In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
He has made me the happiest that I ever remember being, but I don’t know if the reason I’m with him is simply because he’s “safe.” He is really a good guy and he understands me almost more than I do myself. Except on this issue. I haven’t told him about this particular issue that I have because I barely understand it myself. I don’t want to always feel like I need to check to make sure that I am on my best behavior. Also, I’ve been fantasizing about other guys. I did read either in your advice or in the comments that fantasizing itself isn’t bad, but it’s the first step to cheating. I refuse to cheat on my boyfriends because once a cheater, always a cheater. But I feel like I could really easily cheat. I love to flirt and that’s how I get along with so many different people. My boyfriend and I have talked about this and he is semi-okay with it as long as I don’t lead the guys on.
I’m just a mess. I don’t know whether I should somehow talk to him about it — but what would I even say? — or if I should try to break up with him. Maybe I just need to be single again. But I’m sure that if we broke up it would break his heart — his ex-girlfriend messed him up quite a bit when she sprung it on him after three years that she didn’t love him. — Dancing Queen