In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
I hold so much resentment towards him for the choices he has made and all the horrible things he has put me through. My husband was high the day we got married. He left me on our honeymoon night to get more high and came back home after 2 a.m. I just this year experienced my first holiday where he wasn’t high. Those memories are only the beginning of the worst, saddest years of my life.
I have stuck by him always, through the drugs, withdrawals, jail, and infidelities I believe he has had. I would think that is love, but the reality is that most of the time I just feel empty. Though my husband is now “trying” to get clean, something still feels to be missing. When I think of all he has done to me, I truly feel hate. I’m tired of everything being about him — his addiction, his depression, his withdrawals and trying to get clean. Even his friends are always before me.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel sure I want a divorce. But I’m not sure I want to stay with him either.
We have no children and nothing shared. I’m the only one who works, and the apartment is rented under my name. I pay all bills and have bought everything myself. Getting a divorce should be a breeze. But something tells me I love him and that he just needs time. But the truth is, I don’t know that there is anything he can do make me feel he really is sorry. I don’t think it will never be enough for me. What should I do? — Regretful Wife
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.