In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
Toward the end of the relationship, I discovered that he was very involved with the Pick Up Artist community. In short, he’d receive texts from a guy named DJ Fuji, and had tons of documents on his computer titled “DJ Fuji week 1, “DJ Fuji week 2,” etc. I Googled the guy and he is apparently a pick up artist who offers personal seduction coaching, which included text message support and weekly “homework.” Then I Googled Bill’s name and email address and found Twitter and YouTube accounts that followed tons of pick up artists and channels for seduction tips.
To clarify, I wasn’t looking through his phone or computer when I found this stuff; he has an iPhone, so whenever he’d receive a text, the sender’s name would flash on the screen in a giant font size, and I saw the documents when we were working together on a class project. I never read the content of the texts or files — I simply saw the titles of each when he was looking through his computer — so I don’t think I was snooping until I went on my Googling spree. While I don’t think Googling is snooping, I totally take responsibility for the fact that this was still a weird thing for me to do.
Anyway, I never told him what I found, but now that six months have passed, I still think of this pretty often. I don’t feel like I was deceived by Bill, or that he’s a bad person; I guess I’m just not sure about what kind of men are involved in the pick up artist community. I assumed that most guys had casually read about it online after the TV show a few years ago, but I was surprised that Bill was actually spending so much money on this service.
I’m curious to hear everyone’s thoughts on pick up artists. Are they mostly womanizers? Misogynists? Geeky guys with insecurities? How common is this? Any insight is greatly appreciated! — Former Artist’s Muse