One of the hallmarks of attachment parenting, a child-rearing practice that is enjoying its moment in the sun, is co-sleeping. If you live in Brooklyn like I do — or some other similarly progressive community with lots of yuppie/hipster types – and you have friends with kids, you’ve probably heard about how these new parents keep their babies in their beds for many months. Personally, I couldn’t care less what goes on in other people’s bedrooms, but I’d be a nervous wreck sharing a bed with a baby. Drew and I did, however, keep Jackson in our room until he was about three months old, and let me tell you, even if I’d felt like getting frisky — and for those of you women who have had babies, you know that sex isn’t exactly top on your list of priorities in that initial post-partum period — I’d have — did have — a hard time getting past the fact that our little baby was within feet of us. Talk about an instant mood-killer.
But, apparently, lots of people don’t share my view. In fact, a recent study suggests that 59% of Americans report having had sex in the same room as their children, and in Sweden, a third of couples have sex when their babies are in the same bed. Not surprisingly, this has some people up in arms, with shouts of “child abuse” even being thrown about. This article in the Daily Mail summarizes a pretty humorous discussion on a European morning talk show between two women on opposite sides of the argument. Some highlights:
“I co-slept with both my children and breastfed them until they were between nine and 12 months,” said ‘Lynnea.’ “If the baby woke up I would roll over and breastfeed, and then go back to sleep. Occasionally if my husband and I felt like kissing or making love, we did it. It would always be an intimate and passionate act. It wasn’t this noisy, wild act of sex that I think some people are imagining. It was a very calm and loving, natural thing – especially given that there was a baby in the room. [...] “I don’t moan and groan my way through my lovemaking. It’s a peaceful and calm moment.”
“Sonia” argues: “There are issues with the vibrations. The vibration and rocking that the children can feel.”
Lynnea counters: That’s hogwash. There are all sorts of toys available out there which rock and vibrate our children so we can finish doing the washing up. The vibrations do no harm.”
It goes on and on and concludes with Sonia saying she’s only every known one couple who admitted to having sex while their baby was in the same room, so she can’t believe 59% of American couples report doing it in the same room as their kid.
Where do you fall on the issue? Would you have sex while your baby was in the same room? Do you draw the line at sexing it up while a baby is in your bed? Or are you cool with that?
[via Daily Mail]