Later, he traveled to where she lives and then they went camping together. Mark sent me a picture of his sister cooking for him, saying: “I’ve got her trained, too. Right, babe?” and I may have been drinking when I said: “Yeah, well she thinks you’re sexy, so why wouldn’t she cook for you?” That started a whole thing and I called him and he put me on speaker phone without my knowing and I may have said, “Well, are you sleeping with her or what?” I instantly regretted it. But it was out.
When he came home, we were fine for a week until his sister told him I needed to call her because she had hurt feelings. So I did, and she told me that she can never be normal around her brother now, that I need to talk to someone, that I had lost her trust, and that my apology wasn’t good enough. So the next week I talked to a therapist who agreed with me that the situation was bizarre. So I called the sister, told her I went to someone, and sent her a picture of the invoice (although I didn’t get into what had been talked about).
Then a week later, Mark says I need to smooth things over with the parents. Soooo, a week later I met the mom for dinner. She said that I had wrecked their family dynamic, that I had wrecked the bond between her youngest and oldest, and that she would like me to see someone because I had basically compared the family to pedophiles and rapists, which I had never said! I did say the parents turn a blind eye to the touching, and she wasn’t impressed with that. She said that she doesn’t understand why I find this an issue. I asked why no one can see why it makes me uncomfortable or see that my family is very different from theirs, and she said there’s nothing wrong with their touching and that I need to make it right with the sister. She ripped me a new one that evening and I couldn’t even eat my dinner.
Everyone I’ve asked has said this is messed up, and I’ve asked people in New Zealand, Ireland, New Brunswick, and Newfoundland and I’ve asked my family, friends, and a therapist — they all say it’s weird.
So what do I do now? My boyfriend and I are fine. We’ve had a rough five weeks but he’s stayed (he hasn’t had my back with the family drama, but oh well). We’ve fought over everything, but we’re still together — we’re even going on a trip in a few days to get away. But how do I handle his family from here? Please help! — Third wheel
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].