In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter — a classic question if there ever was one — without commentary from me:
Unfortunately, this weekend, my boyfriend will be attending a bachelor party that will venture to the clubs. Let me make it clear that I trust my boyfriend with everything I’ve got. I know that if it weren’t for the bachelor party, he wouldn’t even consider hitting a strip club. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is not going to cheat on me. But I am NOT okay with this outing.
And here is the conundrum. The strip club outing is going to happen, because the organizers of the party have planned it. Boyfriend is going to the party because it’s for a close friend. If I tell him he can’t go, it creates major discord between us because he has to leave the party early and he, like me, doesn’t like being forbidden to do anything, on principle. But if he goes, I will be very, very angry and hurt. My stomach churns just thinking about it.
There doesn’t seem to be any solution here. The most common response to this dilemma is, “Oh, lighten up. It’s no big deal!” or “My wife doesn’t mind if I go to strip clubs!” Telling me not to feel what I feel strongly isn’t helpful.
So here are my questions to you, Wendy, and my fellow DW readers: Am I the only one who feels this way? Is there any solution that works for everyone involved? Why do we cling to this tradition and why are we expected to be okay with it if we aren’t? — Anti-Strip Clubs