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When’s the Best Time to Announce Your Relationship on Facebook?

I wasn’t on Facebook yet the last time I started a new relationship (almost five years ago with my now husband), so I never had to deal with deciding when to “come out” so to speak. I imagine the question adds one more layer of anxiety to budding relationships, so I’m curious when you announced your relationship, how you decided to come out, and what your general thoughts are on the topic are.

[polldaddy poll=”4695369″]

Comments on this entry are closed.

avatar Margblogger March 10, 2011, 3:06 pm

I’d really like to see the responses on this one since I’ve started dating a guy semi-exclusively. It never even occurred to me until now that some people might expect me to change my facebook status. Personally, I lean toward engaged or married, I get too tired of seeing immature friends “no longer listed in a relationship” to “is listed in a relationship” within 48 hours to the same person. Lots of unnecessary drama.

avatar MissDre March 10, 2011, 3:11 pm

I voted that Facebook is lame, just because I got tired of people oversharing (myself included) and I closed my account. But when I WAS on Facebook, I updated my relationship status the day after my boyfriend and I agreed that we were exclusive.

avatar MAC2011 March 10, 2011, 3:28 pm

People DEFINITELY overshare on FB. I hate those people who are in a relationship one day, not the next and 1 month later back On!!!!!

On a side note, my hub & I would joke around about changing our married status to engaged or it’s complicated and we hadn’t done that for a while so I posted it’s complicated and I got so many comments I quickly changed it back and felt like one of the people I described above. I was joking but no one was in on the joke…boo :o(

avatar sarolabelle March 10, 2011, 3:34 pm

you should only joke about that if it is April Fool’s Day.

avatar MAC2011 March 10, 2011, 3:43 pm

probably so

avatar TheGirl March 10, 2011, 4:14 pm

Facebook IS totally lame. I’m tired of people posting stupid things like “I’m having such and such for lunch right now” or “I just bought new shoes” and expecting that everyone they have ever met wants to read about it.

avatar MissDre March 10, 2011, 4:40 pm

Ugh! Those are the WORST!

avatar MajinMD March 10, 2011, 7:26 pm

@MissDre: I actually think the worst ones are the “fishing” ones! The “I can’t believe that just happened!!!!!” or “I’m so pissed right now” or, the worst offender, simply “;)” Ugh. Nothing screams “desperate for attention” more than the fishing posts.

avatar MissDre March 11, 2011, 8:17 am

Bah hahahaha! I used to do that when I was younger, and then get upset when nobody commented…. I’m definitely glad to be rid of Fb now!

avatar Woman of Words March 10, 2011, 10:37 pm

For that reason I am very selective with who I friend; I mostly use facebook for professional networking.

avatar Addie Pray March 10, 2011, 11:40 pm

I hate the “mom” updates the most. They go like this: “Got the kids to school, did cardio kick, cleaned the house, picked up the kids, now waiting for the hubbie to get home for dinner – busy day!” I hate it mostly because I’m jealous.

avatar MissDre March 11, 2011, 8:18 am

That’s what LinkedIn is for. Nothing personal goes on there at all. Just resumes, work experience, education, recommendations, etc.

avatar MissDre March 11, 2011, 8:19 am

Sorry that reply was for Woman of Words.

Addie Pray, I know what you mean. It’s annoying as hell to see the mom updates, but I’m sure I’d be just as guilty of it if I were in their shoes.

avatar plasticepoxy March 11, 2011, 11:43 am

My boyfriend and I did the same. With my previous boyfriend, I didn’t have a relationship status at all, even though we were together for years. I was excited to update my status with this boyfriend, I feel like I’m bragging. ๐Ÿ™‚

avatar maynard March 11, 2011, 12:16 pm

Same, MissDre. I didn’t *close* my account but just deleted the ap on my phone and just don’t go on there (because I will vomit if I see anything about my ex, mostly) but my ex and I put we were in a relationship when we had the “exclusive” talk, and then put we were engaged on there after we made calls to family and friends

avatar maynard March 11, 2011, 12:20 pm

oh and then he decided to put he was “single” on there without letting me know and let it show up on the alerts and stuff and one of his asshole friends “liked” the status change and an ex of his commented about how happy she was to hear it. ahh. Again, this was while we were still living together and having naked time and all of that. He did at least delete notifications about his relationship status after i called him crying from work when i noticed it. Nice guy

avatar belongsomewhere March 10, 2011, 3:14 pm

If you’ve had a conversation with your S.O. about your relationship status and you’re on the same page, and most of the important people in your life know, then you can change your status to “in a relationship,” I’d say. (This is even more true for getting engaged–if you haven’t already told your parents and closest family members and friends about it in person or on the phone, it seems inappropriately casual to make the big announcement on Facebook.)

I had been with my boyfriend for 2-3 months when we made it “Facebook official” (I don’t put any extra weight in things just because they’re on Facebook, so know I say that somewhat in jest). We had already established that we were exclusive, we had said “I love you,” and we had plans for him to meet my parents.

Betsy Betsy March 10, 2011, 3:56 pm

I did the same with current relationship, about 3 months in when all of our close friends and family knew. Also, I took down my “single” status after about a month, when I decided I was “off the market” because he’s somethin’ special. ๐Ÿ™‚

avatar sarolabelle March 10, 2011, 3:15 pm

My bf came over one night and asked me to be his girlfriend. And I brought up Facebook and said that it was up to him whether we would do that and he said sure. So at the same time the next morning when we were both logged in we changed it. We had be casually dating for two month at that point. I didn’t know his middle name.

avatar Rachel March 10, 2011, 3:20 pm

About one month in we were officially exclusive and I got rid of single. When we said “I love you”, about 3 months in, I changed my status to ‘in a relationship’. I figured I’d wait until I knew it was something real, so that I wouldn’t be one of those people who change their statuses too often.

avatar Jessica March 10, 2011, 3:35 pm

my boyfriend and i did it when we became exclusive. i never showed my relationship status when i was single… so from the beginning until we were exclusive (which only took.. like, a month) i had nothing! lol.

avatar Jessica March 10, 2011, 3:35 pm

oh, also, i didnt vote because that wasn’t an option ๐Ÿ™‚

avatar MissDre March 10, 2011, 3:41 pm

Same. I never had a relationship status before, and only changed it once we were exclusive.

avatar ReginaRey March 10, 2011, 4:02 pm

Ditto. I tend to just have no relationship status whatsoever unless I’m in a relationship. For the record, my bf and I changed our status when we had agreed that we were indeed in an exclusive relationship with each other. This is what most of my friends do, too.

avatar cdjd2614 March 10, 2011, 3:45 pm

I think it’s so much easier to leave the relationship field blank that way if you’re in a relationship you aren’t saying you’re single and if something happens you don’t have to worry about changing it back and getting all the “What happened?” comments that make you feel that much worse about everything that went down. As long as you, your SO and the people who mean the most to you know what does it matter if the general population knows cause is it really any of their business?

eelavocado eel avocado March 10, 2011, 6:03 pm

CDJD2614, this is exactly what I was going to write. After my ex of 2 years very suddenly broke up with me in 2008, he immediately took down his relationship status and put Single. I went from having “In a relationship with John Smith” on my page to just “In a relationship.” (Once I saw that, I changed mine to Single, too.) It’s lame, but seeing his status change was gut wrenching–especially because it came out of nowhere. It was like he broke up with me twice. Then the questions started. After the questions, I decided I was going to take down Single and leave my relationship status blank.

I’ve happily been dating my current boyfriend for about 2 years, and the relationship status question has actually never come up. I’m Facebook friends with his friends and he’s friends with mine. It’s probably pretty obvious that we’re dating (I do put the occasional silly profile picture of us), but the people who really need to know know our story.

I have talked with my girlfriends (who also leave their relationships blank) about what they would do if they get engaged or married. Nobody is sure if they’d change it or not. I think I have some time until that happens for me, so I’ll cross that bridge when it comes.

avatar SpaceySteph March 11, 2011, 1:23 am

I know how you feel about the double breakup, eel avocado.
When my ex of two years dumped me suddenly, however, he DIDNT change his status right away. And me, with my broken heart, kept checking and checking and checking my own profile which still said his name and wondering “what does it mean?” and “maybe he’s changed his mind!” He hadn’t, I think it was just so insignificant to him to even bother. He didn’t take it down until 2 weeks later when he started dating a new girl. And because I was hoping he had in fact changed his mind, I tortured myself by reading something into it. And when he went and changed it from me to her, it felt like I had been dumped all over again.

When my current boyfriend and I discussed exclusivity, he brought up the facebook thing. I was extremely opposed to it, because of what happened last time. But eventually I gave in and we are “in a relationship.” It mattered alot to him, and I didn’t want to hold him accountable for my ex’s bad behavior. But I think if I had my choice, it would still be to do nothing until engagement at the earliest.

avatar Woman of Words March 10, 2011, 10:43 pm


sumilove sumilove March 10, 2011, 10:46 pm

This is exactly what I was going to say! I’ve never had my relationship status on FB, and it’s never been an issue. But my profile tends to be quite sterile anyways because there are so many family members and colleagues who can see it…

avatar Tracey March 10, 2011, 3:45 pm

How about sharing a relationship status – on Facebook or anywhere else – once the two people involved agree what the status is? And do you really have to post your relationship status on Facebook? The people with whom you interact on a daily basis will know what your relationship is because they will see it on a daily basis. Just sayin’….

avatar HmC March 10, 2011, 3:54 pm

I went with “Facebook is lame” because I’m nauseated by over sharing on Facebook. HOWEVER I think there is something to be said for wanting to hold yourself out to the world as being a couple, and not being AFRAID to do that once the relationship has become exclusive. If you’re afraid of it then you’re probably not a very solid couple, but if you NEED to do it then you’re probably not my cup of tea.

avatar Emsz March 10, 2011, 3:56 pm

Never. Just leave it blank forever, as far as I’m concerned. That’s what I want to do anyway. Even though it makes it much easier for me to find out what’s going on in your life without me talking to you, is that really what you want?

avatar MissDre March 10, 2011, 4:03 pm

That’s why I got rid of Facebook… nobody ever talked to me anymore! Never got any emails, never got any phone calls… people don’t feel the need to talk to each other because they get to see the person’s whole life in a nutshell on Facebook. So I closed down my account… and guess what now my phone actually rings!

bagge72 bagge72 March 11, 2011, 10:40 am

I know, I hate it when people who have my email, and have always emailed me while I was at work decide to start sending me facebook messages instead(though I do find it easier to ignore a message for a couple of days if they send it on facebook)! What’s the point? or instead of getting an invite to dinner over the phone I get a message over facebook! I get you might not want to be stuck in a conversation for just a simple request, just text me instead!

avatar Uyzie March 10, 2011, 3:58 pm

In my relationship, we don’t share our relationship status on facebook, but we’re not against it. It’s just that neither one of us ever shared it when we were single, and it never really seemed that important. Our friends and family knew we were together, and our facebook settings are so private that pretty much anyone on there would have already known we were together long before they saw it online. But about one year in, one of our mutual friends told us “if it’s not on facebook, then it’s not official”! So we laughed and talked it over and agreed that if we ever posted it at all, we’d at least wait until we were engaged. Our reasoning, however questionable, was that if we’d made it to the point where we wanted to “seal the deal” in real life, it was worthy of putting it up there for everyone else to see too.

avatar ReginaRey March 10, 2011, 4:04 pm

Most of my social circle posts a relationship status once they have agreed that they are in fact in an exclusive, committed relationship with another person…doesn’t really matter if it’s been a couple weeks or a couple months!

And I agree with many of the commenters above – please, please, PLEASE do not be one of those immature people who cancel their relationship status out of anger with their SO, or who continuously “breakup” and “get back together” on facebook. I don’t want to see your little red heart bleeping on and off!

becboo84 BecBoo84 March 10, 2011, 4:04 pm

This is just a side story: About 6 years ago, when my now husband and I had just started dating, we were both pretty new to facebook. Anyway, about 6 months later, a friend of mine pointed out that we weren’t even “friends” with each other. Ha! I guess I didn’t have quite the obsession with it then that I do now ๐Ÿ™‚

But honestly, I think once you’re both on the same page about being exclusive, you can change your status. After all, it’s not really real until it’s fbo (facebook official). j/k

avatar MissDre March 10, 2011, 4:43 pm

My bf doesn’t even have facebook… does that mean we’ll never be official? LoL…

avatar Quakergirl March 10, 2011, 9:47 pm

Basically the same story here. Quakerboy and I have been dating for…5 1/2 years I suppose. When we started dating there wasn’t so much gamesmanship with Facebook– people were pretty much just honest and upfront about things. We put up our “in a relationship” status when we actually decided we were in a relationship. We were seniors in high school though and 17 years old, so it took all of about 3 days after the awkward deserted-hallway kiss (and no actual dates) for it to be “official.” Those were the days…

Curious, though, BecBoo, about whether or not you changed your status/posted that you and your husband were engaged or married. It just now occurred to me that, seeing as its already up there, we’re going to have to change ours at that point and there will be the inevitable 9th-grade homeroom classmates that find out about it through Facebook.

avatar Heather Girl March 10, 2011, 4:31 pm

In my world, if you are my actual friend then you know whether or not I am in a relationship. Anybody that needs Facebook to know if I have a boyf obviously didn’t make the cut on my favorites list on the iPhone. Just sayin…..

avatar EPIE March 10, 2011, 4:34 pm

My boyfriend and I never discussed this topic, and neither of us have any relationship status on Facebook. Obviously, our friends and family know that we are dating — I see no need to include it on my online profile. I enjoy Facebook because it allows me to keep in touch with people, see pictures they share etc. — beyond this, I strive to keep my personal life just that.

avatar TiphanyLouise March 10, 2011, 4:43 pm

Whenever it’s decided that we’re official in actual life is when it’s official on facebook. I know it’s just facebook, and facebook is stupid, but I know waaaay too many people who have been burned because they DIDN’T have it on facebook. My best friend was dating a guy who had it as “in a relationship” but didn’t specify who, and turns out he had another girlfriend… and another friend dated a guy who did not have it listed at all, and he had a FAMILY.

I personally prefer to have it stated on facebook because I have been cheated on before, and therefore I have insecurities. Regardless of how silly it is, it does make me feel a bit better knowing it’s out there.

avatar Elle March 10, 2011, 5:09 pm

When FB appeared (2006), I was married. Everybody knew we were married. Sometime after we both got accounts, we put it on there. Then I got divorced, and I don’t remember when I took it down. I don’t even remember if it was a priority…

Then I had single for a while. And everytime I looked at me profile it just seemed pathetic. I don’t mean it’s pathetic to have ‘single’ on your profile, but I didn’t like it on my profile, so now I have nothing.

Haven’t had a relationship since, but I really don’t know what I would do. Especially since some of my friends on FB are people who probably don’t even know I have ever been married… And I would feel so silly taking it down a few months later if I decide I don’t want to continue…

I never thought of putting the relationship status on FB to protect myself against cheating…

avatar TiphanyLouise March 10, 2011, 5:41 pm

I wouldn’t say it necessarily “protects” against cheating, but it might make it harder, as well as enlighten you about the quality of some of the people you know.

For example, when I was in college, a peer “friended” me on facebook, and seems he also had known my boyfriend for a while. My relationship status was clearly stated on my profile, as well as my profile picture which included my boyfriend in it. None of these things stopped him from sending me inappropriate messages and trying to convince me to “hook up” with him. He was promptly deleted and safe to say my boyfriend was more than unhappy that a friend of his would do that.

Anyway, as I said, it personally just gives me more peace of mind. Although I do have to say when a guy staunchly does not want to have it listed, it definitely makes me suspicious.

avatar sarolabelle March 10, 2011, 6:34 pm

I got Facebook in April 2005….before the public. It was so boring back then!

avatar RoyalEagle0408 March 11, 2011, 6:46 am

@saro-I’ve been on FB since August ’04, when I started college (my school was one of the first to get it), and I can assure you it wasn’t “boring”. We managed to procrastinate a good bit on it still. I kind of miss the pre-news feed days and the time before statuses mattered. Now it’s just too overwhelming for me.

avatar sarolabelle March 11, 2011, 5:01 pm

I had only like 10 “friends” and they were people I rarely talked to anyway. So I hardly logged on.

avatar Lydia March 10, 2011, 4:49 pm

My boyfriend and I met on OkCupid, and we actually decided we were a couple after I asked him “soooo, should we change our OkCupid statuses then?”. The Facebook status was a no brainer after that. ๐Ÿ˜‰

avatar Elise March 10, 2011, 5:28 pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for roughly six months and while everyone knows we’re together (the pictures make it relatively apparent), our statuses haven’t changed. My boyfriend doesn’t have a FB status, like many others above have mentioned. In his last relationship, he changed it almost immediately to ‘In a Relationship’ and they broke up after a month. He’s a bit more guarded now. I’ve been ‘Facebook married’ to a girlfriend of mine for about two years now. I’ve joked with her about divorcing her and putting my real boyfriend in, but can’t bring myself to actually do it. Maybe if we were to ever get engaged, I’d change it.

avatar Laurel March 10, 2011, 5:41 pm

I’m planning on waiting until I’m engaged to put anything relationship-wise on facebook. For some reason, “in a relationship” seems cheesy or something to me. I guess I’m kind of binary about it–single or officially together.

I must admit, I get some schadenfreude with the little break up heart, at least depending on the person. But I do enjoy seeing people get together as well.

avatar BeccaAnne March 10, 2011, 8:48 pm

Why do you have to be engaged before you’re officially together?

avatar Laurel March 11, 2011, 9:03 am

No, of course not, it’s just a peculiarity of mine I guess. Right now neither of us list relationship statuses and that’s just fine with me.

avatar princesspetticoat March 10, 2011, 10:01 pm

That’s interesting that you find the “in a relationship” thing cheesy. I have no issue with the facebook relationship status thing, but, for some reason I really hate using the term “my boyfriend” in conversation. It just sounds…. high school-esque to me. We’re common-law and I feel like when I say “my boyfriend”, it kind of has a more casual connotation. But saying something like “partner” seems to imply I have a lesbian lover.

avatar MissDre March 11, 2011, 8:24 am

I know what you mean… I feel weird saying “boyfriend” too… He’s in his 30’s… he’s now a boy, he’s a man!

avatar Lindsay March 10, 2011, 7:05 pm

I keep my relationship status blank, sort of for this reason. Sometimes I feel like listing “single” looks like an advertisement (though I get irritated when guys don’t list anything). Mostly, though, I want to avoid the confusion when you’re in that gray area of a relationship.

avatar Anne (I Go To 11) March 10, 2011, 9:14 pm

I, like Wendy, was already in a relationship when I signed up for FB (Mr. 11 and I had been dating for over a year and living together for a few months at that point), so it’s interesting to see how this works.

I did get to surprise some folks when we got engaged shortly after I signed up for my FB account, and it was fun changing my status to “married”. Those are the only times I’ve changed my relationship status, though.

avatar Red_Lady March 10, 2011, 9:17 pm

I’ve only had one relationship while on FB, and I changed it about a week after we agreed to be in an exclusive relationship. So I didn’t vote in the poll b/c there wasn’t an option that was “soon after you discuss having an exclusive relationship”
I completely agree w/ the above commenters that said you should change it after the important people in your life have already been told (regarding engagements at least, relationships to a lesser degree) I found out one of my good friends was engaged via facebook, and thought that was pretty shitty. Especially since I ended up being her MOH.

avatar RoyalEagle0408 March 10, 2011, 10:03 pm

My status has been blank since the summer of ’07. That’s when I realized I wasn’t “looking” and didn’t want to advertise that I was single. I don’t consider myself single now so much as “not in a relationship”. I don’t know, I know it’s weird, but I just feel like when people know you’re single they assume you’re looking.

avatar princesspetticoat March 10, 2011, 10:12 pm

Haha this reminds of me something I stumbled across on the internet somewhere… it was a video of a couple getting married and they actually made changing their facebook statuses part of the ceremony. Seriously. They were at the altar, pulled out their phones and simultaneously changed their facebook statues.

I like facebook, but that’s a little ridiculous.

avatar Lexington March 11, 2011, 1:41 am

i’m with the people who changed it after they decided they were exclusive. I can’t even remember exactly how that conversation went, just that he left my apartment and I texted him, ‘So do we change our facebook now?’

Anyways, I like it because putting it out there means the other person isn’t trying to hide you. Too many bad experiences with guys who wanted to keep their options open have made me a very big fan of that little button. If you’re dating me, you should want to tell it to the world, and I am very happy to say that MrLexington constantly tells the world about me ๐Ÿ˜€ I think it’s only helped our relationship.

avatar evanscr05 March 11, 2011, 7:38 am

In my case, I met my guy online, so BECAUSE we met online, to be cute, the way he asked me to exclusive was by sending me a facebook request to be “In a Relationship with ….”. Some people will probably think that’s lame, but to me, it was so sweet. I really think this just depends on the couple. Some people want to announce it right away, some people prefer to keep the relationship just to themselves for a while. I don’t think it matters, really. There’s no real “you HAVE to do [xyz]” case with regards to your online life. Just do whatever feels right for you.

I’m not one of those people that has 800 million friends on facebook. I’m only facebook friends with people I actually know in real life, and who’s life I’m even remotely interested in keeping up with (though, yes, there are some people who are on there out of obligation or to not stir up drama…their feeds are just hidden to me). I don’t talk to every single one of them all the time, so facebook is a great way for me to let them know what’s going on in my life without having to worry about “did I forget to call so and so and tell them about this?”. In fact, this was how we announced our engagement. We changed our status. Sure, there were some people I called first, but for the most part, that was how I got the news out. Super effective.

avatar JennyTalia March 11, 2011, 8:30 am

I recently started seeing someone who I will probably call my boyfriend in the near future. Currently neither of us have a status up (for me, mostly to avoid any grey area and I feel like “Single” sounds desperate). I would like to advertise that I’m seeing someone because I’m happy and I want to brag about him a little bit. However I don’t want his family to Facebook stalk me before they meet me, and I don’t plan on meeting them any time soon (his situation is complicated with an ex-wife and a daughter), so I’m thinking I may just leave it blank.

avatar MissDre March 11, 2011, 8:42 am

You could just put In A Relationship. You don’t have to link it to him… and keep your profile completely private so that nobody who isn’t your friend can view anything about you.

avatar elisabeth March 11, 2011, 8:53 am

A quick scan of the above posts reveals a lot of anti-facebook comments. Maybe it’s a generational thing? I just graduated with my BA, and that’s how I keep in contact with most of my peers, that’s how we know what’s going on in each other’s lives. I know for me, the only people I have on my friends list are people who I actually know, everything is set to private otherwise. And if somebody doesn’t want to read my status updates, they can alter what content they see in their newsfeed. *shrugs* I think there’s a generational disparacy in how people view (and use!) Facebook.

I’d say change the status once you both agree it’s exclusive and think it could go somewhere. Certainly don’t do it immediately after the first few dates!

avatar applescruff March 11, 2011, 10:53 am

I leave my relationship status blank, relationship or not. Partially because I’m in psychology and I’m pretty careful about what goes on my page, but also because if someone really needs to know my relationship status, I’ve most likely already told them!

avatar Nikki March 11, 2011, 11:27 am

What about when you decide to be exclusive? That seems like a good, solid time. And it could be at 2 weeks or 6 months (or even later), depending on the relationship. I didn’t call my boyfriend “my boyfriend” until we had the exclusivity talk, and it has worked out well.

avatar Steeze March 11, 2011, 12:27 pm

i never put my relationship status on fb and none of my family members do either. theres way too many random people on there and its none of their business anyway. the people that need to know, know because theyre my real friends and are up to date on my life… i dont even know why i have an account… i do like posting random articles and videos. i guess its my mini blog.

avatar SpyGlassez March 11, 2011, 4:41 pm

When my BF and I were first discussing our first date (had not even gone out yet!) he asked me, “If the date goes well, do you want to change our facebook status?” Honest, it had never even occurred to me because at that time, I wasn’t on FB so much (so much can change in a year!) but it was a big deal to him, so we had our date, decided we were in a relationship, and changed our statuses all on the same night. If it were up to me alone, I don’t know that I ever would have posted it – not that I don’t care about him, but my FB doesn’t have much personal about me on it. However, now that my friends are scattered to the wind, and I am back in touch with cousins on the other side of the globe, I LOVE FB and am on there often to swap jokes and punchlines. So, I think it depends on the relationship….

avatar Chicka Bow Bow March 11, 2011, 6:59 pm

I’m not even Friends with my boyfriend on FaceBook anymore. I learned that it was a recipe for disaster when a relationship is going through a rocky period. It’s so easy to start trolling each other’s Facebook Friends and getting riled up over comments on each other’s pages. I just pulled the plug on the whole “Friendship”.

avatar PhantomJen March 11, 2011, 9:45 pm

“At exactly three months. Any sooner and you look kinda desperate.” Why? Because pop culture tells you that saying you’re “in a relationship” with someone after being with them for any less than three months is ‘too fast’? Ridiculous.

The options for this poll are another example of why I’m glad my fiancรฉ and I never went through that silly obscurity phase that seems to be at the beginning of so many relationships where both parties are tiptoeing around whether or not they’re *actually* in a relationship and nobody wants to be the first to call each other “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.”

avatar Fairhaired Child March 12, 2011, 10:27 am

I agree with SpyGlassez it really depends on the relationship. I used to be “married” to one of my best female friends throughout several of my relationships, and when the then-boyfriends wanted to change statuses to dating I was like “BUT THEN SOMEONE WILL STEAL KELLIE FROM ME” and changed the subject. I spent more time with her and she was a bigger part of my life – and constant – than any “boy”.

I did actually have a boyfriend who wanted to change it to dating right away and I’m glad I didnt because 2 months into the relationship I found out he didnt even know my last name (let alone middle).. and the kicker – we had the same last name. Needless to say that realtionship was not a keeper.

I feel though,unless you are at a “more mature” age and have been dating your SO for a reasonable amount of time (>6months) then its much easier to leave the status blank. I have a lot of friends in college and not in college who I feel just haven’t found their “nitch in life” and are just dating to date, and I get really annoyed at all the “OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH” and then 3 days later they break up etc.

I even had one friend who dated a guy for 2 months and was pretty much living at his house and they just decided to “go ahead and get married” since they were already pretty much living together. Needless to say now that they have their own place together(he was living with his parents and so was she) she feels that she doesnt know what happened to “her man” after being married for 4 months.. my thoughts on that is everyone is on their “best behavior” for the first part of a relationship, its only as you go farther down the line and get to know each other better etc and possibly live together that you can tell if you really like the person or not.

avatar Emma March 12, 2011, 7:45 pm

The closest thing I came to here was ‘after three months.’ I figure, when you feel it has become a long-term relationship.

avatar Anna March 13, 2011, 1:35 pm

I would say as soon as you both agree you are exclusive, but that’s not an option. I’ve actually never changed my relationship status though because I’ve been in my current relationship much longer than I’ve been on Facebook.

Jess jess of cytgirlsworld.com March 15, 2011, 3:34 pm

I do think there is a generational split here… I’m in my 30s and in the camp of no relationship status listing at all. Although my BF and I post about each other and have plenty of photos posted of ourselves together. I prefer that its implied rather than advertised. But this is a personal choice and I see nothing wrong with listing it once you are exclusive. It just means, as people said, that you have to be ready for some degree of unwanted attention if/when the relationship dissolves.

I think if I get engaged, I would be comfortable at that point to officially link to my fiancee. If you are ready to make your relationship public before god, family, and church,… Facebook seems like a pretty easy leap.