In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
A few examples would be: he’ll make a boob reference when I use the word “cup” to mean the drinking vessel, an oral reference when I say “job” to mean employment, or T&A (tits and ass) when I try to talk about a TA (teaching assistant). It drives me absolutely insane because he does this all the time and reuses them. I can’t even come up with a comeback because I’m so exasperated. I’ve tried talking to him, but he is on the other extreme end of the spectrum. He thinks his jokes are hilarious and he doesn’t see what’s wrong with them. I tried telling him how they’re inappropriate and annoying (in a nicer way), but his defense was “that’s who he is” and it’s not something either of us can change.
I try to accept him for who is he and in all fairness, he’s a wonderful guy apart from his jokes. But the problem is he doesn’t see how much they bug me, and I can’t see how much he appreciates them. He’s tried cutting back a bit, but it’s still…bad. He doesn’t seem to understand how frustrating it is for me when he pops a joke in the midst of a serious discussion.
On the other hand, I’ve tried another approach by telling him how a sense of humor isn’t important to me and I always tell him how much I love him, so it’s not like he’s trying to get my attention. I don’t know what to do anymore. How do I approach this? I’m in this for the long haul so I can’t just break up because I don’t like his jokes. But I’m not sure where we can find middle ground in this issue. Thank you very much for any help. — No Joking