In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
I get along great with the son, but the daughter is somewhat leery of me still which is understandable as she has been the lady of the house for a long time. But we do get along. Now his ex-wife is back in the country, back in the same town and is continuously going to my boyfriend’s mother’s and sister’s homes. I went over to visit the sister and she was showing me photos on her phone of her weekend with my boyfriend’s ex. Sigh. It started off as “look at the boys” and than “pop, there is the ex wife in there too.”
I’m sure she is a nice enough person (I was not her friend in school, though; we didnt run with the same crowd). But it is disheartening to have her in my face all the time. I mentioned to my boyfriend that I had gone to visit his sister, and he asked me if I ran into his ex while I was there. Now I wonder if she was hiding in the bedroom. The sister went in there a few times. Don’t get me wrong — my boyfriend has stated to me many times that he can’t stand to be around his ex. He is polite for the kids’ sake, but has stated how much it bothers him that she won’t just go away and leave his family alone. He suffers from depression over her taking off with the kids (the kids were his life) and he is still dealing with the anger he has towards her. Oh, and another problem: his sister, whom I do get on with, still introduces me to her friends as her “brother’s friend.”
To be honest, it all really hurts — not just me but my boyfriend as well. I dislike seeing him so upset over the situation. — In the Ex’s Shadow
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.