Since we were already best friends, we didn’t need to go through that awkward phase of impressing each other. We were able to talk about kids, marriage, and living together comfortably four or five months into our relationship. I felt undeniably happy every day with him. But lately, I’ve noticed a big change in our relationship. I’m not eager to lean in and kiss him as often, I don’t bounce off the walls anymore when I see him, I’m not as touchy-feely, and I hesitate to envision what life would be like together now. Then all of a sudden we have a “good” day where I feel the way I did when we first started dating, but it goes back to the same “sunken love” the following day. Pretty much a roller coaster of happy and boring…
He graduated from college this past June, and I am in my senior year now. Starting school again this past September, I feel passionate and involved in my work. I am big with setting goals and achieving them. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still hasn’t found a “real” job and seems to take it easy in his daily life now. He sends in job applications here and there for “experience,” but he does not work as hard in finding a “good” job in my eyes. I feel that if I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t play video games every night and instead would be trying harder to earn a legitimate occupation.
I’m lost as to whether I’m experiencing the “comfortable” stage of our relationship where it is not the same as the honeymoon stage, whether I just see him as just a friend again, or whether I feel like I am being held back by the fact that he isn’t pushing himself as much as I’d like him to be. How do I/we move forward? — The Honeymoon’s Over
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].