouldn’t be possessed if you weren’t watching so much IT as a child.

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    • avatar

      Caris October 17, 2012, 1:18 am

      between you and AP you made me cry (of laughter)

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  • theattack

    theattack October 16, 2012, 1:58 pm

    I slap and punch my fiance in my sleep sometimes when I’m having nightmares about roaches, which is about once a week.

    I also accidentally punched him in the face during sex once. Men have to be brave to get with me.

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    • avatar

      lemongrass October 16, 2012, 2:44 pm

      Once my husband turned to face me in his sleep. Bad mistake, I hate being breathed on. Anyways, apparently I didn’t like it so much that I gave him an open-handed shove to the face. He wasn’t even mad, he thought it was hilarious. I have no recollection.

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      • avatar

        SweetPeaG October 16, 2012, 3:27 pm

        I am the same way… I do not like people breathing on me! Ugh! I have a running joke with one of my best friends. We went on a 2 week road trip together a while back. We stopped at a few hotels where we only had one bed. More times than not, I’d move to the floor so she wouldn’t breathe in my face. She thought it was hysterical.

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      • katie

        katie October 16, 2012, 4:15 pm

        i thought i was the only one who didnt like to be breathed on… ah i feel better. lol

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  • avatar

    ChemE October 16, 2012, 1:59 pm

    My husband and I do like 5 of these, 1-4 and 8, pretty much every night. Ok, not all of them every night, but from now on I think I might enforce it, can’t go having anyone else think we haven’t recently had sex or aren’t sooooooo in love 🙂
    9 and 10 are weird. If I was getting kicked off the bed, I’d be kicking him out of the bed.
    What does it say if I’m sleeping on my stomach and he’s snoring his ass off laying on his side – facing me – and we’ve both got cats on/under the blankets between/on us?

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  • avatar

    MsMisery October 16, 2012, 2:18 pm

    Why do all the singles’ sleeping positions relate to how they want to be sleeping/interacting with other people? We are single, therefore desperately sad and alone?? Pff.

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle October 16, 2012, 2:30 pm

    Yeahh, my S/O & I are all over the place– I think we do all of these. But most of the time we’ll face each other, entwined. And we’ll often switch sides with each other like 4 or 5 times throughout the night in order to remain cuddled. Sometimes we’ll spoon, but normally one of us will poke the other & go “switch?” & we’ll flip together (instead of just one person turning over). Sleep study, what does this mean??

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    • avatar

      Feline October 16, 2012, 9:33 pm

      My hubby and I are always holding on to each other, and we turn over in unison all the time. He’ll be spooning me, then turn over, and I automatically follow, or vice versa. We don’t have to even talk about it – it just happens. I think part of it was having our cat sleep with us for 17 years and just being aware of everything that happens in the bed (so you don’t accidentally brain your cat when you turn over).

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  • avatar

    Lindsay October 16, 2012, 2:38 pm

    My gentleman friend and I are all about the pillow talk, which is fitting because neither of us ever shuts up, and he generally drifts off to sleep in mid-sentence.

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  • landygirl

    landygirl October 16, 2012, 2:39 pm

    I often wake up with barely any bed and half the amount of comforter that I started with but I can’t blame my husband, it’s the dog who is the bed hog. He also hogs the couch.

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    • avatar

      Rachel October 16, 2012, 3:58 pm

      My dog’s the same way…and he’s little! I’m always amazed at how I’ll wake up almost falling off the bed, with him pressed up against me. I think he must shift me slowly throughout the night.

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  • bagge72

    bagge72 October 16, 2012, 2:15 pm

    Can people really sleep in the spooning position? I can hold her for a while, but I always start playing with her boobs, and I don’t think I would be comforatble enough sleeping that way the whole night, because I get way to hot! I can only imagine if she was farting too like Addie does with her handsome honey.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray October 16, 2012, 2:23 pm

      If we were to spoon I’d fart on my handsome honey boo boo’s junk … allegedly! (I’m still not convinced I fart in my sleep, except, fine, that one time I did and it was so loud I woke myself up — isn’t that funny when that happens? … No?)

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary October 16, 2012, 3:29 pm

        My boyfriend dutch ovens my poor dog all the time. Then she grumbles and comes up for air.

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      • bagge72

        bagge72 October 16, 2012, 2:32 pm

        It really is funny when that happens, and even funnier when you wake somebody else up too! Or they wake you up, but they don’t wake themselves up!

        So if you fart that bad on his junk is it eventually going to be come an innie?

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      • avatar

        lemongrass October 16, 2012, 2:47 pm

        It does not! I fart on my husband’s junk while we spoon all the time. We have a cuddle routine before sleeping and then not touching each other at all during the night.

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      • avatar

        artsygirl October 16, 2012, 3:46 pm

        My pit bull mix did that once – he then looked accusingly at my husband and I as if we had created the noise that woke him up

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      • avatar

        rangerchic October 16, 2012, 5:03 pm

        LOL! Our dog sometimes makes a whoosh sounding fart – it is very short and quick but really funny because it will wake him up and he will look at his back end all confused and then sniffs the air and then he gets up and goes to lay in a different location.

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  • Nookie

    Nookie October 17, 2012, 6:23 am

    From the start, the Cockney and I have had our cuddle time then turned our backs on each other. We’re set in our ways and like our sleep. But we both sleep on our stomachs with our arms akimbo around our heads and neither of us are what you could call ‘goal orientated’ so I declare this survey moot.

    Also I’ve learnt that wine + beer = singing sleeping Cockney. It’s pretty awesome.

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