I get a lot of letters about kissing, something that falls a bit more in the physical realm of relationships than the emotional side (which is the side I feel more comfortable addressing). So, in a new feature I’m calling “Your Turn,” which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
I’ve been dating my live-in boyfriend for two years now. I love him a ton but the problem is he hates kissing. I, on the other hand, love it. Early in the relationship, we would make out often, but after we moved in together, I started noticing his aversion to kissing. When I flat out asked how he felt about kissing, he answered that he hated it, and I was pretty taken aback! He said it felt “juvenile and really high school” and he just didn’t see the point to it. I, on the other hand, see a HUGE point to it as I enjoy it and I find foreplay a lot more satisfactory when kissing is involved (our sex life has remained good throughout the relationship, but the lack of kissing during foreplay means that it’s hard for me to get adequately turned on), not to mention the fact that without kissing I feel like a romantic connection is missing. I told him all this, but still, his aversion to kissing and refusal to do it remain.
I don’t think I’m a bad kisser and I brush my teeth twice a day. I’m not asking for hour-long make-out sessions; I just want the occasional meaningful kiss, maybe a few minutes of making out on the couch and definitely some kissing during foreplay. What can I do? Do I have to either decide to go without kissing for the rest of my life or cut this guy I love loose because of it? — Lonely Lips
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.