In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
On the opposite side of things, I love to talk about sex! I’m very interested in it, and I would like to know exactly what turns him on. I also like to specify my own preferences. However, his obvious discomfort with the subject is causing me to become quiet as well. In the beginning I would tell him what felt good or what I’d like to try, only to be met with uncomfortable silence. It’s not that he’s not open to those things (he definitely takes note of my requests), but the silence makes me feel dumb for talking about it.
I’m not sure what I can do to encourage more communication. We have talked about it a few times and he has said that he tries, but he never has anything to add or ask. He’s also mentioned that he’s uncomfortable talking about it because he’s just not used to talking about it. I have tried asking him what feels best while in the moment, and I have also tried asking him questions casually while we are not in a sexual situation. I get the same types of responses both times. I also compliment him often on his performance, to try and instill more well-deserved self-confidence.
What can I do to put him at ease? Do you think he will ever be comfortable opening up, or should I just get used to it? — Not Enjoying The Silence